The Long Term Effects of Emotional Abuse

Discover the enduring consequences of emotional abuse within relationships in our thought-provoking video, 'The Long-Term Effects of Emotional Abuse in a Relationship.' Explore the deep-seated impacts on mental health, self-esteem, and intimacy. Let's foster understanding, healing, and support for survivors. #EmotionalAbuse #Relationships #MentalHealth
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[@charlysteenstevens9314]

Imagine having those exact kind of emotionally abusive tactics coming from a parent all the years you're growing up. You'd think that as soon as you come of age and can get away you would. Most of us do and we put that parent at arm's length but we look at the romantic partners we choose and they're just like the abusive parent!

[@theemotionalabusecounselor]

You make a very important point. If we grow up with emotionally abusive parents, we might normalize abusive behavior. We must recognize the effects of our childhood on our adult relationships. One common effect is learned behavior. Do we go along to get along? Do we stuff our feelings because we've learned our feelings are not important? When we recognize and resolve learned behavior that's dysfunctional, we will be less at risk of being drawn to a partner who is like an abusive parent.

[@carolwatts944]

Charlysteenstevens - I soooo relate. Grew up with an emotionally abusive (narcissistic) father. I’m almost 70 now - 2 divorces (from narcissistic husbands) & a son who hasn’t talked to me in over 8 yrs. Plus a narcissistic rebound boyfriend. Now - I have nothing to do with men. In fact, I have very little to do with anybody. Self-protection, I know. It’s just safer keeping myself to myself.

[@theemotionalabusecounselor]

Having a narcissistic parent put you at a higher risk of having future narcissistic relationships.I'm sorry for your misfortune but glad you're taking care of yourself now. I encourage you to not give up on relationships. Instead get into therapy so you can understand and resolve the reasons why you kept getting involved with narcissistic men. Therapy could be very enlightening for you. I wish you well. @@carolwatts944

[@gracebe235]

@@carolwatts944……I can sooo identify with what you are saying…..except, it is both males and females that are narcissistic psychopaths in my family. And yes, being the youngest, I was ‘groomed’ to take care of their needs and to not take care of my own. If I had a need, I was told I was being selfish. So I ended up marrying men who were narcissists too.

[@kathleenwharton2139]

I had wonderful raising but married a Narc..he was handsome..I didn’t know about Narcs. I am 80 and have no self esteem at all. He gets his by destroying me. I am starting to see..thanks to awareness and information. 😊❤

[@m.allard5819]

Truth! I have chosen men over and over who either aren't available and/or those who don't think well of me. I am now friends with a few men and am careful not to take in any negative views of me they may have. Married to Jesus who loves me just as I am!❤✝️🙏

[@theemotionalabusecounselor]

We've all made mistakes in the individuals with whom we choose to partner. So pat yourself on the back for drawing good personal boundaries to help you stay out of misguided relationships. A strong faith can help.

[@bentosan]

I’m 38. No one’s ever actually loved me, partnered with people who have betrayed me, patents betrayed me, siblings betrayed me, I’m trying to turn things around as much as I can to attract a decent partner who is capable of love and improve my ability to be emotionally available and increase my ability to empathise both emotionally abs cognitively. It’s not easy when all your life all you have known is abuse and toxic dynamics.

[@kellyely9113]

Anyone that says "love isn't a feeling, it's what you do," is a dangerous person indeed. This person is only capable of doing things that control your behaviors, expressions and mindset to suit their need to not be emotionally open and giving (because they don't have emotional feelings for you, it is purely logistical and rational for them to keep you around to meet their needs), and these types of men can be very convincing that they are "good" and "safe" men (women don't bottle up feelings very well, and I've never been closely connected to a woman that does this as well as a man does), all the while starving you of intimacy, affection, connection and respect for your humanity. Run away from the "stoic" man as this is just another word for "closed off."

[@johndoyle5118]

My father destroyed my mother and almost destroyed me ,my mother wound up with dementia in her early sixties she wound up in a psychiatric hospital all because of it,he denied me an education, and only for the fabulous wife I have I might have succumbed to the same fate

[@theemotionalabusecounselor]

Having a kind and loving partner can make all the difference in a happy life and a miserable life. I'm happy to hear that you chose well.

[@annaburns2865]

Also, have you heard about the 5 love languages? My husband’s live language is words of affirmation, but I just found out that it only works if he just did an act of service. Like when his mom used to praise him for doing things for her. My love language is quality time. So I don’t really feel loved by him sometimes because he’s always at work. But he says he loves me.

[@theemotionalabusecounselor]

Some individuals are uncomfortable with expressing their love through words and only express their love through actions. But a partner who expresses love through actions should do it in a way that resonates with their partner. It's important to express to your husband what actions make you feel loved.

[@deedoyle4069]

Thank you. You might be a new video...? If so.....MORE please! You have, so far as I've watched [3], you DO understand--and someone who Does understand is precious! I'm 85 and just Now beginning to heal from a life-time of narcs. I AM at a new beginning and grateful for it!

[@theemotionalabusecounselor]

I'm so glad to hear that you're finally free of toxic relationships and on a path to healing. I also appreciate your encouraging comments on my video. Loving someone who is abusive is a very painful experience that I understand not only because I'm a therapist but also because I've had my own experience with it. I wish you all the best.

[@DanielKoch-kw6fw]

Greetings beloved 💕I hope you don’t feel I’m bothering you,I can’t just inbox for no reason,if I’m permitted i can tell you what I sensed

[@rebelruth9582]

Not only in a partner relationship, it can be so with a parent.

[@theemotionalabusecounselor]

So true! It's especially difficult when the one who is abusive is a parent.

[@dr.vonslifeinvesting6485]

I’m 42 I think between my ex wife and my mother I can’t trust on a woman to treat me well and if they do it’s just to rug pull it later and change (for the worse).

[@theemotionalabusecounselor]

I understand how painful it is to not be able to trust someone you care about. You must find ways to protect yourself and develop relationships with others who treat you with respect.

[@Cekatu]

Well initially they pretend to respect you, and hold you in high esteem. They pretend to be an angel. Then you drop your guard, and the rug gets pulled. Sometimes times I wonder about the value of the vetting process. My worst relationship was with someone I vetted for almost two years. He turned out to be a nightmare, a demon, a monster, a serpent....... Nothing.... nothing could have prepared me for the evil and the cruelty.......

[@theemotionalabusecounselor]

Such a painful experience - I hope you're getting help and support as you heal. As you've learned, individuals who are Narcissistic abusers are masters at using their charms to seduce others. That's why it's crucial to watch out for (often subtle) red flags in individuals with whom you get involved and also know your own personal issues that make you vulnerable. @@Cekatu

[@kathynicolini5468]

Thank you 🙏 for being here and sharing this. Blessings to you always 😊.

[@theemotionalabusecounselor]

I really appreciate your supportive comment. It's very encouraging to know that my videos are helpful.

[@pattyterry6432]

All so true. Thank you ❤️

[@shawnpatrick4703]

Thank you Amy.

[@annaburns2865]

While it’s important to have an emotional connection, the entirety of that can’t be put on your spouse. I believe that my husband has high functioning autism and is bipolar. I myself have depression, ADHD and fibromyalgia. So I get it. It’s not practical for me to expect my husband to be a whole human being and then some. He struggles a lot especially since he also had an abusive childhood. He is there for me in an emergency and says that he loves me. But I need emotional support elsewhere as well. That’s why I go to women’s groups at multiple churches. Even that is not enough, because I’m dealing with a lot right now. But my husband can’t hold the weight of the world on his shoulders. He wasn’t made for that. It doesn’t mean that he loves me any less.

[@theemotionalabusecounselor]

It does take two to make a healthy relationship. It seems that you well understand your husband and make allowances for his limitations, which is also important for healthy relationships.

[@AnthonioB]

My gf would told me there is no boundaries in relationship, i have right to know all, and u must be honest with me. (I must have controll all the time, if not im gonna make your life misserable and hell)! And she did, i lost myself in constant argues trying to point wrong things and let her know that she often hurt my feeling chasing her peace. That result a 6 years of me trying to sattle things, i have toughts from start that this is all wrong and i was thinking about breaking up wich never happened coz i feelt torn a part seeing her sad and unhappy... those moments of her breakdowns are worst trauma to me... At some point there is no break from fights, later i start to figjt back, wich made me feel bether, sou know eye for an eye but at the end nothing good, just more misserable moments... I just wanna to catch a break and decide what to do with our relationship, but never get that break and time to settle. And after one argue where traditionaly imaginary outcome that was on her mind out of some stupid situation didnt lost me in a fight, i strated to cry and sobe and eas shocked , i counst put myself together after 4 month... I become different quiet person, no joy, no life, no plans, that my own toughts beggan to presure me coz i dont know how i end up so fucked up... We are still together, but in my hearth i see her as a danger and my body react to that, and i also feel so sorry for fact that im aware this must end and only way is say goodbye....

[@theemotionalabusecounselor]

Thanks for sharing your situation. Personal boundaries are necessary in all relationships. If there are no boundaries, it can lead to co-dependence, a power imbalance, emotional abuse, shame, loss of a sense of self, and other problematic issues. Having appropriate boundaries is the foundation for a healthy relationship.

[@AnthonioB]

​@@theemotionalabusecounselorHow can i reverse this what ever happened to me and is it even possible after u face it, and to start feel joy in life? I always wanna to have family and kids and create life bether than the one i come from but now have no attraction or even sexual desire in any form. I was the person with attitude that if one persone achieved something, every other person can as well! Now i just dont care and dont feel

[@racebannon96]

Still together? 6 years of this? You see her as a danger? You will never have a moment of peace while staying in this "relationship."

[@CarrieB2002]

THANK YOU!!!!!

[@yelshaamarie9294]

holy smokes been married for three months and i already know 100% this is true for me. i had to pay this back 3 times!!! ahhhh. but i don't want to get divorced because i don't believe in divorce.

[@Deepestofoceanicblue]

Then it will only continue.

[@yelshaamarie9294]

@@Deepestofoceanicblue how do i know if it's just in my head or if its real? what if i'm over reacting

[@theemotionalabusecounselor]

Don't ever doubt your impressions and feelings. If it doesn't feel right, it's not right. @@yelshaamarie9294

[@theemotionalabusecounselor]

When our choices bring us a great deal of pain, it's time to reconsider.

[@yelshaamarie9294]

@@theemotionalabusecounselor may I ask if you consider the bible as the word of God? I made a vow to God i in spite of everything in me telling me me not to do it. I have to live with that now. Marriage is a very real union. Divorce is also very serious on a biblical level because marriage is supposed to be a picture of God's love for us- while we were yet sinners God's love for us endures even if we reject Him and blaspheme Him with all of our being. No matter what goes on, he wills the salvation of our souls. He is more concerned with the salvation of our souls than our feelings and that's where I struggle. I think in marriage we are supposed to strive to love our spouse as God loves us. Even though I made the biggest mistake, of my life, marrying someone who appears to resent that I am a human being with my own thoughts, feelings and opinions, and needs and dreams (that i now give to God) I think I am supposed to keep loving him with my actions according to my understanding of Gods design for marriage. And pray that God will deliver me from the suffering. And pray that God would take my husbands heart of stone and give him a heart of flesh. I do NOT WANT to stay married. i made the hugest mistake of my life and cry every single day. I killed myself in a way and warped the trajectory of my life in marrying someone that could care less about me as a person. but WHAT IF the bible is right that God cares us more than anyone could ever care for us- and the places where we suffer the most is where he needs us the most- to shine His light the most in prayer- not against flesh and blood but powers and principalities? I struggle with this and a lot of people do. Essentially, why God allows suffering. It is beyond my comprehension for the most part but I continue to trust in God and I believe His ways are better than my ways. Even though I THINK my way is better. I want to run away but I don't want to be disobedient! May God deliver us all from our suffering, replacing it with His perfect peace- according to His perfect will.

[@babyyodapeakokkin6720]

🤍

[@goldbrick2563]

1:17 respectfully, if you need someone to validate your intuition, your feelings, opinions etc., and make you feel whole...youre not ready for a relationship. No one can do those things for you, its your responsibility to trust yourself and love yourself.

[@theemotionalabusecounselor]

I agree it's your own responsibility to trust and love yourself. If you do, you're much more likely to choose a good partner. But when the person who is supposed to love you instead tears you down, it starts to wear down your confidence. Certainly it's stressful and makes you unhappy.

[@goldbrick2563]

@@theemotionalabusecounselor i understand what you are saying. I guess i just cannot relate because I would never tolerate a partner tearing me down. I never compromise or think twice when someone starts saying negative things to me...i always cut them off immediately. A loving relationship doesnt involve that.

[@theemotionalabusecounselor]

Good for you for not tolerating a partner who tears you down. There's never any reason for abusive behavior. It's also an indication that your abusive partner has serious psychological issues that won't likely be resolved until they take responsibility and understand what drives that behavior.@@goldbrick2563

[@tinamitchell153]

The emotional abuse is, more often than not, accomplished through verbal abuse which takes its toll over time.