217. The Grass is Greener Syndrome (Part 2)

The Grass is Greener Syndrome
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In this video Rory (The Love Chat) discusses the grass is greener syndrome! Is your EX going through the Grass is Greener Syndrome? Are YOU going through the Grass is Greener Syndrome? We also call this a “quarter life crisis”. In this video Rory (The Love Chat) gives some advice on what to do if your Ex is going through a case of GIGS. It is important to allow your EX the time and space to figure out what they need during the grass is greener syndrome so they don’t feel as though the dumpee as preventing them from experiencing what they felt like they needed during this time.
Sometimes the Grass is Greener syndrome is also known as “FOMO” or “Fear of missing out” when your EX feels as though staying in a relationship with you is preventing them from experiencing life fully or growing because your EX feels like you are “holding them back”. Sometimes this is the case but usually if you give your EX time after the breakup to experience whatever they feel like they need they will often revisit the idea of the relationship. Give them time to grow, and space away from you while you are working on yourself.
Related video: • 36. The Grass is Green...
What does the dumper go through?: • 59. What does the dump...
What is my Ex thinking about during No Contact?: • 60. What is my ex thin...
Time is everything when winning your Ex back!: • 10. Time is everything...
Will I ever hear from my Ex again?: • 4. Will I ever hear fr...
How to make your Ex regret dumping you!: • 19. How to make your e...
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[@anewman1976]

My ex contacted me on Xmas day! No contact 6 months (my birthday) broke up May 2018, She is not happy living in India now and wants to come back. So everyone the grass is not ALWAYS greener. We chatted on twitter I got the impression she's not changed one bit. Just wanted to leave this here for everyone.

[@aronchas]

My ex did not contact me on Xmas day! 2 years no contact, yay! Lol!

[@anewman1976]

@@aronchas That's a success so!

[@サヌバ]

what did what did you do did you change your life did you get a job tell me your secret please

[@007mart6]

They come back when you don’t need them anymore 👌

[@jizzlow123]

Keep it very cool

[@ursulahonigman5906]

Give them the gift of your absence.

[@stevemellin5806]

Yes you're right .if they really want you they would fight for you.so let them go .thier loss

[@gepoyramos9450]

Hi ursula

[@Edelweiss1102]

I honestly feel like social media and todays society have skyrocketed "grass is greener syndrome" to a point where many people are obsessed with always wanting more and better things and have lost the ability to value what they have and to sort things out. We are constantely surrounded by (social) media telling us how amaizing our lifes could be, how we can archive anythig, how there are millions of people longing for us, both for hot sex adventures and amaizing love stories. That leads us into constantely comparing our lifes to others, questioning everything, longing for more and not being willing to put in any work anymore as soon as the slightest doubt or problems come up. Why should I, there are millions of people waiting for me, right? Next. I'm not saying that everything was nescecarely better in the past. People stuck together because they were forced to or couldn't afford to leave and in that regard I'm glad we have more freedom and possibilities today. That being said, I do feel like older generations have more value and appreciation for what they have and are more willing to not always act on temporary desires and sit together and work things out. My parents certainly didn't stay together for 30 years and still cherish each other very much because they gave up at the first minor argument. In my own case, "grass is greener syndrome" wasn't the main cause for the break up, but it did play it parts. My ex approached 20, gratuated, social media (especially Twitter) was a constant source for fighting and she mentioned wanting to make new sexual experiences. Approaching one year of break up and 9 months of no contact, while it was tough and a long way, I think it was the right decision to let go and move on. Here are a few reminders: - the grass is never greener on the other side. And it if it is, it's due to the hidden chemicals and manure nutering it, don't fall for it. - don't fall for the lies and fake promises on social media. All the amaizing lives people pretend to have are mostly fake and a facade, they all have problems, fears and anxiety just like you. And while it's important and healthy to analyze your place in life and wishes from time to time as well as trying new things, don't fall for the pitfall of thinking your missing out on everything. Nightclubs and traveling are fun for some time, but get stale eventually and no, there are not millions of people around the corner waiting to f.ck you and being the love of your life, and if there are some, they all get older and may leave you for similar reasons. - value what you have and think twice before sacrificing it for some doubts or minor arguments. Most situations can be resolved if you are willing to put in the effort and it's hard enough to find someone today who respects you and truly wants to spend a lifetime with you. Again it's valid to chek your situations from time to time and sometimes you just slowy drift appart, no problem. But think twice before you drop perfect husband/wife/lifepartner material for that sweet thought of adventurous sex and/or someone younger/more attractive/seemimgly better. It will get stale rather quick and they may vanish out of your life as fast as they appeared. I see this happening so many times nowadays it's sad, most of them end up lonely and broken. - and what I always say, don't be an option, be the ones with options. As for possible video suggestions. i'd appreciate a more indepth video about how to react if things get stale, what shouldn't you do, what can you do, is there even anything you can do? Every relationship will come to that state in one form or another sooner or later, an while I'm aware that there is no perfect solution since every relationship is unique, I'd appreciate to know if there are some things you can do get past that state. A second suggestion would be a video about signs that someone likes you and may be interessted. I'm absolutely terrible at body language and reading hints/signs/moods. There is someone in my university class I quit fancy, and there is some mutual interest from both sides, but it's hard to make out how far it really goes. Beyond that, all I can do is just thank you again Rori. It's been about a year since I found your channel and it has helped getting me through a difficult, but also hope kindeling year. And it just keeps getting better. Thank you and keep up the amainzing work!

[@kagurachan1735]

This comment made me feel better.

[@erickoenig5310]

Been a month since she broke it off w/me "focus on ourselves" line. I did find myself checking FB every now and again. I finally logged out of FB and haven't been on for 2 weeks now. I have to say, im actually extremely at peace with myself now because I had problems with validation and thinking I wasn't good enough because I see all these things from people happening around me. I think about what I do for work and what I do in my free time and realize I'm actually a fun person with lots of friends in real life. Im telling you my stress is down and I'm happier. I dont think I need FB in my life anymore.

[@jd6331]

Thank you ♥️

[@brandonrobertkersjes]

100%

[@GamersClipsinfinity]

The grass being greener usually means dating new people.... Well for me... I suspect my recent ex is potentially doing this already but keeping it low-key to prevent it looking bad on her - because we were engaged to be married next year.... So for her to walk away for greener grass.... She can stay there! If anyone can walk away for no real reason and having so much together.... They aren't worth your time

[@aronchas]

Same happened to me bro. After the engagement ring, everything went down..

[@GamersClipsinfinity]

@@aronchas Sorry to read that fella. My ex once I proposed went full steam ahead on the wedding ( expensive Venu, dress, props etc) then tells me she has been left with the burden of having to cancel it all, sell the props.... I was like I'm pretty sure the burden you claim to have left yourself with is of your choosing.... Then rolled my eyes haha So I went and done what she didn't expect.... Bought myself a new house that's just for me haha

[@GamersClipsinfinity]

@@thisgustin The problem today is that we want traditional relationships in a modern world.... It simply does not work. With social media allowing third parties a gateway into your relationship, temptation at the click of a button, no consequence for infidelity... Traditional relationships simply do not work in a modern world.... I'm actually considering 6 month only relationships.. Get the best part of the relationship then move on. Saves mental well-being, saves financially and is loads of fun haha

[@karenzhang1020]

@@thisgustin 😂 Well said. Good luck to the 6 month relationships.

[@hopelessromantic1763]

Gamers Clip....I dont know why people cant be honest. My ex dumped me accusing me of not being happy with him and cheating. Weeks later he was in another relationship. 8 months now but says he's not. Everything about him changed so I know he is. People lose attraction every day, but to make shit up is crazy to me. He can stay with her, I will be fine.

[@solarexclipse8754]

The grass is never greener. 9 months no contact! Woooooooooooo ❤️💋

[@puebo1472]

I admire you. I really hope that you are "You 2.0" right now, and evolving everyday. Good 2020 for you 💜

[@JoseHernandez-hb8vf]

update? how are you doing now?

[@symkoko1776]

are you back together?

[@activitylog1655]

Update?

[@devrajraikar4423]

Update are u back with your ex

[@ricasso777]

This is so accurate my ex left me after 3 years being together the moment she moved away for work & got promoted . Probably feels she no longer needs me , she’s making more money she can afford a better lifestyle etc. it’ll eventually hit her that the grass isn’t always greener. I’m in NO contact going on 3 months, using this time to grow spiritually , mentally & physically I’m reading and hitting the gym 6 days a week . Sometimes you have to lose someone in order to find yourself . It May be a blessing in disguise. I once heard in one of your vids “ to get there attention you must not give them yours “ so true

[@VaanRavi]

Any update

[@TeKNiQ50]

Did she try to come back? If so, when?

[@Alchemist_171]

Hey man, something very similar happened with me. Into the 3rd month of no contact, it's been 4 months since breakup. She's already dating

[@ricasso777]

@@Alchemist_171 keep your head up man! It gets easier with time . Keep focusing on improving & bettering yourself .

[@ricasso777]

@@TeKNiQ50 she didn’t come back. But has looked at my Instagram stories and photos . I Still remained NC.

[@fannyjohansson6112]

This is EXCACTLY what happened to my ex. He has come back now after almost four months telling me all about this, that he expected that life would be in one way when he broke up with me but did not turn out that way, that he never really doubted if I was the one but that he felt that he needed time to figure it out and to see our relationship in an objective way. He also started dating someone new (she looks exactly like me haha), and I am having a hard time to process it at the moment, but he ended it with her and reached out to me in the end anyway so. Many of you say “an ex is an ex for a reason”, but I am in the believe that you can meet the right person at the wrong time and that time apart (and dating others) can make you realize who you truly love and want to be with :).

[@BeautyandtheBarista]

I wish :( I just don't see him coming back and thinking I was better. He did wrong, but I did so much wrong, too.

[@SugaSuga008]

Any updates?

[@fannyjohansson6112]

We are still together and happier than ever! But our relationship now is totally different from the first one. We have both matured a lot, we are not as selfish as we were before and I feel like we are more of a team rather than two people depending on each other for assurance and happiness. Happiness comes from inside you and not from another person, this is something I have realized during the whole process. So the key to success is confidence, independence and respect and of course both have to be willing to change :) you cannot force someone to change, if they won’t you have to walk away. I also want to mention that I went into no contact immediately and didn’t break it even once, this was the most important condition for our relationship to work again. So if you are in no contact, this is your sign to keep on going!

[@SugaSuga008]

@@fannyjohansson6112 wow amazing!!! Wishing both of you a healthy long successful relationship❤️

[@meganrosecoach]

It’s crazy how accurate this is. Your videos always give me so much hope. My ex is 22 and definitely was not ready to be fully committed (we talked about marriage and living together). That scared him because he thought he would miss out on being free and doing single things. After watching this, I realize that sleeping around and partying can only make someone so “happy”. Real happiness comes from love, commitment, trust, loyalty, and a partnership. He will get it all out of his system and be left broken and empty, longing for me again.

[@Anna-dq4wp]

How are things going Megan?

[@gamesmoke1139]

Mine has come back after 3 weeks of nc, she said the time apart made her see how much she appreciates me. Stay strong ppl it does work. Love you rory

[@RuiNOn3]

and did she 'meet' someone else during that time apart?

[@gamesmoke1139]

@@RuiNOn3 She said no but i have no idea if thats true or not

[@gamesmoke1139]

@Nan Yar well things have been amazing since, so I guess not

[@TheHustler47]

Don't take her back

[@TheLoveChat]

Hi all! Next video is about dating!

[@karenzhang1020]

I am tired of dating. lol

[@Edelweiss1102]

YES! Could need some advice right now.

[@swtstuffx]

Please make a video about being dumped for his ex.. and if there's a chance to get him back😅

[@slicckviic]

Video on the in between of contacting again and getting back together, the best way to get that to happen

[@rubyray777]

Yay! Needed!

[@BrunoDOF]

This video came just in the right time. Thank you, Rory. I was extremely anxious and angry today, and you helped me calm down and focus.

[@moviefan8533]

This was my situation to a T. We were together 6 years, proposed 3 years in and moved to another city together right after. Your friends will ask, “Well didn’t you try and talk to her?” It defies logic and reason, but she was withdrawn and there was nothing I could do about it. I learnt to give her space and not pester her. Her attraction for me rebounded for a time, but inevitably, that grass is greener got the best of her. When it came time to break up, I didn’t put up a fight. I’m sure she’s mad as hell at me for that, but it just seemed like the only way to move forward with dignity. I haven’t seen or spoken to her in 6 months. She’s sent a few breadcrumb texts, but mostly logistical things. “What’d you do with my colored pencils?” Petty things like that. I haven’t taken the bait. This holiday season was the most lonely I’ve ever had, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. A relationship is great, but when you have to constantly think up ways to keep the other person happy (a baseball game, a vacation, a restaurant, constant adventures), it gets tiring. If you just got out of that situation or are going through it, walk and don’t turn around. Improve yourself and the best person possible will seek you out. Whether that’s him/ her is up to them.

[@jaimeherrera4995]

Very great wording

[@mzeye]

I feel bad like I didn't try harder. They gave up on me. I was the one doing trips and etc. They never loved me.

[@jd6331]

♥️🙌 thank you

[@jd6331]

@@mzeye i got given up on too... But i know i gave a lot, so it def wasn't for lack of trying and willingness on my part 🤷‍♀️🙇‍♀️ sad.

[@malcolmhamilton8706]

preach

[@iHwanniex3]

My ex was a goofy, kind person. We were together for 3 years. Then he changed when he moved in with me. I helped him get a job while he was going to school at a tea shop. Then he started drinking and smoking weed with his coworkers till the AM. He changed his style of clothes, hair, personality, got piercings, a tattoo, and a motorcycle. He also stopped going to school and dropped all his classes. And then he cheated on me because I wasn’t what he wanted anymore. He cheated with another girl and his coworker who had a boyfriend and they both are cheaters. They’re together now. I was different. Nerdy. Goofy. And overall not what he wanted because I’m not cool enough. He’s all happy thinking he’s some cool guy now. I’ve been focusing a lot on myself now. Been two months. It’s different and not easy, but I’m working on it.

[@SugaSuga008]

Any updates?

[@glamv2291]

Wow, thank you for the amazing content. This is on points. It’s also good to know that I’m not along, the people posting in the comments are going through it like me. My Fiancé left me in beginning of November. We were suppose to get married this month! We had our issues no infidelity just a lot of Arguing. He also went a bought his own house without me. He blames everything on me. I own up to my faults and take responsibility. He tells me that he tried to work it out and that I’m late to the game. Tried to push myself on him this month. Did everything cried, begged, and on Christmas Eve I had enough. Got a present for the both of us from a family member, told him about it and he didn’t care. So I said to myself that is it I’m done, over it, not bringing this energy to 2020........guess who texted me yesterday 🙄 I’ve realized I need time for myself. I’m over these games. We are too old for petty games likes this. I’ve let go, I need to focus on me!

[@jd6331]

Sorry to hear that, I hope things have improved for you -- def too old for the bs, it's exhausting. Loving someone and making it work shouldn't be made to be so hard! 🤦‍♀️ Best of luck~

[@blackboy6069]

Everybody you have to let them go do it ! I noticed 2 years ago my girlfriend was experiencing this and I held her back because I was worried about the whole thing . Now she had that feeling again and I just let her go do whatever it is she is needing to do. I have no idea what is going to happen and I am following everything that rory is suggesting. I am working on myself and putting myself first. I don't know If I will be there for her at the end but I 100% only need to worry about myself at this point. It really really sucks the whole situation but you have to stay strong for yourself.

[@TeKNiQ50]

What ended up happening?

[@blackboy6069]

@@TeKNiQ50 for the last 2 months she has been begging for me to come back and telling me it was the biggest mistake she has ever made. I don't answer her calls, emails or text messages. She send them everyday but I have become a different person and I'm not going back to someone that didn't appreciate me while I was in her life.

[@TeKNiQ50]

@@blackboy6069 thank you for sharing that. I'm glad you were able to move on and had enough strength to say no. How long were you with her for?

[@blackboy6069]

@@TeKNiQ50 I was with her for 8 years. She wanted to see if the grass was greener but in that time she was looking I grew into something I couldn't imagine I would grow into and she is In the place I was feeling when we first broke up. So I am way ahead of her as far as maturity and relationships.she will be going through the stages of grieve.

[@TeKNiQ50]

@@blackboy6069 wow! Tremendous strength to say no after 8 years. I'm going through something similar now but I've been with her for 6.5 years. I don't know if I would have the strength to say no..

[@hannahlunsford1429]

When we broke up 5 months ago he cried and told me he couldn’t see himself with anyone else and maybe we could get back together one day but I just found out he is in a relationship with someone new. He was just posting a week ago about being single and now he changed his relationship status. It still hurts to know I wasn’t the one he wanted to make things work with but he will eventually see the grass isn’t greener. The grass is greener where you water it and work on things. Either way I hope he’s happy even though I’m still single I know I’m not settling just because I’m desperate.

[@karenzhang1020]

Hannah Lunsford You go girl. 💪 I like your attitude. One day he will regret his decision!

[@fitnessfuncody]

You literally just solve my situation. She graduated and is moving to England in a few months, so she just dropped me.

[@MeganSummer]

Rory, you’re the best. Thanks for being an inspiration to all of us (including fellow KZbinrs!)

[@MeganSummer]

Ps... thank you for also being one of the few credible, no bs channels I can reference in my videos for people to watch, especially after breakups. 🙏🏼🙏🏼 Had to throw that out there, too.

[@lilasteeves3693]

At 73 shouldn't he be growing up by now. Like you said leave them alone they will find out that the grass is greener at home. Anyhow I have moved on . But your lessons sure are helping me understand more. Thank you.

[@rubyray777]

Thanks for the video again! Much needed! Ex did NOT text on Christmas or my birthday which was yesterday the 27th. Admittedly, I was depressed, slept a lot and almost texted him but did not cave! It's been since 2nd June, 2019. Must keep moving forward! Happy New Year!!

[@devrajraikar4423]

Did u guys got back

[@Indianajoe24]

Thank you Rory for your coaching. It has helped tremendously in getting me back to myself. I’d highly suggest his coaching if you’re really struggling. Ultimately, it’s not about getting your ex back, it’s about getting YOU back.

[@taylorgardn1144]

Very encouraging for not only relationship advice but for life advice

[@tomisakin]

SPOT ON! Gf is 30 im 25, we are both ambitious she's amazing, smart beautiful, and frankly in the beginning I pursued her as much. Finally, I thought to myself someone who knows what they want. Now that we are looking to get married, I'm having slight doubts that maybe I'm missing something, i.e other prospects of seeking that next thrill of dating someone new, I'm only 25 after all, yet at the same time, my brain is telling me to be careful, she's definitely a keeper, and you might inadvertently short change yourself. I have the ring, I need help! I have literally 0 good reasons to end things, although this grass is greener itch seems to be poking at me and I'm having trouble shaking it. HELP. so happy I watched this video, I feel you confirmed the insight that I had, I feel like if I go off thinking I could date a supermodel, id is sadly mistaken for spending nights alone and drunk wondering wtf, I just did to myself. You are a BOSS. My girlfriend is amazing I won't take that for granted!!

[@joemoneymondays]

Wish my girlfriend read your comment before she ended things. So foolish. Good for you tho my man

[@amiablecloud]

Ex is in a rebound but is still bitter about me lmao I took the high road and stayed out of her way

[@theid564]

Amiable Cloud Right I feel you on that i haven’t talked to my ex since the breakup, I’ve hit the gym and got into much better shape and she got a rebound and her boyfriend tried following me on Instagram Lmao, We live rent free in their head always.

[@ahmedrashed3975]

Update?

[@mrcupcake5309]

My wife used to complain because she would watch shows like that Zach Effron travel show and believe I was holding us back. Then she was on her phone 24/7 looking at these bs life styles and eventually walked away. Been 6 months since she left, still married but i'm getting to the point where I think "why would I want someone like you back?"

[@aronchas]

Thank you. I got my love for myself back

[@hennylo68]

She's young only 24 and I'm 40. I had no business taking her serious. Let her go see if the grass is greener after 4 years. Have fun love.

[@reginaldsmith6949]

You broke the age rule - Half your age + 7, minimum...

[@hennylo68]

@@reginaldsmith6949 There is no age rule, I just shouldn't take her serious. She's back though and we're in a relationship again, I'm just being cautious this time and not putting all my eggs in one basket.

[@reginaldsmith6949]

@@hennylo68 I hope everything goes well for you.

[@hennylo68]

@@reginaldsmith6949 Thank you brother.

[@011Srbija]

TNX RORYYYY, I just asked a couple of days ago for this topic part 2, and boom, part 2, thanks!

[@abdulrehman-ye3ug]

My girlfriend dumped me after 6 years in which we live togather she ended it saying that i don't love you anymore i have not the same feeling for you so we should end this and she blocked me i was so devastated in starting 3 weeks but now i am going to the gym also got the new job. but still can't stop thinking about her i don't know how easily they move on from long term relationship.. she also cheated in the past then came back but this time i think she is not going to comeback. she also humiliated me when i persuade her not end this relationship she threatened me she calls my family members to cantrol me not to chase her i've done so many secrifices for her but still she thinks the grass is greener on the other side. i wish she will regret it oneday karma will take care of her. 😂

[@jackeliot4497]

abdul rehman congrats sounds like you dodged a bullet

[@TheHustler47]

Same here...after 5 years she broke up with saying that there is no spark anymore.i had sacrificed many many things for her gave her every single second of my time my care everything..she got cell phone no.s of other fellows and even got close with enemies. I loved her with my heart and soul but karma will take care of her....

[@ahmedrashed3975]

Update?

[@micaelabatac1723]

Same situation. He cheated and came back then left me permanently saying that I deserve better and theres no more love that he can give. I dont want to wish him karma tho, i wish him happiness that he deserves. :)

[@sshhffdhshs3343]

This is literally my exact situation down to a tee I’m actually blown away I thought you were telling people my story 😂

[@VanLe-ik1bo]

My ex contacted me yesterday (for unfinished business about his employee). We talked a bit and apologized to each other. He misled me into thinking he missed me, talked about how much he loved me, reread my last message a thousand times. But thanks to my best friend the Internet I found out he has a new gf now so THANK YOU NEXT.

[@VanLe-ik1bo]

And I found his active dating app profile while having this girl lol. I mean he should have deleted or deactivated it at least...

[@jackeliot4497]

Good for you get what you deserve. You aren’t someone’s second option and never will be. Get your check don’t settle for less.

[@VanLe-ik1bo]

@@jackeliot4497 Thank you for your kind words. Next time he asks "what's up" I'll be sure to reply "my standards" :))

[@jackeliot4497]

Know your worth. If your ex wants to mess around and make themselves look bad they can. Just don’t get any of the dirt on you and know that your personal self worth was never dependent on your partner. They can make themselves look bad it doesn’t and it shouldn’t take away any of your value. Relationships are messy but in the end the right partner would be willing to take all the hits with you and not walk away. And their is someone out there better than your ex willing to take all the hits with you. Don’t waste valuable time on people that wanna use you when you could be using it to better yourself and find the right person. Don’t lose your self worth and respect and love yourself.

[@craigmerrila7767]

Here is my theory. My ex divorced her husband and then dumped me, all within 18 mths. She's in a new relationship. I actually think she it more motivated than ever to make it work, because she will look like an awful human being if this relationship fails. And she will do it even if she isn't happy.

[@wyldeadventures9975]

craig merrila I believe that happened to me as well just last month, and you are probably right about the outcome. 😔

[@tonymag28]

Very sad but it’s real. Exactly what happened to my last relationship

[@spiritualrituals9603]

*We missed you Rory. Please share videos more often as I love watching all your videos over and over. I really want you to do a detailed video regarding no contact on Long distance relationship. And when I mean LDR I don't mean same country miles away but rather mean different countries. How hard is it to be back together. Please Rory...i really need it as I am in No contact since 3 months*

[@TheLoveChat]

Hi there - did you watch this one? kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y5XMdmqifMqnisk&t=

[@spiritualrituals9603]

*Yes Rory, I have seen that one but I really need to know my chances regarding on LDR on a different countries. It's been 3 months since I've been on No contact but I ain't sure what to expect. Will it ever work out. I just want to know my chances on this issue.

[@xarchangelx]

@@spiritualrituals9603 You want to know your chances? Flip a coin. No one can truly say. Keep doing what you're doing. Work on yourself. I'm not trying to give you false hope because every relationship is different, but my LDR from another country ex contacted me after 3 months. It took over a month of video chatting and staying cool, calm and collected before she agreed to come visit. She's coming to visit me next week. It can happen.

[@spiritualrituals9603]

@@xarchangelx Thanks for your response. I've met her August 2018, we have been together (well literally) until September 2019 which is 1 year and 1 month. She broke up on September and ever since then I've been in no contact. All I saw was her checking my WhatsApp stories when ever I shared time to time which was just random pictures. Nothing to do with our relationship. We was gonna meet either in her country or my own country around in November 2019 until she broker uneven before that. I am working on my self to be honest... Even though its hard. But obviously I don't know when will she ever reach out, or even " if she would" ever reach out. God knows the best

[@spiritualrituals9603]

@@xarchangelx I just wanted to ask if not too personal, what's was the main reason for a breakup in first place... I could tell u mine, because of distance we often had too many arguments. And put jealousy on top I have to admit most were my fault honestly. It seems like I couldn't love her freely because of my insecurities. But she did know I care about her a lot. Oh by the way on one of the coach lees videos he was saying if in LDR and on NC for around 3 month + you could try your luck and reach out if you think you have nothing too loose. I thought alot and reached out yesterday. I could say I did get a warm hello etc... It wasn't bad. Obviously I was casual and said I am planing to come to your country to meet up few friends.. and I thought it would be nice if I could see u as well but if not it's ok. I just thought I let u know anyway. And she said " I will see you". So I don't really know if it's a good sign even though she said she will see me. Enlighten me pls someone.

[@mrsleazy3337]

Nothing but facts my guy. You opened my eyes right now and I don’t think I even want them anymore tbh. What’s funny is that she still stalks me and now it clicked that she’s just stringing me along when ever she fails.

[@lucyjones8088]

Hey, happy pre new year! Been looking for your videos. Welcome Back!! Thanks for your caring.

[@ladydee4485]

No better Valentine than Rory! Thank you ❤️

[@charlesmullins664]

Rory think with your video your making me more of arounded person and grounded your ex leaving you not the end of the world its an opportunity to make a better version of your self

[@DestroAzureDx]

I have always tried to provide insight into my ex's issues. I keep telling her life is about finding that happy middle ground in certain things.

[@123nadeemuu]

Hey Rory, PLEASE make videos on these very, VERY confusing issues 1) being in the same place as the ex everyday, school, work, college 2) ex messages "do you still love me?" 3) a detail about how to act on social media on every stage of the NC, stories, posts, status, friends

[@faketube8382]

Me and my gf were in a 5 years relation . Mid of 2019 she left the city for job. From then her behaviour changed . With in a month she broke our relation . I got to know she is in a new relation from then . Its very hard for me to think all these . Having a lots of memory with her here . But seems like she is happy there . I know i have faults in me . I did few mistakes but everything was so perfect but now nothing is there 🖤

[@lindarah3189]

Can't wait for our session Rory ☺

[@levicook8787]

With my ex the grass was greener too. But not to party. She wanted more of a boring kind of type to be a potential father. I changed everything, went into therapy, pulled my life around and it was never enough. After about a year of fighting for the relationship by myself she broke up with me anyways. I actually liked my new type of life so continuing on this course, I just wish she would see that I could be the father of her kids. On day 14 of breakup and day 11 of no contact (she reached out the first 3 days)

[@goiptv4296]

She was playing you, women don't like men they can control. She wants to comeback bcz she didn't find a better deal. You are displaying a Nice guy in other words : a Backup Plan for her

[@summerscents8284]

I think, this is what exactly happened to my relationship. I never got any clarity from him but I was able to find out how thru my resources. I got so much mixed signals but up until the end of our relationship he never admitted nor confessed that he has been cheating. So painful.

[@puebo1472]

What a mind opener video. Truly amazing content.

[@myriaml.4896]

Amazing content as always 🥰 Definitely hits home. As a lot of other issues you mentioned... anxiety, clinginess, LDR... It's like we had them all 😂 Sometimes there is just too much too handle I guess...

[@jackeliot4497]

Was waiting for this sequel for a while. Happy I got it when I did.

[@grimreaperpyrotechnics187]

I needed this right now. Thanks Rory

[@johnnyb4181]

I understand now I'll let her get it out of her system I went through the same stuff when I turned rothley 18-19 decided to move States and do my thing and everything thank you

[@MOTwaccoe]

Its official today is the day I gave up on getting my wife back. 25 years down the drain. No light at the end of the tunnel. I dont recognise her anymore she is cold and heartless and gives the impression she doesn't care. I don't know if I will love anyone again as I can't take the hurt no more

[@TeKNiQ50]

Heartbreaking to read this. Sorry this happened to you. What ended up happening since your post?

[@cherrybacon3319]

In one breath my Ex wanted me to treat his place like my own, move in with him and give up my house, then in the next breath he'd be wanting space. At the end of the day his lack of respect for me and his bad treatment of me is what caused our split. 🍒

[@chrisaubrey1950]

My ex broke up with me 5 months ago, I lived with her and her 3 kids for four years, I did school runs took them swimming lessons cooked for them and paid half towards the bills and rent, 2 months after braking up with me she got with a 23yr old, she said I promised her everything and gave her nothing...wtf, it's been the hardest thing I've ever been through, she is 39 now, can't see this new kid doing what I did but 🤷‍♂️

[@nikstar1313]

Chris Aubrey same with me but I was in the step mum role.. things got really hard for me and I needed to withdraw for a while, he got upset and broke up with me.. he cut me off from the kids boom, (5,7,9)... think I am over it but deep down I resent him still and cannot believe he hasn't contacted me. I have to take responsibility for what I gave tho, I'm so annoyed at myself..

[@chrisaubrey1950]

@@nikstar1313 I feel for you it's crazy how they can just cut you off and then that's it you never see or hear from them again, her kids are 11,12 and 15 so a bit older, the 15yr old text me Some times for a chat and advice on things if she needs any but I've recently told her to stop contacting me which was a really tough thing to do, she said she misses me and hares the new guy, it's not a very good example for the kids their mum getting into a new relationship so soon, I don't think it is any way especially with someone so young, he's close to the eldest daughter age really, but yes a lot of time invested picking them up from school and doing all the things we should do when going into that role, I don't think I'll take anything on like that again, thanks for the response.

[@nikstar1313]

Chris Aubrey it's a pleasure, yes, I miss them alot and was devastated and unfortunately I'm very cautious about dating men with kids now that are young.. I'm usually very positive however it hurt too much. You did the right thing, it's so good that the 15 yo still came to you.. positive vibes to you!

[@nikstar1313]

Chris Aubrey and yep I think he is in a new relationship now too.. poor things! He was such a reckless and casual parent but a good guy too, just has no idea what to do..

[@gaararae]

Your videos are always so calming 🙏

[@katherinegrace4065]

Another great one, Rory! ❤️

[@EternalLife91]

Hi Rory, what is your favorite fruit?

[@TheLoveChat]

Oooo probably bananas!

[@lucyjones8088]

Lol 😂

[@stefbohn1790]

loved this so much! 🤍

[@jaimeherrera4995]

Great video sir

[@Vrxkz]

My boyfriend completely blindsided me and broke up with me in June after 1 1/2 years. We had a great relationship, or so I thought- we didn't fight very often and I thought we were happy, I didn't suspect anything and was completely shocked especially since everything seemed completely normal. I even received my good morning text per usual. Later that evening.... he broke up with me. We were talking marriage, a family, he even took me ring shopping! I had even put an offer on a house 2 days before bu!!!!! I found out 2 1/2 weeks later he was already in a relationship. I'm still completely and utterly devastated and heartbroken. I just feel in my gut he's the one. Do you think maybe the whole house thing scared him and this is a case of grass is greener? Do you think I may still have a chance and he'll come back?

[@SugaSuga008]

Any updates?

[@Vrxkz]

Unfortunately, the grass must have been greener.😔 It's been over 10 months now, I haven't heard a peep from him and as far as I know, they're still together. 💔

[@solarexclipse8754]

Thk you ❤️ All the best for 2020 X

[@symkoko1776]

what if this is forced on someone? My ex broke up with me in tears after 6 months of slow fading, crying and telling me he loves and misses me, because his father is ignoring and manipulating him to break up with me! We have been together for 9 years and wanted to get married. But he just can't live without his dads approval and he felt like breaking up was his only solution! Two days before he broke up, he told me that he loves and misses me, and that I deserve the best life and what not ....I am just so heartbroken and treated poorly and disrespected by his father !

[@spookykittty]

This helps so much!

[@ams1013]

I love listin to you . Its amazing how you just telling the story .. Now i undrsand what he feeling instide his mind . Thanks ..

[@brandonrobertkersjes]

Are you saying that we should let them be with other men?! This is a generation of no values.

[@souradeepghosh1996]

I'm currently facing a very similar situation. My ex girlfriend seems to be going through a quarter life crisis. We were long distance for 5 yrs(meeting every 6 months) and I was about to move to her country and live with her permanently. We had plans for marriage in a few years time. Having not met for a year due to Corona, we had been fighting for the past two months. The person started to act very out of character in the last two months. In the last 10 days before breakup, she kept asking for breaks but mid way through it, I had anxiety issues that caused me to spam her on my birthday. And eventually as my anxiety grew, she decided to break up. It's been 15 days of no contact since the breakup. I've been contemplating sending her a message saying sorry for not respecting her boundaries during the break and how I need to work on my insecurities and anxiety. And also how I respect her decision. Any suggestions would be extremely helpful.

[@kungfukenny1540]

Update

[@cesarfernandez38]

I miss the part when you say: "That's all I have for today".

[@TheLoveChat]

It is coming back!

[@tigger4922]

My girlfriend and I broke up 2 months ago. I was incredibly confused at first. This is exactly what is going on with them Do you think I should see others while this is happening?

[@jackeliot4497]

tigger well if you wanna move on then yes. If you wanna get her back then maybe not because you could give her ammunition to use against you. Unless she is dating other people then you could. Idk you gotta get better mentally and physically and if it helps then go do it.

[@tigger4922]

@@jackeliot4497 she saw me out with a girl who is just my friend and got jealous of that fact. is that a good thing or not? i don't date a lot so I don't really know.

[@jackeliot4497]

I’m not a professional at all but the fact she is jealous shows she still has feelings with you. But she can’t expect to reject you and still have you in that way it’s selfish but yeah I mean shows she still cares for you which is 100% better than her not caring at all.

[@kayandjaylove]

I was with my ex 4 11yrs and she left me dam I don't no what to do she got my daughter tooken now I been fighting to get my baby back 4 13months now and it's he'll my mind is crushed but I must not quit but it hurts I can't believe her drug usage would hurt this bad I hate her but love her she's toxic so I must move on but it's hard I stayed gone to focus on getting my daughter back I hate my situation

[@danshaharuddin7259]

Can you do a video about helping partner through hard times or depression? Thanks

[@annaelizabeth666]

I second this please Rory!

[@haklbarry2]

So i liked my ex on tinder just to see what shes going to do. Iam in nc since the day we broke up. Well, yesterday we matched and i had my phone in my hands an saw it was her, the second before she unmatched prob out of panic 😂🤷‍♂️

[@recon7580]

Hey rory, could you talk about when she leaves you for someone else

[@jasonlee1338]

What does it mean when an ex stares at you in public after 6 months no contact ?

[@LC-hq9pd]

I blocked my ex but found out he's stalking me still😱 "Confused"

[@killamilla702]

Quick Question I did No Contact she contacted me 7 days later we were casually texting but I felt her texts were short so I went back into no contact was I Correct?

[@jackeliot4497]

Kevin Garcia hell yes you where correct. You don’t deserve scraps. Brother keep your head up and make her miss you. Improve yourself and go full no contact. She is trynna release you slowly by demoting you to some friendship type shit. Fuck that you aren’t someone’s second/backup option.

[@killamilla702]

@@jackeliot4497 Thanks Tommy your 100 percent correct

[@adamwood87]

totally my ex. some people just need to grow the fuck up.

[@miguelricardosobong4927]

Lol. My ex of 6 years has this and monkey branched me. It is so accurate, she had her first work ever and then started messaging a guy from there.

[@TeKNiQ50]

What ended up happening? Did she come back?

[@jaredcahill1291]

So she broke it off and moved out with the kids. Her parents immediately moved here and moved in with her, helping her take care of everything and basically not allowing her to feel the breakup. Is there anything I can/should do? Is this too specific or is it broad enough to have a video address this issue?

[@margarethaahteragram7540]

What if im actually the greener grass that he tried on. And he just found out that am no longer that green thats why he broke up with me after 2.5 yrs full of ups and downs relationship (where he asked me to marry him alr)

[@maryrose6924]

All of a sudden he felt the need to plan out his life, out of nowhere, so it sounds like grass is greener syndrome. I gave him a lot of space and we both have very seperate somewhat successful lives, but it wasn't enough I guess. Is there any chance for someone like that to come back?

[@Archimischka001]

Hopefully , for the both of us. Going through the same thing right now

[@karenzhang1020]

Rory, can you make a video and further explain the idea of “ unfinished business”? I have heard this phrase a lot recently but am not quite clear what it means exactly. How does it apply to breakups? Your videos are awesome and I am addicted to them. ☺️

[@jackeliot4497]

Karen Z I believe unfinished business refers to a mental condition which attracts and brings curiosity to partners. The relationship that doesn’t have a satisfactory ending is more bound to be revisited. People hate no closure and sometimes the dumper has to receive that to really consider revisiting an old relationship.

[@Taromilk_6666]

Do you recommend not blocking phone number ex? And just block them on social medias

[@julco1761]

Rory you are the best! This is exactly what happened to me after dating for a year. He said he need to change and work on himself but didn't break up, he just pulled away. I took your advice and wished him well and went into no contact. It's been 5 months. I've been working on myself but I still think of him everyday and want him back. Since I'm the one that technically ended things should I reach out or continue no contact?

[@miezltena9384]

hi rory, can i ask? is there a chance that my ex partner will come back? he was so mad when we separated a month ago, he said theres no chance, we have a son together, weve been together for 7 years, hes in a rebound i think, he has so much pride..i dont know what to think anymore..hes so mad, he was thinking i cheated on him, thats why hes so mad..

[@anassalabrach1917]

How does the elation stage last ?

[@サヌバ]

I did something wrong and stupid at the same time i chasing my ex-girlfriend for 5 month the big problem I cried I begged I pleading and.... I want her back I really want her back I I stopped chasing her and I start no contact after many mistakes and I need help please

[@blackboy6069]

Is the quarter life crisis the same as mid life crisis? My partner is 42 and everything rory is saying sounds familiar?.

[@TheLoveChat]

It can be!

[@blackboy6069]

If you ever have time would you please explain the difference between the two on your channel?

[@seanrooney170]

My ex is in college and she said she has changed and she wants to be friends and if we are meant to be we will be. Is this the grass is greener syndrome?

[@jackeliot4497]

Sean Rooney yes

[@seanrooney170]

@@jackeliot4497 so I know it's a long shot but we dont hate each other or anything but do u think this is a phase and I have a good shot at working things out.

[@W-in2343]

@@seanrooney170 how did it go?

[@kwaggacapetown3191]

Possibly a video about female hypergamy?

[@AlexStuntn]

Rory what are your thoughts on blocking ex’s ?

[@AlexStuntn]

TeeJae84 I did the Same I muted them on social media nothing of theres comes up but sometimes there name will pop up on pictures that there liking and it pisses me off sometimes and sometimes I’m tempted to view there story (I never do) I pull back and I tell myself it’s better to not even know what there up to id rather not know what there doing so that’s why I’m thinking of blocking this person

[@AlexStuntn]

TeeJae84 update I decided to unfriend them I didn’t receive any holiday greetings and I’m just not comfortable having on social media if there just going to forcefully not be active towards my page because of our past , plus I always live by the quote “ if they wanted you they’d make the effort to have you “

[@AlexStuntn]

TeeJae84 I have no clue i could be scrolling down Instagram and it can be a page that me and her follow and it’ll say at the bottom we’re it shows how many likes the picture has it’ll say there instagram username with there profile pic super small and then + 100k people or however many ppl like the picture but still most of those incidents are pics of love quotes and things of that nature and it pisses me off cause she likes posts that talk about being together yet she chose not to be with me doesn’t make sense and the last time we spoke she wanted me to not block her , her words quoted “ can’t we just stay following each other even tho we won’t really talk much , like you have 1400 followers there’s no way you know and talk to 1400 ppl “ so I told her “ I didn’t love 1400 of those ppl I didn’t go out with 1400 of those people so if I have to block you if it absolutely comes down to the point we’re I feel like I have to block you I will “

[@KIRELOFFICIAL]

Great video as always. You could maybe do another video on monkey branching, maybe about what to do when in a monkey branching situation. :)

[@MrLukachtamash]

I think my ex had this when she broke up with me 2 months ago... The things that make this even more complicated that I was a monkey branch for her after a 5 years relationship plus we are co-workers. So kind of confused what to do exactly in my situation.

[@rl3656]

Same here damn

[@MrLukachtamash]

@@rl3656 And how do you handle this?

[@rl3656]

Its difficult..still hurting,but not as much as 3 months ago. I made the decision to better myself and not to let negative thoughts take over anymore. I felt like crap, worthless and from time to time i still do. I know and also mutual friends told me i have been nothing but good to her and that they dont get how this could have happen. I know im not perfect but i treated her like a queen and put her on a pedestal that she did not deserve. I mean she monkey branched to me and leaving behind a 'good' relationship. I shouldnt have fallen for het words but yeah too late. I talk to my psychologist every other week. So seek professional help if necessary. No dating for the next months/year. Go through the pain/grief and focus on you. Find out who you are and what you are passionate about and go after that. Everything else will fall into place eventually. Im working out every day and reading alot. Working on my home workout & self improvement videos to start my youtube channel january 2020. RL Fitt ( if you're interested). I dont know if u workout, but move every day and get in shape (gym or home) doesnt matter you will see results if you are consistent. Dont chase her. Just go no contact. That will also help u to detach from her.

[@MrLukachtamash]

@@rl3656 Good for you that you can approch the situation so positively! For me it was two months ago, still very challenging to put myself together. Fake it until you make it. But it is not that easy with seeing her every day, also we are in the same team, we need to interact for our work... But Rory's videos motivates me to work on myself and have a clearer picture on the whole thing. Thanks Rory!

[@kungfukenny1540]

@@MrLukachtamash update

[@cindyg3396]

Please stop those ads in the middle of the video. Highly irritating!