Theo Von and Joey Diaz Talk Partying, Escorts, and Close Calls

Excerpt from This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #508 | Joey Diaz
Full Episode: • Joey Diaz | This Past ...
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#TheoVon #JoeyDiaz #ThisPastWeekend #TheChurchofWhatsHappeningNow #TheoVonClips #Comedy #Podcast

[@cagriyuksel6448]

“Thats how I quit smoking cigarettes, I bought an 8 Ball” is the most Joey phrase ever

[@RawOlympia]

😅🤣😂

[@goktug4618]

Bunu anca Joey söylerdi zaten 😂

[@drivendown84]

“Putting on an apron to seem like an organized guy” 🤣🤣🤣 … I’ve been there!! lol

[@Rob_Mike_Litterst]

word... everytime i'm cooking pies or a cake and am trying to avoid jacking the whole deal

[@oZZy_WhItE]

It's 330 at night and this guy is a fucking chef!!

[@potterj09]

Jesse ... we need to cake.

[@822737292]

Joey Diaz has to be the only man alive to use an 8 ball of coke, in order to quit smoking cigarettes 😂 legend

[@mikoajchmielinski8552]

Ayyyyyo that reminded me of smth. Im a Joey fanatic so i’ll give you guys a great one - Church of What’s Happening Now podcast episode 285 with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer, whole episode is great, it’s one of my favourite, but the part about him smoking cigs at the concert (i think that story begins somewhere round 18:00-20:00 minute mark) is absolutely bonkers😂

[@drvgdeala]

id be smoking so many iif i was on coke

[@FoolintheRainSDMF]

Same! Quit smokin cigarettes on coke?! No I wanted a fuckin carton of cigarettes to go with my 8balls lol 😂 ​@@drvgdeala

[@tobe1207]

Bert has a great ep on the early JRE eps. And it's odd to see back when Joe respected him lol. Plus they mention that Daniel Tosh was biggest comedian and had 6mil Twitter followers and K Hart was just starting to get a buzz...weird how things changed so much

[@neoxyte]

I've used meth to get off crack. Haha. Turns out, substitution isn't the way to go.

[@DNA_-dh2rs]

" They don't care, as long as you pay them " 😂 😂 😂

[@JacobRubioJunior669]

Lmao 🤣🤣

[@johnmcdaid7975]

Very true 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@westcst2k7]

Easy day for the hooker

[@toobsteak]

No one does. Imagine having a contracted job, and you show up, and they hand you all the money agreed upon and say, "hey nevermind, here's the money."

[@pHilL1008]

"yeah. so yeah, no i always paid but uhm.." 🤣

[@SamNLanger]

Bru that bit about steam coming off Joey at the airport had me rollin' at 5:00

[@rukus9585]

me too, brew.

[@Will_uziii]

😂 naw fr cus that body temp be 2X hotter and head be on fire especially after 3 days

[@s.k.mcduffie6475]

Yesssssir lol memories

[@nicolehecker3216]

Hilarious!!!!!

[@Mohow-fv2vq]

Had a bad coke addiction 10 years ago was the worst time in my life but also the most adventurous.

[@ZZ_Trop]

I hear ya. I only did coke once... for three years straight 😂.

[@henrique83747]

Kinda feel you. I was never an addicted, but when I used to do drugs, going to festivals, parties and other crazy shit… it was so much fun, my life is super stable now, which is good. But sometimes it feels boring lol

[@Mohow-fv2vq]

@@henrique83747 yeah sometimes I reminisce about the past. But yeah my life is much much better now. Boring but better

[@stephenlamley541]

Had a 15 year adventure injecting it the holy grail but it got really grim for me I hit the bottom and never want to go back. You want to know what power feels like me saying no to coke now makes me feel invincible. It really is the most powerful thing in the world controlling our ill desires.

[@andybarrow5407]

It was a lot more exciting

[@Brando-UK]

“I put one of my feet on each pedal because I didn’t want one of my feet making all the decisions” 😂😂😂😂😂

[@scoopsf]

Bruh that shit killed me 😂

[@sdm12342002]

KILLED ME!

[@internationalfix]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@nicolehecker3216]

😅😅😅😅

[@richardliller7679]

Just hoping my feet didn’t hit the pedal and start a new adventure for themselves 😁

[@Spunky072]

It’s a miracle that you guys survived and are sitting across from one another telling these stories!🤦‍♀️😝💯🙏🏻

[@NotSoLiberal]

A miracle for them. A curse for humanity

[@chuckg8138]

Idk why us addicts survive in general. Gotta be a punishment for past lives karma

[@marlisamorgan2]

Joey: "I f'ing OD'd on valium." Theo: "really? You could OD on the sunset there, it's beautiful area." Love these guys! They're crazy as hell!! 🤣😂😅

[@jetpark3743]

Only people like that can do it, not normal people

[@longgreasy1595]

Beaumont is actually a total shithole.

[@gabe7763]

“Fuck I’m lonely” I felt that lol

[@Billsbillsbillsbills]

6:55

[@WadeKessels]

Word.

[@InfoWarsTexas]

It really hurts to reminisce about getting ass 😔

[@jameshill8493]

Bruh I was that way too. I decided to actually make an effort to do better and try and be social and talk to people in real life. Got a girlfriend in 3 months

[@rileyontheroad]

@@jameshill8493as a black dude?

[@juangonzalez-gv7yo]

Walking around with a 🕯️ and 🪞 had my dying😂

[@drvgdeala]

LMAO ME TO

[@Grinderflow]

Me*

[@QuietDriver97]

The way Joey's eyes lit up on that "Really?" is so genuinely warm.

[@nooneofimportantconsequenc5031]

Right? Lol it was so wholesome 😊

[@mikem4314]

put a huge smile on my face

[@stevegon331]

“Getting high and not getting anywhere.” 😅💯

[@Bellaa4578]

This lol. I don’t do drugs but it’s like what do you really get after?

[@riccardomacedo2898]

True wisdom!

[@nemsimic]

This is always the final stage

[@YouArentSlick]

Joey looks healthy af

[@JO-ee5dy]

Nah that’s just Ozempic🤣

[@user-ep3bb9fk6n]

For a 60 year old that looks 80, yeah he looks great

[@TheMorbidgoat]

Healthier than before* his body betrays his past depravity

[@bhew7409]

I mean... He looks good for Joey? 😅

[@saml8624]

Gone from looking 60 to 40. Great stuff to see man

[@billiebleach7889]

In the eighties you could smoke on an airplane (here in Europe), as soon as the thing was up in the air you could go to the bar and drink cocktails till you were told you had to get back to your seat for landing. And you just stooped back to the first seat that was free, got in it and waited to touch down and stumbled to the airport bar, drink on and fall asleep on a toilet. Golden years

[@zachinthehat1707]

That sounds fucking awesome

[@Eternal.Salvation100]

you could do that in the states too in the 80s.

[@RawOlympia]

The little ashtrays in the seats! And drinks before landing wile circling!

[@RawOlympia]

@@zachinthehat1707 time machine time for sure ~~

[@hensonlaura]

Flying stand-by once, I was asked to leave first class for business class, because I was wearing jeans, & as a thank you, the hostess gave me a bottle of champagne. I was 14.

[@escher3209]

When Joey tells storys, I can close my eyes and see my whole childhood. Both my parents came from Cuba in the 60s and lived in Spanish Harlem. They were a few years older than Joey....so the stories are so relatable...the era. My father spent alot of time hustling in pool halls in his youth. Bendiciones Joey

[@edwardnigma4087]

“A coke rock fell out my nose and I looked up to the ceiling” is fucking crazy, I’m friggin dying!!!

[@Gmail123ygfed]

LMFAOOO

[@horseclock6454]

Theo and Joey are both right, as a fan of both I can say probably most all of us appreciate how candid you both speak on topics others would consider taboo, that takes a lot of balls, especially when you're both in a position to lose so much, you got my respect.

[@NotSoLiberal]

You're a fan of a drug addict who blackmailed female comedians to perform sexual acts on him and got others into addiction ?

[@ChrisLimitless]

The Way Joey says “really?” At 10:51 😊 He would be the best uncle.

[@rodeleon2875]

i got a million stories like this but mine all occurred 35-40 years ago. i tell people these stories and they look at me sideways and think i am full of shit but they are 100% true.

[@slapskate]

Truth is usually stranger than fiction 😉

[@ronnygibbon]

Same here but even I struggle to believe it. Catching up with old pals and sharing stories from the 90's.🤯

[@ashleybanks-wm4cg]

That's why I stopped arguing with ppl that say Joey makes this stuff up It's no way and with the ease and amount of details he gives you can tell he doesnt embellish and all this stuff happened

[@CarlMiller-ql2wz]

"8 more weeks of 8ball" 😂😂😂😂

[@ericfeldsott-nq8pk]

This is absolute gold- I was literally crying laughing . Joey Diaz and Theo von exchanging cocaine stories had me in tears laughing 😂.

[@MuzTho-u2f]

high on coke? "no i had an half ounce for later incase she didnt wanna go home with me" lmao what a legend that hit home lmao

[@SamNLanger]

This is TREMENDOUS

[@DonRoccoRicardo]

Theo might be the most unique comic ever. His ability to find the joke is incredible. Same with Mark Normand.

[@ChukG-c7l]

Mark Normand is insufferable. Sorry bro.

[@Pedant_Patrol]

You undermined your whole comment with the last sentence, lol.

[@Notypls101]

“You can od on the sunsets there it’s a beautiful area” this is the type of positive thinking I need to make myself do

[@dukeofdevolution6518]

16:18 "WOW" Bruh that had me dying

[@brudi36]

lmaoo i was looking for this comment, i was sure i’m not the only one who watched the „wow“ scene at least five times 😂 fucking hilarious

[@younghumma2323]

Facts 😂😂😂😂 I was rolling

[@el_massperro714]

😭😭😭

[@HardWork_2342]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Ns1ht50]

8 more weeks of 8ball!!😂😂😂

[@rubenbustillos2454]

Lmao

[@drvgdeala]

😂😂😂

[@Mister_8tee7]

An 8ball a day keeps the Slumber away 😂

[@adamisaac4685]

JD is the mutha funkin OG!! Doin rails on the airplane dinner tray with a blanket over your head is straight gangsta!!!

[@donaldmcleod8460]

That “really” from Joey after Theo saying he looked after that lady for a day and a half was pure hearted as you can get!!I had a huge smile after watching that 🙈❤️😂

[@no_prisoners6474]

He was high with that lady. I don’t see the purity there

[@donaldmcleod8460]

@@no_prisoners6474he still looked after her for a day and a half regardless it was good hearted and i was actually saying the “really?” from Joey was a pure hearted “really?”

[@no_prisoners6474]

@@donaldmcleod8460 a ‘really’ from Joey is just not the standard hey

[@no_prisoners6474]

@@donaldmcleod8460 Joey and Rogan laughed really hard as Joey was saying how he used to make the women at comedy restaurants do stuff.

[@donaldmcleod8460]

@@no_prisoners6474For sure Joey wasn’t a saint far from it but he’s not that guy today bud it was just a nice way he said that in my opinion ✌🏼

[@xana7078]

She was telling Von to eff ' her dog... 😂😂😂

[@ashleybanks-wm4cg]

Right 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@kerbygator]

I could never be as honest as these two nuts. lol 😂

[@umberto488]

I think they are lying much of the time, tbf

[@anton0529]

@@umberto488 crazy thing is Joey isnt lying at all. I didnt believe him at first either

[@umberto488]

@@anton0529 he is definitely lying much of the time. What convinced you otherwise?

[@WM-tz1cm]

They ain’t lying, drug addicts get wild stay sober die a lemon

[@_UncleBo_]

LMAO uncle Joey never disappoints man I swear

[@MikeStivicATS]

This is the closest thing ive heard to OLD SCHOOL stern ive heard in a long time. This sounds like something me and my buddies would listen to in the truck on the way to work and laugh our asses off the entire ride.. Ty 😊

[@4thlord]

Joey Diaz feels like an Italian Charles Bukowski to me lmao 😂

[@brandonobrien7239]

Other than the fact that he's Cuban, I think you nailed it.

[@Bellaa4578]

Omg 😂 you’re right!

[@brando7266]

Without the gravitas,

[@coldcrush9]

I don't think Theo understands the level of drugs that Joey Diaz did

[@jyellowhammer]

He is clueless. Theo is a pretender, Joey is a contender.

[@danielcarr6170]

Why was the chick's voice joey impersonated the same damn voice he uses when he's telling stories about lee 🤣🤣🤣 omfg that's so great lol.

[@ashleybanks-wm4cg]

Noticed that too 😂😂😂😂

[@nodaysback1]

I choked on a pretzle and pissed in my shorts and still cudn't stop laughing.. 😂wtfff!

[@skullrose8985]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@spiraloonable]

Another fucking priceless duo, I adore to watch. Thanks for being you guys. You are fucking awesome 💜💪🤣

[@deelite19]

“Nowadays you just sit on a plane like a commie” hahahaha coco killing me

[@bronco4life]

Fricken Joey Diaz comes up with the wildest stories,, LMAO,,.

[@Kamopanda]

That first story was wild about handing the prostitute money through the door several times a night.

[@DerDudelino]

Never gotten into the Escort game. Is the sex so much better? I've always been the guy that goes down the elevator in a hotel, sits next to a hot girl a the hotel bar or some other bar, talks to her for an hour or so and bangs her the whole night, because you gotta enjoy life dude :D But I've also never gotten into cocaine, not my game. Lots of alcohol - bring it on Baby. But drugs, I always chickened out without folks knowing :O)

[@davidvenesky9053]

The new way of quitting smoking. Just buy an 8 ball. LMAO 🤣

[@Nishinga.]

10:52 The “really?” from Joey after Theo talks about taking care of the sick escort is the most wholesome really I’ve ever seen

[@GeorgiaGrowGuy]

I used to carry an alarm clock in my car back then. I never knew where i would end, but i knew if i missed work, i could not afford to do it all over again.

[@Lillia-nu2xt]

Your videos are so chill, always brightens my day

[@DonnieXz]

I would pay to watch a hundred seasons of a series about Theo, joey and Joe Rogan histories. LMFAO 😂

[@iambs11]

100%

[@FJB_2024TRUMP]

Damn!!! Thank you for taking me out of REALITY of life over here for 20 mins!!!! I was reminiscing on all the crazy shit I did when I was younger. I definitely have some stories.

[@daveinmontana7726]

I Love this one !! I was born in 1960 and spent my 20's in the 80's and 30's so this video hits home. The Cocaine situation was insane !!

[@SteelyDanimal]

I’m only 44 but I totally got the Jethro Tull joke. That was my first concert as a kid.

[@user-bf5vi6yg8n]

Thank you for the honesty Theo! Everybody thinks they’re weird but it turns out everybody has their things. Insecurities, vices, skills

[@mrjusthowya1958]

“Fuck I’m lonely” 💀💀😆😆 Theo gets me every time lol

[@carolinehayward6694]

🦉 I remember being so lonely years ago I phoned a prostitute out the phone book and asked if there were any male ones , she said yes after a long pause , three hours later( of pure waiting in terror , )he appeared , looked like a smaller version of my uncle so I paid him £175 for the hour, back then that wasn’t cheap and ended up only talking for 2 hours and sent him on his way , thinking back I’m sure it was her man , loneliness, sad songs and booze can make you do strange shit. 🤦‍♀️ never again. 😊 ✌️

[@RedEyes_95]

real 🫂

[@ledflaplin2001]

Did you put sexy underwear on before he got there?

[@AaronFromGuildford]

That's some real talk. I never imagine women would seek out and pay for confort, like men often do.

[@ledflaplin2001]

@@carolinehayward6694 what would you have done if he pulled out his giant dong?

[@ledflaplin2001]

@@carolinehayward6694 what if pulled out his huge member ready to shag?

[@bringuptheWolfsHead]

fellas, I've gotta do a little time starting Wednesday morning...when I say a little, I do mean a little....a few weeks in county...thing is I'm around Theo's age and I haven't been in trouble since the early oughts....it's more annoying & maddening than anything else but thank you...this has helped me....

[@stickd34th]

Stay strong bud, you'll be out in no time

[@nataliaalfonso2662]

What did you do?

[@jyellowhammer]

Focus on nothing but positive shit while you’re in there. Read some books. Make the most out of your stay!

[@ledflaplin2001]

Pull on your taffy in the shower everyday. Assert dominance

[@bringuptheWolfsHead]

sup brosefs... I'm back from my recent nightmare and started breathing fresh air in freedom once again....if I told you guys the reasons why I had to do these past 30 days, well, I wouldn't be surprised if after hearing my story not one of you guys would believe how and why I was made to cop a plea instead of risking way more time away considering how NASSAU COUNTY has a 97% conviction rate when going against them in a fuckin trial... appreciate the vibes and well wishes.... nothing as gorgeous as being able to do little things we usually take for granted

[@Scorpiobw]

Uncle Joey locking slim and trim.

[@DMort22]

Like a docta

[@rossow88]

Can't have times like that now, everybody has a high quality camera in their pocket and the means to share videos immediately.

[@SpacePope420]

Fine by me. Upload me pounding you out bitch i aint shy.

[@niks9652]

You still can not give a fuck

[@Roosters-rants1977]

Yup. I'm so glad I was a maniac junky before the internet and cellphones got big. I'd hate to have my stuff on video

[@Soloflavor]

youd be surprised

[@wakonazcaguerrillacallejera]

Thanks KZbin for recommending me this on Friday 😂. Getting ready for that bolsita time tonight Lol

[@Domn879]

13:20 I think many of us feel this way. Baffled that we are still alive/still whole and not in jail considering all the wreckless sh1t we did when younger. We all know people who had less luck.

[@NicholasPierce-k6o]

"They don't care, long as you pay them" 😭😭

[@notadamcrosby]

i was a driver for an escort... these stories are so common its insane...

[@juanitomartinez4279]

dawg you were a pimp!

[@notadamcrosby]

@@juanitomartinez4279 naw. we both worked for a madam that we never met. she ran the online ads. we ran the logisitics.

[@figurefiguras4104]

​@@juanitomartinez4279 lmaoo

[@ericgreen6540]

Joey kills no matter where he is 🤣🤣😂

[@spencergill1890]

We love Joey and Theo so much. International treasures and national treasures, both legends. ❤❤

[@survivethis1wow]

8 more weeks of 8ball LMFAOOOOO that groundhog day joke was hillarious

[@HSCS98]

It’s 3:30 and this guys a f chef 🤣🤣🤣

[@tdedition2219]

this interview cant get more Pisces energyy in itt😂😂😂

[@chasegordon2120]

Drugs. Lord help us all. It’s amazing any of us live through it

[@jyellowhammer]

No shit bro, I think back on how hard me and my Podnuh’s used to roll and there is no way I could even think about doing that these days. Good times.

[@Certified_Art_Teacher]

“Wow!” (Continues watching basketball) That took me out!!! 🤣🤣🤣

[@tjbickhart3998]

The “Wow” from Joey at the end sent me😭

[@D-Fens_1632]

Just earlier I was shaking my head thinking about a guy I met in the drug underworld and some of the situations you find yourself in with those people. Stranger than fiction.

[@jyellowhammer]

Can’t make that kind of shit up!! Lol

[@expendable4h002]

“Getting high and not getting anywhere.” - Facts

[@borlan100]

I love Joey, his stories always make me laugh.

[@biggoathorns]

“Like Punxsutawney Phil” 😂 Theo is too much 5:48

[@jonathancarroll1283]

“Underground Railroad” LMFAO!🤣

[@NotSoLiberal]

best anti-addiction PSA I've seen in a while

[@jacknapyer]

10:52 that’s the most tender “really” ever ha ha ha

[@adrenalinejunkie4320]

oh man that was hilarious!! pulled out some serious laughing! thanx!

[@erokbrewmeister9231]

This was the funniest vid I have seen in a LONG time ! JD you da man !

[@brysant_]

I could listen to Joey tell stories all day haha

[@Shdjdjxbdksk]

“What a loser” 😂😂😂. Can relate to what both of them are saying. Sad but funny 😂.

[@fhaquuu]

Ok I’m Subscribed Theo. Omg Joey is funny AF right now. On fire 🔥 Amazing

[@tripleh8472]

That's an underground railroad...Theo is a beast 😅

[@Green_Gold]

I was too nervous to let one of my feet make all the decisions is the most Theo thing ever

[@TreasureLA99]

Nah the water and candle and sister and mom LMFAO 😂 I can’t breathe 😭😭😭

[@charvel111]

Jethro Tull line was hilarious 😂

[@idontedit7375]

Joey Diaz is a walking advertisement for CPAPs 😂

[@jeffreydavis4844]

its crazy how accurate theses stories are

[@vaserve2994]

I listened to this clip twice and laughed all the way through both times 😂

[@CloudyShinobi]

The apron is hilarious, that had me howling

[@ryanjohnston7844]

I could listen to joey all day.

[@Rosco_1]

johnny look at this ..(WOW!!!!)😭😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jenniferspence7092]

9:37 Theo I'm dying 😂😂

[@jammeljackson8778]

The underground railroad was nothing like that sir Theo!!!🤣

[@CannabisVibe]

an apron on! ......Theo lmao ,I damn near spilled my bong bro i laughed so hard love Uncle Joey

[@ChristopherTevnan]

Imagine partying with joey. Joey must have been a beast. Im glad joey is sober and healthy.

[@rangers94cup]

“punxsutawney phil” reference is willlllld 💀

[@monasteryfounder]

Joey hit Johnny with the Lara's butler treatment.

[@HillaryBGoff]

joey diaz funniest guy on the planet

[@yungskitzo661]

The moments they talk about were before cell phones were everything nowadays

[@InfoWarsTexas]

Theo amazing stuff! Two legends!

[@raymondqiu8202]

Dang I'm early. Love you Theo the funniest comedian!!