The Real Reason for Marriage - Prof. Jordan Peterson

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Jordan Peterson Fan Channel

Jordan Peterson Fan Channel

6 жыл бұрын

Jordan Peterson is a Canadian clinical psychologist, author and psychology professor at the University of Toronto. In this excerpt of his lecture series “Maps of Meaning” he shares his insightful views on the reasons for marriage and makes a strong but not uncontroversial case against divorce. Head over to Dr. Peterson’s own KZbin channel for his full lectures:
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This clip is an excerpt of “2017 Maps of Meaning 6: Story and Metastory (Part 2)”:
• 2017 Maps of Meaning 0...
You may also be interested to know that Jordan B. Peterson's book “12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos” is finally available. You can find it here:
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Don't miss out on his best selling first book “Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief” which much of his lecture material is based on:
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The above are Amazon affiliate links.
Please visit www.psyche-matters.net for categorized clips and more Jordan B. Peterson related content!

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@PsycheMatters
@PsycheMatters 2 жыл бұрын
If you enjoy Dr. Peterson's lectures you may be interested to know that his self narrated audiobooks “12 Rules for Life” amzn.to/2ipaBnQ (US) / amzn.to/2kpdXv9 (UK) / amzn.to/2jTRq67 (CA) and "Beyond Order" amzn.to/31EgIhP (US) / amzn.to/3wyochN (UK) / amzn.to/3EXzGON (CA) are currently available FOR FREE with the Amazon Audible trial program. The above are Amazon affiliate links.
@enlightenfreemason3656
@enlightenfreemason3656 Жыл бұрын
Lol dumb ass getting married Smart men don’t get married Cause smart man know Break up in relationship Break up in marriage Cheat in relationship Cheat in marriage Bored in relationship Bored in marriage Live together in relationship Live together in marriage Sex in relationship Sex in marriage Then lose all ur shit in divorce court and yr finances lol Ya poor clueless bastard Ah give it few years they will break up & divorce It’s always comes to end Marriage so pointless an scam lol Break up in marriage so easily as u break up so easily in relationship Yeah should of just stayed in relationship Smart man knows this all Lol marriage is for idiots an uneducated Marriage is corporate scam who do u think creates rings An dress and suit the coperations that profit off of the people Or can just live bachelor life an do what u want a life of freedom
@hawaiiman33
@hawaiiman33 Жыл бұрын
A marriage is A connection between two beings that were bonded by father during the very beginning of his process of creation, when he used his eternal light to create our beings. Not married in a church. Plus, you do not need a piece of paper to legalize your bond with your mate.
@SeektheLordsface
@SeektheLordsface Жыл бұрын
Have you noticed the use of our saviors name as a cuss word Mr Peterson?
@southernmostrebel
@southernmostrebel Жыл бұрын
Peterson bows down to satan and kisses the popes ass. How do you respond to this reality??
@notofit9520
@notofit9520 6 жыл бұрын
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -Socrates
@iamsultana
@iamsultana 5 жыл бұрын
I just love how one sided this idea is. Way to rid yourself off any responsibility.
@57aflo
@57aflo 5 жыл бұрын
Well NotOflt, Katherine Hepburn was just as good at turning a phrase as Socrates. She said "If you wish to exchange admiration from many men, for criticism from one, then go ahead, get married."
@avifb
@avifb 5 жыл бұрын
Gold.
@madman2u
@madman2u 5 жыл бұрын
@Crystal Ball We need better abortion laws, as in always favoring abortion regardless of which party wanting it. As of now it's incredibly one sided and the man always get screwed. It's just a matter of how screwed. It's always the woman's choice whether she keeps it or not and this is not fair on anyone. At least if the abortion happens even though the man doesn't want it(as it is now), he'll get over it faster than a man who didn't want a child and got one because she decided to keep it. He'll be emotionally invested for life and stuck with financial responsibilities for the next 18 years. So pretty much screwed. There's a lot of wisdom in the saying that you shouldn't put your dick in crazy. It takes two people to procreate and if one doesn't want children then this should be respected. If she doesn't want to abort then tough luck. Whether she does it early when it's safe or later when it's not so safe is her choice, but the abortion will happen regardless on the basis that nobody should be financially or emotionally invested against their will. Abortion is perfectly valid and moral. What's immoral in my opinion is to bring an unwanted child into a world where its parents aren't prepared for it. If one has a problem with abortion then one should also have a problem with living, because you're essentially killing non-sentient life every second you're alive. Just because it looks human it doesn't mean it has a higher value. Too bad such change won't happen anytime soon. So how is this related to marriage you may ask. Well, many do get married because they get pregnant and have odd notions of morality when it comes to life, or at least the woman(who's full of hormones) does. She'll get over the abortion just as easy as he would. Actual lives doesn't have to be ruined and she can find another person to try to trap. Maybe then men can gain back some trust in women. Generalizing happens regardless if we agree with it or not, but it's somewhat understandable due to how many manipulative women are out there. Men are manipulative too, probably as much as women, but at least they can't get pregnant.
@bt7846
@bt7846 5 жыл бұрын
@Eddie Avinashi You are sweating.
@brendaschwieterman1350
@brendaschwieterman1350 4 жыл бұрын
I’ve been married to my childhood sweetheart for 33 years. My husband, a young attorney, was convicted of a felony for transferring $3,500 to a bank account - trying to move from a firm to his own firm. This was 20 years ago. We ended up losing our house, cars and going bankrupt. We had no alternative but to get through it, along with our four young children. For a short time, we had to use food stamps. Eventually, I got a teaching job and my husband got the courage to deliver pizzas. Now he uses his computer science degree and works for a small start up company. We still struggle to earn a big income, but we are so proud of our marriage and our kids are happy and productive, leading meaningful lives. It can be done. Keep looking forward. ❤️ As always, Peterson is right!
@brendaschwieterman1350
@brendaschwieterman1350 4 жыл бұрын
Vic the Catholic Kid Thank you. 🤗 It’s easy when you truly love your spouse. My husband has been my best friend since age 11.
@ianrajulla4460
@ianrajulla4460 4 жыл бұрын
May the forces keep you guys together until eternity.
@brendaschwieterman1350
@brendaschwieterman1350 4 жыл бұрын
Ian Rajulla Thank you. A promise is a promise, right? Our lives are hard, as we often battle with what could have been. I’m referring primarily to the financial aspects. But, we are determined to get through it.
@bilgekaankaplan1141
@bilgekaankaplan1141 4 жыл бұрын
in these days people prefer running to someone else rather than doing what you did. i know in somewhere of my life things will be go down so hard. i hope i wont be alone. your story is the encourage that i search for. i hope my marrige be like yours.
@brendaschwieterman1350
@brendaschwieterman1350 4 жыл бұрын
Bilgekaan Kaplan Yes, a lot of people search for happiness outside of themselves - meaning they don’t look at how they contributed to the problem. In our story, I was not innocent. I was reckless with money and put my husband in a bad spot. We could’ve gotten divorced and had people take sides, finding fault in the other person. It was not easy, but we muddled through, probably for our kids at first. Now they are gone and we’d never consider divorce. We’ve learned a ton.
@LittleWateryNotes
@LittleWateryNotes 2 жыл бұрын
My husband and I have been married for 11 years. We made a promise to stick it out because we both came from divorced parents at a young age and didn't want the same thing for ourselves. Marriage is not easy, but it also beautiful and worth it.
@enlightenfreemason3656
@enlightenfreemason3656 Жыл бұрын
Lol dumb ass getting married Smart men don’t get married Cause smart man know Break up in relationship Break up in marriage Cheat in relationship Cheat in marriage Bored in relationship Bored in marriage Live together in relationship Live together in marriage Then lose all ur shit in divorce court and yr finances lol Ya poor clueless bastard Ah give it few years they will break up & divorce It’s always comes to end Marriage so pointless an scam lol Break up in marriage so easily as u break up so easily in relationship Yeah should of just stayed in relationship Smart man knows this all Lol marriage is for idiots an uneducated
@user-yc2ge6hp8i
@user-yc2ge6hp8i Жыл бұрын
Why did you get married? I personally want to get married, but I can’t find any other reason besides tradition, which seems too superficial for me. Can you please elaborate? Without putting religion into the picture?
@krystingrant6292
@krystingrant6292 Жыл бұрын
Damn. Stick it out even through cheating? 😞
@femiairboy94
@femiairboy94 Жыл бұрын
What I don’t understand is this…if marriage is not easy why get into it? I understand if you say that for a job.
@enlightenfreemason3656
@enlightenfreemason3656 Жыл бұрын
@@user-yc2ge6hp8i it bullshit & pointless tradition Break up in relationship An break up in marriage just called divorce Even cheat in marriage and break up An cheat in marriage break up
@givepeaceachance940
@givepeaceachance940 10 ай бұрын
I was raised in a happy two parent home, and yes it made all the difference. I am grateful for my mother and father every day
@zoeyanaqvi-zn7482
@zoeyanaqvi-zn7482 7 ай бұрын
❤ God bless you always ! Ameen
@PlaTaNo621
@PlaTaNo621 3 ай бұрын
I grew up in a single parent household to which my parents were cordial enough to co-parent. I gotta say, it'd be much better if they were together. I didn't turn out too bad: good job, with a loving family of my own, but I can't help but wonder what advantages did I miss because I was in a (more or less) broken home...
@chepaco3290
@chepaco3290 5 жыл бұрын
It's a sad thing today when you hear of someone celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and people act surprised.
@pursuingpeas8236
@pursuingpeas8236 5 жыл бұрын
Zack G even sadder is when you say you’ve been married 10 and people think it’s amazing
@BrandonAEnglish
@BrandonAEnglish 4 жыл бұрын
What's even worse than that is when one person says "Wow" and another person says "Yeah, they were very traditional." What??????!!!!
@ryanweston9677
@ryanweston9677 4 жыл бұрын
Marriage serves less and less of a purpose in this day and age. Feminism basically single handedly cause this
@KleWdSide
@KleWdSide 4 жыл бұрын
It was different back then. Let's face it... a millennial marriage will not last 50 years. Shit, it won't probably last a 1/4 of that.
@SleepDaMouse-xd8dn
@SleepDaMouse-xd8dn 4 жыл бұрын
Sad for you. I hope they never make a rise again
@jameswallace5967
@jameswallace5967 5 жыл бұрын
I like the saying.... Men go onto marriage hoping nothing will change. Woman go into marriage hoping everything will change.
@anneb889
@anneb889 5 жыл бұрын
Michael That’s interesting that the prime emotion in men is fear, and women anger. I would have thought the opposite. I thought men seem angry the shrew of the wife ruined his good time, and women fear being alone. Anger and humor seem to be the only emotions we allow men to express. What I seem to notice about married men....they usually don’t seem interested in spending time with the wife and kids. It’s like he proposed....but above a post says he doesn’t want things to change. But having a family changes things. So when the wife is running down the soccer games, piano lessons, barbecues, and errands that have to be run, and in his head he’s thinking how can I get out of this crap....I sometimes think, why did you want to get married? I am not judging....if you rather play video games, go out drinking with your friends, binge watch Star Trek, etc, that’s fine, it’s your life. But then being in a relationship, having kids.....probably isn’t going to work if those are your priorities. Your wife and kids want to spend time with you. They want your attention and approval. And then acting like everything is a chore, just makes me wonder.....what did he think a wife and kids were going to be like? That he would have all his free time like before? Many married couples seem to be living separately together. Many say marriage is out dated. It still seems like the best way to raise kids though. Possibly we have to come up with a better system if kids are involved.
@SchoolofDivinePhilosophy
@SchoolofDivinePhilosophy 5 жыл бұрын
Hahahahaha. Maybe not everything.... but rings true....
@ChannelIkar01
@ChannelIkar01 5 жыл бұрын
@@Michael That's interesting way of looking at it and I agree, based on my relationship experience with my exgf. We were both slacking at school, I was a video game addict, she had/has inferiority complex about her body. As two irresponsible wretches, it was "obvious" that we would break up eventually. I think we both loved each other WAY more than we loved ourselves as individuals. We both tried our best though and I don't feel resentment towards her now that I've adopted responsibility. I'm happy I could find help and understand my past based on what Dr. Peterson is saying!
@mikemcking
@mikemcking 5 жыл бұрын
@Michael don't agree with a single thing you've said. I'm not broken, or failing to reach my potential or in need of growth. I am FINE as who I am. I have lived a long life, gone down many paths, and I have much to offer. Will I keep learning? Of course. Do I need a woman to help me "grow up"? What bullshit.
@dean8147
@dean8147 5 жыл бұрын
@@mikemcking Projecting your life against another is yet again, not fair assessment. He may be younger than yourself, therefore requiring a different interpersonal explanation of his current state in life. You sound hurt, the aggression supports this. If that is your resolution, so be it. Everyone is going through different stages in life. I wonder if the younger you would see something in Michael's comment.
@Grace-bd3fy
@Grace-bd3fy Жыл бұрын
I'm still single, but I finally understand marriage thanks to listening to Peterson and studying religion. When you marry someone, you are making a promise, and here it is: "I'll sacrifice for you. You'll sacrifice for me. We'll tell each other the truth. We'll show up for one another. We'll make each other better. We'll make the community better. We'll make the world better/bring glory to God."
@Omni-King2099
@Omni-King2099 9 ай бұрын
Just sounds like you need marriage as leverage to keep your mate. It sounds more sanctimonious than coercion I suppose. But it remains just a term that means as much as the individual wants it to mean but it has no power. Nor does God care what us humans do. Which is beyond comical that in the vastness of the universe God pays attention to who is married and is pleased by this..... Humans are a trip 🥴🤡
@tromboner6061
@tromboner6061 9 ай бұрын
Write/Tell this to your future husband. He'll love you for this
@Omni-King2099
@Omni-King2099 7 ай бұрын
@@WestboundTheDon that's not fair.... To be bound by subjugation 😒
@user-xe8vv6qj1b
@user-xe8vv6qj1b 7 ай бұрын
Amén. Marriage is only a lifetime while Heavens is Eternal.
@user-xe8vv6qj1b
@user-xe8vv6qj1b 7 ай бұрын
@@Omni-King2099Jesus said: my Yoke is Light and so is my Burden. Work things out , with Love.
@gluemuncher1986
@gluemuncher1986 2 жыл бұрын
As someone who grew up in a broken home, who has been abused and who has been through multiple stepdads, I can attest to nearly everything that he said.
@toddthomas4761
@toddthomas4761 2 жыл бұрын
Much love in the new year...
@jorelljones5697
@jorelljones5697 3 жыл бұрын
I have to make a speech at my sister’s wedding tomorrow, so I searched “what is marriage” and this video came up. I probably shouldn’t include any of these tidbits of information haha
@s.g.3042
@s.g.3042 3 жыл бұрын
Your sister will be fine in any case, I pity the husband tho, if they ever get a divorce ;))
@drudown615
@drudown615 3 жыл бұрын
Hope your sisters not as much of a procrastinator as you lmao!!
@johnnyguit-fiddle2088
@johnnyguit-fiddle2088 3 жыл бұрын
I hope you quoted it word for word and just completely ruined the vibe of the wedding. And also delivered it sitting down.
@stonerpenguin8815
@stonerpenguin8815 3 жыл бұрын
Just burp into the mic and flip everyone off grab your plate of food leave and right before you walk out the door while your back is still turned to everyone and with a mouth full of food say really loudly "Their both cheating on each other".
@weareyoungfamily5746
@weareyoungfamily5746 3 жыл бұрын
Our experience 5 Myths about Marriages kzbin.info/www/bejne/lZvNXqaaeLihbZo
@Buckwheat0
@Buckwheat0 6 жыл бұрын
My mom always snickers at how seriously I take vows. How I would rather work things out than separate.... She had 5 divorces btw
@Buckwheat0
@Buckwheat0 6 жыл бұрын
she's a good lady, just... not the sharpest knife in the droor
@thomasburns2557
@thomasburns2557 6 жыл бұрын
You probably felt a lot of pain with these family changes. You want to avoid that pain for yourself and others. So you work on your marriage . Good for you!
@Hwaigon
@Hwaigon 6 жыл бұрын
You're doin' it right. The "Why So Serious" lifestyle is killing this society. Sure, don't over-seriouse, but also, hey, boundaries.
@Buckwheat0
@Buckwheat0 6 жыл бұрын
Siyovaxsh En-sipad-zid-ana Every once in a while she has some good insight with relationships, but her judgement is sometimes quite clouded by the poor experiences she had again and again. I can see how vows are just words to a person who has been fooled and fooled others 5 times
@ICARUSxRISING
@ICARUSxRISING 6 жыл бұрын
YpmuJ I hear you. My mother's on her fifth marriage, I'm with the same man I've been with since high school- nearly 11 years now.
@gellister
@gellister 3 жыл бұрын
My divorce came about because when I asked goals and priorities questions during our dating I got all the right answers... Because those were the answers her hyper strict parents had raised her to believe would leave her indelibly happy and "full". Then when those answers (a kid, marriage, housework) left her feeling less than fully happy, it was all a lie in her mind and she changed course leaving my daughter and I high and dry. The sad truth is people change and some people don't actually know who they are or who they are going to be and can have their own self deluded enough that they can actually tell a lie without knowing they are lying.
@thodan467
@thodan467 2 жыл бұрын
Is it then a way. I think her parents did her a great disservice
@kirksaintpatrick3921
@kirksaintpatrick3921 2 жыл бұрын
This is essentially what happened to me. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to watch happen to a person. She tried hard but truly didn't enjoy it. Overtime she became a completely different person. At the end of the day, the only way to love her was to let her go do the things she wanted. But it came at horrendous cost to the family unit.
@TeaCup1940
@TeaCup1940 Жыл бұрын
I think she did not lie, she truly believed that marriage, children and housework would make her happy, but it did not and she then thought, it is not what she truly wanted out of live. And it is true, marriage, children and housework does not make anybody happy all the time, because life is suffering and sacrifice and enduring bad things every day, and maybe sometimes, very few, you can be happy. Specially when nobody is bothering you. Maybe she wanted to be perfect and she was not able to reach her own high standard. Her parents should maybe told her the reality of how difficult, hard and miserable marriage and family life and house chores can be sometimes.
@joncox459
@joncox459 2 жыл бұрын
The truth hurts, 6 years after divorce, still struggling financially, and relationship with children changed for ever, despite believing love for them would see things through. This clip should be shown the first time any type of mediation is implemented, but also throw in the guilt you feel for the rest of your life, knowing what your children go through. Mr Peterson I really respect your clarity and no nonsense insight to many things. Please may you continue.
@giovannaroma9527
@giovannaroma9527 4 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately "For better or worse" and " Til death do us part" have lost their meaning. They honestly should change that into " Til something better comes along"
@priyanshsharma3362
@priyanshsharma3362 4 жыл бұрын
True🤧
@giovannaroma9527
@giovannaroma9527 4 жыл бұрын
@Ankur Borgohain yup social media fucked everything up..
@giovannaroma9527
@giovannaroma9527 4 жыл бұрын
@Entrenched Mgtow you are right wrong spelling haha. We seem to cross paths again lol😊
@giovannaroma9527
@giovannaroma9527 4 жыл бұрын
@Entrenched Mgtow Hahaha we have had a couple of coversations before.I believe i have replied to your comments as well. So i guess we are some sort of friends now.😄😄
@ineedhoez
@ineedhoez 4 жыл бұрын
Until I get tired of your stupid ass. Until I realized that you are who I thought you were. Or Worse, until I realize you are exactly who I thought you were
@DarthCalculus
@DarthCalculus 6 жыл бұрын
I'm a stepfather. What he said at the end about blending families was hard, but it's true. Dating a woman with a child means you're dating a family.
@isaachaze1
@isaachaze1 6 жыл бұрын
the absolute worst thing is those kids can be taken away from you in the blink of an eye. as a step-parent, you have no parental rights, or any kind of rights. it's horrible. a nightmare actually. i'll never get close to anyone's kids again.
@DarthCalculus
@DarthCalculus 6 жыл бұрын
isaachaze1 I'm very sorry. It sounds like you went through something awful. Does that mean your wife lost her kids?
@isaachaze1
@isaachaze1 6 жыл бұрын
oh no, nothing like that. it means my ex took her kids away from me for no good reason. i was very bonded with them, and i think vice versa. i miss them like you can't believe. holidays are the worst
@DarthCalculus
@DarthCalculus 6 жыл бұрын
isaachaze1 I'm really sorry. Wishing you a happier new year.
@isaachaze1
@isaachaze1 6 жыл бұрын
Thank you for that William. And I wouldn't trade my memories of helping raise those kids for two years for anything painexotic.
@terrypeckham4744
@terrypeckham4744 9 ай бұрын
Yes! I always viewed my marriage as dating with paperwork. Not those exact words but in my own muddled way. And I did whatever I wanted. But my wife did not. She was truly married. I had a truly committed woman in my life and didn't even know it. Too blind to see the gift I was being offered. We divorced. My fault and my biggest regret
@DSN262
@DSN262 7 ай бұрын
Lol
@kimroddy943
@kimroddy943 2 жыл бұрын
I literally chose my spouse based on knowing that we would so everything in our power to make our life together work. Yes we are in love but we work on it. Life has sooo many unforseen circumstances that the only thing we can control is how we choose to act. True romance has more to do with two people willing to put in the work. Anything else is temporary.
@bulmalike
@bulmalike 2 жыл бұрын
this!
@gottiey
@gottiey 4 жыл бұрын
The thought of jordan peterson on his wedding day saying "look here, I know you're trouble ey, but I'm not leaving ever! I'm going to manifest flaws and so are you but we're gonna stick through this no matter what" how romantic 😂😂
@dominiquedouchet6988
@dominiquedouchet6988 3 жыл бұрын
Yeah. He's a smooth talker this one!! 😁😁
@HolyKhaaaaan
@HolyKhaaaaan 3 жыл бұрын
But see that's the point. You want someone who can say that.
@alcyonae
@alcyonae 3 жыл бұрын
That’s such a romantic thing to me because it’s authentic, and authentic is what I need from a life companion.
@michellerobin5461
@michellerobin5461 3 жыл бұрын
@@alcyonae Agreed!!
@michellerobin5461
@michellerobin5461 3 жыл бұрын
That’s actually what I’d like to hear from my SO 😂
@jellygurl27
@jellygurl27 3 жыл бұрын
I feel like his classes need to be taught in high school.
@ErosIshu
@ErosIshu 3 жыл бұрын
Agree
@DCYTB
@DCYTB 3 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately, I found that *most* high school teachers are high school teachers because they failed in another field for various reasons. They’re already ideologically poisoned and bitter. It’s rare to find a hs teacher that’s really doing it for the good of the students.
@betht840
@betht840 3 жыл бұрын
@@DCYTB sad but true
@crazyduck1254
@crazyduck1254 3 жыл бұрын
ConcertJunkie27 that's a curious thing....i notice how people learn to drive but learn nothing at all others than the road laws. if they did teach us how to live better more enriching lives guess what might happen......??
@captainriker9088
@captainriker9088 3 жыл бұрын
@@DCYTB That's an interesting statement. It reminds me of a really bad science teacher I had in 8th grade. She, if I remember correctly, was divorced at least twice. Both to men that "abused" her or something. She was bitter and constantly ranting about something. Or she was sitting on her phone or doing her makeup in class. And half the time she was on her phone arguing with her daughter over something. You know how teachers aren't supposed to have their phones on in class? Well, many don't always follow this rule, which is fine. Because most of the time they have valid reasons to. They do it only every once in a while because their family is having an emergency situation. However this lady, she regularly said she had some "emergency" to attend to. She was in a constant state of emergency. Oh boy just imagine if she saw this comment. That also reminds me, she is known to comment on student's social media pages. Which is weird. And no, she wasn't being a predator. It was just an odd thing.
@DarthFurie
@DarthFurie 2 жыл бұрын
The worst part is when you find out that you meant your vows, and your spouse never did. Three years later, "I was never in love with you, I want out." What else is there to do at that point than acknowledge your marriage was never real and try to move on? I meant forever but I can't control the commitment or sincerity levels of another person
@HH-ni5hm
@HH-ni5hm 2 жыл бұрын
That whats happen when kids arent being taught about this. We leave heartbroken people and worse, we leave our children a society where they wont be able to trust anyone who make vows or promises... Not just in marriage but in any relationship really.
@BanjoPixelSnack
@BanjoPixelSnack 3 жыл бұрын
My view is that most trauma that people carry is relational. Which means you can only work through it in relationship with others. So if you quit every time the going gets tough, you will never grow or heal. The challenge is being lucky enough to find a partner who is as equally determined to persevere and grow as you are no matter how tough it gets. Divorce is important so that people can escape genuinely abusive relationships, however.
@princessrojas3252
@princessrojas3252 3 жыл бұрын
This man made me more intelligent when it comes to choosing my relationship. He is the father I never had. Thank you for speaking the truth, Mr. Peterson.
@lazry3208
@lazry3208 2 жыл бұрын
But Luke... I'm your father *breathes in*
@99Gara99
@99Gara99 2 жыл бұрын
Theory in practice is different though, he talks lots of bullshit in a very convincing way. Sorry to be negative.
@pokrizzle
@pokrizzle 2 жыл бұрын
He also is a quack crazy who has break downs so severe he has to be admitted to mental health clinics because he can't handle real life. Glad you look up to him though
@99Gara99
@99Gara99 2 жыл бұрын
@@lazry3208 people ignore this fact
@lifesabeach5405
@lifesabeach5405 2 жыл бұрын
He was admitted to a Russian hospital for nervous breakdown
@antonioskontonasakis
@antonioskontonasakis 4 жыл бұрын
"If you can't run away you will fix your problems"- Jordan Peterson
@alderinerush
@alderinerush 3 жыл бұрын
*Try to
@andriyshapovalov8886
@andriyshapovalov8886 2 жыл бұрын
Or try to get comfortably numb
@CC-xn5xi
@CC-xn5xi 2 жыл бұрын
No, it takes two. If one person can't or won't work on a fix, the marriage is doomed.
@99Gara99
@99Gara99 2 жыл бұрын
Another option is to live with all the mess, suffering and misery 👍
@eitanr
@eitanr 2 жыл бұрын
(Or make them worse)
@charlottemark189
@charlottemark189 2 жыл бұрын
When I got married the biggest comfort was that I was able to be real and true in the comfort of the knowledge I had someone to work through this life stuff with, without the fear of being deserted in my hour of most need. JBP spot on!
@SocialEP
@SocialEP Жыл бұрын
Listening to Jordan's lectures has really opened my eyes and helped me find what I was looking for in a wife. Growing up without a father figure, I didn't know where to begin. Forever a JP fan.
@enlightenfreemason3656
@enlightenfreemason3656 Жыл бұрын
Lol dumb ass getting married Smart men don’t get married Cause smart man know Break up in relationship Break up in marriage Cheat in relationship Cheat in marriage Bored in relationship Bored in marriage Live together in relationship Live together in marriage Sex in relationship Sex in marriage Then lose all ur shit in divorce court and yr finances lol Ya poor clueless bastard Ah give it few years they will break up & divorce It’s always comes to end Marriage so pointless an scam lol Break up in marriage so easily as u break up so easily in relationship Yeah should of just stayed in relationship Smart man knows this all Lol marriage is for idiots an uneducated Marriage is corporate scam who do u think creates rings An dress and suit the coperations that profit off of the people
@zoltanalkannen4263
@zoltanalkannen4263 6 жыл бұрын
The key is to find the right person. In order to find the right person, you have to make friend with loneliness.
@xxMpEGxx
@xxMpEGxx 5 жыл бұрын
I'd say "you have to become accustomed to being alone", not lonely being alone is not bad when you have the right mindset, but being lonely is just bad
@denisebranquinho2377
@denisebranquinho2377 5 жыл бұрын
"the right person" doesn't exist.
@benban8055
@benban8055 5 жыл бұрын
Many people are too inpatient to go through the thorough work required to find the right person.
@virginiamoss7045
@virginiamoss7045 5 жыл бұрын
@@denisebranquinho2377 - 100% truth!
@virginiamoss7045
@virginiamoss7045 5 жыл бұрын
@DD dunn - Yes, indeed. There are many who would do for any one person's criteria and all of that person's criteria will never be found in one person. So be ready to compromise because people do not change as women's hormones urge them to believe. That's mother nature pushing hard to get babies for the survival of the species. Men complain that all women want to do is change them. They don't realize that the hormones pushing that are in their favor; they get accepted by the woman for sex because of it even though it's not in the best interest of either her or him. It just gets babies for mother nature.
@carolscabinas
@carolscabinas 4 жыл бұрын
There are very few people giving young people this insight and advice. Well done.
@deficator750
@deficator750 3 жыл бұрын
Its our fathers job to tell us this but most men like ourselves are more interested in ourselves and sex than raising kids.
@lyubovevtushenko4548
@lyubovevtushenko4548 3 жыл бұрын
Thomas Serrano exactly. The problem is that people these days don’t want to FIX things and morals are definitely changed over the course of the years. That’s why marriage does not last these days. It’s tragic. It’s sad. But modern education is BULLSHIT. It’s not that back in the day... people HAD TO stay in a marriage. NO! Most people cared. That’s the thing.
@lyubovevtushenko4548
@lyubovevtushenko4548 3 жыл бұрын
Thomas Serrano who have their “own set of morals”. And society becomes disfigured. I don’t know with what finality whoever is planning all of this wants yo achieve but whatever it is. It’s going to be the end of a good society with principals and morals.
@lyubovevtushenko4548
@lyubovevtushenko4548 3 жыл бұрын
I like Pancakes although I do agree with your statement about women because I am one and I’m not a hypocrite about it that some women tend to follow the mainstream side of feminism. His advice is actually correct. There’s no guarantee about fidelity in terms of walking away... but also we have to consider our own actions as well. If we did nothing wrong, that person has demons and decided to walk away from YOU, who showed them love loyalty and trustworthy. You shouldn’t have to consider it as their fault or yours. Simply the person was not it for you and there are many other versions of females that are worth keeping. In my opinion, his advice is breaking the vicious cycle of a generation that is fucked up. It’s like someone throwing away trash in the beach, millions of people may do it but if YOU make a difference, YOU are making a change and THAT counts.
@carolscabinas
@carolscabinas 3 жыл бұрын
@I like Pancakes That's absolutely true!
@Howwerelivingfishing
@Howwerelivingfishing 2 жыл бұрын
I can’t get enough of this guys channel now. I don’t even care the subject matter, this guy just makes it interesting
@tear11rain
@tear11rain 2 жыл бұрын
What amazing about Peterson is that every time I have objection towards his idea during his speech, he clears it out in the next minute. There is nothing I can say but Peterson is right.
@thodan467
@thodan467 2 жыл бұрын
I think Peterson´s no idea marriage and family worked 99,999% of human history. Many widowed People with children remarried
@davidbanner9344
@davidbanner9344 6 жыл бұрын
Marriage exposes both parties, you're not who you think you are. You learn a lot about yourself when you get married!
@TactlessGuy
@TactlessGuy 5 жыл бұрын
I think when you chain yourself down in a marriage, you start to realize what you really want in life.
@moladiver6817
@moladiver6817 5 жыл бұрын
You learn a great deal about yourself in every new endeavor, not just marriage. Also it's getting a bit tiring to hear Peterson talk about this responsibility every time. Life's too short to get wrapped up in all kinds of cages. Too many times marriage ends up in agony. Guess what. People aren't monogamous creatures. Nor are they built for lifelong relationships. People can change vastly over time meaning that very often partners simply grow apart. And sometimes they find each other again and that is awesome and beautiful but it's a happily ever after kind of story that's only for the happy few. We finally live in a time where marriage is a choice instead of a societal requirement. Let's not persuade people to believe old times were better. Because they weren't. Peterson really does give truly interesting and insightful lectures but I oh so wish that the online crowds don't just swallow every pill they're being fed, no matter who feeds them. It's as if all critical thinking goes overboard when someone has reached the state of prophet or whatever it is that they become. Take all the info you can people, but think for yourselves for crying out loud.
@Meonium
@Meonium 5 жыл бұрын
@@TactlessGuy You're right. I want to do lot of things. But the idea of having family is also good. But at the same time, I want to do lot of things without anything holding me back. Dammit. I'm in dilemma.
@mollypettigrew7374
@mollypettigrew7374 5 жыл бұрын
And u stick with it!!! Unless beaten or abused..mentally or physically or sexually.
@sexcorpio6976
@sexcorpio6976 5 жыл бұрын
You dont need to wait untill too late if you are Lucky to CoME from an unsufferable family, unsuffer parental and unsuffer siblings (a sister among them)
@victorakinsola8063
@victorakinsola8063 4 жыл бұрын
I learnt from JP and I learnt from the comment section. It's a double win.
@leonabanks5591
@leonabanks5591 3 жыл бұрын
1 CORINTHIANS 7 - On Being SINGLE 8 Now for those who are NOT MARRIED and for the widows I say this: It is GOOD for you to STAY SINGLE like me. 9 But if you cannot control your body, then you should marry. It is better to marry than to burn with sexual desire. 27 If you have a wife, don’t try to get free from her. If you are NOT MARRIED, DON’T TRY TO FIND A WIFE. 28 But if you decide to marry, that is not a sin. And it is not a sin for a girl who has never married to get married. BUT those who MARRY WILL HAVE TROUBLE IN THIS LIFE, and I want you to be free from this trouble. 38 So the man who marries his fiancée does alright, and the man who does NOT MARRY will do BETTER. 40 The WOMAN is HAPPIER if she does NOT MARRY again. This is my opinion, and I believe that I have God’s Spirit. (Straight from the Apostle Paul’s mouth….He was INSPIRED by God to write this) The ONLY reason to get MARRIED is if you have a STRONG SEX DRIVE that is UNCONTROLLABLE, other than that, STAYING SINGLE IS THE BEST ROUTE TO TAKE. As people age their SEX DRIVE dwindles and now what?! You’re just STUCK in MISERY. I’ve been married twice and engaged to be married a third time, but thank God I dodged that bullet. I’ve been on both sides…Single and Married, and TRUST me when I tell you, the Bible ain’t NEVER LIED and is so RIGHT….SINGLE is so much BETTER because it’s LESS STRESSFUL and EASIER. I’m too BUSY ENJOYING life to ever get MARRIED again……..
@sandymastrocola4973
@sandymastrocola4973 3 жыл бұрын
Leona Banks you are one sick animal. Old and alone
@coiledsteel8344
@coiledsteel8344 3 жыл бұрын
@@sandymastrocola4973 Really? 🤔 Stay with your Hair Dressing videos.
@coiledsteel8344
@coiledsteel8344 3 жыл бұрын
@Sok Tau Non-STEM classess.
@sandymastrocola4973
@sandymastrocola4973 3 жыл бұрын
Coiled Steel don’t like your comments then put them somewhere else moron
@jadevanvoss2399
@jadevanvoss2399 2 жыл бұрын
Staying and working things out is ideal but it gets complicated when one party has a larger control/power dynamic. There are definitely cases where a person should leave for their own safety and mental health. I think Dr. Peterson is speaking from the perspective that you shouldn't given up if a marriage has genuine respect and mutual positive regard for the other.
@jr6366
@jr6366 2 жыл бұрын
Stick it out within reason. Once abuses start and don't stop gtfo imo.
@Schizobateman
@Schizobateman 2 жыл бұрын
Maybe don't marry abusive men?
@jadevanvoss2399
@jadevanvoss2399 2 жыл бұрын
@@Schizobateman it's like saying... men should just stop being abusive.... it's just not that simple maybe they're not abusive when you met them... Also childhood trauma can play a huge part in partner selection..
@Schizobateman
@Schizobateman 2 жыл бұрын
@@jadevanvoss2399 the majority of men are not abusive, stop meeting men in nightclubs and bars
@jadevanvoss2399
@jadevanvoss2399 2 жыл бұрын
@@Schizobateman not saying they are... I'm pointing out that your assumption that women should just stop dating abusive partners is simplifying a very complex situation. Men in nightclubs may not be abusive either, again you are using assumptions that doesn't really contribute positively to domestic abuse discussion.
@ManfromJapan12
@ManfromJapan12 2 жыл бұрын
My wife and I have a wonderful marriage.. we sorted out our shit years ago. Everyday we acknowledge that our unity is special . We make each other laugh all the time
@Neville.Ndero8
@Neville.Ndero8 3 жыл бұрын
How refreshing to seat in a lecture room being taught about personal sacrifice and personal improvement rather than someone teaching you that you're a victim of systemic racism and the patriarchy. Jordan doesn't focus on blaming anyone or anything but puts emphasis on personal responsibility. I like that
@HowlinWilf13
@HowlinWilf13 2 жыл бұрын
I like that, too. Great comment.
@7elegrama
@7elegrama 2 жыл бұрын
Personal responsibility is a good part of the game. But sometimes people are marry to violent, drunk or psychos motherfuckers who were taught to be served and respected in a submissive way. And there's no way to make use of personal responsibility or whatsoever. He talks truth, but not universal truths. Patriarchy brought a lot of suffer and inequality to this world and societies and can't be overlooked.
@marvalousmarva9539
@marvalousmarva9539 Жыл бұрын
Relationship work is personal work.
@cherrypie6784
@cherrypie6784 10 ай бұрын
Thas what feminists do they blane blame
@ATLMike94
@ATLMike94 10 ай бұрын
Well really neither one of those should be taught in a classroom.
@buu.888
@buu.888 4 жыл бұрын
I’m 28 years old and have been with my husband since we were 14 (almost 6 years married and coming up to 15 years together). People are shocked that we’re still together, got married at 22 and are happy. As the years go on, Rob & I are stronger. It actually amazes us - we think “I don’t think I could love you any more” but then our hearts grow a little more and with that our love. My marriage is very important to me and I hope when we have children, they look up to us as an example of a strong and lasting love.
@naifxiv7706
@naifxiv7706 3 жыл бұрын
that's so beautiful god bliss you both
@----zd1od
@----zd1od 3 жыл бұрын
How come did you last this long? BTW it always give me so much hope when knowing stories like this. Somehow it fulfills me so good.
@flyingdart9819
@flyingdart9819 3 жыл бұрын
Respect
@CAROLUSPRIMA
@CAROLUSPRIMA 3 жыл бұрын
Well, have two or three kids, give it a few years and report back. Children change everything and I mean EVERYTHING.
@alicewhite9343
@alicewhite9343 3 жыл бұрын
@Mini Cooper people like you fear anything that gives you boundaries, you genuinely think that any responsibility traps you and others. You're IMMATURE AND FEARFULL.
@justsomewhitedude8349
@justsomewhitedude8349 3 жыл бұрын
I remember my wife telling me that divorce was never going to be an option and that she'd always wanted a long marriage... She left me for an old school friend she hadn't spoken to in a decade after a little more than 3 years of marriage. Turns out you can just leave
@paugasolina5048
@paugasolina5048 3 жыл бұрын
Well. Marriage is a huge risk today. Ive spoken to a lawyer and he told me to never marry. You get screwed over hard.
@allenblack3785
@allenblack3785 Жыл бұрын
These academic lectures leave out a few things like,,,,,,,,Women LIE, women are UN faithful, and women care about themselves at the expense of the family. Not all but a good portion, have no problem destoying their family for self. Women like my mom, women of character, are going extinct.
@mmathapelojemina-cy6xm
@mmathapelojemina-cy6xm Жыл бұрын
Lol ...women are like that.all of them
@ayaguzel4878
@ayaguzel4878 Жыл бұрын
@@mmathapelojemina-cy6xm nope
@skippy1012
@skippy1012 11 ай бұрын
She probably banged him right before you got married.
@simonmankel941
@simonmankel941 2 жыл бұрын
I think this is the first Peterson Video where I really understood everything! Love the experience
@michaelcunningham449
@michaelcunningham449 6 жыл бұрын
It was only at age 32 that I realized that a dominant force in my life was fear of rejection since my father walked out when I was 2 and my mother focused her affection on my newborn brother. I was sexually promiscuous until I turned 36, but when I married, it was for life. That commitment made it possible to get through the bad periods, and after 47 years, our relationship continues to improve.
@menomjoff9989
@menomjoff9989 6 жыл бұрын
Good for you man, it’s never to late to change and become a better person & you are living proof of this. Best of wishes to you and your wife for years to come.
@jacquesnicolay9221
@jacquesnicolay9221 6 жыл бұрын
Wait so you’re 91? What are you in the comment sections of KZbin for? 😆
@jimbo1485
@jimbo1485 6 жыл бұрын
Larry Myers haha that made me LOL
@frankcastleisdead7473
@frankcastleisdead7473 6 жыл бұрын
Michael Cunningham, Rock On Brother!
@cornerstone2449
@cornerstone2449 6 жыл бұрын
How do you keep the old bitch in line?
@adrianwhittenburg718
@adrianwhittenburg718 4 жыл бұрын
I need to watch this more often. I’ve been divorced, lonely/free and a step dad. Everything he is saying is the truth. Be careful who you love, protect your heart.
@EdMcCornhole
@EdMcCornhole 3 жыл бұрын
My wife stopped talking to my family side so I stopped seeing or talking to her family side. She would call my mother when our children were babies to use her for help. My mother never disrespected ever. Always helped. That's what happens with some women. Big shit disturbers. So I give her emotional stagnance. I just have sex and ignore her feelings. Plus there's nothing that tells me I should be connected with in-laws. Especially if most of them are jackasses when she does the same thing.
@ZENSIBLE
@ZENSIBLE 3 жыл бұрын
@@EdMcCornhole Sounds like a match made in heaven.
@deanadam8948
@deanadam8948 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you buddy
@amberjones1075
@amberjones1075 3 жыл бұрын
I totally believe this! It’s also very freeing to have a person who will never give up on you.
@kyleytrimm7277
@kyleytrimm7277 Жыл бұрын
Such an insightful, powerful lecture. My husband and I love to listen to these lectures on our roadtrips.
@toddthomas4761
@toddthomas4761 Жыл бұрын
LOL - love this bit. All the best...
@asiaticamericanflower5476
@asiaticamericanflower5476 3 жыл бұрын
Before married, my fiance and I discussed abt "divorcing" topic .. and we both agree that there wont be divorcing in our marriage no matter what.. His parents have been married for 54 years... My parents have been married for 46 years ... My husband and I have been married for 10 years and many more to come ... I love him more and more ... some people say after married, couple may get sour, not us ... we have up and down but I love him more and more, we stand together hand in hand ... we are blessed
@Happy.Traveller
@Happy.Traveller 3 жыл бұрын
"No matter what"? Jesus. You have my pity. Divorce has to be de-tabooed.
@Happy.Traveller
@Happy.Traveller 3 жыл бұрын
@A Journey This. Is EXACTLY what needs to stop. Everything you have pointed out are opinions blinded by religion. If you look at it objectively and logically, marriage is man-made, just like religion. "The only grounds of divorce is adultery" is EXACTLY a religious point of view. I can also make up a religion where I say the only grounds of divorce is if one person doesn't contribute to housework. These are all made up rules So many women's lives have been destroyed because divorce is taboo in their culture. People need to separate religion and domestic life. Divorce must be normalised and de-tabooed.
@marialeon6765
@marialeon6765 3 жыл бұрын
I've been married for 8 years and living together for 9 years. We got married young, and many people thought we would not last more than 2 years because that's the trend. I think our success is that we knew what to expect from the beginning, we were honest and we're not afraid to have uncomfortable conversations. We always negotiate a middle point, we never insult each other, we ask why. For me, the result of asking, instead of attacking, is impressive because you do a lot of internal work on things that you were not even aware of. I don't see us divorcing ever, we've been through a lot together, and we always work in tandem to have a happy and thriving family. And I must add that the level of connection that you reach when you actually try, instead of thinking marriage is disposable, is unbreakable.
@marialeon6765
@marialeon6765 3 жыл бұрын
@A Journey Anything that people are afraid to address in their particular case.
@marialeon6765
@marialeon6765 3 жыл бұрын
@A Journey Yes, or maybe just tiny behaviors that you find strange and don't say anything about. That could mean internal work needs to be done, but instead of losing it, just ask nicely about it.
@popstarresearchingoblivion8778
@popstarresearchingoblivion8778 4 жыл бұрын
A greek philosopher was once asked by one of his students if he should marry, the philosopher responded: "Do what you feel, either way you will regret it"
@dherokbattleborn
@dherokbattleborn 4 жыл бұрын
That’s a great quote. Being lonely is miserable but being married is miserable too. Might as well just do what you want
@dherokbattleborn
@dherokbattleborn 4 жыл бұрын
CrooK Even if you’re living to your full potential life really does get mundane without someone to talk to
@juliuscaesar1062
@juliuscaesar1062 3 жыл бұрын
@amin_ rahman really malaysian women get affected by feminism, Im malaysian and i never experienced this
@eliyasara9786
@eliyasara9786 3 жыл бұрын
therefore: do not do what you FEEL. Why? Feelings change all the time. W it.hat you must do instead, is do what you KNOW is right, regardless of what you feel about it.
@DripEmpError
@DripEmpError 3 жыл бұрын
That’s Kierkegaard’s quote, he wasn’t Greek, he was Danish
@ninavinterova9875
@ninavinterova9875 3 жыл бұрын
Honestly I feel like he accidentally made a better argument for not getting married rather than for marriage
@PymGordonArthur
@PymGordonArthur 3 жыл бұрын
Sorry but I disagree. The point of narriage is that it takes the role of a long term corection factor for an individuals that participate. You will never acept most of yourown flaws unless someone else puts them out. We cannot see where we are wrong. We need society to help us. Marriage is the micro unit of society that deels wirh that the most. My wife points to me where Im wrong. I make adjustments to my own life so we can coexist. This in effect makes me more optimezed for society in general. And the only reason we do it is since we are in this together forever. If there is no marriage, I would Just leave Ever wife till Im old and lost. This is purely utilitarian point of view. Its interesting that it coinceids with romantic ideal od love.
@ninavinterova9875
@ninavinterova9875 3 жыл бұрын
@@PymGordonArthur I don't think you need to be married to see your flaws. Your friends can point them out. The only ones that can only be pointed out by your partner are so private that they don't concern the society anyways.
@PymGordonArthur
@PymGordonArthur 3 жыл бұрын
@@ninavinterova9875 i think your argument is partialy right. Friend are great to provide useful insight. But, they dont have to spend their entire life with you. That thing solely makes them aprori less carring to modify your bad behaviour. Of course there are exeptions. And thats why the marriage is institutional and sacred. Most of the People are not Lucky to have very close, honest and good friends. Friends spend more time with you than People who are not your friends. And thats the whole point. In some sence friends form a close circcle of society that forges you into a strong and better individual. But the smalles circcle is a family. Because it wovs to stay with you forever and truly needs to make you better for at least one other than yourself. Thats the first step to be coming better for society in general . Than comes the circcle of friendship. And that the circcle of collegues etc. Sorry for my bad english. Im not a native speaker.
@ladymsthing6056
@ladymsthing6056 2 жыл бұрын
Long as single people don’t have children that will mess them up and society.
@HH-ni5hm
@HH-ni5hm 2 жыл бұрын
Hes framing people who honor their vows as the more responsible ones than those who wont take or would break their vows. And it really is the truth dont you think.
@entitykeeper8869
@entitykeeper8869 2 жыл бұрын
This is a tragic topic. I'm a child of divorce and both my stepparents were abusive. As an adult I tried very hard in my marriage. My ex abandoned the home and after 6 months I filed for divorce. I lost 2/3rds of $M and paid 2/3rds of my income to alimony and child support for 8 years. I was an indentured servant as JP described. Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
@laza6141
@laza6141 2 жыл бұрын
In my country divorce rate is 30% , now if you count all those people who are miserable together but still stay married than the number would be over 50% , which means that more than 50% of marriages suck.
@Frosty-oj6hw
@Frosty-oj6hw 4 жыл бұрын
"look, I know that you're trouble. Me too. So, we won't leave." That's a hell of a vow, I can imagine that one day if I ever got married I think i'd straight up quote that as my vow and attribute it.
@Papiringou
@Papiringou 4 жыл бұрын
he's right, it's a hell of a vow.
@oppositereality3792
@oppositereality3792 4 жыл бұрын
Raise above, don't get married.
@xxAfricanWarriorxx
@xxAfricanWarriorxx 4 жыл бұрын
lol. good luck buddy
@boroglisic790
@boroglisic790 4 жыл бұрын
Sounds also like pop-song lyrics 😁
@fabricioferreira5998
@fabricioferreira5998 4 жыл бұрын
The problem is not the vow, the problem is you and the things you don't know about yourself, about your partner, about kids, about human nature and about love, when you make it. Maturity is when you realize that breaking the vow is even worse then having made it, in all aspects, and admit to yourself you were just too fool and young. If you get to that point the big challenge will be finding happiness in the small things in everyday life, like watching a game, being good at work, having a nice meal, fixing something, playing with your kids as you watch them grow, knowing that all your sacrifice will be worth it if they do better then you. When your dreams change from becoming a famous guitar player, a basketball player, an astronaut, a porn star, a billionaire, into seeing your kids become what they want, that's a happy marriage. If you are aware that you're nothing more than an enslaved provider, that's a happy marriage. If you can stand being blamed for all the mistakes in a relationship (yours, hers and everybody else's) without going nuts, that's a happy marriage. It is very ironic how that has nothing to do with sex. So yes..before you make that "vow" take your time and think about it.
@slowdivr2
@slowdivr2 5 жыл бұрын
Celebrating 21 yrs of marriage Feb 28, 2019, i'm 42...everything he's just said is so on point! I love this guy.
@lorrainelee3092
@lorrainelee3092 5 жыл бұрын
Been married since 1992 and we are still going.. Right on. Thank you.
@christins.1481
@christins.1481 5 жыл бұрын
I'm adding to this. Married 18 years, and still going!
@dr.c196
@dr.c196 5 жыл бұрын
Women of 1995 are very different than women of 2019. Back then, women had values, moral, dignity, devotion and love. Women nowadays value "self" and nothing else.
@adamkaye2358
@adamkaye2358 5 жыл бұрын
​@@dr.c196 This may be true. Women are now pursuing full on careers and becoming more independent in every area of life--not to say this is a bad thing. However, they think that this new independence gives them a reason to be less focused on family life and more focused on themselves. And I think this causes problems in marriages.
@huko4266
@huko4266 5 жыл бұрын
Dr. C - my ex wife was a narcissist, got engaged to another man behind my back. After picking myself back up again after enduring one hell of a nasty divorce that left me broken, I started dating again years later and found what you said to be absolutely true. After multiple bad dating experiences I got pretty depressed and thought I would be alone forever. Better to be alone (MGTOW) than risk wasting another 18 years of my life again, for a self centred princess. I then started dating a Nepalese woman, and she’s everything I could have hoped for: kind, nurturing, compassionate, loving. She’s given me hope again. The more I’ve explored understanding her culture, the more I realised that Western culture promotes this toxic selfishness that western women appear to be “empowered” by. Always pictured myself as a western man with a western woman, but I’m super grateful I kept an open mind.
@olandir
@olandir 2 жыл бұрын
As usual, the KZbin Recommendation algorithm is making some solid picks. I like this guy. He's very blunt but I like how he talks about the fact that everyone's got a lot of baggage going into a relationship (much of which they don't even know from past trama) and that you need to be willing to work through it in a marriage.
@billvigus3719
@billvigus3719 2 жыл бұрын
My biological dad cheated on my mom when I was 1 years old and left me and my 5 year old sister. My mom met my step-dad and he raised us as his own and loved us. He IS my dad. For context my sister works in the molecular diagnostics field and has a wonderful family and I work in the medical field and have a wonderful family too :)
@knowledgeiseverything2404
@knowledgeiseverything2404 3 жыл бұрын
"Sometimes the biological parents are way worst than the step-parents" It is so true, it made me cry.
@bohemianskingdom7528
@bohemianskingdom7528 3 жыл бұрын
Highly understandable
@sergeyfilat4238
@sergeyfilat4238 3 жыл бұрын
because women like bad guys
@eupiaeupia2647
@eupiaeupia2647 3 жыл бұрын
Very true.
@ericscaillet2232
@ericscaillet2232 2 жыл бұрын
Me too...
@gabrielholes4642
@gabrielholes4642 2 жыл бұрын
Agreed, seen it with relatives
@chrisfranks5926
@chrisfranks5926 4 жыл бұрын
I have been married 32 years and I love my wife more and find her sexier each day - i am very well blessed
@MonarchPoolPlaster
@MonarchPoolPlaster 4 жыл бұрын
Kathlyn Contreras Even if that happened, the state has your back. This happens to men all the time and the state is our adversary.
@georgeisaak5321
@georgeisaak5321 4 жыл бұрын
of course you are and that is exactly how "paradise" looks like !!!!
@xeroxedits1809
@xeroxedits1809 4 жыл бұрын
@Matt THX what if she's real and loyal? Why always looking for the negativity. Men cannot live without women and it's the same for them, Even though in those times where we're living things are getting weird and harder but u'll always find that girl that still care about her principles and does protect her self don't worry.
@indiasupportstrumpwwg1wga927
@indiasupportstrumpwwg1wga927 4 жыл бұрын
Kathlyn Contreras get over it. You’ve had your time in the sun (late teens-20’s) to ride the carousel of the chads whine turning down others. Now it’s tine for men in their prime to have fun. (30’s-50).
@madamluis2537
@madamluis2537 4 жыл бұрын
Ron Garvin keep crying dude. How many men have destroyed women’s lives by cheating and being dead beat dads?
@BeN-bn5yb
@BeN-bn5yb 2 жыл бұрын
The real problem with people choosing to get married, is the fact that they don't acknowledge, or even know the difference between LOVING someone and being PREPARED TO LIVE with someone.
@blackbat121
@blackbat121 Жыл бұрын
Are you saying love isn’t important ?
@BeN-bn5yb
@BeN-bn5yb Жыл бұрын
@@blackbat121 No. In fact, love is the most important thing here. You cannot be prepared to live with someone without loving that someone first, because that would be called being prepared to deal with someone for the next x years.
@evanmerworth7830
@evanmerworth7830 2 жыл бұрын
About to get married to the love of my life with whom I have a son. Marriage is a commitment forever. If you go in with the mindset that "well of it doesn't work out ill get a divorce" your relationship is doomed to fail. This man is a genius. Marriage is a beautiful thing but only if it's the right person and only if you take it 100% seriously!
@badfinger6000
@badfinger6000 4 жыл бұрын
The tone of his voice when he says” Good, you’ll have it every day every day of your goddamn life “ Man there is emotion there that hits like a hammer.👍🏼
@johnc6539
@johnc6539 3 жыл бұрын
The moment i met my wife...i knew. I felt it in my bones that we would be together always. 20yrs later not a day goes by that i don't kiss her and tell her that i love her. And we are just as happy now if not happier than when we first got together. I know how lucky i got - I found my soulmate. IMHO, if you don't feel that spark that I'm speaking of, don't get married. Don't get married because you feel pressured by your friends or family because YOU, not them, have to live with that person, and be with that person. Don't get married because you don't want to be alone. I've seen to many sad and depressing people because of that one. Get a dog instead. Divorced kids are a mess. All of them. I've yet to meet one that has their shit together. Just saying - take your time before rushing into marriage. After all, you're only supposed to get married once. Too many people are to swift to throw in the towel.
@mlarson
@mlarson 3 жыл бұрын
My parents divorced when I was young and I swore that I will only marry if I meet my soulmate. If I have kids I will not put them through the turmoil my parents put me through
@justanothercarguy7134
@justanothercarguy7134 3 жыл бұрын
I'm 20 and have never really had a girlfriend, idk if I ever would (hopefully would find my person). I honestly don't understand the complexity of relationships probably coz ive never been in one, but I sure do hope whomever I end up with would be the one and only. The way I see it, when someone picks you to be their partner for life, its just not right, on basic moral grounds, to look for a separation just coz the going gets tough sometimes. I'm happy for you and I hope I find this kind of love one day :D
@leifdux7277
@leifdux7277 3 жыл бұрын
Hi I think I'm doing well in life despite having no fatherly figure! ٩( 'ω' )و
@ttctexas9714
@ttctexas9714 3 жыл бұрын
Gay
@johnc6539
@johnc6539 3 жыл бұрын
@@ttctexas9714 its ok man. Unsatisfied people often take their frustration with life out on other people who are happy. Also most people who call other people gay have latent homosexuality issues. Might want to talk to someone about that. Have a nice day.
@jonathonmccue7271
@jonathonmccue7271 2 жыл бұрын
Some good words! I don’t agree with some of your views on some topics, but I think you hit the nail on the head on this one! Cheers!
@user-yd4nb6le7f
@user-yd4nb6le7f 10 ай бұрын
Thank you Prof. After listening to you teaching about basics yet fundamental foundations of marriage I shared with my wife of 2years❤ thank you sir from SA.
@zoshow6241
@zoshow6241 4 жыл бұрын
“The way people love children is pretty specific. You love YOUR children” omg so true....I can’t stand children for too long but I’m biased about mine lol mine is awesome.
@FreeAgent99
@FreeAgent99 4 жыл бұрын
ZoShow I don’t have children yet, but I can’t stand other children! I hate it when others show me photos of their kids or expect you to go crazy when you see one.
@zoshow6241
@zoshow6241 4 жыл бұрын
M Rei lol me too, and I never was the mom to show pictures of my kid, unless someone asked specifically.
@jackdaniels9179
@jackdaniels9179 4 жыл бұрын
Do you know why? Have you ever actually stopped to consider why?
@IGamingStation
@IGamingStation 4 жыл бұрын
@@FreeAgent99 I think it's a maternal thing. Even females who aren't married yet adore children, which I can understand. Though to be fair, gay guys love babies and children, but I am not going to go there.
@nataliemunoz8600
@nataliemunoz8600 3 жыл бұрын
Kids are annoying...unless they are yours.
@Hipppogrifff
@Hipppogrifff 4 жыл бұрын
I understand what he’s saying, but from my perspective, still up to this day I wish my parents had gotten divorced. They stayed together, (and are still together) and they made life in that family like a torture for us kids. We have all sort of mental problems now and all three of us are scared of marriage, it’s more like a phobia for us now. It’s like getting a life in prison sentence when I think about marriage.
@Josh-zk7pf
@Josh-zk7pf 4 жыл бұрын
Hipppogrifff feel it bro. My parents stayed together and they never showed love, I’ve never seen it. I just see fighting, and sleeping in separate bedrooms, it’s tragic. You watch tv, you go to other people’s families, their parents are calling each other babe, and it’s all happy. I know it’s not always like that, but the fact I saw it just pissed me off. I’ve also had two very very shit relationship experiences and wish I just knew what to do in regards to relationships. I just want to be happy, and even though I was badly burned the first relationship I tried again as if that never happened, and I get another very shit person. Wish I knew what to do man. Parents taught me a lot and I don’t know if I’d wanna be as unhappy as they have been their entire bloody life.
@anazumer7860
@anazumer7860 4 жыл бұрын
Feel you both, mine just recently got divorced and although this change has made some difference it still doesn't change the fact that we've lived in basically both emotional and phisical prison for two decades... Safe to say some should've gotten devorced (a lot sooner) or never married in the first place. Because it's not like you can just forget everything and start over when it has been a part of you for so long and they made you believe it was normal...
@SSSS-ey5pm
@SSSS-ey5pm 4 жыл бұрын
Are you sure you have mental issues because of your parents and not just using them as an excuse to blame them for your troubles Instead or taking responsibility for your life and actions? I say that because I wasted 12 years of my life blaming someone when the whole time it was ME!!!! I just didn’t want the responsibility for my own life! Please google “inner engineering” - it may help. Take care
@DC...
@DC... 4 жыл бұрын
@Reshu Bhattarai Huh? I thought it was the girl kissing the toad to restore his humanity under the nuance of love transcending form. The core value was that their station is irrelevant to the determination of the character because she took the time to appreciate the good within his nature and overlook appearances to see a make humans beauty which is comparable to the stature of a prince.
@rezaasadi890
@rezaasadi890 4 жыл бұрын
@Reshu Bhattarai how old are you ?
@VarshaManoj
@VarshaManoj 2 жыл бұрын
When I was younger, I read this sentence somewhere " I want my first marriage to be my only marriage ". Back then I didn't understand coz I thought people only marry once. But now I understand.
@allenbalaz5012
@allenbalaz5012 2 жыл бұрын
One of the finest arguments I've ever heard about why you shouldn't ever have children and why you should think long and hard about getting married -- and talk to a lawyer first about what divorce in your state entails. "What's love got to do with it? -- Tina Turner
@CountArtha
@CountArtha 4 жыл бұрын
"Before I met my wife, I was incomplete. Now I'm finished!"
@elienader480
@elienader480 4 жыл бұрын
Norm McDonald?
@bealltho1
@bealltho1 3 жыл бұрын
Hahahahahahaha!
@Nokss87
@Nokss87 3 жыл бұрын
😂 😂
@jonlcfc1
@jonlcfc1 3 жыл бұрын
elie nader I thought Rodney Dangerfield, might be wrong
@a.k.emerson424
@a.k.emerson424 3 жыл бұрын
😄
@vince7777
@vince7777 6 жыл бұрын
This all sounds good, and I grew up thinking this way, but after being in a marriage where my wife did everything she could in actions and manner to convey she did not want me around, what is a person to do? She would not participate in the relationship. After being told so often that "I should just leave" I left. I can not be with someone that does not want me.
@avapilsen
@avapilsen 5 жыл бұрын
Vince Garcia sorry to hear that. It sucks when you aren't appreciated.
@tofuguru941
@tofuguru941 5 жыл бұрын
Why did she not want to be with you? Clearly she must have at some point. What changed? I hope you guys had that conversation.
@dorotawoyn6053
@dorotawoyn6053 5 жыл бұрын
So why did you marry Her?
@TheNightWatcher1385
@TheNightWatcher1385 5 жыл бұрын
@@dorotawoyn6053 I'd wager she just wanted a door mat that would pay her mortgage.
@dorotawoyn6053
@dorotawoyn6053 5 жыл бұрын
Nickoli Lion 😢
@orion7873
@orion7873 7 ай бұрын
wow, spot on ... I needed that. My wife kinda sucks most of the time but I know it's best in the longrun to stick it out.
@Funancialism
@Funancialism Жыл бұрын
What class is this XD he's just spitting bars instead of teaching the lecture LOL. Love this guy
@justlol7281
@justlol7281 Жыл бұрын
LMAOOOO I didn’t even realize that XD. Imagine being in this class, and then thinking “he never got to the lecture” 😂😂😂 Like he’s just some conservative professor stuck in his old ways complaining about how much society is changing XDDD
@Funancialism
@Funancialism Жыл бұрын
@@justlol7281 lolol
@Youdontknowwhatliterallymeans
@Youdontknowwhatliterallymeans 3 жыл бұрын
It's hilarious when people say "the marriage" didn't work, as if it had nothing to do with them.
@nadinegomez8858
@nadinegomez8858 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly 🙄 denial at its finest
@AG-dj6bc
@AG-dj6bc 2 жыл бұрын
Well put
@InfinityReptar
@InfinityReptar 2 жыл бұрын
What if you marry a narcissist?
@Youdontknowwhatliterallymeans
@Youdontknowwhatliterallymeans 2 жыл бұрын
@@InfinityReptar You should have recognized the narcissism in advance. It's too late now. No one's perfect, anyway. Honour your vows and get help if necessary.
@eitanr
@eitanr 2 жыл бұрын
People are more fickle now than ever before. Vows have lost value. People marry, divorce, and remarry as easy as going to the bathroom.
@alexp7274
@alexp7274 4 жыл бұрын
Going through separation now. And I warned her of all this. Almost verbatim. She went ahead anyway. And now we're living the life that JP describes here... and I predicted. Most married women today, especially the attractive ones (my wife from whom I'm separated is one of them) just see other men looking at them and flirt with them and the minute things get a bit hard (for us it was my business and financial reasons, and they were temporary), they start talking to their "girlfriends" who have the same mentality and before you know it, here I am, separated after 17 years of devoting my life to her, with a 5 year old daughter. And she's already jumped online and met a guy on a dating site who she's now seeing, without me having a clue who he is and how he may treat my daughter in my absence. It's frightening. It's selfish, reckless behavior by women who could care less that a man's life is also important to him. Especially a family man's life. And I did everything for this woman... I mean EVERYTHING before and after getting married. And she always acted like I was her soulmate and her rock. Yet she flipped the minute she was told that we may have to tighten our belts for a bit and live more within our means. And I warned her about the consequences of going the divorce route. The exact things JP talks about here. She could care less. It's all about her. It's like watching a car coming at you, yelling for them to stop, them hearing you, and running you over anyway. Consequences and the future and safety of our daughter be damned.
@markbills4122
@markbills4122 4 жыл бұрын
MGTOW
@danguild
@danguild 4 жыл бұрын
The single life is always in the back of my mind. The possibility of a care free, sex filled and exciting adventure is just one argument away. Some of my friends are single and they say they don't want to be in a relationship, it's great being able to do what you want. I've had a shit day at work and now im sat at home being moaned at because the spare room still isn't finished, and in the back of my head there is this amazing care free life I could be leading. It's advertised to me everywhere, the temptations are there. She makes me happy, so why am I so quick to dump here when things get tough? Why do I have this mindset? Where did I learn this behaviour? I grew up in a normal home and my parents are still married so why am I like this? I know that single life isn't what I think it is, but I'm quick to tell myself that it would be better, the grass is always greener. In my previous relationship I left her numerous times for this utopian life and we always ended up getting back together. I'm in a new relationship now and have been for 3 years. I love this woman but the temptations are still there. The only way I can get on top of this is to understand where it comes from and why. And it's not just me, 50% of my male friends feel the same way. Is it society? Is it my upbringing? I'm sorry I'm waffling on about myself but I get the impression that your partner probably thinks the same way that I do, even after 17 years. Lust draws you in, everything is great, you get into a relationship, the honeymoon period ends, the mask begins to slip (on both sides) and flaws are exposed, things become difficult and arduous, arguments are more frequent, sex dies down and life with that person isn't as fun as it was. All the while people like me aren't looking to solve any issues or put in a shift to make things better, no I just keep poking my head over the fence to look and see what other people are up to, what other gardens can I go and explore, I'm not happy here and I want out. Towards the end of my previous relationship i changed and I gave commitment a go, we hadn't split up for a few years and we were planning to get married. I paid the bills, cooked the dinner and tried to be this nice guy worthy of husband status. I was different from the weekend drinking warrior I once was, out drinking all the time with friends, I was more compassionate and understanding, we made plans together and did more as a couple. It wasn't long before the house became untidy (when I was away with work) and she started coming home later from work. I suspected something was wrong but she didn't want to talk to me. In the end she got with a colleague from work and off she went. It was probably karma but I learned from this, she should have left me sooner in all honesty. Your partner may yet regret her decision but dont show weakness and don't chase her. You need some thinking time, it's difficult because you have a child together. Can you ever forgive her for what she has done? Would you take her back because you want to be with her or for the sake of your daughter? I'm sorry this is a long response but your comment struck a chord with me and how shit I am at being committed to someone. I'm doing my best to understand my flaws right now because your experience is what my future partner might end up going through unless I dont sort this out, and I don't want that. Peace
@doom-driveneap4569
@doom-driveneap4569 4 жыл бұрын
Alex P You should have went MGTOW bro but I hope you learned your lesson. Stay strong King, especially for your little girl 🙏🙏
@doom-driveneap4569
@doom-driveneap4569 4 жыл бұрын
Mark Bills thats what I’ve been telling all men on here with their heartbreak stories smh. If only they knew. Stay MGTOW brother 🙏
@heliaalves9062
@heliaalves9062 4 жыл бұрын
I feel so sorry for your situation! Focus on your daughter. Focus on your well being. You sound like a genuinely good person. God can right every wrong, I pray He blesses you.
@maggiem8254
@maggiem8254 6 ай бұрын
I respect and love those who are brave enough to tell the truth.
@alanafromoc
@alanafromoc 2 ай бұрын
It's always a breath of fresh air to hear an intelligent man speak. ❤❤
@punchtothegut
@punchtothegut 4 жыл бұрын
my exwife still left after she cheated on me. we each said "I will never cheat on you" in our vows. At least i meant it...
@zombies4evadude24
@zombies4evadude24 3 жыл бұрын
Your username perfectly describes this comment
@SouLoveReal
@SouLoveReal 3 жыл бұрын
I certainly DO hope that you've healed, or that you ARE healing. Just remember this, "You LOSE them the same way you GOT them." If whatever man she is with now KNOWS that she cheated on her husband, he will NEVER fully trust her because she could easily do the same to him... in which case, he will beat her to the punch and leave HER "punchEDtothegut." Do they STILL call it "KARMA?"
@cindyreeves5048
@cindyreeves5048 3 жыл бұрын
Understood
@iamtheoffenderofall
@iamtheoffenderofall 3 жыл бұрын
Nearly 4 billion women on the planet. No matter how good a match you think you are for someone....there is someone better. Even if she was that 1 in a million....still 400 like her. One in a billion? Still 4 like her.
@AbhinavKumarSahai
@AbhinavKumarSahai 3 жыл бұрын
get rid of prostitutes
@tevinrittenhouse6012
@tevinrittenhouse6012 5 жыл бұрын
I understand what he’s saying, but my mom and dad divorced and it was the best thing that ever happened.
@keithlauderjr1691
@keithlauderjr1691 5 жыл бұрын
Had they worked it out it would have been even better is the point. Yours is a rare case. Most are all negative for all involved.
@nikoskabbadias
@nikoskabbadias 5 жыл бұрын
@@keithlauderjr1691 JP is talking bullshit on this one. If you find yourself having been constantly unhappy for a long time, get out. Life is short. My divorce was the happiest day of my life, and I don't even hate her, we just weren't right for each other. As for if you have kids, can your kids be happy when you are sad? You will not be made poor if you have signed a prenap, or if you didn't get married in the first place.
@reemCGR
@reemCGR 5 жыл бұрын
when i was a kid i used to fantasize all the time about my parents getting a divorce, i can't wait for that day to come sometimes staying is 10 times worst for everybody, if you're miserable and hate each other just get a divorce
@keithlauderjr1691
@keithlauderjr1691 5 жыл бұрын
@@nikoskabbadias Happiness and sadness are chosen states. When the going gets tough, just quit. Words to live by. How about either selecting better or owing up to your pledges. Or just quit.
@nikoskabbadias
@nikoskabbadias 5 жыл бұрын
@@keithlauderjr1691 I chose my words very carefully, and you are substituting them so that you can mock what I am saying. You are trying to do to me what reporters try to do to Jordan Peterson. When the going gets tough, keep going because you re tough. But when the going is *constantly sad and unsatisfactory* get the hell out. Yes all relationships go through tough phases. That doesnt mean that all relationships are equally good or that all people were made to be in a relationship/ marriage.
@ryansterling4030
@ryansterling4030 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for your information
@bobnevels9125
@bobnevels9125 Жыл бұрын
I went to Barnes and Noble and looked at a Sylvia Plath poetry collection and it occurred to me while I was reading that her poetry seemed to be a steady stream of imagery for a reason. It's not simply aesthetic. It's a point of view. I read a documentary about her early nature poetry. Her source of independence seemed to be grounded in it. The poetic dialectic seems to be a map of maturity. There's where I need to be firm in my ground, not principles. Principles tend to take care of themselves as long as I choose my ground wisely. Then I love the landscape that I'm in and I write as though I were a part of that landscape. And then there's the world that comes to meet me apart from my poetry and then there's what I want from the world. Sylvia Plath's poetry seemed to turn dark only because she didn't get what she wanted and all she had left was the ground left standing. The refusal to move and the courage to never surrender or yield as an individual against a relentless and uncaring world is romantic in itself. Even if it's not what she wanted it's what she had gotten. How I write has been the same way. Some of my poetry had been thin in images lately and maintained a layer of sophistication in rhyme and meter and values, even though it seems naked now with less images. What I want became more clear. In a way that's a victory. But the pleasure of writing apart from things that allow me to be present in the now and not simply looking to what I want years from now is the advantage of landscape poetry. That's why I wrote about deserts for so long. I'd already solved the rather dissolutioned puzzle of marriage that seemed to baffle Sylvia. It's just a means to untangle a death web and to regain sanity. That's what marriage seemed/seems to me, so love must not have been real, or so I thought. I presented a tough challenge to marriage by separating the two distinctions between companionship/love versus marriage/ and soul cleansing. That meant that the only two distinctions left were whether love and companionship were the same thing. I discovered that love is just pure energy created from companionship. But love isn't companionship. Love/companionship/marriage were the big three that seemed to be the promise of the same thing. The way I looked at it, Sylvia fell for it and was "duped" so to speak by the false promises of marriage and only discovered it when it was too late. Poetry is what offers the union. Marriage did provide a social structure that gave my daughter room to be herself within a safe structure. Even though me and her mother divorced, the structure of marriage as a social infrastructure remained intact. Marriage as a source of social stability seemed to be created by a marriage between one man and one woman, but once that was broken apart through character separation the infrastructure of support remained intact. Marriage became a source of sanity for me as a father apart from an insane broken and defeatist environment. Within an ugly sea we stayed a strong beacon of hope that allowed for time and negotiation. But poetry promises more. What is the role of a husband and a mother if it's not simply about staying together and it's just infrastructure for stability not just for the kids but as a way to plant a flag for the sanity of adults too? I am a citizen of the United States before I was married and still one after. Having successfully created a marriage infrastructure I was equal to the infrastructure of the United States of America. That meant that marriage gave me more freedom to move in and out of the swamp as I see fit. I still have the benefits of that marriage and remain responsible to it. That means that marriage has played an integral part in my poetry. But I've kept my poetry separate from my daughter and my home. Somehow it was clear to me that poetry is an individualistic quest of personal responsibility to find fun and companionship that I earned once the marriage structure was intact. It's a timing liver too. No one could marry my mother-in-law unless their timing was best for the family. The same is true for me also. The value of marriage is when two people who love each other on borrowed time can create an infrastructure within society that can allow them to move freely. But that's not necessarily obvious to someone like Sylvia Plath. Love/companionship/sex was sold as being what marriage was about. It's not. Sylvia's poetry kept her honest about that, even if it's not what she wanted to believe. It does involve those things sometimes, like anything else, but those qualities are human qualities. Poetry is the promise of something better than marriage with a personal infrastructure of what land I choose for myself and the choice to not be moved while the future always moved in the landscape purified what I don't want so that I can see what I do want and to gain for myself what I do want if that's possible. I just placed the lesson of marriage within the lesson of poetry. They're not the same thing, but for me it lead to insight about marriage as though I were on the inside looking up and taking notes on what marriage is and what it should be. It was an innocence between me and the mother of my child that consumated love hope and strength with a child. And then because her mother was a part of our child's birth with strength and astonishment her timing allowed her to be the mother my ex couldn't be. The strange thing about marriage is that I could see the flaws of everything all at once with perfect clarity and it was my job to negotiate with everyone how best to untangle everything. That seemed to be my role as a man within a marriage that kept/keeps the structure of marriage intact so as to keep the bad webs out. I'll write something else about poetry. That requires clarity because marriage in itself is something that I was able to sail underneath and around and to help build because of the poetry boat I inherited as though I was/am both an insider and outsider at the same time. But that's not the poetry boat. That's the benefit of poetry in supporting a bigger boat/yacht known as marriage. The poetry is a one woman/man boat. It can allow another person on that boat. My ex was on that boat with me. A part of her still is, but she's on her own boat now. It seems clear to me that poetry is meant for two people. But it isn't marriage. It's something else that's more pure and selfish and still sacred. In this sense Dr. Peterson is wrong. Marriage isn't about keeping people together no matter what. That's a false purpose that the government invented for itself. The purpose of marriage is that the strings and webs within it need untangling and if the spouses have any sense then they'll untangle the webs they inherited.
@josephabraham4058
@josephabraham4058 4 жыл бұрын
I hear you professor. I married a woman and remained married to her for 10 years. We married very young. We had a family very early. We didn't fully understand her problems with bipolar. We didn't understand personality disorders. She had 8 affairs in 10 years. I'm glad I left.
@hotpepper5037
@hotpepper5037 4 жыл бұрын
wow she is compulsive. marriage is not about happiness because human heart are weak and full of chaos and evil.
@thinkboutit
@thinkboutit 4 жыл бұрын
Same here brother.
@bc1248
@bc1248 4 жыл бұрын
LOL! How many did you have?
@bc1248
@bc1248 4 жыл бұрын
Mr Man LOL! According to insane males.
@bc1248
@bc1248 4 жыл бұрын
Ron Garvin LOL! How do you figure that? I mean... With all this patriarch stuff. The man is the head of the family, house and woman right? Nobody is nothing without a man around. A woman is nothing without a husband and kids are nothing, bastards, without a father right? The mofo can disappear and go for himself and everybody becomes nothing just because he’s not there. So what do you expect? To walk away financially scot free? Pay no alimony or child support? LOL! Is that what you mean by rigged? You have to spend money there when it’s over? Boy oh boy.... You guys crack me up. Want all this power and then no expense of it out of your pocket. Truth, you have it backwards. The marriage and family system is rigged against women and children. The fucking sperm donor, you can call the husband or dad if you want, but a sperm donor is all he really is, gets rights to the kids over the mother! Just because he donated some sperm he can take the children away from their mother. He don’t care nothing about them, but will take them away just to hurt their mother. A dude can kidnap his kids and flee to another country and actually get away with it. If the mother comes to the country and gets caught bringing her kids back she will be arrested and put in jail like a criminal. The system is so rigged against women and children it’s not even funny.
@evian.
@evian. 4 жыл бұрын
People get divorce because they see wedding as a romantic event.
@tennisgleem
@tennisgleem 4 жыл бұрын
looses common sense fails to see the future dream .......becomes angry sad divorced
@nataliemunoz8600
@nataliemunoz8600 3 жыл бұрын
Most people are more into the party/ceremony than in building a commom project. Once the party is over, real life begins.
@VersusARCH
@VersusARCH 3 жыл бұрын
It is enough for one of the two to screw up...
@imfrederic2312
@imfrederic2312 3 жыл бұрын
Most people seem to view their wedding as their marriage. They are all focused on that one day and partying and making it special while completely ignoring the fact that they're supposed to plan their whole lives together.
@lincolnduke
@lincolnduke 3 жыл бұрын
We dont celebrate difficulty or hardship, easy example is the Rocky films. We love winning the fight and being champian and "AAADDRIAAAN!" but the actual work to be a boxer - "You need a montage!"
@karolinakournossova
@karolinakournossova 2 жыл бұрын
Jordan is priceless of undressing the reality of life without any fairytale bul**t and alarming you with using your brain first and before making any stupid move 🙌
@cookiemonster8142
@cookiemonster8142 11 ай бұрын
This man Jordan Peterson is what makes me proud to be a Canadian. God bless you Jordan!
@43nostromo
@43nostromo 5 жыл бұрын
Boy, this is a hard thing to hear because I'm 50 and my last long-term relationship ended over 15 years ago and it is rough being single. I'll keep it simple: keeping vows and trying to make it work is important if for no other reason than to have someone to say "Hey, can you pick up the other end of this table and help me move it into the garage". I love my cat, but in that regard, is kind of worthless.
@VoIPPortland
@VoIPPortland 5 жыл бұрын
Ugh. You want a replacement mommy not a wife. Stay unmarried.
@mohdig9
@mohdig9 5 жыл бұрын
VOIP Portland how the fuck is "grab the other end and help me move a thing to the garage" a motherly behaviour???? Did you make your mother do physical labour or somethin?
@anneb889
@anneb889 5 жыл бұрын
VOIP Portland Where are you getting that? Even in a dismal marriage you have some companionship, someone to drive you to the hospital if needed, someone to help you move a piece of furniture. I heard a video recently where the guy said that studies are showing loneliness reduces life expectancy as much as smoking or obesity.
@cb11368
@cb11368 5 жыл бұрын
VOIP Portland missed the whole point.
@sushmita9040
@sushmita9040 4 жыл бұрын
Stay strong. Love can happen any second.
@jchis9852
@jchis9852 3 жыл бұрын
My wife and I were married for eighteen years before she passed away March 2020. We've had our disgreements at times like most couples, but we mostly enjoyed a happy and loving marriage. One thing I will tell you is that the word divorce was never ever part of our vocabulary. Our love and commitment to each other was far greater than our temporal disagreements. It all comes down to putting each other first in the relationship. When couples learn to do that, then they can begin to enjoy the love and care for one another that couples who have been married for 30, 40, 50 years have also enjoyed and has been a key to their long marriages.
@aguy559
@aguy559 11 ай бұрын
“Putting each other first,” as in, think of your partner BEFORE yourself?
@Zolet
@Zolet 2 жыл бұрын
I love the way he is removing and putting back his Ring while talking about getting divorced (3:17)
@eltrinogomez777
@eltrinogomez777 3 жыл бұрын
People should listen to this man,he is a gift to humanity..
@jumafaro
@jumafaro 3 жыл бұрын
I've always been inti-divorce. I mean, I am not talking about domestic abuse or systematic adultery. But from couples around me who got divorced, did it because they were 'tired of each other' or 'they weren't in synch anymore'. Till death set us part means something. In sickness and in health means something. In poorness or in whealth means something. But the majority of people don't seem to get that.
@crystalbluewire3339
@crystalbluewire3339 3 жыл бұрын
" We just fell out of love " The most juvenile reason for divorce that I have ever heard. That was right after she had their kid.
@sherly4959
@sherly4959 3 жыл бұрын
Divorce and staying in a broken marriage are both terrible.
@alicewhite9343
@alicewhite9343 3 жыл бұрын
People should learn about life and the potential issues it may bring into their way before committing to anything that is of value, well that's why there's so many divorced couples because marriage cannot be valued by feminists and weak men.
@UncleDaniel
@UncleDaniel 3 жыл бұрын
Shit changes with time. Mught take 10 years to change
@hvacdesignsolutions
@hvacdesignsolutions 3 жыл бұрын
They're just words....grow up
@simonhodgetts6530
@simonhodgetts6530 3 жыл бұрын
This is one of the best explanations of marriage I’ve ever heard, and it’s certainly given me a new perspective on my own marriage. So, it’s not meant to always be easy, or maybe ever easy, but it is a true bonding and commitment between 2 people, and, if like me, you don’t believe in divorce, you’d better make it work somehow. Being married is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but by golly, I’m going to make it work!
@TeaCup1940
@TeaCup1940 Жыл бұрын
Don't you have children? That is the hardest thing, not the marriage part. That part is quite easy. The having children and raise them properly is the most difficult task and it is impossible to know until many years later if it worked well or not....
@masterlee9822
@masterlee9822 Жыл бұрын
the Real Reason for Marriage, Acquiring a good cook and being able to pass on the genes of the master race and being able to train your own death squad.
@nehalnagib3783
@nehalnagib3783 6 ай бұрын
Go for it and make it work by alll means you got ❤
@nbo9026
@nbo9026 2 жыл бұрын
why has marriage become this thing that you can quit? There are exceptions but in general it's going to take hard work to succeed and it's worth it when you stay together. Why were we fed so many untruths about life being easy or happy all of the time? Thank you JP
@mplsguy5012
@mplsguy5012 2 жыл бұрын
100% spot on. I don't agree with a lot of his stuff, but he's on the money on this one.
@adilsonlegalyt9647
@adilsonlegalyt9647 6 жыл бұрын
He was absolutely spot on in the end, children emotional cost over adults is much higher then its financial costs.
@sabah4123
@sabah4123 4 жыл бұрын
Whether yr married or not.. 🙄
@evry1loveronica
@evry1loveronica 3 жыл бұрын
These kids are so lucky to be hearing this at college
@woyaochinidedoufu2753
@woyaochinidedoufu2753 2 жыл бұрын
No, they're not. Jordan wants these kids to take a gamble and possible have their lives ruined by the divorce and family courts
@nwbrian9697
@nwbrian9697 11 ай бұрын
2:50 really resignated with me as my wife and I are going through a rough patch. The last straw for her was me bringing a formal shirt to a planned event that I thought fit right but ultimately didn't. Traveling a block to the nearest mall to grab one from macys or another store was out of the question, so we had to leave before the event even started. After an emotional conversation today all of a sudden it comes out that her mother got trapped in a marriage with her father because of kids and she felt the same way after our second was born a few years ago. Now, I'm grappling with how to deal with separation and the kids.
@ryansmith3405
@ryansmith3405 2 жыл бұрын
The world needs more Jordan Peterson!
@jkeezy93
@jkeezy93 5 жыл бұрын
I felt that part at 3:00. I felt that so hard in my life. "If you avoid the problem you'll have it every day for the rest of your life" He said it with the same resentment a married person would. He meant that shit from his soul.
@belindagarza3958
@belindagarza3958 5 жыл бұрын
J Keezy I’m glad to know that’s not just me and my husband. We’ve been through some crap but we work out what we can and wait until we are ready to work on the other stuff. But yeah the stuff we haven’t work out yet we pay for over and over again until we get to it. At this point I’d like to smack both our parents. They weren’t kidding when they said marriage is work.
@haha-cm6pg
@haha-cm6pg 3 жыл бұрын
"If your brother has better garden than yours, get up and start planting. If your brother has better house than yours, get up and build house with well designed marble. If your brother has a better wife, sorry, do whatever you want, you will never beat him" Matoub Lounes.
@nekki9228
@nekki9228 2 жыл бұрын
Team Rocket be like to each other: "Look! I know that you're trouble! Me too! Let's make it double!"
@akferren1
@akferren1 Жыл бұрын
I’ve been married and I hated it.. loneliest I’ve ever been.. thank god for divorce
@MylesKillis
@MylesKillis 5 жыл бұрын
The other problem is that people take it as a well you know I'm flawed so just accept it. No no no. I know I am flawed and I need you to tell me so I can fix it
@von_freiesleben64
@von_freiesleben64 5 жыл бұрын
amen
@sushmita9040
@sushmita9040 4 жыл бұрын
this comment deserves to be on top.
@enigmatheinfj5346
@enigmatheinfj5346 4 жыл бұрын
*MOST UNDERRATED COMMENT*
@Bleiser3
@Bleiser3 4 жыл бұрын
Yea top comment. People are bigots. Most family problems come from the thing that people go in to relationship without checking each other well enough. Most get attracted together just purely by sex.
@eyesofthecervino3366
@eyesofthecervino3366 4 жыл бұрын
I can't like this comment enough. My older sister had a philosophy of "I don't want you to tell me if I'm doing something wrong, so I won't tell you either," and it -- well, talk about double trouble. Practically speaking, the actual result was that, on top of not being able to discuss problems civilly with her, I had to try to read her mind just to avoid driving her crazy (and eventually facing consequences for that). The worst part by far is that I think she's gotten the rest of my family conditioned to that response, so that now even when I'm saying "I have no idea what I'm doing, I have no idea what I'm doing wrong" nobody will give me any feedback beyond "we're sure you can do whatever you put your mind to". Maybe sounds like a crazy thing to complain about, but . . . I've been left totally alone to figure out my life, and I'm slowly imploding. It's frightful.
@Astrid0705
@Astrid0705 5 жыл бұрын
"Voluntary enslavement" True description And true a divorce not let you escape too
@TheCbot88
@TheCbot88 4 жыл бұрын
Like what he says about life. If you dont choose your sacrifice the decision will be made for you
@silentnature1079
@silentnature1079 3 жыл бұрын
@@TheCbot88 I decide for myself. No marriage, no enslavement. Single and Happy. Liberty ❤️
@breakaway2x
@breakaway2x 10 ай бұрын
Incredible insight on the reason for marriage.
@heribertolvera
@heribertolvera 6 ай бұрын
THANK YOU DR. YOU JUST OPENED MY EYES.
@Rubberglass
@Rubberglass 5 жыл бұрын
Amen to this! Marriage is hard but it’s making me a better man and I love my wife for that!
@juliedevaney8364
@juliedevaney8364 5 жыл бұрын
Drew Fletcher great to hear!! That’s one of the main points of marriage... EACH PARTNER ENHANCES AND SUPPORTS THE OTHER. However, there will likely be times when you support your person, nevertheless you hold them up by showing them a better way, a better perspective, not by manipulative or controlling measures. But because of one’s own life experiences and desire for the ONE YOU LOVE to have a GOOD LIFE. You will offer this support & honesty ... because you want THE VERY BEST FOR YOUR PERSON & FAMILY. To intentionally sabotage your partner and family will only work to destroy YOUR OWN PEACE. 🔄 LOVE without ending
@fieldworthyairsoft1436
@fieldworthyairsoft1436 5 жыл бұрын
If you need another person to make you a better person, you’ve already failed.
@darkmanx8497
@darkmanx8497 5 жыл бұрын
Dumps your ass? Lol why are people on youtube such negative fortune tellers? Such idiots.
@darkmanx8497
@darkmanx8497 5 жыл бұрын
Paxton, then don’t take those odds. Only losers, compare themselves to others. Winners will learn from the other half that are losers. Besides just because a marriage may end, doesn’t necessarily make it a failure either.
@koanstarr9393
@koanstarr9393 5 жыл бұрын
Buahahahaha
@jaredfontaine2002
@jaredfontaine2002 6 жыл бұрын
Yeah This is what marriage was BEFORE non fault divorce
@big_petebear8535
@big_petebear8535 6 жыл бұрын
Jared Fontaine .. True. Also It was better back when people were bound by their word. Now days, liars are no longer austrisized by polite society. There are no constraints anywhere. Getting married is easy and so is divorce. The law of no fault divorce came as a consequence of the massive shift of culture durring the 60's.
@dandre3K
@dandre3K 6 жыл бұрын
Chris Read Marriage has always been a business contract.
@HistoricLife
@HistoricLife 6 жыл бұрын
My grandfather was abusive to my grandmother, cheated on her, treated her and his own kids like dirt. He had all the power in the relationship. What a wonderful world it must have been because they never divorced. OTOH I've been married for 14 years, have 2 kids, my wife is educated and makes more than I do by a small amount. There is no abuse in our relationship and it is in not under threat of falling apart. Naturally we are atheists where my grandparents were evangelical so we fit perfectly into the data about Americans and divorce. This video is dead on about the price of divorce especially if you are not well off.
@HistoricLife
@HistoricLife 6 жыл бұрын
Woman being abused should have a way out, I believe the rise in divorce is not just because we have this law but because women have become more wealthy and independent over the decades and are not stuck with abusive partners like our grandparents were. Lets also look at the age of when children are born today compared to then. Both my grandmothers, even some of my aunts, dropped out of high school because they got knocked up. It was super common until the sexual revolution. My wife and I had our first kid at 37 and the second at 40 and we had been married nearly 8 years at that point. Power dynamics have changes, for the better, and lasting relationships are now build on trust and mutual respect.
@dennisgorelik
@dennisgorelik 6 жыл бұрын
The divorce is even more expensive (in absolute numbers) if you are well off. But if you are well off - you can afford it.
@Nyxlaru
@Nyxlaru 2 жыл бұрын
My parents divorced and are still friends, im very happy that it went well and that they still have contact.
@laurengarcia2568
@laurengarcia2568 7 ай бұрын
How old were you when they divorced. That’s nice they are friends ❤
@Nyxlaru
@Nyxlaru 7 ай бұрын
@@laurengarcia2568 i was nine, yeah its very nice that they still talk to each other normally :)
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