The Dr. Cloud Show | How do you end a marriage when your spouse is in denial? - Episode 123

In this segment of The Dr. Cloud Show, Heather is having a hard time telling her husband that she wants to divorce. They're separated, but he's in total denial. How can she give him the devastating news and remain kind? Is that possible?
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[@luciabaca4343]

One of my favorite take-aways from Dr. Cloud's Divorce Recovery was something like, "guilt is our attempt to still have control and not grieve the failure." Thank you caller. You were brave to share this and I can empathize.

[@eleanorjordan3404]

She’s not hurting him…it’s him hurting her; him hurting him, and the kids, and the grandparents…

[@princepesa]

Agreed. She's not a person to him. His addiction is the idolatry that has taken the place the wife should have. Ask me how I know

[@Bayleaves-bt8gk]

Marriage counseling is waste of time if one partner has already made up their mind to end marriage.

[@carlel121]

Any person, any person that have any kind of addiction is abusive, because is not them, is the thing they are taking acting for them, abuse, verbal and emotional, smoking pot? I hate the odor I couldn’t even live with that guy! I’m dealing with separation too. And he is trying to convince me to stay without any accountability whatsoever, I just ask for him to stop smoking because is damaging is health, and take care of his body and what he eats because he is sick, he refuses! oh but he wants me to stay! Nope, if he is not willing to compromise to make this relationship better but taking care of himself, I’m not interested in this deal, I’m done!

[@kathylavalle]

Thank you for this counsel. Bless you.

[@santacruzskirts]

For the duration of the call I wondered if the two of them were ever able to have uncomfortable communication together

[@stefanydower1350]

The bible makes it clear that God hates divorce...exceptions with infidelity in marriage...even then marriages can be repaired after infidelity.. I agree with setting boundaries due to addiction/abuse issues, but we serve a BIG God who cares about marriage. Have a time of separation and spend time in prayer and have others pray over your broken marriage. Divorce does not take away pain, it creates it. . Give God a chance, give your marriage a chance. Amen. You made a commitment 'for better for worse'..this is worse and ask God to help YOU change. Amen. Throw away a marriage because your husband has an addiction...maybe he has some deep rooted pain. Go to God, Go to God's Word...He brought you two, together.

[@teresawhite4769]

God doesn’t bring anyone together. Marriage is a sad institution that needs to be abolished. I’m throwing away my marriage just because I don’t want it anymore. End of story.

[@Twinkie989]

Divorce is absolutely taking my pain away. 100%. I finally feel positive and hopeful again after over 20 years of horrific depression due to narcissistic abuse.

[@stefanydower1350]

Forgiveness and having a relationship with the Lord Jesus is the only thing that brings healing I have found. take care @@Twinkie989

[@turquesacarolina]

If she's aware of God, why doesn't she engage in spiritual warfare? I mean if he wants her back, and if the divorce is not because of adultery, why don't they keep separated and both of them focus on Jesus?

[@bsp5161]

Yes, amen

[@shellyt7173]

I think she mentioned poor jobs, 20+ years, can only imagine the resources of all kinds that have been poured into other spouses lengthy whatever ...cloud. Sounds like she had just decided she wants to live a strong, healthy life fit her and the kids and maybe grands. Sounds pretty healthy.

[@billhildebrand5053]

2:56 smokes pot, how do I give the sad news...no way to work it out...

[@gsxrfem5180]

Divorce is not a KIND action. Do to him what you would do to Jesus, or your dearest kin. How do you want your "iniquities " to be handled by those you love most? We are called to work out our own salvation regardless of how others are working out theirs. Don't let other people push or drag you off your path. The response should be to LOVE in all its meaning...not mere kindness.

[@CM-sy3to]

She's in sin and her divorce is a much bigger sin than her accusesations of his us of marijuana. My guess is she already has her new man lined uo for her new marriage.