To Get to Know Yourself, Be Curious and Walk Through Fear

GET STARTED With a FREE Preview to our 12 Basic Needs Course: bit.ly/3UQcWeq
Website: bit.ly/3ybk8Jf
Do You Have Complex Trauma? Take the QUIZ: bit.ly/3QGbzMV
*****
Personality tests can be helpful (and fun) tools to learn about yourself, but sometimes they can also reflect the masks you wear. You may even answer the questions in anticipation of what the 'right' answer is and what you think is expected of you. All that masking can make you forget - or never learn - who you are. Tim gives you a few questions to answer for yourself, and some encouraging words about how you can get started in getting to know yourself again in a healthy way.
See the full talk here: www.youtube.co....
Try a FREE Preview of One of Our Online Courses: bit.ly/3UQcWeq
*****
Become a Member!
Access ALL our Courses, Webinars, 1:1 Coaching, Group Coaching & Online Communities: bit.ly/3QIpDWf
Understand the Development of Complex Trauma in Your Life
Online Course: 12 Basic Needs
bit.ly/3UQcWeq
Discover how Addictions are Formed and Find Healthy Ways to Cope
Online Course: Addictions + Complex Trauma
bit.ly/4bbUYsL
Learn How to Parent Yourself and a Child with Complex Trauma
Online Course: Parent Bootcamp
bit.ly/44RpLJ7
Are You Ready to Begin YOUR Healing Journey? Inquire TODAY: bit.ly/3wE68at
Ready to Dig Deep and Learn Tools to Recover From the Negative Effects of Complex Trauma?
Online Course: LIFT Online Learning
bit.ly/4bwZ26I

[@M.I.R.K.A]

Ι have studied mental health counselling at a state University post-graduate level and I have studied even more at a personal level. I have done therapy, I have helped others receive therapy in a hospital setting. The detailed truths he knows and shares are so rare among publicly speaking mental health counsellors! I honestly cannot say if he is a good therapist in his private practice but what he shares here, on KZbin, is 100% honest. I have not met so far a more honest and elaborate publicly and for free speaking mental health therapist. He 100% knows what he is talking about. Another elaborate explanation but without Tim Fletcher's compassion, is by TheraminTrees channel on KZbin

[@LOVEISTRUTH300]

He is Amazing💖💖💖 Love Tim Fletcher!

[@annekary6190]

I agree ❤ a complete gift I'm a Healthcare professional and a super big mess and I have never witnessed such a teacher ❤❤❤ ❤ love ya brother Tim

[@CynthiaSchoenbauer]

He is not perfect, but he is sooo good that you wonder where he learned all of this. I am grateful for what he offers because I have not found so much helpful belief structure in one place.

[@victorbanfield2812]

Oh we know, lol he is blessed and fulling his Ministry 🙏🏽

[@pablotried2351]

He is excellent. Regarding your comment, he himself shows he is heavily influenced by Gabor Mate. Tim is a revelation though.

[@MissiJade]

I was diagnosed with CPTSD by multiple psychiatrists but not one ever explained how or why my current choices and behaviours were affected because of the abuse and abandonment I endured as a child. I have learned more from this wonderful man in three videos than I have in 25 years living with this debilitating diagnosis. The lack of knowledge of mental health professionals is staggering and the invalidity of how you are treated by these so called professionals is worse than the invalidation you receive from people who were supposed to raise you and keep you safe because this is their profession!!! They studied this and still they have absolutely no clue what to do with someone like me especially in Australia so no wonder why we numb and isolate ourselves. I’m 46 years old and I have zero family or friends and now I know why. We don’t want pity, we want understanding and connection to ourselves and others. We want to succeed in life. Thank you Mr Fletcher for giving me hope when I was almost done with life. I hope that your entire curriculum and teachings are taught at universities for our future generations of mental health professionals to actually understand how to give people hope. Thank you 🙏

[@shockingdocumentaries4255]

I’ve had the same experiences in my attempt trying to get help from therapist from the 6th grade. Told by my abusive parent it wouldn’t make a difference. Then getting counseling and told the only problem is I was talking about my problems. Apparently I wasn’t supposed to answer their QUESTION about what was wrong or talk at all during TALK therapy. It made it convenient to deny me help getting into a safe living environment and gaslight me. Years of trying to only be yelled at, have my abuse invalidated, and my distress seen as the problem has made my anxiety worse. I’ve been dehumanized and have anxiety attacks when I have to deal with these angry people using word salads and forcing me to “make a case” to get services I’m denied despite jumping through the hoops. While being yelled at for trying while blamed for not doing enough. Which lead to my recording the verbal and emotional abuse. I have proof that verbal abuse and denial of services is prevalent in the form of hundreds of hours of recording that prove people don’t CHOOSE to not get help. That’s just the victim blaming that DENIES you help, then spends money on behalf of these broke services telling that it’s your fault. Just like the people whose rights are violated and told it’s because THEY don’t know their rights. In fact it’s one and the same thing. Getting healthcare service is a HUMAN right. Especially when the doctor is CHARGING for services being denied. Especially since I’ve had the same issues with care for physical health problems like my collapsed lung. The hospital tried to discharge me without care even though they had an X-ray of my collapsed lungs, denied me answers after I made it clear that discharging me would lead to complaints. Ironically I than had to fight to LEAVE the hospital and get transferred. They only did so when I posted a video of 1 of the many incidents of being yelled at for a doctor for asking questions. Then on the day the transfer happened they said they weren’t going to send the paperwork to the health insurance company because they didn’t think they’d approve it. I had to point out that doctors can’t deny my paperwork on behalf of the insurance company. That goes against my rights. Somehow this hospital never got around to sending their bills to the health insurance company so it became my personal debt even though I had insurance that the facile hospital was able to use to charge me. Getting my medical records has been almost impossible. The people in my building have the same problem getting help with their complaints. Or even being notified about fires when they happen so we can evacuate. It’s a matter of apathy for treating people inhumanely that’s made worse for marganilized communities. People are mistreated and treated like it’s not happening and/or they did something to deserve it. Trying to get help only makes you vulnerable to the same abuse your trying to get help with. Based off my experience the problem with getting therapy is connected to apathy towards people in bad situations. The worse the situation the worse the “mistreatment” is. Which includes being charged for services denied that was supposed to be charge to the health insurance company and constitutes fraud as well as things like malfeasance, and inflicting emotional distress intentionally. Having proof matters as little as the laws being broken. Walking on eggshells begging for care still gets you yelled. Even if I just stick to this problem with getting therapy it’s clear that this is prevalent and systematic. Starting with the idea that all trauma is in the past and that you should depend on someone with the title of therapist blindly and not do your own research. The fact that the abuse may be coming from those supposed to help you and that their is a serious problem with getting care that helps, doesn’t seem to matter. Despite the fact that it’s so well known that many therapists are slightly off that we joke about hem being “quacks”. Even though they are human beings capable of CAUSING distress, people in those positions of authority are treated like they can do no wrong. It hard to get therapy if you can’t talk about your original problems or the difficulty addressing them without offending someone looking for an excuse to deflect and victim blame. I’ve been told the dangerous circumstances that includes 3 fires in 7 years, mice, plumbing problems that makes using the kitchen impossible and the bathroom a gamble, and I’m harassed for making complaints isn’t the problem. It’s the fact that isolate to avoid the harassment, have proof so it’s harder for the people who are supposed to help me deny it’s happening, and the fact that I had problems before. Which is why it’s ok for me to be in an unsafe situation where other people have DIED. that’s the dehumanizing parts. Thanks for mentioning your difficulties getting good therapy. If more people looked into these services they’d see it’s not the magic pill it’s treated as. It seems like we discouraged from talking about our experiences because it’s a way of erasing our pain while claiming people in distressing situations don’t get help because they are too distressed to make a clear case. Apparently the fact these distressing situations are ignored by ‘experts’ who are unable to see the obvious things common folks can see. Like the fact that living in a place with multiple fires aren’t safe. What do I have to say to make that clear to people who act like those things NEVER happen and get angry and yells when I offer to show them proof. I’m glad their are people who share information and encourage you to help your self. Getting the RIGHT information is more important than WHERE or WHO you get it from. These kinds of talks have confirmed what I known most of my life and given me clarity on others things. Being able share without defending my answers to someone asking questions and hear others share their experiences, is like group therapy. Thank you to EVERYONE involved helping to create a nurturing environment. ❤️‍🩹

[@jonkas4542]

I so relate to your story! I know what it's like to feel a million miles away from everyone.

[@beatsbyjoeezy1440]

Their job is to drug you up not help you

[@charlesdial7152]

You are absolutely right about what you said I now understand my situation much better than before, I do see changes slowly. I have been in a rut for along time and I have to reprogram my brain and body to be able to live and stop sabotaging myself for no reason 💯🙏💔

[@melissahunlock4589]

Girl i feel you i am in the same boat

[@AnusiaLA]

I think I’m an introvert. I’m extremely independent, rarely ask for help, I live alone, do well for myself. I can be alone all day every day… but I was visiting my best friend, her family, coworkers for 10 days and I feel fine afterwards. I didn’t feel drained or like I needed to be alone. I wonder if I’m truly an introvert or if I learned to be alone because I could never count on anyone and the people I let into my life would hurt me and disappoint me… When I was a kid I had friends and I was pretty social even thought a lot of people didn’t like me. I think I was just weird and different because of the bullshit going on with my family. I never felt like I belonged with regular people.

[@Lyrielonwind]

Same with me. Isolated in childhood but very extrovert since my teens. My final trauma which was when I realized how malignant is my family changed me dramatically. I went no contact and now I'm isolated but I think I'm becoming more avoidant. My last Myers and Brigg test said I am infj which spells trauma and the favourite personality type of predator. What I know for sure is; I'm not shy or a real introvert, I have social anxiety due to so much abuse, betrayal and smears campaigns. It feels I can't get out of the scapegoat role no matter where I go.

[@tanyalucia9106]

I relate

[@andreamagyar5541]

avoidant?

[@toaalta]

Sounds like Ti-Fe user

[@jaijai8829]

I seee many people out there with similar problemns like mine! I don t feel so alone anymore!

[@JF098]

Some people choose answers they aspire to be, not what they really are.

[@asimfarooqi4998]

Hi tim! I am a college student getting out of poly addiction and cptsd your videos help me a lot! Thank you for this service

[@milliewoo337]

I’ve never heard anyone express it as poly addiction but I can see how that would be true. Anyway, praying for you on your path to freedom

[@Triadistic]

I recently saw a video about the meyers briggs INFJ personality, it was served to me by youtube cause I watch lots of video's on recovering from complex trauma. It struck me that the INFJ personality is almost exactly like the symptoms most victims of abuse tell about in the comments and like my own! Then i saw some info on how this personality was the most rare... so I immedeadly thought that it is not a personality but the symptoms of the abuse.

[@aprilmg7072]

I made this connection as well. It's the symptoms of dissociation, neglect, and parentification.

[@ashleytheseeker8480]

This is why i HATE taking personality tests!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could never freaking choose!!

[@bc4yt]

😂👍

[@toaalta]

Use interaction styles by Linda berens it's more accuraye

[@rhondan1280]

Wow am always learning something new. These are super informative. And yes! I have taken multiple tests, and it depends on my mood for how I feel that day. Many of my answers can EASILY change. I am on a new journey of healing and these videos are like gold to me. Thank u🙏🏼

[@louisestaats234]

Yes, I keep saying, "Oh, wow, oops, humm...."

[@rhondan1280]

@@louisestaats234 am like, how does he know me and can explain my life with ease, I couldn't do it by myself. Our mental health services are really lacking. I'm 48 and learning this! 😯

[@susansilvey1614]

Love Love Love Tim

[@aprilswill9204]

Thank you so much. I thought I would figure this out sooner. I knew I needed safe people who didn’t trigger my shame from childhood. Wow what a confirmation.

[@vblock_zaza]

after of your interview with Theo, I came here and give sub for sure. cheers Tim, great work. 😊

[@lifeisbeautiful7047]

Exaaaactely ! As an INTP I still hate my introversion; and used to talk a lot to not feel rejected. And sometimes I fear being abandoned for being boring because of my introversion. But now I'm praising myself for my listening skills, and not being impulssive. I'm still not completely at peace with my introversion.

[@nataliatrumpo3893]

Thank you, Tim!!! I honestly have benefited SO SO MUCH from your videos and thoughtful insight.

[@comnandmentsdeadlysins]

So true. This topic I have seen as a tool. There is only one true human personality. Owning it makes it easy to see what others do not see.

[@kerri-anneparkes5550]

Thank you so much for sharing this 😭🙏🏾

[@fatumakim4217]

This is something i have noticed along my recovery somethings that i thought i was i am now finding out i wasnt. Like i was wearing a mask but then that mask has intergrated and now i am all the things and somewhere in between

[@Sarnican]

Yes to every question depending on the situation and how I feel. Often coming down to being at work vs home.

[@michelecole362]

Wow. I always had such a hard time with those tests. I always had more than one answer.

[@anaclara6909]

Speaking for myself, introversion traits intensifies when I'm feeling insecure, and I think that deep there it can be linked with the neurotic response

[@lifeisbeautiful7047]

At first they helped me find back my authenticity & accept what I used to reject about myself .. but then it started to become a cage; I found myself embracing flows that I've outgrown decades ago like laziness & emotional detachement. Now I no longer use it as an identity

[@martingd777]

Another banger. Thank you Tim ❤

[@rg1whiteywins598]

Im an introvert born to two total extroverts. But i think much of that is from how we are raised. Im an only child, parents were cold and abusive, parents had siblings.

[@merrycristy]

I thought I was introvert until a found a very inclusive and welcoming group...it changed my perception. There are just a lot of jerks , unpleasant or just alienated people out there..

[@isabelkelly7717]

I'm not an introvert or an extrovert. I'm not shy. I do appreciate my alone time. I enjoy others just not everyday of my life.

[@SampsonAndBeasley]

My favorite term for this: androvert :)

[@robwilkinson8547]

@@SampsonAndBeasley ambivert

[@toaalta]

Sounds like ISTP

[@quantinajones2857]

Same

[@isabelkelly7717]

@@toaalta define, please and thank you?

[@melissaturner7636]

I thought I used to be an INFP, then as an Adult an ENFP-A now after working through trauma and meeting with a personality expert who taught me that was my survival mask and aim actually an ENTJ-A

[@manixburn6403]

If i have an advice, walk trough fear is important but give yourself greatest tools to help. Many plants called adaptogen are extremely useful. Ashwagandha and Rhodiole for example. Those can change everything in the ressource you have, i might even totally negate stress responses, keeping all your cognitive ressources to grown in face of. Neurosis circuits don't have to be fed and re-enforced during healing process, in fact, the contrary. Work for me, as expected, cptsd off. Can only regret not having them before, giving kind of a blank page to write from. Still our world and culture (human) is hell by design.

[@Lyrielonwind]

I don't think in Europe you can be treated with ayahuasca in a safe therapeutic environment. Can you do it in the US? Just being curious because I don't have the means to go there.

[@manixburn6403]

@@Lyrielonwind I speak about plant that are not for trip or psychotrope, just excellent nervous system support. Getting out of ptsd was impossible for me without those plant. For exploration there is psylocibin mushroom, which is smooth, no risk (microdosing) and easy to get, even if illegal. But abuse on universal scale is legal, so... Small step are good step.

[@erik_1953]

I retired a few years ago. And suddenly, all the expectations from people around me are 0. And I think, what is that I want??????

[@gins8781]

All of the above.

[@tennesseerose6400]

I'm painfully shy and can't connect with others ,who can't enjoy being alone ..........

[@Spritual-life-lessons]

How do I trust ppl at work ? They are not there to love me or guide me??? I fail at jobs and making connections at work place. I do have a few connections outside and they are also because of my own strengths which they don’t to loose but does that mean they love me or respect me??? Not sure, I think it’s more like using me for my skill sets.

[@susansilvey1614]

This drives me crazy!!! It depends on the circumstances not A or B!!! so FWORD frustrating

[@Lyrielonwind]

Most tests are like that because it's about tendencies. What do you usually do/like but don't view what particular people you would like to meet with or the weather (in rainy days you might not want to spend time outside, for instance.

[@user_abcxyzz]

It's not* circumstantial. What do you choose most of the time...that's your answer. Most people know right away.

[@tamelashafer8852]

I have experienced both depending on various occasions…

[@rachaelmacnair7133]

It's so funny, 10 years ago I'd take one of those tests and it'd be the exact opposite of my answers now. It's my mom's birthday today, she died 4 months ago and I think I'm just starting to realize who I actually am Found you through Theo Von and these vids have been so helpful ty ❤

[@elsien17]

Good content but respectfully disagree on accuracy and value of personality tests, especially the controversial MB which has been debunked as false science. They can provide vocab to speak about personality characteristics but should not be used as a measure of a person’s character.

[@bc4yt]

Here's a question: if we have fairly even answers, are we a) a balanced person, or b) everyone is weighted toward extra/introvert, and mixed answers means we have a lot of masks that are covering our authentic self? 🤔

[@almostfamous791]

So what am I if I got 3 As and 4 Bs

[@AlyssaSummey]

And if I can be both, depending on the situation, rather than one or the other...?

[@flamechick6]

Oh Lord I feel like I would choose "all of the above " 😂😅

[@kendralewis5883]

@9:26 natural wiring.

[@susansilvey1614]

Fabulous woman advertising RTT

[@yn6164]

Personality tests never work for me, I can’t even answer those questions asked in the video. I either don’t know, how I am, what I like etc. or I am both. I feel that there is no stability to my person. No stable core.

[@thinkingallowed1st]

Im empathetic and logical

[@1Gr8Editrix]

I feel like I'm somewhere in the middle. These questions are so binary.

[@fatumakim4217]

I think we all are. Very rarely will someone be one thing

[@user_abcxyzz]

The point is to answer as to which one DOMINATES. nobody is straight down the middle.

[@susansilvey1614]

Have 5 back up plans; it's necessary because "you can't put all your eggs in one basket"-one of them might work

[@xorqwerty8276]

Nature vs nuture

[@tmking7483]

Thats why i always let another do my personality tests_ im the funnest person i know

[@tmking7483]

Thats why I always let someone else's do my personality tests _ im the funniest person i ever met

[@lblincoe2094]

Man, this test has no nuance! Every question just presented a false dichotomy for me to choose from and I couldn't pick anything because the reality of who I am quite literally wasn't an option! Not everyone is going to be "really" this or "very" that, personality doesn't just exist in the extremes, and yes, it matters!

[@salgar1234]

Is this man a Follower of Jesus Christ? Is he a blood bought, forgiven sinner?

[@vickijoy3701]

Thank you for sharing your experience and wisdom.

[@aquariusstar7248]

Im excited to see this! Took an Enneagram test and knew from the results it was not right. I had to do some digging around to figure out the right one. I knew this was because of my maladaptiions to cope in society as a child. I had to do a presentation onit and i think i threw everyone off with my dispute with the test results😂 My mentor, who is a specialist in the enneagram, was able to confirm my insights later on.

[@psycherevival2762]

I don’t know if it’s at black and white as being an introvert or an extravert. Maybe it depends on who you’re spending time with. If you’re spending a lot of time with healthy people, then I would say you’d be more likely to lean into connection however, if you tend to hang out with people who drain you because drama kings and queens, then you probably need a lot of alone time. I used to be a lot more extroverted, but in recent years, I have become a lot more solitary. This solitude is more of a reaction to the environment/people around me and not necessarily my ideal choice.

[@raneicenewmesparks]

What if you have a duality of both. I need both 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@fatumakim4217]

I think we all have a bit of both

[@user_abcxyzz]

As a 1000% introvert, I cannot see your perspective. Need me alone time 24/7. In fact, solitary confinement is what I yearn for 😂

[@elizabethl3918]

So Tom, what if we answer like an A and a 1/2 on every question? Because I have never had to answer harder questions in my life. Did you just secretly slip us an astronaut spaceship smart person exam 💀🥵

[@xorqwerty8276]

It depends

[@Sleeprocket1]

God i wish i was an extrovert

[@Pure.Freaking.Meredith]

I love people. But I also love my alone time. I like to share my thoughts and feelings. And I like to have time to sit with them by myself. What am I? A mess Apparently I am a mess

[@Pure.Freaking.Meredith]

I love spontaneous days and trips and I also enjoy planning everything out sometimes😂🥴 Both give me joy. Plan some days especially when busy or emotional but love go with the flow days especially if the day is going well. I am both practical and highly creative. Lol I enjoy life and I enjoy analyzing it too🥴❤️😂 I don't know is the picture fun enough to color in the lines? 😅 I lead and follow easily. I am a big picture gal who like to break down the steps. I love to learn by doing, hearing, reading watching. The personality tests frustrate me because I want to answer so many questions with multiple answers. I think I need to reiterate Perhaps I am just A mess.

[@JoePAcalaughs]

​@@Pure.Freaking.Meredith I would so date you. 😁

[@mihaelamcrae8770]

So, what happens when none of the options offered apply?

[@arianebennion]

Neither area feels comfortable for me. I behave in all of these ways because of programming but I never feel like I behaved appropriately afterwards. I developed shame about every situation once it's passed because I don't know if I was authentic or appropriate. I'm a chameleon, a shape shifter because no mold fits.

[@user_abcxyzz]

By that response, I can tell that you're a people pleaser.

[@FrankF-vp4pt]

Thank you !

[@CamStubbs]

Nope, I still hate that I am introverted but I also don’t want to interact with people. I connect with animals in way most can’t. Introversion doesn’t affect the harmonious energetic exchange between human and animal… I believe there is a reason behind dog being spelt inverse of god 😘

[@rockymountainwoman2618]

Too binary!

[@CynthiaSchoenbauer]

Sometimes I want to say BOTH or NEITHER.

[@tamelashafer8852]

I color on the lines dark and the color inside the lines and blend colors with various variations in dark/light shading… fading.. blending.. 🙃