Top 5 Norm Macdonald's Longest jokes | 33 minutes of Norm Macdonald |

[@tristramcoffin926]

Norm lived his whole life and never killed a woman in cold blood. Rest in peace.

[@brianderx]

What do you mean Rest in peace? "He's dead?! I didn't even know he was sick...." ~Norm

[@Kurdt1]

Or so the Germans would have us believe

[@DanielWidrew]

but if we find out he did, what a punchline!

[@matthewjacobs3872]

He was a better man than me that’s for damn sure

[@trippytradingcards7852]

We know one thing for sure if he did ever murder a women; he would not leave her in a shallow grave.

[@arturocaissut1071]

My favourite detail is the miners calling Uncle Hector "Uncle Hector".

[@robmitchell3864]

😃😄😂

[@dennissalazar5866]

God! Missed that!😂

[@737Adventures]

Who was from the cousins side of the family 😂

[@BobekT]

Thats just a miner detail

[@tylerdrechsel8840]

I noticed that mid joke and started laughing my head off too😂

[@jairkerker2821]

I swear, I can tell _any_ Norm joke and leave a room full of people in dead silence.

[@manuvikramsingh6685]

I wouldn't boast about that. I would take that to the grave .

[@peterlafrankie7224]

I do the dirty johnny one too random new people at work and the only joy is my friend I work with gets a kick out of it everytime but always blank stares

[@joelabacherli1310]

Christ, I tried one his short ones at work a while ago and got absolutely nothing. Practiced it and everything. Still bombed. Id never attempt one of his marathon jokes.

[@warriorinagarden7573]

@@joelabacherli1310 that's exactly the response you should be looking for. Whenever I tell one of his jokes I tell it more for myself than anybody else. You've got to know that people usually won't end up gut laughing - but that's not the point. Good luck, my friend!

[@TheEpicFaliGamer]

There nothing I love more than going up in front of a quiet audience and through my comedy slowly turning them into an unruly mob

[@Jason15Cooke]

“You damn fool that’s Kitchener Leslee’s girlfriend!” Worst time to be inhaling smoke.

[@marcholland1554]

I remember telling that joke in college in the early 80s

[@MakimaMelee]

"I feel like I should be tucked into bed listening to you" Conan is completely right, that's exactly what I'm doing right now and it's great.

[@cryterion7770]

Lol same right now

[@NostramoNox]

Same

[@hunterkirkham4108]

@@NostramoNoxd 😊❤ess zffhf as s❤uu

[@James_Bee]

Yup. Had to leave though for fear that my poopy attempts at stifling my laughter would wake the missus.

[@shoujahatsumetsu]

@@James_Bee I usually reserve that for my poopy attempts at pooping, but I see it might come handy in other situations too

[@milosterwheeler2520]

"Even in today's enlightened society, it remains a stigma to be a psycho-sexual sadist."

[@Kurdt1]

Don’t I know it

[@jamesprior2496]

It ain't over yet!

[@Oleg_K.]

I didn't even know you guys were sick.

[@travispalma6554]

"...then i'd bury her in a very, very, deep grave." Honestly the guy was a genius

[@brianmathews2926]

He’s so unsure about his sexuality, he’s mad at me because I jizzed all over his face

[@MB-jq1uh]

The opening joke 'no, no, he's my uncle from cousin's side' went by so quickly that only a select few in the audience got it, and that really gets the dynamic going, he's such a natural talker, great stuff

[@geniebison]

There's a real stream of consciousness thing going on

[@Alex_Chilton]

I mean - my cousin has an uncle that is not my uncle? Is that REALLY a joke? I also have an aunt that is not their aunt. That’s what happens when siblings have children

[@Alex_Chilton]

@@mobilegameclips5628 are yall dense? My cousin, has a father, that has a brother, THAT IS NOT RELATED TO ME BY BLOOD, is my cousins uncle. Seems like you might be a visual learner… Draw out a family tree. You may also be shocked to learn that I have an aunt that is not my cousins aunt! How, you may ask?! Because my father has a sister, but my aunt is not my cousins aunt. Simple relationships.

[@objectionablycurious]

@@mobilegameclips5628 i mean technically, cousin's uncle may very well be the sibling of their parent not related to you by blood. there's nothing specifically saying he's related

[@willm678]

@@Alex_ChiltonIt’s funny because it’s a totally pointless detail. If he said he was an uncle from his mothers side or his fathers side, it would actually clarify something. But saying he’s “from his cousins side” doesn’t explain anything about uncle hector other than that he’s his uncle. It’s just so random and doesn’t mean anything lol

[@tylerphillips503]

His longest joke turned out to be "I didn't even know he was sick"

[@T25de]

Well played norm

[@cmcapps1963]

Heartbreaking, dark, and brilliant. Mr. Macdonald in a nutshell.

[@1SqueakyWheel]

He'd have loved it.

[@ericfarrar6607]

Bro.

[@oakpoacher433]

Except it was funny when Norm said it.

[@roskypolkerkan8355]

You have to understand that Norm didn't GAF to the point of if he killed at a club most nights, after getting off stage he'd go back to the green room and play cards....but if he bombed, sometimes on purpose, he'd actually go to the front door and shake every person's hand as they left. For real.

[@jacobtuttle6063]

If he didn’t care he wouldn’t go and shake peoples hands after he bombs

[@jamesb6857]

@@jacobtuttle6063bots bots bots more bots

[@jessemitchell5764]

Legend

[@Preston241]

Even without a source I believe it. Such a Norm thing to do. Hilarious.

[@rickshawwheelchair]

I wish I met him!

[@chamuuemura5314]

You hear only 1 Norm joke and you think he’s one of the worst comics ever. You hear 5 Norm jokes and like a good fungus he grows on you and you think he’s one of the best comics ever.

[@nicksinger1698]

I saw one Norm clip before I got into him years ago and I thought it was the stupidest anti-humor ever. Then I later understood

[@jamesprior2496]

Exactly what I was going to post!

[@professor_of_logic]

I know what are you talking about...btw, he was not "one of the best comics ever"! He was one of a kind!

[@TypicalAmericanCitizen]

My first Norm joke was the Courtney Thorn interview, when he said “Bored spelled B O R E D” I geeked

[@ljragsandfeathers]

@@TypicalAmericanCitizenThank you, A level of genius ne’er surpassed

[@maushardt13]

"You weren't gay,,,, you were raped" God I miss Norm sooooo much, Comic gold!!!!!

[@gpwcowboy]

That was him making up for saying Andy loves gay porn. Like 10 times before.

[@garbo7779]

Cuz Andy Richter don’t go for that funny stuff neither

[@MightyChewbacca]

It was a good ending

[@jeremywilliams2898]

The Andy Swedish German joke is one of the best jokes I've ever heard in my life not necessarily because the joke itself is so funny but the execution is unbelievable.

[@TylerDurden-ch9ml]

And, the punchline is rape and you can't not laugh.

[@bryanarnold1149]

But that is Norm in a nutshell!

[@FR-ph]

He wasn’t gay

[@joe-zj8js]

​@@FR-ph exactly. He wasn't gay just deeply closeted.

[@lethalwolf7455]

@@joe-zj8js I’m not so sure, but my friend at the University of Science is trying to figure it out

[@cruz1ale]

"I won't say the name of the mining company, it was MacIntyre Mine"

[@overclucker]

That's how genius he was.

[@borealranger9763]

That’s a real and well-storied mine up in Timmins, Ontario.

[@sweatywraith8242]

LMAO reminds me of Kanye's "I'm not gonna say what kind of doctor..."

[@evanblythe2283]

​@@sweatywraith8242I thought the same thing. Would be crazy if Kayne was here.

[@Jacob-2796]

@@overcluckerpeople do that construction all the time, he was a genius but not cos of this line

[@renbelmont]

"my uncle on my cousin's side" is so funny

[@qwerty722]

The answer to the riddle (other than some taxi driver in NY) was an uncle, too Norm maintained the uncle was the funniest family member

[@michaels4683]

I love how a top five norm Macdonald jokes compilation, is longer then 30 minutes.

[@SaulmanPhishbass]

and the Moth Joke wasn't even part of the top 5 !! 😭

[@harrymultani6877]

@@SaulmanPhishbass reminds me of another terrible tragedy.

[@drew1467]

It’s a “Top 5 Norm MacDonald’s LONGEST jokes” compilation

[@lethalwolf7455]

That serial killer joke is the ultimate proof that Norm could make absolutely anything funny!

[@callmeshaggy5166]

It was more of a factoid

[@robertfaulkner1824]

@@callmeshaggy5166yeah there was no joke there… also Albert Fish was real. The other comedian was like “now I know there was no Albert fish I would have heard about it”. I doubt he killed 700 but still very real

[@twotoekenn]

It's infotainment!

[@Bonn1770]

"You're thinking like Albert Fish now!" I'm dying

[@CaseyWinehouse]

“Do that thing that makes me feel like God.” I’ve heard it a dozen times and it still catches me off guard every time.

[@tolep]

That Albert Fish guy... at least he wasn't a hypocrite.

[@josephbroadwell2930]

That’s the worst part

[@danielgadomski5129]

Ya know, the more I hear about this Albert Fish guy, the less I care for him!

[@LolaLaRue-sq6jm]

Norm MacDonald as Burt Reynolds on Celebrity Jeopardy is still the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. I have to keep stopping the video so I don't pass out from lack of oxygen.

[@danburns4003]

Norm mascdonalds as turd ferguson you mean 😂😂

[@Storm88000]

“Who is Andre the Giant.”

[@RosieManilow]

Burt with that gigantic cowboy hat. lol. 🤠

[@authaire]

"I always tell that guy, you shouldn't curse so much" lmao excellent save Norm

[@KravistDillonT]

Norm MacDonald saying “come on man, that’s not funny” makes me instantly laugh quite a bit more than I already was.

[@SaltBhj]

I remember the moment I first heard the Albert Fish story, I was in the bathroom at my university and I was so invested in that story that by the time Norm went “this guy was a real JERK!” I bursted laughing that when I got out of the bathroom stall people were looking at me odd. Anyway, it was a nice meal.

[@laughassembly853]

Haha the timing is perfect haha thanks dude for tuning in I remember you from the previous video 🙏

[@davidpinette9656]

Looked at you odd? Just like adam egrett when he doesn't complete his duty under the Queensborough bridge

[@TylerDurden-ch9ml]

That's the part that made you laugh? I die when he says "Now you're thinking like Albert Fish. Nobody cares about prostitutes".

[@SaltBhj]

@@TylerDurden-ch9ml that’s offensive

[@brianderx]

​@@SaltBhjyeah. It's offensive to say you "die" every time when you are still in fact alive. Very deceased-phobic humor there ... shame! 🙃

[@gsutton219]

I love that Norm and Conan were so close. I also love that I can’t do any of these jokes with my friends because no ever laughs

[@TheDaveBloom]

I don’t know, I was like 11, and the first time I saw Norm was on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, and Regis asked him of that was his final answer, and he goes “What do you think I’m stupid?” And I was hooked on the funniest man ever to walk this planet. RIP.

[@dennissalazar5866]

Without question!

[@aaronbaron3155]

Nobody got Conan to stand up and kick stuff like ol' Norm...😂😂😂😂

[@samsungjamuna9906]

Nope.Sarah Silverman did more.

[@zachmorgan6982]

As soon as norm hears the word family everything about his real life goes out the window and he's just thinks of the funniest joke That can be told about a family that doesn't exist. It's actually quite simple but brilliant

[@MrFusion]

18:30 i don't know what it is, but him stumbling and restarting the sentence just makes the delivery so much funnier

[@Iamthatmike]

It was intentional. He's the GOAT, he knew that would be the best delivery.

[@MarceloLibermandeLoreto]

The fact that he make anything funny only by timing is the proof how genius he was.

[@Txdvsz]

Norm was one of the most unique and genius comics ever. Will never be another one like him.

[@jtapia1123]

“The most toothsome dish in all of gastronomy” 😂

[@Wordgoblin]

As someone who loves telling these kinds of jokes, there is a particular joy of winding the audience over and around, up and down, and they _know_ you're telling a joke, and their _waiting_ for a punchline that is going to make them think, or for the punchline to catch them off guard. Then you hit them with that groaner that makes people at the same time hate you, and love the fact that you just wasted their time with something they laughed at anyway.

[@ValensBellator]

I will forever be grateful to Conan for making the time and space for these jokes to actually get aired 😂

[@thomasesr]

Wow! 33 minutes of Norm McDonald jokes, that's like 3 jokes! 😊

[@notachannel7495]

This man was a genius in so many ways. He worked on a different level from the rest of us. Highly skilled comedians, who are a breed of their own, couldn't keep up with Norm. The smartest of them sat back and let Norm fill the room with his words.

[@puertoboboche]

I love his buildup to the punchline and his French Canadian accent was very good.

[@lisbetsoda4874]

It wasn't French Canadian, it was real English Canadian

[@puertoboboche]

​@@lisbetsoda4874 He was doing a French Canadian speaking english .. c'est plus clair pour toi ?

[@jeffreyamster6020]

Gaspe’ is really a City in extreme Northeastern Quebec, at the tip of the Gaspe Peninsula

[@edwardwong654]

Love Norm. I wish he could have stayed around long enough for OJ's passing.

[@paulooliveira3042]

"Now OJ can rest in piece knowing that his wife's murderer has finally died"

[@AKA_Maple]

@@paulooliveira3042I’ll never forget when I heard OJ had passed this same joke was under the twitter post with a picture of norm on weekend with a picture of OJ behind him and the biggest smile on his face. I know he would’ve made this joke if he was still with us today

[@Jake-t9s]

Love norm - half an hour for 5 jokes.

[@WackityWhiz2]

*half a hour

[@Jake-t9s]

@@WackityWhiz2 no

[@WackityWhiz2]

​@@Jake-t9s I was quoting Norm ;)

[@thecreamyone3606]

My fav Long Norm joke isnt on here....The New Neighbor whos a professor of Logic Joke 😂 Best Ever!!!

[@robertedson2374]

How about the midget joke!?? LOL!!

[@michaelbarton9632]

Would that be the Professor of Logic from The University of Science? 😂

[@thecreamyone3606]

@@michaelbarton9632 The one n only...

[@trippytradingcards7852]

On a side note; do you own a doghouse?

[@Alexandrecivpoa]

Great joke, but not original. I’ve known this joke for over 35 years

[@TJamieson-q5j]

Funniest man who ever lived.

[@SKR_89]

Coming back to videos of norm is just a nice comfortable place. Makes me happy

[@JacobConkin]

I wonder if that last clip about "hope" was a silent hint saying "dont try hope, it never works out" in reference to his cancer diagnosis. You could see he dropped hints in the later stage of his cancer when he was telling jokes. I relate to him as i also have cancer in the pancreas and liver. We miss you norm ❤

[@kimcantswim174]

How are you doing now, Jacob? You okay?

[@Jona-cn3le]

I wish you the best Jacob

[@warframehunter7298]

Hope you're well Jacob

[@Vamos82]

The longest joke/prank he ever pulled was keeping his illness to himself! You have to admire someone capable of that, making people laugh was his medicine, I love him so much

[@petek210]

"Her ridiculous three-colored ball" made me spit toothpaste all over the floor

[@fernandoparadacastillo5901]

I told the "pig with a wooden leg" joke once. I still can't believe it was a success. R.I.P. Norm, i hope i made you proud, you old chunk of coal.

[@laughassembly853]

Oh really haha that's awesome. I might try the gold chain one. just kidding lol R.I.P Norm.

[@fernandoparadacastillo5901]

@@laughassembly853 hahahaha the reaction from the public would be the punchline

[@e7m10]

“You’re thinking like Albert Fish now” 😂😂😂 omg I love the Albert Fish segment lmao

[@iamtheiconoclast3]

Janice is the funniest goddamn bit any comedian has ever written.

[@MiloDC]

@ 15:38 "Don't laugh at this next part..." I totally lost it. 😂😂 Laughed so hard my abs got sore. Not sure why but I think that Fred Stoller immediately busting up was a factor.

[@Confused_Philosopher]

Andy Rickter the Swedish German joke is now legend.

[@Danny-wv8ec]

RIP Norm, my dad was diagnosed with cancer 6 months ago and damn it's stressful, it pains me to say this coz he's my work partner and my best friend but the battle will end draw.

[@pastapocha5708]

❤️keep it up

[@stephenpalmer8054]

No stand up has ever stolen a Norm Macdonald joke...it is impossible

[@StevenBanks123]

Conan helping with a joke is like a gardener tromping on sprouts shouting”grow faster!”

[@chinaman1]

His vancouver island trip recounting was amazing. I go back to it whenever I need a laugh.

[@lroman384]

Never saw a comedian make other great comedians laugh as hard or as much as Norm did.. we miss you Legend

[@professor_of_logic]

Yeah, that's my Hero!!!

[@Tonyhouse1168]

You know, no matter how hard a day is or how dark life gets sometimes or if I know tomorrow’s gonna be a struggle or if I’m trying to juggle 10 things with only two hands, I can think of Norm and I’m comforted by one thing…. …we’ve both heard the word “deficit”.

[@jennifertimlin1371]

Andy Richter to this day still hates that joke. And that’s what makes it funny.

[@laughassembly853]

He did him dirty lol

[@marklandfridae8913]

There is a word in Danish. The word is "Plat" there is no direct word to word translastion into English, but the best translatioin is " a joke that is funnier for the tellerof said joke than for the audience" Norm was the king of this type of comedy. RIP NORM

[@laughassembly853]

One word for a whole sentence. Interesting. Well Norm had a lot of "Plat"s lol

[@randyj420]

Gotta thank Conan and others that let Norm do his thing. I believe the night he did the Moth Joke on Conanan he had to do a 2nd segment of time and decided to tell it long in the 2nd segment as he didn't have enough prepared material for that set.

[@Ludifant]

Nobody noticed he messed up the riddle, twice... "Brothers and sisters I have none, but this man is my father's son." Then the answer is "me". If the riddle really was "... this man's father is my father's son", there is some midwest stuff going on. @12:32 and 11:32

[@bryankorenberg6256]

Sheer tyranny of will

[@Mrbriar]

One of my favorite quotes.

[@suggestedusername6662]

Albert Fish story being in the birthday section is golden. He literally couldn’t miss😂😂😂

[@bamleith3095]

Andy richter not getting the joke makes the Swedish german joke 1000x better

[@arnaldolopez116]

For many, this is the length of a comedy special

[@Alex-mw1uu]

I wish I could move through life with Norm's energy.

[@chefremses9110]

An ad came on right after Norm says "are you kidding me"! Incredible timing XD

[@pandamator]

Andy Richter is so pissed. I love it

[@leaffinite2001]

Im convinced that the first joke was meant to be shorter but he extended it when conan mentioned kitchener leslie early

[@im__contributing]

needed a five minute and fifty second norm joke today

[@saulteanuts-vg8iu]

Kitchener Leslie is still crackin' heads up here in Kitchener. He's 110 years old, hits like a sack of bricks.

[@unclecreepy4185]

That curse word was cut out so well that at first I didn’t understand the reaction of everyone. I thought they truly lost it at the punchline.

[@anthonycorsi6409]

Greatest talk show guest ever!!

[@Kurdt1]

You mean Courtney Thorne Smith

[@richminor3081]

What a world treasure Norm was , and will continue to be !!!

[@patrickvalentino600]

Conan saying "I'm trying to help you out" to Norm is like your classmate who failed algebra saying "I'm trying to help you out" to Stephen Hawking

[@nyChannel09]

The first joke was just a joke about the mine. The whole setup about how his uncle got to the mine is totally not needed, and thats why its so funny. You could literally start listening at 3:29, which is were average people wouldve started telling the joke.

[@Kurdt1]

You forgot not to mention the name of the MacIntyre mine

[@JeffWiersma]

They have a law of their own … the railroad cops

[@grizzlywhisker]

I feel like that joke could have been so much better if he had briefly brought Kitchner Leslie back into the story to remind the listener that he's the antagonist (beyond just being this mythical sort of railroad cop that's mentioned in the beginning,) and if he had added a quick anecdote where someone tells Uncle Hector that Kitchner Leslie has a fat girlfriend that nobody likes. Then it could have legitimately worked when he drops the punchline as you realize she's so fat/ugly that Uncle Hector mistook her for a pig lol... But honestly the fact that it was so nonsensical and seemingly made up on the spot made it great in its own way.

[@TheGenedon]

I think it's also a way to get everyone invested to the point where Conan can't break off the story anymore at 'we have sex with animals here'. If the joke starts there he might have changed topics but when the joke has been going for 3 minutes you can't get away with that..

[@martincrossing8245]

​@@grizzlywhiskerthats the beauty of the joke. If you mention that kitchner leslie has a fat girlfriend the audience may deduce the punchline of the joke. The joke wouldnt be effective if you could guess what the punchline is.

[@calsavestheworld]

Hope is what puts the sting in disappointment.

[@brettpettinger9200]

Where's the moth joke, the university of science. Yes the Janice joke was a theme, but it just shows how his delivery and comic brilliance could make it all come together.

[@JETZcorp]

I'm actually quite glad that the usual suspects were missing. We've all heard the moth joke, Uncle Terry in Vietnam, the dog house, and the Youthful Porpoise a thousand times. These slightly deeper cuts were refreshing.

[@LightS_bRight]

Norm really made us cry snd laugh. His a artist amongst legends. We all miss you Norm. Many of us will cry and laugh for as long as we live ❤😢

[@aarong5115]

The comedians comedian. What a legend 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Thanks Norm put so many smiles on people's faces what a dude 😎

[@unclecreepy4185]

The good thing about Norm, after it was revealed he murdered all those women and buried them in very very deep graves,, was he wasn’t a hypocrite.

[@deeboy4378]

Why does Norm remind me of a Drunk uncle

[@goger282]

"well, i have shorter ones but..." genius

[@sarcasmo57]

Nailed every one.

[@sammckay542]

Some of his jokes never ended

[@grizzlywhisker]

Not Kitchner Leslie's pig... Kitchner Leslie's LADY!

[@sickntired6241]

My god the vanished Janis is pure f ing gold!! So brilliant

[@brockobama257]

Norm and Mitch had such strange joke formats and I love them both even though they are polar opposites

[@justinknight3737]

I love norm and Conan’s chemistry

[@carlwinslo]

"You werent gay. You were RAPED!" lmao! Man i miss Norm.

[@djvycious]

The '12 minute joke' will never get old to me. My partner's name is Janice and I cannot tell you how many times I play it for her.

[@georgesotiriou7051]

If you don't think Norm Macdonald is a genius then you and I will have to agree to disagree.

[@laughassembly853]

No I don't agree to disagree. And i'm a jewish doctor

[@kainhingle4969]

Was he good at math or something"?

[@georgesotiriou7051]

@@kainhingle4969 Better than Matthew Perry

[@josephbroadwell2930]

Are you gonna bring up the holocaust every time

[@josephbroadwell2930]

Are you gonna bring up the holocaust every time

[@johnlillyblad5188]

3:15 "It's coal-y" haha!

[@gary_stavropoulos]

Here is the difference between hobos, tramps and bums A hobo is someone that travels and works. A tramp is someone that travels but doesn’t work. While a bum doesn’t work or travel.

[@chunkymonkey3594]

I found Albert Fish's crimes hard to listen too but Norm still made me laugh like a train.

[@AKA_Maple]

3:20 “it’s not coal-ly it’s coal infested it’s coal ridden” I love the thought that coal is just this nuisance the miners have to get rid of

[@venchee4906]

That last joke, oh my gosh. He is so missed.

[@pedroaguia8]

Top 5 jokes: 33 minutes lmao

[@sleddy01]

Starts with 'Let me ask you quickly....'

[@Nano0k]

One of my favorite Norm moments was his throwaway line in the serial killer bit where he follows his targets habits, and her Weds. nights girls basketball game at the YWCA, "which is fine nowadays...."