The Rumination Train - Time to Get OFF!

[@GoddessHabits]

This was one of the most helpful videos on KZbin I’ve seen. The way you framed rumination and why and what and how has helped me.

[@MichaelMcLaughlin-t7o]

Dear Stephanie, Your words are saving my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Michael M

[@catb8661]

I was a Master Ruminator during my divorce in 2017-2018. Then I moved over 2000 miles away that helped me since I was away from the drama. But now that my ex is getting remarried this month and two of my three adult daughters are estranged from him and fighting with him over his turning his back on them and the grandchildren because of this younger woman, I'm back to high anxiety levels where it's affecting my blood pressure. I wake up with burning acid in my chest over my worrying about the toxic family dynamics. I had gotten a lot of therapy years ago, but it's time to seek out more counseling for my peace of mind. I've been trying to unite them all, but it's not working. Life is too short and I'm almost 74. I enjoy getting advice from yours and others' videos on these topics.

[@robertashaffer3950]

Take care of YOURSELF Cat. You know what you need to do. Sending you lots of positive energy 🙏

[@ianmcnally8501]

Try not to let the drama take a hold of your heart and life. I let go of alot because I found out it actually has nothing to do with me! Kind of amazing revealing.

[@steadypace1262]

Yes Cat B life is short and it's the right time to put our physical and mental health first if we want to see our grandchildren grow up. Worry just puts us in an early grave now wouldn't that make the narcissist happy, stay strong.🕊

[@catb8661]

@@ianmcnally8501 It's just hard not worrying about your children, even when they're grown. And I'm so sad that Grandpa chose not to be in his beautiful grandchildren's lives. The younger woman he's about to marry has never had children, so she has no idea what family means to someone who has nine grandchildren, and his family used to mean the world to him.

[@ianmcnally8501]

@@catb8661 Breaks my heart Cat, so sorry. I bet you are great to those children!

[@ianmcnally8501]

Such a great talk on rumination and breaking that cycle. I was down that rabbit hole yesterday, and I decided to break it by going for a run, which I never do. Now will try meditation, thank you for all your help you explain things so well and have helped me greatly with my divorce.

[@jonosay854]

💙💜

[@tanyawatts3896]

I’m only a few weeks out of a violent narcissistic marriage of almost 30 years. Of all the challenges I can say ruminating is like torture for me. I am looking for every way of overcoming it.

[@elizabethandersen6009]

This is thee best video in the world! All of that is me and I am so tired. Thank you for doing this video.

[@GreyAlien11]

I unfortunately jump down rabbit holes and I never come out good 👍, you are 100% right!

[@vivere__]

I catch myself ruminate at night when it is quieter and my mind starts thinking on things that bother me. I've learned to catch myself doing this and consciously decide to stop thinking about these certain things that I can't take action on in the moment or are unimportant. I understand it is my delayed response to something or my mind analyzing or working out situations. I've leaned to stop the mind wandering for too long. The present moment is here to fully enjoy.

[@חניתהאזולאי-ט5נ]

I feel also so stress and exsaity over my body...some time if I take magnesium at Nighy it helps...but if I sleep at noon it's Realy hard not overthinking ..also negative thought.i try my best all cind of tactics push the negative thought away.feel good as well!...I have say it's only happened when I am realy in moments of my life when I am in a big big stress and everything again comes to me...

[@dannykan384]

Again, you are an angel in disguise!!!

[@gregoryking9348]

I'm ruminating less often compared to the last almost 4 years since the brutal discard but it sneaks in now and then. My health also spun it drastically during the previous 4 years. Like a switch was thrown, multiple things blew up at the same time. Onward and upward though! Thank you for your videos and insight!

[@mfrance3834]

Good advice!! I’ve found that I tend to ruminate when I’m overwhelmed and subconsciously seek distraction…start focusing on something else and it becomes a nonstop cycle of rumination. I do make an effort to pull out of it but it’s hard to do.

[@sayusayme7729]

Very new, grateful for beautiful souls who love to help others grow. 💚

[@lynn52710]

Stephanie your podcast and messages are amazing! Thanks so much!!🙏🏾💝🙏🏾

[@murielsmyth5047]

Thanks a mil Stephanie. You are absolutely fantastic. You described me so well. I need to work harder on myself and stop obsessing over my narcissistic ex Husband …… six years later….. and still get bad days. We were 36 years together and he is 100% a covert narcissist who emotionally abused me and left me for another women and literally left me in a heap on the floor then gaslighted me which I really thought I was the mad person, his lies just flowed out of his mouth, gave me the silent treatment for years and behaved as if I never even existed. Still not divorced as he stopped it and said I wasn’t going to do well out of it….. and I’m scared I could be in a worse situation than I am now. He took no responsibility for his actions and blamed me for everything. He is also a chronic workaholic and was never emotionally there for the children or I. Work was always first….. soooo sad but I don’t honestly believe he is a happy man. Thanks so much Stephanie.

[@lorrainerodriguez5576]

Your videos are incredibly helpful and relatable. I’ve watched your videos for the past hour from even 4 years ago. I really appreciate how clear and detailed you are. Thank you.

[@jamesegan8184]

I've seen a number of videos like this, Stephanie Lyn leads by a mile with her delivery, wisdom and connections.

[@naghammohamed5825]

You helped me a lot in my healing journey. Thanks for being here ❤️

[@jamesegan8184]

Both highly sensitive and empathic , Lyn's mind runs faster than most of us and she absorbs the world of human interactions like no one else. This is the deepest stuff on youtube to seek knowledge about human nature!

[@cherylc.7905]

Stephanie, I love listening to your videos. They are so informative and helpful. You’ve helped me so much in many areas of my life. I have found a good source for healing in you.

[@morganrobertson3721]

I've been on a healing journey for a long time now due to unresolved truama from many things in life including losing loved ones so young and past toxic relationships. I've struggled with ruminating for a long time and working on letting a lot of things go. I'm always open to learning new things including coping skills.

[@RaimaNd]

This is me. I can think about one single person for months every single night and day. Sport, work and gaming is what keeps me sane. Sadly a lot of people aren't that sensitive and empathic. I feel like womens always want that in a man but are overwhelmed by it when it's happening - and they have no empathy or emotional intelligence whatsoever.

[@thaddeusvlb]

Thank you.

[@tolduso828]

I’ve ruminated for as long as I can remember, there’s always a thought that I’m ruminating for a few weeks at a time, only to disappear and be replaced by another equally silly one that takes up most of my time

[@booksale5]

That was really fascinating regarding SPS (HSP) and creative/inquisitive nature. Your personal experience finally put the pieces together about “me.” I’m very grateful to be esteemed in my field for diagnosing the missed or incorrect diagnoses largely because of my inquisitive and broad views (the latter I thought was my adhd wandering mind) and struggled with getting to know someone as I’ve received feedback that I ask so many questions to being at an interview to interrogation but never were the intention other than to learn about the person, so now idk what’s “normal” I literally told my therapist that these thoughts defaulting to worst outcome is because it tends to be more often than not to end up being true & did recognize it may be my bias. And now I Ins why she keeps encouraging me to do things other than work. But that’s a whole complexity in itself.

[@amypeters2blessed]

Thank you for giving your community great information about anxiety and how mind works

[@christopherlamb3267]

Great video. This is very helpful and much appreciated.

[@jamesegan8184]

Stephanie Lyn gives hope and wisdom to so many, she shares so much love in these unique videos. Lyn doesn't plug herself and she also does Life Coaching , so if you want one-on-one sessions she can arrange that. She is a goddess exuding emotional intelligence.

[@Zen36977]

Your videos are amazing. Thank you❤

[@Jesterjones9073]

Cute little bag. Thanks for the tutorial.

[@bumblebee_ms]

I had limerence for many years. I felt like an idiot when I realised what was going on. Thank goodness for healing.

[@shiningstar8468]

Great video Stephanie! I tend to extremely overthink a lot of things and this was a great explanation of why Thank you❤️

[@ronaldsarfo22morefree]

God bless you

[@rrtvox]

This is the best video you’ve ever done. Thank you 🙏🏽

[@sherynngofa6175]

Rumination is mental torture. My goal is to avoid self-torture.

[@michelle_bradley_]

This was so important for me to hear today. Thank u. ❤

[@helder3951]

I feel validated and seen and understood thank you for that ❤

[@stephenhopkins6920]

Beautiful woman and so smart as well. I really appreciate you and have learned a lot from you..

[@ariengabriella]

Thank you 🙏

[@abgportal]

I always appreciate these videos. I'm on my healing journey and I always struggle with actually feeling these messages. I tell myself them but I don't feel them and that's the hard part.

[@bloopagaloota3961]

Thank you for this. It's actually what I'm going through right now and it's super hard.

[@rceliamendez]

Thanks for this very good advice it’s huge learning for the situation in what I am right now thanks again 👍

[@oliver1224]

Very interesting insight & extremely useful video, thank you. I've been doing this a lot myself of late. Trying to shift my focus onto something positive & creative helps.. Its like a chess game & trying to predict several moves ahead..

[@stevenkovler5133]

I met up with my estranged wife and saw my stepson. She did not want her son to know that we hooked up the night before. I slipped and told him the pastries I brought him were from the hotel. She said ( don’t mention the hotel). Then later after she left the room,he grilled me . I told him I stayed in another state the night before. He asked if I was with him mom. I said no. Latter on after I left , she called me all happy, saying why did you not call me when you got back to where you are staying. Then she was all flirty. Then I slipped and said I felt bad that I lied to the kid that we did not see each other. She got all upset and said , now he knows we hooked up, he knew we were meeting up. You could have told him we met for dinner in the city. Now he knows we were Fing. You will never change, I love you , but you are crazy. This is why we cant stay togeher . I told you to keep this on the down low. We had such a good time and everytime I fall back in love with you you mess it up.. she went on and on, I was defensive, trauma stuff … Now I keep ruminating over how I could have handeled it differently , especially not telling her about my talk with her son after. She did not need to know that. Now I am all anxious that I messed it all up again!

[@charliegreatrick9099]

Love your videos I want to follow my dreams and start my own business ❤

[@חניתהאזולאי-ט5נ]

Thank you for all the help doing the years I followed you...🥰

[@חניתהאזולאי-ט5נ]

Thanks

[@harobedsthoughts]

Thank you for sharing about this topic❤

[@despliak2001]

Much needed that video! Thank you so much

[@vividlifemedia]

Thankyou Stephanie ☺️

[@angelavaladez6450]

This is a very enlightening video.. thank you BIG TIME 😊

[@carmendevine7244]

Trying to solve a problem... Ruminating leads me into focusing on things from the past for answers to the here and now, but it stems from not trusting that my emotions are valid. I want to be more simple, and just say yes or no and then move on.

[@bloominglotus2025]

Thank you

[@AS-vt5rs]

Hey Stephanie! Hopefully you read this! Lol I am a huge fan and you have helped me so much so thank you. I have been hoping and waiting for you to cover the insecurities that I personally and others have developed from being in multiple abusive relationships. This video was so close to that topic and very helpful but I just have so much insecurities that I dont know where to begin to fix them. I over think so much about situations like my new man looking at other women because of my past trauma and its only getting worse. I have been made to feel not good enough.. not pretty enough or sexy enough. You talk about self love and care and everything thing and I understand that but how do I change my way of thinking? Idk how to fix this. I have become so uptight and uncomfortable when nudity comes on to movies or TV show and I become very insecure and think my boyfriend would rather look at that than me. I know this stems from my past but where do I start to fix this? Thank you for everything you do and say. You help more than you know!

[@shellymillerleer]

As usual-Great video! 🙌

[@dh2jr317]

Holy Crap going thru that today. those of us with add. Hi

[@calebkeegan3023]

Ty finally blocked ex gf narc yesterday for good she so sneaky and reach out to mutual friend and I unblocked for a week cuz I empath and was way more assertive and turned her on but I realized shes a narc 100 absolutely and ty for u help Steph been watching u and similar vids 18 months since betrayal 3 months lil more since seen progress...went to bed in tears woke up in tears cuz ex won't change. Ty I'm doing the right thing and it's super fn hard ty for knowledge like u said Getting over some one is not emotional it's logical but ouch ty

[@karenishness1]

Sometimes it's parasitic brain infection. Decisions based on parasitic control can look like overthinking. It would be great to see a video on this.

[@quickgirl80]

Interesting. Do you remember which parasite that is, or where you came across that info?

[@karenishness1]

@@quickgirl80 There are several that will do that. In many books on parasitology, and even some videos on KZbin.

[@carmennavarra945]

Wow I keep blaming myself after a break up of only 5 months I never even slept with her and I find myself hurting blaming myself

[@antoncvelbar6297]

I feel paranoid with all of that

[@GreyAlien11]

There are physics here that put some people before another, are they choosing the better half? I’m not sure I feel them all over this, each and everyone is important, no matter what you ‘were’ or ‘who’ you are, each and everyone is important, each and everyone makes a full world, I am a firm believer in change, child molesters, that isn’t one of them, the purest lights shine on the most fragile and yet most important gifts, to hurt or intrude on their way, is evil, a ghost will never hurt a child, an entity will, two very different dimensions x a light will guide you, but you have free choice, you choose your way x bless you all x

[@catherine9808]

Clinical psychologist here , rumination is not at all as you describe . It is a compulsion and is accompanied often by anxiety and or depression. It is not due to seeking an answer etc it’s a literal compulsion as a result of sometimes a distressing/ traumatic experience. It is not possible to “stop” rumination as you imply by the title . As soon as you seek to stop a compulsion it only grows more intense as you focus on it more and believe there is something wrong with you because you can’t stop it as you say. Complete acceptance is the way acceptance that this is where the mind is at right now and accepting the thoughts whilst knowing that not every thought is true . Accepting the rumination while still completing daily tasks etc . Seek advice from a mental health professional not coaches who are not properly educated to speak on these matters . Just because they have had a personal experience does NOT qualify them to then diagnose or offer the solution . Often this is dangerous as there is not much room for flexibility and understanding that not everyone will have the same path they do . Acceptance acceptance acceptance and professional help if needed ❤

[@stevenkovler5133]

Read my comment please and you will see that I am depressed. And anxious and hence I ruminate over issues with my wife.

[@gregoryking9348]

I think everybody in our situation could benefit from FaceTime with a mental health professional, but to keep it real, and in all fairness, you guys aren't all created equal. Horror stories abound of undereducated or just straight up quack mental health practictioners who exacerbate suffering. The benefit of following KZbinrs is we can SEE the other people that are going through almost identical experiences whereas you and other degreed mental health practitioners aren't allowed to share the experiences of your patients. It's extremely liberating to see with our own eyes we aren't alone. It's too easy to feel alone when recovering from narcissistic abuse or other mental health crises BECAUSE of the alone time ruminations. And then there's the financial considerations. It's no secret the economy in the US is circling the drain. In light of having to direct focus on trying to keep our heads above water, things like paying for a therapist can become considered a discretionary expense.

[@ianmcnally8501]

I find exercise, running dancing anything helps.

[@catherine9808]

@@ianmcnally8501 yes moving the body is always good because it helps us to get out of our heads

[@theonlydjtopcat]

Dr. Catherine would you agree rumination goes hand in hand with narcissistic trauma bonding? Especially if the disordered person abruptly discarded and gave no closure to an intimate partner? So in essence it is a form of PTSD. I found myself in this horrific cycle after being discarded by my untreated covert narcissist ex after a year. Still working through it. For me therapy has been knowledge. Learning about Cluster B disorders, and training my brain to understand that there was nothing I could have done to change what happened. God bless.

[@merylwalkley8087]

Rumination,is crap..it goes hand in hand with Adhd, and depression, low self esteem...

[@dh2jr317]

Keep telling it😅😊

[@RyanOnofrio]

I just had a breakup and am completely torn. I have some issues stemming from childhood with attachment anxiety. I cant stop overthinking, and ruminating about this past girl. Please help Stephanie lol

[@gtravisstone8138]

Rumination is what ruminants do; it is an essential aspect of their existence for different reasons (not metabolic only), and something we can learn from. Rumination for people is, in my mind, the equivalent to meditation, if it be directed in a right spirit and not allowed to become reverie and bitterness, or wicked imagination; but, conversely, remedial, constructive and directive. A beast's rumination is directed by its cud, and by morning and evening, whereas a man's rumination should be directed by his thoughts. Rumination is the time for preperation of mind and spirtit to deal in a wise manner with the things facing us. While some are sitting in uncomfortable positions, clenching their thumbs and fingers together, humming and repeating mantras; a man can accomplish the necessities of right thinking as opportunity presents throughout daily activities, "(casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.)" It has become continual prayer for me. It requires, "all thy heart, soul, strength and mind" to remain engaged, "for even one hour." I don't believe rumination is something to be viewed as discard, but rather to be converted into our full service to man's completeness. Rumination with an evil intent or evil spirit is just ... futlism, (haha, I made up a word and an 'ism'): The practice of that which is incapable of producing any useful result; pointless. Thanks for not railing on me for having and voicing my own opinions. I do not want to appear as a troll; not my intentions at all. My first attempt at this post got butchered somehow. I managed to delete parts on the way out. Hope this is clearer.

[@angelavaladez6450]

Ah hah moment!! Thanks again

[@grahamlangley4856]

Trying to make decisions 😫🙈🤣

[@abgportal]

What are your thoughts or experiences with using psychedelics to help heal past trauma and fear?

[@lemonboy7759]

holy shit

[@antoncvelbar6297]

How much do you charge😂

[@merylwalkley8087]

A lot of highly sensitive, emphathics have Adhd..

[@robertjerge9627]

catastrophizing.

[@carolpease4326]

It could "JUST" be emotional trauma... talk about minimizing So sad to hear you say this.

[@paulbaker4109]

She doesn't say nothing in the entire video, too much words to say nothing

[@trophiasimon2098]

The way you are guiding me through and leading me to living my soft life 🥹. I appreciate you!! 🫶🏾

[@julieb6624]

Watch Lisa Romano. She is better than Stephanie. Lisa changed my life. Lisa diggs deep as to WHY you feel a certain way. You have to watch her if you want to understand exactly how this works.