The Internet Made Me Feel Bad For Lori Harvey (And Now I Want To Fight)

[@taybee4653]

It’s weird that 40 plus year old men with wives and children are concerned about what a 25 year old is doing with her dating life. 🤔

[@Chileeeeestop]

It’s because most of them are young and aren’t even married or even in a relationship to begin with

[@nancykerrigan]

And to add to what @Rebecca Campbell said most ot those men view Lori as the ideal woman they should have given the culture they consume (music videos, what the partners of black male rappers/athletes/etc. look like). And they somewhat idolize MBJ; they fancy themselves to be like him even though they may not match his looks or income. So when they see she's no longer with him (because who knows who broke up with whom) they feel low-key hurt even thought they don't know her. Like they have buyer's remorse even though they couldn't "afford" her.

[@Don35]

@@Chileeeeestop 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 no man married with kids cares about this $$..... its other women . .. . .. believe that. . .. .

[@blkyogi999]

Agreed… I’m sick of hearing about it

[@danec2572]

like the outrage that grown a$$ black women have for BRONNY JAMES, LEBRON 17 YEAR OLD SON.

[@communitysolutionspro1520]

There is this thought that black women should be grateful. We forget she is a rich young woman who is enjoying herself and that's ok.

[@SapphicSis]

they want her & other black women to struggle with them.

[@aries8597]

Yup!

[@animeghost888]

It kind of reads to me that “BW should be grateful a successful BM wanted you”. Also, it gives BW outside of her space (regular BW) the thought to walk away. BM’s power in this dynamic is that they can roam and come home to BW, because too many women want them after they get burnt. They don’t want you to walk away because, what other back up plan do they have? I feel like their sentiments are more sinister than they are making it seem.

[@bunnysexy487]

We're so used to being portrayed as the mule, it's hard for certain people to see her having it good.

[@tanyalatricestaysonfire3929]

I agree with this completely. Who’s to say Lori isn’t grateful for all the love he showed her, but it just didn’t work out.

[@RamenzillaX]

I think another aspect is it’s universally understood that MBJ is a “prize” (he’s hot, successful, “masculine”, etc) and he got dumped. These men are insecure and want to blame her for not committing to a king or something because they fear it will happen to them if it could happen to MBJ.

[@yveje9720]

Exactly. If MBJ can’t keep a woman what hope do they have

[@princessbonhomme1167]

YESSSSS THIS! ☝🏽

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

I dony think he's cute

[@tacrewgirl]

This this this

[@LoveAndSnapple]

@@sixteen.candles.4644 He’s so-so.

[@greenbyrd3665]

How tf is she the female version of Future when she doesn't have not one child? Whatever she is doing, she is doing it responsibly. These people are just haters, and unfortunately, many of them are in the black community.

[@ChangedandChosen]

Bingo!

[@cristinarivera5707]

Men do not like when women date the way they do. Period! It’s cute when other powerful men are running through women but when a young beautiful woman is exploring her options the way men have been doing for eons, they become threatened and enraged.

[@mahoganysqueeze]

Preach!

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

Men can't handle their own medicine.

[@cosmicbeauty5682]

Yeah they don't like that competition. My ex would always ask me if I slept with anyone after we would break up (because he would think the grass was greener on the other side). If I told him yes like you and I weren't together for a year, he would lose his sh*t. I never cared to ask him whom all he slept with since I never gave a damn. We're not together 😂 omg I wish I would've saved myself from him sooner.

[@cristinarivera5707]

@@cosmicbeauty5682 Oh I can relate! I had a boyfriend break up with me and then we got back together two weeks later. He asked me if I slept with anyone during that time. I didn’t sleep with anyone but I went to the club with some friends and made out with a guy. This man dropped to the floor and lowered his head. Like you, I didn’t ask him the same question because I didn’t see the point. The whole thing was juvenile and I grew tired of the emotional immaturity!

[@GiaaVlogs]

Exactly!!

[@middlesys9180]

The Lori Harvey/MBJ breakup touched nerve especially among BM and she's being dragged for it. Why? It's almost as if people (BM) are looking for any excuse to degrade and devalue BW. Again.... why?

[@yveje9720]

It shatters their notion that every woman wants to be the wife of a successful man rather than successful in her own right

[@AMMA83]

@@yveje9720 yeah it's like they think if he isn't 'good enough' for someone like her...what does that mean for them? But of course it's not about him not being good enough, he's just not for her at this time of her life. A lot of projection going on basically from certain men.

[@yveje9720]

@@AMMA83 of course I know that and you know that but the way these men think it’s always about metrics and rating people and high value this and that. They can’t just accept that people are people and relationships can work out or fail for a variety of reasons. There’s no literal formula to dating. It’s a problem with male thinking a lot of men struggle to see nuance, they need everything to add up perfectly they can’t just understand that relationships are a little bit more complicated than that.

[@antoinettejohnson2188]

They mad cause Lori wouldn't give them the time of day

[@dillon172]

@@yveje9720 Did you read that comments before you made it all🤦🏾‍♂️. She is legit know for being the step daughter of a successful man and dating successful men🤷🏽‍♂️ y’all just say stuff without thinking

[@hrah2038]

The thing that gets me is that no one actually knows for sure why they broke up or who broke up with who, but your take on misogynoir is definitely spot on for sure.

[@leahmb3215]

exactly! maybe he broke up with her lmao!

[@rachelboateng8839]

Exactly!!!! All these analysis videos on KZbin are just speculation, but we’re out here taking it as gospel.

[@submissiveproviderstboth9485]

SHE TOOK HIS PICTURES DOWN!😂 I THINK WE KNOW

Exactly

[@monimuppet6132]

Fr. Also, it's just a freaking break-up. What is the fuss over this basic, everyday, mundane human occurrence? Like in the end, as mad as some of the speculations make me, I just have to laugh because... IT'S JUST A BREAK-UP 🤣🤣🤣🤣!

[@SamriBliss]

Most of the misoginoir is coming from fellow black men and black women - never overlook that fact!

[@k0k01]

lol correction from the pick me’s

[@keabokan9768]

Because we are a bit more conservative ( black community)..

[@leahswenson7776]

I was wondering that as well as age groups. Is it younger men and women feeling some kinda way?

[@sarebear7777]

@@keabokan9768 if the bc was conservative there wouldn't be a 80% out of wedlock rate. 😂 The bc may claim to have conservative values, but rarely actually stick to them. The bc conservative values are lipservice for the most part. I am black btw.

[@keabokan9768]

@@sarebear7777 well, maybe there is another issue then. But I dont see any non-conservative people expecting a 25 year old to settle down. We as a community truly still see a huge value in doing that (maybe because its lacking in our community).

[@EverHopeful555]

‘Say you hate women without saying you hate women’ that’s the vibe I got from a lot of those think pieces on Lori Harvey

[@cosmicbeauty5682]

These men shouldn't compare themselves to Michael B. Jordan. They probably can't even rent out an aquarium

[@12militarystyle]

Okay, but being able to rent out an aquarium isn't a legitimate qualification for a partner. 😂 Having money is nice and all, but what about someone with values/character that's supportive of you. I guess everyone's needs are different though *shrugs*

[@mcallister..b8891]

They couldn't even rent out a fishbowl

[@allyssak.lifestyle]

@@mcallister..b8891 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@ev6564]

@Alysia Williams Exactly...they act like it's character or money as if BW aren't killed by non-affluent men every 5.5 hours🙄

[@robyndismon394]

@@12militarystyle off the record, aquariums are inhumane and should be banned. Permanently.

[@yanghyunsukgoingtohellinah7724]

Most of the men clowning her and insinuating that she USED Michael for his resources are the same men who up and leave their pregnant partners high and dry essentially USING them for a sexual experience before discarding them. How ironic!

[@roweishagray9966]

Can y’all imagine Lori making a pop song about all the exes she has the way Ariana did?? They would burn her at the stake

[@no-one00]

Exactly

[@kaylad1669]

What song was that? I don’t listen to her like that…

[@XoXoG]

Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift too

[@XoXoG]

@@kaylad1669 it’s called Thank You Next

[@witchingbrew3]

@@kaylad1669 Thank you next. She called out all her exes by name in the first verse.

[@kaylarye6139]

They’re just big mad that Lori doesn’t care about the made up rules they set to keep women “under control”. Men want as many women as possible to see Lori being criticized so they don’t dare try and live like she does. They want that right reserved for them 😂

[@shellyb.8387]

People break up. That's better than being with someone who isn't meant for you. How can so many on the outside judge a relationship they know nothing about? Leave them alone to deal with their pain

[@nancykerrigan]

Assuming there was pain to begin with. Yeah they dated for a year so they might feel some type of way but it could've just been they couldn't have time to devote to each other.

[@hellolove5613]

YES

[@SapphicSis]

i think ppl don’t spend time tearing down multiple times married white women bc white people truly don’t spend the time having think pieces and conversations we have. black men sometimes think white women are perfect & don’t have anything bad about them just bc they’re a white woman. but black women are so different and low, yet WE ARE ALL WOMEN. we all have flaws but they specifically wanna “humble” black women?

[@Goddess_Infinity]

Humble , that’s the word . BM will tear you down so they can humble you ,take away your confidence. I had a BM tell me in his exact words “I will humble you “ . It’s sad 😞

[@alextroy9202]

Such a sad human

[@tf4156]

So you really think if a white woman like Khloe Kardashian dated justin and then diddy, then future and all the same body count as Lori at the same age THEN dated one of the most eligible black men in the world who was openly lavishly spoiling her and then SHE dumped him.... no one would be saying shit about Khloe?

[@greenbyrd3665]

Myah Jamie, yes ma'am! We get the treatment reserved specifically for us, from the very men who should be doing just the opposite.

[@nancykerrigan]

I think also some of us don't invest that much in what white people are doing. I bet some people don't even know who Kaley Cuoco is. I'm not one if those people but I'm just saying.

[@angiefromnairobi]

I generally avoid people who call others 'simp' for simply showing love to their partner.

[@MichelMawon4982]

This "manosphere" (which I now realize includes women who needn't identify as feminists) is responsible for a lot of puritanical and hateful comments towards women; they've done the same thing to Jada Pinkett since her husband's slap. I find it all gross. As a woman I should somehow be amazing in bed without any experience, it's an absurd ask. We are "fast friends in my head".

[@phljawn]

I think the Jada pinkett Smith's thing I definitely do blame her with the August stuff and whatever build-up led to that because they decided to expose that and confront it without actually needing to. But the freak in the sheets without actually having any experience is a delusional male need and entitlement which is just based on insecurities.

[@grazielaalmeida8438]

For me the worst is that they want to a christian wife that gonna act like a porn actress on bed accepting violent sex with degrading stuffs, I don't judge women that like it, but I'm not here for that, so if these monosphere men expect me to do everything in the book, they gonna be desappointed.

[@shantalle.8888]

I don't identify as a feminist, but I support lori harvey and other black women. I definitely don't support the manosphere

[@DK-pi1bj]

Heh they have TROLLED Jada. The hate is on another level. Many even say she’s a worse wife than Amber!! It’s disgusting actually

[@phljawn]

@@DK-pi1bj that's what happens when you're a narcissist at some level, you don't just go about doing some shit like that (August and all the other crap revealed later) thinking it's okay. The public will tear your ass up any chance they get.

[@tinachristine4573]

The politics of fear translated to relationships, is what this whole anti-Lori movement is telling me. Black men feeling disrespected by 'high value' black women.

[@animeghost888]

And also her walking away from a “good BM”, even though we don’t know if the man is abusive etc. Every BM signs a benevolence to themselves of being a good BM for no reason.

[@SapphicSis]

@@animeghost888 They think that any man with money is a high value man and that’s the issue. Just because they are equally yoked with fame and wealth doesn’t mean they’re supposed to be a match! and the fear translated into relationships is real because it’s too many people (like steph said) Who are scared to express their emotions or to do acts of service for people because relationships aren’t certain. But at the end of the day life would be so much more worth living if people just did things without thinking about if it may or may not turn out. I think they’re trashing on Lori because they are using this situation to explain why they don’t court women. a sad life to live.

[@tinachristine4573]

@@animeghost888 oh god yes. They all think that because a bm can walk and talk, he's definitely a good bm. The standards on our men are so low it's crazy.

[@hazar2354]

I don't know why people are offended. Why do people expect a beautiful young woman to go settle with someone so much older. Good for her that she got away from him. I also never understood the hype about him. He looks like a cute puppy, and I don't find that attractive.

[@keshalawrence9727]

I love Stephanie❤

[@INTERESTEDINFORMEDINSPIRED]

I find it interesting that she was being praised for this very thing last year. Oh the internet went crazy, people were obsessed. Dating is just that, seeing if you’re compatible with someone and if you’re not, why force it? This happened to Taylor Swift too. People can’t articulate why they don’t like her but I think it’s pretty obvious. Just my opinion though.

[@jasminenicole9988]

Yes! Thank you for mentioning Taylor Swift. She got the same treatment as Lori Harvey and I would argue on a bigger scale because more people know who she is.

[@kasandimulaa9999]

points were made!!

[@monimuppet6132]

"Scared" is the word. All of the rules and advice come down to one thing; trying to eliminate the possibility of being left. It can't be done. You will get left, you will do some leaving.

[@monicaaparecidaoliveira8063]

Black women also deserve to enjoy themselves. Good video Steph.

[@sade5172]

Her dating life looks a lot like mine in my 20s and even still now when I have the energy (lol). I have lived in NYC for 15 years and this is the norm here. People just date. I also think black people for whatever reasons don’t date as a sport like many other folks do…I’m black and it’s something I noticed within our culture. To me dating is superfluous because I don’t want kids. There’s really no end goal. It’s wild to see the hate pretty black women get for dating around and having fun, but then if we are out here “hysterical” chasing some trash dude we are called crazy. Which is it? Oh yes, they just can’t stand us so black women please do whatever YOU want! Misogynoir is a disease chile!

[@LoveAndSnapple]

Our culture is rooted in gender avoidance. We tell the boys to sow their wild olds but tell the girls not to go anywhere near boys. Don’t talk to them, don’t go out with them, you can’t have a boyfriend, etc. Focus on your studies and when you’re all done that’s when you can get a husband. Not a boyfriend, not date around, a husband. I remember growing up as a child in the black community that if you so much as talked to a boy who sat next to you in class by the end of the day the whole school would think the both of you were going out. The black community is so gender divisive that any interaction with the opposite sex immediately means that you would have been going steady. If you and a boy are “caught” just talking and being friendly without parental supervision then it’s the girl that gets labeled as fast. Boys bring the babies but it’s the girls that bear the responsibility for their “supposed” promiscuity. The dampened interactions between the two means that when the two sexes get together it’s assumed their definitely having sex and definitely being intimate. That’s why everyone thinks Lori is being “ran through.” Black people, especially black women. are not taught to date, they are not taught to court. There are 1 million different labels of being with someone (just talking, hanging out, good friends, etc) but because we don’t know how to actually BE with one another that gender divisiveness and gets in the way and we can never make it down the aisle. Steve and Marjorie have put Lori into a new way of being. A way that is wholly unfamiliar to Black people.

[@heathers432]

Exactly! Very well said. Do you!

[@heathers432]

@@LoveAndSnapple 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@sade5172]

@@LoveAndSnapple thank you for breaking this down, this makes soooo much sense!

[@capybara8477]

not enough has been said about the grown men Michael B Jordan’s age who are now scared that the 20 somethings they’re dating won’t want to settle down with them LMAO like sir what did you expect?

[@DK-pi1bj]

This!!! I’ve seen so many “manosphere” groups on twitter etc telling older men (30s and above) to date and marry women between 22 and 26 (at “their prime”) and leave older “washed up women alone because no one wants them and they’ve been used. (We don’t want them back btw) but now a 20 something babe left the epitome of masculinity and these men are shook

[@fixthatface483]

That👏🏾part👏🏾 A lot of them are realizing that their “teachings” don’t apply in the real world. Especially not for young women who can have anyone they want.

[@sharon-bp9pk]

That’s the truth! We’re just sitting ducks waiting for a run through “high value” man to come impregnate us and make us his house slave?? Hell nah!

[@tanyalatricestaysonfire3929]

I agree! Look at J-Lo! Married, engaged, dating young men and older men and no one calls her a “hoe” or tries to hold her accountable for her relationship choices. Relationships are all about risk and most people don’t want to accept that. Michael B took a risk in dating Lori, not because of her dating history, but because relationships are risky, period. There is no absolute guarantee that any relationship is going to work out, married or dating.

[@cecib.1220]

People absolutely DO hold J-Lo accountable for her relationship choices, especially as to how it affects her children as she is a mother. She's been called needy, insecure and someone who can't be without a man for even one second. But I do agree with you that all relationships carry risk and no guarantees for long term success.

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

@@cecib.1220 yeah thats not a good look when you have kids

[@LoveAndSnapple]

@@sixteen.candles.4644 yes, I think no one would have really said much if she were still a single woman but she was still out and about while being a mother to two children. Of course I wouldn’t want her to become a nun just because she’s a mother but I think it would have made her look better if she had moved with a bit more discretion and not like she was a single woman, unencumbered. Plus, her being back with Ben gives her whole journey a whole “all’s well that ends well“ ribbon on top.

[@nancykerrigan]

Oh trust me. "J-HO" was a thing 😳

[@ccebs8009]

@@cecib.1220 being called needy for J lo does not compare to BW like Lori and Ciarabeing called a ho, pass around or damaged goods not worth investing in. If J Lo was black, her name would have still been dragged in the mud after her time with Diddy

[@popularreject626]

It's sad that so many people are willing to forgo logic, facts, and common sense just to make sure Black women "know their lane".

[@jenhaze]

It’s so strange the way she’s discussed! All the men who speak on this situation who say “she’s for the streets”, etc, seem to think that Lori would ever ever ever be with any of them! So simple and trash!

[@Sunshine-wn4eg]

I totally I agree with you Steph people are so afraid to lose in relationships. This is what dating is. You win some you lose some and move on.

[@ElegantPaws01]

The only pressed element is the black manosphere. She is a young socialite whom is sure of herself and has a good idea of what she wants and takes care of her own interests without choosing to be a baby mama. It pisses them off because they cannot control her or her womb . Let them remain pressed. She is a preference that rejected one of them and they got in their feels.

[@AMMA83]

Yess.they're annoyed she got away without having his child so he didn't leave his 'mark' on her as those men see it.

[@LoveAndSnapple]

@@AMMA83 They want another Ciara reincarnation so damn bad. They want her to slip and fall and be a baby mama.

[@nettaleanne]

I think more so it’s the fact that she’s headed to 30 and didn’t settle down even though she had an amazing man from the outside looking in. From their perspective she seems like another woman that’s impossible to please and uses her looks to feel more accomplished instead of investing them into a family. I’ve been listening more to their side and I understand what a lot of them mean. Especially when I see older woman start realizing the mistakes they made while dating.

[@LoveAndSnapple]

@@nettaleanne I understand what they mean as well, but that’s where the fear mongering comes in. I am a person who makes decisions after long and lengthy consideration. When I look back in my life the worst decisions I ever made was 1), when I was being rushed to and 2) when I was making them out of fear. That unhealthy combination is exactly one of the reasons why women end up settling and settling wrong with men they’re not 100 percent sure they want to be their lifetime partner. You’re right, from the outside perspective I’m sure a lot of men thought that this would finally be it. But she’s the only one who knows in her heart what’s good for her. Besides, if she really decided to settle down with MBJ they’d call him all kinds of names for settling down with what they consider a “pass around” and she won’t be able to step a toe out of line because everyone will be waiting for her to mess up in some way or fashion. She’ll never be able to rest in the public eye.

[@sydlaw2941]

I commend Lori for living her life. I am not too much older than her but I wish I had the mentality to do the same around her age. I don't believe she is going to be worried about much when she is ready to settle down because I know for a fact a well mannered man will be willing and ready to marry her when she is ready to be caught. Her mother taught her very well. As for Michael I didn't too much care for him after all the drama so I feel no ways about his side of the break up. But I love that the younger generations are prioritizing themselves. You can see the glow.

[@Chazcott]

When a Black woman, more than likely, inadvertently makes moves with the mindset of being young with all options afforded to her, black men lost they MF mind. These people said he was her BEST choice and to be grateful. But they decided to move on, and she’s wrong for allowing it lmao. Society is trash.

[@MsLotusBlooms]

He was her best choice. He's hot, fit, rich, and treated her like she was queen. Yes, there will be others but I doubt in the same league. She made such a mistake. I cam relate. I still think about my own often...twenty years later.

[@bdott1538]

@@MsLotusBlooms how do you know what she really wants? Maybe she’s bi, queer, doesn’t actually want to be married, wants different things from MBJ, or maybe this just wasn’t the right timing. Just bc he was ready, doesn’t mean she was…with him.

[@Porcelynnn]

I agree; I did romantic things for my ex and though we are no longer together, that doesn’t mean I won’t do it for my future boo. Love is real, even when a relationship of mine ended, a breakup doesn’t have to make anyone cold.

[@evaphillips2102]

“People have a system of checks and balances when it comes to relationships” EXACTLY it’s exhausting. If you care about someone then show it and don’t be ashamed. Its a real rebel move and it surprises people. And then even if they do end up taking you for granted they’ll never forget how you loved them with an open heart. In the end in a loveless world, that’s what they will regret losing the most.

[@neoloanderson6676]

Yep, I did this and they didn't reciprocate in a timely manor, but It made me soo happy that I was able to be true to my feelings and feel again after yrs of being cold. Best of all, I don't need to worry about, ifs, but's and maybes, I can keep it moving.

[@cmg25]

And if they were engaged, she’d still get the brunt of people’s projections. It’s so funny how much we dissect Hollyweird relationships in a country where divorce is a weekend activity.

[@Mindyourbusiness82]

Wait I had to pause because "The female version of Future"?? Really? That woman has zero children while that man has 50-11, talks incessantly about doing drugs, actively cheats on women. But she's just as bad as him? Okay.

[@verda_renee]

The basic puprose of dating is literally TO DECIDE if you want to do forever with a person. It's not a guarantee and isn't supposed to be. If Lori dated him for a year and decided she didnt want to do forever with him, breaking up is the RIGHT thing to do so they can both find their actual person. Vilifying her for a breakup is the weirdest shxt and it's energy that's ONLY reserved for BW. Because when BM dump women because they aren't ready to settle down they're literally praised for not stringing the person along. BW are not allowed to not be ready or choose singleness. It's gross asf.

[@ccebs8009]

I also think BM have the conception of BW that we are desperate. Desperate to find the first "good" man and either have a baby yo lock him down or demand the man marry us. They don't think we have options and that most of us don't care to settle just with anyone as they believe we do. They are dumbfounded that this girl is putting her personal needs first and isn't prioritizing marriage as the greatest goal in her young life

[@monimuppet6132]

Agreed. The role dating is meant to play has been so twisted and turned upside down. The big one for me is sex. I don't agree to dates because I want sex, I'm there to find out if there's something THERE to begin with. But sex has almost become a pre-requisite for some ppl and the date just a formality. Like, I'm just trying to see if we vibe, if we even can chitchat. It's like you're just supposed to know from day 1 but still go through all the motions and put on a show. It's freaking wierd and backwards and I'm starting to want no part of it.

[@verda_renee]

@@monimuppet6132 exactly. They want the sex before they'll even officially date you. It's literally like that's the deciding factor. Which explains why these "relationships" are toxic and failing. Built on ridiculously superficial foundations. And Lord forbid you decide after the date that you're not interested in them - then it's "you used me for a free meal". No, I went on a date with you to get to know you better and now that I know you better, I'm not interested. 🤦🏾‍♀️ They literally can't comprehend that. Meanwhile if they sleep with you then reveal they don't actually want a relationship we're supposed to just understand and move it along. 🙄

[@mstresedenae]

Agreed!!! Mbj isn’t sitting around crying about all the money he spent on her… he’s Rich!!! And I heard about things she did for him as well!!! I do think that if you know you are looking for marriage/kids then you probably shouldn’t date someone that is not in that place in life… it is still a waste of time.

[@k3sh1a21]

We know what you mean when you say “people”…black men 👀 I totally agree these non black celebs with very public relationships are never told they are for the streets.

[@ClaireHaire]

*Love that " we don't all have to do everything at the same time/same way", this is the reason why social media is linear to mental health erosion. It really is crazy how everyone has this script for what you're suppose to do and when you don't read your lines, they are hurt."*

[@Bizzybeen003]

Not "touch grass"!!!🤣🤣 I hollered!!

[@Social_Pugatory]

“Lori is a super Capricorn.” And that’s it that’ll do it. That statement explains everything 😂 hard to impress. Easily bored. Driven. Always seeking stability.

[@fixthatface483]

Period.♑️💁🏽‍♀️

[@satinayv9657]

Someone is a comment section said something that really put this hate toward Lori Harvey into perspective for me. They said that Micheal B Jordan is like the epitome of masculinity for a lot of men and everyone thought that any girl would jump at the opportunity to marry him but when she rejected him (as this is the most widely accepted theory of their breakup) they just couldn't stomach it. If even MBJ can't get the girl then they simply can't even afford to dream about a girl like Lori. Women with this kind of power, independence and confidence scare them.

[@ravengyal]

That’s exactly what it is. There is a power struggle going on right now between men and women. And it isn’t a race thing, either. White men feel the same way black men do, that’s the true reason there’s an attack on abortion rights. White men want their women (white women) to go back to being housewives and stay at home mothers. They don’t like their women having so much power and “taking their jobs.” This gender war is real and all women are under attack right now. Men don’t like this new age of women. They feel like they aren’t needed and barely wanted (which is probably true lol).

[@kayanclarke5216]

True dat

[@fixthatface483]

Yup

[@Viable7]

I think a lot of men see Lori Harvey as something to be conquered. They don’t see her a person, but a trophy 🏆 to show off. They just want to say “I won, I got her” and perhaps she picks up on that energy, which is why she keeps saying “NO.” I think the man or woman 👩 she decides to marry will actually see and accept her for who she is.

[@ad2094]

Like what was MBJ doing at Lori's age? Clearly, not getting married! Maybe he broke some "perfect" Woman at that time as well. People are not entitled to marry someone because you think the person is perfect and they should be ready. Side note, I would like to remind everything that the news of Lori dating Diddy and his son are RUMOR and nothing more.

[@CJ-um1dp]

Also to add, doing things in a certain “time frame” doesn’t guarantee success.

[@robyndismon394]

Outstanding observation. Thanks so much for sharing. Gave me the renewed thought that there ARE no formulas, ever. . We do the best we can but NO outcome in particular is a guarantee. Have a great day😅

[@eleesiasportraits6114]

I've seen a lot of, 'How could she break up with him???' type comments. People act like because they find MBJ charming in interviews and/or think he's attractive that there couldn't be any reason to break up with him. It's kind of delusional. The general public knows nothing about either one of them, so it's all just very confidently spoken speculation.

[@agnesl8844]

Another example is Trevor Noah's ex. She's dated quite a bit but nobody gives her flack about it. I wonder whether TN would date a BW with a similar experience 🤔 I am so shocked at the notion that people feel BW don't deserve anything good. Almost like, how dare you think/ know you deserve good things or deserve to live free?. Unfortunately, BM are the ones casting the first stone towards their own women.

[@traceeford2914]

😂😂😂😂"Go outside. Touch grass."

[@WILDANDPEACEFUL23]

Your commentary is very interesting. What I was hearing on social media is there was a contract of sorts to legitimize Michael B Jordan with the black female community because he prefers non-black women. I didn’t hear anything negative about her. And as predicted he went back to his non-black woman as soon as this relationship was over.

[@TheCompoundYT]

This! I remember 5 or so years ago, before he got super popular, checking out his IG. Not ONE pic of a black woman in his friend group. I knew then i was cool. They’ve been trying to legitimize ol’boy ever since. I knew this was a rent a girlfriend situation from jump. It was way too public from the beginning.

[@ev6564]

I saw people say she's ran over and good luck finding better

[@animeghost888]

I don’t support any of this mans films for this reason. He doesn’t need to be anywhere near BW, but don’t insult our intelligence. Date the whitest woman/man you can find, and let them take care of you. It’s him using BW and his PR team that have ruined his career for me. He also is just a subpar actor in general, so that might be why he can’t get the crossover appeal he so desperately wants, but hopefully he ends up letting the strong independent white women finance his life.

[@fixthatface483]

This probably was apart of the plan. Date for a year, break up and let her take the fall. That way the black community will rally to his side, feel sorry for him, and support everything he does going forward. Wow smh

[@pmerancier]

I don't know what has been going on, but KZbin hasn't notified me of any of your videos in over a month and my double bell is on. They notified me of this one. This is so upsetting. I am watching them all now.

[@bnadira212]

“Say you never wanted someone without saying you never wanted someone” This 👏🏾right 👏🏾here

[@naturally_nica]

The utter disgust I've seen towards this girl is disheartening and it was coming from brown skin women. I was appalled. The way the inannet mother Theresa came out in droves to admonish her for living her best life was screams, if I can't be on your level I'm going to bring you down to mine. It's sad. There really is this unspoken mindset that brown skin women must be grateful for anything (even scraps) we are given and treasure it like it's gold. People in this world are so ash forward with their thinking.

[@Goddess_Infinity]

Also remember Taylor Swift , at one point dated every man in Hollywood . Wrote songs about their breakups and it was cute for her .

[@LoveAndSnapple]

And when she finally settles down they’ll say, “Congratulations Taylor!! You deserve ALL the happiness!!!” 😒

[@Goddess_Infinity]

@@LoveAndSnapple exactly!!!!!

[@glopes956]

Girl, they hated her for a long ass time. For a while all the celebs joked and commented about about her serial dating habits

[@NamiRokuFan095]

Just randomly stumbled opon this video and your channel and it couldn't had come at a better timing. I recently ended a 7 year old relationship and even though it's gone about 2 months I still think back at the things I did and regret it, but you made me look at it differently and now I actually feel a bit proud over myself and the way I showed affection. So thank you

[@crystalcastillo7575]

I gotta disagree about Ariana , people used to shit on her and blame her for Mac’s death. But, you are right about Lori. Men just hate to see a woman that knows when to leave 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

[@VIEWSBYNESS]

Ahh I swear this is why I love your channel! I’m so annoyed by “the culture” being super flip floppy and you are absolutely right I never even considered those other women because their business wasn’t PLASTERED all over the Internet ! Not to mention the guilt trip it’s taking other young women on . I’m 31 now in a solid stable relationship. Over the last 10 years I’ve dated lots of men this is normal!!!!!! Wtf the Internet is annoying lol

[@AlexaGoldSoul]

Steph!! Sis!! Absolutely love your insight on this relationship and the other factors surrounding our current culture in regards to relationships. Lori didn't deserve any of the disgusting slander that was thrown her way. I don't feel any kind of way about MBJ but if anything, all I saw was a relationship that simply didn't work out. Breakups happen everyday - I don't get all the vitriol. And as mad as everyone wants to be about Lori's dating history, MBJ is in the same industry, Im sure he heard some rumors/stories, and he STILL chose to date her!! But nobody questions why he made that decision; they make him a victim of his own choices. And thats what we do with black men: make them victims of their own choices as opposed to holding them accountable. And thats something we definitely don't talk about enough...

[@annathomas1996]

When you said that past situations showed you the quality of lover you can be... that spoke to my soul. Keep yourself safe, but don't be so scared to be kind and loving for fear of the end of the relationship. It's just dumb.

[@pegasusred8048]

Honestly, I been seen this type of stuff. Interesting that you talked about it on a matter of Lori though. I’ve noticed over time with men, they are competing with women and are sore losers when women are able to date more or more successful at getting things they feel they deserve. Not just men, women too, the more critical a person, especially if it’s out of malicious intent, seem to be in defense mode by being judgmental and protecting their expectations. People are weird!!!!

[@WeShareTheSameAffliction]

The sad part is that it was mainly BLACK men and women tearing Lori down.

[@ChristinaLove844]

I don't get comments like this. She's a BLACK celebrity. Of course it's going to be black people who have the most to say. It's human nature.

[@marie-francoiset9402]

yt ppl don't even know who she is. why should they talk about her? or any other race? mind you i'm not condoning, just pointing out that LH is only relevant to blk ppl

[@kayanclarke5216]

@@ChristinaLove844 But Black “men”? Why any man interested in celebrity relationships? That sounds like bitch shit.

[@fixthatface483]

Yup. But then want to claim to be a “community”. There is no community, just an incessant pool of judgment and hate, especially for black women.

[@nikkiq5124]

I think it also depends on the favorability of the celebrity (which also affects black women too) because I remember Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift getting a lot of flak for serial dating.

[@gwenewing2620]

I was married 8 years. I've been divorced 4 years. I have a different mindset about marriage. I was very happy being married and saying "my husband " but it ended bad because the person I thought I knew showed me who he really was. I would rather have a life partner without the legal paperwork. I'm happier and free to be me and allow who I'm with to be them without expectations. Marriage is not for everyone. You have to know who you are and why you want what you want.

[@monimuppet6132]

Facts. I was married young for a very short time. It ended for pretty much for the same reason you stated and I didn't end up soured on the idea of commitment (like many assume 🙄). I have, however, come to view it outside the social convention and construct that is our current legal marriage practice. I'm a monogamous person so, yes, I need a partner of the same mind. Anyone that thinks they need to be legally lached to me to remain faithful is a no go. I very much believe monogamy is a mindset, only you can keep yourself faithful. If that's not you please just be honest and find yourself a relationship that fits your needs. I hate having my time wasted. I also do not care to fight over material nor children, so I would still want a legal agreement if I was going to cohabitate and/or procreate with someone - so a pre-nup w/o the actual nuptials, lol. Relationships end, I see nothing shameful about having a plan that protects everyone from unnecessary squabbles if it does, especially if kids are involved. It is so very important to know what you want and why, as you said. I don't look at my marriage as a mistake nor failure, it was a relationship that ended, that's all. My feelings were real, I received a beautiful daughter, and I learned a lot.

[@sixteen.candles.4644]

Wow what happened? That scares me. I cant be with someone for that long and it ends. I cant.

[@KP-5928]

@@sixteen.candles.4644 I think it's important to really understand how common this is. people divorce and break up everyday after being together for years and years. i know it sounds scary, but it just is what is it. people change and not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. i am not saying this in a critical way toward you at all as I know many people want to believe that true love lasts forever. it can actually be very empowering to realize that break ups are not a failure, just a life change that happens to most people at some point or another.

[@reyhaakdeniz7765]

Brilliant points raisen! I keep learning from you ❤️😍

[@ebonyjohnson1666]

"Get a life, go outside, touch grass" 😂 Amen

[@prosperousk5477]

Yes misogynoir is a disease. Misogynistic people are mentally ill. The audacity that these people have by trying to dictate how Lori, and other women should live, in order to please men. I don’t understand why won’t they leave women alone. These people are sick!

[@NotAMuse]

‘Go outside, touch grass.’ You’re hilarious Steph!

[@theturnup9671]

Loved the commentary overall. “Go outside touch grass” gave me a good laugh. It’s the good ole double standard with men and women. And she’s black on top of it but I salute her. She’s living her life unbothered and doesn’t need to worry about those with the double standard mentality. I’m pretty sure she’ll be more than fine. As was mentioned all she needs to do is keep serving looks and being silent. No need to address the haters. I’m a fan and will always be a fan. She doesn’t deserve any backlash period.

[@bullitt0713]

I love hearing your thoughts. You would be an amazing talk show host:).

[@KS-rs4ds]

You always manage to say what I'm thinking- glad to see you back on KZbin. In relation to 25 being very young, have you considered doing a reaction to the Netflix show The Ultimatium?

[@AlexaGoldSoul]

I also wanted to comment on your incredible insight in regards to people being afraid to lose in love...I do the things I do for people because I love nurturing folks, giving affection and showing a particular kind of character that feels authentic and loving to me. I don't ever lose being that way, even when I'm showing love to a person who isn't reciprocating. Most people I know, if you've lived long enough, will speak of being in multiple relationships, marriages, and all kinds of intimate situations. In my humble opinion, you never really "lose" or even "win" for that matter - its all experience. We gotta get out of this dejected way of thinking of situations not being worth it because your expectations weren't met. Enjoy the relationship for what it is, work towards the best, and if it doesn't work like you wanted, god willing, you have a chance to try again...

[@thewhitneyofficial]

Men do have to worry about fertility. The quaility of their sperm declines after age 35 and the risks to the mother increases as well as risks to the baby such as deformities, etc.

[@moniqueloomis9772]

You're correct. Unfortunately, men believe that they're forever young and that their sperm is super with no expiration date. The nerve. 😒

[@mrs.aleyajohnson]

Great commentary. You hit the nail on the head. People need to tend to their own relationships and leave other people's relationships alone.

[@zubodospectacular8598]

KZbin recommended this video to me and l agreed with you 100 %, you spoke the truth and factss.

[@Balgees24]

At 34 I wish I kept my opinions open when I was younger, She is 26 I'm glad she not talking and letting the media run their mouth.

[@ForMySoulSistas]

I don't see the problem: dating and engagement are to discover each other, to collect data to see if you want to move forward. So I shall believe she thought this through... Maybe ppl comment so much because they feel like "you had the chance to find a great man and let him go?!" Plus, it's not because ppl are famous that we have the right to put our nose in their personal life...

[@grecianbeauty]

I'm with you on life is short and being a giver, its a beautiful thing ! Exactly it's not about being a loser or winner. U are putting it all so perfectly 👏👏👏👏

[@monis.4382]

Wow, this was an excellent video! Thoroughly enjoyed this!

[@tiannamae007]

I would’ve loved to be a stay at home daughter! 🙌🏾🤣❤️ People just need to stay in their lane and what they know. I’m sure they both enjoyed their time with each other. The expressions of love made sense for where they were in those moments, and now it’s time to move on.

[@leahswenson7776]

Could some of this be coming from a place of jealousy? I know I have made cutting remarks about women because I was purely jealous. Admitting how jealous you are can be really hard so it comes out in a judgemental way often.

[@Heykay34]

The content is superb🤌🏽 so many perspectives to think about.

[@Clauds71]

Hi Stephanie, I loved this commentary 💯 and feel the same way. I guess that’s why I treasure my family and friends for being there for and supporting me 😍. I wish Lori all the best, she’s awesome 👏

[@tyebem8843]

I love your mind. Thank you for this great perspective 👏

[@atlfun08]

Yes. This is greatly appreciated and helps to combat all the hate. My first thought was poor Michael if he really was ready for marriage…it’s tough situation. But then I recalled that she is like so young!! When I was that age…I was no way ready for marriage. Now I’m like…it’s too fast! Red flag. They could have dated for 5 years and had many many many beautiful dates. And for sure now I see these additional points which all remind me how quick people try to judge and how everyone is like in competition to float their egos per usual. 🤣

[@brandi17able]

She is young, no kids… she is not future.. if future didn’t have 7 kids people would say he is the man…the double standard is real, smh

[@rejectionisprotection4448]

I think it's eight now. He's in a race with Nick Cannon.

[@lexxalexus3415]

At this point people are looking for a reason to not like her…. I’m convinced🙄

[@sam_khoury]

“Go outside. Touch grass.” 😂🙌🏼

[@SOupMYSELF]

👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿❤️❤️❤️ to EVERYTHING you said sis. 💓

[@LeeyaMakesNoise]

This is random, I havent even got 10 seconds in, but I just wanna say- I just love seeing your face. haha It literally brightens my day automatically.

[@e.c.1975]

This is more of a gender issue. People been dragging Jlo for the longest because she dates so many people and had multiple divorces. When there are so many male rappers and athletes who are worse. With multiple baby mamas. But let a female celebrity have 8 baby daddies HA! All hell would break loose. It’s just a double standard between the sexes. Idk when this stupid double standard will die, but I think this is why so many females artists are criticized for glorifying being a gold digger or promoting sex. Yet male rappers have been doing this for so long, but nobody criticizes them. Date as many men as you want ladies. There is nothing wrong with that especially if you’re not out here cheating. Who cares??!??

[@tashboog5458]

Team Capricorn checking in. That’s right, strong and *selectively* silent (bc if we talk someone gon get hurt 😌). The men who are mad are mad bc they could neva. And the women who are mad are mad bc they could neva 💅🏾.

[@thembelihleruthndlovu8685]

Hey beautiful, missed you. And love your take on this

[@carableu]

I really enjoy your vids. And this one is extraordinary. Life changing views!

[@Userkvlnk]

I think maybe also, Lori is this "incredibly pretty" lady. Those white ladies are not in this lane. These white ladies are not reigning that "top face, top body, top style, everybody's dream" chart (Coming from a white person) Lori is lady from a very rich family. Lori's family is not like the Kardashians (The Kardashians have always been associated with sex image and party life). Lori is a "Daughter". People fantasize girls from "good", rich, tight families, "beloved daughters". ( It's what people would want for themselves, And they do a psychological projection. Like it's their family and like they are this girl.) People possibly still feel like Lori is 17. People would like to see Lori as a "trophy girlfriend" - See Lori as a Princess, next to a King. The archaic subconscious ideas don't want to see a woman of that caliber (beauty, money, examplary family's daughter)ending relationships (that makes one feel frustrated) . People's subconsciousness wants a Disney "fairy tale movie" with Lori, And right away. From any of her relationships with a normal-looking guy (We don't talk P.Diddy, Future) Maybe Michael B. Jordan has a huge fan following, So possibly they create the major hate :)) As for Ariana Grande, Lady Gaga, Lana Del Ray, Katy Perry, and dating multiple people, Rihanna... - I would suppose, These people's career profile is so high (Everybody's fantasy), They have such a stardom status, That with them, people simply don't dare and don't think to talk about their dating history so much. For people, Ariana, Rihanna.. They are like a "religion" for the world. And they always the "winnners" in public's eye

[@DanielleAbigail]

This is an amazing comment and you hit a na on the head in such a way I've never heard anyone express so well before. You are very articulate! I think your point about the collective unconscious and how people project onto different women differently is really powerful.

[@Userkvlnk]

@@DanielleAbigail This means so much to me! Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart!🙏 I am foreign, So can take time for me, to "switch on my head" right, To be pretty articulate in English.🙂☺️ And in general, with my health, amnesias. It is such a pleasant time, when someone can agree, can feel the same, Can like the wording, perspective. So unique and so beautiful for me🙏🌹 Thank you again! Sometines, You can get comments like it's too much text off points, Or that I don't know about black celebrities...

[@house_of_bouzy4763]

Thank you !!! I could not have said it better myself !!! :)

[@asistar87]

I don’t understand why black women are concerned with Lori at all! She doesn’t look like the average phenotypical black women. She is the preference type. As a dark skin black woman I don’t see myself in her so she i don’t pay her any attention. Our experience will never be the same. All the best to her tho

[@MsLotusBlooms]

Truly, Lori looks like top tier stock. She's fit and fabulous

[@questioningespecialy9107]

15:54 Hearing "touch grass" come out your mouth caused a solid chuckle.

[@BubblyViolin11]

I never understood the whole ‘simp’ perspective. The men accusing MBJ of being a ‘simp’ are the same ones who expect women to be mother, wife, and breadwinner for them while they don’t lift a freaking finger because they feel they ‘bring a lot to the table’ smh…… It’s frankly quite sad. Many Eastern religions encourage their practitioners to give freely and generously in part because it’s the right thing to do, but also because giving joy to others brings more joy into your own life. And having happier communities can also lead to stronger and healthier communities. It’s a win for everyone. But what do I know? Lol 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@dorinisbaldera6392]

I’m glad you used WHITE women as examples cause Latin women most DEFINITELY get judged. Black women ain’t alone when it comes to this. However black men are way more aggressively judgmental towards their own women.

[@florabescansaluers]

I feel some frustration. This is an extremely frustrating topic. Certainly is much worse for black women and my heart goes out to y’all 🤎 people are so afraid to lose in love, to negotiate and change. I’ve found someone I truly love now, but who knows what the future holds. If you want to date or sleep around, that’s your business and try to ignore people who’s opinions are irrelevant. If it’s not your uterus or child, mind your business is my thoughts.

[@yeseniah7373]

I think you are much more in contact with black (social) media and that is why you are so much more aware of the criticism, as it comes mostly from there. Kaley C. was also very criticised in the white media. I guess we all criticise our own and the awareness we have of it depends on the corner of the (media) woods we are in and follow.

[@shachede6828]

The difference it’s white women talking about white women while here it is black men getting pressed about a chicke THEY WILL NEVER HAVE! Very gross. Also I am on social media for all race and no I don’t here the examples she mentioned get criticized like Lori

[@the8thchurch461]

@@shachede6828 Agreed! If there is something creepier than a man attacking a woman, I'd love to hear of it. Disgusting.

[@aries8597]

Who is Kaley C? ( I’ll google her later) Does Kaley C’s criticisms include: - Discussions of why she is the example men of her race should not date women of her race seriously or ever consider them for marriage or even put any financial effort while dating them (ie don’t spend money on dates or romantic gestures) Like BM are saying Lori Harvey is an example of why BM should not date BW or marry them and why BM shouldn’t even bother “going all out” BW. - She is for “the streets” , a”toss up,” a “h*e” (304) - she lost a “good man ” with a job, she dropped the “husband bag” and ruined her chances of ever getting married or finding a man who will care for her like that. - She’s stupid because going to be single and unmarried and she’s going to regret leaving him. - she was never good enough for him anyways she should have been grateful that he even dated her or wanted to marry her, she won’t get another chance? I’ll stop the list there. But I think the commenter above me made a great point. There is an extreme difference here in the degree of hate speech that is spewing from BM’s mouths about their thoughts on Lori and honestly BW in general. Too many are using Lori as an excuse to justify their disdain and mistreatment for BW.

[@cosmicbeauty5682]

@@aries8597 🎯🎯🎯👏👏

[@chisomo8088]

The things people classify as 'having a good time' these days is quite worrisome.