The Reality Of Being With A "High Value Man"

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[@profwaynewsmith]

What one values says a lot about how they see themselves. I didn't care about my wife's external qualities (beauty fades, incomes can change), it was her heart, her trustworthiness, and her intelligence that has kept me married for 25+ years.

[@user-my6ss4mz4l]

Amen. I just dealt with a major loss in my life and my wife has been by my side 100% since it all happened. That is a high value person.

[@paulsawczyc5019]

Heart, trustworthiness, intelligence - and everything else can change too. It all comes down to luck - pretty much everything is luck.

[@vladchan]

Not much is asked of a woman really be trustworthy kind and emotionally stable. But it is easier said than done for a lot of women.

[@ImJiom]

nope it was your kids that kept you together, everything else only kept you together for the first 2 years

[@paullucas3]

Brother, you’re a blessed man, my heart goes out to you! May the lord shine upon you and your future.

[@om617yota8]

39 seconds in and I'm chuckling. Yes, a high value man is going to want to be with a high value woman. This shouldn't be a surprise.

[@hrdkorebp]

Problem is most of these girls thinking simply being attractive makes them high value.

[@samsung70346]

I was going to leave a very similar comment right down to the time stamp

[@samsung70346]

Yeah dating a high value man is great until he wants you to act like an adult

[@positronikiss]

Value as in financially? Thats all that matters these days right?

[@ohmaramusic]

​@@positronikissHigh value has more to do with virtue in my opinion. High virtue typically results in economic and social success.

[@INTJ.softy-be4ll]

A 'High Value Man' is when one year into our marriage we experienced a catastrophic event and he was RIGHT BY MY SIDE. It took us years to recover and it was very difficult. Neither one of us was going to bail or let the other down. 17 years later, we are stronger than ever.

[@kevinscott59]

According to most contemporary marriage stats women are far more likely to both want to get married as well as bail on it.

[@INTJ.softy-be4ll]

@@kevinscott59 That is a shame. I think if I was starting out again, I'd be primarily looking out for personality traits (especially Thinking vs Feeling types). I'm a logical thinker myself and was drawn to my husband's intellect and drive. We are awesome teammates who plan, problem solve, and get stuff done! It helped that we had great physical chemistry too. 17 years on though, it's definitely quality over quantity.

[@thepragmatist]

Exactly. Good for both of you. Congratulations!

[@fireballchaser]

My ex-wife got breast cancer and was told she would have other problems for the rest of her life abecause of a genetic condition that caused it. I was with her every step of the way. I went to every single doctor appointment and spent every night with her except one for the 2 or 3 weeks she was in the hospital. It wasn't just about her physical recovery either. Everyone she knew said how well she was handling all and she said it was because of me. Even with all of that, I didn't feel like I did enough and was worried about caring for her in the future so I left my good career as an engineer and went to nursing school so she would always have an RN to take care of her 24x7. Then we got divorced because she was lied and was sneaking around doing who knows what with a guy who was "just a friend."

[@INTJ.softy-be4ll]

@@fireballchaser I'm sorry that happened. You didn't deserve that and your ex-wife doesn't deserve you. One thing though, I wouldn't have left my engineer job to be an RN just to take care of her. I would have hired someone/asked family to help out in the interim instead. There needs to be a balance. What would you have done differently? Take care.

[@yongkysiaw6597]

It really is cringe calling rich dudes as "high value".

[@salkoharper2908]

Half my family is very rich, half is poor. Guess which half of my family are mostly good people and guess which is filled with scumbags, narcissists and just really shitty people.... Guess which half.

[@yalrdyknow]

In a sense, they sort of are

[@yongkysiaw6597]

@@yalrdyknow value means more than just rich.

[@chuusenberg519]

@@yongkysiaw6597figuratively sure but stop coping

[@yongkysiaw6597]

@@chuusenberg519 thank you for proving my point.

[@Metatarsus0]

This is why men are putting more value on reciprocal effort at all stages of attraction. High value men usually have the most to lose but nobody likes being used or taken for granted.

[@Z-Interceptor]

key words here : reciprocal effort 👍

[@tehlaziness]

Bingo. There's a lot of talk about womens' "bare minimum" on this side of the internet, but willingness to occasionally reciprocate effort is basically the bare minimum for most men these days. And so many of the girls out there make that seem like such a ridiculously high bar to clear. It's really sad what trying to find a companion has turned into...

[@Portia620]

Yes! Intelligent comment as vultures can be men and women! Everyone should be very careful whom they allow into their life! I take my time as a woman that continues to imporve my life! I want to be an amazing partner but also want that in my partner too! I agree with her that high value men seems to be correlated with rich! 🤦‍♀️. I wish people would have healthy relationship advice not rich man fishing! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@Portia620]

@@Z-Interceptor❤

[@Z-Interceptor]

​@@Portia620 People definitely misinterpret 'high value' with monetary value, instead of morals & personal values. Surely this can't be the majority of people, because it can't compare with those two, which are far more important than money IMO. Having is something you can always acquire down the road. Being is your personality & choices, and ultimately who you decide to become. How can this be overlooked so easily ?!

[@moleahy6880]

I'm an older guy and have noticed that most women want to date a very successful man and to them I answer be careful what you wish for. If a woman wants to be loved, adored, prioritized, and maybe even put up on a pedestal she is far more likely to get that from Joe Average than Joe Highly Successful. Successful Joe prioritizes himself. His needs and his wants and that's why he's very successful. He's loved himself for far longer and far better than he's ever going to love her. And that's not going to change merely because she shows up. Too many women nowadays have a very inflated sense of their values. They all think they deserve nothing less than that very successful man. But the majority of these guys have lots of options and they aren't going to be particularly enamored of any one woman. If anything, he'll think she is very very lucky to be with him.

[@pace1195]

Women don't want to be pedestalized because those men immediately get friend zoned. These women want the successful man; she just doesn't want the competition from other women.

[@victorchen5663]

@@pace1195 Well she's going to have a LOT of competition from other women for that successful man, and she's going to have to constantly bend over backwards to keep that man.

[@frozunyogert6159]

PREACH! It does seem like young women increasingly seek out the most successful "high-value" men. That's certainly the case on dating apps. When 80% of women are holding out for the top 10% most successful men, that leaves the vast majority of men unwanted & alone, and inevitably results in a lot of single women as well, if they're unwilling to settle for average guys.

[@user-rd6px7cj4d]

​@@frozunyogert6159its human nature to want the best for survival. Nature is brutal. Not everyone is going to make it. Social media just exposed this nature

[@lilylife4426]

I dated an average Joe right before my a lot more successful fiancé. The average Joe was way more self-absorbed. The average Joe guy called me once in 3 days and was very moody. My fiancé is thoughtful, attentive, and generous, a great communicator, and I appreciate him so much.

[@stephensams709]

I'm 68 years old and I had never heard these terms until a few years ago and I've got to say, it leaves my head spinning watching these women. As far as being high value, I think a lot of women have different ideas of what that means to them. I've been married for 38 years and I'm glad that I''m not dealing with dating scene any longer : )

[@Snake369]

they've largely popped up in sections of the internet in the past few years, less than 5 really.

[@kendanielson7204]

I, too am 68 years old. Married 42 years, widowed last fall. The internet has totally changed dating and not in a good way. All these buzz words and radicicolous BS from "influencers" makes me realize there is no way I will date again. I will enjoy my peace with my projects, house and dog. Women say "I don't need a man", Yeah, well.. I certainly don't need a woman so there. I do enjoy Courtney's perspective on these videos and fashion. though little of the fashion stuff pertains to me as older in a very small town.

[@HSE2inc]

Everything has to have a label attached to it now, and we are the lesser for it

[@Pdrum2]

Yeah it's silly,

[@Portia620]

Me either but assumed the terms were for women wanting rich men. Your lucky! My one and only marriage ended when I became sick and now I’m better but he abandoned us all (almost 30 years together). Found out I married a con. Now scared to date and have many men and could have the so called high value rich guy. I want classy guy and that’s scary as still working on my trust. 🙏😢. Funny how people that cheat move on so fast and us high value (I’m not rich) are trying to find classy people! High value seems to mean a man who is a product and that is NOT classy. We are humans! 😡🤦‍♀️ Your lucky Married and have someone to be by your side. Blessings. 🙏

[@maxwillson]

I know a married couple that are multi millionaires and they rarely post to social media. Their life is so busy, they don't have time to post to social media. They don't show their mansion or anything on social media. You wouldn't even know they're multi millionaires if you saw them walking around Walmart. They look like normal people.

[@soichirohonda267]

They are high value people.

[@user-rd6px7cj4d]

Rich and busy. Poor and busy.

[@enemy1134]

none of my closest friends or family knows my net worth. I consider myself a walking lottery ticket for someone and it keeps my frame of mind as the prize. I don't have social media or if I do it's anonymous. Ultimately want a relationship where the woman doesn't have to work and can focus on raising kids and homemaking. She can work if she wants, I just want her and my family to have the option not to. I don't flat out say I want these things, I try to discern if women I'm dating naturally possess them.

[@richardjamesclemo6235]

@@enemy1134the mother of my future children will not be working, they have to meet that condition to have my kids.

[@thepragmatist]

@@enemy1134 You're smart.

[@michaeloconnor8071]

I totally agree about the term "high-value man" being worn out. I've noticed that can mean either a man with a lot of money or a man who's emotionally mature and secure in himself (or both), and I have to try to read between the lines to figure out which one they're talking about which is annoying.

[@Carmelo-dame.time-Anthony]

It’s a balance, financially stable, hygiene is good, actually working out, having frame and being able to actually talk to people to be respected by men and women

[@aluisious]

It's easier to not try to read between the lines and go talk to someone interesting who doesn't use bullshit lingo.

[@mikes1939]

It’s just “alpha male” rebranded. Referring to people as being alpha or beta became cringe. So people came up with a replacement. And now instead of saying alpha/beta, people say high value man/low value man. I cringe just as hard hearing either terms used unironically.

[@JohnPickup-CDHS-ze6qd]

We used to call it a "catch"

[@Leukick]

@@Carmelo-dame.time-Anthony It's simple, it just means having the traits that women, on average, "value" highly. Hence the name.

[@davidpeel8831]

A high-value partner is someone who will stick by you when the going gets tough. Everyone loves you when you're winning. The person that stands by you when the chips are down is a high-value person!

[@ricky5538]

Golden answer.

[@FXFBS23]

Nailed it. When you’ve been through it, you know.

[@aluisious]

Can you write one whole sentence without using a cliche?

[@aztecvspec002]

This. Right here.

[@davidpeel8831]

​@@aluisiousyes

[@jtrojan]

Seems that A high value man has become a label for men that many women are willing to share. These man possess the looks, success, money and life style that women are attracted to. No mention of these men having integrity, being honest and respectful in their interaction with other people. Women have posted lots of videos on Tik Tok about their disappopintment that the men they desire did not want them.

[@pace1195]

Ding, ding, ding. Tell him what he's won, Johnny!

[@user-rd6px7cj4d]

Because those men are getting sex from mutiple woman. Why commit at that stage?

[@travisscott5422]

Yeah, whenever I bring up ideas of personal progress or goals or responsibilities to some girls I've dated, literally just flies over their head. I feel like there are many out there who want to just float along and have a guy give them stuff.

[@su-minoon802]

I follow your KZbin postings because I have 2 young adult sons who are dating. Reflecting on my dating experiences over the decades from my 20’s to my 60’s, I find that the older I get, the more independent and secure I get, the more education and success I attain, the more financially secure I become, etc., the more I don’t put up with crap and quick to reject women. I don’t need women who bring drama into my life. I move on without giving them a second chance. I tell my sons to do the same. Gather up your toys and move to a different sandbox if a girl does not play well.

[@kelleychilton2524]

Same here, I have two sons in there 20s and I wonder what they're faced with in the dating world. I tell them that if something doesn't add up with the woman then move on and don't hesitate to be ruthless about dumping her, because women will surely do the same.

[@brianthesnail3815]

I follow for exactly the same reason as you because of my young adult sons and trying to understand their world and support them if I can. I am also 60 but still with my wife of 40 years. The values that are the bedrock of relationships that work are still the same as they always were.

[@tims708]

My man

[@Swearengen1980]

While that's usually good advice, you're also teaching them that relationships should be perfect and easy; they'll never be work. They'll never be able to compromise or rationally talk through differences. That entire attitude of "without a second chance" will quickly morph into them being the unreasonable shit heads who think it should be their way or no way. You're raising them to be just like the women you bitch about. There's a balance to be had; no relationship will ever be 100% perfect.

[@enemy1134]

@@Swearengen1980 I see your point but there's a difference between handling some conflict and being with someone who is conflict seeking. Educating young men on recognizing that early is imperative in the current dating market.

[@leonh2044]

For 6 years I tried to keep my ex girlfriend accountable and raise the standards for our relationship. When i would call her out on things she would consistenly misinterpret them and say she would never be good enough for me. When in reality, i just wanted her to improve.

[@parawizard]

Self labeling to avoid actually working on herself.

[@darrinelford1473]

Women do not want to change and do not want to be accountable

[@Swearengen1980]

Not everyone is ready for self improvement. On the other hand, maybe you had no tact in how you handled it. You don't "call her out" if you care about her, you find smart ways to touch on delicate situations. If you made her constantly feel like she was never good enough, you were handling it wrong and clearly not realizing she had delicate sensibilities or perhaps insecure. Half the shit I see men complain about, they were equally at fault and are too dense to realize it's not ALL on the woman. It's just as likely that your communication skills fucking suck as it was that she refused to improve and couldn't take criticism.

[@MKULTRA_Victim_]

Sounds like you should have bailed after 1 year

[@leonh2044]

@@Swearengen1980 calling out is not the right word. I had many sit down talks with her about how we could improve together. I treated her kindly and helped her in every way I possibly could. Over time I saw a consistent lack of effort and lack of commitment to the goals we would discuss. Reasonably I grew frustrated because I was incredibly patient over 6 years. I tried to lead the relationship by example and never asking anything of her that I was not already doing myself. Looking back on it I should've definitely left after 1 year or maybe even before that. There were so many red flags about her but many of them things that were out of her control. She was my first serious girlfriend and I did so many things for her I don't believe she truly appreciated the things I did for her. She paid me by cheating on me and hiding her phone.

[@David-qn8ot]

Your takes are spot on. But more importantly, your delivery is easy to listen to and makes people wanna watch the next one. Thanks for your thoughtfulness, calm demeanor and integrity. So refreshing.

[@CourtneyRyan]

You are so kind. Thank you 🤍

[@justingary5322]

@@CourtneyRyan Kevin Samuel's KZbin channel talks about high value Men and Women in terms of what they offer lifestyle wise but I disagree with him about that being all high value implies even though he passed away two years ago. High value Men and Women are Wonder people but aren't particularly special if it just means financial gain and resources. It's about the quality of the individual human beings you have in your life. Congratulations Courtney on the 700k subscribers 👏🎉. I did Wing Chun martial arts and volleyball in high school so I know that physical conditioning and fitness is crucial for healthy life and relationships. Men are expected to lead in the relationship with her, take care of themselves physically/emotionally and psychologically as well as be self sufficient because Women like Men who are better than them in certain aspects but are Women deserving of Men? Roma Downey is another KZbin channel with content like this. My idea of an ideal Lady who's a chick with brains and beauty who is kind , accountable for her actions and words and doesn't hate people plus can tell me if I'm making a mistake 😭💔. I really respect Mrs Courtney Ryan for at least trying to help Men and Women out in promoting healthy relationships, positive mindsets and growth in individuals 🙏 ❤️. I'm a 24 year old single Christian virgin guy working as a teacher and counselor seeing unhealthy relationships in people occasionally despite being single myself because I'm happy alone in DA ZONE 😂. I've been watching Courtney's videos since 2021 so her channel is really helpful especially on KZbin and social media. This has nothing to do with the video but please listen if you want to otherwise leave it alone and ignore it. Hello my name is Justin and I'm a fellow Christian and Apologist but I'm also a college graduate. I'm not a closed minded Theist as I have nothing against Atheists or unbelievers as I speak to them often to understand their reasons for unbelief but we as Christians are convinced of God's Existence due to many real factors). I'm not trying to convert anyone or convince anyone to become Christians as that's The Holy Spirit's job to help people believe but only explain why I believe in Jesus Christ. There's actually evidence of God's Existence in Christianity. First of all there's proof that Jesus of Nazareth existed in history since the writings of Tacitus, Josephus Flavius, Pliny the younger and other historical documents prove that He was living two thousand years ago that even scholars both religious and Atheists agree with historically speaking but not that He's The Divine Son of God because obviously they don't. I'm going to give you historical and archeological evidence for God's Existence as The Scriptures have prophecies that predate the events recorded in them by several millennia including Matthew, Hosea and Zechariah which prophesy accurately of the people of Israel becoming a nation again after over 1900 years of being scattered around the nations since the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem in 70 A.D. spoken of by Christ in Matthew 23:29-24:3 and returning to their homeland after The Holocaust with Jerusalem as their capital in 1948 exactly as Jesus The Christ said. The prophets including Daniel spoke of the time where several world empires would arise and fall including the Babylonian kingdom, Medes and Persians, Roman Empire, and Saladin and the Muslims which went in consecutive order for the past few millennia. The people of Israel becoming a nation after The Holocaust in 1948 (ironically the melting point of gold as God compares Israel to gold that's tested in fire in Zechariah 13:8 and Jeremiah 16:15) exactly how Jesus The Christ said would happen since God us everything to come in The Scriptures and not just because people were working towards as Atheists claim which are impossible for any regular man to predict. Just before anyone says Christianity is a white man's religion made to oppress blacks during slavery you obviously aren't aware that the first Christians were Jews in The Middle East and that Christianity just like any religion can be used by evil and corrupt people to oppress others but you forget that the first Abolitionists/Civil Rights activists were Christians who sought to abolish slavery, racism, segregation, injustice and prejudice throughout American history. Jesus The Christ loves you enough not to give you what we all deserve which is God's Wrath by His Own Blood. Charles Darwin didn't originally come up with The Theory of Evolution over 200 years ago as it is mentioned in the writings of Ancient Greeks who believed in Demons that gave knowledge to philosophers. Evolution makes no sense when nothing has evolved after thousands of years of human history and supposedly the first creature came from primordial sludge several millions of years ago funny how they won't believe that God an Eternal Almighty Spirit Being created us from the Earth) which came from a supermassive expansion of matter at high temperature that inexplicably created everything in the known universe that supposedly came from nothing billions of years ago. How did the organs evolve before there were bones, skin, substance and how did any creatures see before eyes evolved? I've studied evolution and abiogenesis in the past and read Darwin's " Origin of The Species" and I'm not convinced of macro Evolutionary biology whereas I accept micro Evolution like speciation and adaptation but not macro Evolution because there's no evidence of it nor clear observable examples of it where living creatures evolve into other kinds of species plus the fact that fossils don't show evidence of evolution and genetic entropy rules out evolution. The question begs how did two genders evolve from a common ancestor with a perfectly hospitable and sustainable environment with breathable oxygen and resources to survive on inexplicably? Atheists have the burden of proof to explain how everything came to be and why our existence is possible without the Existence of God from an godless perspective just as Christians have to provide evidence of God's Existence and the validity of His Word. Evolution requires life to already exist in order to take any effect in living organisms so it doesn't account for the existence of Life and reality. Also evolution is impossible because it goes against The Law of entropy and the second Law of thermodynamics because evolution makes things better whereas nothing continues to get better but decays and turns to absolute destruction in the end. Mark Ridley an Evolutionist said "No evolutionist whether gradualist or punctuationist uses the fossil record as evidence in favor of The Theory of Darwinian Evolution as opposed to special Creation". God's Existence is made perfectly known and observable in the universe as demonstrated in His Handiwork in the intelligently designed manner that Creation was made, human consciences and consciousness historical and archaeological evidence of God's Word being valid history, fulfillment of Bible Prophecies God in His Holiness and Righteousness could give us what we deserve in Hell for our since but He's merciful to give us free will to choose to accept or reject His gift of salvation by grace through faith in His Son Jesus. I don't mean this is any condescending manner but if you'd like to discuss The Scriptures with me or have me listen to your view on anything my instagram account is Savage Christian Kombatant

[@selfdefenseacademy]

I think it is important for women to understand your last statement about having more than looks. A man that is seeking a great quality long term relationship knows that looks change over time. Attractiveness that transcends the physical aspect is what keeps the relationship engaged and healthy in the long run. Invest in more than just your physical beauty.

[@marissa.h49]

i absolutely agree, when i started dating my fiance i was very surprised to learn that i did not have healthy relationship skills. my fiance always called me out when i was acting disrespectfully, he tells me all the time that he wants the very best for me and every piece of constructive criticism is to help me be better. not only for him, but mainly me. it is very hard to continually work on yourself and learn new things that can be fixed, but i am such a better person now because of him and he has taught me so much. high value men will shock you to your core and lots of women may not be ready to hear that they have work to do.

[@ManOfAdventure2011]

Modern young western women have become delusional becuase of social media 😅

[@rebeccaliew2247]

Good for you to improve yourself...but to balance the scales, is he continous working on himself too? No high-value men are perfect in this world. Hope he's ok to take feedback from you or anyone else too, when his own weaknesses was exposed. However, if he thinks he's perfect (a.k.a. no need to fix anything in himself to be better) + need to tell you/his friends/colleagues they have problems that needs to be fixed according to his sense of justice/goodness = that's a red flag in itself.

[@stardream7412]

I fell into the trap of getting "holding accountable" and "expectation" mixed up in my relationship (especially emotionally), so I appreciate you using them distinctively. And, yes, I find all these terms (alpha, beta, omega) a joke. We should all be high value people, it's just a matter of do we want to be better than we were yesterday.

[@Jacobtube162]

Hi courtney, New viewer here, awesome message you are conveying here, so appreciate it. Coming from a long line of strong masculine men in my life. War vets, business owners, all married 20 years plus. I've always been taught and shown. A mans value in all walks of life is whether it be military, business, or even jail. Is his word. Because if you have nothing, at least be sure your word is your bond. It's powerful and shows integrity and trust. When i met my wife, i told her who i am and what i am, and what i can provide as a man. And I've never let her down. Never. Being 10 years younger than me, my leadership and showing "doing what you say." is important, and she now lives by this and has made her and my life something to be proud of. In short, if all else fails, be what you say you are. Do what you say you'll do and never break a promise.

[@dianaballon0210]

Love this. My partner is 13 year older than me, and a very masculine man who values his word above everything. I knew I could trust him from the start. He has helped me grow & mature in so many ways. I absolutely adore him and admire him❤

[@JayTeeAyy]

There’s a difference of being high value and one of a kind, you wait, and wait, and wait, and that time to meet that person never comes

[@brandenleeyang22]

Relationships should be collaborations. If you're good at cooking, and I'm good at making money, we should collaborate. You cook for me and I supply you with ingredients and we share. That's it, it's not transactional, it's not something special. It's something that is needed for all relationships including business, etc.

[@TheSheepdog54]

Courtney - Your perspective on relationships, style and what is important is refreshing. I, for one, envy the happiness that your husband must have due to being in a relationship with you.

[@bigdogbill8988]

Mrs. Ryan Your awesome.. I would write goals on what I wanted to accomplish for the year… they were realistic, measurable, and pushed me forward.. I would get most of them done.. but at 44 without a woman in my life.. I no longer have the sense of urgency to get it done… the girlfriend effect is real.. and to relax on the the sofa and enjoy a great movie together.. essentially knowing how to relax.. is a great attribute.. and seeing her accomplish things in her life.. that she wants.. maybe it’s small.. who cares.. it’s the heart that matters.. if it’s big.. great as well.. life is too short to concentrate on accomplishments.. all the time.. it’s more of the long term focus of being a “good man” leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.. goals are great.. but they are not if you lose your soul, or your a slimeball dirtbag.. that’s for sure

[@rhadiem]

One thing as a guy growing up, I had pretty high expectations from a woman, and worked on myself for things *I* valued,. The issue though is that what men value is often different than what women value. It took me a bit to realize I needed to level up areas that I have neglected because the type of person I wanted to be with valued those qualities more than I did.

[@yalrdyknow]

Wow. May we know what you are like now?

[@vince1012]

"High value" is a moving target with most women having "buyer's remorse." Also, a truly high value person will not try to micromanage a woman to conform. That's neediness. He will let her go with her thinking it was her idea.

[@VTPSTTU]

Thanks for the video. The short version is that you've made a great video here in response to a great video from the young lady whose video you reviewed. I agree with you that much of the vernacular of the modern dating world is bad. "Alpha" and "Beta" refer to wolves and other pack animals. While there is something fascinating and beautiful about these animals and their social relationships, the terminology doesn't translate well to species that have opposing thumbs, written language, and indoor plumbing. Some content creators are trying to augment the terminology by adding all kinds of other designations. "Sigma" seems to be the most popular. Making the whole thing more complicated doesn't make it more accurate. The family unit that has been best for human society is father, mother, and children, not the more amorphous pack that we see in wolves and some other animals. Generally, people use "high value" to mean "high market value," and the two are not aways the same. I haven't looked closely at cars for a long time, but BMW used to be a very high market value, high prestige car. At that time, I also heard that they were unreliable and required a huge amount of maintenance just to keep running at a lower level of reliability. For many people, a Toyota Corolla would be a better and therefore higher value in almost every way. Off the top of my head right now, I can't actually picture a BMW or a Toyota Corolla. In some ways, the BMW probably does look nicer overall. On the other hand, a reasonably new, nicely painted, well-kept Corolla probably looks nice enough. Someone looking at that car could think, "Yeah, that's an attractive car." An owner who really cared could get one detailed on a regular basis and could even have a body shop give the whole thing a new paint job every few years. In many ways, the Corolla could become a much higher value vehicle than the BMW would be, but at comparable conditions, the BMW will probably always have the higher market value. I think almost everyone wants to feel a sincere attraction to a romantic partner. "Looks aren't everything," but if that's the first thought in a man's head when he sees a woman, he's probably never going to fall in love with her no matter how high her value is in other ways. Some women say, "He's a good man," in a way that says that they really love a man in every way. Other times, "He's a good man," seems to mean that a woman understands the value of a guy but finds absolutely nothing about him that excites her in the least. If a person just absolutely can't fall in love with a Corolla, then that person just can't fall in love with a Corolla. For most people, the right little touches and decorations can make a Corolla attractive enough car for them to have real feelings. For most people, something that is "high value" but not necessarily "high market value" can still make their hearts go pitter-pat. That factor is important. In modern social media, "high value" has come to mean "high market value" and is often used in the shallowest, most selfish way possible. Many men use the term to describe women who are not just beautiful but have a high visual impact that ensures that everyone immediately recognizes that beauty. Many women seem to use the term to describe men who are rich, powerful, and physically attractive. For men, "high value" comes to mean a woman who is not just beautiful but is able to be happy with what he can provide. For women, "high value" comes to mean a man who can provide whatever foolish, vain thing that could pass through her mind to want. These terms seem to be used with a sense of entitlement, and I think you hit on this point very well. Many men who speak of a "high value woman" are wanting that beauty and that respect without having to do anything to earn either. Many woman who speak of a "high value man" are wanting the power, money, prestige, and looks without being a woman that a man would necessarily desire. Feminists in particular seem to ignore the fact that their achieving what they would want in a man doesn't mean that they have become what a man would want. However, they believe that having achieved what they would want in a man entitles them to the man that they want. I've worked in jobs where I look around at my colleagues every day and feel that I have to be at my best every day to be worthy to work on such a good team with such good people. In some ways, that challenge is tiring. On the other hand, I've been in jobs where I looked around and felt that none of the people there were really qualified to do their nominal jobs and that they had the jobs only because the boss was trash and couldn't keep any better employees. I prefer being tired from having to live up to the best than feeling disgusted by being stuck with less than good. I've never been in a relationship, but I can see where people would feel the same way about very good relationships. A good relationship might be tiring for both people at times, but they are tired in part because they are each striving to be their best and not just sitting there wallowing in their worst. This video is good learning all around. Maybe too much of our society has fallen too far to benefit, but I think you're saying things that need to be said and can make things better if enough people follow these ideas.

[@pace1195]

Humans are hierarchical species too. We just have many, many more hierarchies than a chimp troop. The most basic hierarchy is the family and goes all the way up to CEO, President/Prime Minister, or General/Admiral. BMWs are more valuable because people are willing to *pay* more for them over a Toyota. Men value youth and beauty. Women value status and resource collection. We know because more men attempt to get into relationships with young and beautiful women, and women try to get commitment from wealthy and high-status men.

[@Rapidcouplescounselling]

I'm currently dating and would have what many women would consider to have many traits that are high value. I'm 6 feet 4 inches tall, successful business, very active lifestyle, very high eq as a relationship counsellor and high IQ. When I go on dates many women say, I can't believe you are single... and then they freak out and run away. Because I'll be expecting from them what I expect from myself. Integrity, openness to intimacy, self responsibility and commitment. This freaks out many women just like the girl in the tik tok. What women say they want and what they do when it shows up are two completely different things.

[@mmsutantowrites]

Your comments are so balanced and even-handed. Thank you for putting such healthy content! I hope this helps others to work through and improve their relationships.

[@Frosted.Flakes.]

Thank you Courtney, I am learning a lot with these valuable videos on this channel.

[@greeksandromans]

Yes, fatigued by the terminology. None of it is scientific or well-defined, which means that entire clouds of social media users can just project whatever they want into the conversation and spin it around and around forever. Instead of subjective, undefined terms like "alpha" and "high-value", we should deconstruct them into their component parts and start defining exactly what we're referring to - we need to really say what we mean. What are the specific personality and character traits that best align with your own expectations for a relationship?

[@jeffreybrooks8643]

Very good, insightful comment at the beginning of you commentary about all the cliche terminology. Thank you for your Common Sense videos!

[@louisdavis7493]

Morning Young Lady 🌹! I really don't respond to comments, but you made some good points and I want you to know this. There's a difference between being liked and being valued. A lot of people like you. Not many value you. Be valued.

[@kmorton54]

This video makes many excellent points.

[@ricky5538]

Agreed !

[@ajtaylor8750]

This is such perfect timing. I wouldn't consider myself a "high value man," but I do respect myself to a high degree and I recently told a woman I'm seeing that I plan on quitting alcohol. I never once said she should stop drinking, but her reaction said more than words. She basically had a hard time accepting me practicing sobriety, trying to find ways to get me to go back on my promise, and she ended up saying "You're making me want to stop drinking, and I don't like it." Being with anyone who has standards for herself means you will either have to elevate yourself, or get left behind.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Thank you so much for sharing this. Great example and good for you! ❤️

[@nathanielschwartz425]

Well, I don’t have a romantic partner (nor have I ever lived with one), but I do agree and this is also how my friends and I act around each other; we both contribute to our friendship. If we make plans to hangout with each other we hold each other to it OR if one of us can’t hangout on that day because something came up or for whatever reason we let the other person know ahead of time and reschedule it. And also if one of us is struggling with a situation or has acted in a situation in the wrong way, we talk to each other and help each other find a better way to react to a similar situation. That’s what a good healthy friendship is.

[@KwaddyK]

First time viewer. Great video. I hate the term ‘high value’ man. But I agree with the premise. I class myself as said man. It’s a mindset thing. I strongly believe in personal growth and get frustrated when people aren’t fulfilling their full potential (especially when they complain about their situation).

[@jay-t1030]

When people say “high value man” they mean *high income*

[@joelrey5508]

I am just recovering from a breakup (btw ty Courtney for ur valuable content, it helped me a lot), and as older people advised me, I reflected through it. I visualized what went wrong with me, but also for my former partner. One of the things I realized is that I might have been putting too much pressure on her, and not much on me, since she didn't have the healthiest of the lifestyles. This is surprising because I was not like that before the relationship, I have always been very self critical, but being with someone that wasn't as healthy as I deserved, caused me to have a personal demotion. What I can advise to anyone that needs this is getting to know objectively how and who you are. Put yourself in the feet of others. Then when u got everything sort out, focus on improving and know your worth. This will potentially make you distinguish mates that are appropiate for you. I hope this helps someone.

[@razzendahcuben]

No, I am not fatigued by simple terms like "alpha", "beta", and "high value". The meanings are clear and they readily communicate important information about people, especially men.

[@reubenz1480]

I totally agree with your perception of high value men. One things is high value(quality men) and another thing successful. Not all succesful men are quailty men and many men who are not millionaires(most) are quality men or marriage material as you describe. In the end, money does not buy happiness.

[@NCFlexy]

I associate it to getting a very high paying job without understanding what comes with it. People might land a high paying job and focus on the money and not the reason it's high paying. You are expected to produce at a high level, be accountable and be a good moral representation of the company. If you're not ready for that life it won't work out for either you or the company. High value men have options. You need to step up or admit you can't/won't and move along because he won't put up with the nonsense.

[@DmGray]

To me, high value is how you treat people. End of list. That includes self care, where I fall down. But if somebody respects themselves, respects others and acts with kindness... that is high value. And we're all flaws. We all have bad days. We all have people we don't respect (or even hate) so it's not even about perfection. When I see people talk about "ambition" it's an immediate red flag. It's just SUCH a meaningless word. What does it even mean? I see single, divorced parents working normal jobs who say they're ambitious. Or the people who are CONSTANTLY "starting a business" and it's not a nothing burger (how many people buy into MLMs or meme stocks or crytpo because they're "ambitious") Me, I am not and never will be ambitious. I hate telling people what to do, and know the only reward for hard work is more work. What motivates me is helping people. I work in care. Even on my shitty income I have more money than I need, bc I don't need much to be happy. But I take more shifts than I need because I like helping people. Most people amass huge debt to attain a lifestyle they think they deserve. I've probably given more money away to my family than most people waste on pretending to be successful. But I promise you, I'm seen as a loser by the "high value" crowd. And I think MOST of them are greedy narcissists and we'd be better off as a planet if they were fire into the sun :P I just think a LOT of people have very bad priorities.

[@user-cz5lj2vx1f]

LOTS of wisdom in your comment!

[@SeekerGoOn2013]

Wish I could slam the Thumbs up button 100 times 👍

[@TestAcc-lu5cn]

High value does give a shit a what you think. Its just to describe people who are wanted the most by women in general

[@DmGray]

@@TestAcc-lu5cn Except 1) they don't know themselves. 2) it changes even for individuals according not just to maturity, but also to hormones 3) high value is used by morons to pretend they have answers to complex sociological and behavioral phenomena. In some cultures, "high value" is the guy with the biggest gut. In others, it's the one with the best makeup and outfit. In others, it's whether they meet the bare minimums. Culture plays a HUGE part in how people in general perceive value in themselves and others. (those three examples are actual real world examples btw, though the last is due to lack of options due to so many men being killed that the "gender roles" are somewhat reversed) While there are certainly broad observations that apply generally (especially if we focus down on specific cultures) it's STILL ridiculous to assert that "men who get laid the most" are necessarily "high value" Serial killers, gangsters and thugs get plenty of female attention. Don't think anyone pretends they're high value. (except Ayn Rand objectivists?) Despite their "value" to so many women's desires. What I'd suggest is high value is people who add value to a relationship, be it romantic, friendship or professional. Plenty of rich fucks still don't qualify there, bc they are not "givers" by nature. Plenty of people with "high value" in the "sexual market" are toxic and do nothing but damage and traumatise all the people they fuck. Why do you think "body count" matters? Because, apparently, a man touching a woman devalues her. That wouldn't be such a factor if the men they were allowing to touch them weren't a bunch of cunts. The baggage and the trauma don't come from having sex. It comes from who they chose to have sex with. (this is also why I don't agree with "body count" as a metric of value in either direction. I judge people by how they treat me and I understand that highly promiscuous people are less likely to treat me well within a relationship... but I'd judge the BEHAVIOUR, aware that plenty of virgins are ALSO cold hearted arseholes, and some number of "experienced" women are still lovely)

[@user-rd6px7cj4d]

You are high value to those you help

[@randys967]

Man here. All you have to do is-in order-value yourself and your time, only spend time with people whose presence adds value to your life, endeavor to see how you can add value to the lives of those you love, and follow through. If done in order, pushing yourself lifts those around you. It’s that simple. No reason to spend time with labels or trying to dive into others’ heads. Some would call me a high value man, and others wouldn’t; the label from others is irrelevant, as I am high value to myself. 🙂

[@paullucas3]

Thanks for giving me hope C.

[@ebutejane4906]

I agree with you a 100% all these labels are giving me a headache.

[@drdoodlittle365]

I find terms like "high value" "low value" are like a ranking system which is awesome (sarcasm by the way). I love being ranked by someone who knows nothing about me. like "oh you make x,xxx,xxxx,xxx,xxx,xxx amount of money so you are "high value." Or you look a certain way so you must be "high value" or visa versa you look a certain way so you must be "low value"

[@be9988]

Reading through some of the comments on this video somehow I feel like narcissist can be misconstrued as "high value"

[@drdoodlittle365]

@be9988 who's a narcissist me? I'm the most self depreciating human alive. I hate the way I look I'm a broke ass joke of a man who has no money there fore nu woman and I'm also ugly as sin ergo the Gintama avi.*profile pic if uu don't know What an avi is

[@be9988]

@drdoodlittle365 No... I didn't mean you at all, just many comments on the video where it seems like some people might be confusing narcissist traits with "high value" whatever that really means

[@be9988]

@drdoodlittle365 I'm middle aged and married. I couldn't hack it in today's dating culture. It seems truly awful and degrading to both men and women.

[@drdoodlittle365]

@be9988 I was about to say "define narcissist".but you cool so I won't argue with you

[@perpetualprocrastinator]

Well adjusted ,level headed and reasonable - those are the characteristics worth vying for in a relationship.

[@RyanFowlerSOS]

I love this video. Based on what this woman on Tiktok said in the first minute, every man should be high value. Call women out on their bullshit, enforce your boundaries and hold the accountable. Women do it to men, don't they?!?! So let her insist on you being a good man, and you insist on her being a good woman. Not to an unrealistic degree, but certainly to a reasonable degree. You WILL end up with a woman who treats you MUCH better. Talking from experience.

[@crazyhikerdude]

I’m fatigued by women who will ONLY date men 6’1” or taller PERIOD. They are leaving a LOT of good men in the dust. I’m 5’7” and was told “undateable” by women due to height. One actually messaged me “must be 6’ or taller to ride this ride, good luck shorty”. BTW, she was 5’3”…🙄

[@MrTPF1]

Women who think this way actually do you a favor by uncovering their shallowness right off the bat. Trust me, you wouldn't want to be with those women anyway no matter how smoking hot they might look.

[@MsLotusBlooms]

I agree. But how many women do you disregard because of race, complexion, physical characteristics, socio-economic background, etc? Same thing.

[@crazyhikerdude]

@@MsLotusBlooms I don’t… but nice try.

[@ChrisW1019]

I agree that high value does not necessarily equal wealthy. I need to work on both financial stability and being high value overall.

[@jsaintlopez1345]

I agree it takes a lot of work and patience for both parties to learn and push each other to be better for one another. With Me and my girlfriend I feel like we get better everyday when we call each other out and hold each other accountable and in many ways makes me love them even more. As long as it’s done respectfully.

[@Profbaatz235]

yes, i agree 100% with this video and your explanations. it is what i aspire. and maybe i overdo it, because i am single since 13+ years because i dont see anyone meeting my expactations and i dont even know where to look for such women :D i am holding myself to very high standards and i cannot always not hold anyone else to at least similar high standards. i have my clear boundaries and a well-functional moral compass which i am not ready to comprimise... its a pretty lonely life, dont let anyone be fooled

[@michaelsix9684]

high value men got there because they paid a price to reach it, women don't like doing this

[@jdarnellsix]

I couldn't have said it better. Exactly Right ✅️ !

[@nomadman5288]

What men admire in other men is what's actually "high value." Money isn't on that list, but the traits/qualities that are required to obtain it (among other things) certainly are.

[@allyjaylou]

This is honestly an amazing video and breakdown. I realised all of this after being in my relationship thanks to the wonderful man I’m with, however, he could’ve easily and rightfully walked away before I got to this point. Don’t ruin things for yourself and don’t ruin other people. Focus on bettering yourself.

[@Fuerwahrhalunke]

What I'm fatigued by is the fact that we as humans, especially in the west, are constently dissecting human behavior and their relationship to each other. Why couldn't we just live life? By dissecting it, splitting it up and looking at each detail, we automatically let our own subjectivity flow into each aspect that has always been objective, natural and instinctive. Nothing seems natural anymore. Everything has to be planned and thought out. I strongly believe that the moment we began to subjective natural behavior was the moment we began to destroy our foundation.

[@RonaldGibson699]

Hi Courtney! It isn't too complicated. If you want to be with a good person, then you have a be a good person yourself! I hope that you, your husband, and Biscuit are all having a great week! Personally, I don't think that cats should be posting on social media. You should keep a close watch on what she is posting, LOL!!

[@poeticeclipse]

Your reminder of, "Not all women care about money/clothes/car/height" is always crucial and I love it! Honestly, MOST women I know do not care about any of that. I think as we get older and more experience we learn what matters most to us and prioritize that when we seek a partner. What's crucial is finding someone who is aligned with you, treats you well, and matches your commitment/investment. I DON'T want someone who has a hard time holding down a job, doesn't care about saving money, and doesn't have any conviction and discipline to grow in their lifetime. Giving a shit about your job, your house, your health, and your family is so sexy. That doesn't mean someone has to be a millionaire, but they do have to be able to provide for themselves and a future. High-value is also dependent on what YOU value and if that's aligned. I know plenty of people who don't care about traveling at all, but they spend their extra money on video games. Those people don't align with me so they wouldn't really be a "valuable" partner for me. If someone eats boxed mac and cheese every night for dinner and doesn't bathe regularly, that doesn't align with me, so again, not the best partner. Anyway.. I can go on and on. Haha.

[@CourtneyRyan]

You rock. Always love your comments 💕

[@alexanderg5386]

With all that said I'm hoping you bring value to the table, you have to be worthy of a man's resources and qualify, and the reality is most woman don't.

[@poeticeclipse]

@@alexanderg5386 Well, my partner certainly thinks so. We are both very happy with what we bring to the table or we wouldn’t be together.

[@SanVic]

The problem with your post is "as we get older." Why should men wait until you get "older" before you come to this great revelation? Blow us off when you're young, but don't expect us to wait around until you get "older."

[@poeticeclipse]

@@SanVic I’m not talking about “we” as women. I’m saying we as people. We learn what we want and what we need, and that even changes in time. When people are 18, rarely are people wanting something serious like marriage just yet, but as we get older we learn and grow. Just like when people aren’t sure about if they want kids until they are maybe 25 or 35. Everyone is different. If a 20 year old wants a partner who prioritizes travel, but then when they are 35, that changes, then so be it. We learn and we grow. This is not a “men vs women” topic.

[@hatemkamel6039]

This makes ENTIRE SENSE. I always felt like no one puts effort and told that “I’m too emotional”. It’s INSANE. Now I know I need to stay the way I am, and EFFORT for change is what I need most from a woman

[@Hombolicious]

I think one of the most attractive traits in a relationship is to be appreciated. I think it is a testimate to the longevity of a relationship when both partners feel lucky to have each other. I also think relationships are sometimes hard work. You will not always agree on what you want or how to solve a particular issue. A great relationship navigates these tensions in a respectful way, where both sides attempt to understand the other and then decide based on both the feelings and rational/practical limitations what is the best option. Sometimes feelings trump logic and sometimes logic needs to trump feelings. I don't really have an issues with thinking about others in terms of value. We all have values, things we care about, things that matter to us. They're not always the same person to person and so what "high value" means will vary. However, value is also something created socially. I didn't invent my own values, I didn't choose what others see as valuable, and so my values reflect some of values held by the broader society I live/grew up in. We do have the capacity to choose what values we hold but we almost exclusively select from pre-existing values held by others. For myself personally, my word is my bond, if I say I'll do something I will. I try to be as clear as I can about what I want and what I don't. In romantic relationships I address issues very quickly rather than letting them fester. I expect the same in return.

[@RavenNest23]

I'm fatigued by the high value/alpha male talk. Half the time people seem to think the more toxic and rich you are, the more of a "high value man" you are.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Same. Can’t get on board with it

[@zoltanfabiansk5795]

Such thinking is typical for most of the women! Nothing new under the Sun!

[@Steve13C]

Alphas of any stripe seem to be toxic and it often seems to be an excuse for people to act like other people are beneath them.

[@pace1195]

And, the other half of the time, those people are wrong because those are the top 5% of men women flock to consistently.

[@pace1195]

@@CourtneyRyan Your husband easily stands at 6' in comparison to Kevin O'Leary's 5'9"-5'10", and he owns a luxury watch company. Teddy may not be toxic, but you didn't get hitched to a blue collar worker wearing high vis gear and driving a work truck daily.

[@Veci_RigVeda]

I found myself icking whenever I talk about high/low value persons, lack of definition means people will project their own views on this term. Rather than low/high value persons I found myself being more comfortable in terminology like being the best version of yourself, if you’re diligently working to be the best version of yourself you won’t accept any person in your life which thorns on being/becoming the best version of yourself. You know you found a keeper if you find yourself a mate which aspires to be the best version of herself, there’s a hidden power when two of such persons come together and form a relationship.

[@user-cz5lj2vx1f]

Beautifully stated!!!! (one of the 5% of courtney's female fans)

[@Veci_RigVeda]

@@user-cz5lj2vx1f , appreciate you!

[@Vortex_ICEcold]

YOU LITERALLY FUCKING DESCRIBED A HIGH VALUE PERSON 🤦🏻. Being the best version of yourself FOR YOURSELF and placing YOURSELF as priority is what creates high value. I don’t get what the confusion is about lol. It’s not that hard to differentiate the two. The only people who do have a hard time are *ahem* low value people as much as they don’t want to admit it.

[@EmbraceTheStruggle24]

Being a high value man (or woman) has its rewards and sacrifices...however the one thing that can never be ignored is the psychological and intellectual makeup that will potentially outweigh materialism and wealth, along with fame and fortune. Being recognized and valued is important (but not always for the reasons one might imagine). And for survival of the species; we should be able to separate morality from mischief and not always rely on material possessions or 'feeling the need to get ahead of others' just because its the popular thing. And many people in various cultures lack this basic selfawareness... and Being aware of certain biases and prejudices is essential for overall value; high or low - and even then, the value men and women have at their disposal is not always an exact science. Even though ive never considered myself to be if ULTRA, MEGA high value; i do believe its just as important to be resourceful, responsible, and educated...even if it means not living wayyy above your means; a common economical struggle for many that tend to desire material possessions over experiences and intellectuality (though im not perfect in these areas by any stretch) but just having that 'fundamental awareness' will get you further than what most would believe as a fallacy more than anything. Value especially 'high or low' value is a broad, complex, and fundamental term depending on how you view it.

[@jdarnellsix]

Yes it exactly how I operate I like to call it the REAL WORLD. LOOKS will always be the Strongest Motivator

[@drip369]

In this Modern Age the definition of high-value man is the men that are in the top 10% top 3% and top 1% of men when it comes to earnings experience and looks

[@rswear]

I tend to equant 'holding someone accountable' as bullying them. I saw one of my sisters bully herself through 4 husbands so far all in the same of holding them accountable. The other sister, her husband figured out how to encourage her to do what she wanted to do all along, big difference. Clearly we were raised by bully parents who called it accountability. Encouraging others to be the best version of themselves can be amazing, and the more amazing thing is, you end up encouraging yourself to be a better version of you at the same time.

[@user-ex9ti7ds3m]

This is how I conduct myself and what I’m looking for. And that’s exactly why I’m not dating right now while I work through baggage that a kind woman may be tempted to help with but ultimately would be unfair to bring into a relationship at this time. No sense in embittering a good woman before I am able to be the husband I want/need to be.

[@industrial-steampunk]

It has taken me a while to warm to you but since I started watching your clips you are my goto for relationship advice, keep it up

[@LuisArias-ui5dw]

So classy as always keep up the great content Courtney 🌹🌹🌹

[@CourtneyRyan]

Thank you my friend! 🥰

[@djdiaz3482]

Hello to everyone I hope you all are having a good day 😊

[@CourtneyRyan]

You too my friend! 🥰

[@elektrovert]

This is how I want to operate. After a bad marriage and divorce this is how I need to operate. It's going to be an interesting adventure now I'm almost ready to start dating again. I was very nervous about starting to date again after so long, but your videos have put my mind at ease. It's nice to hear you're advice is along the same lines I've been thinking anyway. Thank you! 😊

[@benjamincarnes9117]

There are only good and bad people. If you are looking for other qualities such as “monetary” you are setting yourself up for failure. Money comes and goes. There is only one of each person and they all bleed red. The quality of person you pick should be based on the content of their character. Good quality people usually aren’t broke but also not filthy rich. Be humble and you will be happy. Figure it out. It’s what everyone else is doing.

[@pharmcat8484]

Being honest here, I haven’t been able to see a difference in you as a KZbin host since I got here. Pretty excellent across the board.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Well I’m flattered! 😂

[@KillaCommieFerMommie]

Yep.... like the Bible says.... "Don't be unequally yoked".... I work with a guy who's 100 lbs overweight, and looks like Bubbles from "Trailer Park Boys".... He literally picks apart every woman there is.... when he deserves someone like Rosie O'Donnell.

[@Uracas2012]

This channel keeps getting better and better! Thank you

[@faith-manages]

I think "fatigued" is indeed the right word for any of those overused terms. I don't put much stock in labels or those who use them on others or on themselves, especially cliched terms.

[@angelacosta466]

I think a high value man is how he treats people, is confident, has ambition, is a leader, and that can get through hard times also. Money is important but if he’s not a good fit in the relationship, things won’t work out.

[@brownmetal]

Some women want rich dads. Rich dads pays for everything: food, housing, cars, etc and take their kids on vacation. It’s what they want.

[@CherryFlower24]

that's rich cuz most men wants a mommy that picks up after them, do their laundy, tidy up the house, cook them food....etc

[@brownmetal]

@@CherryFlower24 most men can do all of that themselves or they pay for a cleaning lady that picks up the house when he’s gone. If women feel like they need to be a man’s “mommy” then they shouldn’t be in a relationship and just enjoy being single so they don’t get those responsibilities.

[@GuppyPal]

Great video, Courtney. I feel like you really hit the nail on the head in this one.

[@backyardrailroader]

I agree. Labeling people. Putting them in categories. It is nonsense. High value means different things to different people. Many times it includes wealth and looks. Too many people have a checklist on what they want in a person. I guess I am in the 'option category' since I have many friends, acquaintances, and dance partners, but no one is close. Fine. The most important relationship I have is with me, and that is all that counts.

[@darrenskjoelsvold]

High value to most women means rich. To higher value women means smart funny and good men. So high value means different things depending on the value of the person using the term.

[@megsley]

as a 38 yo married woman, I don't hear a lot of women (in real life, not online) expecting their dude to be rich. none of my fellow married lady friends have rich husbands either, and they're all happily married.

[@SanVic]

So true!

[@darrenskjoelsvold]

@@megsley so for you high value means your husband a man of substance. Well congratulations then because you're actually high value yourself. hehe.. I meant what I said about it meaning different things to different people. You're married and you have a good relationship I presume. That's actually more rare these days. So the comment about "most women" doesn't pertain to you and neither is it applicable to your friends. This isn't unusual because birds of a feather flock together after all. Not that I am calling you a bird it's just the idiom. But yeah as far as to you and your friends the latter part of my comment about it meaning a good man is more applicable. You're good people. Good people think of something different when using the term. That's one of the reasons why "high value" is a largely useless term and not very helpful. It's too subjective. But I will conclude by just saying congratulations to you and also your husband and your friends and their husbands as well. You all are very rare people. You should be proud of that.

[@Vortex_ICEcold]

If a women defines high value as rich then she’s uneducated. It’s that plain and simple. This goes for dudes too.

[@AmericanBosch]

Guys, at the end of the day.... it doesn't matter how good of a person you are, the girl in the video lives in a great house that he pays for so it's ALL about the money. Being a good person is just a bonus. If you just have a "good enough" job with a "good enough" apartment or house..... you're screwed.

[@Ap_twsh]

Yup and any guy that listens to the fish instead of the fisherman shouldn’t be suprised of the results.

[@Cajun_Jay]

Yes indeed! All those things play a factor, then you see oh the guy is 6ft and has a 6 digit income. That's why he got what he got as a girlfriend. Cause funny enough I have those same good guy morals with a "good" job and "decent good apartment" starting off, and I'm still single. Ohh yeah, I'm not 6ft and have a 6 figure income. Ahhh my bad.

[@SanVic]

" it doesn't matter how good of a person you are" = so true. Dating has nothing to do with meritocracy. This is excellent: "the girl in the video lives in a great house that he pays for so it's ALL about the money. Being a good person is just a bonus."

[@soichirohonda267]

CR has excellent advices and very "healthy & happy" view on the relationships. You guys have all the rights to think whatever you want, but I really don't know what are you doing here?

[@Cajun_Jay]

@soichirohonda267 You are right, Courtney posts good insight and all. The girl in the video looks totally the part of what we are saying. And not every girl is that stereotype. But man is it trending towards that way. And it may not be all the NYC high rise type it all trending to, but in the rural areas it's similar things. Custom big trucks, a boat, a nice hunting lease. Anything that shows disposable income is a non-issue. The guy may not have all that yet, but the parents may do. And a girl notices that and see the future potential.

[@octavianr526]

The video is sincere and with grip on reality. Many of us want to be with somebody better than we are...

[@GoChaca]

Having someone whom we can hold each other accountable is huge and missing in many women I meet. I am very into my fitness and health, so when I meet a woman that wants to skip the gym to drink beer and eat pizza I am turned off. It is critical I be with someone that wants to grow with me and not bring me down.

[@justins4274]

A real high value man knows that putting expectations on others won’t make him happy. Even if some woman acted exactly the way he wanted, it still wouldn’t be enough for him. God made it that way, so you would look to Him.

[@robertmiller5789]

This is the attitude of close to 100 percent of women today . The 3s think they deserve 8s and above.

[@MajorasThirdEye]

​@robertmiller5789 49ers... 4's that think they're 9's.

[@man_of_iron]

It's not about putting expectations but moreso having expectations. They're not telling women to do X and Y. However, they don't tolerate bad behavior. To these men, because they have more options, they're more likely to let a woman go if she becomes more trouble than she's worth. Whereas average men would tolerate some bad behavior from these women because they're above average in looks.

[@lisaaustin4561]

@@man_of_ironit’s not just looks they need to bring to the table. These women also need to be wife material. Emphatic, loving, works out, eats right, has a career or at least isn’t expecting him to pull the entire financial load by himself.

[@azazel673]

High value men have standards. You know why? Because they can happily stay single if they wanted to. They’re not gonna settle with some low value girl with no values lol. It has to be an amazing woman that meeds ALL of their expectations for them to consider being in a relationship.

[@nattypnetto]

I’m currently dating a high value man. When she says it’s takes a different kind of woman she ain’t lying. Although, I’m incredibly thankful to have crossed paths with this wonderful human being…I will say it has been my most challenging adult relationship I’ve ever been in. I thought I had it together in every way and boy have I been shown differently. He has helped refine me in a way that I didn’t know was possible. So ladies, please keep in mind that you need to come to the table willing to accept the responsibility of your shortcomings and how you can improve yourself not only for us but the relationship as well. ❤

[@CourtneyRyan]

I love this comment so much! Thank you for sharing your experience 🥰

[@user-zz3rr4qf1p]

I hope people don't get the wrong idea and think I am super arrogant because I am not. I know that I am taller than average, average male height is 5'7". I won't go into all the standard average measurements for body or money... let me just cut to the honest summary, in most areas of measurement I am slightly above average. I don't have any addictions or illegal habits.. I am generally an overall very decent man in character. So, I am a decent catch. I don't expect a very young supermodel type woman who has plenty of options to consider me her ideal and best option... But I find that in the dating market today women who are around my level in attractiveness, career, income, health, age, weight...etc... women who are close to average or maybe even slightly below average want nothing to do with me. They feel they are far better than I am and would never accept an invitation to date me. I find that the only women who show any interest in me are all 300 plus pounds, obese, kinda ugly, not employed or working part time jobs at low pay, don't have any education, often have several kids from several Daddies...etc. I simply cannot accept these women as my equal or the best I can do. Yet, these are the women who might date me. I tend to prefer to stay single. I think that the problem is many people (Women especially), have unrealistic standards based maybe on TV shows and Movies, about who the average man is. I also think that all the empowerment messages make women think they are much more attractive and appealing then they actually are compared to the average women out there. Watching this video I see Courtney you are wearing quite the large diamond in that wedding ring... So, I assume you married a very wealthy man... so I think you might be a bit untruthful about how much you value a man's wealth, and how much you judge a man by his income. However, maybe that is just me jumping to conclusions based on what I observe so much in the real world around me. Let's assume you are being honest, maybe you only valued his wonderful personality and later discovered he could buy you a ring worth many 10's of thousands?

[@TheSaneHatter]

I don’t like talking about anyone’s “value” in this way, because it’s the kind of language you’d hear at a slave market. Seriously.

[@thebestcat9601]

Yeah I feel a lot of these terms are dehumanizing. Also, rating people by a scale of 1-10 is dehumanizing.

[@Phoenix-Brah]

Good balance thank you Courtney for spreading wisdom✌️

[@jesusprofessor314]

Thanks Courtney. I agree. One of the things I've said is, "Do you really want to marry the person who would marry the pothead version of you?" But you phrased it much better.

[@masterful7574]

Agreed. You can tell when someone is trying, but just not equipped.

[@billmckelvey5003]

Any person that is very high integrity has the knowledge and ability to accomplish anything they set their mind to. Patience is part of integrity. Integrity = high value

[@bobbyrebholz2183]

Thanks, Courtney. You're one of the few on KZbin that talks about relationships calmly.

[@pneudmatic]

This is excellent content. It is fair to both men and women, and constructive overall. And yes, 'high-value', 'alpha', 'beta', these terms tell you more about the person using them than the people they are supposed to describe.

[@octavianr526]

My psychologist, a good one, a woman, says directly: "Any relationship is transactional. Because you are staying with somebody for certain (or not certain but unconscious) BENEFITS, and the other too". Do not try to avoid acknowledging this reality by softening the facts, as they seem "inhuman" or with a lack of empathy etc. When it is not transactional, it is very unhealthy, e.g. someone may stay with somebody because of pity or because of hope he can "fix" the other or because he enrolls in the destructive salvation role (therefore accepts nothing in return). You cannot stay with somebody without REASONS, and this are the core of a TRANSACTION.

[@konstantinrebrov675]

Seeking benefits in a relationship is individualism, and it's an unhealthy relationship. It's a wrong philosophy. Don't be seeking benefits, instead think about how you can serve the other person. Never trust western psychologists ever. Confucius is the only psychologist that I need.s

[@ManOfAdventure2011]

A high value man is mostly subjective by the woman. However, the baseline for men should be the best version of himself. If a woman chooses him then he is high value in HER eyes.

[@mihai2303]

Excellent speech. I'm cycling btw i ditched the cars. Don't smoke never did. There might be some benefits to smoking preventing them to go to fentanyl or similar drugs. Compare the smoking rate in us Vs Europe and fentanyl deaths in us Vs Europe.

[@mathieusan]

I love a smart and down-to-earth woman

[@maenad1231]

The things she listed 3:15 also applies for age gap couples. My husband is in between 13 & 14 years older than me. He pushes me to better and I love that

[@victoryisforever769]

I agree about the buzzword fatigue. I call the usage of such terms lazy thinking. It's when you grab a whole bunch of ideas and cram them all together into a single word so that you can forget about nuance, and to prevent yourself from having to think. People often do this when they meet people or introduce people, they'll assign a word or two to describe them, maybe even throwing in a political term or two, and suddenly theres a value system, morals or lack thereof, and perspectives all assumed even without knowing the person. Buzzwords takes this and shifts it into an even more impersonal direction and on a grander scale. It's so tiring, especially because when you actually delve into the topics and try to dissect the underlying themes of the terms such as "high value man/woman", you soon realize the people you're discussing with don't comprehend or even have any context on what they are.