The Fearful Avoidant and Anxious Preoccupied Dynamic: 3 Key Strategies for a Healthier Relationship

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The Fearful Avoidant and Anxious Preoccupied Dynamic: 3 Key Strategies for a Healthier Relationship
- What is required to heal
- Three key strategies for a healthier relationship
- Fearful avoidant and anxious preoccupied together
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Thank you for watching!

[@angelayaa]

1. communicate needs 2. set boundaries 3. keep a sense of self (aka keep ur life going)

[@iddefusco]

Starts @1:40

[@primerdimers]

I wish I knew this before dating anyone! painful lesson learned

[@randiwin6034]

When the FA is not able to express their feelings to the A P makes it hard. We made commitment very very early on. The AP unintentionally hurt the FA even tho I apologized we were never right again. It was a whirlwind romance. I will never get over him. I Love You R. ❤️💋

[@yveqeshy]

Emotional volatility is a big problem for us FAs Lord knows the number of times I have blown up and then looked back and been like I need to do better, the emotional mastery course I'd a great tool. I love this breakdown, FA/AP relationship can quickly become codependent and enmeshed so it's appropriate to use the same tools for healing codependency here to create a healthier dynamic

[@berriesncreme]

My boyfriend and I are having issues and I just found this and sent it to him and he is blown away by how spot on this is on our major issues right now. Thank you.

[@lanalane5856]

Are you still in the relationship?

[@ElisandroDeLeon]

Did it work out?

[@princeraja]

Lmao I am wondering the same thing. But what about you two commenters?

[@zyllbee4115]

1:40

[@dodox2605]

My mother in law (AP) and I (FA) have lived in the same house (together with my DA partner) for more than a year. I was truly, truly, truly blown away by how you explained away our emotional suffering for the entire past year with just a 10 min video.

[@robmyers7263]

This is exactly what I need to hear!

[@carolinamoxleyocampoamft9214]

Phenomenal! Love your content!

[@cengkareng6111]

This sheds so much light to a new growing bond i have

[@mollysreadings4845]

This was one of the best. Thank you!

[@gabyr4641]

Love you Thais, you’re great!!

[@tucky3191]

You are so amazing Thais. Thank you SO much.

[@jncite]

The audio is a lot better!! Thanks for everything Thais

[@TatiTalks]

This was unexpectedly eye-opening. xD It’s funny because I feel like I’ve been healing a lot of the anxious side of my FA attachment style. Now, I’m leaning more toward the dismissive side of FA (in dating context) and am having to work on addressing that. It’s a whole different can of worms. - FA

[@Ruchii33]

I relate! For the longest time I thought I was Anxious Preoccupied until recently when I discovered that I'm actually FA, so I've been doing quite a bit of work on my anxious side and now I avoid being vulnerable and relationships as much as possible, most of the times self-sabotaging

[@thetayallyn]

Me too.

[@viviancardenas5032]

I really could have used this info last year. I didn't know how to move on from where we where stuck.

[@randiwin6034]

Ya I lost myself. I just loved being together. He was my Best Friend.

[@globalmark3300]

@Thais - thats the clearest explanation I heard from you inside the PDS school and KZbin for the AA and Avoidant (FA and DA) - think this one should be a sticky in the FB group..Thanks

[@peterwickham9984]

you have been so helpful to my boyfriend and myself and our relationship continues to grow when before we felt no hope. thank you, love from Taipei city TAIWAN ! ❤❤❤

[@SpiralJoel]

Brah setting boundaries and sharing needs. good luck to me Sincerely FA thanks PDS

[@TJ-nq5nt]

Support strategy

[@keralytekid]

Amazing content, as always. But major compliments with the upgrade on both the video and sound.

[@walkertranger5746]

Agreed Even the sound!

[@honeymoney23]

Thank you for this! So helpful 🙏🏾

[@kazbaby212]

I've been considering joining the School, has anyone else joined?

[@Tulika0402]

I had been considering it for ages, doing the needs course right now.. it's pretty incredible stuff! The content is gold dust incredible value. all the best

[@clareleanne]

Is that a microphone on your shirt?

[@LadyLuck8_4]

Even asserting my boundaries, AP didn’t feel like he needed to respect them. He apologised once to me and that’s only because he didn’t meet his own standards, I didn’t actually feel like it was a genuine apology but saving face. He had amazing double standards

[@austinnguyen9107]

9:05

[@josephmischel5292]

Literally why my 10 month relationship just ended. Ugh help me!!

[@tulip5210]

Not related to video but please don’t forget the friend series!

[@grrlinglasses]

The video on how FA's show up in friendships is posted. You would have to check for the other attachment styles though.

[@tulip5210]

D. I’m talking about combination of friends, like two FAs in a friendship, two das, ect, how we choose our friends based on our attachment style!

[@alexistokarska9541]

My boyfriend is secure, but one day he told me, that when I'm randomly "running away" and I'm not available (online- we're in the long distance relationship) for 3h without saying anything he's worried and kind of triggered. He once had the situation when a girl that he liked was all nice and then run away, after months a friend of her told him that he did something and she was upset but she couldn't communicate it. The fact that he told me about this was triggering for me, I started questioning whether he's actually secure (because he's getting triggered and wanted me to inform him when I need space), I'm scared that the pattern from my previous relationship with anxious man is repeating and I'm trying to soothe my own anxiety with looking out this dynamic on youtube. I feel like I can be trapped in the relationship any minute now and it comes with a betrayal thoughts "he lied to himself and me too, he's not secure" while I literally see him having friends, taking care of his university stuff, communicating boundaries. I feel like there's no end to this cycle because every time I regulate there's another thought that's popping up to my mind...

[@beamertoy]

Why is it that communication is associated with weakness and neediness? Basically it is looked at as a turn off to even talk about 'feelings' and making known our insecurities and fears? Even a male just saying "im uncomfortable" is seen as not a masculine thing?

[@hristuppiteitinu]

EQ LVL 5000!

[@persianrose]

What if someone’s results are equally fearful avoidant and anxious preoccupied?

[@grrlinglasses]

Usually an FA dating an AA would have their Dismissive Avoidant side triggered because of the AA partner. Does this mean your AA partner might also be an FA leaning more to AA?

[@persianrose]

D. Thanks very much for your reply! I’m FA and asked the man I was dating to take Thais Gibson’s attachment style quiz. He got 1. FA and 2. AA but the percentages for each were equal (and his AA score was double mine). I’m not sure how to interpret this...

[@grrlinglasses]

Wow that's great news that he took the test so you two would have a better understanding of one another. I'm not currently in the school yet. I've been watching Thais for years. :) Hopefully someone can give you some good advice. Based on his percentages and his AA being double yours he would probably lean more AA. And if he pulls away you would need to communicate to find out if it is his FA needing space or if his AA core beliefs were triggered. Thank you for sharing. I hope either people answer your question.

[@persianrose]

@@grrlinglasses Thank you again for taking the time to reply! I am not part of the school either, and am fairly new to Thais' videos -- they are so great! Am so happy to have discovered them. Thanks again for offering your insight. I appreciate it :)

[@alignedmindbodysoul]

i am both too

[@NoahLema]

Why didn’t I watch this like 2 months ago lmao

[@alignedmindbodysoul]

dude, im both..