Trump Is Flipping Out Over Rumors Cohen Is Flipping

[@xenithil1750]

I'm going to miss this era just cause of you Stephen. You will be a historic personality that the future will recognize as being a light hearted comedian who dealt with this tragedy in the best way possible.

[@danielcrow6219]

No one seems to have mentioned the fact that the President has admitted that Cohen has something to flip.

[@maggierezac5820]

+Daniel Crow, MSNBC was all over it last night! That's why tRump's former lawyer, Jay Goldstein, started to 'flip' the narrative to read that if Cohen did 'flip', it would be a 'false confession'. Nice try at strategy but, not so strong when the prosecutors have the {no doubt} HUGE amount of digital & print evidence of everything Cohen has done and/or said. ...allegedly... Peace.

[@dannykumite]

Everyone is guilty of something if investigated. The question is decree. Muellet doesn't give a shit about porn stars and Michael Cohen. Mueller is aiming higher. Butt he's smart enough to let someone else aim low just in case.

[@dudev]

Mueller does care about Cohen paying off porn stars. The tools of espionage are blackmail and money. Cohen has many family and business connections in the Ukraine and Russia. Where did all the money come from to pay off Trump women?

[@Elegant_Sausage]

Oh my God, I know what you mean. The freaking implication of that way of speaking. It's so obvious.

[@quuks]

@@maggierezac5820 peace mon... 😂😂😂

[@haleyscore8477]

Of all the late night talk show host, Stephen's stand up/monologues are by far the most consistently funny and savage.

[@baljinderanand4793]

Johnstoic 117 I

[@indominuswrex9465]

Johnstoic 117 Bill Maher's also pretty good

[@BrianSmith-ix3ns]

+Arianna Smith his 420 segment was one of the funniest things that I have ever heard!

[@markbustamante938]

.

[@CarlosRodriguez-dd4sb]

When did bullying, personal attacks, and defamation become a core responsibility of the POTUS? What a sad state of affairs. I don't recall Reagan, GW, Jr., Clinton, etc. abusing their position in this way.

[@CarlosRodriguez-dd4sb]

Wow Mike are you making threats against the POTUS? As far as doing something - yeah, voting, and contacting senators for my state. Also, not crying, but drawing attention to an issue - awareness might make someone else contact their congressmen or vote differently. Relax.

[@CarlosRodriguez-dd4sb]

Mike, you seem to know a lot about who I am - except that you don't. I respect all three of the Republican POTUS I mention above far more than I respect the current - In part because they behaved to a higher standard. I didn't agree with all of their policy, but that's ok. I don't have any trouble with Christians either - to each their own. I also don't have problems with Muslims, Buddhists, Jews, or atheism. You speak of my supposed intolerance but so far the only person making generalizations about intolerance seems to be you. As far as a 'blue wave' - we are a democracy. We vote our mind.

[@deborahbell964]

I have lived through the administrations of Eisenhower to this man. He is, by far, the worst.

[@1matrixman328]

Every single person you wrote down abused their privileges n mislead citizens.

[@RealityIsTheNow]

Mike Zimmer My god conservatives are such fucking pussies. Can't even cope with jokes on a late night comedy show or a youtube comments section. Look at trump, tweeting like a bitchy teenaged girl!

[@sambira]

Why is Trump worried about Cohen flipping if there is no illegal activity?

[@BrianSmith-ix3ns]

because deep down he knows he's going down to greybar hotel town

[@forthesakeofsanityandsuch9331]

😂

[@carmenn4074]

HONEST PEOPLE have NOTHING TO FLIP ON.

[@ComicallyUnstable]

Well.....I have a gymnast mat.

[@americantacos7618]

Black Rod, In the mind of Trump: Shit he's gonna rat about something I 100% did and I'm going to jail... imma go tweet to feel better!

[@mkultra1982]

It's taken me way too long to realize that no President should use the word "flip," he should have told Michael Cohen to "cooperate" with law enforcement. How far have we fallen?

[@OrDiane]

Frater Prometheus agree. What a frightening precedent this sets for future presidents.

[@CrystalCoyoteX]

Frater Prometheus True. If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear from the FBI, law enforcement, etc (particularly true at that level). But I suspect he wants as few people to cooperate as possible, hence his shift to talking about pardons again. That he's fighting the same US law enforcement and intelligence agencies that work to keep us safe from terrorism is telling enough for me as it is, and that's just the tip of the berg.

[@BrianSmith-ix3ns]

+CrystalCoyoteX if he parDoned Joke Scarapio, he'll parDon anyone

[@CrystalCoyoteX]

Brian Smith we'll see. I hope you're wrong, but I worry that you may be right. There's probably only but so much he can pardon without incriminating himself... least, I sure hope that's the case. I'm of the mind that Justice ought not to blindfold itself based on who knows who, much less what side of a political divide anyone is standing on. That said, I hope Arpaio has learned his lesson and stays well enough away from this whole mess, even if he got off early. That strikes me as his luck and nothing else, and luck is unreliable. Has he pardoned Flynn or Padapolous (or was it Carter Paige? Ah, too much to remember), though? Manafort? They're cooperating with the council, so I think the answer isn't strictly doom and gloom. That said, Mueller scares these law-breaking big-shots so badly that their testes migrate north, so I'm not sure we have to be overly concerned regarding pardon power... It may be somehow else that he's convincing them to jump ship, but again, we'll see. Could be Trump's afraid of him, too.

[@mkultra1982]

Brian Smith Legally, accepting a pardon is an automatic admission of guilt. Also, the President can only pardon federal crime, not state crime. That's one reason Mueller is handing cases to the district courts, so they can't be pardoned. Another reason is that if Mueller is fired, multiple states as well as the DOJ can pick up right where he left off with an extra load of evidence of obstruction.

[@karenrocco7504]

I couldn’t go through these years without you, Stephen. 😂(and friends)

[@robertvysther1138]

We have a fool for a president, but Colbert makes it easier to bear.

[@eunjioh6958]

Oh no that makes Colbert a bad guy.... nononono

[@Rareprogeny]

Love what you do, Stephen Colbert.

[@palsp666]

I love when he says Dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot

[@maryjane3713]

palss 115 cracks me up every time

[@frankie5862]

Actually laughed out loud at Stallone/Trump impressions! Brilliant 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Jasonblade9012]

Can someone explain me this: if you are an innocent man, victim of a conspiracy and a witch hunt, why are you worried about your attorney flipping on you? Why even mentioning it?

[@DresdenShuffle]

Jason Blade Because he's not innocent. No innocent person would react the way Trump does. They'd work with the special counsel and be fine about it because they'd know the investigation wouldn't find anything yet Trump keeps calling it a witch hunt, says he's thinking about firing Mueller and people around him think Cohen will flip. Innocent isn't something you think of in regards to that kind of behaviour... well unless you're a Trump supporter still, they twist anything to make it look like Spanky is right and everyone is out to get them. I'm sure in the comments or in this comment thread there will be one saying 'Fake News' or referring to Hilary, Libtards, fake MSM, Colbert being a propagandist and his viewers being brainwashed. You can't reason with these people and they like to make out there's a majority of them. Newsflash: They're the minority and they're going to find that out in November

[@diptarkadas5193]

Trump is a paranoid germaphobe. He even eats McDonalds because he thinks his food can be poisoned. So, it is very easy to make him afraid of something. And Fox is very good at scare mongering. So they created the narrative that there is a liberal extremist deep state that is trying to get rid of Trump.

[@My-Pal-Hal]

Jason Blade Actually. That's explained in Sunday's "Last Week Tonight" 🤣

[@RationalThinker1859]

Jason. If one had a normal brain with normal processes and one had a normal wit and intelligence, then you wouldn’t need to. But this is Trump...

[@blurpledragon2779]

Jason Blade exactly

[@kayrosis5523]

Stephen Colbert is the only way I can digest the covfefe we see every day without getting depressed at the state of our country.

[@thomward2681]

Erik S Agreed, Erik, agreed. Without Bill Maher and Colbert, I’d be Certifiable and ready for the white jacket.

[@Dantheman3993]

Thom Ward You are already a nut case! Pushing hate and bigotry on a daily basis. Your mother must be proud of you! I know the kkk is!

[@darthblackandmild1742]

Dan calls us the haters, But the only hateful comments I see in this thread are his. Methinks he doth protest too much...

[@kayrosis5523]

Stephen Colbert is hardly a hero of mine. My support is for laughing at those in power, nothing more, nothing less. Colbert merely fulfills that role in the Trump era. Trump is not a great man, he merely exposes how weak and pathetic the Democrats are. Kampala Harris and Corey Booker are but examples of liberal tools who go with whatever is popular. Sanders and Gabbard are but pawns in the liberal assault on democratic values, and their value is in their ability to gain votes. Gabbard, Harris and sanders are weak in comparison to Trump, they have no brand and no attack on the president. Trump is a strong man, he vouches for the undefined white worker, despite being a privileged little cunt and that works in his favor. The difference between Sanders and Harris is an understanding of human incompetence. Sanders knows people will vote for the strong man while Harris believes people will vote for the "righteous candidate." Trump is as corrupt and pathetic as they come, but his competition is hardly much better.

[@supremeleaderarmy9164]

Erik S U got issues

[@go-goakins1489]

Like the way Stephen says " dot, dot ". Lol. Hahahahahaha. Long live the Colbert show!😎👍🤘

[@go-goakins1489]

Colbert 2020!!

[@kathleenhannan]

The end of this video, where Colbert shows us the call between Stallone and Trump has me laughing so hard I"m crying. What a gift it is to get to laugh during these crazy times. Thank you Stephen!!!

[@GreenDragon11]

Kathleen Hannan Same here 😂😂😂😂

[@wakakaka6610]

It was soooooo funnny !

[@chrisf6390]

So glad I wasn’t sipping coffee at the time! It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen this hilarious man do.

[@tristan7844]

COULDN'T AGREE MORE KATHLEEN!!!! even though at some point we should stop laughing at this clown cause his behavior and tweets are really concerning....and DANGEROUS

[@MsThebeMoon]

Kathleen Hannan: It's the best medicine and in this case we what we have to wake up with every morning, it's the only medicine.

[@PriestessAusetRaAmen]

OMG what a hilarious monologue. The entire show had me in stitches, doubled over with laughter. Stephen impersonation of Trump, reading his tweets pure comedy gold. I'm sure I woke someone up laughing so loud.

[@juliaconnell]

sincere thank you for whole 10+ minutes of monologue - instead of cutting into chunks - makes for far more enjoyable (and less frustrating - which goes where...) watching ♥

[@patrickwhiting4831]

Julia Connell This is how every video on this channel is produced?

[@juliaconnell]

Patrick - umm no - normally the monologue is cut into 2, 3 or sometimes 4 different separate videos/clips - 2 minutes here, 3 minutes there - don't know what order to watch them

[@My-Pal-Hal]

Julia Connell But those are from other posters of videos. And of course. KZbin IS a business. So commercials Rule. And shorter videos avoid THOUSANDS of commercials ☺

[@juliaconnell]

umm no TANGLDWEB - who said anything about "other posters of videos" - I am talking about the Late Show posting the (week night) nightly Late Show monologue on the official Late Show youtube channel *here* - KZbin is a business - but I don't think it's a significant form of revenue for the Late Show - plus most users have ad blocker on

[@Dubfansince]

Julia is correct. I don't watch the videos posted others, only the ones posted by the Late Show. They are usually cut into three segments.

[@SFolkes97]

Sometimes, even more than enjoying the jokes, I am grateful there is a Stephen Colbert. He nails it - perfectly - about our crazy President, this crazy world, and it's self-serving leaders. Thank God we can still laugh about it (dot, dot, dot) so far.

[@BrianSmith-ix3ns]

until the inevitable airbursts turns boring night into glorious, blinding day, followed by 40 years of nuclear winter! that'll take care of the FAKE global warming crapola!

[@barbaramedlock4337]

there is no one better than steven colbert speaks out and tells it like it is

[@Qstudio899]

10:10 Call between Silvester Stallone and Trump is the best part. I watched that 100 times and still laughed.

[@bokani79]

MrNepaliThakur That killed me too. I watched it 3 times. Would be nice if SNL does a skit about Stallone and Trump phone call

[@djohn3dddd841]

MrNepaliThakur Yes! BAMTAM!!....LOL!

[@nadir1378]

"I'll get you Bamtan" 😅

[@feebeedoc78]

It's extraordinary to see the Presidents and First Ladies of the last 3 decades at a funeral while the sitting president tweets like a crazy person 25 times!! Wtf America. I strongly disagreed with Bush policies, especially the younger, but I take no pleasure in the death of a woman so clearly loved by her family, nor in her husbands impending demise. I would say that 93 odd years is a very good innings so all this outpouring of grief should be reserved for family and friends. People die folks. I'm glad Trump wasn't there - the man has no idea how to conduct himself and I bet there wasn't a single person in that photograph who wanted him there.

[@GreenDragon11]

Rose S Not to mention the fact that he would make it all about him and not the reason they are there in the first place!

[@amandagardner565]

i agree, they should celebrate her long and fruitful life. save the national mourning for kids with cancer, or victims of school shootings who will never fulfill their potential.

[@b.parker1740]

@Tina I bet he would probably leave in the funeral home a note about how he had such a great time and he spent so much good time with his "f(r)iends." The man is a nut.

[@scoobydoo3928]

I am sure Mrs. Bush would not have wanted Trump there. She did not care for the lecherous fool.

[@My-Pal-Hal]

Remember. Republican Redistricting elected Chump. We Didn't ☺

[@kristinavelvin7885]

"That woman is a saint." No that woman has her eyes on the prize, or maybe her green card hasn't come in yet.

[@Grim_Beard]

Cohen is going to sing. Trump is going to Sing Sing.

[@BrianSmith-ix3ns]

Locked up in the Attica!

[@toknow3491]

WE CAN ONLY HOPE AND PRAY HE GOES TO JAIL FOR ALL HIS "BIGLY" CRIMES

[@iadorenewyork1]

Cohen did sing. He took the fall.

[@NewMessage]

Flip? He's gonna do a full on trapeze act.

[@DinoWinoSaur]

Stephen's impressions are on point

[@maryjane3713]

InternetExplorers ikr. The phone conversation bit made me laugh so hard

[@UliaAB]

I mean it's really not a good impression of Trump but it somehow doesn't matter because it's hilarious.

[@tristan7844]

OMG I LAUGHED FOR 5 MIN STRAIGHT!!!!

[@jennylee9278]

I loved the phone call.

[@jeeither]

his impression of Trump and Seth Meyer's impression of Eric kill me. Like you know they're not remotely accurate but they're so good.

[@dazzlingdeb8427]

OMG! That imagined phone call between Trump & Stallone... Hilarious!

[@yas96225]

The leader of the free world tweeted 25 times over the weekend? I'm following Angela Merkel but I haven't seen them. Will check again.

[@tavongagoto]

yas96225 witty👏👏

[@yas96225]

Merkel is a chancellor. And I checked, she didn't tweet at all this weekend.

[@SeanUCF]

Mike Zimmer Glad you like the president acting like a 13 year old twitter bitch. Most people have higher standards for those that hold high offices

[@yas96225]

It's not an anarchy. There are still laws. I assume you're also not allowed to kill someone in whatever banana republic you consider a free country. But Germany is a country where the press and independent courts are not getting attacked on a daily basis. A country where the chancellor is not above the law and can pardon witnesses in a case against themselves. A country where politicians cannot funnel money into the pockets of their relatives. There is a reason why the US got downgraded to a "flawed democracy".

[@RealityIsTheNow]

Angela Merkel? lol. You can't possibly be so ignorant, oblivious, and culturally illiterate! (Not that trump even counts as human.)

[@EdricLysharae]

Watching this in May of 2019 is a surreal experience, and fun to do!

[@michaelleahy123]

August..I've been binge watching👍🤣

[@reaganlear6548]

I love the phone conversation between trump and Stallone.

[@crunchychips8123]

How is Trump dropping hints about pardons not witness tampering?

[@crunchychips8123]

"Witness tampering is the act of attempting to alter or prevent the testimony of witnesses within criminal or civil proceedings." Straight from the dictionary, comrade.

[@crunchychips8123]

If they think they're going to be pardoned, they won't testify against Trump. And witnesses aren't 'cut off from media sources', you're thinking of juries. Oy vey.

[@queenbeethatme1009]

Ailuropoda melanoleuca Nineoneone you must be a stupid Russian. Dangling pardons will make many not cooperate.

[@CrystalCoyoteX]

Crunchy Chips he's probably trying to distract the world, and fortify support and loyalty among those who are gonna get Mueller'd in the months to come.

[@parsia1363]

"Evil Elton" lol , that was awesome! Pissed my pants I laughed so hard.

[@GreenDragon11]

parsia1363 It was perfect! But I will say Stone is just a reprehensible person! See he fits in perfectly!! UGH 😑

[@djohn3dddd841]

parsia1363 You'll end up in "witness protection" if Spanky finds out your wasting piss. He'll find you!!! He'll want the pants!!!

[@Eamenic1]

Imagine the only transmission that an alien civilization picked up from the human race was from 10:17 to 10:47. They would think that we were a race of orangutans, which currently isn't too far from the truth....

[@peterfaber9316]

"and,... How would a call between Trump and Stalone even go?"…...... First time I laughed to a joke in this show that put tears in my eyes. Lol. That was hillarious 😂

[@toadjiang7626]

Michael Cohen is a very fine person if he won't rat me out, otherwise he's a liar and I have never met him. - Trump

[@ro4eva]

Sounds about right.

[@davidanderson8381]

You say "...." better than anyone else in the world. Always a laugh.

[@diptarkadas5193]

Yeah, sometimes I hoped Trump will figure out how to make twitter threads, but then I will miss Stephen saying "..."

[@homerj.simpson7562]

I'd really like a "...." notification tone for my phone!

[@DagobertX2]

Diptarka Das Don't you worry, he will never figure it out. He can't even figure out basic things, like signing papers that he asked to be public on TV :D

[@hanah3401]

David Anderson I know that’s my favorite part 😹😹😹😹

[@macgeek2004]

+David Anderson It’s because he actually says the number of “dots” trump actually used in the tweet. XD Honestly, I don’t get it. What is it with stupid people? Why do they seemingly have little to no ability to remember that ellipses consist of 3 periods in a row, no more and no less? Does it not look wrong to them when they place five periods in a row? WTH? XD

[@NewMessage]

You know a guy is totally secure about his cronies loyalty when he rambles on and on about how loyal that guy is.

[@GreenDragon11]

New Message Yep 👍

[@GreenDragon11]

New Message It’s also yet another tweet to add to obstruction of justice! He digs his grave deeper every tweet and is so use to lying that he lies about the most stupidest thing possible!

[@spelunkerd]

You look at Trump tweets and they are always about his personal image. Taken together, those childish tweets are a disappointing reflection of where his mind is. Great leaders at this point are completely focused on finding solutions to bigger problems than their small personal lives.

[@richmclenson2240]

Those who know, don't speak. Those who speak, don't know.

[@jessicawhitmore5350]

@froimovi That's the question we've been asking ourselves since 2016. According to Trump, it's because Hillary Clinton conspired to rig the election in his favor. And he STILL lost the popular vote. He's so incompetent he can't even get false accusations of election tampering right.

[@samhugh4965]

Mike Zimmer, here’s an even worse comment...FUCK OFF.

[@judioregan4210]

Mike Zimmer - hmm...interesting how you call others childish when you haven't the maturity and self respect to see what is right in front of you: a wilfully ignorant, proudly undiplomatic and uneducated, intellectually lazy, exhaustingly childish, bigoted, misogynistic, trigger-happy gung-ho manbaby who uses Twitter like a menstruating cheerleader having a hissy fit for being caught cheating on her midterms and her boyfriend! Take your blinkers off Sparky, and grow the hell up OK. Trump is completely unfit for office. And always has been.

[@stephenhathaway269]

Disappointing???what else were you expecting from a narcissistic wannabe dictator?

[@theblackbutterflyorg]

The Trump Voice is PRICELESS omg I'm crying real tears!

[@fidorover]

"Your honor, in the government's case against Mr. Cohen, I respectfully submit Exhibit 1: Mr. Cohen's face. He looks as guilty as a kid who just got caught with one hand in the cookie jar while using his other hand to write a check to an adult film star for $130,000." -- _Federal Prosecutor_

[@fidorover]

"As for Exhibit 2: he worked for Donald Trump. The prosecution rests, your honor."

[@TheFriendlyTroll]

Perfect.

[@BdR76]

Sounds like the courtroom scene from Idiocracy ""Okay, number one, Your Honor, just look at him.""

[@BatardLaHaine]

fidorover mi

[@edcpike]

Lol

[@BdR76]

1:25 I like how Stephen always says "allegedly" just to be safe, it's like he's saying to Trump's lawyers "not it!"

[@nancymesek]

BdR76 It’s pretty funny that a comedian needs to say ‘allegedly’ when making jokes to avoid a lawsuit from the snowflake in chief. LOL

[@WhiskersMctabby]

In response to Trump's birther obsessions, Bill Maher suggested that he was willing to offer $5 million to Donald Trump if he could prove he wasn't the result of a woman fucking an orangutan. Donald Trump had lawyers send documents, including his birth certificate, to Maher in response............ Think about that. :'D

[@Thumbsupurbum]

Trump withdrew that case too, btw. Apparently, proving he wasn't the son of an orangutan was too much work for him.

[@DG-rr5pw]

He always says allegedly because it's a load of crap lol he needs to keep you clowns hooked somehow.

[@jettrey22]

Always nice to rely on a comedian for all of your news needs. I mean what else are they there for.

[@Jasonblade9012]

Anyone saw the pictures of the presidents and their First Ladies during the Barbara Bush funeral? You saw Melania how she looked happy in this picture? And it was a funeral... let that sink in for a minute.

[@DresdenShuffle]

Jason Blade She was away from Donald for the first time in a long time. Probably was happy to see the outside world without being under the thumb of her husband. Surprised she didn't try and make a run for it tbh, I'm sure Obama would've helped smuggle her out somewhere safe lol

[@aidankiriakou2064]

Jason Blade she was thinking, when looking at the coffin,soon Donald soon🙏

[@GreenDragon11]

Jason Blade I know! I showed it to my sister because she thought I was being hyperbolic. Nope, I wasn’t. Never seen Melania smile so naturally like that! It was good to see honestly! She must be under some type of contract is the only thing that makes sense as to why she has had to remain with him.

[@Yves_Ka]

She had asked Barack if it was normal that the FLOTUS has to pee on the POTUS and then spank him. Barack naturally informed her that this was a "Trump Thing" and she should consider #MeToo, get the hell out of the White House and take necessary legal steps. Of *COURSE* she was feeling happy after that conversation. She was debating whether she should go or stay. Michelle said GO, Hillary said STAY

[@brendalaprincegooglenext9736]

Jason Blade she was visualizing her husband in the coffin that's why she was smiling 😁

[@MythicTyrant]

Right hand = CLINK! Left hand = CLUNK! One of my favorite bits in the monologues :-)

[@ZenCorvus]

Seth Meyers has the same headline

[@omegagilgamesh]

That Stallone impersonation was spot on! Steve could be a professional voice actor if he wanted to be.

[@StarkaryenSnow]

The only reason why Twitter doubled its character count - bring out as much shit as possible from Trump's head !

[@djohn3dddd841]

Starkaryen Snow Everybody knows THAT!

[@djohn3dddd841]

Laverne Blaszczyk Never stare an agressive dog in the eyes! It's dangerous. Don't listen to "TWEETY TURD" either. It's dangerous too.

[@StarkaryenSnow]

Yaaasss 😄

[@JeddtheJedi]

The captions at 10:15 are delightfully accurate: (Vague Stallone Sounds) (Vague Trump Sounds)

[@TheTTWT]

Jedd the Jedi i turned them on just to verify your claim - which proved to be correct.

[@tomsdottir]

Right up there with "Pug Party".

[@Marcdenomme321]

Trump can actually tell his supporters he never met Cohen and they'd believe him.

[@charonstormborn8998]

Thank you daily show! Got me through the Bush (2) years and now it is lifting my mood.

[@ryanaugustus]

When he quotes the “dots” I laugh uncontrollably. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

[@nair.127]

Best part Stallone and trump call.

[@lornaginetteharrison414]

Always great to see the "••••" dots getting another airing by Stephen, but 25 TWEETS OVER 2 DAYS?!! Shouldn't Spanky Trump be doing something important, like, IDK, running the country?

[@jurastakaune1423]

Lorna Ginette Harrison ". . . " are my favorite part of Trump tweets 😊

[@sdgdhpmbp]

Don't give him ideas.

[@Boundwithflame23]

He'll get carpal tunnel if he hasn't already.

[@ericwall6219]

The less he runs the country the better it will be for everyone.

[@QuayNemSorr]

I adore the "dot dot dot"

[@moveslikemacca]

*a l l e g e d l y*

[@megfunful]

What a liar is DT.compulsive bully.

[@samsomo7377]

The end had me dying on floor from laughing!😂😂😂😂

[@aisosaihama]

_women who are very liberal to social responsibility_

[@Doktor47]

The late show is the best late night show! Allegedly

[@djohn3dddd841]

Dr Phill It's been proven....scientificly. "Late Show" is the best.

[@theempires5]

"Unless Donald Trump had sex with Mr. Magoo" Damn Stephen, I'm going to have nightmare because of that.

[@djohn3dddd841]

Ray Banner Donnys with Shawni.

[@DeeDee97916]

That Trump & Stallone imitation had me dying!! 👍😂🤣😄🤣

[@144Donn]

Perhaps, of all the routines Colbert has ever done, the last one of the telephone call between Stallone and Trump could be his best!

[@sideshowbobdrkstrjry5876]

Agreed. That was an "I Spit My Coffee All Over the Keyboard/Monitor" moment indeed!

[@christinevr7698]

Lmao!!! That’s exactly what it would sound like!!!

[@KatimaMulilo]

I made the mistake of viewing it in my office using headphones.

[@n3cr0s90]

savage

[@paladro]

indeed... lulz

[@alexanderpbyron]

I always get excited when I see “...”s in a Trump tweet when Stephen’s reading it 👍🏼😄

[@yawn1775]

Alex Byron 😂 true

[@pettespizzaparlor3245]

and we were worried when twitter expanded the character number limit.

[@wolframstahl1263]

"according to people who have spoken with the president" Donald: "there are no such people" ...sooo he doesn't talk to anyone? That explains a lot.

[@dra6o0n]

Or better yet, what if the president doesn't exist?

[@wolframstahl1263]

I like the way you think... or cope ;)

[@TheReal008Zulu]

Cohen: Melania! Melania! Melania: You can't keep coming to me like this Michael, I have a restraining order remember? You were a lawyer, you should know what that means. Cohen: Please, Melania, please, you have to tell Donald! Please tell him that I am loyal to him! I... I *need* him to love! Melania: Unless you are a cheeseburger, or Ivanka, he will never love you the way you want him to. Cohen: So what you're saying is... I should wear a blond wig, and bring him McDonalds? I can do that. Melania: That's not wh... Cohen: Thank you!!! *runs off*

[@CButtonshaw]

Best scene

[@hyg44gu54]

TheReal008Zulu Scene 2#.... Cohen (back in full Ivanka drag): "Daddy Daddy! Will you love me now?!!" Trump: "Only if you let me grab you by the *****! (lunges forward and grabs), wait ah minute, COHEN is that you again?" Scene 3# anybody?

[@sheraz1001]

"Women who are very liberal toward social responsibility"..... what a great way to put it.

[@yashiAR]

That call bit made me laugh way too loud. Well done Colbert.

[@kagitsune]

*BAMTAN* Also, "we have the best women who don't take their responsibilities very seriously"

[@BrianSmith-ix3ns]

however, whoresponsibilities are taken very seriously in mother Russia! they don't take any wooden rubles!

[@martindelbosque1202]

Underrated never faded Stephen Colbert. #1

[@d3r4g45]

Did you notice how Trump managed to mention Cohens family in the tweet? Just like the Mob.

[@SuperDanMega]

The piano man plays it right every time.

[@StoutShako]

The phone call part had me sobbing

[@Tussenio]

Michael Cohen says that he will take a bullet for Donald Trump. Says Trump: "That's great news, Mike. Now go to 5th Avenue and wait there for me. Also be sure to stand absolutely still."

[@Chunkboi]

R Tussenio With President 💩’s hands, what’s he going to use? A pearl-handled Derringer?

[@djohn3dddd841]

R Tussenio Try that shit somewhere other than 5th Ave!!

[@djohn3dddd841]

Chunkboi Hell no! Not when he can fill his water gun(and he has the greatest water gun. It's yooge) with pee!!

[@GreenDragon11]

It is spelled Counsel, as in Special Counsel. Not Council. A lot of people have mentioned that trump didn’t spell it wrong when he did.

[@MindSlain]

Tina P I mean..every dictionary I can find says Council refers to a group formed for discussion, and Counsel is a synonym for advice. Council would seemingly be the more accurate word here, based on how the government functions. Stephen just got it wrong. He’s human, it happens.

[@leonc4653]

Robert McClory yup, from online dictionary, trump has it spelt right.

[@arleneortloff8925]

Lisa

[@arleneortloff8925]

Tina P moo

[@Meteorite_Shower]

Thank you. I didn't know the actual department name to look at, and I spent a few minutes going '...but that _is_ how you spell 'council'. ...isn't it?'

[@arthurneddysmith]

Your president, the most powerful individual in your nation, doesn’t know what ellipses, quotation marks, or even capital letters are for. He also lacks the capacity to ask his staff what they are for. America, what are you doing?

[@samhugh4965]

arthurneddysmith, we are being fucked by Mango Mussolini and the Repuglicans, that’s what.

[@samhugh4965]

Mike Zimmer, go change your diaper, troll.

[@davidfunk3505]

I'm still trying to figure that out. I got nothin'

[@RealityIsTheNow]

America voted against him. He lost by millions of votes. We got stuck with him anyways. He's temporary.

[@RealityIsTheNow]

Mike Zimmer My god conservatives are such fucking pussies. Can't even cope with jokes on a late night comedy show or a youtube comments section. Look at trump, tweeting like a bitchy teenaged girl!

[@ashleighjaimaosborne3966]

You are brilliant, thank you for the laughs. God knows the planet needs it. 🇨🇦

[@DeedeeandtheBeebee]

Man....I almost miss Trump being president because of the late show....Stephen definitely made those 4 years less stressful.

[@bilindalaw-morley161]

Why does no-one ask "Flip about WHAT?". Any parent knows if you've got two kids n one is yelling "You're a tattle-tale", parent knows there's trouble.

[@VfletchS]

Trump keeps using the term "flip" as if there is something Cohen has to flip to. If Trump is innocent of everything he claims to be innocent of, why is he worried about Cohen flipping in the first place.

Man why can´t I like this twice?

[@mystiqueivy]

Baptiste... "Wooooooooooooooooooooow..." 😂😂😂 always gets me lmao

[@Ramesess_II]

He's got Stallone's paralyzed voice 😂😂😂😂

[@Sleeping_Insomiac]

Well, I wouldn't flip on trump... Not after he mentions my "wonderful family" in the most mafia-like way imaginable.

[@ahanemone]

In Australia, Stephen Colbert would be known as Stephen Cold Beer

[@Mika_Collins]

😂😂🤣🤣he kills me with the dot dot dot dot 😂

[@ulrykahbenard813]

OMG I L😍😍😍😍😍😍😍VE YOU @StephenColbert....dat dat dat dat dat dat dat 🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣😂😂... That's honestly my favorite part of when you read his dumb tweets!!

[@faithrada]

OMG .. The phone call at the end! HAAAHAAA. There are no words! Over the top Colbert !

[@nancymesek]

The only reason he would pardon Jack Johnson is because he’s dead.

[@musicmnw1982]

Trump may not realize that.

[@JohnDoe-qo4xd]

Michael Williams ; Trump: "- It's not fair for a man sitting a 100 years in a cell for driving a car with his girlfriend, even if he's black. (SAD). Expect pardon soon...."

[@TooBadThatDidntKillMe]

Spanky also wants to lay precedent for pardoning anyone who refuses to cooperate with Mueller.

[@FeyTheBin]

Trump may have been consulted by his long time friend, Frederick Douglass to pardon Jack Johnson for PR sake.

[@musicmnw1982]

Well there you go. Trump proves he's a dope (again). He was convicted in 1913 and skipped out. Turned himself in in 1920 but only spent about a year in jail. Lived to his late 60's as a free man. Though I use the term "free" very loosely.

[@rewer]

Evil Elton John ... lol

[@reaganlear6548]

rewer That made me snort coffee into my nose 😂

[@LadyUsakoB]

ouch lol

[@tansywoods8947]

Reagan Lear hahaha 😂😤

[@kennet7837]

The alter ego jokes are the fucking best! 😂

[@reaganlear6548]

Kennet Agree. I think it's time for a new alter ego montage. Hope they make one soon.

[@PhillyFrank1]

Judging from similarity between Trump's tweets and the way he talks, his thumbs do get a rest. Some of those are clearly dictated and tapped in by someone else. And can we pause a moment to note that the "President of the United States" made an implicit joke about prison rape ("make a new friend")?

[@SUFFERFOOLS]

>PhillyFrank1 Yep. He's classy like that.

[@mikebronicki6978]

Prison rape is a subject heavy on his mind lately. Go figure.

[@americantacos7618]

He knows whats coming. Papa Bear gonna love that hair!

[@gabby3036]

That's true, he's specifically said he doesn't always write his own tweets; in fact, his aides actually make a point of writing the tweets in his "style" - capitalizing random words and even misspelling things. You can find quite a few articles about it but this Business Insider piece quotes the original Boston Globe (but that's behind a paywall): www.businessinsider.com/trump-staff-inserts-grammatical-errors-into-tweets-2018-5 And here's an interesting article from The Atlantic where they created an algorithm to figure out which tweets are him or written by his aides. www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/03/a-bot-that-detects-when-donald-trump-is-tweeting/521127/

[@Rose-p5m1v]

Good grief! Trump needs to get a real job ASAP! Who tweets that much?!😅

[@larryfulkerson4505]

I'm viewing this in 2024 and Steven is hitting the nail on the head even then. Steven C. for president.

[@danielvillagomez1591]

You know, for a lawyer, I thought Cohen would be smarter in picking his friends. Instead he's paying pornstars and getting arrested for President Dump.

[@maryleedeferrari7020]

Trump chose him because he's not smart -- -- another attempt to create plausible deniability and, therefore, is expendible -- the guy you would throw under the bus if necessary. That thought process failed him though because Cohen is even dumber than he thought. Some people think that he couldn't be Trump's lawyer because they think he would chose a high powered attorney because he's rich. As in the Indiana Jones series, some were looking for a "golden chalice" that would have been used by Jesus. In the end, the Knight in the "tower" helped him figure out that the chalice was made of wood. Trump, of course, wouldn't be using a "wooden chalice" because he's humble . . . And, consider this . . . a credible attorney with a high level of respect in the community, probably wouldn't take him as a client. Trump would have to scrape the bottom of the barrel. They would not squander their career the way this guy has. You and I would not hire an attorney who only has two clients. A new attorney might only have two clients. Cohen has been around a long time. We also would not hire an attorney who's degree represents the equivalent of an online minister's license unless, of course, we were out of options.

[@Abused_Peanut]

Stephen's "dot, dot, dot, dot" is my favourite thing ever!!!

[@MsMoongirlz]

Me too

[@haraldkaindl504]

OMG the Trump-Stallone phone call :-D

[@lordbyron3603]

That phone call between Stallone and Trump ...... OMG.... DYING of laughter !

[@m.c.5795]

The phone call bit at the end is gold! 🤣🤣

[@kennethnash598]

The fact is when Trump golfs he does less in Washington and does less damage to the United States.

[@leemurdock5222]

Best impression ever

[@AJ-lo5dr]

I ❤ jean-baptiste's laugh and music

[@djohn3dddd841]

Jalffie Music He's cool but he can't sing.....lol

[@omaof3130]

I'm late seeing this but the Stallone/Trump phone conversation ! I'm dying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@m.rodrigolemus6224]

Already 100 days of golf at Mar A-Lago, out of 430 days of this Circus administration... Spanky should golf more 😈