The Most Boring Transformers Movie So Far

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[@kyle601]

The boyfriend pulling out the “I can legally date your underaged daughter” card is the most insane thing I’ve seen in a movie

[@onelazynoob15]

Especially since there's no reason they couldn't just make her 18. It literally adds nothing to the plot. Could have been entirely avoided.

[@kade-qt1zu]

Classic Hollywood. They could use the time they spent on that f**king scene on setting up important information on the story, but clearly what they chose was more important.

[@demon-goat]

in a movie for children about giant space robots with swords and missiles

[@Endru85x]

Also, the boy said something like " we are not saving your daughter, but my girlfriend" in other scene. Mark should have ripped his head for this line!

[@p.h.i.lcongure9168]

In a fucking transformers movie

[@Ruune__]

TJ Miller getting obliterated by what killed the dinosaurs is absolutely hysterical

[@herefishyfishy13]

They had me cackling at that bit

[@videobob92]

"Smoking that shit that genocided the dinosaurs, this shit ain't NOTHING to me, man"

[@DarkKnight9030-]

My favorite part about this is that he was written out of the movie cus he kept pissing Michael Bay off.

[@TravisBeckMusic]

Didn’t he have allegations come out around this time as well?

[@guccifer764]

@@TravisBeckMusic Sounds like it was an open secret

[@theverticalgamer5660]

I love how there is a room specifically designed to insult Bumblebee like wtf did he do?

[@judeconnor-macintyre9874]

Also, would anyone even know who Bumblebee is? Like the audience know who he is, but is he even a celebrity in universe?

[@isuckatusernames4297]

meta commentary about bumblebee and the general attitude of the tf fanbase. also, def in character for KSI to have a room for every one of the major transformers.

[@ChangedMyNameFinally69]

Next level hating

[@beabea3770]

I love how the implication is that Optimus's arc is to throw away his morals and kill a human.

[@halfmettlealchemist8076]

The movie setting up Optimus being more dark and grizzled/losing his faith in humanity at the beginning, combined with him vowing to kill whoever’s responsible for massacring the Autobots, makes it seem like he’s going to have a moment at the end where he realizes how far he’s gone and regains his morals and optimism - sort of a “dark night of the soul before the dawn” character arc. But instead…no. Just, no. That doesn’t happen at all. He says he’s going to kill a man, and then he does, and this does not weigh even slightly on his conscience. His character arc is just a straight line, it ends in murder, and the movie does not condemn him for it. It’s *absolutely wild,* and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

[@IllMatic97]

Honestly can't blame him

[@kade-qt1zu]

@@halfmettlealchemist8076 The entirety of Bayverse Optimus' "character development" is simply him becoming more and more remorseless towards killing other bots. There is not even a single moment in the franchise where he ever reflects on himself and wonders if he's changed, wonders if he's become a monster.

[@alexanderguerrero347]

@@kade-qt1zuI mean that’s because in the first 3 movies he doesn’t do anything bad. In movie 1 he’s normal Optimus. In movie 2 he’s normal Optimus as well he sacrificed himself to save Sam. In transformers 3 he gets challenged when sentinel betrays him and he just kills Megatron because he’s tired megatrons bullshit. This movie is the only one where he gets mad because the humans tried to kill him.

[@alexanderguerrero347]

@@halfmettlealchemist8076he doesn’t kill any human though.

[@idilali7398]

Nothing makes you look more like a predator than a laminated card of a state law in your wallet to justify your relationship

[@Awesome_Pichu]

No law that a father can't lay his ass out on the spot

[@besupaaa]

This movie is WEIRD.

[@ThatSamoanGuy]

​@@Awesome_PichuYes there is.

[@ThatSamoanGuy]

When you have to write a whole scene to justify your character dating a minor, its time to stop.

[@ogeid772]

Thing is, what they say in the movie isnt even legally accurate AFAIK, and even if it was, they really didnt need that in the movie, as the actress was 18 when filming it, they just had her character be 17 in the movie just for that scene, for some reason

[@adventure4509]

Fun fact: TJ Miller was so annoying on the set for this movie that Michael Bay decided to kill his character in the most grusome way possible

[@Conduit23]

It really did seem that way, and I don't blame him.

[@somerandolad]

That's one of the best decisions Bay ever made.

[@RSrunner88]

Was this when TJ had the brain tumor?

[@hunterindonesia8986]

rare Michael Bay W

[@MrHorribad]

is this a real fact? i want it to be a real fact

[@captainmichaelstudios]

Optimus becoming an absolute psychopath throughout these movies is really funny. This gentle giant just wanted to defend the humans, and chill with his bros in the first movie, but he slowly became fucking Kratos in these. It's absolutely hilarious

[@bajscast]

It's funny because people defend it with "Well he's been through a lot so he's got a reason to be so aggro" and I mean, maybe, but he was in a war with the decepticons for like 9 million years, nothing in the movies happens that would turn him from "freedom is the right of all sentient beings" to "give me your face" that wouldn't have already happened at some point in their war lmao

[@captainmichaelstudios]

@bajscast transformers 7: optimis gets death penalty for all the war crimes he's committed.

[@surelylune]

​@@captainmichaelstudiosrodimus prime claims the matrix and sentences optimus to death for his crimes

[@GalvyTheTom]

@@bajscasthumans really took their toll on Prime

[@gunnyisgoodboi4846]

@@surelyluneisnt that the plot of the machinma animations

[@mrmaccy90]

I'd like to point out that Peter Cullen, the guy who has voiced Optimus Prime since the 80s, has said how some of the lines he has had to say in these movies goes against the character and yet they still constantly turn Optimus more and more into a homicidal maniac

[@directorforplastic7929]

I think he was specifically referring to his line from Dark of the Moon, “we will kill them all.”

[@mrmaccy90]

@@directorforplastic7929 I think we can agree if he thought that went against the character then the shit he had to say in the next lot of films rubbed him the wrong way too

[@isuckatusernames4297]

*GIVE ME YOUR FACE!!!*

[@liamroberson440]

@@directorforplastic7929He’s said some AOE/TLK stuff too, but that interview about DOTM was the big deal

[@dakotanelson8523]

It's especially sad when you find out that Cullen originally based his performance as Optimus on his older brother, who he looked up to as a hero 😢

[@onixtalks]

Knowing that Mark Wahlberg did time for racially motivated crimes in the past makes that scene with the black lady a TAD AWKWARD.

[@unequivocalsuffering2734]

Just a smidge

[@yumabaeza8851]

For a few seconds I though you meant Marcus when you said mark

[@jamesruth100]

This is the first time I've heard of him doing anything like that, but yeah-after looking it up-Mark Wahlberg has done some absolutely vile shit, and it really makes that scene 100 times more uncomfortable.

[@houseofcheung]

totz, I cannot forgive that guy for what he's done

[@nateharvey1300]

⁠​⁠@@yumabaeza8851yeah 100% thought they meant Cosmonaut White Marcus aka Mark for a sec lol

[@kalebnall3236]

"We got a samurai, a pirate, a dwarf, and Bumblebee." That's one DnD party right there.

[@superxavxii421]

I'm surprised they didn't make that joke lol

[@vincentlance]

Fuck it most people play Kenku as Bumblebee speech wise so why not?

[@furonet138]

Average MTG boardstate

[@halfmettlealchemist8076]

You know what? I’d actually be down to play a Transformers-themed TTRPG session. That sounds rad as hell.

[@user-pz7fr4vg8k]

Fortnite party be like

[@rsotuyo8180]

The way they say "Hey Marcus, why are they going to the corn? Are they hungry?" Cracks me up so much.

[@peacockgames4364]

Every time I hear that, I imagine Mark Wahlberg sticking his head out the window to grab a piece of corn with his mouth before leaving the corn field

[@averysmiley987]

“Like Bumblebee, but better in every way” and “I was expecting a giant car” are the two lines in this movie that are unironically hilarious. Pretty impressive that they were able to pull off even one legitimately humorous moment in this movie considering the fact that they decided to cast TJ Miller

[@superxavxii421]

The giant car one is like top ten lines in the franchise 😂

[@thestain8004]

The fact that he is 100% serious when he says it just makes the line perfect

[@Horrormaster13]

Michael Bay managed to make a 2h and 45m movie that feels like its 4 hours long, and still doesn't have enough time to explain the plot. Incredible.

[@tmac731]

When I first watch it. I thought it wasn’t long enough

[@concept5631]

​@@tmac731 My condolences

[@lesterantenor1026]

​@@tmac731that's what she said

[@randominternetweirdo5479]

In the words of Raiden (1995): "Brilliant, absolutely brilliant"

[@TheKrilicious]

Plot?

[@icedcapplord710]

The scene where Marky Mark was expositing an alien invasion before cracking open a Bud Light and chugging it down in front of business dude was truly when cinema peaked

[@YOUNOTCOOKING]

I die a little inside because this reads as one of those spoof KZbin comments people make..... but its right on the money :(

[@somerandolad]

Even Scorsese would agree with this.

[@ShupperDupper]

I watched this in theaters and it was the only thing I can remember

[@trudreus7327]

The best part is how fast he does it, doesn't even drink it and spits it right after. Literally "there i did your thing Bay, can we go back to the movie?"

[@shawklan27]

​@@trudreus7327it's kinda funny ngl

[@Stigcrafter]

"Shoot it at a Dutch angle so I look more American" these videos always have perfect commentary, no notes

[@ChrisThaCameraman]

"I hate when my jokes become the plot" is the best back of box quote for the entire bayformers run.

[@WardenKaz]

Marcus’s transformers arc is the high quality content I subscribed for

[@SpiderCruncher]

I can relate to that 😂

[@vedpatil2353]

we need to see him watch the 84 movie

[@dylanmcnab2980]

Didn’t the camera cut out in the second one?

[@dasboom7133]

He didnt say what he was doing every five seconds, i was lost.

[@thxjez]

I literally subscribed for the same reason

[@CascadianRanger]

Added note, the Romeo and Juliet law would NOT have covered the relationship with the boyfriend and the daughter. So even by the rules of the movie, that dude is a predator.

[@donnyspeed]

As a kid, I knew that was the most sus scene I had ever watched 😂

[@user-nf8mu5qb7c]

Another person who is dead wrong. She's 17. He's like, 19 or whatever, maybe 20. We can be creeped out al we want, in almost every state, including texas, this is not a predator, especially given they've been dating for years, since he was underage when they started dating or the movie makes it seem that way. I'm not defending the movie, but i can't stand when people think they're virtue signaling but are dead wrong.

[@CascadianRanger]

@user-nf8mu5qb7c nope, the law only covers sexual assault, it does NOT cover relationships between a minor and adult

[@Eldenloss1220]

​@@user-nf8mu5qb7cthe law doesn't cover dating, only sexual assault, you're making this way weird 💀

[@PotionSmeller]

​@@Eldenloss1220This guy is under every comment that mentions this part, defending the fictional sex pest like his life depended on it. He's got personal stakes in this shit.

[@mindlessky545]

TJ millers death traumatized me as a kid So i assumed everyone thought it was brutal But now that I know who TJ miller actually is it’s become the funniest part of the movie 😂

[@sodadrink8363]

Marcus and Dan spending a full minute giggling about TJ Miller’s charred corpse isn’t something I expected from this video but I’m very glad I saw it

[@benitoswagolini3410]

I love how optimus turns from a stoic and peaceful leader to a doomslayer-esque war criminal

[@TheKyleMark]

His catchphrase is literally “I’ll kill you.” It’s the funniest shit.

[@Endru85x]

@@TheKyleMark Getting your head ripped by Optimus is the right of all sentient beings.

[@benitoswagolini3410]

​​@@TheKyleMarkhe literally says "give me your face" in the second movie. He goes from superman to the fucking punisher

[@halfmettlealchemist8076]

And, as of Rise of the Beasts, he is now somehow both of those things, at the same time, and it somehow still works.

[@MusicoftheDamned]

​@@benitoswagolini3410Yeah, Bayformers Optimus Prime has been a psychopath since the very first movie in this series.

[@HadesWTF]

Man. They really had Marky Mark, who had definitely gotten in trouble for IRL racially motivated violence, threaten to bash the first black character on screen with a bat.

[@concept5631]

Oh my God

[@MusicoftheDamned]

Hilariously he's still at best "only" the third most scummy character in the movie after the sex predator dating his daughter and TJ Miller playing TJ Miller like always.

[@concept5631]

@@MusicoftheDamned I wonder who the most scummy person in all 5 movies is.

[@MusicoftheDamned]

@@concept5631 All 6 now, unfortunately; 7 if we're counting _Bumblebee_ too I guess. As someone who tapped out after only one of these movies, the second one, I couldn't tell you definitively, but I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it sadly wasn't Optimus Prime himself given Mr. Bay has him coming off as a psycopath who commits literal war crimes. If we're limiting "person" to just mean human characters though, then I have a hard time conceiving of anyone even in this series of being able to surpass the sexual predator with a laminated card in his wallet as his (incorrect) "defense". Even the traitors to humanity are comparatively less fucked up since they never succeed.

[@concept5631]

@@MusicoftheDamned I was only counting Bayformer films. Bumblebee and RotB are decent.

[@yellowfamilyfunny3065]

I was 14 years old, a literal child in the target demographic, and I STILL remember watching this with complete boredom and asking my parents how long it had left only to find it wasn’t even half way

[@EcomComedy]

The scene of Mark Wahlberg throwing a football at a cia hitman's head then pushing him out a window has to be, for my money, the best scene in the whole franchise. Possibly even the best scene of all time. Simply artistic perfection.

[@judeconnor-macintyre9874]

America! Fuck yeah!

[@sv32099]

Love how even in a random apartment in China he's able to find a football to use

[@manoelheitor9514]

The ending of this movie is 10 times funnier when you see the beginning of the next one and see Optimus didn't make past Jupiter. Just the most incompetent Transformer in everything that's not related to killing things

[@GenericProtagonist118]

Optimus literally said "I must go now, my planet needs me" and died on the way there just like Poochy.

[@davidtheboy448]

Ok Transformers nerd here. The canon explanation is that Optimus realized that he couldn't make it to Cybertron with what he had so he made a pit stop on a planet, fought a dude protecting some energon, fought him, won, took only what he needed, and then took off and went into statis mode so he could arrive on Cybertron with some energy to spare. This was only explained in a prequel comic that was included with the Blu Ray release of TLK but only at Toys R Us. Feel free to shove me into a locker now

[@lesterantenor1026]

​@@davidtheboy448ok next please🤡

[@The_Viktor_Reznov]

​@@davidtheboy448So what, there's a fucking Cybertronian planet just floating before Jupiter?

[@CockroachTheFoul]

​​@@The_Viktor_Reznovnah, some of them are on other bodies in the solar system, like the fallen being on saturn or those dudes chilling on the moon, so there was probably a dude on Mars or some shit

[@hunterindonesia8986]

I remember that when I saw this film in the theaters, I had fallen asleep at the end of the first act, and dreamed of a much better version of the film in my head and for years I thought that the version I dreamed was the real one, until I rewatched the film and was devastated

[@KevinJBernal]

Lmaoooo

[@LazyApe]

What happened in yo dream

[@hunterindonesia8986]

@@LazyApe I don't remember in detail because it's been almost 10 years, but from what I remember, Lockdown had much clearer motivations, the Dinobots appeared a lot more and spoke, and there was an explanation for them be dinosaurs, and also the blonde KSI executive lady got eaten alive by one of the aliens from the Lockdown ship

[@Devo57]

@@hunterindonesia8986holy shit that sounds amazing

[@namelessrv8771]

@@hunterindonesia8986 wanna maybe try script writing? Bet you'd do a better job than the writers for this fuckass series

[@jacobhead7602]

The way the characters describe EVERYTHING happening in a scene sounds like callouts in a shooter game. "We are losing them" "They're on me" "They are shooting at us"

[@sv32099]

God I hope Michael bay never includes a sex scene in these movies "get on top" "I'm in, I'm in" "I'm pushing"

[@matthewhunter1193]

"They're shooting at us!" has real "They fly now!" energy.

[@timestopMachinist]

i think when optimus said he doesnt kill humans, he meant it REALLY literally, like plural humans. he is allowed to kill one at a time.

[@halfmettlealchemist8076]

Optimus is allowed to kill one human, as a treat

[@bensonabernathy4664]

Your comment made me laugh quite a bit.

[@cameronferrell5722]

I wonder if this vow was made before or after he hugged Megatron through a full building in the first movie

[@sv32099]

​@@halfmettlealchemist8076it's his self care day he's earned it

[@BradyBigfooter]

It's adorable that Marcus thought the movie was almost over at the climax.

[@chrispysthename]

I think the guys at Mr. Sunday Movies call it Golden Bay Time or something along those lines. When you think the movie is about to end but it’s still got like another 40 minutes.

[@thepineapplefromouterspace8996]

“That’s the shit that killed the dinosaurs bro” Funniest line in the video

[@severalcakes3267]

“He could not BE MORE DEAD. They just JURASSIC HOLOCAUSTED his ass.”

[@davinci3478]

4:49 Cant believe they didn’t mention that they left actual green screen just out in the open in a billion dollar movie

[@timstronghp]

the fact that there was so little to talk about cause this movie was so boring but there still wasn't a single joke about Katara from The Last Airbender being in it is honestly kinda upsetting

[@Dell-ol6hb]

it's because that movie sucks ass nobody would remember her dogshit performance as Katara

[@ryanjones9765]

This is how I find out this out lol

[@ryleey9853]

My mind is blown lmao I didn't realize it was her

[@timstronghp]

@@ryleey9853 I was like "wait who is that I know her" the first time she appeared and then in the next scene it hit me because I'd rewatched the Last Airbender Picture Show recently

[@superxavxii421]

I forgot she was in this 😂

[@reizak8966]

This movie is actually very progressive in accessibility. They exposit so much information through telling instead of just showing so that blind people can follow along with what's happening.

[@222LoneWolf]

The next generation of audio captioning will just be a tj miller AI-bot screaming at you the whole movie. Amazing.

[@kezia8027]

Don't forget that they made it extra accessible for kids by removing story, morals, consistency, or any real points or topics to make you think! Just lots of bright colours flashing up on screen! yayy! cinematic masterpiece

[@deykuzor]

Kinda nice they made sure the man Mark Wahlberg blinded could enjoy Mark Wahlberg movies

[@anthonyvillanueva5226]

Maybe the next one will have Braille

[@222LoneWolf]

@@anthonyvillanueva5226 Even better: the aforementioned tj miller bot tapping a Morse code plot summary into your forehead - while also screaming it at you

[@kernc7786]

"Why is an alien robot... Japanese?" I choked on my drink

[@ryantyanmyan2528]

“We got a pirate, a samurai, a dwarf, and bumblebee.” Can describe most D&D parties

[@janine7384]

If they had a pre-existing relationship before he was 18 that means when he was 17 he was dating a 14 year old. Good job Michael Bay.

[@christianmarkham2891]

To be fair to the movie, the full line was “I have sworn to never kill humans ...but when I find out who's behind this, he's going to die”. He was actually renouncing the vow.

[@MusicoftheDamned]

Honestly makes sense to renounce a vow that Mr. War Criminal never really kept in the first place given all of the collateral damage he doesn't ever do much to lessen.

[@officialmonarchmusic]

Marcus unfortunately has a reputation for using arguments out of context, even sometimes for movies that are already bad

[@The_Viktor_Reznov]

Yeah, the joke never landed for me for that reason.

[@wuhlfzebayne]

​@@officialmonarchmusicwell this is also a video that is just a highlight reel for a long ass transformers movie commentary

[@officialmonarchmusic]

@@wuhlfzebayne Fair, but it’s hard not to see the patterns. Also Marcus keeps using the first part of the line even after it

[@samgradyfilm]

Thank you for these. There's been a wave of people reacting to the Michael Bay transformers movies lately in a positive way and it makes me feel like I'm losing my mind.

[@sodadrink8363]

ah yes, what i like to call the star wars prequel effect: people only looking at the cool surface-level stuff in things from their childhood while ignoring the bad things, or straight up being revisionist and pretending that those things were actually genius from the beginning

[@isuckatusernames4297]

I mean, they were a part of my childhood, so I don't have an unbiased opinion of them

[@billcipher3946]

@@sodadrink8363Yes exactly, you spoke my mind about Michael Bay transformers franchise.

[@Calmoose415]

@@sodadrink8363 At least the star wars prequels had some direction with their story and characters, and weren't constantly making sex and racist jokes.

[@presidente8822]

Perspective is crucial with this type of film. As a kid I thought this was the coolest shit ever. When you grow up it has lost all the magic.

[@Endru85x]

I was 22 when first movie came out and there was some magic IMO. The opening speech by Cullen, first appearance ofAutobots, highway fight.....then it got dumber and dumber, and even the baysplosions get boring.

[@superxavxii421]

I thought it was alright as a kid, but now it's the second worst imo. Last Knight was the last straw for me. I'm glad Bumblebee was made to fix things

[@Karlach_]

The first 4 Transformer movies are my guilty pleasure. They fall into the "so bad it's good" category for me.

[@DatWizard]

@@superxavxii421Last Knight was by far the worst one.

[@themen115]

There's so many random things that make this movie weirder and worse. Like Mark Walberg is supposed to be hardcore Texan but they didn't bother having him do the accent. I don't think they noticed, but the daughter was also Katara in the Avatar movie. The infamous Romeo and Juliet Law scene isn't even using the law correctly, and he could still get arrested and up to 20 years in jail on top of being a registered sex offender. And because this was a Transformers movie being heavily funded by China at the time, they had to shoot all the action in Hong Kong, include a Chinese action actress, and there are random Chinese tech gadgets used throughout the movie before they even get to Hong Kong.

[@MusicoftheDamned]

Wait. The person who plays Katara in _The Movie That Does Not Exist in Ba Sing Se_ also plays the daughter here? God damn her agent must have really fucking hated her.

[@user-nf8mu5qb7c]

He could not be arrested since she's 17 and texas law applies to anyone 16 and under being groomed by anyone over 18. So.

[@demiliomason1565]

​@@user-nf8mu5qb7c but they state in the movie they've been dating for 3 years. Meaning they started when he was 17 and she was 14.

[@NepetasShippingWall1642]

@@MusicoftheDamned"the movie that does not exist in ba sing se" XD

[@judeconnor-macintyre9874]

I heard that it became a meme in China that Texas had so many Chinese appliances.

[@nomorok15]

What I take from this is that I NEED a Transformers Movie featuring an Amish Guy as the MC who is just thoroughly stressed out all the time by all the machines

[@jakubhejna6301]

Never forget that this movie went out of it's way to depict a helpless Hong Kong requesting aid from the Chinese military. And the characters vocalizing their thoughts to make the movie easier to understand from reading subtitles. I wonder what the primary market for this product was...

[@apenasmaisumdiogo.7115]

It really is an achievement how this movie manages to make propaganda for American AND Chinese military

[@aarondolney4178]

Im not really surprised that the boyfriend pulled out the "can legally date your daughter card" considering when Micheal Bay first met Megan Fox he had her put on a bikini bathe under a waterfall and had watched her shower...she was 16 by the way when that happened so yeah...😬 Speaks for itself.

[@ArturoGonzalez-di6rd]

One of the few movies I’ve ever seen where it actively felt like I was losing Brain Cells.

[@sebastienmagloire1139]

There’s multiple movies like that bud 😂b

[@ArturoGonzalez-di6rd]

⁠@@sebastienmagloire1139 At least the previous movies in this series were funny bad. This movie is not only bad, but it’s also long and boring.

[@codycarney2311]

Just wait for "The Last Knight"

[@line4169]

how can you count brain cells past zero

[@ArturoGonzalez-di6rd]

⁠@@codycarney2311 Don’t get me wrong, The Last Knight sucks so much ass, but I found it mildly amusing. Which is something I can’t say about this movie. It’s like how Marcus finds Catwoman really bad, but in a fun way, and how he finds BvS to be really bad but not in a fun way.

[@KungFuWombat]

"It's called"Story yelling" had me dying lol. Say what you want about the Transformers movies, but they have inspired some brilliant reaction and analysis videos.

[@lichkingsservant4111]

The whole story yelling to “You don’t get it, that’s the shit that killed the dinosaurs,” was so funny

[@Jaxymann]

Marcus saying "I HaVe sWorN tO nEVer KiLL hUManS" and then immediately showing someone getting absolutely murked gets *infinitely funnier* every time it happens

[@leomorris7573]

this movie is the reason my insane highschool ex girlfriend spent 5 minutes explaining romeo and juliet laws to me back when i was 16 and she had just turned 18 after i made a joke about it technically being illegal for us to date anymore. this was far from the worst thing she did but will remain in my mind forever because romeo and juliet laws arent even a thing in my state

[@halfmettlealchemist8076]

Y I K E S

[@leomorris7573]

@shahryarkhan748 i mean the worst things she did gave me a ptsd diagnosis but the funniest terrible thing she did was tell me she wasnt going to attend my 18th birthday party (like a month before i left town to go to college, the last time we'd get to celebrate it together) because she had a dbz fighting game tournament on that day (it was a weekly tournament she attended every week) and when i started crying she accused me of trying to emotionally manipulate her and it confused me so much that i stopped crying. she also famously once went on a long rant about how childish i was and how i was a self destructive toxic person then blocked my number and didnt talk to me for a week because i was, get this, using my phone while i had a cold

[@halfmettlealchemist8076]

@@leomorris7573 Jesus fucking Christ, that’s almost comically evil behavior on her part. I sincerely hope you’re doing better now - thank God you got out of there when you had the chance.

[@igg7865]

this movie is only like 2 hours and it felt like it was 4, genuinely the longest film experience ive ever had

[@thegoodreylo4749]

Meanwhile The Lord of the Rings movies fly by quickly because of how good they are.

[@wes186]

It's technically closer to 3 but you aren't wrong. It's the only movie where I actually turned up the playback speed because it just wasted soooooo much time.

[@AgentofChaos315]

Reportedly Michael Bay absolutely hated working with TJ Miller so much he rewrote the script to kill him off and took great joy filming the scene he dies

[@sv32099]

If that's true that explains why we got so much screentime devoted to showing his corpse

[@GenericProtagonist118]

It took me WAAYYY too long to realize this, but the movie literally has two separate plots... *that never intersect.* The only connecting fiber between the evil corpo robots and the alien bounty hunter is the Dinobots, who came from Locldown's ship and were used to fight the Corpo Decepticons. However Galvatron and Lockdown never meet or acknowledge each other.

[@taydoingthings549]

My favourite headcannon for these films is that all the violence and warfare on cybertron was completely fine to Optimus, but somehow three films of human bullshit was the last straw on his peaceful attitude and so for the next films he just gives up and leaned into whatever fights he has to

[@Jackson.1911]

I was 12 when this came out and I saw it in theaters with my cousin and uncle, I distinctly remember being in the theater and realizing for the first time movies can be bad and not worth going to the movies to see lol this movie single handedly made me realize art can be bad lol

[@benperez8291]

Man idk why but watching them now makes me gag. They are sooo poorly paced

[@andresabantoenns9697]

I had the exact same revelations with transformers 2 lmao

[@daffyf6829]

Then the movie served a purpose... Thank you Michael Bay

[@Geospasmic]

Everybody has that one movie. For me it was The Neverending Story 2.

[@noahvance6160]

​@@GeospasmicFor me it was Howard the Duck. Let's just say I didn't expect to see a movie where Lea Thompson and a duck slept together. 😂

[@mynameisharry8739]

"Why can't Optimus be a plane?" Not all Transformers can fly, so when one is not a flying vehicle it's usually assumed that it's cause they can't fly. Hilariously enough the movie does contradict this with Optimus being able to fly out of nowhere

[@Crimson.Creates]

"ThEY FlY nOw?!"

[@prathapkutty7407]

​@@Crimson.Createsthey fly now!

[@PocketBroccoli]

I remember that he got those rocket boots when he got the knight sword in the ship, but it’s very “show not tell” so it makes it hard to see where he got them at first

[@GenericProtagonist118]

@@prathapkutty7407 They all fly down here....

[@mynameisharry8739]

@@PocketBroccoli Yeah it's kinda poorly communicated. Everything related to Optimus' past is kinda just thrown in there without much explanation like: "Optimus was a knight of Cybertron and travelled on the Temenus. When? Idunno." "The dinobots are also knights. What's their relation to Optimus and the knights? Does Optimus know them? Idunno." "The magic sword upgraded Optimus. Why? Was it his? Idunno." Ironically the one time the movie SHOULD give an explanation on something and tell you what's going on, it doesn't.

[@wafflyshark82a4]

I'm genuinely scared for when Marcus watches The Last Knight since not even the die hard fans of Transformers like to acknowledge it's existence

[@snowmorepuns]

10:40 I've been waiting so long for them to react to this because I was traumatized by this scene as a kid sitting in the front row of the theater. to the point I pretended to sleep the rest of the movie 😭. for a while I thought I made it up because I couldn't believe they made so many transformers movies, I thought this was the first one

[@cleansocks75]

Crazy how they snuck one of the best movie lines of all time into this movie with the “I was expecting a giant car” banger

[@God_gundam36]

Probably one of the only lines in the entire bayverse that resembles the tone of transformers lol

[@fivestarman5130]

Marcus's commitment to these films in spite of the suffering they've brought him, both when he's reacting to them and when he inevitably gets copyright striked when the video is released, is next level impressive

[@blootooth00]

I hate that these movies make it impossible to be a transformers fan, and instead i have to be a transformers defender. Cosmonaught, if you see this comment, remember when you were talking about super hero adaptations, and you said, "Movies have a huge impact on what the public thinks of a set of characters. Everyone thinks the Fantastic 4 are lame because the movies sucked, but the Fantastic 4 are actually the best"? That exact effect has happened to the Transformers brand, except somehow, it's so much more cynically toy driven and repulsively stupid. If you ever do decide to look beyond the films, read the IDW Transformers run, and start with the series "All Hail Megatron." In that comic, Megatron succeeds in taking down the autobots, and proceeds to destroy like a quarter of the human population. Its got great interactions between Megatron and Starscream, and the autobots are just forced to deal with the fact that their galaxy wide operation has been decimated. The next series, simply titled "The Transformers Ongoing Series" is about how everyone is feeling in the aftermath of that calamity, but the best part is the start getting into the space opera that is the origin of the Transformers Civil War, and what tore them all apart. Then in the next phase, the comics let all the characters process who they are now that the war is over, with Decepticons and Autobots having to rebuild their world. This phase also includes what most people agree is the best iteration of the transformers, "More than Meets The Eye," which is an absolutely charming, hilarious, and well-written series with a very Star Trek type feel. Perfect cast, gorgeous comic art, and delightful vibes. Also, no humans for most of the IDW Continuity run, wich is always a blessing. There are faults in those comics, but the characters are so good, and Megatron's entire story is so well done. Optimus also is a complete snd total badass, but not a psychopath rage-aholic like in these god-forsaken movies.

[@Endru85x]

You put it so well, man. I grew up with Transformers since 1990. In poor Poland which was dealing with fall of communism, comics, bootleg toys and animated show with lousy translation were something that brought a bit of hope into everyday life. For some time, l lost contact with Transformers, but when first movie was announced i was very excited, i decided to reread comics and check on animated shows a bit. The final result of Bay work was far from perfect, but hearing Cullen speech at the beginning or autobots first appearance had some sort of magic. Then it quickly went downhill, including the action scenes which turned into shaky mess with giant clumps of matter just clashing and shooting. Good thing is we still got comics which proves than Transformers have potential for being more than CGI bullshit with juvenile jokes.

[@SongbirdAlom]

"Cause I'm coming" "HE'S COMING?" had me wheezing for 5 whole minutes.

[@adammulvihill2048]

This movie is so inventive that they were able to get the Sears Tower to cameo in a shot that takes place in Hong Kong. Mad respect

[@adrenalinevan]

Marcus your friend is by far the most Welsh looking American I have ever seen. If they practiced the accent they could infiltrate a rugby team.

[@demon-goat]

I believe they use they/them pronouns

[@adrenalinevan]

​@@demon-goatwoops didn't even know their name so

[@demon-goat]

@@adrenalinevan no problem I'd make the same mistake if I didn't know haha

[@prathapkutty7407]

Wait marcus uses they them pronouns?

[@demon-goat]

@@prathapkutty7407oh not marcus no, the other person in these videos (i think their name is Coda? i tried to give their tw!tter tag but it looks like the comment got deleted for some reason)

[@GoobzGaming]

I remember seeing this with my younger cousin in the theater, and when Optimus Prime jumped off of the dinosaur transformer and said "I'll kill you" I laughed until my face felt like it was gonna fall off. Truly remarkable filmaking.

[@casualfanatic4217]

The one thing that hooked me was the lore reveal of the Creators. I was really curious about who these aliens were and why they built the Transformers. But then Michael Bay forgot his movie in the next one

[@jayse324]

Him having the statute card and then explaining it is the best part. Its because she's 17 and he would have to be dating her before he was 18 for it to be okay. Which means at the very least he was 17 and she was 14 when they started dating.

[@halfmettlealchemist8076]

The best part is that the statue he pulls out is actually _explained incorrectly._ While the existence of a pre-existing relationship between those two does technically mean that their relationship is still legal, the statute does _not_ protect the boyfriend from the crime of committing sexual acts with a minor, as Tessa is still below the age of consent. So even within the context of the movie, that guy can still be convicted as a sex offender under Texas law.

[@gamemaster6450]

Hey Marcus, so fun fact: the girl who plays Cade Yaeger’s daughter is Katara from The Last Airbender… that poor actress can’t catch a break

[@masterbeaver]

She fought The Fire Nation and evil Transformers, but neither could have prepared her for the deadliest boss battle of her life: Posh Spice!

[@captainbrexit6730]

The only reason she has a job in acting is because she has a really rich father, I don’t pity her

[@kin-3877]

Her dad cast her as katara because she was his daughter but had zero acting skill. And then since katara was now white, sokka had to be white too. So they changed multiple characters because of nepotism.

[@holup4990]

​@@kin-3877gives the last airbender a whole new feeling. Seems like M night hated that choice so much that he made it bad on purpose to ruin her life.

[@unbannablebanjo3744]

The constant, genuinely good Optimus prime impressions kill me every single video. "Uh... no, he's dead"

[@thehaloscrolls391]

To be fair to the “I vowed never to kill a human” line immediately after he says “When I find who did this, he is going to die” Doesn’t make it any less insane that OPTIMUS PRIME said this

[@regulardude3397]

I love how Optimus is a truck to remain honorable, but he'll execute someone point-blank with a shotgun with no qualms, queries or questions

[@sebastiansuazo2734]

That's not a thing

[@waino9960]

i like how u know damn well the transformer vids are an event and do everything u can to not get them taken down. we appreciate it :)

[@bensonabernathy4664]

10:00 Also Optimus Prime later in the film, "I've sworn to never kill humans."

[@bensonabernathy4664]

11:36 "They just jurrassic Holocausted his a**"." Dude I lost it. I was laughing so hard.

[@bensonabernathy4664]

8:26 I never knew an Attack on Titan character secretly did a job of writing these Transformers films. Although kind of explains why the Transformers films were not that good. Kruger was busy with his secret mission in Marley, that he just had to come up with something not caring for the quality.

[@guccifer764]

So when does Top Gun Maverick come into play?

[@RazingKain]

​@@guccifer764the floating boat in the Rumbling arc

[@iwantsleep7264]

And the main characters name ends in Yeager… hey…. Maybe you’re onto something

[@halfmettlealchemist8076]

In all seriousness, the fact that the screenwriter for this movie went on to write _Top Gun Maverick_ is honestly really impressive. Like, that man legit had an entire character arc to improve his writing skills that far over the past ten years. Good for him.

[@bensonabernathy4664]

@@halfmettlealchemist8076 Agreed.

[@Soguwe]

This was the first movie where I learned that movies can be bad The scars of that experience still haunt me

[@RamadaArtist]

17:22 "I kind of wish we just had a movie only about the Transformers." If you haven't done it yet, you should watch the 1987 animated Transformers: The Movie. It's AMAZING, for one, but also there are like only two humans total in the entire movie and we visit something 5 or more robot planets throughout the course of the movie. And Orson Wells plays a transforming Death Star that eats planets. Also, if you want the true Michael Bay's Transformers by Fromsoft, you should go play Metal Wolf Chaos. You literally play as the president of the United States in a giant mech suit.

[@ravencarino6115]

"I was expecting a giant car" is legitimately the most hilarious line from the movie series and it's not... Bad funny or out of context funny or ironic funny. It legitimately is just hilarious

[@AngelReyes-lc4mw]

I want to remind people that Marky Mark’s daughter is Katara from the Avatar the last airbender live action movie. This is the second bad movie she’s in.

[@ReedBariumfox]

Its alwats nice to see PointlessHub's Transformers review videos alongside these, as youre glad to know they lift the exact same issues. Thank you for the continuous suffering through this video series, Marcus and Dan.

[@tonybippitykaye]

I’ll still never forget watching this film in theaters: it was the scene of them crossing those wobbling strands from the ship and the ship was charging up something…oh my god, the bass was so damn loud that I could feel my organs vibrating and it made me nauseous. This is the only film that ever physically harmed me in some way.

[@DexBolts]

The funniest thing about this is that I made a pitch for a Transformers movie about farming family buying a tractor that ends up being an Autobot like 4 months ago. I don’t expect it to go anywhere but I did get reminded of it.

[@xo3336]

A year later Finally a new cosmonaut variety hour Transformers reaction video we literally get one every year 😂

[@louiiiiiiiiiiis]

"It’s insane but it’s consistent" pretty much sums up the movie

[@killer92173]

11:18 that little sketch they made is better than the whole movie.

[@dakotanelson8523]

These movies can show me the most batshit crazy revisionist world history of how Transformers were involved in the extinction of the Dinosaurs, King Arthur, WW2 and the moon landing and I'll forget about it all like a month later, just leaving me with a lingering feeling of befuddlement and annoyance for reasons I won't be able to recall on my own, because that's just how these movies are.

[@mikesworld6064]

I just want to take a moment and thank you guys so much for your commitment towards reacting to the Transformers films. After the year of hell trying to reupload the last film's commentary video along with the waves of copyright claims on the two before that, both of you had all the reason to just call it quits and move on to something else. And yet, despite everything, you pushed through and gifted us another banger. The TF3 picture show is probably one of my personal favorites of yours and I can't wait to see what comes next. The suffering is almost over, just one more film...

[@jacobgraves3823]

Might be cool for they guys to watch the original animated transformers movie from the 80s, the ratio of humans to robots is reversed and the dumb parts are still fun. Soundtrack slaps too

[@edmxero2029]

Not only does love interest have case law for dating girls younger than him just ready to go in his brain....he also carries a copy of it lmao. Craziest part in the movie easily

[@sv32099]

Yeah like he's not even reading the card or off his phone he just has the statute memorized for what exactly

[@nore9580]

Ehren Kruger going from writing transformers 4 to writing top gun maverick is one of the greatest character arcs I have ever seen

[@crazyyenii]

I'm glad you are watching this. Cause other than the Romeo and Juliet scene I literally cannot remember anything from this movie. I'm pretty sure I ended up moving into a different movie showing

[@amberwingtundrawing776]

I remembered "The Beats Pill"

[@ubermaster1]

@@amberwingtundrawing776 No joke, I just remember that at some point in the movie, it just shifts to China because these movies do REALLY well in China and it was an obvious product placement spree.

[@kade-qt1zu]

@@amberwingtundrawing776 TrAnSfOrIuM

[@Ghost_Gaming1899]

Ah yes, the Transformers movie where Megatron is made of evil legos. Clearly the best one.

[@darth_meme_lord2980]

8:33 So fun fact, this establishing shot was supposed to introduce an autobot. There was even some concept art, but due to issues with the budget, he was cut from the film. At least, i think it was the budget

[@Ostyak_01]

Honestly, I kind of love how murderous Optimus Prime is in these things. I almost threw up because I was laughing so hard when he just summarily executes that one autobot at point blank range when he’s begging for mercy. “NO OPTIMUS!THE GENEVA CONVENTION PROHIBITS-“

[@JLunaarS]

17:21 "I kinda wish we had a movie only about the Transformers" alright pack it up everyone, Marcus is officially a fan now.

[@Jesse-xg8rk]

They should include the 80s cartoon movie in the Transformers picture show series once they finish all the live action ones. There's a movie only about the Transformers for you.

[@superxavxii421]

This is a fact. He's asking for the movie we TF fans have all been waiting for. Now he needs to see the shows and see the good sides of Transformers.

[@tomtim9764]

I already liked you but seeing Beastars and Junji Ito‘s Uzumaki in the background makes me appreciate you even more!

[@galactic1776]

My favorite part of this movie is when it just goes to China for no particular reason so they can pander to the audience there

[@bensonabernathy4664]

I'm just starting to watch, but I am super excited to see this video. Your last Cosmonaut Picture Shows of Transformers are great, entertaining, and hilarious. Super hyped. I literally stopped hat I was doing to watch this video, as soon as I saw this video uploaded.

[@bensonabernathy4664]

5:07 "This sh** is racially motivated." I lost it. I was giggling for several minutes.

[@Chaseouterspace]

No way he started speaking JAPANESE 💀💀💀💀💀23:14

[@switzrr]

as someone who loved Bumblebee I'm looking forward to you rewatching it; even if you still don't like it the second time I hope you'll at least have a newfound appreciation for it after watching this

[@Quasar_Fox]

when you need to watch a video IMMEDIATELY because of fear it might get taken offline again