The Difference Between Pride and True Narcissism

[@mm7846]

This topic is very needed. As a Catholic who is taught to give and give, this intersection of empathy and narcissism can be confusing to navigate 🙏🫶Any wisdom is greatly appreciated!

[@zelie1155]

3:21 Gaslighting is when someone will try to convince you of an alternate reality. This is emotional abuse! Do not accept it, and you need to find someone to talk (therapist, friend, etc) who you can talk through this stuff with so that they can tell you, "you're not crazy." You are not crazy. Also, if you are a victim of gaslighting--keep a journal. It helps you remember reality.

[@no_prisoners6474]

I was in a situationship with one of such people. When I got discarded I cried and cried. I wasn't aware that it was grace. To be honest it still hurts sometimes when I think of the treatment. But I'm better off now cause he's not in my life. This lead to my reversion to the Church and down the line, I had to pray for humility too.

[@meganslonesings]

I’m so sorry. It is hard. I had a narcissistic friend. Praying for you. ❤️

[@no_prisoners6474]

@@meganslonesings thank you. Bless your heart ♥️♥️

[@kevper96]

In this community we understand we don’t hate, but do not want to expose our kids to nonsense.

[@BertoldSzekeres]

To cut them off is not about you deserving more, it's about you not being able to help them by being their doormat. It doesn't do any good for them. But it does destroy one's soul if they try to 'save them' or 'love them enough so they change'. Sometimes loving someone means to keep a distance from them. Otherwise you're just a fuel for their lies and false self images.

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

Win win ....we have to know it's OKAY to also feel worthy of respect. We too, are children of God.

[@sasukeCS7]

... But we do deserve more. Being a doormat is not good for them OR for us, because it goes against our dignity as children of God worthy of respect and love.

[@siger03]

I've met a few people with this personality trait and I've had to distance myself from them and trust my gut. It took me some time and hurt but eventually had to set boundaries. I wish them all the best and love/care from afar.

[@lukec8371]

Helped me reflect if I've ever been a narcistic myself maybe if I victimized myself.

[@YananoBere]

Shout out to Dr. Ramani. She is BRILLIANT 👏🏾

[@phine999]

Jackie, thank you. That's my parents whom you're describing. How can I run away from them? I have been praying for years but the Lord has not answered. Thank you for recommending those psychologists, I think Catholics especially need to recognize narcissists.

[@user-bl4lf9rg8m]

They can't change, no contact is a must

[@analuciasequeiracastro9132]

@phine It's the same with my parents. My dad passed away, which made it easier. But my mom is still the same. The only way I could survive was distancing. Of course, I love her because she's my mom, and see her sometimes, but even when I meet her for a couple of hours, I am defensive because I know she's gonna throw a blow at any moment. My siblings follow her all the time, and even when they feel manipulated, they play her game. They can't get free from her, and at the same time, they also attack me when she manipulates them into doing that. So, it's very difficult to spend time with my family. Distance has been the only solution. I keep praying for all of them, but if they don't want to admit their problem, nothing can be done. I hope these words help you in some way. You can find good Catholic therapists as well.

[@phine999]

@@analuciasequeiracastro9132 thank you for sharing your story. I'm hearing how much pain you've endured. In my parents' case, it was a generational thing...that was the way my dad was treated by his parents and that's how he treats my mom and my mom learned it from her sister and my dad. Your words and seeing your resilience give me solace that I'm not alone and that there is hope. I see a similar pattern with my parents: unwillingness to admit their mistakes and of course refusal to change. I will keep you in my prayers and hope you will keep me in yours too. I plan to seek counseling of some sort soon, thank you.

[@phine999]

@@user-bl4lf9rg8m I finally realize it now. Took me so long...the no contact thing is still hard for me to do because I've been so conditioned to feel guilty of not fulfilling my filial duty as my parents' child. I'm learning though to gradually at least emotionally and mentally distance myself from them, and plan to seek counseling.

[@user-bl4lf9rg8m]

@@phine999 I know how hard it is. Consueling helped me so much, but be careful when looking for psychologist, some of them just don't understand this. And please be gentle with yourself during the process. Wish you all the best, God bless you ❤️ (sorry for my English)

[@allsaintsacademy9344]

Such a valued point... you are called to love, but loving one that is narcissistic is not and can not be love in any way shape, or form. I think the scariest are the ones that hide it well, many times these individuals fall into sociopathic tendencies. Jackie is so correct, stay clear, and best to rid them completely from your life. It's harder to pray for these people if your internal truth is compromised by loving them. Narcissistic people do not understand the meaning of love. I do not believe they are capable.

[@MeowyMakes]

No, we love them when we wish heaven upon them. We don't have to be friends with them or in contact with them to love them. We can wish heaven upon them from afar. She said that in the video.

[@allsaintsacademy9344]

@@MeowyMakes Yes, wasn't disagreeing with her.

[@wms72]

I was married to a narcissist for 33 years. He turned our children against me. He's on the parish council while I will die alone. Been praying to God for decades. See no change in the situation, though I am beginning to heal.

[@cristycamacho1464]

I was married to one as well and he turned my son against me. It very painful and I pray every day. God bless you🙏🏼

[@anniem7616]

Narcissists love positions of honor or authority. They crave it in order to feel powerful. It’s very sad. But, the meek and humble will inherit the Kingdom of God. So, stay strong! God has you! Prayers for everyone dealing with this. It’s so incredibly difficult! 🙏

[@AuroraB-74]

I was also married to one, he's also an alcoholic so it was a mess. His refusal to stop drinking is what ultimately led to our separation and divorce. We have 2 adult children together. I wasn't perfect, I had my own sin which caused me to seek happiness in other people, but I tried to work things out for years. I try to pray for him, but I'm also still bitter about some things. I now live a chaste life and actually enjoy being alone with my pets. I'm an introvert anyway but I don't see myself as dying alone. There are other relationships out there other than dating/marriage that can bring one joy and fulfillment.

[@Claymoreinurface]

My mother has tendencies and has turned a friend and the whole family from me and is now working on two of my adult kids. How do I know my mother has these tendencies? Well my ex was diagnosed by a psychiatrist with Narcissistic Personality Disorder after our divorce. My mother does some of the things he did to me. Physical abuse, verbal and mental and oh the gaslighting! However the ex is overt and my mother is covert. The ex didn’t try to turn anyone against me. People were repelled by his behavior...

[@wms72]

@@Claymoreinurface Stay close to God. May He bless, heal and protect you.

[@donnasiracusa4700]

I have tried to pray for some people I know for sure are narissitist. Did not work. I have been in several verbal altercation with them because they play the victim. Also the sociopathic lies along with backstabbing. 99% of the time when I call them out and stand my ground they back down. I have found also a spirit of darkness...yes demonic. They tend to lean towards the devout or most spiritual spirit. Mental, emotional and physical abuse is and can be present. The best thing for me is to stand up to them and remember all conversations. Remember they attack the most when you do not feel well; they wait until they think you are weak. Wrong, there is a power from God that steps in during these times. Call upon Jesus three times and they run. Pleading the blood of Jesus Christ also causes them to run. The devil flees. Praise Jesus!

[@granmabern5283]

“ I have tried to pray for some people...did not work.” So, your prayers were manipulative? Or just superstitious? Praying for other people to do what we want them to do or say seems iffy. We have to pray for the good of our neighbours soul, pray that they eventually go to Heaven. They could end up being holier than us! We should also pray for ourselves, asking for patience and for wisdom. Offering up sufferings that others may cause us. Saint Theresa loved that grumpy old nun because she was an occasion of Grace.❤😅

[@izawaniek2568]

Love and pray but stay away from the narcisists. Thank you for a great message you have shared. It is very important to know how toxic people can ruin other people’s lives. We must discern who we are dealing with.

[@Richie016]

People who are consumed by their own anger and pride, become hostile and indifferent to God's love. Keeping away from stalkers and narcissists is an act of one's own wisdom.

[@hollileslie8105]

I know someone like this and its so sad. They read the bible and pray multiple times a week and are still mean, miserable, and prideful. It is hard for me to understand how somebody can spend so much time learning about Jesus and still have the opposite type of heart.

[@almagallardo7346]

"Love, pray and have some heck no I don't need this in my life!" LOL. It is true! God reminds us to recognize the dignity He has given us. As a child of God, I too need to be respected and cared for. When a person mistreats me and I allow it to continue then I send a message to the perpetrator that I don't need to be respected. Narcissism runs deep on my paternal side of the family. I went through a situation where I was gaslighted by one family member and many of the family members sided with the narcissist. I turned to my spiritual director to help me to navigate this trauma with a Catholic Christian response and she gave me the same advice Jackie gives. You are called to Love, but Love can mean to keep someone who isn't safe for you at a distance. So I keep this family member at a great distance and pray for them in my heart at every mass. Jesus does call us to forgive, but he didn't say you have to interact or live with your enemies to forgive them. P.S. God and therapy helps!

[@NorwoodingSkullMask]

This talks a lot about someone else in your life being a narcissist, but we all need to also take a good hard look at ourselves as well.

[@maribelbellendir8703]

This is so timely. I've been trying to learn more about narcissism because I have a friend who has all the characteristics of this disorder. He has been trying to manipulate me into having a relationship with him by love bombing, making fake plans for the future, gaslighting, etc. To top it off, I have never heard of a cerebral narcissist but I think I may be married to one! Why am I such a magnet for narcissists?

[@MCRandomness]

It's funny that this video was released today, I feel that I'm definitely being sent a message at the moment. My grandmother and father are both overt narcissists, my ex was diagnosed with NPD and 50% of my previous bosses have been toxic in similar veins. Current boss in particular is really challenging, and there are days and weeks when I feel terribly guilty for not having more compassion and patience towards her. I'm slowly learning that having healthy boundaries with such people does not mean that I can't feel pity etc - nor does it make me a terrible person, or un-Christian. Sometimes, when dealing with a toxic person, establishing boundaries within the relationship is one of the most loving things you can do for them. And Dr Ramani has some fantastic resources! Her videos have really helped me with some serious healing over the last couple of years. Very happy to see you recommending her. Love all your content, thank you so much for everything!

[@vanessamachado3474]

Thank you so much for this video! What if you work with them? How to get rid of them? 😢

[@anitawillard5960]

Thankyou so much for this video🙏 What are the options when married to one,plus emotional abuse for years now,stone-walling,gas-lighting,dis-respect,lies,lack of loyalty,withdraws affection for weeks & months at a time,crosses boundaries,no remorse,no empathy,blames ,goes on and on and at my wits end, despite prayer,rosaries,chaplet ,masses,Adoration and fasts for him and our marriage to be restored and healed and for my healing & for guidence for many years now..🙏🙏🙏

[@margaretk6518]

Trust that it will get better, give it up to God, and ask St Joseph to help him. Untier of knots novena Be kind, respectful, be change you want to see...but be sure you are not ' walking on eggshells'. Get exercise, sleep, eat well. Dont add fuel to fire by responding to unreasonable behaviour in defensive way, pray for him and say ' that's not true, but I'm not getting into it now' Advise from a distance over phone that there are a few things to discuss that you want changed when you come back, because you are feeling hurt. Asking direct unhurtful questions is a good way of being assertive without attacking. You can only control your own behaviour, possibly get some help from counsellor to discuss and validate you are a worthy person. Take it in steps and pray for strength.

[@margaretk6518]

Hurting people hurt people so deal with him with mercy initially while getting help and keeping the faith, our lady will help. Sometimes behaviour can stem from fear so show him love also but dont indulge bad behaviour.

[@anitawillard5960]

Thankyou so much Margaret K,you have no idea how i needed to hear all that you have just said🙏 God has heard my prayer for direction and has spoken through you..Praise be Jesus..Amen🙏 May God Bless you Margaret🙏 My only son is a grown man now,31yrs and have two beautiful Grandsons,i will meditate on your words and advice🙏🙏🙏

[@lougf3812]

Hello Anita, I have been in your shoes and was in such a marriage for over 28 years. It is an insanely unhealthy and draining situation. Because of the disorder these men cannot truly be in relationship. They do not have the capacity to enter into intimacy for any length of time, just the occasional highs (which feel so real that you actually feel sad for all the people who are not in this co-dependent, crazy cycle!) As a mother and a Catholic you are called to love God above all else and for me, that meant accepting that God is God and I am not. Once I let go of the reins and allowed myself to begin walking in faith, even though I was terrified at times, I just kept taking one step at a time....life is good again, in a way that I never knew was possible. I had no idea of the depth of the strain I accepted to live with before. We are also called to love others as ourselves, but if we allow ourselves to be abused and mistreated then we are sending our children the message that this is normal/ ok....when IT IS NOT! Only when we are shown how to love ourselves can we really begin to heal and love others with the same grace and courtesy....it takes time, prayer, good friends and lots of love....but God WILL provide! Be well dear Anita.

[@meganslonesings]

Thank You SO much for sharing this because it’s SO important to be aware of especially as Christians. There are narcissists everywhere...even in the Catholic community especially there are people who hide their true intentions and are abusive. A wife’s submission is not to be abused, but there are people who take advantage and misuse women and women, men. I think God put this on my recommended to realize how wonderful it is that I walked away from a situation.

[@certifiedteen2733]

It feels good to know that we still have smart and religious people put there

[@certifiedteen2733]

Sorry i meant out there

[@timinoh9892]

Certified teen moment

[@certifiedteen2733]

@@timinoh9892 yep

[@eddiy335]

This is a backhanded compliment. So you used to believe that religious people can't be smart? How weird and condescending.

[@certifiedteen2733]

@@eddiy335 im sorry if it sounded like i meant that i just meant im glad people are still religious im sorry D:

[@theoverseer393]

I think I understand that I should’ve been harsher to the narcissist that was in my life. I let myself be a bit of a doormat when I should’ve asserted myself more

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

Never helps. Being assertive doesn't change them, as there is never anything they have to change. Just pray, fast, and run. Fast. :)

[@beckyrose5880]

Well God's timing is perfect as usual. This video was posted on the last day of my novena that I'm praying for someone who manifests a lot of these qualities and has been causing a lot of hurt to our family. Jackie you might actually be the answer to our prayers thank you for researching this ❤️☺️

[@IONov990]

Jackie Angel looks gorgeous with her hair pulled back. She has pretty eyes. I think the word narcissist is thrown around a lot. I think most people have narcissistic tendencies in small amounts. There are a select couple of people from my past who had very strong narcissistic tendencies. One person had no issue gaslighting people, she always the victim, nothing was ever her fault, and she was always right. It is very difficult to deal with such people. She constantly had falling outs with various friends and still, it was never her fault according to her. I pray she finally sees how she contributes to the problems in her relationships. Maybe she is lucky. She feels no guilt, shame, regret because nothing is ever her fault.

[@tiff1622]

Girl, ty. Ive been so torn on this, because I want to be a good and merciful Christian, but im literally being abused by people and I didn't know it was okay to even think someone is a narcissist. I thought it was judgement. Time to clean house.

[@Simone-bb8yv]

Dear Jackie, thank you. My former girlfriend is a person like that. In the end i had to stop that toxic relation. I really loved her, but i agree with you, is better to terminate these kind of relationships.

[@maryamal5538]

Jackie i was engaged to a guy for long time , he was a narcist , really anger issues , controlling, screamed when angry ,he didn't accept his mistakes, big liar, cheater , flirt omg you name it , very violent when got angry and after I broke up engagement and he was anxiously to marry , I had things I found out of him to use as reason and over the phone I said You have anger issues and I'm sure you never gonna change , then after 3 years I saw him and he had apologize before , but told me .. I'm in another relationship and I know I'm paying what I did to you .. that person she's treating me same way , I used to treat you . We're getting ' marry , but I don't like her Flirt behaviour and can't thrust her .. and she secretly keep in touch with her ex.. What you do to others came back to him .. I never wished him bad , I just stopped talking and moved away with my family . 🙏It's best keep away from these people .

[@colmwhateveryoulike3240]

Having been raised by a narcissist and having caught myself (with the help of God) from straying down that path as a child, I have too much empathy (maybe projected) for narcissists for my own good. I want my dad to be able to see what life is like without it. I end up tolerating others who think they're fooling me just so I can try nudge them beyond it. But it never really works much. I am so loath to cut them off though. To me they're the people we need to love the most - that's all they want except they don't understand what it is and won't be vulnerable enough to find out. But I am at a loss. I'm probably wrong. I just can't abandon people who need help and don't get it from anywhere else. Also when people cut my dad out of their lives he just bullied us when we didn't have that option. Not blaming them but... life is complicated in a fallen world. I don't have the answer and I would tell anyone to protect themselves, but that's my perspective fwiw. :/

[@user-np5nz8gn6b]

Hi, I relate sincerely with your comment. I was also raised by a narcissistic. Only it was not my dad but my mother. Stockholm syndrome is real, and it takes years to break through the mental barriers that keep us dependent on the narcissist, and allowing them to determine our identity through their behavior. That said, there is a youtube channel, "the enlightened target" which has helped me through the process. God is good and we His children. The narcissist is His child too. I try to turn them over to the care of God and let go of the need to save or change them. God bless

[@colmwhateveryoulike3240]

@@user-np5nz8gn6b Thanks for sharing. Yes it took several years after living on my own before the first voice of approval/disapproval in my head was my own... May God have mercy on all of us. God bless you.

[@donnahalsted7718]

I have learned the hard way. I cannot help these friends. They are so ingrained in their behavior, and it works so well for them, that they will not change. You will become another "thing" they will use, abuse and accuse. Your tender soul will be left fragmented. If you show any signs of seeing through their antics, they will smear your name, dump you and turn it all into "your fault". You MUST distance yourself from them. Be polite in unavoidable circumstances and seek a gentle escape. Jesus is their only Savior, and yours, too. I'm saying this to you but reinforcing it for myself. I've been in your situation too many times, and am determined not to get into it again. Blessings, and prayers. I found BOUNDARIES by Cloud &Townsend very helpful.

[@colmwhateveryoulike3240]

@@donnahalsted7718 Thanks. Yeah I actually call them out on it and tell them how to be better and set clear boundaries but it only works temporarily or just when they are with me but they can turn around and just manipulate others. Now I don't see them that much anyway but I do be on the phone with their main source of "supply" encouraging them not to be used. Sad really.

[@granmabern5283]

I love love LOVED your comment! Yes! Charity is your strength, by the Grace of God! “ I have tried to pray for some people...did not work.” I’ve heard this often, and I’ve done it myself for too long! Praying FOR someone and praying ABOUT someone are two very different prayers. Praying for other people to do what we want them to do or say seems iffy. Manipulative... We have to pray for the good of our neighbours soul, pray that they eventually go to Heaven. They could end up being holier than us! We should also pray for ourselves, asking for patience and for wisdom. Offering up sufferings that others may cause us. Saint Theresa loved that grumpy old nun EXTRA because she was an occasion of Grace.❤😅 Yes, stick to Truth and logic. Take notes if necessary!😅But remember that Charity is our purpose in life. ❤

[@tuvoca825]

Love this video. Great intro. Not just applicable to Catholics but Psychology of people in general, as a schema to.understand it all from a Christian framework.

[@carlykopinski5010]

Loved this thank you. Just the talk I needed to hear! Holy Spirit working through you!

[@cherylding8586]

I've gone through trying to dialog with this friend, who would accuse me for being selfish for doing this and that... and the next minute she does the same action herself! and that is fine(?!) I initially started questioning myself about my actions but now I know better. Sometimes dialog is not the way to go. esp with narcissistic people. Thanks for your explanation. God bless.

[@paulthehanna]

Thank you for making this video. I needed it.

[@betielmehari4026]

Thank you Jackie...I have never thought about that🤔!!!!!!!!

[@Di_bear]

I LOVE Dr Ramani!!!!! I am a content creator on Twitch and KZbin, and the level of narcissism and mental illness among Twitch users is...too much. I found myself amidst narcissists who were manipulating me, and while Dr Ramani's videos helped me heal from kicking these people out of my life, I didn't realize they were narcissists until what I saw in her videos started coming true MONTHS after they left. Now, I'm very careful about my online relationships and I don't take in people who exhibit manipulative tendencies.

[@novijeruzalemnewjerusalem3036]

Thank you, dear Jackie. That's just what i needed today. God bless you. ❤️ From Croatia 🇭🇷✌️✝️💙🌹😊

[@lorettagutoski3589]

I have listened to your comments, I personally feel that it is a worldly viewpoint. Actions towards those who have fallen into this negative “personality trait” should be one of prayful love and tolerance. It should not be fear of one’s own identity being over run because we trust in Jesus.

[@nicoleedwards4182]

Have met a few narcissts in my family and at work. Good video

[@itahayes6165]

Before Christmas I literally threw a Miraculous Medal on my sisters front lawn and handed the problem to Our Lady. Since I got proof on my sister in laws lies and I’ve reason to ask is she the (covert) trouble maker all along. I need to stop overthinking, trust and pray more.

[@JohnR.T.B.]

It might be someone with a combination of narcissism, sociopathy, and even psychopathy that brings very bad experiences in a relationship or even just an encounter. There are always these people who 'use' others as their 'emotion bins', as 'comparison boards', or just to advance their goals in school or workplace, while pretending to be your 'friends'. I believe the worst kinds, bordering criminal, are those who take delight in destroying other people's feelings, ruining someone else's career, relationship, or just life. Yep, cut off any toxic relationship at once and pray for their conversion, stay safe yourself, you don't need them as 'friends' nor as enemies. If forced to encounter at work or in a family, find other people who are genuine and good within, they will listen and help; don't play their games or be provoked in any way. They are like that because they are super insecure and have no confidence, the only things which keep these people going are approval of others, and the ruins of others.

[@markbardusk9516]

She's good! Thank you for sharing!

[@el.Papi_USA]

You say that Narcissists are afraid of being discovered, but I always thought that part of the problem of an actual Narcissist is that they have the internal conviction, according to their interpretation of reality, that they are making proper conclusions. Regardless of other's interpretation of reality. Therefore they don't fear being discovered

[@lorettagallagher9577]

Love.and pray for them at a distance

[@iamdaspeed]

Can you please share a link to the doctors you mentioned in the video

[@PurpleRosesPurpleRoses]

If you are looking for links to both doctors, she has provided them in the video description....+ God Bless +

[@thatwifelife2138]

Dr Ramanen is great.

[@denisekaya6444]

Thankyou for introducing me to Being Human podcasts. Really have enjoyed listening to them

[@pamgross7578]

Thank you Jackie! I’ve been trying to figure out how a husband deals with a narcissistic wife who puts Jesus first ( which we as Christians should do) but excludes her husband in every way. Making him feel he is no longer needed in the relationship. His comment is alway, how can I compete with Jesus? By the way, another great authority on narcissism is Dr. Les Carter. He hasn’t addressed this issue but he is awesome!

[@iamdaspeed]

What do you do if you are married, with 4 kids, to the last type of narcissism you mentioned. 28 years! He hasn't been diagnosed but definitely has those tenancies.

[@user-bl4lf9rg8m]

Divorce him maybe?

[@iamdaspeed]

@@user-bl4lf9rg8m not an option at this point. He's becoming more faithful and it's changing, just so much hurt left.

[@donnahalsted7718]

I did not divorce my narsistic/alchoholic husband. I prayed and offered the pain for his soul. In the morning my first prayer was always "Lord, help me love my husband today. I know he is in there somewhere, but I can't find him." Then I would think of all the good that was "in there somewhere", and thank God. After walking down the isle on my Father's arm to give my virginal self to my spouse in holy matrimony, my other greatest joy was holding his hand until the Father took it from me and led him to the other side. The believing wife WILL save her unbelieving husband. Is it hard? Was crucifixion ever easy?

[@lougf3812]

No one can decide for you what you ought to do, nor when, nor how. Lean into God and tell Him what is on your heart. There is not one way to move forward, and really, your best bet is to allow God to show you what He desires that you do, today. That is all you can manage anyways. We often focus too much on the other person in this situation. Get some professional help, do all you can do to work through what is yours to own and get as healthy as you can. If this produces some change for the better, then you keep walking on. But if you find that it is not possible for you to heal while you are living together, then you may need to get some distance. Sometimes just a vacation with the children can bring some healing. Hold fast to God and know that no matter what lies ahead, God is Good and you are loved!

[@singinginthecar4678]

Its crazy how my mother fits the bill on alot of this.😞😞 And this is why i chose to be single fear of being trapped with a toxic person.

[@cheyenneball2988]

I like your video, thinks for the advice, I've known people to manipulate me and I don't put up with it, I recognize the the signs more the older I get.

[@donnahalsted7718]

Although it does not deal with narcicism, and having had "friends" who were totally strangulating, emotionally, financially and in my personal rights, I found the book BOUNDARIES by Cloud and Townsend very helpful. Neither man is Catholic but is very Christian. I grew up with my boundaries violated consistently, so in my marriage, and friendships, I didn't recognize the existence of and seriousness of this until, as a widow I nearly lost my home to a manipulative, abusive "friend". When she suspected I found out her scheme she totally destroyed my other friendships, lied to my church community and before organizations, even a Catholic organization in which she held an office and to which I belonged. Because she had a very charismatic personality her word was believed. People believe the first thing they hear. Few people question the person lied about. So stories are rarely clarified. I don't have access to a Christian counselor so I ordered BOUNDARIES. Because of the help I received through this book, I am better able to spot users, manipulaters and other unwholesome relationships. But I am not out of the woods yet. I have a whole lifetime to sort out and relearn. I found this talk to be very informative. I'm so grateful for the insights.

[@kristinalinge8089]

Amazing! Thank you! We need video likes this

[@mazikode]

Thank you Jackie..i always learn so much for you

[@michelelewis5666]

How do we love the narcissist? From afar, that’s how! 😂

[@hollileslie8105]

love doesn't mean you have to like them lol.

[@carolynbendzynski1764]

I had a npd friend who put me thru the ringer several times. I kept forgiving because I felt guilty for turning my back on them. Thru research I read that shutting them out was the only healthy thing to do. So I did. I prided myself for staying away for 18months and then I found out they died. For awhile, I didn't know what to do with all my feelings. So I just prayed for them and it helped. My friend used religiousness to manipulate , hurt and deceive people. So I wonder... where his soul is residing?

[@paxchristi1661]

Do more on this topic please. Thank you

[@monicareyna85]

My own family is like me, it feels like I am bipolar because I go from being so angry to really emotional in a matter of minutes because they suppress my feelings and twist my words around. 😓 my therapist recommend it’s time to find my own space. Please pray for me. 🙏

[@lindab3293]

Really interesting thank you! 🙏🏼❤️

[@jacintaflorence2451]

Whoa, that's crazy. I think I knew someone like that. Our whole friend group had to get this person out of our group because she was so toxic : /

[@dsc4178]

Pride leads to a fall. Yes.

[@dymphnatherese2595]

Not gonna lie, I'm pretty skeptical of the core of these labels. We have sin, wounds, family bondages, aspects of spirit (even generationally) like possibly unknown curses, and so on that we as Catholics would be reckless to ignore. There's so many things at play here. Before converting, I loved psychology, and I still see it has value in different areas. It really depends. Often, psychology doesn't acknowledge God, the evil one, sin or the soul. Labeling people here seems dangerous. I was adopted into a family of people who fit the cluster B disorders extraordinarily well, but I learned after converting that there was more that Christ wanted to be brought into the light. Some people are still unsafe to talk to, but one relationship that psychologists deemed hopeless and dangerous has transformed under the heart of Christ. It's become beautiful. I'm forever thankful. He's working on the others and there's nothing he can't heal or change, but sometimes we need to first learn how to pray as is needed. May He keep us always learning how to pray and love as He desires. Hope this helps and God bless you!

[@armoreno10]

Thank you for being willing to speak up here! You’ve touched a lot of things that I have considered. Thank you!! I also get alarmed when I notice negative labelling and find that psychology tends to see the world through a lens that doesn’t (in your words) acknowledge God properly. I notice this has a tendency to keep us from being able to love we are called to love and can create division in the human family! I have observed that labelling (especially the often tendency to label others as narcissists) tends to sometimes be a barrier to helping us see the other person as a brother or sister and also paves a pathway for us to make rash judgment. (Per CCC 2478, we are to careful to interpret our neighbour’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favourable. And when we aren’t able to find a favourable interpretation, then we are seek to understand their position. If we find that there’s something in their understanding that needs correction, then we are to do that charitably.) Furthermore, I appreciate the concept of boundaries and having strong mental boundaries where we are rooted in God! At the same time, I have observed that psychology has a tendency to frame boundaries in a way where people end up writing people off if it’s not convenient to love the person in front of them. All this to say, thank you for being willing to be a voice with an alternate perspective. Thank you also for sharing about your family experiences. I wish you all the best!

[@hiacynta574]

I am addicted from THIS KIND OF person, WHEN I try to break this addiction I need to take some strong pills because of the fear inside me and IT was pain inside me I felt broken all the time. IT is disgusting. my mom and dad are narciSstic. TYPICAL MEDICAL CASES. MY CHILDHOOD IS A FULL OF REJECTION, abussing emotional, physical. IT is diffucult to break this Bond. I am 41 and I can't build my life.

[@Seo-ew9mq]

God bless you Jackie!!

[@beachgirl4]

Thank you

[@runtherace1201]

Thank you for addressing this. It needs to be talked about because a relationship with a narcissist results in abuse. Abuse is not acceptable, even in Catholic marriage. It tears apart the soul and self that God created. We need to stand up against it and support those experiencing narcissistic abuse. Also, FYI....Dr. Les Carter on KZbin is another great resource. God bless all those who have suffered narcissistic abuse. 🙏

[@cadencehogge8528]

Yes, Dr Les Carter!!!

[@heidib6085]

My husband lies, falsely accuses me, manipulates, punishes me with silent treatment, body shames me (I'm not curvey enough), tells me what I think and feel even though I don't think or feel what he is accusing me of. Often, he denies having done these things or insists he is justified. I'm scared and confused. Is it okay for me as a Catholic to think about leaving him? We've been married for 29 years, and I'm not sure I could find gainful employment cuz my self-esteem is so low. I've had cancer (in remission now) and we have a disabled son (autism). I worry about the passage in the OT about God hating divorce. I'm not sure how to interpret the context of the passage. I want to do God's will but I'm so uncertain as to what that might be for me. Does anyone know Catholic interpretation for this particular Scripture passage?

[@PurpleRosesPurpleRoses]

@@heidib6085 Please speak to a Priest about your problem. You can inform him of the problems you are facing and he can address your situation directly. While it is true that God hates divorce, but within the Catholic Church, there are guidelines to which a Marriage is considered valid, and if these guidelines are not met, an annulment can be granted. Although I, nor anyone here, can give you a definitive answer on how your particular case would apply. Please also know that God loves you very much and you are very precious in His eyes. Never, ever let anyone else's opinion (and remember it's just their opinion, not fact) of you stop you from believing in God's love. Also, along with speaking to a Priest, seeking a Catholic counselor is also another option to help you cope with the abuse you are suffering. You and your son will be in my prayers. + God Bless +

[@deRose03]

@@heidib6085 Lord have mercy! Leave asap for the sake of your health, he is torturing you. Mocking your body and stonewalling you - beyond horrible. I hope you'll be able to get out of this terrible pseudo-marriage and get a peaceful life.

[@runtherace1201]

@@heidib6085 I am Catholic and currently going through a divorce from a husband who mostly fits your description. He didn't body shame me but substituted that with physical violence. I agree with the advice from the other two commenters. YOU are LOVED by God. That is number one. He hates divorce, but he also hates abuse of his beloved daughter. What about guarding your heart? That's in the bible too. I'm not telling you what to do, but if he won't get help to change (and I'm 99.9% positive he won't because people with extreme narcissistic tendencies don't), you have to choose to work with God on finding your self again. He wants you to live an abundant life for His glory. It took me 5 priests to finally find one who would help. Don't give up. You do not deserve to be treated that way. One priest even told me that I do not have to stay in an abusive marriage. That helped to hear. Also, educate yourself. Watching Dr. Ramani and Dr. Les Carter on KZbin has helped me understand what was going in, it's effects, and how to repair the damage, with God's love/healing help of course. There is not space here to express how much I understand what you have experienced. Be assured of my prayers for you though. Stay close to Jesus. He will help.💕

[@leonlawre]

Was married to one for many years. I now have peace.

[@HaDao205]

You say we need to stay away from narcissist, even cut them from our life. But what if the narcissist is our parent? You can choose your friend and your significant other, but you can't choose your parents.

[@PurpleRosesPurpleRoses]

It's very true...we can choose our friends/spouse but not our parents/families. May I suggest that you speak to a Priest about your situation. He can offer you guidance and even possibly direct you to a Catholic Counselor for further help. IMHO, its "easier" to let go of a friendship/relationship than it is cut your own parents out of your life. The secular mindset says it's best to cut the cord completely and forget about the abusing person(s), but I think as Catholics, we are called to a higher standard. In no way am I condoning abuse....mental or physical, nor am I stating that one should "just put up with it". This is were the thoughtful guidance of a Catholic Priest and/or Counselor comes into play, but what we are called to do is pray (and possibly even fast) for these individuals. Narcissism by nature is a very hard disorder to treat, but please remember nothing is impossible with God. Its perhaps our prayers that ultimately saves these individuals. Prayers that you find both peace and answers. + God Bless +

[@eddiy335]

People cut off their parents. If one doesn't want to completely cut off their parents they can just spend as little time with them as possible.

[@stealthwarrior5768]

Use ' grey rock' method. Dr. Ramani explains it well in her videos. It really works

[@Happening54Child]

Jackie, I’m curious. For those of us who have narcissists in our families, especially our immediate families, how are we called to deal with those relationships and love those family members from a Catholic perspective?

[@crenshaw2186]

I think you should love them from a distance. Pray for them but don’t interact with them esp if they bother you. Narcissists can’t fix themselves. They need an outside force (God) to fix them. Although I wasn’t a full blown narcissist I was certainly headed in that direction. It took some severe happenings in my life ( loss of career, and health and everything I held dear) for God to break through my stone heart. Remember, as bad as narcissists are, they aren’t demons and there is still hope for them.

[@jusme2888]

From a distance. That's what I do. I'm respectful, helpful if needed, I pray for them daily- and keep it pushing. No visiting my house, no long phone conversations, no hours of hanging out, no discussing my private life, just...no thank you, period. 🙋‍♀️

[@jeni8032]

@@crenshaw2186 how can you love from a distance if it's your husband?

[@crenshaw2186]

@@jeni8032 i think the church allows civil divorce in extreme circumstances. You just can’t remarry.

[@sabinavargo9347]

I think I might have a cousin like this. We all love her but, if we’re weren’t related….. there’s no way we would be her friend. It’s much easier to love from afar.

[@cayennepepah]

whew I've been thinking that my abusive brother is a gaslighter but now I see there's more to it, every characteristic Jackie mention was mentally checked....

[@BoomerAnn]

Please provide the names of the psychologists, as the captions do not display the names correctly and I could not hear those names very well. Thank you!

[@mariaellasm]

Dr. Gregory Bottaro and Dr. Ramani

[@PurpleRosesPurpleRoses]

She has also provided links to both doctors in the video description area too.....+ God Bless +

[@diandraannemamo]

Anybody else looking them up, the names are Dr Gregory Bottaro and Dr Ramani. Subtitles weren't very helpful. And thank you so much Jackie for dedicating a video on this topic. I was actually thinking this just the other day, about whether pride was the root of narcissism. Who's the author of that purple "Narcissism" book though please? God bless from Malta!

[@jeffkeenan5059]

“ I need to record our conversations “ 😂😂😂

[@domenical.2261]

Hope you are doing fine Jackie! It was good video! Abrazos!

[@stealthwarrior5768]

Dr. Ramani is really amazing! Love narcissists by staying way from them! If you are unfortunate to marry one your life is really ruined, especially if your catholic and phychology claims this personality disorder can not be healed. The signs are not visible. They will not show themselves until they are married....too late then

[@christelrascon5474]

We most often talk of various relations all around us as having these traits ... do any of us look deep inside for these traits in ourselves? I often wonder ....

[@donnahalsted7718]

Yes, constantly. I don't ever want to hurt another as I have been hurt.

[@JihyeSofiaSeoDr]

I suffered from narcissistic church community. 😢

[@davidjohnzenocollins]

Love, pray, And stay away. ^ How to deal with a narcissist ^

[@Wintersghost135]

Some people seem to only be capable of bad decisions - to harm and disrespect others. It’s up to us to follow our guiding light if we are so fortunate as to have one. We must choose to either avoid such abominations to God’s laws or we may choose to remain in a relationship with these people that do harm (be it professional, romantic, or social) which will enable them; to let them know they may continue their bad behavior without consequences. Sometimes we may have to choose to either turn our back on God to follow the evil ones, or turn our back on the evil ones to follow God. Considering they are going in two opposite directions, it would be very difficult to follow both.

[@theworldsmostinterestingma7592]

Already married to someone who insanely tries to flip everything she does wrong to a another subject every time. Edit: She didn't show her true self for years either, now admits she was raised spoiled and aloud to do and talk to people however she wanted and it's basically engrained in her now........ 🙄 A load of bull. 😒😒😑

[@zacharyp10]

Yo, she's being honest - try to help her by praying to God the things you two need to work on!

[@theworldsmostinterestingma7592]

@@zacharyp10 she's not always honest about it, God doesn't help people who resist it. I do pray about it, you have no idea.

[@doloresdelcastillo252]

@@theworldsmostinterestingma7592 Don’t loss hope, keep praying; but at the same time set boundaries, be able to have your own safe space, be strong and show her that she will not be able to avoid her responsibilities and will have to accept her mistakes and faults. If that doesn’t work distance is the only solution. As a teenager my grandmother and my self lived with a narcissistic aunt School and books were my escape. My grandmother had a harder time, but knew how to be assertive, and I learned from her. My aunt was not a bad person, she just had a very difficult personality

[@theworldsmostinterestingma7592]

@@doloresdelcastillo252 thank you so much.

[@nandochess]

Yep, my ex girlfriend is like that. I thought i was going crazy.

[@brittanywalker8171]

What if you’re married to someone like this but they recently accepted they are one and want help?

[@cadencehogge8528]

Check out Dr Les Carter here on KZbin too!

[@ljkoh20052000able]

My Psychiatrist will never automatically diagnose anybody to be a narcissist. Notwithstandng its admitted symptoms.

[@grace4976]

I’m afraid for people to get to know me does this mean I’m a narcissist???

[@davidrobertjones2097]

Your cam's focus was a bit off, my eyes went crazy :D

[@couidbemason]

Hey in like 6;17 you said “oh lord”. Thou shall not say the lords name in vain. Just helping and I mean no disrespect at all! God bless❤️

[@ruthnoelmarie...9061]

Stay SINGLE y’all and end those type of friendships...

[@heaven1477]

I met with a narcissist.. Manipulator and insecure.. Slowly I cut them off.

[@tempesnyder6243]

What if I made the mistake of marrying him?

[@jeni8032]

What to do if it's your husband?

[@tertiuscarstens7084]

We’re all selfish. It’s just easier to point fingers at somebody instead of at yourself.

[@iamdavidjehovahsolomonroth6890]

👍

[@jacklyn5578]

me wondering if i’m a true narcissist 👁👄👁

[@singinginthecar4678]

Me too, my dear.

[@jeni8032]

How is someone diagnosed as a narcissist by psychiatrists?

[@CCCat2022]

No, we are not all narcissistic. That’s a very misinformed belief.

[@AG-wh6jw]

Love pray but stay away!

[@vickybiagini8623]

Exactly, everyone is a narcissist. Try talking to someone and actually getting a word in. I've learned to just let people talk and clean my house while I'm doing it. Lol.

[@user-bl4lf9rg8m]

No it's not. Obviously you never had to deal with narcissist

[@ruthnoelmarie...9061]

Right on girl...boogey on

[@NewNoise1]

Sounds like blm

[@christiandpaul631]

Donald Trump