Trump On American Healthcare: When You Love Something, Let It Explode

Stephen's monologue examines a President who is learning that, unlike golf, low scores aren't a good thing when it comes to votes on a bill.
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@arjunmukherjee2818]

I suppose orange isn't the new black!

[@dasstigma]

Good one! Made me smirk!

[@bagandtag4391]

ROFL

[@Fyrhp]

Once you go black you'll never go back.

[@dasstigma]

Does everyone miss the obvious? They had black and they DID go back... One might argue: "Mistake!"

[@ty_teynium]

Arjun Mukherjee you did good kid

[@MrBoondock1]

Impeachment 2017 Make it happen. I'll send you pizza rolls

[@ronalddumpster6168]

Mr Plinkett, i have so much dirt on you, you better fall back in line. Great!

[@MrBoondock1]

Donald Trump I have dirt on me too. I record myself sleep walking. I killed two more hookers with bug spray.

[@mineMissHellsing]

Harry S. Plinkett 2020. Make it happen.

[@TeddyKrimsony]

by pizza rolls you mean kiddies trained to fuck?

[@rutger5000]

+Mr. Plinkett. Then Pence gets to be president, what makes you think that would be an improvement?

[@paulaburrows8660]

We're all laughing at these clowns and their antics but, what is happening insane and damn scary. How long can this madness continue before he does something really bad.

[@johndo8792]

Trumpanzees cant get enough, it seems.

[@DrOrtmeyer]

PAUL Burrows I think one of the reasons we laugh is because we can't do anything.

[@paulaburrows8660]

DrOrtmeyer your right we can only laugh or cry.

[@wizkhalifasmoke]

"Not enough votes to get a majority, Well that didn't stop you from becoming president." Biggest burn 2017

[@nemoalvaradoTV]

Trump's gonna need Obamacare after that burn.

[@Erdles]

Colbert has been absolutely killing it since Trump got elected.

[@Cooz.]

Erdles trump is just material at this point

[@rory_person_being]

Erdles I think you mean since Bush Jr was elected, Colbert Report

[@danieljob3184]

Now he can say: "It rhymes with Diddles Tramp!" #Stormywatch

[@tysargent9647]

Reality is Trump is just a selfish, remorseless man using the simple folk for his own benefit.

[@stephanie1134]

Trump's definition of immediately is just like mine when I'm trying to get work done.

[@abdiyusuf8561]

Stephanie 113 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂same. mum you calling me am coming immediately now. 20mins later yes mum am coming immediately

[@jensraab2902]

Hahahaaaa!!!! Laughing so hard! :-p

[@roxybes]

OMG I'm rolling here..... your comment is sooo funny.

[@alexandsimba]

I'm going to bed immediately on a Friday!

[@Dayaktribesman]

Stephanie 113 that makes you presidential by today's standard.

[@sathvikrachakulla]

Is it weird that I stayed awake for five hours to see this video on KZbin?! Love Colbert!

[@RAFMnBgaming]

I think it's weird you people need a reason to stay awake for ridiculously long times.

[@RAFMnBgaming]

+bootnsoot and about 30 minutes for a nerd.

[@sidneyalberts2916]

How's all that "Winning" going, Trumpies?

[@ronalddumpster6168]

GREAT!

[@Abedeuss]

YUGELY AND TREMENDOUSLY

[@adrenacrumb]

At least they can still talk about Colbert's low ratings.

[@BNAU]

adrenacrumb, you mean the average viewership of 2.5million on each 5-10min video daily? Oh yeah that's low. Almost as low as Trump's non-existent nutsack.

[@FionaOfMountLawley]

They've retreated to the echo chambers. I've been taking a look in to see what is going on there. Some of the extrapolation of Pizzagate stuff is incomprehensible. They have their own channels. Out in the more open forums the ones who remain are increasingly operatives, activists or bots.

[@lalvasanth]

One of the best monologues. Colbert is killing it. 😂

[@PlaneetRuk]

Sam Harris: "If I could choose between Trump or a random American person as president, I would choose the latter. At least a non-qualified person would ask for advise and help from experts because of the weight of the presidency".

[@Skyprince27]

PlaneetRuk By the same token, I'd be totally OK with Miley Cyrus.

[@AnexoRialto]

I'd be OK with Kermit the frog. At least I'd be sure he wouldn't defund Sesame Street.

[@Gymnopediea]

I have had this EXACT thought before.

[@johndo8792]

Thats what people thought Trump would do. Doesent listen to smart people if they dont make him money.

[@MrRjhyt]

Anyone else get the feeling Ryan explained his plan to Trump, asked for suggestions, alterations, input, etc. Asked if he wanted any changes. Trump shrugged and didn't understand, gave a speech about 'Healthcare being more complicated than anyone realised', then threw him to the wolves.

[@David_Last_Name]

+Robin Hislop While that may not be exactly what happened, I suspect that if we ever saw a leaked video of that meeting you wouldn't be too far off. I bet at one point Ryan had to stop to define the word "deductible" for him.

[@AnexoRialto]

One of Trump's strong points is that he is incredibly lazy. Another is illiteracy. When you combine these two qualities with his attention deficit disorder, you get a case study in how he managed the health care bill. So it's really a case of good news, bad news. The bad news is that Trump is truly evil. The good news is he is going to have a hard time implementing his evil policies because of those three lucky qualities mentioned earlier.

[@PCSSoft]

yeah not sure I would consider a self made billionaire "lazy".

[@MartinPoulter]

I can't imagine a *self-made* billionaire being lazy. Donald Trump, on the other hand, is lazy as hell.

[@EvilFookaire]

Trump's too lazy to be lazy. Also, self-made? Eh, I guess he did the inheriting of millions, and the receiving of all those $$$ from criminal practices... but the guy couldn't even write "his" book himself and couldn't even read it.

[@bigdickmcgee3293]

"Jesus shaped fighter jet that drops gay people on isis." lmfao

[@millennial4840]

Sankalp Kala idiot

[@slick8640]

CEOofFRESH1 That's because the free market is controlled by greed. We need to "regulate" health providers so they can't charge 2000 dollars for a touge depresser. We also need to "regulate" the insurance companys in order to control coverage and premiums. We have outgrown capitalism. Other countries have universal healthcare and the people love it. Its time we begin pulling together for the good of everyone instead of allowing the rich to put us down, and keep us down.

[@wilecoyote5855]

"No country has ever grown economically through adding regulations to business". All of f..king Europe has regulations on healthcare and business. Guess those commie bastards are all doing good to upset American Freedom.

[@rogero2662]

E Lee - (1) Obamacare was essentially a republican plan - because he was hoping both sides could work together and work on improvements. But the Reps spent the last 7 years trying to tear it down with nothing better to replace it. (2) Under-regulating the US banking industry led to them selling mud for the price of gold forcing almost the entire world economy into recession. There is some value to regulation.

[@marionkeenan2980]

Wil E Coyote You comments are nonsense, what can you expect from a Trump voter.

[@louissartor6294]

Oh how I miss The Colbert Report. However, Stephen often knocks it out of the park with his new show and this clip was a good example. Thanks Stephen!

[@Seetiyan]

How is it that I can't get a job when I've been on interviews and I'm telling the truth? I guess I should be lying through my teeth like this guy.

[@chase3268]

We're F**ked

[@cuauhtemocsilva4917]

With Trump´s administration this show writes itself.

[@jacklawson2474]

These monologues just keep getting better and better!

[@MsPeachster]

I love when trump says " never said that" then media shows him saying it.

[@mineMissHellsing]

Aaaand the Late Show, which is also now the Colbert Report 2.0, is slowly turning into the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I. Love it.

[@toadjiang7626]

'Please! It's so much winning, we can't take it anymore!!' HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[@macaronisalad3038]

last time i was this early trump was still a joke

[@mavendeo]

Meme Machine He still is. It's just not funny anymore.

[@livegurprit]

he still is a joke ... unless you are american then he is nightmare

[@Dragonk116]

Meme Machine ever laughed so hard hat you start crying? ya thats basically non stop for us and it gets painful after a while.

[@FionaOfMountLawley]

Yes, it's completely unhumorous now. When there was a plan to terminate the reporting of animal cruelty cases, mockery was still possible, on the obvious grounds there was only one possible group who could benefit from that. But the rubber has hit the road. What medical services exist that weren't on the list of services which the AHCA amendment wouldn't have made at the discretion for payment by insurers? This is what can be expected from now on.

[@hcivokiz]

bigcity777333 You do know that's old news ,remember you won, we lost, get over winning ,ya fucking snowflake, and defend your moron's governing,or STFU!

[@jaydavids6485]

NUNES & TRUMP - prison now!!

[@fidorover]

While we’re on the subject of Schoolhouse Rock, it might not be a bad idea for Trump supporters to take a gander at those videos so they can finally learn the difference between “your” and “you’re.” _Example:_ “ -Your- You’re an idiot for voting for Trump."

[@TheFriendlyTroll]

Nice.

[@stealthattack2209]

fidorover hahaha

[@abortretryfail9350]

fidorover To be fair, he _did_ promise them "everything", I mean, who wouldn't want THAT? I'm willing to bet, most have a cabinet FILLED with "Ronco/As Seen on TV" products they bought, tried once, discovered were useless, and then still fell for the next one, over and over and over, because Trump is **literally** the personification of every cheesy infomercial ever. On the upside, I am noticing a distinct absence of immediate responses from the endless stream of Trumplets on these vids as compared with four weeks ago, so maybe a few are experiencing a bit of belated "caveat emptor". Probably too soon to tell though really. A guy could actually start to miss having these rousing debates with himself IE write 500 words, get a 10 word response, four of which are misspelled/used out of context, the other six of which are insulting, and at least one of which is "libtard" /s. xD

[@abortretryfail9350]

...and goddammit, why is KZbin comment formatting suddenly hit or miss and/or just horribly broken? It used to work great, now most of the time it only formats half the comment, jeez Google, get your shit together, or just go back to using HTML tags. /pointless whining... sorry, lapsed for a minute...

[@DennisMoore664]

WORD BURN! Sweet!

[@jaspreetpooni423]

I love Stephen

[@Centnl287NAve]

Steve Bannon = pre-existing condition XD too funny

[@MRBROWSER2012]

Stephen C is now the funniest "main stream media" late TV host with the 'balls' to criticize the President of the USA. Fallon has nothing on Colbert.

[@Dragonk116]

John Baxter the guy is literally 1# in the late night ratings thanks to all those trump jokes.

[@MRBROWSER2012]

Reply to Flame, literally thousands of them. It is a bit scary :)

[@MRBROWSER2012]

Reply to Dragon,, yes he is remarkably funny :and a real patriot.

[@MRBROWSER2012]

One other thing, most of the rich people in California did not just show up and get rich, most of them had seed money from other people like their Parents from the East Coast or Mid West. Apple is a rare exception. HP is the other rare exception where Steve Jobs and Waz met :).

[@JingelJjay]

The failure of Trumpcare must hurt the Republicans, but at least they have Obamacare to pay the therapy costs...

[@kevinrobinson5283]

JingelJjay lmao

[@brainstorm623]

They also have the health care to heal the sick burn you just gave them.

[@KidSnivy69]

OOOOOOO!

[@Sailor.Catracha]

JingelJjay republicans don't need to worry. That type of burn is covered under OBAMACARE BITCHES!

[@awithers7]

Donald J Holy shit! You are crazy! You do realize that a) the American people do not vote on bills proposed in congress and b) Trumpcare would've caused 24million people to lose their health care right? I'm guessing not.

[@justalurkr]

You had one job, Electoral College.

[@hcivokiz]

bigcity777333 Your absolutely right we have been to successful, time for a republican crash and burn!

[@rory_person_being]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/baimZWV-nLF0as0 and kzbin.info/www/bejne/fWTafYSwYrGaqK8 remember to watch both justalurkr

[@AnexoRialto]

Oh I'm just a bill, I'm just a bill, and I'm sitting on Capitol Hill. Bam!! Great lesson on civics.

[@GreenDragon11]

Greg K I grew up with that little guy. I've been trying to find it for some time now. With that said, that was hilarious! It's amazing how fast trump was to end the bill. Isn't he supposed to be better than anyone at making deals? I think Ivanka might just have had a hand in that, amongst other things.

[@ReesesCupsable]

I F**KING LOVE THIS GUY!!!!

[@pine_inner]

OMG Stephen where have you been?? I nearly couldn't survive this crazy week without you!!!

[@lananhcoryer9758]

Stephen Colbert , thank you for your brilliant mind , we love you thank again , love your show every day ...

[@KingOfMadCows]

The anti-Obamacare PAC also ran an ad telling people to kneel before General Zod, and one congratulating Sauron on finding the One Ring, and another one celebrating the Empire's victory over the Rebel Alliance.

[@amperzand9162]

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!

[@sheboyganshovel5920]

Absolutely did not see that coming when the bill pulled a gun.

[@angelic8632002]

"and I am your news lady.." cracks me up every time :D

[@wooww91619]

Hahaha "But first someone give Judge Jeanine a ride home from the studio"... Underrated joke

[@jmap]

I love how they almost struggled to caricature judge nutcase whatsername.

[@NewMessage]

After the firecracker incident.. 'Trickle Down Economics' became a hot button issue for Congressman Jones.

[@kparcparc4230]

MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! Impeach Trump!

[@tiredoffools8929]

"Immediately. Immediately. DAY ONE!" LOL

[@5122jeff]

correct me if I'm wrong, but seeing as how the gop controls the house and everything else, why would Democrats be at fault? seems to me that this bill was entirely in the hands of the gop. unless I'm missing something. genuinely curious.

[@GreenDragon11]

5122jeff No you are not! He will never admit if is wrong or mistake.

[@edwinplayer]

5122jeff you are right.

[@loved012one]

So, yes, the bill did not require Dems to win.

[@thefemaleanimefreak]

I don't think Republicans have a supermajority in each house, which is needed to really pass bills. So having opposition from conservative Republicans and Democrats killed the bill. At least that's how I understand it.

[@SimplyCanadian]

I just feel bad for the people who have to rewatch old videos of Trump's speeches to find the clips of him saying something that contradicts him now. They deserve a raise Colbert!!

[@FMdTamal]

Ha ha ha One of the best Colbert pieces so far on the late show, WELL DONE👍

[@cristinalaird5824]

Thank God for Stephen Colbert!!!!!!!!!!! if I didn't have you Stephen to say everything i feel about this WH, i would explode!!

[@desin24]

Let it explode is still my favorite Frozen song

[@sandramarylu3063]

we really missed you.

[@msteaguer1908]

STEPHEN COLBERT...you give me several belly laughs every time!!!

[@thomash5239]

I remember when Colbert got like 15% or more dislikes on these videos from ignorant Trumpeters. Now it's like 2% or less from the legally insane

[@mineMissHellsing]

God it has been so boring watching the news without Stephen.

[@nikanzare3099]

i like how the video is exactly 10/10

[@ndnpro64]

Literally laughed out loud at the bill shooting itself. Genius writing

[@RaiPeraza]

THE BEST WAY TO COME BACK AFTER A LITTLE TIME AWAY!!!! THANK YOU!!!

[@NewMessage]

Hey! I was drinking rum the whole time too! Not in any sort of act of solidarity.... I just have a problem. But still.. fun wow.

[@rax816]

New Message dude you need to look at that notification.. 😓

[@sabrajuma817]

"Well that didn't stop you from becoming president" Stephen is a savage

[@ncc1701deee]

I can't get enough of these Real News Tonights :').

[@leesagrrl]

The drunken Judge on Real News Tonight was PERFECT!!!

[@elephantmarch]

As much as I hate the Freedom Caucaus's priorities and ideals.... I DO appreciate the fact they slapped Bannon down. It was SCARY how much clout Bannon had for a while...and this was a delightful dressing down....

[@Ajayjones123456]

Stephen's Monologue or Seth Myer's "Closer Look"?

[@ImProbs]

Colbert is amazing overall, but Seth Meyers' segment, A Closer Look, would be my choice - if I HAD to pick.

[@samechaos3297]

Alan Ouya Stephen all the way.

[@Mikathedog100]

Alan Ouya Both. Even when they're talking about the same stories, they compliment each other.

[@Mikathedog100]

Alan Ouya ......Although, Trevor Noah referring to Paul Ryan as "boring Jake Gyllenhaal" was pretty awesome 😁

[@jbb6131]

Stephen >>>>>>>>>>>> Myer

[@ravenbelote1801]

Love you Mr. Colbert. Keep us laughing.... 🌟

[@D_isco_D_ancer]

The Laugh of the piano guy is what makes my day.

[@QNFirefly]

This is bully politics. When someone fails they rest of the gang come down. And I love Judge Sally Blazerface

[@mrHunleashesHELL]

Steve Bannon should be the antagonist in the next GTA game.........hit like if you agree.

[@michaelkadunce3155]

Mr. H.

[@GenghisKhanPolitics]

Trump's definition of the word "immediately" is like mine when I promised my parents I'm gonna do my homework... immediately.

[@xy6845]

That was clearly one of the best monologues since Donnie didn't get elected by the people. And they all rocked. But to be fair, the government gave Stephen a lot of comedian ammo since the last show ^^ Keep it hot and spicy Stephen, we love you.

[@mineMissHellsing]

Oh man, I just wondered if we're gonna get a video soon.

[@upittman1]

too funny!

[@gsherlock]

1:01 made me spray coffee everywhere.

[@EdMcStinko]

I'll give Trump credit for finding an interesting way of throwing Ryan under the bus.

[@sawahtb]

Donald never seems to realize he's recorded everywhere... denying he said stuff doesn't work.

[@artemis7093]

oh my gods, I missed Stephen...

[@number1authority]

I wish they’d done more Sally Blazerface pieces. Cracks me up everytime.

[@kahmusicaustralia]

I am so sick of the winning lolol

[@kierankieran7507]

will there be a day without news not polluted by trump?

[@BeOutThere]

Trickle down healthcare.

[@themadplotter]

That shouldn't have made me laugh, which made me laugh more.

[@squatch545]

Stephen Colbert has the best writers.

[@jameswhite9127]

The news segments are amazing

[@pitcher4336]

The End Is Near!

[@grumpyturtle9682]

Hopefully for the Republican party, and any other conservative movement in the U.S.

[@EchoL0C0]

PitCheR * Not ALL conservative movements; theoretically there are a few tiny good ones out there that exist. And technically, being careful about climate change could be considered taking a conservative approach (too bad conservatives mangled the term). But yeah, most of the conservative rhetoric needs a major overhaul.

[@TheClairemyst]

Bwah hahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahah

[@Cranky0ldMan]

fantastic, thumbs up

[@Raachen]

Stephen Colbert is the best late night host I've seen so far... Respect from a german fan!! :)

[@tontonpacute]

tears from trump supporters could fill the grand canyon

[@Yonkage]

So could rising sea levels.

[@CreativoErratico]

Tired of winning!

[@michaelkadunce3155]

zerosonico.

[@randyjam47]

OMG, he is soooo right on!

[@jeremiasrobinson]

"Real News" always makes me feel so good!

[@SaltySalman]

trump is like the politicians in Bangladesh and india. they say they'll do a lot at election and they don't do shit. sometimes they do put the promises in action take the money from parliaments permisson and then keep 70 percent of the money fot themselves

[@eduardovillagomez3675]

peace I'd say he's more like that one kid who ran for student council and promised to make sure we wouldn't get homework anymore.

[@elenachristian9860]

Eduardo Villagomez Shit, you're right. 63 million Americans voted to get out of doing their homework.

[@emmy6909]

"I NEVER said I would repeal and replace Obama Care in 64 days" "We are going to replace Obama Care IMMEDIATELY" Can someone tell the president that the media can and will go back to his previous speeches....

[@Slain087]

They've been doing that for ages; doesn't seem to stop him or convince his supporters that he is as the Democrats see him.

[@rlarson3232]

Keep them coming!

[@chicadoo8803]

the amount of shade @ 3:50 ..gotta love this man

[@emgitonga]

First African

[@ChidubemEgwim]

Probably not

[@metalman552]

We're all African brother....

[@72marshflower15]

Metalman We're all human... Racism is raceless you know?

[@metalman552]

Yeah I know we're all human. Kind of obvious right?! But races exist, how the fuck is it racist to call an Asian an Asian for example? My comment was about us humans all evolving from Africa making us all Africans really.... But awesome too see people still love to be self righteous...

[@TRIGAROLA]

Flame Beats Luuuucy! I'm Homonid!

[@hopeway8860]

that BILL should have yelled "ALLUA AKBAR"

[@GreenDragon11]

hopeway Excellent!!

[@sd501st5]

That was a good laugh, have a thumbs up.

[@generalkitten2100]

i was waiting for couple of days just for this video

[@Ocyla]

LOL that drunk Real News lady, that's awesome!

[@skendrix7]

WHY IS COLBERT SO OBSESSED WITH TRUMP? getting pretty creepy

[@Slain087]

He's obsessed with Trump because the turnip can't help but shoot himself in the foot over and over again, and the useful satire comes from easy to understand things, which the turnip is only completely willing to provide.

[@skendrix7]

jeez how weak how these people?

[@bluehamletsstevens7370]

WE watched the "bill" joke 3 times..and.. we're still laughing ! ....

[@alliebev]

Steven you are just so funny. You make me laugh. Thanks! I need to laugh. Can you help a poor old woman? Although you could not help me, I'm hopeless right now.

[@josiaserad6574]

I WAS WAITING FOR THIS

[@lilithstribe]

If it's broken and you're so brilliant, FIX IT. This is not complicated.

[@thelongroad9750]

I love the news crew! More please!

[@Taricus]

That impression was amazing! LOL! XDDDD

[@cactikaty]

it is ok to fail but it is not ok to admit the failure and to blame on someone else.