"There Are Two Types of Vegan..." - Joe Rogan (Strange Times)

Joe Rogan on Vegan
From Strange Times 2018
on netflix www.netflix.com/title/80215419

[@cliffordhill9078]

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

[@William_Bryant]

Get this man a salad!

[@dreammaker9642]

As hilarious as it sounds most vegans feel to me like they either brain dead which makes the minority of that group, you know the ones Scientology didn’t get to first or… they dicks to plants 😂 like seriously plants are equally as alive as us animals and also pretty sentient (more than you’d think) yet y’all go screw those things 😂 it is quite funny to me, plants are just victimes man

[@jesusofbullets]

Based.

[@SEAUwU]

Nuuuuu, that poor salad :'

[@kevinhowe543]

I want slo mo of you prepping a salad with satanic symbols of offering blaring death metal. There's your youtube channel you're welcome

[@matildamiller3233]

Boggles my mind how many "compassionate, kind" people would rather let a pet suffer malnutrition and disorders resulting from that malnutrition than accept that the pet NEEDS that nutrition from meat. Heck, why can't they get a rabbit instead?!

[@bobbonj1171]

Add insult to injury, why haven’t PETA and ASPCA cracking down on vegan pets for animal cruelty? They look the other way?

[@micl4021]

Believe me, tons of vegans find that as f'd up as you do - because they understand how nature works...

[@DesertStateNevada]

"those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience" - C.S. Lewis You need to understand that these people are malignant narcissists, and they will do anything to make themselves feel morally superior to the rest of us, to compensate for the lack of real purpose in their lives. And yes, especially vegan-cat owners, are among the worst, they don't even realize that cats kill billions of animals each year. One of the most animal friendly things they could do is not own a cat. The most environmentally friendly thing they could do is not exist. But not existing is not a very effective way of being a malignant narcissist that is morally superior to everybody else, so they stay alive, even if its a miserable existence, and hate humanity any way they can.

[@LuigiCG]

A whole lot more people do that to their own children

[@matildamiller3233]

@LuigiCG that's scary to me. I don't go for those types of restricted diets with growing children. Most vegans seem to not fully understand the dietary needs of children. I'm a product of a restricted diet and have had health issues my entire life as a result of those restrictions while I was growing. And I'm no spring chicken anymore. My father had a heart attack when i was very young, so the family went on a "heart healthy" diet from that point on. Recent years have shown that particular diet wasn't nearly as healthy as thought to be. For a growing child, we were restricted or denied certain nutritional needs. All for the best of intentions, and a result of not enough information concerning those diets and children.

[@scottshannon3654]

“That’s not true, man. We taught this lion to eat tofu” - Futurama

[@jonathanwells223]

*pans over to a comically emaciated sad lion*

[@poolhall9632]

@@jonathanwells223*cough*

[@poolhall9632]

You can't own property man 😅

[@larrydotson2625]

​@@poolhall9632I can because I have a job.

[@ThatoneGuy-zd4rl]

I understood that reference

[@matnels277]

Never was a huge fan of joes standup but this was gold 😂😂😂

[@soulsurfer639]

Was looking for this lol. I love his podcast but this is literally my first time laughing at his comedy... this was super funny 😂

[@bbluva20]

People that don't like Joe's comedy usually just don't get it. Or it's a part of some troll or hate group against his podcast/views.

[@molonlabe1509]

He's not for everyone, but I fuckin love the guy lol

[@ShirtJohnson]

Not enough people know that Rogan is a hilarious stand up comedian.

[@MichaelPetrakis]

Now that's funny.

[@user-zi1kr4kd1v]

He's really good on his podcast

[@operator0]

To be fair, his early stuff wasn't that great, but his later stuff is pretty damn good. Don't get me wrong, he's no Chappelle, but he's better than a lot of other comedians making the rounds right now.

[@timothyschule3831]

He’s aight. Better podcaster. Imo

[@khonshu6389]

He’s a terrible stand-up

[@Wolfsaloe]

There is a whole forest right behind my House. I have two cats, at first they where sweet and loved to cuddle when they where not allowed to go outside for the first year of their life. And I thought to myself: "oh boy... Are those two even capable of harming or even killing mice and other rodents... ?" Jeah those doubts went away real fast as I came home from work and found 6 mice on the top of my staircase without their heads and tails. Both Lilly and Jeet (names of my beloved murder-maschins) waiting beside their decapitated prey, waiting for headpats and bellyscratches... I saw no blood anywhere nearby.. Or the heads... Cats are predators and worse than those in the movies they kill for fun, not for sport...

[@dreammaker9642]

Yeah I swear every cat is just born with murder on their minds 😂 My ex had a beautiful little cat that I met as she just became an adult… she was pitch black with some white socks on her hind legs cutest thing ever… 3am you’d wake up for whatever reason and you’d just see these eyes staring at you in the dark… again she was pitch black si you can’t see her no matter how accustomed your eyes are to the dark at that moment… I’d be legit frightened sometimes because she just has that look in her eyes and I’m like “hey there little buddy, tsk tsk tsk tsk…. Remember when I gave you some tuna the other day? Daddy has to go up and pee now, let’s not do anything rash ok?”… other nights she’d just strike from the corner of the bed and just disappear like an assassin… I’m a 22 year old grown man and I would sometimes feel uneasy when she stares at me like that, I don’t want to imagine what a mice would feel when seeing pure murderous intent in that cat 😂😂😂

[@dreammaker9642]

I forgot to mention that cat was rescued as a tiny kitten (she literally fit in my gf’s palm in one hand) and at that point it hadn’t really gone outside much… those were just pure murder instincts

[@GIUL7301]

Barn cats rule!

[@Konpekikaminari]

"Come now, sibling dearest, we are children no more. We must act as adults and begin providing for this household!" - Lily & Jeet, probably

[@SweatyFatGuy]

I am highly allergic to cats, I cannot go in your house if you have one, no matter how clean you keep it. If I touch a cat I have to wash my hands immediately after. Guess who a cat's favorite human is when they meet him... I have two outdoor cats that live under my house. They are here because I live in a forest and I have a bunch of old muscle cars. Mice thrive in this forest, well... they used to. Now they only live outside the range of those two balls of furry destruction. I brought them here in 2015 with their mothers and five other siblings, the siblings were adopted out to good homes, my daughter keeps up with them. The two mothers went a bit too far and became road pizza on the highway. My favorite one took ill and went downhill fast, she was orange and could jump more than 6' straight up. So I am left with the one that clashes with snow asa he is the polar opposite (I am not allowed to use certain colors here), so he makes like he is a shadow in a footprint, and a calico with a perpetual apprehensive expression as her eyes slant downward rather than up at the ends. I make sure they have warm spots to sleep, a nice little shed I built to keep their food out of the rain and snow, that they can lounge in on soft surfaces, and yes I give ear scratchins at least twice a week, then wash my hands. They are employees after all, we can't have them expiring before they have a chance to eradicate rodents en masse.

[@MrMaelstorm]

This is why hunting is important, to teach the young where their food comes from. To teach them about the cycle of life and the weight of nature's rules.

[@preemptivefaceplant5277]

Not gonna lie, I wish I was taught how to hunt.

[@user-gh3wt2uf2p]

No need to hunt to teach that. I am carnivore BTW.

[@childoftruth1738]

It teaches so much more, but you're right. Nature is beautiful and violent.

[@Choryrth]

@@user-gh3wt2uf2p you're not a carnivore. you're an omnivore with issues.

[@RyukoKiryuin510]

Yea people nowadays think chocolate milk comes from chocolate cows 🤦‍♂️

[@user-pb2vo4pt3t]

40+ years ago, when we use to go hunting before and after school, I was telling my friends about the deer I got after school the day before. One of the girls spoke up, _"You killed an innocent little deer?"_ I assured her, _"NO! The deer I killed was a monster. He attacked the females, and had his way with them. He had ten knives on top of his head. He was huge! Weighed more than me! He wasn't innocent! He was a Savage beast!"_ All my friends were laughing so hard, they were in tears. I layed it on thick!😂🤣

[@feelingtardy]

Yeah, but what did you say that wasn't true.

[@user-pb2vo4pt3t]

@@feelingtardy Yes, it was. You weren't born yet, so STFU Troll!🙄

[@IstyManame]

@@feelingtardy because you say so?

[@winterFox2r]

@@IstyManame Eh… he’s technically telling the truth. Nature is pretty hardcore… much less snowflaky and easily offended like us humans…. That should be saying something. Then again, there’s also that one tiger than got annoyed by one idiot. That tiger then proceeded to take more than a hundred more people off the national census list because that tiger was offended.

[@TheSlammurai]

@@feelingtardy It's actually true. I was there, I saw it rape someone.

[@jammbbs1688]

I remember seeing on TV this older lady was arrested for animal cruelty due to killing 9 of her cats by making them vegan and the other 5 where days away from being killed too the animal rescue sat down a can of cat food and all the cats kept up like they never been fed and started eating after the lady says they won't eat meat

[@paulashe61]

It’s amazing how women justify their internal dialogues.

[@Briselance]

​@@paulashe61*dumb/misled women.

[@TitaniumCranium77]

My cat is named Spartacus for a reason: 20 lizards, 14 mice, 11 gophers, 5 squirrels, 3 fruit bats, and a mole These were presents he brought to the door. I feed him cat food and he’s 14 years old.

[@draikairion]

Bless that cat 😂😂😂

[@TMF979Resurge]

Damn he's an old boy and he still got it

[@TitaniumCranium77]

@@TMF979Resurge nah he’s been house bound since like 2 years ago.

[@hunteruhuruazrael]

54 slain as presents... nevermind the ones you don't know about, that cat as a legend

[@majinalastor5740]

Ok i have to ask, why just 1 mole

[@ArmyScoutMom]

I'm a Vegan, this bit was freaking hilarious! 🤣. I have a rescue dog and I cook kidneys for him 🤮. A Mom's gotta do what a Mom's gotta do...

[@Magneticvortex-kk4gb]

Believe it or not, animals actually do have biological mothers. So if anything, you're just a foster parent taking care of a child forcibly removed from its mother.

[@1retiredknight]

I really can't tell if that was supposed to be satire

[@TheMidnightModder]

Why do you love your dog more than yourself? We're apex predators, higher on the food chain than felines, so why do we eat Any plants at all? And from one human to another, why do you not value human life as much as you value an animal's life? Are you not more valuable than your dog? I love dogs, and I don't even know you personally, but I value you more than animals, and you should value yourself more than them as well. Be thankful when you eat them because it makes you healthier, you don't need a martyr complex.

[@ArmyScoutMom]

@@TheMidnightModder did your mother drop you on your head when you young? 1. My eating lifestyle is none of your business. 2. I LOVE being Vegan. The smell of dead flesh cooking makes me ill. 3. I'm 60 years old and look and feel like I'm 40. I don't have gray hair, I'm a dance instructor and my 20 year old students can't keep up with me in class. You think you're an apex predator?? Yeah, go into a space with a leopard. No guns or knives, just you as you are, and the animal as it is. We'll see who is the apex predator 😂🤣🤣

[@jakeywakeyyy1493]

Assuming you’re being serious good for you mate

[@venomousgoose5023]

I haven't seen Joe doing standup in probably 20 years lol. He's funnier than ever

[@anactualalpaca7016]

he's gotten funnier, too

[@alexortiz7446]

the farther back u go the worse it is . I cant imagine how garbage it must have been 20yrs ago

[@WMeier-kd8hz]

Someone I know had a ´ vegan ´ dog. She was bitten by him badly, when he had a seizure. Poor dog , but serves her right.

[@tobbcittobbcit8899]

should have reported her to authorities for animal cruelty

[@WMeier-kd8hz]

@@tobbcittobbcit8899 Wouldn ´t be animal cruelty, as sad as it is. She is / was feeding approved dog food. Not my point of view, but alas. And she really is a kind and caring person. Just stupid beyond belief😢

[@AdelaeR]

Not that I would advise to raise a dog without meat, but dogs are actually not purely carnivorous. They can make their own taurine and so they do not actually need animal products, unlike cats who can not produce taurine and do need to eat animals.

[@WMeier-kd8hz]

@@AdelaeRDogs might not be 100% carnivore, but they are definitely not vegan. Their ancestors were predators and , if human hadn ´t degenerated so many breeds, they still would be if living in the wilderness.

[@snowpuppies1]

@@AdelaeRThis. Dogs are more omnivorous like humans. Cats, however, are OBLIGATE Carnivores. Completely different needs. That said, I feed my dogs MEAT.

[@jrod4344]

Did this Vegan Cat thing start , before or after this in Futurama. Leela: Animals, eat other animals. It's nature. Waterfall: No it isn't. We taught a lion to eat tofu. Lion: Cough.

[@Grizzlox]

Some vegetarians started doing that shit in the 80s

[@Briselance]

​@@Grizzlox How did it end?

[@Grizzlox]

@@Briselance they starved a lion to death, then proceeded to convince a whole generation to become Vegan

[@myblacklab7]

Vegan cat owner: I love animals, so neither me nor my cat eat meat. Her cat: Why are you torturing me to death? The horror, the horror.

[@NixNack]

Watching Joe Rogan for me is like doing donuts in a parking lot. its a circle of "oh this is funny" "oh he's got a point" and "oh yeah, Joe Rogan."

[@maogu1999]

The contrast between how calm Joe is in his studio vs. how absolutely hysterical he is on stage

[@mattasticmattattack8546]

" YOU CAN'T FEED THAT THING CRANBERRIES! " 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@chainsawsubtlety9828]

"1 out of 100"? I'd guess it to be closer to 1 out of 2.

[@jgjfaulkner]

Big fan of his podcasts for years , didn’t know he was this funny as a stand up tho !!!

[@FatJesus15]

He was doing stand-up long before the podcasts. You should check out his older stuff! He's hilarious. Enjoy your deep dive lol

[@jordib3747]

Its not rlly about veganism... Being vegan is just a choice. Many Buddhist ppl are vegans and you hear absolutely nobody say things like "omg I hate Buddhist ppl" thats because they dont mess around w nobody. Many modern ppl just have this desire to be activists in a very weird way, that is promoting hate... As a vegetarian myself I feel kinda sad the situation overall its become kinda pointless

[@gryphon9507]

There are very few creatures that absolutely have to eat meat or absolutely have to eat plants. Most animals even the cute and fluffy ones we think are just cute plant eaters also eat meat on occasions when plants are not cutting it for them. And most carnivores dip a toe into plants. Cats fall under the category of obligate carnivores they have to eat meat, if you see them eating grass it's because their sick or something and their self medicating, the grass does nothing for them nutritionally speaking.

[@axelord4ever]

There's a good reason why chickens tend to be kept far away from horses. Chicks are about the thing they like to eat the most in the whole world.

[@wiilov]

People would be disgusted with how many l bird corpses are in a horse, cows, or deers gut

[@myblacklab7]

"Obligate carnivore" means that they must eat meat to survive, but it does not mean that they never eat anything else. Most cats will eat fresh catnip, and my cat likes to nibble on all sorts of plants. Most cat food has a lot of non-meat ingredients as well.

[@rajeebdas1724]

​​@@myblacklab7 Probably.. But if you're one of the 'vegan cat' people (I hope to God you're not), then well.. You deserve an Asylum

[@apointonacurve]

Everything eats everything else.

[@MiloFan77]

I have recently seen a bunch of young youtubers (probably vegans) release videos where they are surprised that anyone finds Joe funny and tear into him. I personally love his stand-up

[@annieesther8405]

I'm vegan and I found this video funny. I snorted a few times. I get exactly what he means. Some vegans are like extreme Jehovah's witnesses on some weird drug. Most vegans don't even mention their lifestyle choices because of the backlash we get from the bad reputation of the crazy ones.

[@daszieher]

​@@annieesther8405it's really like he said, it's not the vegan part, it's the asshole bit that makes those certain vegans insufferable. My daughter is a vegan and my girlfriend is a vegetarian and they leave me alone 😉

[@Saber23]

@@annieesther8405 you’re delusional

[@Saber23]

@@daszieher no it’s the vegan part as well, they promote misinformation, just like Joe when he says “there’s nothing wrong with being gay” yes there is Joe HIV is a prime example 🤣

[@Saber23]

@@NaesGalaxy the fuck are you talking about? 🤣 what knowledge? And no this ain’t a stereotype nobody has ever heard about this shot outside of whatever cult you seem to belong to

[@austindaniel4773]

I’ve come around on Joe’s standup, the material is actually really good.. it’s the high pitched yelling that is tough at times

[@mobmob145]

Agreed

[@haroldbalzac6336]

Yeah

[@michaelormond8511]

I had a cat for over 15 years and never took him to the vet and let him come and go as he pleased... He only let you pet him when he wanted, and he hated being held but never had a problem with mice or squirls... His best friend was my 120lb pitbull , and he would snuggle up with at night, and he was never fat... Just before he died, he came in from laying on the roof in the morning sun, took a drink of water, and lay down next to my pittbull and went to sleep for the last time... My man killer of a dog lol, whimpered and pushed him with his nose realized he was dead and fucking ate him right in front of me !!!! Lol no he passed not to long after him and he was only 10years old... Feed your kids right and for Christ sake feed your animals well because in there world that's animals and human kids you need to be as like God as possible before your kids can understand about his love. Animals will respect anything that they know is powerful, but will do that also for someone who is powerful and evil... So you need to be there, God, because they know no better... May God bless us all... Stay strong world its dark and cold out there!!! Much love

[@Ilethsamael]

Holy f your dog 😂😂😂😂

[@unclejoker9975]

What a twist😂

[@oUncEblUnt420]

Lmfao ngl i stopped reading after the "no jk"

[@damavox]

Got dam Buzz Killington

[@thomasgreen1557]

Jesus dude 😂

[@dustermcclean2517]

This was hilarious. I am vegan and i have two rabbits and they eat grass.

[@aesieaiyahcloe]

Did you know they eat their babies? 😉👍

[@giovanniamore7532]

ýou have grass murderers..?!? hardcooooooore........

[@MrDantheNobody]

Consistent.

[@zperdek]

Grass choppers straight from Nam.

[@dreammaker9642]

@@aesieaiyahcloewell there is a good reason for that… In nature if they think their babies are compromised by a predator they will eat them. The logic is the nutrients are better off going back to the mother than being lost to a predator. So if your rabbit ate it’s babies then sorry to break it to you but you a bad owner cause they only do this when under large amounts of stress… you might want to make some changes to their environment and figure out what’s stressing them out it that point before they suffer and die as a result

[@johns7530]

Perfect editing, thanks for posting this. I know Joe isn't considered a great comedian by many, but this bit is one of the best and that I've laughed the hardest to by any comedian that I can recall. "Tell that to your blind, dead cat you crazy a-hole!". LMAO!! 🤣🤣

[@phoenixx913]

The only vegetarian/vegan I’ve ever met in real life is actually a pretty chill dude who a tai chi instructor and just eats vegetarian/vegan diet because he likes it more. And never cared that I eat meat. So they aren’t all bad but there are definitely crazy ones out there.

[@harmankardon478]

This is the best of joes stand up I’ve seen! Killed it 👍🏻

[@ashocck8065]

This was good, but his stuff from 15 years ago and around that was much edgier, funnier and spot on the issues of yesterday and today.

[@GrimFowler]

i never realized it till now, but rogan is definitely a huge George Carlin fan. rip best comedy philospher yet

[@zayneclark3771]

Older Carlin in my 20s was too "angry" now looking back I was an Idiot and George was F'N right.

[@tbone2646]

yeah I thought straight away of Carlin's bit: (paraphrased) "Think about how stupid the average human is, and then realise that half of people are even dumber than that!"

[@floridacoder]

I don't know a vegan who doesn’t have a cat. Hmmm. Causation? LOL

[@dodumichalcevski]

I dont have a cat I have 3 dogs

[@capitanawesome44]

Vegans love animals so they would have animals. ButJoe’s point is on it. Parenting a murder when you refuse to so it personally isnt something you can hide.

[@Lykkos29]

@@capitanawesome44 vegans are fake altruistic people

[@530skeptic]

I'm team cat and cook my steaks mid rare. ...Beef, not cat, just to be clear. XD

[@1retiredknight]

@@capitanawesome44 Well they love the animal kingdom except for humans.

[@earl-tf4qc]

Have seen a large number of his podcasts. I didn't know he could be this funny 😂.

[@Ann71987]

I read the comments and I guess people don't realize that Joe Rogan started his career off in stand-up back in the day 😂 this is not new for him 😂 just because he doesn't do it much anymore but he still has it

[@greybeard3368]

Doesn’t do it much anymore? 😆

[@Ann71987]

@@greybeard3368 yeah he even said so on his podcast

[@greybeard3368]

@@Ann71987 So doing stand up at his club in Austin doesn’t count?

[@Ann71987]

@@greybeard3368 he said it on a podcast I didn't say he DOESN'T DO IT ANYMORE geeze how about you reread my comment

[@Ann71987]

@@greybeard3368 he has stated that it's not his full time job like it used to be, why are you being a weirdo 🤬 wtf is wrong with you I'm too old to keep replying to you I have better things to do with my time have a great day

[@8023120SL]

Greetings from Australia! I had a cat that made it to 17 years old and it quite liked ravioli, and vegemite toast, and potato chips and snakes.

[@thomas1880]

It’s the snake meat that saved him.

[@sockmon1]

​@@thomas1880honestly, given how sporadic the snake intake would be, I'd say it's the yeast in Vegemite. Very small dumb shits, that are the spawn of the same kingdom the animal kingdom split from (mushroom).

[@donaldvanvliet9039]

Did you let it outside in the evenings?

[@briantoplessbar4685]

Ur cat was eating birds and mice without uou

[@tatianapreobrazhenskaya9777]

Okay, it's Australia, we don't really want to know what exactly did your cat kill and consume for a living.

[@maximilianschmid9890]

"Phil Hendrie: That's not true. We taught a lion to eat tofu. cat:*coughs*"

[@paulthompkins4150]

These are my 2 favorite Beatles songs of all time (3rd would be 'Things we said today'). The crowd sung them perfectly.

[@theamateurconversationalis71]

Joe's awesome! BTW, creator of this video, closed captioning is already an optional feature in KZbin videos. Optional.

[@somerandomdudefes31]

But then they can't claim this is transformative content for copyright infringement purposes...

[@sillydog70]

You feed a cat a vegan diet and just might wake up some morning to your cat eating you lol

[@purplesector5891]

Literally one of the best sets I've ever watched 😂😂😂😂😂

[@sungyultaylor1354]

Joe was BRUTAL & BRILLIANT in this sketch. The way conedy should be. OFFENSIVE N' FUNNY

[@jasonpomeroy100]

That was fucking awesome!!

[@erroneous6947]

I honestly don’t usually find his stand up that funny. This was hilarious however.

[@barbrice721]

Wait till all the vegans realize plants do have life and they do feel . And they can recognize danger.

[@JonezBBQ]

I don’t understand why people say Joe is a hack. This is objectively good stand up.

[@traceeburris511]

Spot on and hilarious.

[@ADE1000SON]

I didn't know he could be so funny!!

[@robadams1645]

Whatever else you want to say about him, Joe Rogan really has fun on stage. He just grins the whole time.

[@Zappy1210]

Comedy has really changed over the last 30 years. Use to be comedians would tell outlandish and untrue stories to get laughs. Now days, all you have to do is tell the truth to get laughs. We have 10 or 12 barn cats. We have a massive garden every year, tomatoes, spinach, onions, peppers, berries etc and not one single time have I ever seen one of those cats eating anything out if our garden. Its all right there if they were interested, but they aren't. What they do well though is bring dead, half eaten moles, mice, birds and even a ground hog or 2 and drop them at our door step to get MEAT treats. Its funny, they will all literally stand there over their kill until we notice and give them their treats.

[@alp8409]

Joe ‘fluffy’ Rogan 😁

[@annieesther8405]

'Fluffy' is already taken. He'll have to find another one.

[@curtismatsune3147]

The problem with the whole "Vegans just don't want anything to die so they can live" is that plants are living things, too, and when you eat them they die, too.

[@wildraspberrie]

Studies show plants also scream in pain when cut, even though we can't hear it.

[@Apostate_ofmind]

and the worst part: agriculture kills animals. Plowing fields kills animals that live in the soil, every year, and no one eats those (well, maybe the plant).

[@samfire3067]

Me smealing The recent cuted grass. *Inhale* "i Love The smell of genocide in The morning"

[@MiemKing]

Funny first time ive seen Rogan do stand up.. 👌👍

[@ARTPLAYSGAMES86]

As a WWE fan 😅😅😅 I'm in stitches. This man would be an amazing heel

[@michaelfarmer537]

I just laughed till my sides hurt! That’s the best stand up bit I’ve seen in years! 😂❤

[@RoulicisThe]

There was a time when comedians made people laugh by making jokes. Now they make people laugh by simply telling everyday stories. Because things have been downspiraling so hard, now the world we live in IS THE JOKE >

[@donaldvanvliet9039]

People have always made people laugh by telling everyday stories. It’s the most basic form of humor after pulling funny faces.

[@hippygipsy]

This special was real gold idk people don't like Joe's standup i love them

[@piczasso]

Dude! That was amazing!

[@woman4womenkids547]

He’s hilarious! I had no idea.

[@Pscans1234]

Joe Rogan rules!

[@addiegraves3]

Cats are obligate carnivores. Key word OBLIGATE, meaning they are nutritionally obligated to eat animal protein for survival/ health

[@borrago]

Did anyone else immediately picture the "we taught a lion to eat tofu" gag from futurama the moment he said "vegan cat"?

[@differentfins]

Only 1 out of 100? I would say 1 out of 10 😂

[@jonathanwells223]

I’d say 1 out of 5, there’s at least a 20% chance someone is a fucking idiot

[@russianbot4418]

To be fair, I have cats and they will eat any vegetable I have on my plate, so long as they think it's something they shouldn't have. 😋

[@ZeroScapes]

As long as your feeding it normal cat food daily, no problem. Just dont force your cat to be vegan.

[@matildamiller3233]

My cat did that too, esp the older she got. It's like she decided if I wanted it, then it must be something for her. She still ate the catfood, and loved chicken of any kind.

[@HubiKoshi]

@@matildamiller3233 That might be mirroring behaviour. Cats love to imitate their owners.

[@sandraeastwick2517]

Grapes can kill them I believe?!

[@axelord4ever]

Some vegetables you really shouldn't give to cats. Most will generally do absolutely nothing for them nutritionally speaking, but there are a few quasi-exotic compounds in some vegetables that will destroy a cat's liver or their kidneys, which is their weak point. I suggest to everyone to read up on it, even if only on a surface level.

[@mirandachristina3412]

Thanks for sharing 👍

[@therockindoc5453]

Joe, good routine. Very funny! Thank you.

[@shawnmclean7932]

Joe will interview Trump and get along. It's coming. Win, win

[@kenmaples6856]

Get a long what?🥒💦

[@mobmob145]

Lol no thanks

[@fatmonkey4716]

​@@mobmob145Why not?

[@samuelreed2994]

Im a vegan, and i think this shit is hilarious 😂... Maybe im the third kind of vegan

[@annieesther8405]

Nah, you're part of those who don't think they're saving the world, like me. I went vegan in 2008 and have seen some crazies out there....

[@TheSaintBigFoot]

On a scale of 1-10 how cold are you right now

[@1retiredknight]

@@annieesther8405 So what is the motivation? I sort of get the zealots being zealots, but if you know better why pick a diet that requires significant synthetic supplements to stay healthy?

[@annieesther8405]

@@1retiredknight you're obviously misinformed about what constitutes a healthy plant-based diet. The only supplement I need is one that even meat-eaters sometimes need: B12. Otherwise, I get all my nutrients from my food. Plus, I picked this diet long before veganism was known to the masses, back in 2008. I regularly had to explain what the word vegan means back then.

[@1retiredknight]

@@annieesther8405 You may be somewhat functional despite chronic nutrient deficiency but I'm pointing out well established fact. If you are only supplementing with b12 and consuming no animal products, you are deficient in Creatine, Carnosine, D3, DHA, and Taurine. You are also almost certainly deficient in iron since the non-heme iron in plants is so poorly absorbed, especially in the presence of the Phytic Acid found in many plant foods. In a number of cases studies, Phytic Acid also prevented uptake of Zinc and lead to deficiencies. Calcium and iodine deficiencies are also quite hard to avoid without supplementation on a plant based diet, although technically it is possible. Maybe you aren't counting iodized salt as a supplement? For calcium you'd need about 1/4 lb of sesame seeds or a full pound of almonds per day, and those the the really calcium dense plant sources and the low very low ended of recommended calcium.

[@thorgrin7680]

My best friend when I was a child, a black cat named Abbie, would disappear for days on end into the forest behind our house. About once a day or so, she would appear with things no cat should even have the rights to attempt to kill. This little shit brought back an owl, a turkey (female, but adult) I’m pretty sure she permenantly disabled a coyote pack that used to roam out behind our house. Heard screaming of coyotes one night, normal stuff, then the screamed turned terrified, and they got quieter over a minute or two, as they ran away. 5 min later Abbie comes limping back up to our porch, and my dad had to bring her to the hospital to get her patched up. She was fine afterward, but we never heard coyotes howling until a few years after she died.

[@MissesWitch]

this guy is so funny, the 1 out of 100 thing surprised I didn't find him earlier!

[@xxlxpman]

I'm not a Rogan fan, but he was surprisingly funny!!

[@Ann71987]

Well he did start his career off starting with comedy ❤

[@nickw6617]

you are a rogan fan... you just dont know it yet

[@davideojockey6237]

you cant be a comedian that does clubs in the hole country for 30 damn years and not at least be funny

[@askarielad]

😂😂😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@user-lp5tr6de5t]

I love this guy😂 ''scientoligy didnt find them first''🤣

[@joeabrahamson4975]

Love this guy 😂😂😂

[@treebender-bl2du]

Id like to simply leave this here "potheads are a plant based gang"- Me 2023

[@kevinjohnson4288]

And I enjoy being part of it

[@BugDoctor]

Weird flex how someone can speak so authoritatively on something they clearly don't comprehend.

[@chrisbranch2891]

I said and did the same thing with this video at 1am so glad I stayed up to watch it

[@ComfortEagle-]

You are a vegan because you are compassionate towards animals. I am a vegan because I HATE plants. We are not the same.

[@GH0ST301]

Veganism sounds like a great moral high road until the grocery stores can't maintain your privileged ideaology.

[@RobotronSage]

Its literally plants tho...

[@1retiredknight]

or until you realize plants are also living organisms and you are really just opposed to eating things you think are cute.

[@bobpietraszewski4331]

Lol, laughed at a time I needed a good laugh, I didn't know you were a comedian and thank you!

[@goldsluicetinkerer]

I did not know that Joe Rogan is a comedian - and a good one. His jokes are funny and he tells them well

[@1ntwndrboy198]

My daughter got a hairless rat for a pet. She started feeding it spearmint that we had growing in the yard. I didn't have the nerve to tell her that rodents are allergic to mint.😮 The rat died about a year later. My wife said it lived twice as long as it was supposed to.😮🤣🤣

[@karlnonnenfutter7726]

Sure, rats are allergic to mint, she fed only mint and the rat lived a whole year. Do you actually know what "allergic" means?

[@CasMullac]

You didn’t have the nerve to gently talk to your own daughter and tell her she’s doing something wrong and teaching her what she should be doing?

[@azartarin143]

I used to be vegan for 2 years, but not for like the animal-cruelty bs. I wasnt too strict on myself, Technically I actually still ate meat if it was like a special occasion or like a treat, I just did it for the health benefits and see if I liked it. Then ordered a burger.

[@jonathanwells223]

Vegan == part of an extinction cult that uses altruism as an excuse, you were not vegan

[@karlnonnenfutter7726]

So, you didn't go vegan. You just ate less trash.

[@azartarin143]

​@@karlnonnenfutter7726 I kept most of my meals vegan-based back then. However now I learned that eliminating certain foods isn't the answer to having a healthy diet, rather just balancing what you eat, and your consumption. workout is needed, but you don't necessarily need a really heavy or serious workout you just need to workout as much as you eat, and just like that I lost 60 pounds and gained a lot of definition. A lot of those diet practices are bs.

[@camilofuentespena7348]

WTF! Rogan is a great comedian!??? New fan here.

[@mikefufuffalo8487]

"Tell that to your blind dead cat!" Lmfao, so great. His stand up was really good =)

[@vib.9027]

I love being vegan, but what I love more than being vegan is making fun of stupid vegans. Personally, I just don’t like meat and I’m allergic to it (as well as pretty much everything that comes from an animal) so I’d say that being anything other than vegan is not an option for me but the people who take it too far just make me want to find some sort of vegan registry and send them all beef jerky.

[@pinksupremacy6076]

Dude, ur not allergic (highly doubt it), its probably some sort of microbiom disbyosis and or micronutrients deficiency. Have u tried raw milk?

[@vib.9027]

@@pinksupremacy6076 it’s cute that someone in a KZbin comments section feels confidently qualified to negate the findings of several physicians and specialists who have treated me, but you go ahead and tell yourself whatever helps you sleep at night. Meat allergy is not a new or obscure allergy, it’s called Alpha-gal syndrome and if you weren’t the kind of moron that has the internet at their fingertips and still failed to initiate the 5 minute google search to confirm that some people are allergic to meat before addressing it as though it is an outlandish claim, then I wouldn’t have been put in a position to knock you down a peg. I’m not even going to get into the allergies to fish, poultry, egg and dairy because they are also nothing new in terms of medical acknowledgment so it raises the question, what qualifies you to tell some stranger on the internet that they don’t have allergies? I don’t have to justify my medical conditions to you, nor am I going to take your suggestion to try “raw milk” because I don’t feel like going into anaphylaxis. I’m not dealing with dysbiosis or some sort of deficiency, my throat starts to close and I break out in hives when I consume the foods I am allergic to, if you think imbalanced gut microbes are what restrict my airway and cause my skin on my face, neck and chest to erupt in hives then do the world a favor and stop trying to give asinine medical advice to total strangers on the internet because anyone who listens to you might end up dead.

[@1retiredknight]

If you do truly have such a rare allergy, I'm just happy for you that you live at a time where they can synthesize the supplements to let you live a relatively healthy life on a vegan diet.

[@vib.9027]

@@1retiredknight I never said or implied that I am unhealthy… you keep assuming that I am somehow nutritionally deficient and the reality is, I am in pristine health, I just can’t eat animal byproducts. It’s fine because I don’t like any of them anyways. Just because I have an allergy doesn’t mean I’m sickly or in poor health or that I need supplements, it just means I have to avoid certain food groups to prevent anaphylactic reactions. Would you assume the same things about someone who has a peanut allergy or a shellfish allergy, or would you simply acknowledge the fact that they have to avoid these foods? I receive all the macros I need and I live an active lifestyle and my diet is clean out of necessity, which isn’t some sort of hardship because it happens to align with what I would choose anyways, even if I wasn’t allergic. I don’t owe an explanation, but I am giving one because everyone deserves the chance to learn how to better interact in the future. My earnest advice is to stop making assumptions and read words as they are written and don’t deviate from their face value. I try to avoid assumptions, but my instincts tell me this isn’t the first time you have experienced backlash for taking it upon yourself to make assumptions and I concede to the fact that I could be wrong, but the confidence you exhibited in your assumptions speaks to a deeper character attribute that is likely to have manifested in other situations and received similar reactions from others. You can do better if you choose to make the effort. I appreciate the turnaround, but nobody should have to defend their medical conditions and while I appreciate the turnaround, I should never have been put in the position to begin with.

[@1retiredknight]

@@vib.9027 I didn't assume anything. I know enough about human biology to know no one on a vegan diet is healthy without nutrient supplements. To be considered vegan, those supplements have to be synthetic

[@ddayfitness]

Is that a laugh track or did everyone get free weed before the show?

[@Great-Dao-of-Elegance]

Another person with his "elite" sense of humor 😂😂😂

[@goatboy150]

#VeganCat

[@MrExcessum]

The guy that lied to JR and told him "the more you yell it out, the funnier the joke gets" needs to come out, apologize to him, and admit he was only kidding.

[@punyagandhi6375]

i think he is trying to copy bill burr but he is different he knows how to have a funny rant@@MrExcessum

[@deifor]

@@punyagandhi6375I thought the same.

[@projectalice8119]

This is what I love about the “Holier than thou” types. A few weeks ago a lady attacked a bunch of people on the next door app because they don’t allow their cats to go outside. She said they were cruel and smothering their cat’s natural instincts. The very next week there was a post by that same lady “Has anyone seen my precious fur baby?! She hasn’t come home in two days!” It took everything in me not to say something mean and snarky, but I didn’t want to kick her when she was down. Bad Karma.

[@Reddotzebra]

Something still has to die for them to live, it's just something that's not cute enough to pass the threshold. I mean, I think corn is adorable, but I still eat it.

[@michaelalfonso1070]

I am a vegan of 7 years because my dad had stage 4 lung cancer. So I didn’t know there were a lot of weird, angry vegans. I thought Joe was really funny!

[@samuelreed2994]

That's just the carnivores projecting themselves 😂

[@1retiredknight]

Where did you get the idea veganism reduces your risk of lung cancer? The only source I can find recommending a vegan diet for those at higher risk of cancer also recommends a soy heavy diet even though excessive soy consumption has a number of negative health effects resulting from disruption of natural estrogen levels.

[@fantasticmrmonk]

@@1retiredknightlike Joe said, 100% chance 1 in a 100 humans are a fucking dipshit

[@axelord4ever]

...Did you get hungry looking at your father, and swore off meat? What's the link?

[@jennifer.s.hentrich]

The world's strongest Man the gold medal heavy lifter of all time is Vegan and the number one diet recommended by all athletic doctors is Vegan

[@SimbiziSano-xd7nt]

It's giving Bill Burr

[@richardmyhan3369]

3:23 they do realize That cats are obligate carnivores. They *only and exclusively* eat meat. They were never meant to eat plants.

[@tatianapreobrazhenskaya9777]

Well sometimes cats also eat grass to tweak their digestion or other stuff if they lack some particular mineral or vitamin. You can't survive on meat alone, scurvy would get you. Same with them fluffy folks. But obviously their main course is meat.

[@rachellesawyer6523]

Brilliant Joe

[@jennifer.s.hentrich]

500,000 every second every second over a year equals 2.7 trillion. That's the number of creatures that are killed. 500,000 every second

[@fernandomatsumoto7308]

amazing!

[@basementbanter366]

Spitting facts as always

[@clockwork204]

Can of murder. That is fucking hilarious.

[@chriskingston4270]

Man, this diatribe is the BEST I have ever seen!

[@eriklarson2066]

Wise words Joe

[@roycarter2797]

I’m an ethical “vegan” and I have to say that this was pretty funny. And I’m glad he explained it like he did. Many vegans are just assholes with eating disorders looking for a sense of society. And I rescued a cat so I do feed her animal based cat food. But I don’t eat animals because I personally don’t have to for my health. My cat though, she has to. And I love my cat so I feed her to maintain her health. And I think I can laugh at this kind of stuff because I know that good satire is based on a stereotypical oversimplification of subjects that makes them broadly relatable and usually points out their hypocritical views and behaviors. 😉

[@king_z0g]

I'm glad you feed your cat well man, and you know what, you can laugh at whatever you want to. You don't have to justify it, just enjoy the moment. Have a nice day!

[@micheles.1179]

😂 “they’re only vegans because Scientology didn’t find them first”