THESE Exact Steps Bring the Avoidant Back (Is This Right for You?) 💔➡️❤️

[@Bulldogsrentfree-m7g]

One thing I would add is that you should make sure that you're the one who was at fault for the relationship ending if you're trying to get an ex back. If they're the one at fault, they should be the one reaching out and making the effort because it's likely they're willing to change their behavior. Other than that, great video!

[@gogohappygirl]

It takes two to tango, usually both people contributed to the breakdown of a relationship, but I assume you are referring to the person who gave up on things and decided to walk away. So yes, I agree, if your ex ended things, they should be the one to do the majority of the reaching out. The challenge with an avoidant, is they often won’t make the first move or will do very subtle signs, so you might have to make the first move to get things going again but then let them do the majority of reaching out after that. Still, unless your ex is willing to work on things, I suggest just saving yourself from false hope and moving on with your life as best you can.

[@Bulldogsrentfree-m7g]

@gogohappygirl yes, there are always contributing factors from both sides, however if your did all you could and they walked away they have to be the ones to reach out.

[@Bulldogsrentfree-m7g]

@@dandanut5409 start paying attention because there's a lot more where that came from.

[@Bulldogsrentfree-m7g]

​@@dandanut5409you reply because you're triggered by them which suggests some unresolved relationship with someone you classify as being an avoidant. You're not wrong on being able to walk away, but you need to figure out why you're so triggered in the first place.

[@DawnHatton]

I feel our communication style didnt help And him being Unemotionaly unavailable

[@NikeOwoade]

If the avoidant was the one who wronged you and then you proceed with no contact to heal, they'll surely reach out to try and be at peace with themselves and with you, they might not necessarily want to kick start something with you again. But know this, the change you're seeking for might not come unless it is a self aware avoidant you're dealing with. Find peace and closure within you and move on, trust me, better is always ahead.

[@JeremyPeeples]

Definitely needed to see this today. It's been five weeks since my seemingly avoidant closet friend ended things and this gives me hope

[@nwochill44]

Thaïs, your videos have not only changed my life but transformed my self-awareness and -perception. I can’t wait to start your coaching program!!! You do such exceptional, aspirational work.

[@heyu123]

It’s the best money I’ve spent. I highly recommend it ❤

[@nwochill44]

@ No way!!! Thank you for your input, I genuinely appreciate you taking the time to say so. ❤️

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Your journey sounds so inspiring! It’s amazing that the content has had such a positive impact on your self-awareness. Wishing you the best as you dive into the coaching program!

[@sharnamajor]

I have some questions please: 1; are you suggesting the other person (not DA), reach out, instead of waiting for the DA to reach out first? 2; if after 2 months of no contact, you suggest contact resume, is that really enough time for a DA to do any self reflection, if their "cooling off" period after a break up is 6 weeks? 3; doesn't it take years of deep therapy to rewire a DA? 4; doesn't this timeline then put the other person at risk of being hurt all over again, regardless of how secure they are or how much of the work they are putting in? Thanks!

[@cheeseoneverythingplease]

All your questions are valid! In all honesty it will likely backfire and the person trying to get back together will only get hurt again. I’d suggest these steps maybe if it was a long term relationship and if the DA person had some self awareness. These steps will likely not work if it was a short relationship

[@sharnamajor]

@cheeseoneverythingplease I definitely agree. Some people don't have this insight or are so hyperfocused on getting their ex back, that these things need to be explained explicitly. I went NC 2 days after I was discarded (self aware but not healing DA), 6 months ago, and haven't looked back. I know he has a tonne of healing to do and I wouldn't even entertain the idea of a reunion unless he made a solid effort to show healing in progress. Unfortunately, my approach, isn't as common as it needs to be.

[@cheeseoneverythingplease]

@@sharnamajor great observation! Self awareness is great and a very needed first step but it isn’t everything. Without actually taking action, nothing will change. I understand the pain after a breakup and many of us don’t know how to deal with the discomfort. So, if we are going to do something anyway, maybe these steps will make the rejection less painful? At least give people the relief “I did everything I could and can walk away”. But at some point we realize it wasn’t even necessary to do that

[@deepalakshmi9314]

My DA ex didnt even give me a chance to meet up. He called and told me he found someone else within a month. Who can wait 6 weeks when you are used to talking every day?!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

I’m so sorry you went through that. It’s incredibly hard to process such sudden changes, especially when the connection felt consistent before. Your feelings are completely valid.

[@gogohappygirl]

After two months of no contact, my ex and I spent a year reconnecting only for them too still just want friendship. My biggest mistake was not asking what they wanted from the reconnection sooner but I wanted to respect their decision and not to push things if they weren’t ready. Eventually, though, I had to ask the question. Save yourself from false hope, and just move on with your life. Also, this video is a rerun, this exact video has been posted before.

[@Gokburu95]

Yep definitely. I don't know why so many avoidants just want friendship. İt's clear to make it known from the start otherwise they'll get used to having you around only as a friend. Decline that as soon as possible and move on

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank you for sharing your experience-your insight about asking the tough questions sooner is so valuable. Respecting someone’s space while also protecting your own heart is such a delicate balance.

[@steaminghottake6221]

is this right for you? The answer is always NO. Why go through all the bullshit again, to most likely have them bail out on you again?

[@carrompool-yt9gs1234]

you ever meet someone who just has this natural vibe, like they’re on a different level? i found out most of my friends like that all read Magnetic Aura and they swear it’s not about pretending, just being real and not letting negativity drag you down. it’s wild how hard it is to get tho, keeps disappearing everywhere, but maybe that’s what makes it worth it

[@melissaoconnell5648]

Well said - leading stuff

[@SummitMan165]

Very good episode!

[@diveflyfish]

Excellent advice. Thank you. Cheers

[@cookieintune]

I believe u have good intentions but the person has to want want u back and not be afraid of being in a relationship and DA’s don’t want to be in a relationship

[@cheeseoneverythingplease]

It’s very rare that an avoidant will be open to reconnecting after 2 months even if it’s just small talk. Maybe DA who have been doing the work and don’t fear rejection as much? Maybe isnit was a long term relationship with the DA? I don’t recommend these steps if it was a short relationship that lasted only the dating phase. You’ll likely get hurt twice.

[@sinisterblister9981]

This looks good on paper but not so much in real life. I did that recently with my FA Ex and she built up a lot of resentment towards me and is influenced by her friends to keep me on arms length. When I talked about my feelings for her, she just said that she has no feelings anymore. When I told her that she is perhaps suppressing them she laughed about it. When I did then decline her indirect friendship offer ( it was not an offer, it was her saying we are friends now) she was really emotionally affected and later cried when we said goodbye to each other. Later she said also that we maybe reconnect in a relationship after three years when we both changed.

[@RayRayNDemUSA]

The set up is as clear as day to use you for validation only. She don’t want anything real with you that benefits and nurture each of you. Don’t fall for that 🚮 and find someone who is emotionally available, reciprocal and who wants to be with you now, not 3 years later after test driving other partners. Be unapologetic about respecting yourself and honoring your relationship with yourself.

[@sinisterblister9981]

@@RayRayNDemUSA well I know all that. It is also not that we did not have anything real before for almost two years. Anyways, thanks for your impulse.

[@ajreyes5641]

No contact seems more like manipulation to me. Also t wait 2-12 months for someone who may not even come back to you (while they're out partying) is just ridiculous

[@shellme79]

Ideally, you are not waiting. You are healing yourself & living your life.

[@smartengineering8934]

And what if the avoidant doesn't come back? Especially if they want to be on good terms with you, wouldn't going no contact make them feel rejected? Might fearful avoidants not fear coming back in contact? Going no contact with the purpose of triggering someone's anxious attachment feels rather manipulative, not really the best way to treat someone one is supposed to love. And avoidants are not all that stupid, they may see right through this mind game. Wouldn't a cool off period with brief contacts be better than cutting all ties?

[@gogohappygirl]

The main purpose of no contact should be to heal oneself and focus on addressing your own attachment trauma, in addition to respecting the other person’s decision to end things. It also gives both parties a period of cooling off. Where both can reflect on the breakup and the relationship. no contact does not mean never speaking to your ex, it just means letting them do the majority of the reaching out if they are the one who ended things. It’s a time to focus solely on your own healing & starting To move forward. It’s also a form of self-respect as well as respecting your exes decision to end things. If you’re doing no contact solely for the purpose of getting your ex back, then yes, it is a form of manipulation. Personally, I think if someone ended a relationship, it needs to be their choice whether or not to try again. Many avoidants will try to be friends with their ex, though, because that’s easier and less vulnerable for them, so then you have to decide if that’s something you really want and can live with, because if it’s not, then you have to walk away or find a way to move on with them as just a friend. If you continue to reach out to them after they broke up with you, you’re either going to push them further away or get stuck permanently in the friend zone. If you’re OK with just being friends, then go for it. But you have to ask yourself if that’s really something you can be OK with.

[@smartengineering8934]

​@@gogohappygirl agreed, can't undedstand why some wannabe coaches advocate for no contact as a way to get an ex back, attempting to manipulate someone into getting back together in such a way is a very insecure thing to do. If one wishes to get back with a friendly ex one should be upfront about it, telling said ex one still is attracted to them and odds are if they keep hanging out one may want to get back together at some point, that way there can be honesty, something avoidants should value one may think.

[@SusandPhd]

What if the period of no contact with the DA has been 4 months?

[@johnewman79]

My FA ex broke up with me a week ago for 6th time, i keep breaking her trust and dont even realise im doing it, ive stepped away this time because she told me she never wants to see me again, shes contacted me 3 times over the last 8 days but is always very cold, im trying to match her energy and keep everything short and sweet, she feels she cant trust me but we both love each other very much and have a long history, she keeps posting whatsapp updates which she doesnt usually do but she knows this is the only way I'll see anything about her so i think its for my benefit, between her messaging first but with cold texts and posting updates i just dont know what to make of it or what to do 😫 im keeping the no contact thing going as much as i can and only responding to her texts hoping for the best

[@gisellechristoffersen8576]

Do you have advice on what to do if you live together and have kids with your dismissive ex?

[@TalonNolanVance]

Thais I honestly think you’re doing gods work for us and we get to access it for free. Thank you for every knowledge and wisdom you share

[@CynthiaSchoenbauer]

I think those who benefit should donate to the channel.

[@TalonNolanVance]

@ Agreed. I’m thinking of taking the coaching she provides

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank you for your kind words! It’s so rewarding to hear that the content is making a difference in people’s lives. Wishing you all the best on your journey!

[@Smashking91]

I understand the break up is caused from both sides but I betrayed her trust and that caused everything to unravel. She said she forgave me but still acted cold and distant. 3 weeks later I got ghosted. I have been in no contact for over 3 months and reached out during the first month to check in on her. We were only dating for 2 months but I can’t seem to get over her. Is it just time to move on?

[@Gokburu95]

I was in your scenario. İt's not worth hanging onto something hoping they'll come back and change. Work on yourself and move onto someone better, hopefully not an avoidant. İt's not worth the hassle

[@AWA89r]

I can’t let him back even he’s the father of my children due to he jumped into rebound! No matter what reasons why he did that! From the past 18 years all he did to me was isolated, distanced, gaslit, no sexual for 12 years! I’m working on myself to let him go and be happy with him even he’s trying indirect way to come back. He’s monkey branching! It’s so disgusting 🤢

[@RayRayNDemUSA]

He’s done permanently.

[@Mark_simard14]

I’m still blocked 😢

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Being blocked can feel so disheartening. It’s okay to take this time to focus on yourself and your healing. Sometimes space can be an opportunity for growth on both sides.

[@Mark_simard14]

@ I miss her so much and would like to talk with her 😰

[@Mark_simard14]

@ yes this is all true, but it still doesn’t take the pain away. I hope she unblocks me

[@ALpha-hq4ho]

Hi id like a question if youd be kind to answer What if they broke up with us should we still reachout or wait for them to do so ?

[@gogohappygirl]

Some avoidant exes won’t reach out even after several months, so you may have to send an initial text to get the ball rolling but then leave it in their hands after that to do the majority of the reaching out. But honestly, if your avoidant ex isn’t willing to do the work, you are better off focussing on yourself and moving on with your life as best as you can.

[@RayRayNDemUSA]

Move on with your life, heal and attract a partner that will actually reciprocate, be emotionally available and ready for a relationship.

[@giulia2098]

❤️107

[@Lopata991]

Her online school is great, but these avoidant farming videos are just bait for views imo. I really don't see anyone having success with these people. Even if they do its such a small percentage and the videos on these theme are the most high percentage. Doesn't make sense.

[@rpgaming1234]

i used to think all these energy books were just hype, but then i heard about Magnetic Aura from friends who suddenly seemed calmer, more in control, like they weren’t letting stress or negativity mess with them anymore. it’s not magic or anything, but i can’t ignore the changes i’ve seen in them since they read it. it’s hard to track down tho, so if you’re curious, you’ll need to dig a little.

[@PratapSarkar-k9r]

i thought Magnetic Aura was just another self-help trend till i saw how it’s lowkey transformed my friends-like they’re way more grounded, confident, and people just wanna be around them. it’s not fake or try-hard, they just seem real and magnetic now. it’s tricky to find tho, gets taken down quick, but worth hunting for

[@tadhaharmit_07]

so my friends read this book called Magnetic Aura and they all started acting way more confident-one got a job they didn’t even apply for, another’s meeting all these amazing people who actually lift them up. it’s like something shifted in their vibe, not in a flashy way, just subtle and real. it’s wild tho, this book keeps getting removed so fast cuz it’s apparently too powerful-good luck finding it if you’re curious.

[@agfofficoal512]

i used to think all these energy books were just hype, but then i heard about Magnetic Aura from friends who suddenly seemed calmer, more in control, like they weren’t letting stress or negativity mess with them anymore. it’s not magic or anything, but i can’t ignore the changes i’ve seen in them since they read it. it’s hard to track down tho, so if you’re curious, you’ll need to dig a little.

[@eileenfuentes6975]

I digged and too many books popped up. Who's the author?

[@hites461]

so my friends read this book called Magnetic Aura and they all started acting way more confident-one got a job they didn’t even apply for, another’s meeting all these amazing people who actually lift them up. it’s like something shifted in their vibe, not in a flashy way, just subtle and real. it’s wild tho, this book keeps getting removed so fast cuz it’s apparently too powerful-good luck finding it if you’re curious.

[@ajjubhai8929]

i thought Magnetic Aura was just another self-help trend till i saw how it’s lowkey transformed my friends-like they’re way more grounded, confident, and people just wanna be around them. it’s not fake or try-hard, they just seem real and magnetic now. it’s tricky to find tho, gets taken down quick, but worth hunting for