Bill Burr & Nia - Not Checking Out

/ themmpodcast and billburr.com/ and www.allthingscomedy.com/

[@jameza6129]

"I GAVE IT BACK! HOW'D YOU GET THIS NUMBER?!" 😂😂😂

[@nynonimousnynth3844]

lol

[@robinkadergran2799]

He is a fucking legend

[@jmisc]

Nia is such a presence for him to prevent him spinning out of control

[@noahcabrera9870]

And vice versa

[@drbwhit]

This may be the most adorable podcast I've ever listened to. Billy heartwarmer.

[@borisvandruff7532]

Bruce Whitaker Billy Big Feels.

[@PippyPopsSelfHarmMonica]

Wait are we allowed to say shit like that now? We aint gotta hide our feelings anymore?

[@jaelonwillis2336]

@@PippyPopsSelfHarmMonica it's ok over the internet, it sounds weird coming out a dudes mouth tho

[@PippyPopsSelfHarmMonica]

@@jaelonwillis2336 well shit

[@anthonymiller934]

@@jaelonwillis2336 nah I tell my guy friends I love them and care about them..I don’t give AF if they don’t say it back.. But they WILL KNOW that I love them if I happen to die suddenly. When you love someone, platonically or not, tell em.

[@coribelton6272]

I like when Bill and Nia laugh in sync lol aw they’re best friends

[@LectraGMK]

Don't blow it. Keep it simple. Count your money.

[@tylerbrooks6063]

Bravo, friend.

[@stagglee1227]

LMAO!

[@WiseAilbhean]

30 for 30 Going Broke. now i have to listen to Bill Burr recap it just for a laugh! 😂

[@OutdorsDanny]

Fuk that money is fake and it becomes worthless faster than you can save it. I don't know how many times I've paid for something and then just walked the fuk away because I was tired of waiting for dumbass people. And I am no trust fund kid, my mother was on welfare as I grew up and now I work my ass off for the money I make. I do it to support living not because I think money is worth something. And at my age saving that money seems pretty useless since our country is damn near 20 trillion dollars in debt and by the time I get to retirement age we'll be going by the fuking yen. Use and waste that worthless paper while people still think it's worth something.

[@DoubleMonoLR]

Exactly what it reminded me of too

[@joegrills9458]

I really like that bill is rich. Talk about self made and well deserved. So happy for him. I hope I can do as good in life as he has.

[@naylik2562]

Hell yeah. At first I thought he was kind of douchey, then I remembered this dude comes from nothing. He deserves everything he's got.

[@virgie4715]

Right, if anyone deserves it it’s Bill. You can do it too man, we all can. Just takes hard work and willpower.

[@MrBritishNinja]

But he's legit handing bundles of money back to corporations and rich assholes and systems cuz he doesn't want to deal with them. Dude needs an assistant

[@robertglass3944]

Good luck with that.

[@conorobrien1025]

Just watched the movie Rudy and ya know what, it's got me believin in you Mr Grills! Aint gotta prove nothin in this life to nobody except yourself! If you can do that, you can do as well as bill

[@julioacceus253]

"This mahfuga has THREE numbers?" ❤ Nia.

[@ThisHandleFeatureIsStupid]

It would have made my day if she said nigga instead of mahfugga. The thought of anyone referring to Billy Two Tits as nigga just cracks me right up.

[@msg2743]

@@ThisHandleFeatureIsStupid haha that would be hilarious

[@ReezyR]

@@ThisHandleFeatureIsStupid u white

[@HittokiriBatosai]

@@ThisHandleFeatureIsStupid I don't think she says that, hours of her on the podcast

[@noogie003]

@@HittokiriBatosai I’ve heard her say it, was on a podcast talking about how Latinos “call themselves niggas all the time”. Only time I’ve heard her say it.

[@oatmealboy6]

That's when you know you've married the right woman, when she wants to hear all your stories about your childhood.

[@cesareborgia9259]

oatmealboy6 Nah, Bill is just good at telling stories. We all enjoy hearing him ramble.

[@Shinjiz123]

I think anyone woman who dosnt give a shit about your childhood stories is probably not the one dude

[@k4ir0s]

@@Shinjiz123 That feel when my GF doesn't ask about my childhood.

[@veronica-]

@@k4ir0s haven't really asked my boyfriend about his childhood stories but I'd be happy to hear them, if the topic comes up and she's interested that's what matters

[@Asi_de_bello]

I used to lov his stories and all work stories too! Too bad it wasn't reciprocated and he believed those stories were me "hanging on to the past" WTF?! So confused and he eventually left! I'm way better off alone now!

[@edidpro]

This podcast segment explains why he's successful.

[@phataton8206]

Edward Bernard agree

[@primeevantv6487]

agree as well, very entertaining.

[@Chris-hw4mq]

He is smart just acts like stupid for comedy

[@JoyfulUniter]

@@Chris-hw4mq Yeah, I've even heard him say stuff like "I've gotta get back into meditating" Don't know who someone is till you ask em, relatively speaking, anyway.

[@seanmatthewking]

Why because he eats so many bills and fines that he just has to make bank to live comfortably at all ? Lol

[@LaParka420]

"IM GLAD YA CALLED THERES WATER POURING IN"

[@Scorch428]

They just want to clean the room. Youd think after asking twice, theyd get that youre staying in, tho...

[@OneEyedJackNLD]

10:48 😂

[@donwolfberg8419]

she loves him

[@piGfuK3r]

Don Wolfberg he's brilliant, hilarious, and successful. She's a smart girl.

[@AtlasMvm]

+ALBERRO shes honestly really cool from what I've heard on the podcast

[@sethfyou4750]

She hamsters hard just like any other girl....you can see it in other podcasts...awalt

[@jpqt]

Seth Fyou

[@jameswhitehorn6432]

Don Wolfberg yeah he’s paying all her bills, what’s not to love!

[@yabadabadue7889]

"Are we 8 years old or ARE WE 8 YEARS OLD?" LOL

[@manceypants5974]

Got the time stamp for this quote?

[@m.czandogg9576]

@@manceypants5974 It's at 21:00 ish

[@alZiiHardstylez]

Haha, great bit

[@alZiiHardstylez]

@@manceypants5974 Start from 20:00, great bit.

[@Ravenkiko]

here's real relationship goals.

[@WorldMotivision]

Thank you !!!

[@sabrinasolomon6387]

💯

[@shinystuffff]

I fucking laughed SO GODDAMN hard when he said how many frequent flyer miles he has. 824,000 miles. That's enough to go around the earth 33 times. Hahahaha he's been flying for YEARS.

[@KarbineKyle]

That's enough to get you to The Moon and back almost twice! LOL!

[@ternes35yolo]

KarbineKyle over twice

[@texaswhitley]

a frequent flyer mile is a measure of money not actual distance a mile is like a penny

[@hulkorianbivolaru3195]

so by your calculations, with 824,000 miles you can get just a 824$ ticket? you are very wrong weird internet person

[@RoseColoredIris]

$8,240 ticket. Cuz math.

[@individuationportal]

Whenever I hear how Nia laughs at Bill’s rants, it really warms my heart

[@theXdarkXtreeXburns]

I just keep thinking: BILL just pay someone $50 to handle the phone call and get off the hook!

[@akshayrathore2882]

I dont think you would trust another person with that

[@Blaze0647]

That's a terrible idea.. you'd have to divulge some personal information to that person, at the very least, the last 4 of your social.

[@Kickex]

akshay rathore Least of all Bill.

[@Addicti0nz1]

Heck id do it for free for bill!!

[@daniellane3403]

Bill has trust issues. Lol but he's right. I'm the same way its a cold world. They make it as hard as possible.

[@chipity]

The Bill x Nia banter is definitely a net positive on my mental health, thank you!

[@michaelfodor9426]

After some research a frequent flyer mile can be worth $00.01 to $00.06. Bill says he has around 800,000. That means the total worth of the miles is somewhere between $8,000 and $48,000.

[@homerdomincus5378]

"i am not gonna get upset" ;-D

[@rogerwilco1777]

Im glad Bill takes care of Nia. They are the cutest of couples

[@Dr._Love]

I lost it when he said first goldfish's name. So hilarious

[@shutout951]

It's rather poetic that "not checking out" is the story of Bill's life.

[@mchorchos]

Good name for the memoir too!

[@jeffreybuffkin9108]

New finance goal: be rich enough to tell my wife I wasted $1200 because I was drunk, and she LAUGH about it

[@theprimonemo]

spent over 7200$ on a cellphone he doesn't have. god dammit how does that not piss him off more then customer service

[@presde34]

shows you how shitty customer service is. He would rather pay $7200 to not deal with them

[@calebmauer1751]

Yeah, Comcast is the number one offender of this shit. They do not want you to cancel. You tell them your moving and they want to know where and try to sell you on it. "Look, I'm moving to Antarctica to run a penguin farm. There aren't any cables." "Oh, do you want to try out XFinity TV services?" "Go fuck yourself." "Sir, I don't have to listen to this kind of language. You'll get your normal bill next month." Click.

[@xxChacaronXX]

8:28

[@wowthatsawesome2762]

Cause he’s a multimillionaire

[@HendersonHinchfinch]

That was my thought. Seems very unlike Bill.

[@tomeboaventura9054]

Wow, Bill is such a fucking hard-worker. Massive respect for the Ol'Bill Baker.

[@deathzero0212]

Companies count on this kinda attitude, they make a ton of money from situations like this. As much as it sucks, we really gotta deal with it and cancel whenever necessary. Otherwise we are just handing them our cash for them providing nothing.

[@andrewptob]

That and bullshit fees. People will see whatever fee and rather than fight it or get it taken care of, they’ll just say whatever especially because they’re usually on the smaller side. Billions of dollars are made that way

[@conorobrien1025]

you should listen to the Louis CK bit on the Opie & Anthony show about the gym. Some big gym company called Excellsior or some shit steals the former clients of whatever gym they're buying and charges them for as long as they can

[@guitrplayer4life]

@@conorobrien1025 Do you have a link to that? Im very interested to hear this

[@jazaniac]

It should be illegal. The number of children and old people they get with this is insane.

[@HittokiriBatosai]

@@conorobrien1025 Same thing happened with Bill and Bally Total Fitness (there's a throwback name). He couldn't get them to stop charging his credit card so he eventually had to cancel that fucking CC. Think he talked about it on Uninformed.

[@manceypants5974]

20:40 “I mean are eight years old? OR ARE WE EIGHT YEARS OLD?!” GOAT moment

[@nickelcityrider5431]

How's the room? Great! The bed is on the the ground. Hahahahaagah omg I was crying.

[@IntensePeppers]

I'm glad you called! There's water pouring in, I didn't know what to do!

[@Scorch428]

THANK GOD YOURE HERE! THERES WATER POURING IN!

[@totalbliss1]

Whole point of the podcast: Bill needs a secretary.

[@AK907guy]

Bill and Nia's relationship is beautiful

[@slavebodybuilder]

This is one of Bill's funniest podcast excerpts.

[@primrosec.2045]

I loved hearing Bill's hustle story . Super inspirational ⭐️⭐️⭐️

[@williampatterson1795]

how did I miss this podcast all this time?

[@thesevillashoweveryone5314]

You guys are soulmates. You are perfect for each other. Its amazing listening to you two.

[@BrendanBrown1]

I swear, Bill and Nia have one of the most natural, tight-knit relationships i've ever seen. There's never any awkward pauses or reaching down to the bottom of the barrel to find something to fill airtime.

[@carlhartwell7978]

10:54 'I'm glad you called, there's water pouring in...!' I died

[@fabianrogers8857]

This podcast really warmed me up because of the vibes I could hear through it. I want that sometime after I get my shit together...

[@ATriangleThatIsRound]

Fabian Rogers Good luck dude

[@hoodyhoo1004]

I feel this comment on a very personal level

[@gannibalof21st]

And they say guys can't be supportive of each other without bashing the other gender. Kudos.

[@rvorias]

I definitely relate. I hope you’ve made some progress since this comment

[@jamesbell7246]

I think she helped him get his shit together! No one is fully cooked when they meet their partner. I'm 13 years into a relationship with two kids and still working things out ;) enjoy the journey

[@WishGR4NTed]

from the second half of this video you can really tell that nia is head over heels for bill and bill just loves it

[@MrSupermanbe]

Grant Henderson forget how beautiful they are, be with someone who adores and appreciates you so you don’t spend you life trying to impress her and chasing her.

[@sergiodelburquevelasquez5666]

Best fuckin podcast ever.

[@avereg_guy]

Bill always steps up his game when Nia's around.

[@TheNewRobin30]

Sergio Velasquez You misspelled EVAAAAAAA

[@sasharoberts5708]

Robin Bat thhhmkjknnbv. Mmmmhb

[@Dexroid]

"Oh boy am I glad you called! There's water pouring inna room!" My God.

[@TheBehm08]

It’s so adorable when she giggles and laughs at everything he says. That’s love 💕

[@christianchavez6949]

Bill: I'm not gonna get mad Bill: *Gets mad*

[@ethanmilford]

This is easily one of the best moments on the podcast. Love Billy boy and Nia

[@JackAsh2081]

The rental car story is so good. “I BROUGHT IT BACK, HWOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER?!?!”

[@jjh8367]

Nina Impersonating Bill while dying of laughter gives me life

[@Del2921]

“ i’m glad you called the water is pouring in” 😂🤣

[@pseudonayme7717]

"Watch a Trump rally. You're not part of it!" lmao :)

[@temimakinde2377]

Lmao that had to be the best line!

[@leslie6119]

Awh I love Bill and Nia. So cute.

[@tjpoe9466]

Bills next special should be "Not Checking Out"

[@michaelsproule32]

Bill Burr for President with his lovely First Lady Nia.

[@chickenmonger123]

Shooter Mcgavin Don’t wish that shit on him! What kind of monster wants to put Bill in that fucking position. One of three options. He dies. Goes apoplectic, or just flat out kills himself. He goes an a fucking rampage and kills a bunch of our leaders because they are literally the fucking worst people to have the jobs that they have. Or third he starts WW3 because he looks at all of it, and decides God made a mistake. Don’t you put that on him!

[@mos3]

Don’t you mean First Laaaaaaaydeeeeee

[@husambasemah1392]

@@mos3 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@KB-nz6bv]

@@mos3 lmao

[@ElkinsEric]

He’d definitely start sinking cruise ships then. Up periscope!

[@Conn30Mtenor]

They sound like they fight often but laugh together a lot more. I wish I had that kind of relationship. She's genuinely funny herself. That helps.

[@nam6128]

Bill and Nia is the only couple that doesn't disgust me or make me seethe with jealousy

[@shawnishere1494]

"I believe you guys say 'You played yaself''" 19:42 lmao bill is a cool as white dude

[@paxtown71]

the _Inevitabl shit had me rolling. What do the colored folk say. Is basically what he asked

[@abdiaziizhaydar3527]

This is the best podcasts ever.. imagine having a woman who enjoys listening to what u say....

[@KyleMacSkill]

Shit that’s sad bro

[@maxgeorge_music]

Right? Most women don’t give a fuck. They just want to talk about themselves

[@mika4269]

@@maxgeorge_music i think women dont like listening to you because you say shit like that lmfao

[@debdee9663]

I love these two. 💕

[@sethk550]

I mean it probably helps that Bill is literally one of the most successful professional comedians in the world but still I get what you're saying

[@AlecArtComics]

"ARE WE EIGHT YEARS OLD OR ARE WE EIGHT YEARS OLD?!" lmfao!

[@prosper7368]

I respect Bills work ethic. Work hard and do what you want

[@philwright2480]

I just discovered Bill's podcast about a year ago when the pandemic started, before then, I had only heard his standup a few times so I knew he was very funny, but these podcasts are gold and Bill has become of my favorites, as for Nia, how could you not love her, as the saying goes, " she's the whole package " Beautiful, Smart, Funny, and seems to be a great partner for Bill, she gets him. They are hilarious together.

[@iam.damian]

I knew that my GF from S Africa was a good match for me when I discovered she likes Bill & Nia

[@one5643]

I also discovered him at the beginning of the pandemic. Was reccommended his conspiracy theories video on youtube and then it all went from there. Wish I had discovered the podcast years before

[@reyestorres6496]

You know you are with a good woman when she wants to help you save your hard earned money instead of blowing it without thinking. Shout out to Nia. You are awesome woman. :) Bill i have been listening to you for a few years. KZbin recommended and im glad for it. You are hilarious. God bless you and nia.

[@triggaj4y]

reyes torres well the more she stops him from wasting the more she will get to spend

[@813lynch4]

Nia cracking up is hilarious

[@dannyd1098]

Bill's approach to money is so relatable to me on this one. The struggle to go thru all those hoops for deals is real.

[@Zach-qs2bw]

As someone who has a speech impediment I can relate to bills mindset there's nothing I loathe more than dealing with customer service I avoid it at all cost ;)

[@willwillisproductions159]

Same here man

[@randomname4726]

Same here because of anxiety. Phone calls are the worst.

[@joshuablack8221]

I definitely understand what Bill is saying here. As a social worker in Chicago I'm not swimming in money either, but I hate dealing with such goofy stuff to supposedly save a few bucks. I do that in my own.

[@nillabeany]

Its been 3 years so I don't know if its different, but as a social worker in Chicago, you deserve a lot more fucking money.

[@unreal513]

As a hotel worker, it is hilarious that Bill does this. And yes, we will figure it out.

[@matthewheywood8532]

Most hotels you can literally checkout from the tv nowadays and as a frequent traveler bill should know that

[@bayuaji7299]

@@matthewheywood8532 with advance development of website on UI and UX bill still losing his pants, what do u think he gonna do checking out through shitty UI on tv lmao.

[@haraldisdead]

"I believe you guys say 'you played yourself.'" 😂😂😂

[@iLL-Literate]

Dude, can you pay my phone bills courtesy of the "Bill Doesn't Give a Fuck Fund"?

[@kamleshsundaram8493]

they have great chemistry

[@optophobe]

One of the most entertaining podcasts I've heard. Bill and Nia are so awesome together.

[@coldsake07]

I absoluteley love listening to bill and nia laughing with eachother

[@errorinn8834]

Man, hearing bill talk about earning money as a kid and rushing to store for topps cards made me smile the whole rest of the video. I imagined him looking like the kid from the creep show movie.

[@petergrobel7138]

“I know more than you” -Ron Swanson to Lowe’s employee

[@73THUNDERDOME73]

Bill: “I can go to Denny’s and sit down like a gentleman.” Theo Von: *suprised pikachu face*

[@axelblaze566]

This guy has made his sacrifices to reach the position he is in now. No one can judge him for wasting a bit of money if it saves him the trouble.

[@speakdino10]

I can certainly judge him for wasting $50/month for over a decade because he doesn't want to deal with cancelling the number :P companies intentionally make their cancellation hard in order to get free money. People like this make companies continue this abusive tactic.

[@philorgneopolotin8762]

Speakdino so then why’re you judging him or complaining about it? It’s the exact same thing for gyms. They can offer such insanely low prices, especially places like planet fitness, because they get people to sign up and then never cancel. As long as you’re actually using your membership, these lazy people are making your life easier and letting you pay lower prices than what you’d otherwise have to pay. If anything you should be thanking these people for being so lazy that you end up better off. Doesn’t hurt anybody besides themselves.

[@sethk550]

@@philorgneopolotin8762 Damn, that's a good perspective on it

[@muraveqt]

This subject/Nialogue is truly amazing!! Perfect example of Burr's Genius way to express the worst thoughts with the best words.. (bow)

[@bluecoture042]

I loved her laugh It grows on you

[@thecryptoclub3555]

I can honestly say I have watched this over 10 times. This is my funniest Bill and Nia bit!!

[@justinschnoor9459]

I think everyone needs a "Nia" in their life.

[@wildazcat25]

I gottaa say, it is pretty adorable thinking about lil gingerhead man riding his bike up to the store asking sheepishly about when his precious TOPPS football cards were gonna be in!!! Love that story every time I hear it:) enterprising lil BB!!hehe

[@Michael-sz4he]

This is just beautiful. They have a beautiful relationship. You earned it Bill.

[@fccty1]

Even little Bill sounds like an old man, love it!

[@kenneth9607]

She's got the greatest laugh ! 😃

[@ceroenblanco]

I want someone like Nia in my life ♥

[@altheaosborn2648]

People always hate on Nia and ask why he married her....I feel like this right here is why. She thinks he's hilarious, she is his biggest fan. ❤️

[@threadtapwhisperer5136]

Man, Bill and Nia are very clealry meant for each other. Also, I dont have free spending money, still agree 100% with Bill's feelings towards customer service.

[@beterbutz]

Billy should name his next tour "The Ballers tour" and just wear sunglasses, gold chains and a celtics jersey at every gig.

[@ktc333]

"Rosetta stoned" - brilliant.

[@robrobert9541]

'Fess up, Bill - you have another Nia somewhere and you're double-dippin'. Hilarious shit.

[@itisWhatitis12345]

Holy shit My respect for Bill just fucking went off the roof. Dude's been working all his life and he didn't have anything handed over to him. Imagine being 8 years old and having the dicipline to do the paper route everyday till high school and then job after job. That's how he got so much real world perspective and got to where he is at. He has fucking worked really hard all his life. I've done nothing man compared to him. Lazing around in college smoking weed. Man fuck this shit what the hell am i doing with my life. Fuck this.

[@mrfalconpuch123]

Anunay Sinha good for you lad, it’s been a week, any progress?

[@EnglishTimewithMrChris]

I'm 37 and I feel like I've never not been working. I started assisting with teaching swim lessons as my first job as soon as I was old enough to start legally working. My family had a similar level of income as most of my friends families, but I was kind of the only one of my friends that was working. A few of my friends definitely didn't have their first job until after they had graduated university. My family was definitely the type where once you hit the age to be able to work you had to find a job and if you were out of work they would send me out to apply to different places and tell me that you can come back when you've lined up an interview. I feel like Bill Burr has a pretty good work ethic since he basically treats the podcast like a job and makes sure it always gets done.

[@314cstaff]

Hahahahaha I should not be laughing this hard at Bill ranting. Yo I'm in real tears 🤣

[@michelrosier468]

Love this discussion between them. She pissed herself as Bill made his point across. Love it

[@willbrogan2284]

“I look like Malcolm Young on the Powerage Tour” is the greatest line I’ve ever heard!

[@rock3tcatU233]

Billy is almost living off the grid.

[@mrfalconpuch123]

Judging by your name, so are you.

[@anaszakiri]

@@mrfalconpuch123 You ignorant fuck

[@thragg00]

Anas Zakiri sack of shit

[@daniellane3403]

@@anaszakiri Sorry about that. Forgive him his ignorance.

[@Pokemonmaster32925]

Anas Zakiri I know this comment is old but like... to be fair it is a unusual language I don’t even know what it is...

[@will3kgt]

Every kid should listen to this.

[@BofaDeez77781]

Bill’s work ethic is beyond amazing, I really respect that

[@robincb]

I dearly want to have a relationship like this, they clearly love each other, hes rough,eccentric and opinionated. She's strong, also opinionated and caring. Even when they dosagree heavily they still love each other and dont attack each other. Looks like their relationship is very good

[@Asi_de_bello]

Most of us are looking..... ; )

[@Phenom98]

@@Asi_de_bello ... What?

[@redscarf20]

Bill is awesome.

[@sladebrannon6917]

Hilarious and heart warming. I love hearing these two together.

[@gabidyplayz]

Love that I stumbled on this. Every sec was great!

[@WiseAilbhean]

I totally get the customer service process aggravation. I can't tell how many times, I call the number I am suppose to call, and you explain the situation, and then they said they aren't the one to handle this, and to call or transfer me to someone else and then I have to go over the whole spiel again!

[@herculesrockefeller2984]

Yep, car insurance does that to me all the time.. "Whats your name, whats your birth date, whats your social, whats the vin #.., oh I can't help you with that let me transfer you.. "hello whats your name, whats your b-date, whats your..."

[@adwelphinehas]

The problem is the call center management and training. Most call centers are measured on their "average handle time". Between general laziness (factoring this truth in) and the fact that the management team makes AHT a deciding factor to decide someones employment, the second that worker finds a legitimate reason to transfer you, youre gone. Its shitty, but true.

[@briggsb1]

OMG Nia! LMAO Never leave yourself alone with your thoughts.

[@Lola-di8fq]

I'm like Bill, just to avoid people and aggravation I've thrown money out the window.

[@mrheatibmor]

Same, I think its a fair trade sometimes... “Keep the money, I’ll keep my sanity and composure.”

[@dru8034]

Bill is good for the economy

[@BarryBollox.]

I am guilty as well

[@richibonilla8927]

I do the same with returns. If it cost me less than a $100 then I usually just take the loss

[@Lars_Paulsen]

Thank you Bill for informing me I could just walk out of the hotel without checking out. It's gonna be so much fun from now on :)