The TRUTH about ROMANCE: Romance is for MEN, or: why romance is a poor man's game

[@simonsays5193]

Just when you thought that the redpill rabbit hole couldn't go any deeper, then one day BAM! You learn that romance is actually a poor man's game invented by men FOR men but has only recently in modern times been sold as something for women!!? Holy hell. I absolutely love this channel keep pumping out gems man.

[@imheretochewbubblegum]

Women love it when men compet for them.

[@busybecomingmyself]

@@imheretochewbubblegum yes but they definitely don't love every man who competes for them

[@imheretochewbubblegum]

@@busybecomingmyself So true.

[@castiel4746]

a Hard to swallow black pill

[@keylanoslokj1806]

Yeah that's true red pill. Not the pua scammers

[@jcnlaw]

Experienced divorce attorney here. Whoever invented romance and marriage, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

[@damilola_adegunwa]

I guess without marraige, there no divorce! some of us wish there is no need for people like you.

[@AG26498]

Bottom feeder spotted

[@JP67]

Don't worry pal.You'll meet Him face to face soon enough

[@supergobgoblin424]

XD getting rich from people tragedies...as expected from a lawyer...

[@jcnlaw]

@@AG26498 I was joking.

[@chevy2583]

That's why many good coaches tell men to build themselves and be strong, women will just naturally come into your life.

[@chevy2583]

@@marsultortheavenger409 That is the reality my friend! Every man will discover it sooner or later in his life.

[@steph6109]

@@marsultortheavenger409 women see most men as children and will seek you out if they deem you a man. From the man's point of view she's bring parasitic from the woman's she's avoiding emotional/mental pedophillia.

[@rissrose3470]

@@marsultortheavenger409 just date men then, problem solved :)

[@rissrose3470]

@@marsultortheavenger409 you guys don’t have to pretend to like women it’s 2023 you can be honest with yourselves and date men

[@EE12CSVT]

Yes , it's for your utility, not for your character or love

[@valecrassus7835]

This was something I could never wrap my head around as a young man, especially in my teens/early twenties. I kept thinking any day now, I'd be around women who are tired of getting treated poorly the rich players and would finally realize that a genuinely earnest good guy with a big heart, despite having less money or power, would make their lives so much better. That day never came.

[@lolife1981]

You should have sold crack.

[@appleturnover519]

It depends on whether you were to much of a "good guy". Or on the type of women you were hanging out with.

[@valecrassus7835]

That is true. To be honest, I was a good-hearted individual with very little to offer a potential mate beyond a pleasant demeanor and a modicum of intelligence. I thought those things were what *really* counted, and they absolutely did not...at least not as far as attracting a female in the dating world. As far as the type of women I was around? I was batting out of my league in every sense of the word. Mainly, though, they were more of the "uptown" type and I was not quite at that level. To continue the metaphor, I could get in the door, but I'd be eternally waiting at the bar. The only solutions for me at that time would have been either to improve my status, which would take a decade at least, or start hanging around girls from my end of town, which I had no social connection to whatsoever.

[@jessesleight9631]

I just shed tears reading your comment.

[@valecrassus7835]

@@jessesleight9631 It's still good to be those things - pleasant, relatively intelligent, kind, etc. Those qualities don't necessarily *hurt* when it comes to attracting women. They just don't usually help as much as they would in a perfect world.

[@danielhamilton5094]

Women love Opportunistically, Men love Idealistically. Romantic relationships are negotiated. Unconditional love only exists between parents and children, etc

[@joanndevine4780]

I'm a woman and I love idealistically, not opportunistically. When I see stuff about hyoergamy. I accept it must exist but I don't have that trait

[@Alex.Kalashnik]

@@joanndevine4780 Hmm. That makes me wonder why so many have the opposite experience with women. Or is it that the men who tend to use women also end up matching with women who tend to use men?

[@keylanoslokj1806]

Facts

[@keylanoslokj1806]

@@joanndevine4780 unicorn. Or it's just that you guys don't have accountability and self awareness wired in you?🤣

[@keylanoslokj1806]

@@Alex.Kalashnik most women love opportunistically. Babies don't raise themselves. Being ruthless survival machines was meant to be wired in them

[@tinman8972]

All the trappings of romance- the jewelry, the flowers, don't so much touch the hearts of women as they re-assure them they have control of the silly man who is idealizing them.

[@Michael_RareZebra]

👏👏👏....and the moment the dude scales back you'll get the "remember when you used to do this and get me this, etc..."

[@AfriqueNY]

That's different in my opinion than romance. That's validation of status.

[@yeboscrebo4451]

EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You hit the nail on the head. Power and manipulation is what they’re all about.

[@eddyecho]

bro here own a whole cvs pharmacy with his red pill spittin game

[@Lori_g70]

Idolising 😂

[@demokrative]

Everything on this channel I have watched so far I have experienced in my 55 year old life. I have waited for someone to articulate my (and many others) experience so well as Orion Taraban is doing. Best channel of the year!

[@Bobafe77a]

I'm 52, and I agree. Orion illuminates it all for me.

[@AfriqueNY]

I'm also a Gen x dude and i agree. This guy nails it

[@MichaelMariel-ts2rs]

I like comments like yours...cos as long as your life experience can validate his theory then it should be taken seriously. I already knew what he says is true, he just validates me from a academic perspective

[@sircaptain7870]

I’m 46, in the “top 5%” financially & can say that this guys channel is beyond amazing. He’s breaking this stuff down on a level that is worth more than money.

[@ColdSteel-oi3um]

Most men don't understand the difference between spinless, subservient romance vs dominant, masculine romance. Masculine romance is leading the woman in interactive, fun or adventurous activities. Spineless, subservient romance is the kneeling to propose, offering the woman gifts and offering the woman money.

[@MeneerHerculePoirot]

"Women are pragmatic. Women aren't romantic. They just want us to be." - My Dad

[@star_blazer]

Your dad is a wise man, Mr. Jones.

[@niceprincesslucky]

True!

[@ericlarousse1149]

False. Romance is a recent invention. Female body shape is not.

[@Ana-rb7ws]

I think this is because women generally feel more unsafe in the world, so they’re always looking out for safety and shelter. So they’re more pragmatic, trying to keep themselves and their children safe. Whereas, men, who generally have more ‘power’ (don’t bite my head off now for using generalizations for brevity’s sake) have no need or less need to feel safe in the world, so they have more time and ability for recreational activities like (lo and behold) romance.

[@Ho3bust3r]

Your dad is right.

[@thecaptain4420]

Wow, it's great to see the red pill from a professional psychological perspective. In laymen terms, romance was the original "game" created by medieval pick up artists.

[@Promet17]

"medieval pick up artists" hahahaha good one, funny yet on point

[@raphaelmohr1965]

I am a psychologist. This has nothing to do with psychology, he is seriously oversimplifying and equivocating. And repackaging known information as if he had come up with it while pulling a lot of the rest out of his rear. He makes other psychologists look bad.

[@blastermaster7261]

​​@@raphaelmohr1965 you are a professional then. Can you refute what he is saying with evidence? Please avoid word salad, much appreciated.

[@bakters]

" *the original "game" created by medieval pick up artists* " You mean the dudes who could show up at any place and have the first pick through all the ladies around? Why would they need a "game" at all? If romance was a game of sorts, it could only serve as a tool of getting a higher status marriage possibility. That would be useful, as good marriage could set you up for life. So we could argue, that romance was a gigolo game for eligible ladies, but nobody in his right mind will ever claim that gigolos were for men, would he? As a tool of getting p^*%y? They neither did nor needed to woo the lower status wenches.

[@Eye_of_Horus]

@@raphaelmohr1965 yeah let’s hear your debunk please.

[@theresa78201]

The essence of romance is the man convincing the woman he will not abandon her to raise their children by herself.

[@je9625]

"Men are romantics masquerading as pragmatists, women are pragmatists masquerading as romantics." This is an old quote and I've known this a long time.

[@mavrk.d]

Wow! I’m saving that.

[@jeshitorenburei224]

@Gangari TheWanderer Perfect summary.

[@jjm2948]

Men are idealistic and women are opportunistic

[@soviethammer645]

That's a good one.

[@Poussyeater-w5e]

@gangarithewanderer8570well shieett homie, that's well thought out. I never once considered that aspect of God's relationship with humans. Then again, he did order Hosea to marry a 304 to represent this relationship. But yeah, love really ain't worth a damn in this world huh?

[@cawlsy]

I wish I knew this when I was younger. Definitely sharing this video with my daughter to help her understand the fundamentals of relationships so that she will choose carefully.

[@Deleteduser101]

U r good mother ❤

[@poetsrear]

To be honest this will not guide anyone, especially a girl. But if she's open minded it's a good hear.

[@vidard9863]

that is probably the cause of my longest streak of failures with women. i recognized that most of romance was playing mind games designed to make a single woman's heart vulnerable, and attempted to have more mature relationships with the end goal of marriage. sadly i am not the king, and the women had been promised the mind altering drug of romance.... it was my fault for believing what my teachers, and even well meaning family told me, and treating women with the same respect i would have appreciated. (his take on respect is phenomenal) men and women are not the same, which is observably true, and if you don't take the time to realize that society is lying to you about women, you will have no real success with them, which will not in any way help women.

[@forddreamsdofly546]

Well said

[@AfriqueNY]

VERY WELL SAID. Salute to you m

[@proximityclockworkx1572]

Thing is... You don't need them unless you want to see your life in flames.

[@FilthyCasual-np7yk]

Sheesh, who cares what helps women. Caring about that is what got us men cornered in this twisted culture. Don't feel bad for women when their privilege backfires on them.

[@proximityclockworkx1572]

@@FilthyCasual-np7yk They got this. They are strong and independent 😂😂

[@inso5078]

That's exactly what I noticed a long time ago. Women want and like being treated like a lady, being given flowers etc., but only if she's already attracted to you and sees you as her best option.

[@proximityclockworkx1572]

Without offering nothing in return.

[@ddicin7759]

@@proximityclockworkx1572 She's renting her womb and genetics to the man. That's a lot in my book.

[@proximityclockworkx1572]

@@ddicin7759 Maybe true for the womb part, from which she can abort YOUR child whenever she sees fit without your consent. And you cannot opt out of child support. See the double standards here? Also what genetics? Females choose males that they think have superior genetics compared to theirs. So basicly, outside of sex and reproduction (none of those interest me), they have nothing to offer while the man HAS to be in the top 10% otherwise you'll be invisible or creepy to them, and then you HAVE TO provide virtually everything and anything she ever wants. And all that for nothing if she decides to divorce you, take your income, your children, house, cars, everything you've ever owned or will own, because she was bored or whatever. And most of the times, they are the ones that initiating the divorce. Seems to me like a rigged game. Sure, you can say don't marry. To which I say, in some countries, even cohabitation counts as a pseudo marriage thing, which is enough for her in court to demand things from you. The best course of action is to avoid women at all costs, only talk to them if you must.

[@patricktluszcz]

„Only if she is already attracted to you” - isn’t that just … normal ?

[@inso5078]

@@patricktluszcz What I mean by that is giving her flowers won't make her like you. If she's attracted to you already, you don't have to do anything to keep her around.

[@keithkollenbaum]

It’s very simple. A man wants the woman. The woman wants the lifestyle.

[@PinkyPanther11]

I don’t think this is true whatsoever

[@boethius1812]

True

[@ThomasOrtizMusic]

@@PinkyPanther11 while I'm not necessarily championing the comment as it is very general, to say it's not true whatsoever is pretty ignorant imo. You can hear some women actually echo the original comment almost verbatim. Some women are saying that they would rather have instagram than a boyfriend to boot!

[@lsjt8924]

@@ThomasOrtizMusic and some men s openly admit they don’t give a shit about women they just want sex…

[@steph6109]

@@ThomasOrtizMusic yes because men are hard work. The average man makes a woman's life actively harder. They're saying they want something they see and receive some sort of value from. At the same time there are millions of women marrying or having out of wedlock children to men who beat them, generally abuse them etc. Women see personality and companionship as value. It doesn't have to be money or things. It just shows how bad men today are...

[@4wheelwarrior]

Mind: Blown. This one earned you my subscription Sir, well done. So romance is just the oldest form of "running game" ... makes SO much sense.

[@dominiclapinta8537]

Women want power and an easy life overall. Which is why, many women get into relationships that end up with them being abused or not being truly loved. As long as the power and easy to achieve resources is there, they will endure through, no matter what type of person the guy is.

[@AG26498]

Also women love being abused. I don't why or how but there are entire fanbases of women idolizing literal psychos

[@dominiclapinta8537]

@@AG26498 sadly, I have encountered this alot. Thy want power period. Many don't care how it is delved to them, just as long as it is there. They have the same mentality for almost anything. Just as long as the thing is somehow in their life, they don't care how it disadvantages them.

[@steinkalv]

I think it's because they are still living with the ancient idea that society is terribly dangerous to a woman and that she needs a powerful man to protect her. Well, ya don't. Society is not hostile towards women, but rather the opposite, at least in developed countries. I think this way of thinking will change over time, and I think we as men place too much value on sexual relationships. Sure, have sex, but why do you even need a partner if she is one of the above: operating only on her primal instinct for security? But we also need to ask ourselves, as men, why do we want women, if not for sex? Are we not just as bad? Personally, I like to say I enjoy being around feminine energy, as I have plenty of masculine energy myself, but is this really true? Would I date a girl without a vagina? Who the fuck knows, something to ponder.

[@jasmines.6325]

Women need security to support offspring, this is instinctual

[@dominiclapinta8537]

@@jasmines.6325 but it often times gets perverted or taken advantage of, and there is often times no resistence not willing as to learn from mistakes. At leats with us men, you hurt us bad enough and we will often avoid it later on. This is why we get criticized about not being more like women and having more connections with others. But it's not that we don't wish to, but rather, that we know instinctually, if we just casually and carelessly let anybody I to our inner circle, then it could damage us. So, we avoid the conflict

[@mocaman123]

Thanks!

[@spider-spectre]

We are in the end stages of behavioral sink, either people become self aware or its the catalyst to a new conflict, conflicts over "modern" life is already started, those who worship the lifestyle and those who are vehemently against it.

[@allanfifield8256]

Thanks!

[@colleenbarcheski3301]

This is a course we should be required to take entering into the dating landscape. It would've helped so many people understand the challenges we've lived with.

[@gasphynx]

On another level, people tell themselves stories to bring meaning to their lives, I think romance feeds into that need.

[@BWater-yq3jx]

Yes, the epic universally ordained romance. This 'meaning' is a 2-edged sword. It can inspire you to greatness, or lead you to put up with all sorts of bs as you descend into misery. Guess which is more common.

[@HenriqueSteffens-ob6sj]

Provider x defender dichotomy

[@_gold_eye_2656]

“Romance is the spice of the relationship but pragmatism is the substance of it. Love is the motive and reason is the fruit.” - me

[@thusharividanagamachchi9779]

Love how you creatively put this 😍

[@backcountyrpilot]

…and marriage is the vegetable

[@_gold_eye_2656]

@@backcountyrpilot actually yes. It’s healthy and most people are so childish they refuse it.

[@_gold_eye_2656]

@@discerningmood2674 because it is so very undeniably quotable that I felt like it.

[@_gold_eye_2656]

@@discerningmood2674 well that’s unfortunate for you

[@hachiroku8677]

Bottomline: romance doesn't pay the bills.

[@izzy9303]

😂

[@csmith9699]

@hachiroku8677 romance certainly has enormous potential for great sex life even over decades...for men and women. If you prefer to just screw then enjoy. Never get to a blissful state that way whether men or women

[@asura8236]

Yeah but it can steal your wife. Lol

[@csmith9699]

@@asura8236 Absolutely. Romance and sensuality--sorry, but very few guys have this. I think it might be innate. My romance I do NOT mean roses and chocolates. How unromantic with no creativity

[@searain1573]

Platonic love is one of the strongest types of love, while romantic love is one of the weakest types of love. When a guy and a girl are best friends, they won't date or be in a romantic relationship with each other since they know it wouldn't work since they are too close. That proves that romantic love is inferior to platonic love. The best feeling for many girls is being able to have platonic guy friends that are like brothers to them. Most girls prefer having platonic guy friends over a boyfriend/husband. Many girls would choose their platonic male best friend over their boyfriend/husband and give more importance to them. Most girls seem to be more comfortable being around their platonic male best friends than they are being around their boyfriends/husbands. People are closer to their platonic best friends than they are to their romantic partner. People usually love their platonic best friend more than their romantic partner. Platonic love is actually real, while romantic love is fake. Romantic relationships are actually a downgrade compared to platonic relationships.

[@Focused76]

Oh God! 21 years and I'm getting these reality checks now .. I'm glad

[@lloydus_maximus]

Be thankful your 21 and not 32 😅

[@alanpontes2855]

@@lloydus_maximus or 52

[@crazyinq8617]

It sucks that some of the best advice for finding a wife comes from the dreggs of society. For example, a Pimp once stated,"Marry the girl you likes you, not the girl you like." I can't argue how cogent that statement is.

[@Plans4YouJer2911]

Women always do the final choosing Whether it's closing time at the bar Or Walking down the aisle at a $ 10 , 000 wedding 😂😂😂

[@Runnerman07]

The dregs of society often contain wisdom without the trappings.

[@connorduke4619]

Don't prejudge good advice, be open to it everywhere.

[@anwanaamba6345]

Thanks

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

Wtf?

[@idlehourlinda6476]

This has caused me to consider romance in a different way, beginning from a historical perspective and continuing to our modern day courtship rituals.

[@csmith9699]

@idlehourlinda6476...Romance can be wonderfully sexy and sensual if you are wise and know your partner. Chemistry important. If you don't have chemistry and some sparks early on...well, not a good thing for later...for LTR or marriage. Be wise. Being sexually mechanistic is the pits

[@ernestdrozdz1889]

This is a XXL size red pill :D I'm fairly redpilled myself but this reaches even deeper level. While listening I felt a mild dissonance and I immediately knew what you're saying is true.

[@toddpacker1015]

Search your feelings you know it to be true

[@mrmiyagi5]

I am black pilled

[@chrisfabre23]

While he was progressing with his explanation I was simultaneously reflecting on my own behaviors when I was younger the phrase that I couldn't escape saying to myself was "I knew something was wrong." And it's hard not to feel almost a kind of shame about it. 😔

[@SuperMagnum83]

Women like romance because it's confirmation that the man is invested, this means he will stick around and she will have access to his resources and security.

[@Deleteduser101]

​@@SuperMagnum83u mean "women have been conditioned to loke romance "

[@leet8017]

There's an old saying: "If you don't come out of your pocket, come out of your mouth", eg be able to smooth talk and finess instead of paying for everything.

[@nonyabizness2550]

Its not about paying for everything. If you are wealthy and she is not and you marry her, you are paying for everything. Women will play the long game. If they want out later they can just cheat on you. If you tolerate they will stay married and keep using you. If you dont tolerate they will dovorce and take half

[@keylanoslokj1806]

Money and game are the way men seduce women since the dawn of time

[@jaythenihilist4689]

I would agree with this. It's not about love with women. It never has been. Once I realized this, then that's when I lost interest in pursuing any kind of serious relationships. I still date casually, but I don't see myself ever getting married or even having another serious long-term relationship again. Unlike some men, I'm not angry with women for being how they are. That's just how women evolved. I've accepted that. Men think logically but choose their partners very emotionally. Women think emotionally but choose their partners very logically. A woman can be in love with you one day, and the next day, you don't even exist to her. All it takes is another man with more to offer, showing interest in her.

[@Vic_RE_Investor]

💯

[@Tom-vq2hw]

Username shows commitment to the comment

[@joozygummibunz487]

Wow! I'm a woman, and i think you've almost got it!! I've always said this to the men and women in my life. In my undestanding, the natural order is for a man to sacrificially love first and then for the woman to submit to that love with obedience and honour towards the man that has laid down his life for her. It's hard to articulate in text but hope you get the gist of what I'm trying to say...

[@Deleteduser101]

​@@joozygummibunz487does that mean that the man will then leave after the woman submits to pursue another woman

[@Anonym-yr4qn]

​@@joozygummibunz487 So you're saying men should remain virgins, because this behavior gets you nothing??

[@jesuschristislord77733]

Before experience with women: hopelessly romantic After experience with women: emotionally unavailable

[@zjomamma1904]

one extreme to the next. Find the center

[@Twisted4k]

God damn, man, hit the nail on the head once again. It's so odd that most tropes and expected behaviors in modern society originated from cover-ups and patches to compensate for weaknesses/failures during more primitive times. I truly believe that's one of the reasons why there's so many mental health issues these days, ha! Great video once again, very eye-opening.

[@ab4everunited]

This is so obvious and yet so eye opening!! Another great take Doc!

[@superboy3633]

Thanks Dr. Orion. This video really deserve millions of views from men. Especially those who don't understand women. As the quote said:You can only understand the women or love them.

[@Harmonious-jm3sy]

Listening to this gave me that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. All the time, effort, energy, money, time exerted on that my ex who was screwing a coworker who was so shady he tossed his wife and kids away for her.

[@Leleeve]

Yup that's what most of them do, its a needle in a hay stack. So make sure he is wealthy so you don't end up heart in pain and also your pockets. Don't hate the player hate the game

[@Anonym-yr4qn]

​@@Leleeve Ironically, it's women who do that more often. There's comment sections full of stories where men share how their wives or girlfriends did that to them. It's even more ironic how the other side of this is using a similar metaphor. Though men usually call it "finding the hay in the needle stack". ...Another fallacy that women often fall into is: Labeling ALL men to be like those they made bad experiences with. That's because women only, or at least primarily date guys who are "top 10 percenters", so naturally... Yes, they won't commit to you, because they got like 10 or even more other women, who are just like you, throwing themselves at him. It's literally women being treated like men. Getting a taste of their own medicine: "Whatever is beneficial to me." Aside from that... It doesn't even psychologically make sense for women to be pissed about that, because they are only emotionally attached to the man's assets anyways. ...And as long as men don't ditch them and thus take the access to their assets away from them, they have literally no reason to be upset about it, logically spoken. Or are you telling me you're actually and genuinely attached to what kind of a person yo man is??

[@amino1music]

The fact that this isn’t obvious is a testament to how effective it is. Security is worth a lot but it’s also a little boring. People trade wealth for exciting experiences all the time. The promise of excitement has allure.

[@vicplichota]

Kudos for your courage. "Let the controversy rage" I almost never totally agree with your POV, yet always find stimulation and food for thought. Keep up your good work, sir; you are not wasting your time, nor mine; I appreciate your hard work.

[@goofywill90]

Romance for women is probably not just the idea itself but the idea of romance with a particular/ideal person. The other people outside of that ideal simply do not exist. Combine that with loose generalizations and virtual signaling and you have a recipe for potential misunderstandings and overinvestment if your unlucky enough to experience it. Romance for men is wish fulfillment or a breath of fresh air/comforting backdrop in a harsh reality.

[@keylanoslokj1806]

Romance for women is fantasizing men loving them as they would love themselves if they were men, with zero care about realistic implications and hardships that this would entail. (Especially for the men).

[@albertramos7937]

"Unconditional love is for children and pets."

[@lastofthemohicans4665]

Hands down the most interesting and informative video I have seen in a long time. Thank you.

[@KatharinaKaschka]

There’s a whole billion dollar industry around this romance stuff that fuels the notion and keeps the phantasies going. Kitsch romance novels and films/shows are catered to women and influence their expactations of life, men and relationships. As reality rarely resembles a picture-perfect "artefact" of romantic fiction, many women get disillusioned and dissatisfied with life, circumstances and men. I think romance novels and films are the female equivalent to porn, with different but still similiar dangerous repercussions. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a feel-good cozy romance novel or film once in a while for entertainment and relaxation, but its impact is subtle and heineous, if women are not conscious and mindful. Many of those female consumers "know“ that life is no Hollywood movie, and would tell you that if you asked them, but I think it still manipulates them on a deep subconscious level that they are unaware of. Also it can lead to addictions, as can porn for men.

[@Ot-ej5gi]

JP has said that the porn for women is actually the cheap romantic novels they read BUT the characters are invariably ACCOMPLISHED men, not poor men who act chivalrous. So, whatever they read and think of porn is actually not BS. Check out those novels...

[@jaythenihilist4689]

@O t You can always tell when a romance was written by a man because the male protagonist is usually poor. Titanic and The Notebook, for example. The couple loves each other for the sake of love. When women write a romance, the man is usually wealthy and of high social status. And often, two different men are in competition for the woman. The truth is that men are the true romantics.

[@Ot-ej5gi]

@@jaythenihilist4689 agreed, no one should make up these fantasies; that's like porn

[@whereeaglesdare9584]

Billion? Probably closer to 10 Trillion

[@irinaivanovic9792]

@@jaythenihilist4689 Not true. A hardcore romantic woman here, btw. We are the ones who crave romance. Why do you think those novels sell so many copies? It's NOT because the man is "high status" and makes all this money. It's because of the words he uses, the actions he does for the woman. The chivalry. That to us IS love and romance. You men will never get it right if you keep listening to men from the RedPill rabbit hole.....

[@adamselene5957]

A very WELL NEEDED video. PLEASE show this to all of your sons.

[@psychacks]

Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. This episode discusses one of my most mind-blowing realizations about romance. Most folks -- men and women -- believe that the modern expressions of romance -- flowers and poetry and bent-knee proposals -- are for women. However, this is not actually the case. The truth of the matter is that romance is for men, specifically lower-status men who historically have found it difficult to compete with higher-status men for the most desirable women. As I will discuss, evidence for this perspective is all around us. We need only look clearly. "Two princes": kzbin.info/www/bejne/raTHqpKomNlpq9E Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com

[@psychacks]

​@Aligned We might have to agree to disagree. We can't know for sure, but I doubt most of the women involved with King Solomon saw him as "toxic," and there's no indication that these women were merely "trophies." That might be an ideological lens through which you are viewing historical data. Interestingly, while we do live in an age when a "Queen" Solomon might be possible, we don't see a comparable situation with the genders reversed, suggesting that some legitimate differences might be at play. Research indicates that modern women see stability, safety, and the provision of materialistic resources as attractive and desirable traits in a man (see: "Women want it all"). I also talk about modern women's ability to "captain her own ship" in "Women have more options in the sexual marketplace" (though this can lead to a tricky situation further down the road; see "The two body problem").

[@wavstudionet]

@psychacks Heard Two Princes (1992) ad nauseum freshman year. It's an earworm I don't hate. Just Heard it again. Still don't hate it. Liked your tie -in.

[@YieldOfDreamz]

@@aligned799 It is no longer the norm by design. In ancient Rome (where western monogamy comes from), Polygamy was the norm. Those in power started noticing a lack in production from the common man and feared an uprising due to their inability to attract a mate. Thus, they made monogamy law. Being realistic, mans drive to work hard, innovate, and create is driven almost single handedly in the name of securing and providing for women and children. Take that away, a man will be fine working a steady job, live in a studio apartment with a couch and TV and have just enough to get by with a little play money. Given a choice, outside of social construct, most women would gladly be wife #9 to a rich, handsome, powerful man than be the world to an average Joe.

[@AvnerMainshy]

I think that the correct perception of the romance that women love is not one-sided courtship and seeking for her. Rather, it is the context of a relationship in which two people have chemistry between them, and acceptance and liking for each other, based on each other's personality traits, uniqueness of one's charisma, emotional attraction, understanding of each other's psychology, and shared background physical positive combination and affection for each other, without the involvement of material calculations, status, benefits and stuff like that

[@louiscelenza8017]

You somehow put into words something I have always felt, but could never figure out. The flowers that die after a few days in a vase. The giant box of fattening choocolates. And women really don't want that stuff, except for maybe bragging to their girlfriends. They act like they do, to the giver. If they don't get them, it's a reason to be resentful. It's been quit puzzling over the years. Know the history of these traditional courting gifts shined a light.

[@brucecates3772]

Wrong if a women doesnt get the gifts usually women is intrigued by the mystery and goes after this intirguing alpha or sigma male. It is all about the attraction and mystery giving gifts is reserved for smps and incels.

[@ThomasFoolery8]

Loved that you used the word “bogarting” haha. Haven’t heard that in a while.

[@iampicasso1811]

😂

[@kckelly7889]

Yeah I caught that too. Made me chuckle.

[@allanrashid2287]

This guy is an absolute genius........he resonates with me to the absolute core

[@FreeD00M]

It is also a way to prove and build connection (so that he stays and protects). A safe bet with a man that has enough can be better than an unsafe bet with a man that has more than enough.

[@bluephoenix8470]

The analysis and conclusion could not have been delivered any better. Brilliantly done.

[@jc9303]

This makes total sense to me. Prior to being with my husband, I didn't find romance as an attractive factor due to the fact that witnessing my mom be attractive to men who romanced her but actually treated her like 💩💩💩 and having gone through some relationships with 💩💩💩 me myself (don't get me wrong, they had some good romance game, but that's pretty much it). I thought there was something wrong with me for a while as I hated being romanced with poems, flowers, chocolate and all that crap. I couldn't figure out why. When my husband and I first made the decision to date and commit, he already showed signs of providing for me in practical and actual ways, which was a turn on for me. He does have his cheesy romantic moments (in which I find so cringey at times), but he is consistent with ensuring that me and our son are protected and provided.

[@psychacks]

Thanks for sharing, JC.

[@dalegrant9282]

'Providing for me' jesus christ its 2023 provide for yourself woman!

[@PolishBehemoth]

I notice how you disnt mention what you provide for him. Im all for story sharing in relation tot he video. But can you calrify if you are something besides a gold digger? Im henuinely curious.

[@aidanforbes]

I think her pov is solely supporting what this video is about she'll be most likely offering the equivalent that men like from a woman. Personally, it makes sense wooing a woman is nothing compared to showing her evidence of you being a capable leader in a partnership, and a big part of that is shown through the ability to obtain resources. Only a low value woman would accept a material gift (chocolates and accessories) as a fair trade for sex. A higher value woman would require you to prove you can look after her and care for her needs in a way that provides her needs and a presence that demands respect (a kind monster).

[@041882]

@@aidanforbes your perspective makes sense to me! What did you mean by "kind monster" though?

[@frankmassello9073]

Loved this episode. This guy is fantastic. Can't get enough. Some of his phrasing is quotable

[@johnsnow6098]

What a soul crushing interpretation of the human experience.

[@keylanoslokj1806]

It's more gloomy, mechanical and animalistic than most of us would want to believe

[@junglistgrrl]

@@keylanoslokj1806 yup

[@starkid9736]

@@keylanoslokj1806 ever seen what meat is made off

[@jaythenihilist4689]

I've been studying human nature relentlessly for years. On one hand, I feel like I have a superpower. I understand what people are thinking or how they will behave. I understand what I need to do or how I need to behave to win a womans attraction. On the other hand, it's so incredibly depressing that I'm no longer interested in having a real relationship with a woman. Men are messed up too, just in different ways. I've come to look at humans as essentially preprogrammed organic robots. There's days when I wish that I could just forget everything I've learned, be ignorant, and actually enjoy myself with a woman. Because I don't look at women the same way I used to, I don't look at people in general the same way I used to. But then again, ignorance isn't going to change the facts about human nature. It just really sucks that things are the way they are.

[@PolishBehemoth]

@@jaythenihilist4689 theres more to it for humans that follow the spirit of God.

[@clauaome25]

Well done, Dr. These men need to open their eyes.

[@Kenny-Ross]

Now I'm binge watching you. Learned something new! But always had a gut feeling that something was unnatural about trying to woo a woman through flowers and gifts. But have said men are the true romantics. Meaning, we will go above and beyond to show how we feel about a woman. We will put forth more effort in trying to establish a relationship. But here it is that romance was created by men for men. Just like the origins of Christmas are pagan and many other holidays people may celebrate. If you do the research you'll get the truth. But you learn something new everyday. I'm going to do more research into this topic. But thank you for sharing this.

[@a.thales7641]

He talks about things I've always thought about

[@Tgogators]

The absolute truth to women is that they want a partner (beyond the scope of friends with benefits, flings, etc) who they feel can protect them (it's a feminine trait). The other things are bonuses, and when considering several men at the same time, she'll likely pick the one that has the bonus along with the essentials. Women tend to think partner selection like a job selection process, hence the whole "women want it all." The thing that's not being talked about here, is how in this day & age, people are dating and/or settling down with partners who are near status to one another. But I have yet to met a women who wants to be the sole finical provider or a relationship

[@FilthyCasual-np7yk]

Saying that romanticism is by men for men is like saying breast implants are by women for women.

[@IamKrystalHardwick]

I love that Two Princes song! I’m so surprised you’re referencing it in this video!

[@davidw.5185]

I found your channel earlier this week. Quality content and metaphors highlighting current trends and educating younger men as to the challenges ahead.

[@irinaivanovic9792]

lmao.

[@MoBa-cy7pr]

The more I listen to you the more it makes sense, at first my brain was resisting about your ideas but now I passed that stage, thank you sir

[@Carlos_ChT]

Solomon wrote Song of Solomon too. He wasn't just someone absolutly rich and powerful. He was wise and poetic too.

[@w1cked001]

Oh my god. These short videos are so eye opening.

[@RBRajatBrar]

Most of the audience of romantic films are females. Romance might be invention of men but surely not low standard. What do you feel when you look at sunset, or tiger, or great architecture, that experience is poetic in itself. Same goes with when you look at a women, the eye contact, connection, you can't fake the magic you feel. What women find interesting about romance is the playfulness comes with it that makes them feel alive.

[@nowhereman7413]

In those films the romantic there are two or more men fighting for a mediocre woman. All those men fighting for the mediocre woman are attractive and rich or very attractive and not so rich as the other. The romantic stuff is secondary, it would not make sense for any woman if those men were not very attractive and rich.

[@keylanoslokj1806]

It's a drug men invented but more appeals to the emotional nature or women

[@toddpacker1015]

@@nowhereman7413 Exactly. In real life those super hot rich men have all the women chasing them... but in the fantasy movies those men only have eyes for a mediocre woman.

[@a.thales7641]

@@nowhereman7413 true!

[@errrzarrr]

Looking at the beauty of a building or garden is not romanticism, it's a different thing.

[@theresadoll5374]

You are the first KZbinr I’ve come across who gets, values, and promotes, what I’ve noticed slash suspected for 50 years. How lovely to view and therefore support your voice. Because the gals don’t want to hear this from another gal so ... “on to the next!” in the words of the incomparable William Goldman ...

[@jasmines.6325]

Theres romance but theres also deep spiritual connections and i believe people who grow old together have that.

[@RacksonRacksonRibss]

Good point that doesn’t seem to often be touched on in these vids on in the comments

[@superboy3633]

Not spiritual connection but that's a bonding between two peoples who are together for years. Just like me and my Parents and friends.

[@ruibrai]

This is smith I was suspecting for quite a long time but you put it into words so precisely… Bravo!

[@olacole5315]

This is great knowledge for us young men. Thank you

[@owenwaldo]

duuude that song is a crazy throwback from a guitar toy i had when i was a child! thanks for bringing it back into my life!

[@peakoilnews868]

Love this content - but as a historian I am not sure I agree that 'Romance was created in Southern France in the 15th Century. Romantic impulses can be found throughout time and throughout cultures. Amd my guess is that it serves both sexes. Romance for a man is a focusing agent- much like religion- that allows him to engage in high risk high reward behavior (such as openly working against the Kings interest!). For women it gives a sense of safety, commitment and loyalty. Besides a man capable of such focus and passion only needs a little direction to become a great success! Thanks again.

[@crypto2276]

👍👍

[@dwightbrown]

Wow. What a truth bomb. And I thought I had heard it all and figured it all out. Great video

[@AndyJMacLeod]

My thought watching this: I’ve never been particularly romantic, because I guess I felt secure that my ex-wife and I shared strong Christian values, and that I was a good husband and father. But she cheated until I divorced her. She wasn’t happy. Not sure how that fits with this view of romance. She wanted romance/attention that she wasn’t getting.

[@rcdoubleu]

I was actually thinking about that factor. money does translate to provision and protection. Yet i think it's the money and status that men created to compete with guys who women would naturally go for...not the other way around.

[@brucecates3772]

Wrong she got bored with you and hence was no longer attracted to you so she moved on. It is what it is.

[@sargeklein]

Yeah women need romance. If they don’t get the kind they desire then they will think you don’t care

[@Deleteduser101]

It's because of how women are conditioned these days...women are conditioned at the benefit of men by showing them millions of romance to benefit the poor man

[@ColdSteel-oi3um]

Most men don't understand the difference between spinless, subservient romance vs dominant, masculine romance. Masculine romance is leading the woman in interactive, fun or adventurous activities. An example would be taking a ballroom dancing class together. Spineless, subservient romance is the kneeling to propose, offering the woman gifts and offering the woman money.

[@charlesclose2420]

I did Arthur Murray but my partner showed retaliatory jealousy towards myself and the cute female instructor. She refused to go on with lessons but was more than happy to criticize my dance skills when we went out.

[@treeforged9097]

Wrong, I, like most men, hate dancing so it would be totally subservient of me to go to a ballroom dancing class with a women just because she likes it. On the other hand, I enjoy my side hustles, making money, I don't do it for the money I do it because it is my passion in life. If I take the money that I make from doing the things I love and give that to a women to make her happy, she is made happy and I get to do what I want and I don't have to do cringy nonsense that she likes. That is the dominate form of romance not this spinless nonsense about bowing down to her and all of the frivolous things she likes to waste her time on.

[@ColdSteel-oi3um]

@@charlesclose2420 Why do you stay with her if she doesn't follow your lead? She knew that you'd tolerate the disrespect. That's spineless and subservient romance.

[@ColdSteel-oi3um]

@@treeforged9097 No, giving money to a woman to make her happy is spineless and subservient, my friend. Obviously, you didn't pay attention. Once again, I said that it's all about LEADING the woman in adventure or fun activities, not giving her money like a sugar daddy. Maybe your English isn't very good. The phrase, 'such as ballroom dancing,' means that it's an EXAMPLE, not that it's the only way to be romantic in a masculine way.

[@PK-xu7gu]

@@treeforged9097 Lol, you've just got yourself a prostitute mate. You give her money to keep her around and to sleep with you.

[@skepticalbystander]

Man I've never thought of it this way, but half way through reading the title of the video, I knew what you were gonna talk about...sigh* what a world...

[@jeffreycfmok]

Isnt it crazy that in all of this, women have to bring absolutely nothing to the table? They are simply born and they win.

[@velislavaart2214]

You are so brave to tell that. Thanks so much.

[@siberiangirl1941]

I admit I am a bit of an outlier here but I find wealthy men extremely dull. I am related to one of the wealthiest families in American history. Very old money. Polo matches, couture wardrobes, yachts & endless parties. You would think they have all the confidence in the world but generally not. The competition at the tippy top is brutal and nothing is ever enough. There is nothing I love more than to be at a dive sports bar on a weekend with guys (people) that are just happy to have a day off & can genuinely love their friends & family & have fun.

[@keylanoslokj1806]

Yet you would only marry a doctor or an engineer. Not the 4/10 looking tech support dork or the McDonald's burger flipper

[@siberiangirl1941]

@@keylanoslokj1806 actually I married an alarm installer that later became a contractor/design/ builder.

[@keylanoslokj1806]

@@siberiangirl1941 yes basically what i said. Hypergamy

[@siberiangirl1941]

@@keylanoslokj1806 what? The fuck are you talking about

[@keylanoslokj1806]

@@siberiangirl1941 open a dictionary if you got foreign words

[@NotInformedOfficial]

Bro, you are something else. keep it up!

[@sarahellison1154]

I'm grateful for the ability to hear what he's proposing, but also to know that it's only part of the truth. Hurt people hurt people. And as children whose physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional health is not provided for grow up into adults, they project that pain and lack onto a slew of partners. At first they do whatever feels the safest. Find a man with money. Find a woman who adores you and thinks you've hung the moon and showers you with sex. Then watch as it crumbles because we haven't learned to meet our own needs and release our pain and suffering. But life can be incredibly romantic when you CHOOSE it with intention. When we are healthy, we can bring romance into our relationships. Not "superficial, needy romance" but the deep desire to know what the people in your life crave in loving partnership and how you can give that from an OVERFLOWING, ABUNDANT cup of self love. This isn't limited to our spouse. It's our brothers, sisters, mother's etc. To be able to love from overfill-- not lack--changes the game. And I would argue that one of the single most fulfilling aspects of life is shared experience-- to know and be known. Hard to be known by your husband if he has 700 wives and additional concubines. Or by your wife if she has chosen you simply from lack and FEAR, which produces a cringy feeling because she's never truly loved you for you. While I appreciate the psychology, we are more than our histories and traumas. And history is here arguably to help you choose a different way. What if we got so healthy and clear and passion- and purpose- driven that our relationships became an extension of the love we have of life. Wanna see how things can be if we simply act according to our ancestry? Watch chimp nation. When our individual survival and procreation trumps the collective good, we will return to base and tragic existences. Yet at the end we will still long for deep meaningful existences. Hugh Heff may have "lived the dream" but how many people sat around his bed as he was dying who truly knew him his entire life? Who could be present with his passing in a profound and supportive way? Anyways, I could go on. But I won't. I just encourage those that come to this page because they have been hurt by people who have been hurt by people... Decide what is true and beautiful for you. Decide what kind of union you can build that is raw, open, expanisve, and fulfilling. And choose wisely someone who marches towards those goals and is ready to work to keep it alive. Fall in love with life, own your authentic truth, and then allow love to flow. Safety is an illusion. It is only created within. Give not from needing to receive, but from your heart, from the overflow you create-- and you will never run dry 💙

[@Plans4YouJer2911]

Don't know if you are religious or not However, it was very well written Very thought provoking Reinforced some of my beliefs Three types of people #1 there are Givers #2 there are Takers #3 there are Givers, so they can be Takers But really that's all they are is Takers HHHMMM ??? Maybe answering my own wondering about a situation #3 are they a narcissist ??? Blessings to You on Your Journey 😊

[@joeg4466]

I think you missed the point of this video.

[@Handlehandleblabla]

Interesting perspective. Yeah only focusing on transactional side of relationships is kinda raw. It is important to be aware of these aspects though.

[@J_S209]

At 5:13 …. “There’s no way he’s gettin’ laid” …. GOLD …. This bloke rocks, bullseye every time.

[@clarkengelbert4575]

What do I think? I think this channel is incredible and want to thank you for the awesome content you put out. Very well done, sir.

[@Citizen-by9vw]

Love it, Dr Taraban. And, as someone who at least thinks/hopes he believes in Jesus Christ, I always appreciate the biblical references. Thank you

[@mattg1889]

I think from an evolutionary perspective, the romantic man trope represents the male providership mating strategy. By being romantic, the man is communicating to the woman that he will devote all his resources and attention to her, as opposed to a male who is just trying to spread his seed to as many women as possible, and isn't providing as many resources to a given person. The conflict women have is which choice in men is going to benefit them the most.

[@briceparlant9304]

Mind blowing ! Thanks to you and others I’m loving history and anthropology.

[@naturallyniece320]

Hey!! I have binged watched your videos!!! My question is, are you married? If so for how long? And what made you settle down with your wife? We’re you guys married young? Or was she one of the lucky women over 30? Who made a great offer you couldn’t refuse?

[@denniswilliams7922]

So I completely agree with this, and I thank you for the message. What I got out of this video is simply don’t waste your time romanticizing a woman. Use your time to become king Solomon, and then, if a woman earns the right to be romanticized, then you can choose to do that or you can simply choose not to, because there are other women waiting for you

[@Promet17]

I think that there is reason for why women fall for romance. In a way, romance either can appeal to their vanity (this man worships me) or it can be a very good sign that a man is going to commit in the long term (this man has what it takes to provide for me, and he loves me, so he won't leave me, either). However, the origins are most interesting.

[@TheForgotten__1]

Hands down KZbin channel of the year. Bravo 👏

[@niceprincesslucky]

Well damn! It’s all a lie! 😂 You men really got me into believing I wanted a knight in shining armor when all I wanted was a king!

[@rissrose3470]

hahahha

[@Plans4YouJer2911]

Glad to know women watch these videos as well I watch women sharing videos as well Always trying to learn Blessings to You on Your Journey 😊😊😊

[@Feber2001]

I truly appreciate the professional perspective of modern love/relationships.

[@bradbowers4414]

In real life a man can use some of both. He might not be totally poor but also isn't Solomon. He can supplement his game with Romance, especially when he really loves the woman. She feels special, and receives things she does actually like (notes or flowers), but also likes the status he does have. Men can be in the middle.

[@FloridaManConstruction]

How far you have come in this past year! Totally deserved Doc! I appreciate ya. 🙏🏼🌴🐈🐈🐈🐈🌴🏴‍☠️

[@rockster1385jh]

I understand that this is for educational purposes and so I want to be respectful with sharing my experience and thoughts as simply as thoughts and experiences. To me, I've come to learn that and realize that romance is dead. It just doesn't work in my eyes. I was on a date with a lady I just met and I did all the usual romantic stuff expected. Plan and set dates, picked her up from her house, and so on. She loved the experience and had a wonderful time as I hoped. 3 days later she didn't want to see me anymore, thanked me for unforgettable first date. Two weeks later I'm with the guys from work and we went to a Chinese restaurant. There I saw the girl I went on a date with, she was doing all the same things to this random guy that I did for her. I saw her fix his plate, (I never did that for her) Payed for the dinner all awhile he wasn't mining her no attention, as if she didn't exist. She tried to hold his hand as they walked out. It floored me but that's when I learned being romantic to women doesn't work. Needless to say whenever I meet up with a woman it's for coffee and sandwiches wearing the 3 S's shirt, shorts and saddles. Dinner dates are for women who want an LTR.

[@wilfredv1930]

I believe that the fact you start your story with your thought: "romance is dead" you still don't understand the thing. Romance never existed in first place, it is a symbolical/metaphorical approach to something factual

[@vaggs003]

In other words, you can't negotiate attraction. She definitely was more attracted to the other guy than you.

[@CoolKidOx]

Unfortunately you have it wrong. Taking a woman out for dinner is not a romantic gesture it’s basic. The extra things such as flowers, chocolates, poems are “romantic” and indeed won’t make her like you unless she sees you as financially stable and able to provide for her and the offspring. Taking her out for coffee wearing shorts and sandals will ensure she won’t like you.

[@Plans4YouJer2911]

LOL LOL LOL ROFLMBO well, if he not interested in the LTR, why waste the suit and tie affair She may just jump him after the sandwiches and coffee in the back of his jeep down at the local gravel pit at 2 : 00 a.m. on a Tuesday night Yes Boys, that does still happen !!! 😊😊😊

[@Joe6pack4]

Well done; no one in the red pill has really addressed romance and why it kills attraction. I plan to listen more. Glad I found your channel. I am sending it to red pill friends

[@FeelnLikeIDoEveryDay]

No wonder as a boy it can be so easy to be taken in by the thought of romance. It makes it seem like the goal is won by a choice rather than a competition. Beauty and the Beast for example, Gaston had game and muscles but the Beast had a castle and put Belle in a position Gaston never could. What does it really look like if the hottest girl around never leaves town anyway? She’d end up somebody’s maid instead of having a maid pretty much I guess.

[@cevanille1104]

He's wrong, women do want romance, from a man they desire; so you should make yourself desirable first (be fit, eat well, have a job, be creative/funny). Saying "romance is for poor men'' is like saying "romance is for ugly women". Ugly women are typically ''poor'' in the dating market. Men tend to forget that. Men passed on their genes by being useful, not pretty. Women were selected for looks. As a result the average man is not as physically attractive to women, as the average woman is to men. Now add on the fact that most men don't know skincare and grooming, dress badly and don't workout, the average woman is going to be very dissatisfied sexually.

[@Plans4YouJer2911]

Yes How interesting Knew a gal in college that all the guys thought she was really really hot One night she and a girl friend of hers sat down across from me to eat supper Finally realized after some conversation who they were Actually did not feel overly flattered Jump ahead 15 years Was in the area where she lived on business Heard thru the local grapevine that she was not dating and unmarried HHHMMM ??? 😂😂😂

[@nanayawbaah5283]

Yes Sir......This is very Bitter But , I am taking it in.....thanks for the Lesson much Love from GHANA 🇬🇭....

[@alex0marshall3]

The problem with red pill is that people generally date while having equal status at least in a couple of different ways. The factors that brought them together was proximity and then having something in common. It be nice hearing a comparison of busting myths with true aspects of companionship such as shared identities, hobbies, and ideas.

[@sebastianoquendo8257]

So cool!!! Love this post!! And yet there are men who don't understand this truth!

[@OGSarah]

I’d be curious to know if men enjoy being romanced. Does a beautiful set of flowers or a love letter make a man feel cherished? If not, what are the best ways to show love and appreciation?

[@incogniftoar3943]

It would be unexpected but men is very much a visual type, which means attractiveness of you still a big play whether or not he likes to being romanced. But one thing for sure is NEVER consistently provide for men because they either will take your effort for granted or ran away from you because their ego as provider were hurted, if it's a surprise that you do for fun, go for it but be blunt about your motives to them. We men are a bit silly on understanding feelings. Also, most men likes to get emotional support, being understood, and having someone who wants to accompany them and giving them a good time unconditionally.

[@JoseDiaz-rd9fh]

. Low drama, good with money, initiate intimacy, decent cook, be pleasant to be around as much as possible, don't overburden yourself with responsibilities and activities leave some space for some randomness. Respecting your man is probably the biggest way you can make him feel cherished

[@keylanoslokj1806]

User xrb answered more or less on the ideal way to show appreciation to men

[@PolishBehemoth]

Im a man. I just recently gor romanced by a young dominican woman. She gave me flowers on the first date, which i liked. And we had amazing sex on the same date. We are still talking and like each other till this day. I never thought inwould like getting flowers from a woman, but nobody has done it and she was so simpke and sweet about it. Shes from the caribbean, and shes half my age, so that might have somethinf to do with something.

[@brendangolledge8312]

If you want to keep it simple, then give him good food, give him sex freely and graciously, and don't create much drama. I am thinking about the thing a woman has done for me that was most meaningful, and it was basically just that she showed me that I wasn't just a utility to her. My past experience was that if I ever showed any sign of weakness to a woman, even for just 1 minute, she would immediately leave. I remember talking to my future wife, and something we were talking about brought up really bad memories, and I cried. I thought I had screwed up, because every other woman I had ever been with lost attraction instantly if I cried, or if I otherwise wasn't totally on top of it and capable. But she honestly wasn't bothered by it. She just thought that she should give me a hug. Then I cried more because I realized that I could afford to relax around her. It is such an enormous relief to not have to be at your best at all times. Of course, I try to be my best, and I would still do that for my own self respect even if there were no women around, but it is an inhuman pressure for the people you are with to expect you to be strong at literally every single moment. I don't even cry that often BTW, like once a year or something like that, and it's usually just silent tears, but even that seems to be a deal breaker for some women. Anyway, the main point is that loyalty and compassion are rare and valuable. It meant a lot to me that she still loved me, even when she saw that I wasn't always strong.

[@jn3750]

The most honest psychologist I have seen, Taraban. And I work at a University - with many of them.

[@sagenerd419]

Assuming what you value and seek in a relationship as such is cynically aligned to just sex, resources, protections and social connections I can't help but fully agree. then again, people have a deep desire (I would say need) to feel authentically connected and enchanted by their intimate relationships. something like men and women pair bonding has courtship as the main vehicle for that. so if it can be romantic, it can be a way of exhibiting competence in generating that sense of romantic connection which can flavor and sweeten such a thing in a way that makes that meaningful and fulfilling. It's also a troupe of a married off women being bored and dissolutioned in guilded cages. Romance can be a powerfully impacting and attainable way to establish that connection with people in the outset especially. plus there is a connotation of rich men who aren't romantic being unempathetic and unskilled at relating. so, going this route I laid out I guess if you are of that mind that automatically dwindles the pool of women viable as prospects. How many men, exactly, still opt into relationships where they know they're merely vetted as resources and lifestyle prospects 🤔

[@brucecates3772]

Feel majority of men do know this as provider role is expected of men and women are driven by hypergamy

[@taylornovia8911]

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also

[@deadtoy5360]

Child support and alimony are used to protect women who marry a rich man and get dumped and handed the baby. But it's also being used against poor or average men who were dumped by women, and they get the baby too.

[@AaronEkbladNHL]

If it makes you feel any better more women are paying alimony that ever before in history. This is leading to calls for the laws to be changed because it's not fair to women

[@johnheart6890]

Excellent analysis. I have thought this for years, but it was just a hunch and not backed with evidence! Thanks!