The Internet's Most Obvious Lies

[@addisonshaw4012]

How to find out someone is lying: 1. Clapping 2. Doug 3. Watermelon in a seatbelt

[@LukeBridger]

I just love the doug there 😂. Like they don't exist 😂

[@blueblu756]

@@LukeBridger Because Doug doesn't exist.

[@devynmarie2532]

my grandpas name is doug-

[@blueblu756]

@@devynmarie2532 What grandpa? Doug doesn’t exist

[@isimpforstalljimmy]

@@devynmarie2532 my uncle's name is Doug. I guess neither of them exist-

[@elietteculyer3489]

One time a robber came into my house, he painted a gun at me and said “at the end of this gun is someone who’s about to die” I sat and smiled and replied with “which end are you referring too” he seemed shocked so he shot himself on the spot! I’m pretty sure the whole jury applauded me!!!😂😂

[@link12click]

bro same except i shot myself

[@link12click]

wait

[@elietteculyer3489]

diorite 😧

[@elietteculyer3489]

Good Dog yes an artist

[@elietteculyer3489]

Dozzy T yep

[@Alice-ib4cz]

Floor? Peed on. Teacher? Enraged. Clapping? Slow.

[@bakugoukatsuki8584]

Hotel? Trivago.

[@itsprobablycris1085]

Black face? White people.

[@harrytomlinson5438]

Doug? non-existent

[@soha3235]

TikTok? NoMore

[@sugasarmyyy7437]

Bakugou Katsuki I knew that was coming...

[@hussein_bdn]

"A teacher would never call you an idiot" is the most Canadian thing Kurtis has ever said.

[@doby8544]

"a teacher would call you an idiot" is the most American thing anyone has ever said

[@totallyreyalfactsfsfs]

​@@doby8544 no I think complaining about healthcare prices is the most American thing anyone's ever said.

[@doby8544]

@@totallyreyalfactsfsfs doing school shooting drills is a close second

[@imana.i8242]

My teacher called me retarded once. shes not wrong.

[@doby8544]

@@imana.i8242 got damn 😭 doesnt feel like that should be allowed

[@samiam4616]

I knew a friend named Douglass, he changed his name to Doug and immediately stopped existing. Everyone around started applauding.

[@user-oj7np2ej1z]

You've gone this long without a comment, I think you deserve at least one lol

[@icepotato6158]

@@user-oj7np2ej1z how do you know this

[@user-oj7np2ej1z]

@@icepotato6158 I know all

[@mysteryname6792]

Well that's rude

[@pretty948]

I was there it really happened

[@radiotelevision2371]

When I was 6, I told all of my friends I was pregnant. Then they all started clapping

[@justjulie1113]

@The toy crew WHATTTT LMAOOO

[@SlightMishap]

oh god this actually fucking happened to me i am a guy

[@amalia9285]

i wanna like this but ur at 69 and i don’t wanna ruin it so i’m leaving this comment

[@sunflower8227]

@The toy crew LAMOOOOOO WHAT

[@3starsburningbright]

I did actually say I was pregnant when I was 7 because I saw someone else do it in Roblox 💀

[@TheMangomelon789]

If you're so high you can't tell what a stop sign is, you *definitely* shouldn't be driving.

[@victoriachristina1]

BUT at least they stopped

[@bethlamb3286]

For an hour and a half 🙄 yeah cause there's no other traffic or cops in that town and that definitely happened 🙄

[@pretty948]

Beth Lamb the dude lived in a fucking village

[@dakotadad8835]

Or smoke weed... at all

[@camdenjennings398]

Yeah I’ve been there before. It wasn’t for an hour though

[@elijahhowe1815]

One time I was at a target and a customer called me a scallywag. I then stole 10 million dollars worth of their personal items.

[@abandoned_account_6712]

down in ohio

[@apteryx496]

You aren't funny stfu

[@project_letters]

I laughed too hard at the idea of someone actually being offended by being called a scallywag

[@Star0gaze]

​@@project_letters It has the same energy as getting offended because you got called a city slicker

[@tinntinnamp]

You stood true to yer name, ye ol' scallywag! (I have no money)

[@nickh.8275]

You know they’re lying because they narrate everything the same way they write crappy fiction on Wattpad.

[@alexiaatheducc]

Nick H. yes exactlyyyy

[@purplecatloverrandompizza]

I got to be 1k like, also true

[@thegoods7011]

truuuuuu

[@lofihip-hop5834]

And they always end it with someone clapping...

[@treebeaver3921]

If you roast anyone at school or on the bus the kids don’t clap they go “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH”

[@nataliehinds5797]

Treebeaver this is actually the most eaccurate thing ever

[@sopranos8961]

Treebeaver yeah

[@arandomuser9459]

Yeah.

[@CaseyShontz]

Treebeaver that would’ve made this story much more realistic

[@bbaby7102]

Exactly

[@caleighhhhh67]

Once, I was at Starbucks getting my iced coffee when a rude teenage girl told the worker to hurry up. I told that girl that she was a mistake and then took a gallon of skim milk and dumped it on her head. Out of embarrassment, she straight up evaporated. The entirety of the universe applauded and praised me for my bravery! Oh and did I mention, I’m a female!!! Everyone in the Starbucks DEMANDED that I become the new face for the Starbucks logo. And that’s how I became the governor of Uranus.

[@Tinawarue]

😂😂😂😂

[@darienodette]

Underrated comment

[@olivias2075]

I only liked your comment because of your awesome pfp and immaculate taste in musicals. *chefs kiss*

[@st4nley]

Olivia S stephanie Hsu is underrated 😤💅🏻

[@ryanshoaff5471]

I assume you've invested in a SQUIP then

[@garfgif]

Unfortunately teachers get away with directly insulting the kids - I am autistic and in secondary school one of my teachers bullied me (like tried to get other kids to make fun of me) and called me stupid multiple times in her class and the school did nothing when my mother called them about it - she stopped teaching our class but she didn’t lose any of her other classes and she’s still teaching my kid brother to this day.

[@Gregariousness1]

Same man, our LA teacher is bullying the kids with ADHD. We reported it to the principal and he said if it’s a repeated behaviour he could be fired by the end of the year

[@kiporaan]

I had a similar thing happening and she didn’t know I was autistic, I was just too weird for her and she probably still works today It sucks but all we can do is acknowledge our own worth and distancing ourselves from their rotten brains, if you let any of them get to you it’s over, they are enemies because they chose to be so don’t feel remorse

[@miya_hopper2116]

As someone with autism and adhd ( and hey, even without this, let's be real. Some teachers are like this) every teacher I had at least at the beginning of the year would call me stupid and single me out just because I didn't understand things. Undiagnosed for 20 years until recently, so as you could imagine, I simply was just treated like I was dumb. My parents always had to in the beginning of the year talk to the teachers as this was a constant thing.

[@miya_hopper2116]

Not to mention, one of my teachers was a p*dophile and did weird things to female students. I was an acception, but so many girls were uncomfortable but like he HATED the boys, especially if one dated one of the girls he often harassed. I was too young to understand this at the time, but like years later, he was fired, thank God. But idk if anything else happened.

[@nomiedezdez9256]

Yeah my sister was severely bullied in elementary school and only had one friend, the autistic kid who was also severely bullied. Their 6th grade teacher continuously told them they were responsible for being bullied and if they would just act like everyone else it wouldn’t happen, and would fail their assignments and make their life harder just because she could. My mom got us out of that town after that year cause it was just insufferable

[@joeebiden_]

FINE i'll just greet myself.

[@letmetakeajormungandrattha8591]

*whispers* _underrated comment_

[@ven4762]

*starts clapping slowly*

[@grohl1690]

Shut fuck

[@carlbeethoven5682]

@Sure, my bad, u were talking to Minty. I thought u said u don't understand the joke.

[@theblackguyfromallstate9901]

Sure original commenter’s username

[@pheebobeebo1459]

that one girl really said "I guess I'll just piss on the floor" she was makin' it stinky

[@ajdeupickumaterinu]

Yooooo💀

[@cosmic5471]

Oooo fish in the mouth

[@j.l.j.7314]

GOAT STORY LMAO-

[@emmacurran1240]

FISHY FISHY FISHY MAKIN IT STINKY

[@julzmaxwell5366]

🐐

[@dionysusfilms165]

all the clapping makes me think that all those lies were written by bitter theater kids

[@Samisnotavailable]

This is an extremely underrated comment 😂

[@R3DPharaoh]

or band kids lol

[@darienodette]

Fr though like clapping doesn't happen in real life, it only happens with theatre kids lol

[@Pigengy]

As a self-aware theater kid, I support this message.

[@dionysusfilms165]

@@Pigengy thank you good sir I am one as well

[@yvrsy9999]

Once, Billie Eillish was walking down the street, then she saw a little boy. He said to her "I want to persuade my dreams but my parents aren't allowing me to" Billie frowned and replied "Do whatever you want kid. Be brave. Stand up to them". And that little boy was Danny Devito

[@ree1425]

the fact that you said persuade instead of pursue makes this ten times funnier

[@yumdisc]

"I smoked 5 blunts" ok you're done, just stop typing

[@destroyakira]

@Manda the most I've smoked was three but not in a rowb

[@mariaguerra1817]

Fr doe. That doesnt happen 😂 you would be fuckin greened out if you did them all at once.

[@cyborgqueer]

Maria Guerra nah, i smoke that easily

[@mariaguerra1817]

@@cyborgqueer fr?

[@wkdwflp]

Cyborg Rhys but alone? Cause like in a group we be smoking many on a day but all alone? That shit be hittin different lmao

[@alyssaashcroft2285]

This video was so funny that I actually went on America’s got talent and played it on the projector for everyone to see. The whole audience and even the judges clapped.

[@wcskeleton1388]

OMG! I was there! I was the guy who peed on the ground, haha, the world is a small place hehe

[@mirillis6083]

Oh cool I remember watching that on tv, while there was a hurricane and it tore off my roof, and my family stood up and clapped

[@daniela6287]

Dude I was there I was the one peeing in the sink.

[@EatFrozenPlastic]

Oh I think I was there too I was doug

[@evelinab2966]

I enjoyed judging the video! Great content *slow clap*

[@issybather]

The stop sign one lowkey shouldn’t be a flex. If you’re that high you seriously shouldn’t be on the roads

[@kingayy9267]

It (probably) didn't happen so rest easy, little goose

[@baileyparker8321]

I admire your pfp.

[@illegalwaffel6435]

@@kingayy9267 it very well could of.. besides the whole waiting there for a hour cause that part is bullshit but when I was a teen and drove high on weed there was a few times I'd catch myself waiting for a stop sign to turn green but it was only for like 15-20 seconds until I realised

[@themusicaljunkie37]

That dude wasn't smoking weed.... lol

[@ashywashy2005]

"I smoked five blunts" nobody would say it like that lmao it sounds so awkward

[@melt3563]

Not only did teachers at my school regularly call us stupid, but there were also multiple occasions when I ended up throwing up in the class trash can when I was not allowed to go to the bathroom. At least nobody clapped though

[@pennyfrompapaspizzeria580]

How to spot a lie: “and they started clapping”

[@molk2]

PENNY? IS THAT REALLY YOU?!!

[@Bella-gq6uy]

*telling my parents i’m straight* *everyone starts clapping*

[@Kiley713]

I had an irl then everybody clapped and it’s such a good story but I know nobody will ever believe me

[@pennyfrompapaspizzeria580]

@@Kiley713 that must be so frustrating omg😂

[@pennyfrompapaspizzeria580]

@Zev Deaner I’m not gay and they started clapping

[@mercurials]

Draco Malfoy’s lesser-known twin brother, Doug Malfoy

[@bangchanswebbrowsinghistor5145]

hahaahaha

[@benis666]

uhhh I think I'm at the wrong party..

[@bellamarie5662]

I laughed at this for way too long

[@braedencross5782]

Drugged moldboy

[@Chaotic_Observer]

Lmao

[@kayleecaca]

*"I was so high I forgot I had to hold my butthole closed or else poo would fall out"* I never thought I'd hear anyone say that sentence, but here we are...

[@lizmaryf7892]

That actually happened kzbin.info/www/bejne/moLaZapvjMyLmbM

[@nicolebry]

Lizmary Sucks dang I clicked it

[@Distorted_Toaster]

@@lizmaryf7892 that moment when i dumb

[@thedudeguy121]

It’s worded wrong but it is a legitimate fear if you’re high enough. Not that I would know 👀

[@willowavery6334]

Lizmary Sucks SHIT

[@freya6921]

Kurtis: teachers don’t call you idiots! My French teacher who called someone a disappointment and a mistake because he wore a hat in class:

[@veryferalthing]

that's so in character for a french teacher

[@tabbykat8564]

does every french teacher have a thing about hats??? my french teacher used to go OFF about hats it was so weird

[@brady5006]

Hé, ton professeur n'a pas dit . Mdr. 😂

[@kiporaan]

Si je m’attendais à voir un com français! Alors je me permets de poser une question : vous réagissez comment si vous voyez une prof appeler une élève "connasse" et lui dire qu’elle est incapable? Ou quand une autre prof fait des commentaires déplacés sur l’apparence et invite les élèves à s’y joindre? Vraiment je suis curieux (posez pas de questions sur le genre svp merci) et j’ai rarement vu une réaction normale, les gens avaient plutôt l’air d’être d’accord :/

[@ghost_inthewire]

my science teacher who called this kid who didn’t know where his class was a pathetic specimen of a person:

[@saltmonster8549]

one time i met zendaya at hooters and and we started to talk to each other when we ran into lady gaga and she started screaming at zendaya that she was italian and zendaya argued back that’s she wasn’t and they started repeatedly stabbing each other when i pulled them apart and then everyone at hooters immediately started clapping and that’s how we became a throuple.

[@britsprs8044]

yeah❤️

[@chxrry4357]

this sounds like a dream that i would have

[@clairefazel8470]

@@chxrry4357 except soos from gravity falls would be a half vampire half penguin man and woudk be dancing in the jury

[@shaylinsimmons]

That’s AWESOME! Good for you dude! ....................wait

[@reallyyfunny0o048]

I hate it when lady gaga starts a fuss with two other people at hooters😢

[@katesart4528]

When I was younger I jumped off a cliff and Justin Bieber was at the bottom and catched me, everyone around started applauding until I pointed a ruler at him and we ended up getting a divorce. I will never jump off a cliff again

[@NunayahBuisness]

I remember... I was the first one who started slowly clapping

[@dxvilera]

Thats true i was the ruler

[@afooz]

I remember you, I was the divorce lawyer

[@cherrybomber3328]

Ah yes I was the cliff

[@Jessie-rx1rr]

I remember …..I was Justin bieber..

[@poffydaisy5134]

Nobody: People in these stories: 👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@fixtureofthesun]

just like this cake

[@emma-hi8mg]

HAHA FR

[@jackthomas1448]

emma, shut it.

[@elijahmohan5824]

Daisy Animations 👏👏👏👏👏 well done! 👏👏👏👏👏👏 u commented a funny comment 👏👏👏👏🤩🤩

[@hannahweiss8399]

Daisy Animations no it would be 👏 👏. 👏. 👏. 👏. 👏. 👏. 👏. 👏. 👏. 👏. 👏. 👏. 👏. 👏

[@taitia8619]

No joke though, my aunt has a habit of telling these super overblown stories all the time, and she always mentions people applauding her. It's like a _thing_ when you're telling fake stories, apparently.

[@EatFrozenPlastic]

This reminded me of the time I was in kindergarten and my teacher told me “at the end of this block is an idiot” and then I said “well what end your holding the block?” and then the teacher went and took a pee in the corner and all the other children clapped and then my father Doug came to pick me up and I became the principle of the school

[@bruhe8895]

*3 headed 2 faced teacher

[@meredithreaves2769]

It was true I was Doug

[@jacobharley9381]

I bet $20 this happened

[@ztetablet7033]

This is gold

[@emilysamanta8022]

can confirm, i was the block.

[@lw1346]

I thought this video was funny, so I played it over my school's intercom. The teachers got so mad, and all my classmates started clapping.

[@Sokkaeatspeople]

Lillian Wanisko Lmao, I get it

[@nico-ke1nn]

wow totally happened man killer Story

[@Sarah-nx2ok]

Same thing happened to me

[@notsympfunny]

slow clapping

[@Medeinathetrashcan334]

Omg same u herooo

[@itissaya4358]

This one time I was at the mall, and a employee there said “at the end of this shirt is an idiot” and I said “your wearing the shirt” because he was wearing the same shirt! Then the employee ran out of the mall and ended up getting arrested and fired for stealing potatoes. I walked back into mall and everyone slow clapped and I became the CEO of the mall.

[@itissaya4358]

Carol_Likes_Dem_ Books no actually it’s called “we clowns” but I don’t think liar town is that far away from there

[@itissaya4358]

Carol_Likes_Dem_ Books it’s okay, nice tho. I have like 69 grandmas so I know what you mean. All of their names are bobeth. And hey I know a Doug now! Or like 5...

[@ahu9150]

My friend Doug was there! Sadly he got abducted by the potato army and died. R.I.P Doug.

[@ahu9150]

@Carol_Likes_Dem_ Books no I think you got mixed up with my other friend Caleb. he was in Clowns like potatoes!

[@ahu9150]

@Carol_Likes_Dem_ Books yeshhh. i love their facetime store! I got amazing eyes from there!

[@darrendarryl904]

"A teacher would never call you an idiot" my art teacher was talking to the students and one of them said "I wanna be an artist" and she looked her right in the eyes and said "Just give up." She changed subjects

[@yourstrulymadi1128]

so no second greeting? *slams phone on ground and snaps skateboard*

[@heylol9166]

one time i actually was skateboarding and it was a brand new skateboard so i did an ollie and it literally snapped itn half and my leg fell on top of one of the wood chips and it went inside my skin so i had to have surgery and now im in a wheelchair and will never have the ability to walk again 🤣🤣 crazy right 🤣🤣😫😫👏😜😜😀💞💞🙄🙄👭🔫🔫😐🤣🤣😀😀😔😫🙄😭

[@bethlamb3286]

@@heylol9166 weird yet sad flex bro

[@heylol9166]

@@bethlamb3286 😭😭

[@heylol9166]

@@bethlamb3286 😢😢

[@oh-ohstinky5819]

@@heylol9166 ok

[@dracallimirari3791]

Kurtis: “a teacher would never call you an idiot.” Oh Kurtis. You haven’t seen the American public school system.

[@ziarutkowski4566]

Same but in South Africa

[@karena4684]

dang what school do you go to cause i have never once been called an idiot by a teacher, nor have they never made me feel inferior in any way

[@Alex-tu4zr]

Yeah all my teachers are awesome

[@milkeyway7105]

Yeah my elementary school teacher called my friend an idiot, but in my native language. People have to realize that not every teachers are your saviour, some of them also fucked up

[@forksntorches3587]

Y'all haven't seen Russian schools

[@libbyfemenella1308]

Ima start clapping after a random person does something so that if they try to share it online everyone will think they’re lying

[@UFOCookieZoom]

Evil... I love it. Eager to see your next plans leading up to taking over the tri-state area.

[@mysteryname6792]

I am going to try this. And then find the post and laugh at the comments without telling people that it's true.

[@rzindler]

You don't already do this?

[@ajdeupickumaterinu]

And if you find their post you can say "it's true, I was the guy who clapped" and everyone will still think you're joking

[@kanyegraduation]

theres 666 likes and i will not ruin it. have a good day

[@charlottemartyr]

Also had something similar to the first story in high school but it was a lot more boring and sad; we had a girl who asked to go to the bathroom several times but kept being told no. She she started to look like, panicked and in pain and got more desperate before eventually she actually peed her pants. She was really embarrassed and started crying. The teacher was horrified and immediately sent her out of the room, the whole class just sat in a stunned awkward silence. That girl transferred classes and the teacher never refused a kid who needed to go to the bathroom again. That is how that situation goes in reality.

[@fluuufffffy1514]

Or, if you're me, you ask and get denied and then run out anyway (because it's an emergency) and then get in-school suspension 🫤

[@CasualPearls]

I'm going to clap when someone says something mildly interesting so when they try to tell other people "then this girl clapped" it will be immediately seen as false.

[@ne9599]

Hah

[@user-fi7jp1rp9l]

Paige Renaud I just clap randomly like if I’m bored or if my teacher finishes talking. Once my friend was like singing in class so I started clapping😂

[@GiaBird-The-Jumin-Han-Lover]

thats something thats been on my bucket list for a year or so at this point. no progress so far.

[@gasolinesleeve3396]

R/madlads

[@hystericallover5989]

Peter Parker r/foundthemobileuser

[@missRachelElizabethA]

“Also I slept with her boyfriend” should be added to the end of every lie.

[@entropy5590]

It already is

[@anemoia3154]

i’m gonna do that now thanks

[@quillology]

I did my homework. Also I slept with her boyfriend.

[@ayoooowerllyouthere5556]

My dad told me I was related to the king, also I slept with her boyfriend

[@quillology]

Yeah so then this female dolphin came up and ate my dad whole. Also I slept with her boyfriend

[@maddigotnojams1964]

*WHERE’S MY EXTRA GREETING?!* This is why I have trust issues.

[@monsedorantes3618]

Madison Nelson yep

[@livvyloo8560]

Lmaoo

[@neveenhaidar]

Madison Nelson *slow claps *

[@kaluca]

I know a guy named Doug and that is exactly something he would say, he's really into the "punk" culture and if he sees someone that dresses "punk" he is the type to challenge them with a question like that, he has no filters.

[@bunnigrrl]

"Doug isnt real" My grandpa: "am I a joke to you?"

[@links163]

I dated a guy named Doug 😅

[@emilytustin4540]

My uncles name is Doug and my dads middle name is Douglas. Hah

[@DjVader112]

And isn't nostalgia critics name doug?

[@XanderTehNoob]

My grandfather has the same name haha

[@avaralph515]

My school janitor: am I a joke to you

[@cheetosoop736]

girl: *pisses on the floor* teacher: oh im ENRAGED

[@xinhh3093]

enraged is a funny word

[@olivia_vermast]

Grassy it is

[@lexi-rb9cs]

something like that actually happened in a class a couple years ago but no one clapped and the chick pissed in the trash

[@lillyhasund1846]

My teatcher would be in shock 😂

[@lillyhasund1846]

@@lexi-rb9cs that's how to get popular C:

[@idkamanda_7088]

so I was in a concert. When the concert ended i was about to leave. Then everybody clapped.

[@ef4253]

Hello _Storm stormy r/thathappened

[@jojoanimated7314]

why did I laugh

[@ann72829]

EdieLouise r/wooosh

[@ekaterinakryukovskaya8161]

Hello _Storm stormy i’m confused

[@ice-creamandchocolatesforl1965]

I don't understand this?

[@bleachsipper2000]

man i wish i had canadian teachers, mine constantly made me cry and humiliated me in front of my classmates. it wasn’t because i wasn’t a top student, or i didn’t play sports, or i was a rule breaker, or i wasn’t involved in the school. i excelled in my classes, won multiple awards, and played sports regularly. the whole reason they hated me so much was because i was autistic.

[@MaryamMaqdisi]

Same. I hope things are better now, bless you

[@isabellafurlong8767]

I DIDN’T GET AN EXTRA GREETING. 😤

[@rubberandgum4203]

EXTRA GREETING DIDN'T EXIST AT THIS TIME DOUG

[@toadsalad]

Yknow,I was gonna like ur comment but the no. is perfect

[@prada4bratz]

@@rubberandgum4203 fr 😭

[@inkheart01]

:( I WANT AN APOLOGY

[@rubberandgum4203]

Carmen by lana but no one likes her M just kidding ofc darling ❤️😂

[@sappho5824]

"doug isn't a real name" my neighbor from across the street: *adios*

[@charlottedarling1257]

my ex's stepdad: *Au revoir*

[@madelynsuiter361]

My dads best friend: sayonara

[@cugu7562]

The local ice cream shop man: ✌

[@leahjk97]

my neighbor is also named doug I think it’s just a name that only belongs to neighbors

[@alicebethell8069]

My grandfather: evaporates

[@daisy9858]

I feel like some of the “I said _____ and everybody clapped” people may have actually said whatever they claimed to, but got weird looks/made fun of/ignored and so they post it with a different reaction in an attempt to get validation and make themselves feel like what they said actually made sense or wasn’t pretentious :/

[@bragtime1052]

Can confirm, I was the _____

[@Max-cr4zf]

Yeah i can confirm the is true also, i was I made this joke at like 4 in the morning didnt notice i copied him dont hate me

[@floppagaming8469]

i said bruh and everybody clapped

[@DreemyDreemz]

Exactly what I thought

[@natalieconravey4432]

op was the one who pissed on the floor but everyone started bullying her for it so she made that post

[@Angelnloel]

almost every time my sister drives me home from work she waits for this one stop sign to turn green, and every time we both laugh cause for some reason she never realizes. it’s only that one sign too (although there are other stop signs on our route) she’s only waited a few minutes at most before realizing & to be fair we work night shift so we’re both out of it after work but yeah waiting an hour & a half is a bit much 💀

[@MarbleMcGee656]

Kurtis: Do you know a Doug? Me: Yes Kurtis: No you don't Me: No I don't

[@kateemma22]

Everyone in the world slow clapped.

[@izarheriotza5315]

I actually do he's a teacher I know

[@izarheriotza5315]

@Emmons Lauren for once in my life I'm pretty certain

[@DintleTV]

my uncle names is doug

[@izarheriotza5315]

@@DintleTV I believe you

[@emmanorfleet941]

Where is my e x t r a g r e e t i n g Kurtis?

[@arieltoohey1052]

Emma Norfleet lol WHEREEE

[@koolkat-hq5xc]

He had to sacrifice the extra greeting in order to show us his dog's haircut

[@lauraguzman3617]

This comment radiates ominous energy

[@olivia_vermast]

your creepy emo cousin honestly, worth it

[@RozyPoyo]

Reminds me of gorefield: where is my lasagna J O N.

[@brooklyn1167]

My first words were the whole *Declaration of Independence* Edit: TYSM for 3.1k!

[@doodlenoodle7269]

**Everyone at the daycare started clapping**

[@treebeaver3921]

My first words were every language known to man

[@eleanafischer8527]

Mine were: *“Way to go, Paul.”*

[@farrahfavorov6303]

c 🐱🌸🥚⛳️🪕🩰🚀💾📈🈶↩️💭🟧🇦🇶🇧🇪🎌🇿🇼

[@julianvillafan8394]

*Everyone slowly starts to clap*

[@kristinrad]

Man, what this teaches me is I need to clap any time anyone looks smug. No one will ever believe them.

[@blackwillow482]

Once I was going through a McDonald's drive through and the person in front of me started screaming at the employee because she wasn't accepting her expired coupon. I jumped out of my car and flipped hers onto it's side and she jumped out of the car begging on her knees for mercy as I lifted the car up into the air. Everyone in the drive through was clapping, and everyone in the Kohl's next to the McDonald's, and the clapping spread throughout the entire block, and the next, through the city, the whole county, and then whole state was clapping and cheering for me. I got ten free burgers and eighteen large fries and a coupon that lets me get endless free food at McDonald's. The mayor of the city resigned for me and I became the mayor, but the king of the universe decided I deserved more than that. It was too much stress though, so I just decided to keep my superstrength and continue my humble life. This is the story of how I became the king of the whole universe, and the strongest woman of all time

[@chasejames1323]

*slow claps*

[@gh0stlol387]

😭 so beautiful ❤️❤️❤️ *śŁöw çŁãpsš*

[@clairefazel8470]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@a.tapes_]

this isnt very believable.. i've never seen a mcdonalds next to a kohls :/ pretty sus to me

[@violetpuddins]

Black Willow Are you sharing that McDonald’s tho

[@gianluca6773]

Honestly the pee one happened to me. The teacher wouldnt let him go to the bathroom so he went in the corner and peed in an empty water bottle. We didnt clap tho

[@Zombieslayer0044]

Gianluca imagine a girl doing that tho

[@ohno4865]

@@Zombieslayer0044 nah I'd rather not

[@daydreeeem]

Same in 7th grade, this kid peed in the trash can because our teacher didn’t let him go to the bathroom

[@thedarkoverlordofall]

At my high school, a girl changed her bloody tampon in the middle of a test bc the teacher wouldn’t let her go to the classroom-no clapping though

[@lordfrog7549]

You mean "we didnt clapped tho, we applauded"

[@kzuruo8257]

kurtis: do you know a doug? me: yeah, my friend's dad's name is do- kurtis: *YOU DON'T*

[@1dentity263]

eth.erealhowell my uncles name is doug

[@chiacheese6195]

@@1dentity263 no

[@mydudes5124]

same lol

[@ramonatobey685]

i know a doug

[@allyjazz9760]

I know! hahaha I was like "...my dad?" and he was like "NO" haha it's just more of an older name I guess like ronald or tony or something.

[@shaykireas]

“A teacher would never call anyone an idiot!” Meanwhile me having flashbacks to the 8th grade where my science teacher pulled me aside and said “continue with the quality of work you’re giving me, you’ll never make it past high school.” I was trying my best dawg I just hated science 😭🙏

[@xxxmelanietpstauber1183]

....whERES MY EXTRA GREETING _...it’s what i live for_

[@danyelluh]

he didn't do it back then.

[@ThanosThighsTho]

@@danyelluh oof yea he did

[@semiscreen5130]

omg I love your username! Melanie Martinez, TØP, and Jack Stauber?!! such good taste in music :')

[@Fireburner-sr2pm]

True

[@controversialuser7811]

a l i n a its called edgy usernames!

[@amparoohoo3532]

I swear, when I was in middle school, my teacher hated me so when we went on a field trip to a museum, she turned into a she-demon and tried to murder me. Then, I slayed her with a magic sword. Everyone started clapping, it was so cool.

[@amparoohoo3532]

@HopefulCat no, its perry johnson

[@fear7812]

i love you and you are valid

[@hcbfhwjdjckek]

I only understand this because of my friend

[@catlady4858]

Oh, stop it, you.

[@melaniemartinez7516]

🙌🙌🙌

[@jays.4969]

“A teacher would never call a student an idiot” One of my favorite teachers once looked at my friend and I, gestured to our heads, and said “Wow, there really is nothin goin on up there”. American public school teachers who only have a few years till retirement are ruthless, they’re not getting paid nearly enough and they have nothing to lose.

[@me-dc8pj]

I had a History teacher who, when a kid got 1 question wrong, stood behind her and looks through her hair saying "oh sorry, just looking for the surgical scar from when they removed your brain" and like this man wasnt even close to retiring he just didn't care lmao

[@ameonna8168]

as an australian private school student it happens aswell, he probably just went to a more positive school 😊

[@DragonMaiden77]

I had an art class with my best friend. She was making a seal sculpture, and when I went to consult my art teacher about my project next, he looked up at me slowly with his eyebrow raised and said ‘let me guess, you’re making a club?’ Funniest shit ever.

[@reaganstevenson422]

my teacher wrote “what the hell is this?” on the top of one of my essays… it was the second thing i wrote in that class

[@m0bz0mb38]

Yeah that's happened to me to, I didn't have friends though (for real I feel like I should clarify since most of these comments are made up stories lol)

[@matthewweitzner8956]

0:21 I was half paying attention and thought you were calling Slash shitty for a moment glad you were just using him as punctuation

[@lolafaye2026]

one time i yelled at a mcdonald’s worker for giving me 4 nuggets instead of 6 and she got fired and everyone started applauding

[@NunayahBuisness]

True story. How do I know you ask? I'm one of the missing nuggets. We were in love and ran off to be together forever. Sadly the other nugget passed from triple rare Michael Jackson nugget cancer of the shoe.

[@ren-pt3ll]

every karen's dream scenario

[@ThatChadHollow]

TBF I wouldn't be very happy too if I was missing a third of my nuggies, someone gon die for that

[@maddibesaddi]

I apparently havent gotten to the Doug part so I'm just reading all these Doug comments

[@haiimalex8125]

maddi tracy same 😂

[@sethedmonds4967]

@@haiimalex8125 same lol

[@kaylee-td4qd]

same sis

[@maddibesaddi]

@Isabel Dillon I like the difference 10/10

[@damio2767]

10:06

[@crystalwolcott4744]

"I smoked 5 blunts"...like bro if you smoked FIVE blunts you would have been asleep. lol

[@bumble9511]

and your lungs would be dead

[@oceanepetit9009]

I have a "friend" who one smoked 5 blunts in one go. He was smoking in a little hut near the sea, and he told me that he woke up 3 hours later in a random pathway to the beach, thirsty as hell, with a huge headache, 2 km from that hut. Don't smoke 5 blunts in one go...because you might not be as lucky as him haha

[@elcappital]

I thought the same thing

[@pingpongball9167]

Idk, depends on the flower. Some high sativa shit like blue dream might legit make somebody wait for a stop sign to turn green, but only for a minute before going like "ohhh shit haha I'm dumb" not a whole ass hour But like blue dream is only for the pros, it can and will fuck you up

[@pingpongball9167]

@user deceased damnn I didn't even think of AK-47 lmao

[@cyanaxo]

9:13 I don't think you realize how common it is for teachers to not only insult their students, but also straight up roast them

[@lilly7550]

Kurtis smoking pot is both so damn in character and very surprising at the same time. Dunno which

[@NunayahBuisness]

Imma say you don't know many stoners. He seems like one to me. First sign for me was how he chuckles at his own jokes.

[@alexanderh8129]

@@NunayahBuisness but he seems to have never gotten properly high bc it absolutely would make u do shit like the stopsign thing

[@vykepp5709]

@@alexanderh8129 but you shouldnt drive high

[@stagjaw]

his demeanour seems like he would smoke, but he’s so innocent and sweet lol

[@shirinnaidu4971]

LMAO WHY DO I GET EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN

[@cryinfmort239]

Kurtis: Do u know a doug? Me: Doug Judy

[@slowcosmic6176]

Angeli Hackerman no dude

[@erghhmmayy8457]

I-

[@prishawalia8325]

THE PONTIAC BANDIT

[@aishabarbie20]

Joud Dudy

[@sterrehammer5064]

OMG YES

[@aliensexist2639]

I bet the stop sign incident happened but it was like for 30 seconds, and he embellished it

[@gagetlapa5624]

Yeah

[@tylereklund9170]

After a long day at work and half asleep, ive done that before. Maybe 5-10 seconds tops

[@TheAlmightyDish]

420 likes

[@Gabi-tp7fz]

@@kaitlinshaw8093 sUrE

[@cursedpie7153]

@@Gabi-tp7fz wait what did she say I can't see her comment

[@mizstories9646]

I have actually at one time in my life had an amazing achievement and had an entire room clap for me. But I can NEVER tell the story because all of the liars online have ruined it for me.

[@saltygooseundertale7412]

Actually?

[@ghost_inthewire]

kids in my english class clap for everything my teacher does for absolutely no reason. one time when he casually threw a piece of paper into the bin, everyone began fucking clapping and cheering

[@anahand4137]

Same bro. I mean it was definitely a joke but I had a classroom clap at me and I’ll never be believed lol

[@Cheiriko]

Kurtis: Doug isn’t a name that exists My tech teacher named Doug: *There is an idiot at the end of this ruler*

[@leentabanaj1883]

😂😂😂😂 That made me laugh more than it should have

[@idklol1233-u7z]

at which end tho?

[@harlemharris8494]

@@idklol1233-u7z your not even grounded for that

[@shaggyrogers1851]

And they all started clapping

[@samuelforesta]

My dad's name is literally Doug.

[@666-bpm]

Me: h- Everyone: **claps**

[@emilyarnold6386]

“Do you know a doug?” “I have like 8 dougs in my family” “NO YOU DONT” *has existential crisis*

[@imacloud.]

Incredible.

[@HCsMyName]

Same my cousin is named Doug 😂

[@mimicatmoon]

seth perea in-laws

[@thomaswiltherford9265]

@Emily Arnold I met them! I ranted about capitalism, got high, peed on their rug, then left! Everyone was clapping!! Yes I did this for each one

[@mimicatmoon]

seth perea in their family there is

[@pencilshavings_yt]

Once, Charli D'Amelio was walking down the street, then she saw a newborn riding a bicycle. He said to her "I want to persuade my dreams but my children aren't allowing me to" Charli frowned and replied "Do whatever you want man. Be brave. Stand up to them". And that little boy was Jeremy Clarkson.

[@MonsieurCarrot]

Where’s my extra greeting Kurtis? Huh? Where is it? Furious and crying

[@somethingsomethinglastname9206]

UNSUBSCRIBED

[@aishwaryap.2230]

WHERE ARE MY RIGHTS >:'(

[@wmiles]

Teacher: “At the end of this ruler is an idoit.” Me: “That’s... why I’m here.”

[@anormalweeb5809]

The fact that you wrote idoit makes it even funnier to me

[@dfdedsdcd]

*Starts slow clapping*

[@mia-nq6rl]

*pees on the floor*

[@stevenbard8026]

I was the 200th like! What do i win?!

[@wmiles]

Steven Bard: Breath in *N E C K*

[@dpark9728]

Omg when I was in high school my teacher told me my ears were too big for my head and I got up and flew around the room as he stared at me in awe. And my classmates started slow clapping once I landed in my seat.

[@meermeneer2278]

Lmao

[@nurimaninsyirahbintirosli5220]

you r dumbo ancestor

[@boxlover4368]

Can confirm I was a classmate

[@cailloussoakingbussy7422]

This needs to be pinned it made me laugh way more than it should

[@dpark9728]

@@boxlover4368 hey thanks for the slow claps my guy

[@Gdub33]

I could definitely see a cop letting someone off with a warning for a watermelon being seatbelted. Ive been let off by joking around with them. Totally see the seabelt thing too. Ive also had teachers say worse things than "at the end of this ruler is an idiot". Totally see that happening. Your newer versions of this topic are so much better. Awesome to see how much your channel has improved.

[@dirtgrub390]

"anyone watching this, do u know a doug? u dont" *my dad evaporates*

[@localcryptid740]

Thanos has entered the chat

[@Raspbettyjam]

same

[@turkeybandit1018]

Dude same thing happened to me, except my dads name wasn't Doug

[@emoahh11]

@@turkeybandit1018 😶

[@sweetcreature2475]

My uncle evaporated as well. Its happening everywhere.

[@princesslexicon]

“As long as you have a watermelon in your car laws don’t exist”

[@riverxxx1421]

my new yearbook quote

[@tadpole345]

wise words of a faithful Kurtistown inhabitant

[@parakeetiscool7647]

If the melon is in the vehicle, the felon is null

[@Undeadfayrie]

princesslexicon basically

[@happyderp2282]

"Do you know a Doug? You don't." Boi, how dare you diss Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome!!!

[@Not_An_EV]

I mean his point still technically stands. While Doug Dimmadome owner of the Dimsdale Dimmadome is a magnificent Doug hes also not actually real.

[@randompenguin2266]

@I_Live_Under_A_Bridge Mouth shut now

[@woogie762]

@@Not_An_EV I know a Doug

[@celestek.b.5257]

Daddy Doug Demuro

[@hanagracec]

@@woogie762 no you don’t /j

[@maddieb_99]

ok the one about waiting for the stop sign to turn green actually checks out. carry on

[@thegoroakechi]

"Where were you in the movie?" "Deleted scenes."

[@josephbilderback4549]

Deleted deleted scenes

[@aquariaaaa]

“ooh they cut me out://“

[@ShinySephiroth1]

I think Kurtis never went to a ghetto school... I constantly saw teachers calling kids stupid. One time a teacher and student spent 15 minutes arguing and calling each other fat.

[@MercurialIris]

That’s not ghetto, that just sounds like a bad school.

[@oliviapedersen8309]

Frank Feliz I disagree. I went to a good school and teachers were mean and yelled at us for stupid shit all the time

[@MercurialIris]

Olivia Pedersen that’s because kids are awful. Not every teacher can put up with that for what little amount of money they’re paid. Imagine a kid treating you like garbage, they’re dumb and uneducated and you’re someone who’s gone through years of college and this kid still thinks they’re right and you’re wrong. Then their mouth breathing parents step in, and agree with their kids even though they’re wrong. It’s a frustrating job, I’d bash a kids skull in and not think anything of it. Then take that bashed in skull and shove it down their parents throat.

[@ShinySephiroth1]

@@MercurialIris Can't lie, I laughed more than I should at your comment but yeah, I feel so bad for teachers. And yes, that kid in particular was a snot to that teacher for the entire year.

[@oliviapedersen8309]

Frank Feliz woah look I totally agree that teachers are amazing and underpaid and they deserve to make so much more than they do. Their jobs and the work they do is incredibly important. Trust me I understand my mother is a teacher. I know how hard she works and I appreciate the teachers that have taught me. I’m just saying there are some teachers that are mean to kids even if you go to a good school

[@pleasehelp6613]

Bro fr tho I was driving 10 mph in a 60 mph with a huge line of traffic behind me and a cop pulled me over and tried to give me a ticket. But I simply gestured to a cantaloupe buckled into the carseat with my kid. And the cop laughed, and then shot me.

[@private_poptarts]

Everyone behind u applauded

[@pleasehelp6613]

Private Poptarts how did you know?

[@private_poptarts]

Please help just had a feeling bro

[@pleasehelp6613]

Private Poptarts nice one, bro

[@hexmaniacgabby5160]

Ok but this one is actually plausible

[@jinglebingle4]

"a teacher would never call you an idiot" bro has not been to an Australian public school

[@bianca-ve8id]

that girl that peed on the ground gave me emma chamberlain vibes

[@chloewagner3211]

A thousand times yes it was so her

[@kaithesiren]

Tana Mongolian Vibes 👀👀

[@v4mpysl]

yes.

[@linnea1907]

i just fuckin snorted omg

[@brandonneal6659]

It's most likely the girl just wanted to tell everyone she slept with her friends boyfriend but made up a story about her so people would think ewww she is gross I don't feel as bad for thinking its okay for you to sleep with her bf lol.

[@kayleejane5579]

Honest to god, I had a teacher in 7th grade that told a kid they sucked and the kid replied "you swallow." The class didn't clap but they all went "oooooo" really loudly and the kid got written up.

[@taitia8619]

True or not, that sounds believable.

[@evinix]

Is it true???

[@halleys.comett]

man my friend told our english teacher (in the middle of her very messy and public divorce with another teacher) “maybe if you got dick you’d be in a better mood”

[@nadersaid2215]

Oooooooooooo

[@nomoretwitterhandles]

I think saying "they ALL" is what makes something sound fake. I highly doubt every single person in your 7th grade class went "ooooo". But I'm sure a *few* did.

[@jessvance2970]

Every Doug is out here having an existential crisis now lol

[@hystericallover5989]

why the fuck does this comment have only 1 reply, with over 1000 likes? (which is me)

[@tylerlambert2665]

Yeah I know I'm the 2nd reply lol

[@meowmeow9562]

3rd! Hehe *awkward laugh*

[@insertnamehere1983]

Jess Vance no they’re not because they don’t exist

[@kmay7134]

One time at school my teacher gave me homework. I immediately stood up and peed all over it like it was newspaper!! The whole class slow clapped for me while I threw the piss-soaked science papers into my teachers purse 😂😂😂 the principle came over the intercom and told me I would get a statue and bench made in my honor!!

[@princegoatcheese9379]

"Lying: everyone lies, human nature" Who hurt you, Kurtis?

[@avamacy2348]

Prince Goat Cheese - real❕‼️💯eyes👀 😳👁realize🤭 🤝🙀real😬🥴😑lies😪😭😤

[@LUCKY-lf2jv]

ava elizabeth 😔✊🏽

[@meat6470]

ava elizabeth 😳

[@deknees8969]

@@avamacy2348 r/im14andthisisdeep

[@dicentra985]

SBEVE

[@MKET3]

my mom: what do you want to be when you grow up me: what's even the point of getting a job when it's just going to make me money and nothing else and as we all know money is a hellspawn guy robbing my house:👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@SlightMishap]

You forgot a shameless trump 2020 plug

[@Lunar_Can_Draw]

You forgot the “then the whole store clapped”

[@SixxThirtyFive]

My manager read your comment and quit on the spot as well 😲

[@yonqbonk]

fun drinking game: take a shot every time kurtis says “dude”

[@birdsofabone5127]

Death!!!!

[@jae5251]

B R O that’s a death wish

[@clairebarnes7842]

Sophia Fiuza sweetie that’s called alcoholism

[@sarathekidd4744]

alcohol poisoning

[@escalator8969]

1500th like

[@caitlyngarrett7597]

Actually one of my friends is named Doug. We played in the school band He had to move so we petitioned to have a full marching show as a tribute to him It was great

[@jennypointner7689]

On first day of secondary school I told everybody I was vegetarian and I realised I had to stop eating meat to make it realistics and that's the story about how I actually became vegetarian at 11 lmao. I wish I was as consistent with everything in my life like I was with that lie

[@patrickstar9379]

Sophomore year I told my German teacher I was a vegetarian since I had forgotten all the names for meats. It wasn't even a good excuse but he still thinks I'm a vegetarian lmao

[@jadaradtke5603]

Omg the same exact thing happened to me at the same age omg

[@xXxCherylxXxMoxXx]

I'm laughing so hard right now you're my hero

[@angelmanning7037]

I told a boy I was texting I was vegetarian bc I WANTED to be but just wasnt. He wanted to meet up and I really liked him and so I stopped eating meat and we ended up dating for 2 years.

[@bella-xf2lz]

in second grade i lied to sounds different say i was a vegetarian. now i am vegan and i am so against meat/ animal agriculture 😂😅

[@withlovemina]

“Doug isn’t a real name!” My uncle: *sad uncle noises*

[@i_love_addison_rae187]

ungle *

[@withlovemina]

@@i_love_addison_rae187 yes

[@deadeyeddog]

@@i_love_addison_rae187 LMAO

[@cartmanpilled]

my dad, also named doug: *sad dad noises*

[@withlovemina]

@@cartmanpilled F

[@darux268]

"You get to leave a test once you're done" *Cries in British*

[@hufflepuffhorcrux3269]

*2020’s year 11/13s left the chat*

[@inkheart01]

😔 yeah.

[@chloemarples7828]

*Cries in 15hr A level art exam that you can’t leave*

[@user-uq9oh4yg2z]

in my school you get to leave when EVERYONE finishes its kind of annoying

[@shannons3419]

im pretty sure he was being sarcastic

[@theicedmocha]

I can confirm the one about the kid not being let out to use the bathroom. Happened to me back in my school, they were worried about kids vaping in the bathrooms and a lot of teachers wouldn't let kids out of class

[@shaym.4867]

Kurtis: Do you know a Doug? Me: Yeah my uncle's name is- Kurtis: No you don't Me: No I don't *forgets uncle*

[@BethAnnMayberry]

DANG IT. Now I have forgotten ALL my uncles, (including my uncle who is actually named Doug... are we cousins? I mean, if there aren't any Dougs out there, I assume we have the same Uncle Doug.👀) just in case.

[@kingayy9267]

*Doug* is the manager at every mid-level family dining restaurant in the continental U.S.

[@Mothmollyishere]

BethAnn Mayberry then we ALSO share an uncle because mines also named Doug!?!? Bro it’s a small world out there smh ✊

[@BethAnnMayberry]

@@Mothmollyishere who knew Kurtistown was such a cozy place for a family reunion!? At least we know now so we don't accidentally date relatives. (The #StinkyGregsOfKurtistown are a *close* family... But not an ICKY close one. We leave that kind of relationship to the Pranksters and their kissing challenges. *Shudder*)

[@Kat-PM]

Shay M. Same lol

[@rennywest2169]

*with a straight, emotionless face* “I’m very, very, excited for today’s video”

[@Oh-kx1os]

And then everyone clapped

[@sleepingmrbunny6570]

then we make out.

[@sidtheserotoninkid8801]

てねてねー oh

[@sleepingmrbunny6570]

@@sidtheserotoninkid8801 pucker up 💋💋💋 lmao

[@sidtheserotoninkid8801]

てねてねー *crying* 😗

[@Beth_Amphetamine]

I totally believe someone high could pull up to a stop sign and wait for it to turn green for like 2 minutes and then laugh at themselves and head to McDonald’s. No way in hell someone high would wait an hour and a half for munchies and a coke for that hellacious dry mouth... even for an actual red light.

[@cherrybomber3328]

Y is Jeffre star in ur pfp

[@Beth_Amphetamine]

@@cherrybomber3328 it’s not Jeffery Star.

[@cherrybomber3328]

@@Beth_Amphetamine yea ik he just looks like him

[@Beth_Amphetamine]

@@cherrybomber3328 I hadn’t really noticed before you said that lol but now I can’t unsee it 😄

[@cici1474]

@@cherrybomber3328 LMAOHSHSHAHAHHAHAHS

[@giantsalamander]

"a teacher would never call a student an idiot" one of my teachers told me in front of the entire class and another teacher that i wasn't good for anything except drawing. she didn't even get in trouble for it.