Do These 3 Things To Get Chased When Dating (Anxious Preoccupied) | Anxious Attachment Style

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How a Securely Attached Person Shows Up in Each of the 6 Stages of a Relationship
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In this video, I talk about 3 steps you can take, as an anxious preoccupied, to get chased when dating.
Are you an Anxious Preoccupied who struggles with hot and cold dating experiences? Everything is going great one minute and the next, the other person is pulling away. What do you think triggered those responses from the other person, or more importantly, what indicators do you think you may have missed?
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00:00:00 - Holiday Contest
00:01:05 - Intro
00:02:29 - Step #1: Set Boundaries to Support All 7 Areas of Life
00:06:00 - Step #2: Expressing Your Needs Early On
00:09:26 - 7-Day Free Trial / Master the Stages of Dating Course
00:09:43 - Step #3: Make Sure You Vet
00:10:50 - Conclusion
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I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel, and thank you for stopping by!
This is a channel designed for you, to be used as a resource to create lasting transformation in your personal and professional life. Here you’ll receive an ongoing series of personal development and spiritual growth videos for you to expand your awareness and find resolution and deep understanding within.
Want to transform your life? If I did it, I know you can too!
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#AnxiousAttachmentStyle #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #PDS #AttachmentStyles #BenefitsOfBoundaries #UnmetNeeds
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[@alainpatry]

Open communication, consistency, phone conversations and equal effort. Merely hearing those words feels so good to my AP/secure heart!

[@SwedishTourist]

Same same :)

[@kingdomlifestylemovement]

Me too😁😁😁

[@honeybun0007]

Exactly

[@lifecoachingtoronto]

The APs here can confirm. I think the mindset of an AP is "if I sacrifice my needs for you, I say I do it because I care, which I might as well, and I'm also doing it as deep down I'm hoping I'll get love out of this".

[@512Austingirl]

I really believe that Thais is a pioneer in the attachment/therapy/mental health field and it would be not only a pleasure to learn from her, but also to implement much needed improvement in my relationships.

[@Itscortney]

The personal development school literally is the only reason I know I’m anxious preoccupied. And it’s been a life changer. It’s things I’ve struggled with my entire life. My relationship wouldn’t be here if I didn’t uncover those wounds. And now it’s helping both of us. So winner or not. Thank u

[@JasminaJ13]

I had PDS for three months and went from 15% secure and 35% FA to 54% secure and 15% FA. It has changed my life. Thank you!! 😍 I had to stop my membership as life has become more expensive, but I can only imagine what I could do with a lifetime membership and how much more secure and content I could be. I’m so much happier. To anyone on their journey… keep going!

[@mistypfitzer111]

I grew up, not knowing that traumas were something that needs to be processed, I never knew about "boundaries", or even that there were such a thing as "stages of dating", until I found PDS, in my mid twenties. I now am able to recognize that my parents have unhealed traumas that have manifested as toxic behaviors/traits, & I hope 2 help them see there are healthier ways of living, communicating, & parenting.

[@SwedishTourist]

I once asked a securely attached friend to give me an honest tip about dating. After thinking for a while, he said ”I think it could be helpful for you to ask yourself what ~you~ can contribute with in a relationship.” At the time I didn’t understand what he meant, and I remember asking him if he was giving me critique, I thought maybe he thinks that I don’t do enough for other people. He said he didn’t mean it as critique at all, and then became a little uncomfortable and shy and said he was just talking out his ass and guessing. So I let it go but never stopped wondering what he actually meant. After watching this video I think he meant that I should focus on myself more, and less on the other person. Basically that I should have confidence that I’m valueable by giving other people more of myself! That was really wise of him to know on an intuitive level, considering at that time he was only about 22.

[@josephzsoka874]

lol...sounds like he was saying your selfish and self involved...thats a narcissistic problem.

[@SwedishTourist]

​@@josephzsoka874 Well I definitely do not have narcissistic traits, I would score very low on that sort of test. I care deeply about people and I'm very empathic. Dated a few people with narcissistic traits and that's scary. No. Not narcissistic. However I can be quite self-absorbed when it comes to looking out for my own interests. I dig deep and have a hard time getting out of my thoughts about my own struggles. For example, while I will seek out others' help and advice like anyone else, a lot of times I will still go with what I feel is the right thing for me. This makes sense to myself, but to others, it can appear like ignoring everyone else's advices and entertaining my own whims and feelings, which is the definition of self-absorbed. If that's what he was trying to say, then he was probably onto something but was too scared to explain further. I sort of wish he did, I would've wanted do hear it. We're still close friends after 10 years, visited his this weekend, so I guess I could ask. However I've grown a lot since he said that, and people like me who are very "values heavy" tend to learn how to become more pragmatic and factual with age. I might not get the same answer from him this time around.

[@josephzsoka874]

@@SwedishTourist ...thank you for confirming my original assumption..lol

[@SwedishTourist]

@@josephzsoka874 I’m just writing out my reflection as a response to your comment, where I actively try to figure out if you’re onto something - sorry if you think that’s narcissistic 😂 But being self absorbed at times does not equate being a narc. narcissistic traits are more of an avoidant thing, i’m anxious preoccupied. Anxious preoccupied people tend to adjust and give too much of themselves, and also accepting being treated like shit sometimes. Doesn’t make sense if I was a narcissist… the way you answer me makes me assume you’re closer to a narcissist than i am 😂 🤦‍♀️ I’m being honest

[@housekeepah]

Something I’ve thought about is adapting your pace to theirs. Please enjoy this metpaphor with me: Having AP is like if you are a bicyclist with a race bike, Lycra, full carbon frame, clip in pedals, massive stamina. Dating someone is like going on a bike ride together. They might have a 3-speed step through frame and leisure clothing. Yes you can go fast but you will just loose them, they will feel at worst inferior, if you are lucky they will tell you to slow down. Stay behind them, let them set the pace. If it is too slow for you, fair enough, you can leave, at least you know it was not because you raced ahead (again). When more comfortable, you can test to pick up the pace a little, taking notice if they show signs of fatigue. Also, having sped up a little for a while, you might need to take it easy for a while 😊. See quite useful metaphor yes?

[@Flavor639]

I’m struggling with feeling so weak and pathetic for missing someone who is pushing me away, and who has even lied to me, led me on, and really really hurt me. Because, even with all of that, he’s been there for me, to listen to my fears and seems to really understand, and have compassion and patience. I value that so much, even when I try to give myself compassion and patience. Why can’t I let him go? I’m tired of fighting myself, and feeling so low when I see him going on perfectly fine in life. Totally sucks

[@roselandpetals]

Sorry to hear this. You have to slowly transition to think less of them and more about yourself. This is YOUR time to examine yourself. Remove all vestiges of them from your life, all photos, everything. There's a lot of tools in PDS that can help you.

[@alllscination]

I'm sorry you're going through that pain. Judging from your description I'm going through something very similar with someone; to see on the one hand how someone contributes or at least has at times contributed to ones life in a very special and powerful way and on the other hand to see how the same person keeps pushing one away. It is really hard to accept the futility of the situation because it wasn't just a bad relationship. You wrote that you are tired of fighting yourself, then why don't you stop? You cannot force yourself to get over someone. You cannot force yourself to stop thinking of someone and long for their presence. You cannot force yourself to unlove someone. And why would you want to? Love is a gift, no matter if it is requited or not. If you wan't to stop fighting yourself, embrace yourself, embrace your love for them, embrace your grief, embrace your yearning, embrace your pain, embrace your inner division about the whole situation, embrace your jealousy about seeing him move on so seemingly unfazed. Allow youself to feel everything thats there. Hold on to him as long as you need to and when you're ready you will let go of your own accord on your own time. The way forward is through. I wish you strength!

[@Tutume1111]

I totally understand and going through similar thing.Check out trauma bond.It will help you

[@howtosober]

It sounds like limerence. APs are particularly susceptible to limerence and pseudo-relationships. This channel has some good content on limerence you can check out, but I also highly recommend checking out Heidi Preibe's videos on it which are even more in-depth. Another channel, Crappy Childhood Fairy, has done a whole series of limerence videos. It's helpful to understand that this is something causing dysregulation of your brain and affecting your nervous system. It's not that you "just can't get over" the person with the rational mind. There's a lot of brain chemistry involved. You can break the cycle of ruminating and obsessing with the right tools, and make yourself immune to doing this again. Two things NOT to do: Don't you dare touch those tarot videos!!! And don't go down rabbit holes trying to figure out the other person, their attachment style, why they did what they did, etc. That just sucks you further into the trap. Work on your SELF, heal your SELF, and you'll feel better faster. Any understanding you need of your prior experience will come through your own healing process. Leave it alone for now.

[@jonnablake5108]

@@howtosober You had me at tarot videos and rabbit holes about attachment styles. 🤦‍♀️ I'm relived to finally be back to secure-leaning and dating again.

[@karakol86]

I always end up doing the chasing even after being chased.

[@mvs5868]

My life changed drastically after discovering your channel 2 years ago. No therapist before that could help me with my fears and then when I Discovered your channel, everything started to make sense. I would really appreciate to be able to work on myself with the help of a membership xx

[@ShelbySynesthesia]

As someone with autism and losing my mother young I am very anxious and always struggled. Your content would be a life changer for the long term health of my relationships 🙏

[@CSG1994]

I’ve been following this channel for a year now & it came at the right timing when I met a great guy about 1.5 years ago who seemed so aligned to my values but still something was off.. had I not found you I would have never known we just have different attachment styles, I was able to help an AP friend out with her relationship struggles with a DA boyfriend and their relationship has drastically changed for the better. Thais, you’re a blessing in our lives .. I always wished I knew what was wrong with me and why I could never find healthy love that stayed. Winning this would help me so much as I’m in a power struggle phase with my DA guy, but even if I don’t win, I’m still very grateful for the free content you give out on this channel! Lots of love to you x

[@Mahrimae]

Just another human who hit a wall with menopause and lost her footing, her partner, and her sense of self. Your channel has been so helpful in figuring It all our and get back on track better than when she went in. Thank you.

[@mattchang-]

Im 25, still kinda struggling thru life. I am def an AP, often times getting broken up with just puts me into the ground. I had my struggles with mental health, and was lucky to get out of a dangerous cycle. But then things like heartbreaks trigger that part all over. Obviously, I am trying hard each and every day to improve upon my life, as well as, working on my attachment style in general.

[@laurenjazy2475]

How do you deal with people initially making you feel like they are willing to respect your boundaries and then after the "dating" stage when intimacy grows, they stop doing so? Nice to be chased at the beginning, but sometimes a DA will agree to all of this and then after a few weeks/months, show their inability to follow through. Then there's already been a connection made and it's harder to let go.

[@nickus51]

That right there. The first impression is often great, everything seems to be flowing naturaly. You both agree on boundaries, share same goals, values etc. The only problem, once you get to real emotions and increased intimacy, DAs shut down and push you away. It is so much harder to let go once the attachment forms.

[@jess.chuakong]

I believe a PDS school membership will help keep me accountable in developing my lifelong and new relationships, and most of all the relationship with myself 🙏🏼

[@hollyrohling9014]

40 years old and in the dating scene again. All of this information is so helpful in understanding my attachment style and how to truly date in a healthy way.

[@machellehill]

Last relationship I had went off track very early. When I voiced my boundaries and he kept saying, “boundaries are silly, let’s just go with the flow.” Against my better judgment I went along with it and now I’m the one left behind. Another lesson learned! These videos have helped so much; it’s not too much to expect boundaries to be respected.

[@rich355]

I know this is months old, but I'm sorry you had to go through that. I try my best to respect the boundaries of people and it sucks that more people can't be respectful of that.

[@learnitnow6265]

The same thing happened to me. We met 3 times while he was in my area. The second time we met i asked if we would continue with phone chats when he returned home (long distance). He immediately said my question was a turn off. I was told we should go with the flow also. I immediately knew i couldn’t express myself and let him lead. 10 months later with only texts on a dating app, never any phone calls, he pulled away. That was almost 2 years ago and I haven't moved on. I had deep feelings for him from the beginning and I expected and wanted more with him because all along he implied that was a possibility. He pulled away when everything was going great with us. He never communicated much beside sexting although i often tried to text about other things to show him other sides to who i was as a person. His profile said he valued honesty and authenticity yet I felt it was a challenge to do that being long distance and he wasn't trying to meet me half way with effort and communication. It left me very heartbroken in a way i never expected it would because i felt a deep soul connection and I never got a chance to have that relationship i wanted with him. After a year of no contact he popped up to say hi and disappeared again. I just dont understand. I assumed he was avoidant.

[@GadgetsGearCoffee]

Yup, date 5. I feel even if you frame it to I value consistency and effort (which seem ... BASIC and obvious...) with someone avoidant that'll already trigger them TBH like "too much"

[@43TigerLily]

A friend recommended your channel when I was struggling with a breakup earlier this year. They had a few great recommendations that have been helpful, but your channel especially has been above and beyond with insightful information that has really made a noticeable difference. I find myself consistently grateful for your shares and treasure the wisdom that truly does assist with better understanding and navigating relationships. Thais, you are a gem and so appreciated! Sincerest of thanks to you and the Personal Development School!🙌

[@williamchevalier2224]

my social life has changed in the last year for the better because of your channel. I moved three months ago and am making new friends and acquaintances and am handling rejection well at the same time because of your videos. No therapists or counselor has ever been this resourceful.

[@TheCookieMonsterr22]

I've finally reached a point where I truly want to break the cycle of painful relationships and insecurity. I would love to work on my anxious/FA attachment style, and would really appreciate being able to do this with the guidance and insight from PDS - these videos have already helped so much

[@marlonrolland1514]

A lifetime membership will help me stay consistent throughout my journey of becoming a better person. I have restarted my life now at age 36. I realize now that I have never fully matured as a person who could properly handle a relationship. Being aloof to the signs that my relationship was failing and not having the tool to fix really bothered me. I’m now want to develop a balance a relationship with myself while also knowing how create a healthy relationship with someone else.

[@lutethemage5053]

For once in my life, I’d love to be chased! I always feel like I’m more interested.

[@mukhamadi]

Cannot afford a membership at the moment, but PDS courses helped me a lot in guiding how to practically set my boundaries, and that experience is so liberating and fulfilling. Their content really offers structural support for reprogramming core negative beliefs.

[@joek8486]

I have had a rough time because I got involved with an FA with substance use issues last year who was mean and emotionally abusive especially at a time when I had lost all my family and I am alone. I asked the universe for help and that is when PDS came along. I know that isn't a coincidence. I am sure I am AP and had no idea about attachment styles, that I have no boundaries and probably codependent, didn't develop an identity, know my needs and that I am living in survival patterns and coping strategies. I am sooo ready for a deeper level of healing and self- discovery. The teacher shows up when the student is ready!!! I am excited to be on the PDS growth path to learn about myself and healthy relationships so I can find a loving partner and to be part of a the PDS community.

[@tk9721]

I can not wait to start healing! I know the personal development school would be the best option for me to do that! I am exhausted of being this way! I would love to find some healthy relief

[@lauraschleifer4721]

Hi, Thais. :-) So I'm commenting here to let you know how life-altering PDS and your videos have been for me so far, and to be considered for the lifetime or other membership prizes. As of 3 years ago, I was extremely fearful avoidant and it was impacting every area of my life, yet I had never heard of attachment styles and thought my classically FA traits were just my "natural personality". After hearing about attachment styles for the first time on a random School of Life video, I began searching for more info. on the topic and came across your youtube channel. I can honestly say that since then, I have watched EVERY one of your videos, as well as participating for a while in the school (you probably will remember me as the vigorous head-nodder in the webinars) and in the Facebook groups. I have not been able to continue my membership in the school due to financial reasons, so winning a membership would be life-altering for me. In addition to how much PDS has impacted me in my own life by helping me to understand both myself and others, it has also greatly inspired my work as a writer/theorist and activist, because I see the attachment style dynamics playing out in so many different arenas of life on both the micro and macro levels. I am also interested in pursuing IAT certification through PDS, and believe that a lifetime membership would also aid me in being able to help others struggling with attachment style issues. If I received this opportunity I would be able to put it to use in so many areas, not only because it would deepen my understanding of these issues, but also because I believe that overcoming my FA tendencies will allow me to become more organized and productive--something I still feel I struggle with, and that a PDS membership would help me with. You are by far the person that I believe understands attachment styles in general and fearful avoidance specifically the most deeply, and I have learned an enormous amount from you. Because of you, I feel far more empowered to help both myself and others, and having access to ongoing knowledge and support from PDS would be pivotal to allowing that process to grow and develop even more.

[@amystrickland4858]

An all access would help me grow in my self esteem, navigating dating by picking a healthy person and knowing my worth by knowing what I bring to a relationship. Forever growing & learning. I desperately need to learn about reprogramming. You came up on my Spotify second most listened to podcast of the year! Thank you for everything you do

[@Utobong]

A lifetime membership to PDS would help me do the work necessary to reprogram limiting beliefs, release old coping mechanisms and move from FA to a more secure attachment style.

[@1alexiarivera]

Thank you Thais for all your helpful information. I look forward to being part of the school one day, and be able to gain control of my life through your courses.

[@soyouwantagodlywoman3418]

My AP side became FA after an abusive marriage. Thankful to be out and trying to do my work see if I ever want to try again.

[@samanthak4583]

Love, love, LOVE this video! As an AP who grew up with emotional neglect, it doesn't come naturally to me to communicate my needs less directly/more gently. My needs were so often ignored, I came to think if I didn't state them upfront I would never get love and attention from others. But it makes sense that a person on the receiving end of such directness can feel turned off/like I'm being too demanding. I have learned through my many mistakes that I'm worthy of love, and I can look within myself for what is loveable and good instead of begging for it from someone else. Once we start doing that, we can be more gentle with ourselves and others, and navigating relationships can begin to feel less threatening/scary. Thanks for sharing this info, Thais 💓

[@dreamcatcher9031]

Lifetime membership would be amazing. The courses in the school have already helped me start to change my life for the better! Thank you Thais!

[@vulvarainha]

Hi Thais! Bianca here. I'm 43 yo and haven't lived till this day a truly fullfilling relationship. I have come to notice, since the pandemic hit, that I now feel afraid of people, to tell the truth. That hurts alot. That's why I would be thrilled to be gifted this amazing membership. Thank you for the all the beautiful work you do!

[@lilianarios3651]

A lifetime membership would change my life by allowing me to enrich the relationship with myself and others. I’ve always struggled with a strong fear of abandonment and trust issues. Ever since coming across your KZbin channel 6 months ago, I have felt more “whole” and more me than ever before. Thank you 💜

[@wizzle-]

I definitely have trust issues that are negatively affecting every relationship. Learning how to deal with this would be a great start to healing and allow me to show up as my true self.

[@smartin028]

Learning this well enough to help others as well

[@juliazi3023]

This video couldnt have come at a better time! Thank you 😊

[@mikefr12]

You make sense and put things into perspective for this AP. It's never to late in life to learn about oneself and reflect. Thanks for giving me the tools to unlock the mystery of attachment styles and manage and approach life more consciously and with deeper awareness. Thank YOU!!!

[@lane6863]

A lifetime membership to the PDS would be life-changing for me. I have struggled for years with relationships and mental health because of my anxious preoccupied and now also fearful avoidant attachment style. Not being able to process losing a close friend in early childhood left me with abandonment issues from a young age. I come from an abusive household where my toxic narcissistic parent taught me to regulate through them instead of teaching me emotional regulation and bringing me to therapy. The abuse increased as I got older due to the fact I was blamed for not having the coping skills I was never taught. And the fact my neurotype is autistic meant my support needs were higher than my siblings of the allistic neurodiverse neurotypical due to the fact we live in a society that favors those who are neurotypical and/or follow more neurotypical standards. And while being autistic and having ADHD makes me who I am and I wouldn't want to have a different brain, not being given the support I needed growing up meant I have been trying to play catch up as an adult. While they are useful, therapy and DBT programs have not been sufficient enough on their own to help me get fully where I need to be mental health and attachment style-wise. This is because as you know they mainly treat and help you process and heal at the conscious level. I have watched the PDS KZbin channel for years and appreciate all the free knowledge given and it has helped me heal my attachment style quite a bit. I keep picking healthier and healthier people to have in my life and to date. And have also noticed an improvement in how easily I go into fight or flight due to attachment triggers. Attachment style has even become a special interest. I pass on the knowledge I learn from the PDS KZbin channel to my friends who are also struggling with their attachment styles. And then direct them to the PDS and PDS KZbin Channel for further help. Since I have struggled with fully healing my mental health and attachment style though, I have struggled to maintain a steady income and mostly work odd jobs to get by. And so I haven't been able to and continue to be unable to afford a membership to the personal development school. I know having a lifetime membership to the personal development school would be life-changing for me because I would be able to have access to the skills that help reprogram one's brain at a subconscious and unconscious level. Which would allow me to heal much faster and more fully and permanently. And I am very committed to putting in the time and doing the work. These skills available via the PDS Membership, in turn, would allow me to live a healthier and more balanced life as an adult and less have to focus on just my mental health and would allow me to have the energy and brain space to focus on other areas of my life I need to like executive function when it comes to time management and organization and building a more stable income. Thank you for doing this giveaway. Whoever receives the free membership will very much be helped.

[@mirandalevy1451]

The examples you gave showing how to verbally express your needs is extremely helpful. Most people stress the importance of communicating your needs but don’t show how to do it in a casual, non demanding way. But the way you shared them is great and I’ll definitely create my own and practice using them in the future

[@suzannereyenga7596]

These videos have helped me so much! Thank you!

[@swatiparasnis]

I've dealt with multiple issues since early childhood - bullying, SA, isolation due to illness, a parent's alcoholism, multiple bad relationships, spouse's alcoholism and resultant abusive marriage, two bereavements of immediate family(one because of Covid) in the last 18 months. This has led to massive collateral.damage professionally and financially. In addition to grappling with hypothyroid linked depression, i am diagnosed with PTSD and severe anxiety as a result of all this. Also suffer from chronic pain due to fibromyalgia and a congenital condition. I'm restarting life at 50 pretty much. I'd be the first person to admit that a lifetime membership would benefit someone much younger more perhaps. But I also dream of having one more chance at becoming an emotionally independent (AP here) and sorted person who can have healthy relationships with everyone around. And that's why the lifetime membership would mean a lot to me. Can provide more detail about my journey so far in a private mail to PDS. Sharing as sanitised a version as possible here. Irrespective,.thank you PDS and Thais, for everything you do. Your channel has been my one beacon of hope in these past three years.

[@Sarafara7]

This is very helpful! Gives me more motivation to go back to dating. Thank you!

[@Ksavage2010]

I just entered the holiday contest! The YT videos have helped me tremendously get through my breakup and understand my ex and myself.I want to take the next step in my healing process and self help journey to becoming secure.I don’t think I’ve ever been secure and I look forward to getting there one day.

[@AthenaIsabella]

AHHH always always always perfect timing! ❤ interdependence feels so much better. Thank you!

[@integratedmindacademy]

Always high end content!! Thank you for your efforts, again!

[@KriishnaaG]

A lifetime membership would help me manage with my anxious attachment style after displaying avoidant traits for so many years of my life. I think it would help me understand why this shift occurred and helped me form healthier relationships, not based on trauma. I would be eternally grateful for this opportunity as I find great value in your videos and they have helped me make sense of some difficult dynamics I have been in in the past year. With the membership, I hope to finally work towards creating healthier boundaries for myself and allowing myself to establish the relationships I deserve whilst moving towards a more secure attachment style

[@PriscilaLecona]

It has been a rough past few years. I have a divorce that is dragging on on top. But I been working on myself and lost 70 lbs. I am ready to get back out there and keep working on myself

[@ezratrem7905]

This would be invaluable for directed exploration into strategies to progress and move forward from patterns that I've been stuck in my entire life.

[@heartfulintegrations2338]

A lifetime membership would mean the world to me. As a coach, I’m still working through so many generational patterns & programs. As I heal, I’m better able to help my clients. PDS is truly a powerful platform with a rich ripple effect of healing. Thanks for considering my hearts desire 💜💞💜

[@portableportal]

Thank you Thais, this video helped me so much

[@lorajacqueline05eclectic53]

Email entry submitted! Hello! Either a short timeline or lifelong timeline would be absolutely life changing. I've been listening to Thais on KZbin for over a year. Took me a while to fully understand and take my personal inventory of my style and behaviors. I've used some of her tools in real time and it helped me transition out of another (yes another) painful hot and cold relationship. This relationship was three years while pregnant, birthing and raising our now two and a half year old child. Battling through the suicidal, shameful, guilty tough insecurities of postpartum and failing myself, my children and newest partner. I'm currently a single mother. Currently trying to reparent my subconscious fearful style sabotage stories with fire and rewire repetition both actively and emotionally with evidence in all 7 areas of Maslow structure. I don't go a day without being aware of attachment style within myself and others. I am limited financially and asked my mother to spend three months of Personal Development on me when I first began learning. If the opportunity to join the school membership comes along. I would love to look at parenting, greiving breakup, dating and dating phases in this program and am open to interacting with the support of school community 😊

[@rhondacarr8088]

I’ve learned a lot by watching your videos. I have an anxious attachment style. I’ve been working on how not to be a people pleaser, how to focus on my needs. I’ve had 2 failed marriages. I would love to one day have a healthy, loving and happy marriage. I believe that by being able to be a member of your program, I could continue to grow in becoming a healthier person. I appreciate you and your teaching.

[@tracyurban2114]

I find myself that people like me at first but not for the long hall. This is challenging for good strong relationships. I also concern of being co-dependent too. Great channel btw!!!

[@PrettyGirl-un3qh]

I could use the subscription very much. I am on a personal growth path as an anxious preoccupied dating a fearful avoidant. We love each other so much and it would be great to have more tools to grow and make this relationship work :)

[@alicialove1573]

A lifetime membership to PDS would give me the tools to continue my journey of self love and self growth, while at the same time providing the education necessary to continue serving those who need what I am here to offer. PDS is unlike any other school and Thais is unlike any other teacher. There is genuine love and care for all who become a part of Thais's world. She cares... deeply. That in combination with her vast knowledge in the arena of self development makes her a true pioneer and leader. The programs and courses offered at PDS could literally change someone's life and destiny. I would appreciate the opportunity to have my life be so incredibly blessed. My life, like many interested in self development, has been traumatic. Healing, and sharing that healing with others, is all I've ever cared about... and a lifetime membership would foster both. Thank you, Thais. 💗🙏

[@jmandeport720]

I've watched and learned from these videos over the last 2 years. The self study has helped but being able to win a lifetime or really any membership I believe would help me to become fully secure. There are still concepts I struggle with and do not have the money to subscribe myself so here's to the drawing 🤞🏽

[@livewellnz]

I would be very grateful to receive lifetime membership, I know it will continue to support me in my personal growth and self love. I appreciate all that Thais and the PDS team do 🙏🏿

[@helensiebeneich9106]

A lifetime membership would benefit me incredibly much, since my mom has BPD and my dad ASD, i never really learned to connect securely and properly even though my affiliation motivation is the strongest for me I appreciate your content, thanks for sharing Thais 🙏🏼

[@ourbeach4001]

Your classes online would help me become less anxious and more secure in relationships!

[@RachelAnnie]

A lifetime membership would be amazing. With the help of your videos I am an AP leaning more secure (and perhaps a bit avoidant but the pendulum swinging so far in the other direction given my recent experience with a DA is understandable!). My issue with dating especially in today’s world as a single 50 year old is the idea of rejection. Dating apps should not be the “pick me” or “do you approve of me?” hour. I should be vetting the guy for compatibility as much as he’s vetting me! So if he unmatches or moves on, I would LOVE to simply shrug my shoulders and say “eh I guess it’s not a match for him oh well” instead of ruminating for several minutes to an hour as to what I could’ve said or done to turn him off and what I did wrong. I need to get this figured out. I’m too old! 😂

[@anothercat9600]

So important clip, thank you very much. I just shared/detailed a daily feeling and asked if he feels similar (sthg about music and companionship which we both share), so far he has only talked about films, artists, cities etc. He likes my geekiness but I'm trying to see if we can share some vulnerabilities too. I hope he answers that text or calls.

[@PhoenixFeasting]

I would have a lot of fun with the 6 month membership 🎉🎉🎉🎉. I really enjoy the content of the PDS and would enjoy including it in the continual work I do to enjoy healthy, thriving, rewarding relationships with myself and others

[@andreidragomir1839]

Winning the lifetime membership would help me get to the bottom of my fearful avoidant attachment style! It would help me tremendously!

[@thenewgeneration5]

PDS is key ! I've been into Personal development for the longest. All of thais work is raw , real and extremely helpful. A lifetime membership to PDS is the ultimate upgrade in life. It would mean exponential growth in love and life

[@Katrica670]

Thank you soooo much for all your free videos Thais they have been a tremendous help! 😊😊 If I were to be the one winning the lifetime membership to your school it would impact me in the greatest way possible! A) I have been on my healing journey since end of 2017, I found one KZbinr who started helping me with her meditations. Then I found you about early last year or year before, and you have been such a great help! I have watched many of your videos, commented, shared, and you resonate with me extremely on my healing journey! ❤❤ B) I have been through lots of trauma like a lot of people. P.s. everyone has some kinda trauma however, I've seen some things that would have sent people off on the deep end, but still I stayed sober all my life during the decades. I have gone through too much and no one directed, guided, or helped me! 😭😭 I was pretty much on my own for pretty much all of my life, and pretty much raised myself! C) I would fully educate my young loves aka super young family members on this sweet, wholesome knowledge from you Thais! ❤️ ❤

[@arielleperry295]

What a neat give away. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I could take the courses. Maybe one day I will be able to make it work within the budget. It would be worth it! Both my partner and I are recognizing our own attachment styles and how it has affected our previous marriages. My last marriage was abusive, and as a mom, I consider the ways me working towards secure attachment will also benefit my children. I'm hoping to learn and heal and help my children by not passing an insecure attachment down to them in the way I raise them. Great work Tais!

[@lisagreen6464]

I really need to work on this in my attachment style, especially pouring in too much too soon.

[@thzuskapico3402]

🥳 it's important to learn this to have better and healthier relationships

[@karenKristal]

I would love to be able to do multiple courses or even all of them!. Im in my 40s and have previously been very avoidant and very lonely. Over the last 1 year of just watching the youtube channel i have come such a long way and have just bought my first course. I already noticed at least another half a dozen courses that Id like to do and am excited to keep making even more progress in the future. This definitely works better than anything else Ive looked into in the past.

[@gregorystinette8271]

All of these complicated issues in human relationships can be avoided by just getting a dog ; they love you more than any human is capable. Shalom

[@maitheebastien947]

I think the PDS will help me to get better in my relationship with my boyfriend. He is worth me putting much work into improving myself. Thank you so much for the video again. :)

[@joanncoffey5494]

This school phenomenal. The depth of information and the ability to apply them is life changing.

[@tuca3434]

This membership would be extremely helpful since I'm so interested in self growth as an FA. I'd have much more ease in the management of intimate relationships to the point of not needing to watch self help videos 24/7 lol.

[@swalker7164]

I just learned about attachment styles and this years subscription giveaway would be life changing for me. I find myself in self fulfilling prophecies very often. Id love to make changes to find and maintain a relationship

[@tammy6452]

Love the way information is put clearly and in a clear communication pattern. The idea of "getting him to chase" doesn't sit well but this clarified. I do not have the energy to put on show at this stage just to date. An investment in growth with use of good boundaries is perfect though.

[@MzNefTheSageRose]

The reason I would like to receive placement in any of the three prizes, is first and foremost I can't afford to pay for the class (don't let the profile pic fool you) as a single divorced mother of two I have looked into online classes on becoming a life coach. I survived my marriage from a man who displayed every characteristic of NPD and part of the survival was becoming engrossed in learning more about the disorder and what was wrong with me for staying as long as I did. I also learned that I wasn't the only one based on my Facebook posts and giving advice based on my experience. As a result, I had an epiphany; the more I learned, the more I could help others, and the desire to be a life coach was born. Fast forward to my next relationship, thinking I was secure enough to date again. We took things slow way to slow from what I was used to (because as I learned from watching your videos, I had an anxious / fearful avoidant attachments). But the closer we got, the more he pulled away, and I associated his behavior with what I experienced in my marriage, but it didn't feel the same. I even accused him of being a narcissist, out of frustration from the breadcrumbing, pulling back after showing his vulnerable side. I later learned about dismissive attachment styles from your videos and even took the advice given as to how to approach him. He was receptive, things improved a lot, then he said something that triggered me, and I pulled away because it crossed a boundary (I didn't have before). There is a lot of learning I need to obtain. One of the biggest things I've discovered is dealing with my own childhood wounds. I cried for that little girl that was me, and I totally dismiss the phrase "children are resilient" and I have been more cognizant in communicating with my boys, especially after seeing my oldest become codependent and suicidal in his first relationship (I saw myself in him). I want / need them to develop and maintain secure attachments. In all actuality, I'd like to see that for everyone I encounter as a coach. In addition to not labeling everyone as a narcissist because that label can cover up someone's path to self-discovery. I would love to be selected so I can take classes as they fit into my schedule, I have not taken advantage of the free one week course because I would need 7 weekends not 7 days to dedicate my time. I would also like to add your work is appreciated, the KZbin videos alone have helped tremendously.

[@speedking3779]

Able to use resources to have a better relationship with myself being a AP and gain confidence and trust within myself. To be able to thrive in my relationships with my partner, friends and family. To heal my AP and continue growing

[@marissagonzalez5054]

Hello! I have been learning from you for approximately a year now. I’m ready to take a deeper dive now and enter the school. A scholarship to PDS would allow me to begin at the beginning , to embark on the journey of lifelong learning . I’m 62 and for the last 10 years or so have met/ dated/ attracted people who later proved to be more avoidant. I lean from secure into AP and definitely feel more triggered when around the DA. I’m tired of the same dynamic showing up time and time again. I want to earn my security by doing the hard work. I’m ready to start. Thank you for considering my application . M

[@Parker477]

Holiday Giveaway: I know this membership would be a life change and saver for me as I continue this journey of healing and towards wholeness. ❤❤❤

[@AliLavender]

Winning will help me to work on my attachment style and be more focused on my life goals.

[@kingdomlifestylemovement]

Will really love to be considered for one of these prizes. Was enrolled in the school but had to drop out due to financial constraints. It has really changed my life and I will really like to continue on to continue with my healing journey to being whole. Hope I am considered.

[@hcrider1113]

A lifetime membership would allow me to have more time to work on my anxious attachment style. I had the membership for a while but can't afford it anymore and really need the help not just for my relationships but for my whole life. I have tried counseling and hypnotherapy and reading but my subconscious and conscious are not in sync. I want to be able to enjoy my life and friends and family and know that I have to keep working on myself every day.

[@tamy8a]

I wish I win the membership as I struggle with anxious preoccupied attachment style and it affects all my relationships. Your videos really help but because of financial reasons I haven't continued with the membership which I wish I could ❤😊 but if I don't win i wish one day I can do it.

[@sebastianpereschica9843]

Would love to work on getting to a secure attachment style

[@saragalangil9474]

I think I am late for the prize but winning will make me less orphan and I will definitely work in overcoming my FA style that has been keeping me out of feeling real love and connection my entire life.

[@howtosober]

I appreciate this channel so much. I've been trying to heal my FA attachment system on my own, without any resources to go deeper, and it's been slow and brutal. Worse, as an FA, I have a mountain of CPTSD symptoms that make me struggle with even basic adult functioning in life, causing me to live in perpetual cycles of crisis and exhaustion. Then, the discouragement of yet another failure makes it even harder to try anything again. I noticed the school has a whole curriculum for healing trauma and building healthy time management, executive function, and other skills. I need those skills more than anything. A membership would literally save my life from decades of being broke, struggling, and despondent. (Email address for my channel is the same one I registered with). Please consider me!

[@jamiegee3997]

I would love to win one of these prizes. I have struggled with my anxious attachment issues my entire life. I am becoming better about prioritizing myself and knowing my worth and setting boundaries but The PDS courses around these topics would help change my life and hopefully move me into security and help me feel truly worthy of love and a great relationship.

[@crystalzanders2535]

It would mean a lot to me. I have done some healing, but I feel like I am still struggling, loving folks that haven't earned it. And it is hard. So, I would appreciate it, and should I win, I will do my best to pass on what I learned to my circle.

[@lilymulligan8180]

Okay this video is really thought provoking... First, I always seem to make the first move. On the one hand, I love feeling empowered enough to make my desires known, and men SAY they want women to make the first move... But on the other hand, I do think it sets the wrong precedent in the long term. With my previous relationship (with a DA), I was always the one who drove the relationship to the next stage.... With him kicking and screaming all the way. So in that respect, I really crave being chased instead of always being the one who's chasing. Any tips for being patient while I wait for others to initiate...? I can't just wait around forever for these men to summon the courage to talk to me... Second, while I agree in theory with these tips, I definitely don't want to approach them from the mindset of "don't drive away the avoidants." I super duper WANT to drive away the avoidants, as soon as possible, lol. I have 0 interest in investing time in someone with an avoidant attachment style again - I just know that no matter how much I heal my own attachment wounds, an avoidant (esp if they're unhealed) will reopen them and undo all that work. I've been burned too much in the past. Stay away 🙅🏻‍♀️ Third... Thoughts on the bait and switch pattern? In my experience, I've found it relatively easy to contain my clinginess in early dating stages - they don't tend to come out until after we're committed. Likewise, the avoidants I've dated have seemed very present and communicative and interested until after things get serious. How do I vet for this in the early stages? Just point-blank ask people what their attachment style is?

[@Neilywheel]

Is it weird that it has been a while since I’ve watched her content and lately I’ve been seeing 11:11 a LOT, and what a coincidence this video is 11:11 min long!! 😮😮😮

[@ChristineHarveyTKD]

Coucou do use this course. I believe I'm mostly AP with a mostly DA from a former communist country. They absolutely shut down and is hot/cold. Going to be a depressing Christmas

[@angelina-michelle]

Hugs and Love Thais [winner winner]

[@deborahpaddock6178]

Many thanks for this opportunity. I have struggled in relation to a DA for several years now &, whilst I understand him well enough, I would like to learn how to move on & attract a healthy relationship. What does that look like? What are my needs? How can I achieve a secure or more functional attachment style myself? These are amongst the questions I hope to have addressed.

[@michellephillips7412]

I would love to win this as I am therapist and frequently formulate around the impact of attachment theory in my client work. I would love to be able to delve deeper and be a part of a community. This would be really helpful to me as I am self employed and not part of a wider organisation. Also, I currently am exposed to different attachment styles within my personal life and would like to use this resource to help me navigate those relationships better. Thanks so much for your videos.

[@alyssacubed333]

oh gosh, i recently let go of a lot of relationships and stuff in my life that wasn't serving me. finally facing my demons and lonliness and everything else i had been resisting. and then BOOM, i reconnect with an old friend where we had misalligned timelines when we wanted to date each other in the past (2-3 years ago). and if i puruse this, i want to start off grounded in the right foot! :)

[@alllscination]

I love how this is more of a 'not to' video which focusses on healthy patterns instead of the unhealthy power dynamics that drive the runner chaser dynamic! There are so many dating coaches out there that teach how to pretend to be secure and through that actually hurt the relationship to ourseves more instead of actually learning and doing the work of being secure on our own and with others. I wrote another comment about how I would love to be able to take part in the PDS community and the courses earlier but this one of the main reasons; this just very sort of wholesome authentic approach to relationships! I really love that. I imagine it to be a safe place for learning those are not easy to find. Thank you for that. I hope a lot of people get inspired even if they were attracted to the title of the video because they wanted to get chased. :)

[@fairpoet81]

I'm enjoying your comments! Thank you for sharing. Blessings from Austin 💫

[@alllscination]

@@fairpoet81 Thank you, that is sweet of you to share! I appreciate it! Blessings to you, too, from Leipzig. :)