The Keeper (2009) - Steven Seagal - Comedic Movie Review

[@Buford_T_Justice1]

Seagal has carried EVERY movie he is in. He has also eaten every donut he has ever seen.

[@RedEyeReviews]

Hahaha thank God for craft service tables on set.

[@Trellogiatros]

Lies. There are donuts that there was no time to see. He just grabbed them and ate them faster than the speed of light. Like his knife fighting skills...

[@johnmcdonagh9336]

I think the donuts may have eaten him at this point. His many sort of look a likes appear to do the heavy lifting in the movies. Possibly even carrying him off camera to save energy. Still have to admire his get up and go, and I love some of his movies.

[@amaipls]

@@johnmcdonagh9336 Maybe that's why he's such a big fan in Russia. You eat donut. In mother Russia, donut eat you

[@fordy2697]

The sheer dedication to go through his entries filmography is insane. Keep it up

[@RedEyeReviews]

Oh thank you! I might lose my mind at the end of it all. But for now we carry on lol

[@rickastley2308]

@@RedEyeReviews hehe, I'm afraid there is no end

[@WeekendWeakling]

I'm surprised your not a full blown alcoholic by now.

[@lancecampbell4323]

You are my hero. I would have killed myself after the third movie

[@rustymertz]

True hero’s understand the work they must put in.

[@wackawacka4624]

great review! i once worked in Hollywood for a semi-famous personality (actor/director) who thought he was a God. if you weren't a "yes man" or didn't jump immediately at his sometimes ridiculous commands, you were shown the door quickly. sometimes you were shown the door for doing nothing wrong, but he PERCEIVED you doing something wrong. this person, let's call him Bill, went through MANY assistants, agents, managers, support staff etc etc. i can only imagine this is also Steven Seagal's life and i just feel so bad for his staff.

[@RedEyeReviews]

For real! I could only imagine what his staff most deal with every day

[@alexgrenlie862]

Especially the women. He has trouble keeping his hands to himself. Lots of allegations

[@robocoxo]

This is one of those stories that I’m sure could be repeated by filling in the name of many famous personalities. But yeah, Seagal has sexually assaulted practically every woman who has worked for him, including Ray Charles granddaughter.

[@Dan-di9jd]

I believe his main source of income is from his aikido studios and that his films are a secondary source of income. As a matter of fact, I believe most of his movies post stardom is probably funded himself. I would totally understand if you were paying money by the hour for time that it would make complete sense that you don't want anyone on staff who isn't at least looking like they're doing something. You can run out of money very fast.

[@JorgeMoreno-bm2oz]

3:16 he is curling about 10 lbs and seems to be struggling! ha ha ha, never a dull moment

[@johnhoover5431]

"If you have enough money, you can break the law." That's actually a money saving strategy for big corporations. Cheaper to pay for a few injury/death lawsuits than pulling a full recall and trashing inventory.

[@b-rye428]

Just realizing this guy filmed a lot of these direct to video movies here in New Mexico. I remember a friend saying he saw Steven Seagal shooting a movie here, didn't fight or anything, filmed 5 minute scene and left. I'm thinking this was 2009, 2010? They film here because it's so cheap . Keep up your movie reviews red eye! Going on a binge here!

[@RedEyeReviews]

Ahh New Mexico makes alot of sense. I bet some of the smaller towns would love the added money that filming any movie would bring. But 5 minutes on set...yeah that sounds about right lol. So glad you are enjoying the channel friend!

[@nicandknacksandseans]

Genuinely surprised Segal let his character be shot, even if it’s central to the plot.

[@Hermes_The_Sage]

Going through all your reviews recently . I swear you gotta keep doing these things man . Your subtle humor is freakin top tier . 😁

[@RedEyeReviews]

Thank you so much! It has been a blast watching all these movies

[@nicandknacksandseans]

I love how they had to find someone who looked somehow older and sadder and fatter than Segal to play the first bodyguard so that it at least makes a little sense for him to succeed where that guy failed.

[@trixx9652]

That scene where he got shot was just him sleeping in his trailer. He had some donut jelly on his shirt when he passed out. So they just decided to shoot the scene

[@derpanzermacher9094]

The driver has the same level of musical talent as Steven has acting skills.

[@RedEyeReviews]

Boom Roasted!

[@derpanzermacher9094]

@@RedEyeReviews enjoy your well deserved holiday and congrats on 1k subs :)

[@ktheterkuceder6825]

Maybe slightly more talent.

[@roymcdonald2557]

Congratulations Red-eye, your channel is growing. It's good to see talented people getting what they deserve. You don't force anything or manipulate scenes just to be funny. Very good my dude.

[@RedEyeReviews]

Thank you so much!

[@sprouts5535]

Lmao a Seagal sized hole is a very big liability. And the evil real estate lawyer had me rolling!!!

[@waynegorewoda5825]

Iv been watching your seagel reviews all week love it you gotta keep doing them foe every movie he does its what the people need you are a hero to us all

[@RedEyeReviews]

Hahaha thank you so much! It's been a tough journey, and Seagal has almost claimed my sanity on more than one occasion. But I must trudge forward and do what is right for the people lol. For real, thank you for your support and glad you like the videos :)

[@randywatson8347]

To be honest Segal movies are perfect for late nite weekends when you're mentally exhausted at the end of the day lol.

[@whcw11]

1:33 You could almost say that would be a bold... Executive Decision, haha.

[@yogafire646]

I try to watch your reviews but I never miss your Seagal reviews!

[@RedEyeReviews]

Thank you so much! Seagal is my golden child for sure haha.

[@daintybeigli]

Of course Seagal got a white hat - gotta reinforce that he’s the good guy (except for all those movies where he doesn’t realize he’s actually the villain 😂)

[@TheEyez187]

3:17 - What a lousy job!!! Imagine being the stunt arm to lift those weights! 7:07 - 7:10 - Not just any hat, a magical hat!!

[@angryoldgamer4845]

Stumbled upon your channel and watched/loved all your vids...keep up the good work 👍

[@RedEyeReviews]

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you like them! really appreciate the support!

[@timtapp5931]

7:20 Love how it switches to a guy with way longer side burns than Seagal. Like whole mutton chops hahaha

[@Frissdas1207]

"As we all know, if you have enough money.. you can break the law." Lmao

[@hal900x]

"Please don't do this.". I literally died. Traumatic laughter poisoning. It's a real thing.

[@DrSlackr]

"Clown without makeup" is my go to insult from now on. 🤣

[@Hollyclown]

So let me get this straight. This boxer takes the moral high ground by not throwing a fight, but is more then happy to kidnap a kid?

[@tyedyejedi]

His gunshot wounds migrated. You had me subscribe at migrate. Seriously dude. You have some really good content and it's hard for me to resonate with somebody to actually pay attention. I'm surprised you don't have more subscribers. You either have it or you don't and you definitely have it. Only other movie review people I watch is Mr Sunday movie whatever the Australian guys because everybody else is horrible now I have you on my list A+ good job. Cumtown would be good if he'd just get rid of that one guy and it's horrible nails on a chalkboard laugh and that's all he does is laugh he's just there to laugh. Nerp

[@RedEyeReviews]

Haha thanks friend! We are slowly growing. It's been really cool :)

[@jdgustofwinddance.7748]

13:44 Funny how he disses someone’s musical talent. Pot and Kettle, you guys have met?

[@ralang999]

before the Sitting Down years there was the Jacket Zipped/Buttoned All the Way Up To The Neck years!

[@RedEyeReviews]

Ahhh good times

[@MarioSratss]

I remember that movie was really solid compared to other Seagal movies. Your review is awesome 😂

[@GUTTERWITCH444]

Love your channel

[@RedEyeReviews]

Thank you so much!

[@glenncambray626]

It's possible that Steven Seagal is the most entertaining movie star ever.Who else can really be compared to him?And he keeps getting worse and so much better,

[@marktaylor4674]

If you added a fart noise in when he bows at the end, his facial expression would be truly comical.. lol.

[@avvn9331]

Its great to see the movie reviews of Stevan Segal, I like his moives, thanks

[@henryrmarliniii8360]

Lol.....the picture of the awards. Reminds me of the holy grail scene. Lol you beat me to it, dammit. I'm from Texas, stairs never stopped me from getting some. What's up with dance shaking death scene. These are amazing sir. Where is this yard sale at

[@fatthumbs2020]

Your dedication to the art Is truly a gift

[@RedEyeReviews]

Haha I appreciate that sir :)

[@Argumemnon]

Basically every Seagal movie is the exact same. He's some special forces dude, pitted against mobsters or something, uses body doubles, has some asian stuff thrown in there, mumbles his lines, can't be hurt, bangs some bad b-movie actor model, and either she or another woman gets kidnapped (the extent of female roles in his movies), and big shootout at the end. You see one movie you've essentially seen them all!

[@seanmcclure]

When you’ve gotten to the point you need a body double for sitting there is a problem.

[@anglosaxon3951]

your really doing gods work watching his movies you have my thanks for your sacrifice

[@zensempai7371]

Seagal’s movies must be a front for laundering moneys

[@djcease1996]

I've actually never seen *The Keeper*. Hard to find around my neck of the woods. Good review still as always.

[@RedEyeReviews]

It's middle of the pack for Seagal. Not his best buy definitely not the worst

[@djcease1996]

@@RedEyeReviews Just from the clips I've seen from your review I can tell I would enjoy it but agreed definitely not his best work. You're a few films away from a 2010 picture he made called *Born To Raise Hell*. I believe you will rather enjoy that one.

[@RedEyeReviews]

@@djcease1996 oooo I can't wait!

[@dogfacedsoldier327]

Seagal is the master of continuity. Chest wound turns to a shoulder wound.

[@thethedeanshow]

I remember we were all excited by this one because some scenes actually had good lighting

[@dizzy1369]

Why would his hospital gown be all bloody cuz that would be post surgery and the wounds should be sealed and bandaged so we shouldn't be seeing that blood? 🤔🤣😂😂😂

[@TheGuesteMC]

2:15 Harbor General ! Whoop whoop!!

[@marthastubbs8321]

Lol the double at 14:07

[@nickadm8321]

Lol 🤣🤣🤣 you make everyday a joy thx

[@RedEyeReviews]

Thanks friend.

[@jackwells8107]

In Seagal's defense, I have to say - if they filmed this in Texas in July or August, just taking a few steps is reason for some heavy breathing.

[@4157firestorm]

@2:21 I would have thought his most powerful ally would be his plot armour

[@Dan-di9jd]

When I first watched the movie, that part where he changed his accent to Texan made me laugh, but what made me laugh the hardest was at the end that dude reading over that contract for the sale of his company. lol. I never seen something so silly before. It's almost as silly as if Seagal made a movie where criminals who run a illegal chop shop and he's showing them holding the driver hostage until they sign over the title to them and Seagal tricks them with a fake title and they have a lawyer on site going, "No! No! This is all wrong! It's missing pieces!" I mean if a criminal was interested in his Uranium mine, couldn't they simply hold his daughter hostage, and demand that he mine the uranium and hand it over to them? That would at least seem a bit more realistic, I think than this whole contract for sale approach, lol.

[@Teh69thSpartan]

@@Dan-di9jd xD

[@ronincomix]

keep up the great work!

[@RedEyeReviews]

Thank you Ronin!

[@chrisandrew7577]

Can you get closed captioning? I wanna read what you say when I'm somewhere I can't bump the volume

[@RedEyeReviews]

I can try through Adobe. I think there's auto generated ones that Adobe can do. I'll check

[@chrisandrew7577]

@@RedEyeReviews thanks!

[@MegaNjabulo]

😂😂😂😂😂because of you I involuntarily greet people with “hayiyah”😂😂😂

[@MonteLight]

That was the fastest 16 minutes I've ever enjoyed. When you got to the end, I thought, "Wait, that's it?" Must've been your same reaction to watching the actual film.

[@RedEyeReviews]

Glad you enjoyed it!! Most Seagal movies feel that way. But every so often one of them is just SOOO boring it feels like a life time.

[@rashidmartialarts9513]

LOL taking a power nap

[@RedEyeReviews]

Karate induced power nap

[@sincereyoutubeapology]

This is Mystery Science Theater quality commentary. With that being said, what do you have against spider havens?

[@WhoWantsToKnow81]

The boss looks like a bargain bin version of Walton Goggins

[@akmil02]

The contracts guy was acting so hard to make up for the rest of the cast. They screwed him out of an Oscar

[@RedEyeReviews]

Hahaha he really poured his all into his one line

[@skullyskaric7779]

1:55 time to wake up seagal get ready for school.

[@andrewweber9930]

Marry Porvic is in this movie?

[@TCFan25]

So basically a B grade mashup of Hard To Kill, Taken and The Bodyguard.

[@systemschef]

Bullet induced power nap lmao

[@Свободадляроссии]

Love how he can't resist a good butt grab in a scene in his own movie and can't even be bothered to redo the shot

[@rickyrizk]

on 6:41 the one Seagal shake his hands thats his Double playing an extra LOL

[@dizzy1369]

He wore the hat 🤣😂😂

[@b-rye428]

@14:00 that's not the back of his head either

[@RedEyeReviews]

I am convinced that every back of the head shot is a body double.

[@mwont]

Can't wait till you get to his latest movies.

[@RedEyeReviews]

Me neither! It's going to be amazing

[@ProgSnob14]

The Holy Grail! My man slammed on someone's musical skills....but has he taken a moment to hear his own albums?

[@stephenban]

Wait, wait. Something's wrong - Seagal didn't sleep with the daughter. That's a plot twist if I ever saw one.

[@grapeshot]

And just to think the Knight said you cannot move the grill beyond the seal.

[@boneheaded9751]

I'm looking forward to the Seagal movie where he's seated in every single fight scene. Gun fight scene? Seated. Hand to hand combat? Seated. Only then will Seagal have reached his pinnacle.

[@JizzMasterTheZeroth]

Gunshots to the shoulder really is less critical compared to a wound in the chest. Good doctors 👌

[@parisgreen4600]

3:31 - that trophy in the background - best, uh, dolphin rider? These self-produced movies keep getting weirder! 8:40 - "I like him, Daddy - he makes me feel safe." EW, just eew. I would have loved to see the nerdy Realtor hold his own in a Kung Fu fight or a shootout or something...

[@RedEyeReviews]

Lol his trophies and awards are incredible. But for real! Nerdy dude should have thrown some kicks!

[@David-fanboy]

Is this Hard to Kill 2?

[@liampendergast8670]

I found Seagal weirdly charming in this. In the drunk uncle whose fun to hang out with kinda way.

[@RedEyeReviews]

That's a great comparison. He's fun, but your parents think he's a bad influence and have to explain that to you after you leave the family gathering.

[@tangoblue]

8:00 - Homeboy is the Make-a-Wish Will Patton.

[@yeeminyamin5515]

I love all the Seagul nonsense. Keep em comin.

[@4g63t8]

One of the only ones I haven’t seen

[@UncomfortableShoes]

The lunacy of him, bloated and shot while sitting, then he survives, then kills a guy laying in a bed, then he recovers and is working out while sitting too. Lol Jesus. Also, the man accused of domestic abuse sure has a lot of scenes in his shit movies where a girl is getting assault and he saves them. Terrible.

[@a.nonymouse]

This film was certainly thought-provoking... you know the thought it provoked in me? "Wow! Does it make me a racist if I think that TREVOR is a weird name for a black dude?" Come on people, was I THE ONLY ONE THINKING THAT?

[@rowanblithe71]

bro!! the guy cutting the tiny branch just saved a million lives!! that was the KEY to the whole security system, uninterrupted view of the place by cutting the tiny branch!! u know, seagal gets me thinking: the "plot" of the movie is the guys wanted the uranium mine, SO, they wanted to kidnap the girl, by faking the paparazzo, (also, BEST getting out of a moving car I've ever seen), shooting instead of just taking the limo. SINCE THAT DIDN'T WORK, they would have the girl's boyfriend throw the fight?? SINCE THAT DIDN'T WORK, they were gonna cut the guy's finger, which WOULD scare the guy into KIDNAPPING his girlfriend; which HE doesn't really do himself... ALL THE WHILE, seagal designed the guy's security system with "holes" in it for "some" reason??? is seagal trying to entrap the rich guy?

[@mikehawkswollen5819]

Awesome video 👍 lmao

[@RedEyeReviews]

Thank you so much!

[@obychnyichelovek6757]

The beginning was genually amazing and suprising but rest of the movie was underwhelming. Comedy didn't work at all, Seagal looks bored throughout the movie, could've been a decent movie if the lead was more capable actor, however this is one of more enjoyable direct to video movies with Steven

[@D4RKxHOR1ZoN]

Never knew this guy has so many movies 🙈

[@thewiremother5912]

I've watched a few of these now, and it seems like he is just re-writing Hard to Kill a bunch of different ways. I assume this is because that was the movie he made at the peak of his career.

[@bigbob10118]

I thought it was passable Seagal fare, definitely more entertaining than some of the last few

[@RedEyeReviews]

Completely agree. It was much more watchable than some

[@itachi-kun7736]

Lol! I didn't know Seagal has the power to migrate his wounds from his chest to his shoulder!

[@RedEyeReviews]

Me neither! It makes sense though, he survives alot of bullet wounds in his movies

[@jcohasset23]

And what's funny is that was completely not needed as irl that much seepage of blood through the bandage would probably get a gunshot victim back into surgery to check for broken stitches and internal bleeding. Due to the infectious risk of blood nurses are not going to let a patient lay in a gown that has blood on it either.

[@brianweatherman1207]

Dont bring a gun into a hospital? I carry a gun everywhere even a hospital. That's what's nice about having conceal carry....no one sees you packin Anyways I love Steven Seagal reviews....so damn funny!

[@outtabubblegum7034]

9:00 - seriously, if you try something like that against a pro boxer, you are DEAD. His right arm is free.

[@insanitypepper1740]

Didn't The Patriot satisfy your fetish for Seagal in a cowboy hat Sir?!?

[@RedEyeReviews]

Never! I want him in ALL the hats lol

[@Automaticstop1]

Read it as the kreeper at first😂😂😂

[@methical__]

It really bothers me how that one Paparazzo hitman holds his camera with his left hand.

[@snoo333]

thank you

[@BattleDragon88]

We gonna ignore first thing Steven do is "sit on couch"?

[@chrismyers2073]

executive decision 1996 advertising looks like a seagal movie- lol

[@phillipwattsjr.4714]

Damn...how many of these movies has Seagal done?

[@munstrumridcully]

In what world do cops raid a drug dealer with zero backup and no body armor?!

[@andrewweber9930]

Omg I remember this one

[@michaellutcher214]

Well he did die in one of his movie if I can recall executive decision the one where they were trying to rescue the president from the plane😂

[@nervousordo]

So getting shot makes him gain weight?

[@genin69]

All the over shoulder shots are body doubles