Should You Be Honest Or Polite When Talking To Clients

[@TheBluprint]

I feel like Chris could transition into Psychotherapy with the way he psycho-analyses people he converses with LOL. Choosing the correct wording is definitely very important in our day to day conversations and it’s something I think everyone should work on. Honesty and being aware of where you might be trying to sugar coat something to avoid conflict is something a lot of creatives struggle with. I’m glad Chris addressed this!

[@OppacaTube]

I truly believe that success in working with customers comes from "becoming a part time psychotherapist" both if you are a creative or entrepreneur, Chris gives thoughtful advice because he mastered that practice 💪

[@misterdior78]

He’s just so calm and the choice of words he uses are so much energy and positivity !

[@kimprophete6493]

999

[@virtuallybeige5597]

The craziest part is how every time I get better at sales or client work, I'm actively improving the way I negotiate relationships in my personal life. Thanks a million!

[@thefutur]

they're interpersonal communication skills you are developing. makes sense.

[@Lukavichiano]

100% agree! I've found that to be true for me too :)

[@MatthewEncina]

I'm polite, honest, and direct (most of the time). =) I'm glad Mo is bringing these things up. Good discussion.

[@sorenphil1]

Thats a tacky smiley.

[@tomthumbbutterhead7117]

Many of us are taught that "if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all (until we get in the elevator!)". This can cause a lot of passive-aggressive behaviour, and I see people (and maybe myself sometimes, too - I'm on the lookout) speaking in passive-aggressive terms either subconsciously, or out of unknowing habit. For example Thanks in advance! I feel the lesson here is when we suppress things, they pop out somewhere; almost always.

[@Brightnessize]

@@tomthumbbutterhead7117 Very true. Why thanking in advance, anyway!?

[@tomthumbbutterhead7117]

@@Brightnessize Not everyone views TIA as a passive aggressive statement, and to some it can come across like a subtle pressure to comply with the request.

[@3dsgns727]

Why is this channel so criminally underrated? All the videos should in the millions mark. These are not only design lessons, these are LIFE lessons

[@felixsoza]

Time is the ultimate currency. When you are fake you are wasting people’s time.

[@hvsnd]

totally agreed.

[@Brightnessize]

Time is life. And the only non-renewable resource.

[@Archgyan]

Guys, I'm so glad that all of this content is not behind a paywall. It helps people like me (all the way from India) learn, grow & build my business in the right way. Thanks a ton guys and keep up the good work! Chris Do is a LEGEND for sure!

[@thefutur]

support us when you can.

[@DrinkswithChris]

Here's some inside perspective from a customer. When anyone tries to sell me anything, I can tell straight away. I get turned off and defensive immediately. My full focus is on battling the salesperson because I see them as wanting to trick me. If a salesperson approached me with the honesty that Chris told Mo to use, I would straight away be accepting of the conversation and therefore the possibility of buying something BECAUSE i respect honesty above all else.

[@tonikagency4996]

Chris Do is the Bruce Lee of the creative design world

[@isleofsim2411]

This was super insightful! That one line about the difference between 'I have to do this' and 'I get to do this' just completely flipped a switch for me because as someone just starting out I've always been afraid of being too direct or honest, feeling like maybe I need to wait a few years to be able to say I have the experience to say whether something is right or wrong, and while that is true in some cases, I feel like this video has finally helped me understand where I need to hold my ground and say something in the non-violent objective way that Chris describes so I'm not doing someone a disservice in the name of being polite and to make sure I'm listening carefully to what the client needs. These one on ones are simply incredible!

[@adamasensio]

It seems that the video title is misleading us : You can still be polite while being honest. Being polite is deleting the mean and unnecessary words. So it doesn't interfere with honesty. Find the right balance. Great video :D Love Chris' verbal analysis

[@thefutur]

The goal of politeness is to spare the other persons feelings. The goal of honesty is to speak your mind. You can do so without being mean.

[@rymbouchetara2943]

There is magic in the way you talk, the rythme if we can use this word, the voice, the speed for words, and of course the gold meaning behind... Wish all teachers were like you

[@thefutur]

thank you Hildweig!

[@rymbouchetara2943]

@@thefutur You're welcome ^^

[@3dduff]

WOW. I totally do this. I become apologetic as soon as money comes up in the conversation, and I have seen my self jump to "make a deal" mode as soon as I get resistance from my client.

[@robertmapes]

This video can apply to more than just talking to clients. Everyone deserves you being real and respectful with them. The "have to" vs. "get to" is such a nice bite sized take away. On top of it all the idea of changing your language internally does seem hugely beneficial. Not only for those you interact with, but what I think more importantly is your view and standing of/with yourself.

[@GoldenLeafsMovies]

"That changed the whole dynamic of that statement" Chris:"Let me dive deeper."

[@Dippns]

Being neutral and trying to approach conversations with clients in a neutral manner makes using the negotiation and other techniques Chris talks about, so much more comfortable to integrate and ultimately successful. This is great insight, if you go into a call feeling like you need to win the job, points you want to bring up and cover are going to feel forced or worse, missed completely, because you might feel the call has already derailed and you lack the clarity the neutral mindset provides, to steer it back in the right direction.

[@theseyikayode]

This clip is so knowledged packed, i think one of the difficult part of this whole process is the choice of word we use in conversations in general which requires a lot of self consciousness and intentionality, which most of the time we ignore. Thank you for sharing your knowledge once again Chris.

[@MarkSavant]

I love how Chris explains you need to gradually shift this mindset to nonviolent talk. Just commit to being a little better than yesterday

[@edenphilemon7459]

From listening to Chris I've learnt something about me. I view(or used to 20 mins ago) money as a token/tip/ favour that I kinda don't have the right to get when doing business. I think this is because years in customer service engrained in me that the customer's needs come before my own and so subconsciously while I'm doing more than I typically should and slaving away to satisfy my customer I'm hoping they're happy enough to tip me and I have to be grateful.... and then I always end up feeling exploited and resentful. That's why I've always felt guilty about asking for money from anyone and also afraid of confrontation. But I'm learning now that MONEY IS THE REASON I'M HERE I'm not greedy I'm just a business person and I'm not your friend I don't owe you. We can be friends but first things first.

[@BenRangel]

Super insightful, just as a way to get the most out of day-to-day life. The restaurant example was great. I feel like personally I used to be afraid of asking for something if I don't know if it's considered dumb or not. For example: if a portion is too small - asking more potatoes is considered ok, but asking for more meat is kind of a no-no. However I generally find that it's best not to assume. I once asked for more potatoes and had the staff look really worried. 10 minutes later I find out that they were out and were digging around for new ones. Had I just told them "I'm still a bit hungry - could I get more of something?" they would've asked me if I was fine with some more beans. It's probably something similar in design: If a client asks for something super specific like a certain font, the designer might be annoyed. But if they just say what their problem is in general - the designer can give them some options on how to solve it

[@lukaskrogh2702]

This video made me realize how important psychology is in marketing... wow

[@jamietalley8232]

I needed to hear every part of this. I try so freaking hard to never make waves and people please the heck out of every single person I come into contact with. It's something I've been working on, but I never thought about how it can negatively affect my client relations. Thank you for this video!

[@Pewdieguey]

The truth is in the language. Listen to yourself and the client. This is what Im taking from this.

[@PaulMendes]

Great video! Thank you for sharing this genuine conversation. As a freelancer I find that focusing on being direct over being polite with clients is the best. By being transparent and setting boundaries you can avoid miscommunication and properly set expectations. When you make it clear that you are listening and that you understand their concerns, you put yourself in a better position to get on the same page right away and determine if you are a good fit to work together.

[@ionaszaro1912]

As a creative I admit that this advice may be incredibly obvious, but unfortunately the "money" conversation is still making many individuals in this industry uncomfortable. Congrats to the Futur Team for the way of putting it in the table. Keep up the excellent work!

[@thefutur]

Thank you Ionas

[@DomAviationChannel]

After 3 minutes I realized I needed to download the audio file before its been taken down ... great content! Thx guys!

[@GarethDavidStudio]

Great discussion, enlightening!

[@AbbasAD85]

It's Gareth! I love your content!

[@ponmari]

this changes everything for me. thank you so much. i think i'll be working on this gradually because just like chris said, i've spent more than 25 years of my life being polite. which put me in situations i never want to be in. where i blame myself always in the end and it's hard to just let go of that especially when client meetings put my social anxiety through the roof and being overly polite and agreeable is my tendency. im tired of always getting the short end of the stick. it's nice how it's been broken down here in relatable and easy examples. this channel is such a gem.

[@JagOnline]

Guys, This is GOLD.

[@AnthonyPham]

All the Futur makes are bangers. Love it. Also side note...love the way the chairs are set up, the curvature of the chairs make an imaginary circle. perf

[@thefutur]

thanks Anthony!

[@RodrigoTasca]

@@Moismai BIG FACTS

[@Pewdieguey]

Wow.. I just love to see what Chris is wearing...Best style I have see in the professional world.

[@thefutur]

Wow, thank you! it was mostly G-Star clothes

[@Pewdieguey]

@@thefutur Cool Thanx

[@zezenia_art]

Extremely helpful, now it's 100 times easier to speak to clients Usually after hearing the request we start with (it's a pleasure to be able to work with you, i'm sure we are going to produce something deserves praise when we are able to work together in future terms if we agreed to everything (stayed in the same page), but business is business so let's discuss money now) always felt that this was a little bit aggressive because the (oh, ok) as if they never saw that coming (and maybe they didn't because of the "nice" approach at first) I personally like the way you put it on the table so amma use it next time definitely, so thank you 🙏❤️

[@jamsand3]

Never mind business I'm learning about myself here!

[@AlvaroCenteno-i6t]

Another great video from thefutur, thanks Mo, Rodrigo and Chris!

[@TheMadkarma]

The guest is so humble. Bro is a master as far as this video reveals.

[@arthurung3441]

I will say 99% of Futur content I just love and it resonates with me. THIS ONE really hit different. I loved the "Get To" mentality. I also loved the way Chris broke down talking about money with the client. Also love seeing Mo. I'd vibe with Mo. ha. Great work team. Thanks so much.

[@thefutur]

that's a lot of love Arthur! Thank you.

[@mscopeland]

This is one of the best conversations. It hit me hard and resonated with me so much right now with where I am in my business. I told myself that the clients I want are people who can all sit at the same table, get along, and have a good time breaking bread with eachother. How you articulated the, friends vs clients part was perfect for me. I have some people I just do work for, friends... but how you bring up talking about the money aspect is true, not forced etc. Really really really great conversation. Thank you

[@VictorMEmediato]

Amazing talk... I notice that every try to be polite, I'm not complete honest. And when I'm honest doesnt sound polite. I need to bring both together.

[@Fartyboy1]

Good conversation, and well done Mo for putting yourself out there. It take enormous strength to own something that appears to be a fault in our character and publicly accept it without defending it. Mo, your the man 👍

[@hakeemhayden]

Honesty is valuable

[@luizfelipe_la1987]

I need to hear this, not only for professional matters but also balance my personal life. Thanks a lot guys.

[@calilz8297]

I love these discussions. Mo is the everyday thinker & Chris helps enlighten all of us. Thank you Mo for expressing how I think at times & thank you Chris for expanding my Thought process. 💯❤️💯

[@calilz8297]

@@Moismai I just subscribed to your channel. 😤🔥

[@chriscannon2490]

How serendipitous. Years ago, I did a weekend Non-violent Communication workshop. Earlier this year, I wrote "get certified in NVC" on my mental list of goals. Inspired to go for it! Thanks, Chris!

[@thefutur]

Good luck with NVC

[@chriscannon2490]

@@thefutur Thank you! And thank you for all the amazing content!!!

[@stephanief.390]

The Want versus the Have is it for me! This video is now a favorite. Thank you!

[@Jon_bodhi]

So much value in this video!! ✊🏼

[@RodrigoTasca]

Tons!

[@ajrismaksud]

I can't cope with the fact that I found out about you 2 weeks ago 😭 I love your vibe and your work! You're such an inspiration, thank you!

[@Herecomesthedreamerr]

To be respected and to be respectful takes self-control, it's to say what's needed constructively instead of destructively.

[@gregoryjhickman]

I straight love this video. shout out to vulnerability displayed here especially by Mo. #respect. Chris, masterful as always.

[@thefutur]

Thanks GH!!

[@gregoryjhickman]

@@Moismai 😂

[@kumar_nikhil]

Being honest means letting other people know what you think. Being polite means choosing the right words to express what you think. In my opinion, honesty and politeness both should be used when talking to clients. It gives client wonderful experience when working with you and the result that the client wants.

[@thefutur]

The aim of politeness and honesty are different.

[@kimt3120]

I really like this lounge set and the convo of course.

[@nouram1879]

More of this please! Absolute GOLD!

[@yashbutno]

Love this video 💙🤍 So much gold in here! So, so much more than the title had me think 😍

[@kevinreyesphotography]

I am distraught due to the low amount of views this amazing video has gotten. This is one of those DIAMOND nuggets. This lesson isn’t minimal; this is one of those “Foundation” adjustments that will change everything!

[@ivantillett]

Awesome video for business and life and general. I love the I get phrasing vs. I have to.

[@curinderwin]

This is the most profound discussion I have had the opportunity to listen to in years.

[@ThugLifeModafocah]

Brilliant again. This man has an amazing brain with so much knowledge and sharpness on its usage. It's really impressive.

[@Steakdosenleiste]

Love the format and the length. Would like to see a hand full of text slides at the most important moments. On the other hand, by not emphasizing those moments, the viewer can find their own moments.

[@diegoburitica731]

Chris you always come here share very useful pieces of wisdom. I find myself learning something every time I listen to you and it feels very nice. Thank you Chris

[@thefutur]

Thank you

[@JosePerez-vt7zs]

The fact that Chris was able to change Mo's mind so easily says a lot about them both.

[@coleheffernan5799]

This is so important, and language is so powerful and telling. Game changing conversation 👏🏼

[@tuams]

Yes, Chris. This was amazing. I had suspected that radical honesty AND nice is a great way to form connections and I feel you have convinced me to pursue this even further. Thank you for being.

[@thefutur]

Glad to hear

[@VincitDesignCo]

Definitely love these deep dives into the one-on-ones! Super helpful to have the role-play, but then to have a a whole break down is a bonus! Thank you!

[@thefutur]

Glad you like them!

[@nolan9221]

Truth has No Temperature.

[@eaaeeeea]

I really admired my colleague in sales talks where he was firm but polite. After I saw that I started focusing on speaking my mind in a non-violent way like you talk about in this video. It's really difficult being nice and true to yourself and others at the same time, because your emotions amplify your positive and negstive thoughts. It was a really good advice that you have to detach yourself from wanting or not wanting to do something and just be there.

[@stiansberg7869]

I've been saying this for years. 'Do you want me to be honest, or do you want me to be kind'? The moment people get the choice and they ask for honesty you know what they think of you. After that it's pretty cool when they ask you again another time. Always be constructive though. No need to be 'honest' if you have no idea what you're talking about.

[@digitalarch1969]

Also have been my dilemma for years being a Filipino almost immediately being equated to be nice! haha One thing I also noticed is that does culture impact this as well? Coz most Filipinos have this mentality that the client/prospected client might feel bad or upset. Thanks for the amazing video guys

[@troillandford7679]

I think the boomer generation were very agreeable people work wise. Sometimes they are too grateful about their jobs that they don't bother with complaints or even asking for a raise.

[@JournalingWithNadia]

Mo going "dang chris" at 1:30 is literally me every video

[@SoniaSuraliya]

Thank you, Chris, for the video. I needed this very much and I just loved the way you explained everything.

[@SoniaSuraliya]

@@Moismai yes, it is!

[@rahimulkabir5066]

Coach, you just opened & teared down my whole mentality, and gave me a new one again🤯💥💯 Hands down coach! Hands Down 💥✌

[@thefutur]

Thank you 🙏

[@ghossler]

this is such good content, we need more of these type of content and setting Chris, i love it!!

[@nikhilgidwani5789]

Thank you The Futur and Chris! I work in video production and you helped me moved from an hourly rate to a set rate. Thank you!

[@thefutur]

Happy to help!

[@waeez1799]

This just changed the perspective, Chris you are making it so easy to talk about money for us, thank you.

[@thefutur]

Glad it was helpful!

[@ceindydoodles158]

I really love it when you talk about being powerful, present, being neutral, and arriving as an equal. I would love to have more resources to be more neutral and less judgemental and speaking in a non-violent way.

[@thefutur]

Thank you 🙏

[@RoBoTrOnIc1001001]

Communication is key to life.

[@normalonevideos9778]

chris your amazing, i work as an chemical engineer and studying to become a web designer/ game designer. Your words of wisdom are amazing. I feel at the end its not what you say and what you do but the "chris do " experience that sparkles in these discussions.

[@strahilprimedivision8718]

Wow! one of the best videos I've seen lately.

[@ClownAl3n]

I need more of these. He was right!

[@thefutur]

Thank you

[@svalinaj]

Loved this video! The bigger the obstacle, the bigger the opportunity to come out better at the other end.

[@misterdior78]

Your AMAZING! I’ve watched so many of your whiteboard sessions ... thank you 🙏 - Australia 🇦🇺

[@peachbuzz2009]

Have been binging on these videos. This coaching session was great!

[@adtheanacosta]

Great observation. Great lesson for life. "Details" can make such a change.

[@ShaudaySmith]

It's a tough thing to clearly differentiate between being polite/honest to the detriment of the interaction. Of course being polite does not mean being dishonest. And being honest does not mean being rude and callous of the other person. Of course you should be polite AND honest. You really need to approach ALL communications from the stand point of being honest and polite. Honest in that you speak your truth and polite in that you are respectful of others time and feelings. This means having a certain level of emotional intelligence and being cognizant of others.

[@thefutur]

If a friend who is wearing something awful asks you how they look, how do you respond? With honesty or by being polite?

[@ShaudaySmith]

@@thefutur This is not an either/or situation either. You can be both honest and kind.. I can format my honesty into a way that communicates my true opinion but isn't a smear on the other person. Instead of laughing at the outfit, and saying "what on earth were you thinking?" You could say that a different outfit would be more fabulous on them. The occasion calls for something more along the lines of ... This communicates that i think a different outfit would be better... Talking from business point of view, you can be and should be kind and honest. The bit about not speaking up in a restaurant when the order is wrong as wanting to be polite over honest is a misalignment. Correcting a bad order is about a different set of communication standards - speaking up for yourself and being your own champion in your life when you are wronged (even in small situations like food ordering)... again in a kind and honest way. Instead of berating the waiter for the wrong order or bad tasting food; Instead of trying to simply avoid the potential conflict and enduring a bad experience; Politely communicate the error and kindly request a correction.

[@adamvlux]

Love this, thank you you guys!

[@readyforthemoshpit]

These talks never fails to educate and amaze me

[@nuborn.studio]

Chris, man. You are such a huge gift to me. Thank you!

[@RodrigoTasca]

He's a gift to us all! :-)

[@thefutur]

Thank you

[@ipranjali]

I relate so majorly with Mo! Chris you're a magician!

[@thefutur]

Thank you 😊

[@backpackr]

Got a hard truth from a client- I didn't get back to them in a timely fashion. Sure I called them a few times and they kept putting me off. So I focused on other clients. They opted to not renew their contract and I didn't fight for it. The client is always right. I learned something.

[@Brightnessize]

This is called Non-Conflictual Assertiveness. And comes only with practice. And active listening. Not for replying, but for deep understanding. Which means you need to listen - and give feedback - a lot.

[@fastfutureforwardbychristi9064]

this is so amazing, thanks for that shift:)

[@top5foryou834]

love your way of teaching man you have helped me a lot much love!!!

[@MikeFlex]

y'all are straight killinggg it with these group sessions...starting to brainstorm how to get more involved

[@MiaogisTeas]

Careful, this isn't groupthink. But your message is correct.

[@MikeFlex]

@@MiaogisTeas I just googled the term and you are right...that's absolutely the wrong word 😅 edited

[@zabglz]

Funny to see this series Mo’s biases and see them clash with master Do. Great series guys thanks. To me, when someone helps you change your perspective is the best way to learn.

[@lucian1607]

Thank you for the talk. :)

[@Sevenge7zone]

Thank you i really needed this

[@AshtonZee]

I have the se energy as the guy on the other mic, I really love Chris does advise on this!

[@jwarit2410]

The reason why I'm polite is I just want to be nice! this just changes everything I've been believing!!

[@luisca92]

Thank you for this. verbalized something I've felt for a while

[@rhondaallison7815]

I wish I had chris as a life coach. I have a really hard time with being to nice to people even if the person treats me badly im still worried about how me responding will make them feel or it causing more issues. I'm that person that can't say no I put myself in hard situations just to help someone else 😔 I had a boyfriend tell me that I was to nice and I said what's wrong with being nice he said nothing ur just to nice you cross a river for people that wouldn't jump a puddle for you and that made me realize dang I do now I need coaching on how to change it lol ive actually asked people how to become more blunt and assertive even how to become a B***h I always get it will happen over time well im almost 37 and im still the same way I can remember being young and my grandmother telling me that I needed to grow a backbone and stop letting people take advantage of me idk maybe im just screwed 🤣

[@thefutur]

You do have me. I make videos for this reason.

[@rhondaallison7815]

@@thefutur I love all the content! You have an incredible way of breaking things down in way they wouldn't have been thought of or at least not by me. Would love any video recommendation you think would help or maybe look forward to one in the future 🥰

[@mindfulmagician7550]

Chris Do is the best. Another video I'm saving into my list :) If you're looking for more resources on how to be assertive, check out the book "The Assertiveness Workbook" by Randy J. Patterson. Based on his book, it looks like you lean more into the Passive Communication style, which means that you tend to favour other people's opinions over yours or your own needs. Overcompensating by using an Aggressive Style of communication is also not good. Assertive Communication is the sweet spot. Hope that this helps :)

[@thankdrew1173]

@Rhonda Allison I think you made a Double Entendre. Not sure you realized you did. Every new video from the futur will be in the future!

[@regent2970]

This channel is a life changing well of knowledge. I appreciate it with all my heart.

[@Svarthoughts]

Be honest and polite ☺️

[@mondavou9408]

2:00 min in and I'm already thinking this might be the best advice I get all day.