THINGS WE WISH WE KNEW BEFORE MARRIAGE ... money issues, constant arguing, changing personalities

All XO links will be below! You ever heard the quote “knowledge is power”? Of course you have because you just read it. Lol anywho. That’s how we feel after going to conferences like this and hearing from speakers, authors etc on topics that are so close to our hearts. I feel powerful. I feel alive. I feel “in control” (of course not like taking control from God) but I feel like I can tackle my struggles. I feel like I can set my insecurities straight. I feel like I can take my thoughts captive. I feel like I can make decisions that a good for my future even if they require immediate sacrifice. I feel good. Praise God for organizations like XO who help equip us in this (more often than not) hard world and use God’s wisdom to coach us forward so that we feel powerful! Please please please continue to seek knowledge. Value it. And use it well.
Love you all,
Chad & Tori
Download the App as well!
XO Marriage: xomarriage.com/
XO NOW subscription: xomarriage.com/xo-now/
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Chad's- / chadmasters
Podcast- / themessymasterpiecepod...
3. Daily Devotional Podcast: toriandchad.buzzsprout.com
4. Books and other things we recommend: www.amazon.com/shop/torimasters
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6. Our Mailbox:
Tori and Chad Masters
2161 E County Rd 540a
144
Lakeland, FL 33813
7. Podcast with the Boyz: linktr.ee/PromptUs

[@ToriAndChad]

Is there anything in life you wish you would’ve known sooner?

[@ToriAndChad]

for example. I wish I knew that just because you have a fight or disagreement, that doesn't mean the relationship/friendship etc is over..

[@shaughnsmit2076]

Communication actually means sharing feelings. That took me a while to figure out

[@ToriAndChad]

oh dang why am I just learning that lol

[@abigailboal4426]

That my sins don't just affect me, they affect those around me as well.

[@ToriAndChad]

AMEN!

[@amystout9838]

"If you smash it while it's small, you don't have to battle it while it's big." SO GOOD

[@ToriAndChad]

right?!?1

[@jonathansmith3063]

Such goodness... 😜

[@myballsitchsomethingfierce6319]

Does this problem have a set of balls attached to it?

[@tressajones2403]

I’m not even married or dating, but I love watching your videos on marriage because they help me understand how I can best prepare my heart and mind for when that time does come. Love y’all! ❤️

[@sarahwood2518]

" *In spite of* versus *because* of." Gosh, I never thought of it that way. Thank you Tori and Chad! We are going over how to find and create joy during difficult times in our bible study group right now and this^ quote is definitely worth sharing.

[@dsophie7816]

Toriii we want all your notes!! Please give us a part 2, this was really good!

[@ToriAndChad]

hahah let's see if more people want that!

[@sabinacerovska540]

Yes! We want all of that! 😁

[@katelynpaige2559]

Choosing joy. That was the biggest one for me. Not leaning into your emotions, but making a decision to be happy in spite of. Circumstances are a roller coaster and truly realizing your joy can’t be dependent on them and can become a choice not just a fleeting feeling. Thank you for that!

[@theresastallone]

My fiancé and I love watching your guys’ videos. They’ve helped our relationship so much and we’ve been practicing calling on the Holy Spirit everytime we pray together❤️We are attending an XO marriage conference this year and plan to every year!!!

[@emmam3416]

This was so so good!! loved the wisdom! Love the next part you are doing with Xo so excited for your focus group!!

[@shonamcbride6200]

This video was SO GOOD!! Thank you so much you guys! Would love more videos like this! I’m finding it incredibly insightful 💕✨

[@allisonlucas018]

This is so good! I'm going to have to listen to it over again. Chad, I'm looking forward to you sharing more about defiant joy! And yes, worship and choosing joy is so powerful. That's how I started my day and man is it so much better than the previous two days!

[@MorenitaBonita19]

I’m entering a courtship and this is what I’m most nervous about. The person I’m dating/marrying changing on me…but like you guys said, their character is what remains consistent . Also the money thing 😳 I’m used to working and having my own money and when we get married (hopefully) we will switch to his income only so I’m nervous about that transition 🙏🏽

[@ToriAndChad]

we love it! It can be nerve wracking but keep the faith!

[@lydiamcnabb1165]

Every time I watch one of your alls videos I am so encouraged! It’s crazy how the Lord uses you and this platform to speak! So thankful for you two and the wisdom you share!

[@francescasalcedo]

This is just what I needed. Choosing joy can be so difficult especially during hard times, but hearing reminders such as these help! Thank you Chad and Tory for always being so encouraging ♥️

[@bethanychavez4911]

THIS WAS AMAZING! Also side note...I love how Tori is always smiling! Such goodness ;)

[@ciarathorburn6287]

Tori and Chad, I can't put into words the meaning that your videos have to me. I permanently sit and make notes! I thank God for something like KZbin and then people like you who share intentional meaningful advice in the light of a life with God. Please keep sharing!

[@emilywinger9175]

Oh WOW, this is a word!! I love the idea of having a defiant joy, truly a discipline we need to learn. Like Paul said, he LEARNED the secret to being content - it's not passive but active, we need to press in and pursue it. Thank you guys! ❤

[@taylorw5335]

Love y’all!! Thank u for the wisdom as always!!❤️

[@ToriAndChad]

we love you! Thanks for being here!

[@yoshitaathadhani1427]

Really loved that last point & definitely needed to hear that. Thanks for sharing.

[@TreasureLovely]

Wow. That ending was so powerful. I feel like Tori talking about reaching the realization and acceptance of God knowing us personally, is a blessing. I instantly got the feeling that chains will break for people just by hearing that. GOD KNOWS MY NAME!! 🙌🔥

[@benthevanrumpt2797]

Ahh love this! Thank you for sharing all your advice!!🤍

[@ToriAndChad]

We love you!

[@kimberlyellen7210]

When you know better you do better. -Maya Angelou Love the video. Would love to see a second part and more topics from the XO marriage conference. God Bless!

[@alicelivesfree]

Love this video, guys!! Especially the idea of money languages... feel it might help me unpack some of the common conflicts in my marriage. Thanks for sharing your learnings 😊

[@christinawatkinsyoutube]

I’m so thankful y’all keep sharing all the things you learnt from the xo conference!!💪🏼 this is GOLD as I am not yet engaged but slowly moving towards that season🙌🏼

[@maddy_m_hunter]

I love what you said about joy! One of my favorite quotes from the president and prophet of the church I belong to is "The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives." Totally along the same lines as what you shared!

[@sasscass22]

I love your videos! Please share more. Getting married in November and this is good stuff to hear before hand. I struggle with really believing that God loves me on a very personal level. I know he loves everyone and that includes me.

[@oliviaholness7409]

Tori’s hair looks so good!!

[@vasoulakapenekakis455]

Thank you for all the effort you put into your videos! I have learned so much already and my connexion with the Lord has improved tremendously :) I wish you all the best and know that we pray and think of you daily! Me and my sisters send you our love!!

[@ToriAndChad]

Thanks so much! That means a ton to us!!

[@claubit32]

100% of marriage success with God involved!! Love this!!😊

[@anoriginal97]

Love this & conversations like this! Thank you guys for being so passionate about helping others have healthy relationships. 💕

[@ToriAndChad]

it's definitely our passion!

[@allegravet]

That XO intro!! 🔥🔥 Can't wait to watch!

[@ToriAndChad]

yayay!!!

[@allisonlucas018]

So excited to watch this as you pour out what you've learned from these conferences! This one's going to be 🔥

[@ToriAndChad]

Aww Thank you Allison!!! We love you!

[@marcusw9894]

I imagine that simply knowing and acknowledging what season you are in and of itself is very helpful

[@melanieibanez2049]

I love these videos i literally see them with my boyfriend planning to get married and its sooo fun!❤️ I love how God uses youtube and the impact you guys have all the way to us (we're from Mexico)!

[@ToriAndChad]

that's so great! That means so mich to us and we love that you guys watch them together!!! Sending love to you in Mexico!

[@Kissesreeses]

I’ve never heard of Money Languages before! Is it possible for you guys to talk more about it please? Like maybe a separate video talking about Money Languages?

[@iliveonthemoonful]

Please continue to share what you guys have learned, its so helpful😍

[@hannahrobby]

Chad said it perfectly, you don’t know what you don’t know. As a single woman walking under God’s shadow, patiently (mostly) waiting for God to bring my future spouse and myself onto the same path, it’s been so exciting and fulfilling to listen to marriage and relationship advice from you guys and other sources, including the bible, which I can still practice and put into place with other friendships and relationships in my life. I feel like it’s God working in my heart to break my expectations of marriage just based on my parents relationship and allowing Him to work in me and help me see and crave a healthy God-given and blessed relationship. I’m not sure how possible this is to talk about in a video or if it’s helpful information for XO but something I’m not sure has been talked about before is the initial time you meet someone and you’re filled with all the happy feels, you want to dress a bit nicer or spend a bit more time on your hair, and you get some butterflies before you see them again, they take up so much of your thoughts but your still not quite friends yet and not sure if it will go anywhere. How do you stay grounded and continue in God’s peace and comfort when your mind starts running off and it feels impossible to stay grounded and in control of yourself?

[@sarahcwiek1784]

During those first few dates I like to choose to shift my focus away from the myriad possible futures and focus on just enjoying that one moment I know I have with the person which is in the present. Nothing too crazy or heavy, just connect with them if it feels organic and have a fun time in the process.

[@hannahrobby]

@@sarahcwiek1784 this is great! Thanks for sharing 💞✨

[@AaronShu]

I'm very psyched about this one! Let me jump right in!

[@mamaat5682]

Hey, you guys 👋, just wanted to say how much you learn with XO marriage is amazing. Went to the Dallas and Grapevine TX Conference and bought tickets for next year’s conference. My husband and I have been married for 15 yrs and Xo marriage have changed our live for the better since we first went. So much knowledge. I’m so glad that your part of the XO. I met y’all in Grapevine, Thank You for making me feel comfortable when I was nervous. Y’all are such a sweet couple. See y’all next year!!

[@hannahamelang3473]

I would absolutely looove to be a part of a focus group! I got to meet you guys in Dallas and talking with you only enhanced the fact that I knew God was moving through you. It was so cool to see y’all sowing into so many people. I’d love to help in any way I can! Much love ♥️

[@mileyshkarodriguez2007]

Thank you for always sharing such GOODNESS 💕 give us more

[@debbiejivan6642]

watching this now after your pregnancy announcement and hearing Chad mention infertility makes me so emotional because I feel like I can see God smiling on you two at the moment just thinking "you just wait and see" ugh God is so good!

[@leahonnafontenot4813]

I would love to watch a video about you guys talking about your weekly meetings & what topics you guys highlight on each week! Love you guys🥳🥳🤩💗

[@wyattemilyellsworth3257]

So proud of you guys! God has called you in so many ways! You both are such a beacon of God’s light in this generation especially for helping shed truth on Godly marriage! ❤️ I appreciate you guys never changing God’s word due to a changing and counter- culture but for being deliverers of God’s true word!

[@ToriAndChad]

thanks for lifting us up! It means a ton!

[@luanagonzalez5441]

Hi guys!! So excited to watch the video and take notes! I am not even close to getting married lol but I know that in the future all of this is going to help me a lot, thank you for sharing!! Love you guys!! ❤️❤️❤️

[@ToriAndChad]

this is stuff we wish we knew before hand so I hope it helps!!

[@CarleighCraparo]

Yess love these videos!! Keep em coming! 👏

[@iuliaturcas4348]

Beyond excited for this new video! ❤️ Love listening to your advice and I feel so blessed to be part of this lovely community! Thank you for being here for us and creating such meaningful online content! 🤗

[@ToriAndChad]

we love you Lulia!!!

[@iuliaturcas4348]

@@ToriAndChad 🤗🤗

[@rebeccawillmore1394]

I am ready to know the things I would have one day wished I knew before getting married! I'm here for it🙌

[@ToriAndChad]

haha these things would have helped me so so so much!

[@shwetav]

Im so grateful to have watched this! It's filled with so much wisdom and I can literally feel so so enriched with the right kind of information and feelings of reassurance. I cant thank you enough for sharing all this stuff.. wish we all were taught this in school and encouraged to have more meaningful relationships than run after grades!! I'm definitely researching it and sharing it with my close ones right now!! Love you two tons!! :)

[@ToriAndChad]

We love you Shweta!! I don't know why we weren't taught this but i'm glad we are learning now!

[@shwetav]

@@ToriAndChad I love you two far moreee!! Can't wait for all thats in store for us.. Tuesdays and Thursdays just have a different beat altogether!

[@sajansuganth8967]

Chad, what you said about defiant joy is something I really needed to hear. Amazing video, keep up the good work.

[@ToriAndChad]

i needed it badly

[@MorenitaBonita19]

This was so heavy…pressing into joy as a discipline and not just an emotion 🔥

[@jacelynho]

definitely food for thought and again serving with the spiritual wisdom! such goodness hahah! also a lil suggestion to go deeper into the topic of joy! love y'all as alw :-)

[@jasminegohhh]

love the consistent content!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ always here to support! and super proud of y’all for hosting 👍🏼

[@ToriAndChad]

Thanks so much! We love that we get to do this and will do our best to stay consistent for yall!

[@jasminegohhh]

appreciate the ministry y’all are putting out here on youtube + on spotify!! don’t be pressured to post consistently cos im always rewatching all u guys’ past videos hehe

[@ToriAndChad]

awww hahah thank you!

[@Jesscalmvision]

God has been speaking to me about my husband recently. So this advice is so timely as I prepare for marriage. While I have been married and I’m divorced, I was really young and there was a lot that I did not do well. So it’s really helpful to have advice from married couples who love Jesus. Thank you💕

[@ToriAndChad]

We love that you are feeling encouraged by this...

[@kd570]

Thank you Tori and Chad. This is the second time God used you both to speak to me. Thank you Jesus! Praying for you both, may God grant you both the desires of your hearts! xx

[@stephenandkatieadams]

So thrilled to see a Christian couple openly sharing their faith on KZbin in a very intimate way. I'm very thankful to have found your channel (through Jess & Gabriel). Thank you both for sharing your experiences and wisdom with us and always tying it back to His Word. My husband and I just celebrated our 3rd year of marriage. We have a lot to be thankful for and a lot to learn. Excited to see how the Lord is using you both!!

[@solarfanwings7330]

One of the best pastors I’ve ever known says, “joy is a constant defiant ‘nevertheless.’”

[@dsophie7816]

In general, your content has taken away so much insecurity around relationships for me, but especially around marriage with videos like this. I used to be so. Scared. Of marriage even though I am so far away from marriage. It has gotten so so much better since I have started watching you guys. Thank you so much!

[@ToriAndChad]

Aww that means so much. Gonna share with Tori now to encourage her...

[@dsophie7816]

@@ToriAndChad I hope it encourages her!

[@darareasbeck4802]

Newly married. If you are struggling with something be open with your spouse, pray to the Lord about this and seek wise counsel. Don’t hold these things internally.. that was my problem. It’s not a sign of weakness if you are struggling with something. Something I wish I would’ve known sooner is that it’s okay to struggle with things like communication. Humans being humans. Each day you pick it up and keep moving. You are constantly learning something new everyday in marriage. We are weak but God is strong. We are connected to a perfect father that loves us dearly.

[@jaynepictures9846]

That's encouraging.

[@john-johncarmichael1340]

Would love to see an hour or so long video of you all just sharing everything on your heart! Basically a full length "Masters Message." :)

[@jenniferk23]

Never have I ever been so excited to open up KZbin. 🙌 Came for more urgent things (watch the local news for severe weather alerts), but shall watch this instead. Priorities. 💁

[@ToriAndChad]

aww that makes us happy...

[@asheleychae]

Our church was a hosting site to broadcast the conference. It was such a blessing for us, and so many more couples. ♥️

[@ToriAndChad]

awww yay!!!

[@Greg_Orr]

There is so much value in you both and it makes me so happy seeing how passionate and excited you get when you share the amazing things you’ve heard and experienced from XO conferences and that energy from you both rubs off onto me! So so good! Is XO planning on coming to Australia at all? Haha

[@ToriAndChad]

aww thanks so much! Let's see if XO wants to do an international conference!

[@issyboshoff3182]

Throwing UK into the mix for that one too pls!

[@meganshank4800]

SO many good videos recently!! Thank you, Masters!!

[@ToriAndChad]

Thank you Megan! We love you!

[@meganshank4800]

@@ToriAndChad I love you guys!!

[@ciaraliane2751]

OH LETS GO!!! I’ve been waiting for this!!!!!!!!

[@shaughnsmit2076]

Cowgirl!! 🤠

[@ToriAndChad]

yay!!!

[@ciaraliane2751]

@@shaughnsmit2076 hehehe duhhhh i mean YYEEEEHAWWWW

[@elzaan8257]

I love to listen to you, such goodness and inspiration! Regards from South Africa

[@jess1ic5a]

I may or may not have watched the intro 3 times because it's AMAZING and got me totally hype for this video... ALSO, if you guys come to Pittsburgh, I WILL sign up for the conference - just sayin!

[@truckdriver3737]

Love This topic! Married and watching

[@ToriAndChad]

lets go!!!

[@Miracleshappentv]

I pray that everyone who watches this video will lean in and hear what the Lord is saying through these two open vessels of the Lord. Love you both and have a supernatural day.

[@ToriAndChad]

you're the best!!

[@Sbro901]

Really love this beat guys. You are prime and ripe for this new venture with XO. I would suggest teachings on marriage after divorce. Scripture gives criteria for marriages in which divorce/remarriage is allowed, I.e. sexual impurity, but what about other grievances that kept marriages toxic? Is it sin to remarry in those contexts? I have may have insight but it’s something not spoken about enough in church. If XO could bring this more to the fore, it would be great to get around this topic. Thanks again you too for including us on this path…♥️♥️

[@EileenRobles]

Very helpful video thanks so much 🙏🏻

[@ToriAndChad]

thanks for watching it!!

[@kpro9560]

Look forward to catching up on Tori & Chad Vlogs. As a long time subscriber to the Earls Fam, Harold and Rachel just recommended your channel and I subscribed to yours!

[@arbretree5463]

Very interesting! Thanks for sharing ❤️

[@abigailboal4426]

This advice is so helpful for me, even though I'm still young and not close to marriage, but it is something for me to take notes on for the future. Thank you so much for following your calling! Love you both dearly 🥰. Also that XO intro is great!

[@ToriAndChad]

aww that means a lot! We love you too!

[@abigailboal4426]

@@ToriAndChad How can I be praying for you guys this week?

[@ToriAndChad]

Just for our mindset to stay positive and encoruaged

[@abigailboal4426]

@@ToriAndChad OK cool I'll be praying for that for you and for me haha:)

[@brooklynbailey3925]

Thank you for sharing these things! Also the encouragement at the end - I always come away feeling refreshed and challenged in a beautiful way from you guys' content. Love you guys! Also, where did you get that artwork above your bed. So pretty!

[@sofiagarrahan4170]

Excellent video!! So thankful for you guys❤️❤️❤️ If it’s possible, I’d love to see more videos about other notes you took! 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@ToriAndChad]

We would love to do that! We are thankful for you!

[@sofiagarrahan4170]

@@ToriAndChad thank you! You both are so sweet🥰🥰

[@amylubrecht576]

Love this so much! I definitely want to be apart of it!

[@shaughnsmit2076]

Cooool intro y’all 👏🏻

[@ToriAndChad]

Thanks IRONMAN! I need to watch it lool

[@shaughnsmit2076]

“If you smash issues while it’s small then you don’t have to battle it when it’s big!” Boom

[@ToriAndChad]

right?!?!

[@rachel_joy.b]

yes, please come to Pittsburgh!!!

[@gwenking6983]

MORE PLEASE💓💓💓💓love you guys so much. God knows our names✝️🤍

[@April.King11]

Yes!!! More please!

[@mishajacobs.2000]

So so good!!

[@jennysims1]

Brilliant video

[@beckyschutten6816]

Would love to hear all the notes and to be apart of a focus group! Y’all are a blessing!

[@julikayki6655]

Of course we want more! :)

[@ToriAndChad]

yay!

[@shaughnsmit2076]

Money languages, who knew! Would really love more on this!!

[@ToriAndChad]

yeah I need to break it down a bit more!

[@shaughnsmit2076]

@@ToriAndChad pa’leaseee

[@bequirivera8540]

Part 2, 3 and 4 please 😍

[@lyttle1832]

I love your videos but the best part is the end when chad goes to do do do do do do 😂😂😂❤️ you two. Bless you

[@oliviaphirman2876]

Tori! I need an updated hair routine. Your hair is BEAUTIFUL!!

[@ToriAndChad]

I'll let her know!! what about my hair though?! haha

[@oliviaphirman2876]

@@ToriAndChad haha yours always look good 😎

[@ToriAndChad]

I receive that

[@shaughnsmit2076]

Part2, part2, part2!!! please ;)

[@ToriAndChad]

hahah let's see if more people want it!

[@eleonoragrossen8083]

more of this please :)

[@sherbetstraw8605]

I heard you say "infertility" and I just want to say God's timing is perfect! You're not infertile, you're fertile and waiting on God !! XX

[@sarahdavid147]

Tori- where do you shop mainly? I love your wardrobe! Love y’all I’m so glad I’m following your channel especially now that I’m dating someone and we’re moving towards marriage.

[@kathyzakharyuk8050]

Truth bombs thank you guys

[@samueljayakumar6132]

Heyyo!! I’ll be watching this a little later. I’m a little disturbed with what’s happening. I want to spend some time with The Lord and be in his presence. See y’all in comments next Tuesday! I hope you have a great day and relaxing weekend. Cheerio 👋

[@ToriAndChad]

Yeah it's so tough... We honestly need to do the same...

[@laaaainz]

We're going to the one in PA!!

[@husialek]

I want to be a part of it!

[@vaishnavishendkar95]

PART 2... PART 2... part (as many as you would make) 💁‍♀️

[@carolinemolloy9637]

Volunteering for the focus group if needed!

[@keana._]

the lil intro 🔥

[@shaughnsmit2076]

Really cool right!!

[@ToriAndChad]

I haven't seen it yet lol

[@eleonoragrossen8083]

My money language: Money is something to be used for life. (and security as second)