What You MUST KNOW To Truly Heal The Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style | Becoming Securely Attached

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The Handbook for a Better Life
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In this video, we talk about what you must know to truly heal your fearful avoidant attachment style. We are going to talk about why you are not stuck with your attachment style and how it is possible to reprogram the beliefs that are keeping you from enjoying and deepening your relationships.
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I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel, and thank you for stopping by!
This is a channel designed for you, to be used as a resource to create lasting transformation in your personal and professional life. Here you’ll receive an ongoing series of personal development and spiritual growth videos for you to expand your awareness and find resolution and deep understanding within.
Want to transform your life? If I did it, I know you can too!
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#FearfulAvoidant #BecomingSecurelyAttached #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #PDS #ThaisGibson #AttachmentStyles #ReconditioningPatterns #LimitingBeliefs #CoreWounds #CoreBeliefs #FearfulAvoidantAttachmentStyle
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[@lynette-sowingseedsoflove2424]

This was great! Looking forward to part 2 to help me reframe my mind. Your channel is very helpful!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thanks Lynette!

[@petermilne1203]

This is the crux: how to unlearn old patterns and reprogram the mind. As a FA, I can’t even imagine how to have a relationship that is not terrifying.

[@coldblooded568]

So true!¡!

[@taylordr2005]

What helped me is working on friendships first. Way less complicated. When it comes to romance go slow and lots of physical touch and smelling your partner. Once you get your stress down youll start finding oxytocin and bonding and it will feel weird but then fulfilling. That is what love actually feels like. Sounds funny but until I was almost 40 I never felt that sensation. Best of luck! Its worth the work.

[@suddenlyyours]

7:30 "I know I speak quickly. You can always put this on half the speed." Me listening at 1.5x: 💀

[@musebymelissa8583]

Thais, after watching your videos for quite some time I'm finally feeling like * *I can heal* * and break free from the chains of being FA. Thank you for all that you do for this community 💗 Looking forward to part 2

[@AliValentine143]

It's the best feeling isn't it!? I finally understand my behaviors with consistency and am able to modify my nervous system responses. Feeling more secure, calm, healthy hopeful everyday!

[@lifecoachingtoronto]

One thing I've found is people with an insecure attachment style try to prove their worth in sometimes non obvious ways, such as being very "moralistic". Have any of you noticed this too? :)

[@chitichalamuka3580]

Yes you are very right

[@nellautumngirl]

My partner does this :)

[@loopperson8836]

yuuuup

[@lifecoachingtoronto]

@@nellautumngirl Is that right Ellen? :)

[@winniekirui5487]

Yep.

[@pete69696]

I just want to say that your videos have really helped me deal with finally walking away from my 8yr relationship with an untreated bpd/npd. Thank you very much

[@Canadianforestfairy]

Her course was honestly life changing for me, highly recommend!❤️

[@russride]

Which one?

[@pamelahubert2564]

Looking forward to part two. I often talk about connecting the narrative in my mind to my body - like I KNOW I am worthy of love, but I cannot FEEL it. And I have been working on that for more than 21 days. What am I doing wrong? Thank you for your brilliant work💜

[@skwerl81]

The I am unworthy wound is best reprogrammed on an action level - so basically treating yourself on a day to day basis as completely worthy of love, specialness, boundaries, etc... it also helps to work on other wounds as well and over time they sort of wear each other down as well

[@chrismccaffrey8256]

Hypnosis is phenomenal! Hypnosisdownloads from uncommon knowledge are amazing! They've really helped me reprogram my subconscious from insecure attachment, to secure attachment or at least a LOT more secure until i can buy some more lol.

[@Heyu7her3]

​@@skwerl81 I can feel and do those things for myself, but that isn't going to translate into dealing with others. Especially when one's self-care is often 2X better than what they'd get in relationships. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@janellejoy8243]

Interested in part 2 - I recently was triggered in a new relationship when he wasn't able to say I love you back or give me security of seeing me in his future. Saying I love you first was growth on my part and later when I felt like clinging or running I did try for the first time talking about how I was feeling - so tried to rewrite the script before sabotage. But I do need the steps to reprogram to think securely...

[@winniekirui5487]

Thank you for always going all out in caring for us, Thais. We truly appreciate it. ❤ Yes, the slides help.

[@lifecoachingtoronto]

Thais always hits the nail on the head eh :)

[@nyawiragithae]

Mambo Winnie!

[@chitichalamuka3580]

This came timely I have this core belief of being bad ..so yesterday I disclosed I was once pregnant and had miscarried to a guy and I immediately thought he must think am a low value cause in africa being pregnant out of wedlock is seen as abominable it must be my core wound at work I see thank you.

[@lunkerjunkie]

I can't trust an UN known future I fear betrayal

[@nellautumngirl]

My partner thinks like this too!

[@Achelois7]

Thais I just LOVED both the slide and the video! You definitely should do the part two!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank you for the feedback!

[@christopheryutzy6963]

I've been watching the Dismissive Avoidant series you have been producing. It would be very helpful to see this format geared towards the Dismissive Avoidant attachment.

[@roshalllambert]

Yessss I agree 100% I hate it when people say FAs can’t heal. But apart from that great video!

[@Girltalkwithvictoriaanddonnas]

I agree 100 percent, you get it at the root Thasis!

[@sparrowc4459]

The chart is very helpful, as are all your other videos. Please do part 2 on reconditioning! This video resonated and I feel very encouraged that I can make the changes I want to.

[@MangoOasis97]

13:00 .....doesn't everyone think this way?? or is that just a fearful avoidant thing... i thought this was normal

[@riyajacob2909]

Yes dear Thais, listening at .75 speed and m able to introspect as I 🙉 hear.Much Love 💕

[@paul-marcgreen1311]

My God, your work is good! I'm literally growing.

[@mmag1180]

Thank you for this, Thais. I loved the video and the sildes. Looking forward to part two

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank you for the feedback!

[@elfint9000]

I absolutely love the slides. It gives a lot of necessary details.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Awesome, good to know! Thank you

[@dotfive5six477]

Please help Thais, Your my second favorite girl in the world ❤ my favorite girl is my fearful avoidant ex. I unfortunately waited too long to reach out after our breakup, I believe she shutdown at the 8 week mark, and felt rejected I didn't reach out, we are at like 12 weeks now. Is there anything I can say to get her to open back up? She is not self aware and has no idea about attachment theory. Does your video about how to get an fa ex back still apply ? There has to be a way... thank you for everything you do

[@dotfive5six477]

Please answer this 😞

[@saaiHarish07]

How is it now ?

[@aqsi19]

This video is essential! And looking forward to knowing how to recondition🙏🏽

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Glad you liked this one!

[@prayingmantis5435]

Thank you, Thais. That was extremely helpful.

[@MaijaSequeira90]

Ohh from 6:20 you got me good. I was just thinking "I don't think I'm bad" - and then everything you followed up with made so much sense it hurt.

[@superdupeninja8149]

Are you doing one for the Anxious Preoccupied attachment?

[@tulip5210]

Off topic but your eyebrows are on fleek

[@janamerten6592]

This is really good, keep 'em coming! Thanks so much for your work! 💖🙏💖

[@joyasydulcescoronado1673]

Thank you so much. Slides help a lot to understand and process all the information that you provide.

[@ShimmerSoulSong]

Thank you for all your awareness and teachings. You are so thorough and give us hope for what's possible. I watch as many of your videos that I can so I can absorb it. I know there's more inner and relational work to do.

[@swarovskikris1]

This is absolute gold and right on time!! Thank you ❤

[@camplucastein]

Visuals were really helpful

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Glad you liked them :)

[@cassybeauti]

Thais! Bless you for doing this🫶🏽 soooo sooo helpful and reassuring!!!!

[@DrPatrickKingsep]

To understand our own personal attachment style is so important as we navigate relationships with others. I wonder if people here have learnt about their attachment style for the first time and made changes in their lives as a result?

[@senorachampagne3991]

We love long videos! Lol

[@kamrynwitherspoon5256]

the slides are an incredible tool!

[@bernadettemeade7259]

Thais, is there a Part 2 please?

[@samanthasavarese7631]

Slides from time to time are really helpful 😊 thank you!

[@GracyesGardenLLC]

Please can I have the link to part 2

[@brightside119]

Wow! This is incredible! Thank you!

[@PerrySkyePhoenix]

So basically, we need to reprogram our subconscious mind in order to heal, and this video is an advertisement for your services. 👍

[@jamirx9]

Thanks for this- I like having the visual of the slides!

[@canelinhaoslo]

Thank you so much for creating these videos Thais! I don't know if you or your team or anyone else in the comments can give me input on this: I have been in a wonderful relationship with a man for a few months, I was and he was as well pretty certain that this was "it" for us both. Yet he has some patterns that pops up - to me out of the blue - but now I understand they often come when he starts getting afraid that I will abandon him. I care about him deeply. I do prefer of course his cuter and more boring sides. I am afraid that this "persona" that comes out when he is stressed/fears abandonment will get worse or more, the longer we are together. He is 38 years old and has never gone to therapy. What are the odds for this being possible to heal for him? I would deem myself securely attached leaning either dismissive or anxious when stressed, and him probably fearful avoidant with stronger dismissive and anxious patterns than I think that I have.

[@katrinamcalpine7189]

Hi there! Can you please help me out, which video is “part 2” for this video??

[@decimusmeridius88]

Thnx for this vid, great overview, but where is part 2? I can't find it... please follow up with the practical steps to healing

[@Mindsetolympics]

Awesome video! Just wondering do you heal and temporarily close yourself off to dating while doing this?

[@gregoryritchie7852]

Yes, use of slides VERY helpful.

[@JacobCarlson-uq1my]

WOW! Psychology is definitely something I'm interested in& your grip on it is fascinating to me.

[@bitofwizdomb7266]

The very fundamental/very bottom basic aspects of personality starts getting written on the infants blank slate from internalizing feelings safe or not , trust vs mistrust , reliability , and emotional availability (sense of validation ) along with some heredity of some trait aspects that may or may not be fully expressed ( nurture vs nature )

[@jaredvaughan1665]

Studies show hereditary also influences attachment style.

[@skwerl81]

I'd be curious to read more about this, do you have any info?

[@jaredvaughan1665]

@@skwerl81 Read the book "Attached."

[@skwerl81]

@@jaredvaughan1665 eh, I did. Not a huge fan of it, it doesn't even really acknowledge Fearful Avoidant as its own style (which it very much is) :/

[@jaredvaughan1665]

@@skwerl81 I agree with you that FA should have been talked about.

[@elaineypainey]

If there was a love button ❤️

[@phillygyrl34]

I loved this!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Glad you liked this one!

[@leolady8114]

I'm saving this to watch it over & over aaaand over!!!!

[@decemberclouds]

Also looking forward to how to recondition!

[@amirhosseinsheikholeslam7581]

I love your energy. I hope you stay kind and get to receive all the kindness that you put out into the world. :P thanks

[@nedraford5461]

Very good information! I need to work through this. Looking forward to part 2

[@cdmartin20]

Excellent! Slides are a nice addition!

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

I'm not an avoidant I'm more of an invader. But the last person that gave up on me I decided my new mantra is if you're leaving I want you gone.

[@grrlinglasses]

That "mantra" isn't going to change anything. You need to do the work on your anxious attachment style if you want any real change or healing. Stop abandoning yourself and do the work. You are the only constant in your life. When you change, how you relate/interact with others will change. You will also stop being attracted to emotional unavailable people. Loving yourself is giving yourself the gift to show up for yourself.

[@dinner-at-the-diner]

Hi PDS team- are the highlighted beliefs for FA and a differernt attachment would have different ones? or is the whole chart for FA?

[@leolady8114]

Which is the best program to get into for quitting smoking once and for all?

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

Your own program. I decided yesterday was my last day of smoking. I actually hate it now and hate the after effects so once the hate and health worries outweigh the enjoyment you'll quit. Just quit. Don't go to the places where you get the smokes, start chewing on cinnamon gum or something else, if you manage to go several days or weeks of that and you feel like you're really just want to treat yourself go ahead. But don't make it an everyday thing, is the everydayness that kills you.

[@skwerl81]

There is an addiction course in school that might be helpful!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

We have a course called Deconstructing and Overcoming Addictive Behaviours: End the War with Yourself, which would be helpful!

[@ReikiAlternativeHealing]

Yes, love the slides. Gives me a list to work on. Thank you.

[@meeraraj0]

7:30 The subconscious mind Program

[@reenichristilda]

yes

[@libertybelllangdon1701]

I am so thankful for all of these videos it has helped me so much.❤

[@TofuTeo]

Thanks for your content on FA attachment, Thais! They're the best!!

[@Mezzie1957]

So you are a life coach and not a licensed therapist or degree therapist 😂😂😂

[@jonathanfarmer6010]

Thais Gibson is a lifelong student of the mind, with an MA in transpersonal psychology and more than 13 different professional certifications. She currently runs her company, The Personal Development School, and her client-based practice that has helped thousands experience significant life transformations.-from Google. That MA is a Masters Degree Good job showing how brainless you are Karen 👏🏼

[@brookebennett2113]

Dig the slides 😊Thank you

[@LazarusFeels]

i feel I have healed well. I am able to sit with my emotions. I do get triggered, but musch less frequently and much less strongly. I am able to question my stories etc. etc. But at this point, I am feeling tired of dating - there is a lingering sense of "I have done so much work", and I am afraid it will never come to use. I am 34F. What do I do?

[@a6g2b01c]

you put work in, great. dont be upset that you did. thats great if anything. put it to the test now. put yourself out there. you wont know unless you try

[@LazarusFeels]

@@a6g2b01c thanks, always need some motivation! I have been dating on and off over the last some time. Coincidentally, i felt 'tired' again today. Your nudge comes just at the right time. ❣

[@rileypaigemc7018]

Is there a part 2 yet? I can’t find it

[@Waitukubuli]

Thank you for having the slide.

[@aylatorrent1957]

Well, this explains a lot.. thank you!

[@dangfd551]

13:47 these resonate. 90%

[@dinner-at-the-diner]

YES PLEASE use more slides like this in videos

[@xiaoli9210]

❤

[@37goodvibes]

LOVE the slides!

[@Lotuslaful]

❤❤❤

[@Present4]

Add some colour and animations to your slides as you develop your 'look'

[@RenaeJGray]

This is all very true. I’m having a hard time feeling the emotions to even process past this lol

[@Jen-en1gu]

Anyone have the link for part 2?

[@ellie2008ify]

Do you believe what you are saying? You are blinking excessively.