I've been a part of two such groups of girls who would feed off of the attention they recieved, and took great pride in it, also kept score of how many guys have asked them out. I disliked how they treated me like I was the bottom of the barrel ugly fat one in the group. Not to mention all the gossiping they did behind my back about me. It really affected my self esteem and, its been years, but I'm still trying to find a way to heal from it.

I’m over here just letting KZbin play because I’m cleaning my spot . But you are so insightful and I needed to hear this . Thank you for being open and kind

Steph do you want to react to the uk season ot less messy but still odd there 2 couple that i thinks is gonna make it 😅

The last part, Clutch. Reminds me of a match maker/ marriage broker/arranged marriages. I do think those kinds of relationships will start to make a comeback (they are HUGE in South Korea) and reframing that kind of a relationship & starting it from an app instead of a person and seemingly giving the control to the individual is super interesting. I don’t think I would use the app or the professional but I wonder how other people would use it in the coming future.

This woman you mentioned so openly and constantly talking about how she didn't want her baby would have been infuriating to me. How heartbreaking for her child. Also, who would say such things around a friend you know is struggling with their own fertility or options to have a child? Insensitive isn't the word.

I lost two big friendships in my life. I felt very wronged by them and hurt. For a while my pride wouldn’t allow me to mourn them, but I eventually realized that I had to. That even though they wronged me so bad doesn’t mean I was a fool for loving them and that on some level I always will. Ignoring that part prevented healing.

Oh my gawwd! That woman is out of control and legitimately a danger and you were not safe. You should have immediately made plans to leave. She could also have done things like assault, causing a fire or even damaging the house which would have caused financial problems for all. (IF that was what happened and she didn't just have a psychotic break.) It just reminds me that you can never tell what people are really going through by looking at them, wow. Well I'm glad that everyone was ok and it was "just" one hell of a story.

I am a guy. I am the only ugly duck in my friend group/job. My friends are way better looking than me and its not even close. Its hard to go to work knowing that all the girls i am interested in know that i am the ugly one. Sometimes i cry because i feel trapped in the meat suit

I never thought of this side of things. I would usually be the one that's approached. This is really sad I wouldn't even know what to say to a friend that this happens to. I would just drop them because I started getting mistreated by that girl and I sincerely never knew why so I just started only hanging around beautiful girls like me, so that I didn't have to lose average looking friends from their self-esteem and hurt. This was eye opening for me.

i dont understand i think you are conventionally attractive very symmetrical, nice skin, pretty eyes, nice teeth tbh

I think what’s truly toxic about the apps (that I’ve learned first hand) is that it feels really productive to date several people at once and move on quickly to up your numbers and “chances” for love. But realistically focusing on one person at a time, really letting the dates play out and taking time to think about it is probably a healthier way to find someone. Attraction can be a slow burn sometimes! But the realization that you find someone more attractive every time you see them is so beautiful🤩 and usually has more to do with coming to appreciate them as a person and not just their looks and other surface things.

I took my daughter to Disney World for her 10th birthday last year. THE BEST TIME!!! However, 😆 Disney World solo sounds amazing. I can't even lie. Walking at your own pace, eating what you want, stopping when your feet are tired. Yes -- I now know what I'm doing when I drop her off at college in 7 years. 😆😆😆

Met my boyfriend of almost a year now on Hinge! But that’s after TWO YEARS of horrible experiences on Hinge in California. He was the first person I met after I moved away from CA, so maybe it was the app AND the move that helped. But I guess it really is a numbers game- how long you stay on the app, how many people you meet. Even if it’s torture😭 it feels worth it now but I was really going thru it going on first dates twice a week for nearly two years!!

this sounds crazy but this used to happen to me in my early 20s and around 25 i made up this mantra "i am the most beautiful woman in the world and everyone is obsessed with me" lmfao but it weeeeeeeeerked and now i go out and get annoyed when men come up to me bc i wanna be left alone

this is a really lovely discussion about this topic!! i think ill be coming back to this video a couple times :)

Damn I’m so sorry girls! Don’t let this break you down, there is so much more than attention from men! Finding a quality guy > attention from a bunch of men.

Stephanie, you are such a beautiful soul!!! I am so grateful that you’re sharing your story with others because there are SO MANY women who wholeheartedly identify with you. Thank you so much for using your platform to speak up on this. You’re doing God’s work. Thank you a million times.

I didn’t realize you were a teacher! I’ve seen your more recent videos and then you fell out of my algorithm. I guess because I’m watching a lot of back to school content and returning to the classroom after 3 years this video is fitting❤

I think it’s very important to mention that this experience depends A LOT on the social circles you are in. I’m saying that as someone who has experienced being the attractive girl and the unattractive girl in different scenarios. For context, my face is cute enough, and my body is skinny with a big bust. Until recently I thought I was really unattractive because I’m not curvy. I have this curvy friend that when I’m out with her guys ALWAYS talk to her and ignore me like I am not even there. When I go out by myself, though, I get approached by many guys and I get many looks (usually guys that are near their 30s- already had formed their preferences before the big butt trend came out, I’m 22 for reference). It’s SO WEIRD to experience both of this. And honestly? If you’re out with a friend and haven’t gone out purposefully to flirt with guys, I find it rude for them to ignore you when a guy comes up.

We as women need to stop this obsession that a man is going to fill up our lives. It's natural I know... Ive been there and am there! But these women we see where "everything works out" - I've felt that, and then many times 5/10 years later they are divorced and the whole thing was toxic. Marriage or a man doesn't = perfect life. Another woman had it all, amazing husband 3 kids and then her youngest kid died at age 4 and she lives in pain and devastation. These things dont make a single woman's situation better but honestly it opens one's eyes to the realities of life and this idea that once we meet "our person" our lives have purpose and happiness.

Every woman I know, and they are all sweet, loving, attractive women, have tried for years to settle down with men. The story has always been the same: the man is "not ready" bla bla bla. So to the men saying why dont women prioritize having kids and marriage in their 20s... with who do you mean exactly? Just have sex with some rando to have a kid and be a single mom? Have a relationship with the wall? Take a good look at yourselves and check why y'all are so scared of committing to 1 woman.

I find it strange that women talk about this experience like it's any different to the lack interest a lot of men get, especially when they're ugly. The issue is that women believe most men experience rejection because it was somehow the mans fault, i.e. crossing boundaries, being rude or vulgar etc. but believe women are rejected because they're being purposefully dehumanized by a patriarchal standard of beauty that doesn't see them as valuable. The latter maybe true in some cases sure, but women have been telling men for the longest time they should just get over it and women don't owe them their bodies, time or acknowledgment so why should you be awarded the same? It's common courtesy to just say hi and maybe banter with the friend a bit but As the man, I'm already putting myself out there and approaching a group of women, I have said hi to everyone and introduced myself, so why would it then be an issue to then focus on the person of interest? If Women don't owe men anything when it comes to this stuff, which is completely true, why do men owe you that? As for the whole women handle rejection better than men? I have rejected women and been berated, called slurs and had my sexuality questioned so no it really isn't much better on that end either.

Too relatable i started crying 😭 Lol I've never been approached irl i get attention only online and having friends who are literally drop dead gorgeous model level pretty only makes it worse

This is why i think beautiful attractive women should NEVER give chance to unattractive men. The audacity that comes when they act as if they're the prize and doing you a favor. Dont fall for the "he's a nice guy" trick and i should give him a chance because i'm not superficial blah blah blah...

so well phrased

"They try to make it work, rather than leaving them". Oh, but I thought that women got divorced for trivial reasons.

Blame the women who rage and rant at men for simply glancing at them across the room. Blame the gym-bait narcissists who make videos blowing up on dudes just walking by or asking how many sets they have left. And blame YOURSELVES for always making men do ALL of the work in initiating conversation. My dude friends are pretty much all 8/10 or higher, and not a single one has ever been approached by a girl. Ever. We do everything to get the ball rolling, and most of us have experienced at LEAST one girl freak the fuck out on us for just having a conversation, causing a massive scene, I’ve seen men get thrown out of bars for offering to buy a drink because of women like this. No fuckin shit we hate approaching. 1/20 has the chance to wind up like that. We’re done being your doormats.

Crying to yourself IS DOING NOTHING ABOUT IT, its crazy that you never realized it

When I was younger there was a man from egypt that invited me to turkey, did I go? Hell No! How do you know that they are not going to have fixed marridge you will be forced into when you arriwe? Also I did not in general accept drinks from men because I always figure if you accept they think you owe them you know what, so even if it might be true that attractive people are offered stuff I don't think it's in my best interesst to accept. I had a friend who helped me out well for free I did not have money but I thought I repay him back later by making dinner occasionally well I could not repay him because he expected... they don't even tell you, you can think you are friends but then they start treating you like someone who sells a type of services. In my experience I think it mostly attracted problems but I'm a bit older now so it's much calmer now finally on that department.

You really suit the braids you have at the start of this video! 😊

Bro should’ve mewed 💀

As women, we mostly can select from those who select us first (in a marriage capacity) by and large. Sure, some women can propose and the man says yes, but that is not the norm. It is mostly the power to say no to those who propose, not the agency to select whom to propose to.

I was surprised this video was by you! You look amazing. I missed your videos on dating. I felt so alone until I saw your videos. You're my comfort youtuber. What you say is what I think! One thing I think about is how much value I bring to the world even if I don't have a husband. And I think, you bring so much value to thousands, hundreds of thousands of people. That means so much.

This is my ideal 😌 Leave me alone. Especially dusties.

Love your content Steph❤👑

People hate the idea of luck. They hate that we get lucky or unlucky in all kind of ways. We get lucky when it comes to who our parents are, what are body/face attraction is, what friends we had or didn't had, all the things that get the snowball of life rolling. And then all the luck after that as well. We can hold both of these things as true, some people get lucky, some people make their luck, some people try to make their luck and get unlucky and fail...and on and on

The first girl wasn’t even nowhere near unattractive I don’t get it I’ve seen girls pull guys who I didn’t think was beautiful but got a lot of male attention I never really truly understand the game of dating

I resonate with this so much! Im 27 years old, I believe I have a great personality and that I’m pretty. Although I’ve never been in a relationship, my dating life sucks, it SO easy for me to make friends yet the romantic aspect is so silent… I give up at this point

I’m a guy but regarding the ‘men don’t approach in public as much’ topic around 33:00, I went ~10 years in clubs and bars without ever learning about the glance -> glance + smile tactic that many women do and many men look for in bars. Basically, many women will glance at you across the room, make eye contact for a second, then look away, and then look back at you with a quick smile again, and that is an invitation to talk to them. I was in a long term relationship for most of my twenties and at 31, never knew this was a thing in 11 years of going to bars and now I see it being done to me semi often. If you want men to come up to you more, in any setting, doing this will 100% increase the frequency, and it is also NOT making the first move as a woman, but rather encouraging specific men that you’re interested in to make the first move.

Girl, get in the group chat! Where are you???? Press like if you need to be rescued. Miss you!🤎

I live in Austin. If you have yt skin, it’s easy to even get married here😂😂😂