There are secrets to understanding the wife's code. To learn them all, watch "I Can Laugh About It Now" by Jeff Allen only at www.drybarcomedy.com/jeffa
Пікірлер: 2 900
@jonsubs99985 жыл бұрын
Until married I did not know there is a vast difference in the direction the toilet paper rolls out. One is the correct and natural way, the other is how demons penetrate humanity to destroy all that is good. Every time I have to reload the toilet paper, I needed a minute to try to remember the right way to prevent a tragedy.
@heatherlikey2 жыл бұрын
🤣😂🤣😂
@derekeano2 жыл бұрын
One way is actually a lot easier to roll it to take sheets then the other way.
@EEPhD Жыл бұрын
It’s over the top unless you have a cat or a two year old.
@leilatimeful Жыл бұрын
I laughed so hard because this is true 🤣🤣
@allyturner2024 Жыл бұрын
I dated a guy that said not only does it have to be facing the right way, but had to fold the end piece into a triangle to make it “look good”. What’s next, gonna organize all my canned goods..?? Okay thanks MARTIN (please watch sleeping with the enemy 1991 if you don’t get this) 😂
@pland38455 жыл бұрын
The old man impression was spot on
@Jennynine5 жыл бұрын
Exactly like my grandpa used to be lol
@killakangz53175 жыл бұрын
definitely.
@dablet4 жыл бұрын
im gonna be an mumbling old man. i just know it.
@blufiyah69964 жыл бұрын
Real🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣l funny!!!!! I've seen that!!!
@holdtrue20214 жыл бұрын
@@blufiyah6996 dead 😂
@anonymoussources88034 жыл бұрын
"Are those you underwear" "I sure hope so or I have a few questions of my own"!
@felipegarciatn4 жыл бұрын
My wife has asked the question lawd knows how many times. I'm using this next time she asks. Just letting everyone here know in case I go missing 💀💀💀
@restoretheearth28294 жыл бұрын
Died laughing.
@restoretheearth28294 жыл бұрын
@Dale Hemme +++ I feel so sorry for you and your negative outlook. You need dozens of hugs and a cup of spearing tea with honey.
@restoretheearth28294 жыл бұрын
@Dale Hemme ++ Thank you. Oh, that was spearmint tea. Doggone spell-check on this phone.
@MrJamespeyton3 жыл бұрын
A woman once said to Winston Churchill, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison “ Winston replied, “Madam, if I were your husband, I’d take it”. 😂
@ritakisil1508 Жыл бұрын
🤣🤣
@rmtl3140 Жыл бұрын
Ol' Winston. At a State dinner, there was a waitress who was very rude to him. To deal with it, he asked her in front of anyone if she'd sleep with him for 10,000 pounds. She looked around, smiled and said, 'yes!'. Then he asked her if she'd sleep with him for 10 pounds. Irritated, she replied, 'No, what kind of woman do you think I am?" He answered, "We've already established that madam. Now we're just dickering over the price." Priceless!
@kenwilliams2916 Жыл бұрын
The Woman was Nancy Astor who became an MP in 1919-over the years their hostility became more and more pronounced
@mja9135211 ай бұрын
@@rmtl3140 It is priceless, even though Churchill has nothing to o with the witticism.
@stevew190411 ай бұрын
@@mja91352 Not sure about this particular quote, but Churchill was renowned for his incisive wit. After a few too many whiskeys, a woman told him “You sir are drunk” to which he replied “And you madam are ugly, but tomorrow I’ll be sober”. On the campaign trail, he asked a guy “Can I count on your vote in the election?”. Guy told him “I’d rather vote for the devil than vote for you!”. Churchill’s response “Well since the devil isn’t running in this election, can I count on your vote?”
@probono93415 жыл бұрын
Nothing more humorous than actual conversations and everyday life. Well done sir.
@judypailette26717 ай бұрын
😅
@GdaySport4 жыл бұрын
Had to close my laptop before the end coz my wife asked me what I was laughing at!
@whatthedeuce4 жыл бұрын
Wise man
@Renasense4 жыл бұрын
I'm not so sure about that; show her, so she can see what you choose not to say to her in the same situation. I've found that it's where you can distinguish yourself from other men that creates value, and (hopefully) lead to a truly happy life. (Still working on this btw, so nothing is certain!)
@StreetSmartification4 жыл бұрын
At least you are lucky that you can use your laptop!
@tanyabattaglia934 жыл бұрын
@@StreetSmartification what a sad comment 💔😂
@davegoodwin18484 жыл бұрын
You needed a cover story. Shoulda told her you were just looking at porn....
@rodneypardensr57034 жыл бұрын
My favorite is when my wife says we need to do something she actually means that I need to do something. And being the happy man that I am I go take care of it. Mumble,mumble.😂
@heatherlikey2 жыл бұрын
Keep up the good work!
@natestein59884 жыл бұрын
"What'd you say to me?" "I DIDN'T SAY NOTHING TO YOU!!!!!!!!!"
@BT37014 жыл бұрын
Love the fact that you kept it clean and funny without using vulgarity. I've been married 46 years and still can't bridge the communication barrier any better than at first.
@onsight28224 жыл бұрын
Cheers for the advice! Sounds like hell before Hell !
@mingpeeps4 жыл бұрын
YAY2020
@mja9135211 ай бұрын
Tr speaking clearly and truthfully. That works!
@azsteve485 жыл бұрын
Until I got married I didn't know there was a right way to put the milk into the fridge.
@shamanbeartwo38195 жыл бұрын
lol!
@michaelr16645 жыл бұрын
What do you mean? How many ways are there to put the milk in?
@richarddarlington11395 жыл бұрын
Let me guess... Do not put the milk in the door. Put it in the back, where it's colder. Am I right?
@supersharda5 жыл бұрын
azsteve48 🤣🤣🤣
@Qdailyusa5 жыл бұрын
@@richarddarlington1139 it should be put in the door actually! lol
@geterpriffin4 жыл бұрын
Until I got married I didn't know the best getaway vacation is spending time alone on the toilet seat.
@Narcisphan3 жыл бұрын
Omg i'm dying 🤣🤣🤣
@lauS72 жыл бұрын
Omg, so true
@maxchen72292 жыл бұрын
My office is my toilet 😃😃
@southernstargazer1951 Жыл бұрын
Spot on.
@heidi2166 Жыл бұрын
The Uncle John's bathroom reader series of which there are a lot of volumes are priceless. Buy all of them. You'll laugh yourself off that seat but I also learned more from those books than I ever did in school
@AirFire184 жыл бұрын
Had he married a Latina, he would never get a question 😂. My mother would have said “pick those up , i had two children not three” 😂
@dans42704 жыл бұрын
Smart mom
@restoretheearth28294 жыл бұрын
@@dans4270 ++ My German mother would have said the same thing.
@aneve242694 жыл бұрын
Right, we Latin people (I am Italian, so 100% Latin) don't ask strange and stupid question, we just say "pick up all your sh*t around the house!"
@jonanderson51374 жыл бұрын
@Pop Lyle Different culture. She pulls a crazy act and she gets a slap. It's give and take. The USA went kinda nuts 60 years ago and now feelings being hurt gets cops called.
@rishirocks12393 жыл бұрын
@@jonanderson5137 which country?
@bengully50765 жыл бұрын
No profanity just pure observational real life humor. On point my man !
@GeorgeMinton-jb8ky4 жыл бұрын
I solved that problem. I am 69 years old and I refuse to get a hearing aid.
@SaulGoodmun4 жыл бұрын
I solved the problem too! 👏😎 👖🍆 MGTOW
@vondahe4 жыл бұрын
I’m 49 and I will remember your advice, George. Thank you!
@samuellee21074 жыл бұрын
@@vondahe 😂😂😂😂😂
@FunkadelicFeed4 жыл бұрын
Dude!
@ACabel4 жыл бұрын
MY dad does this to my mom! LMAO Oh he makes me laugh!!
@SmoothJK4 жыл бұрын
It's sad/scary how accurate this is.
@RB-xv4si4 жыл бұрын
SmoothJK right. To the extent that it’s really not even funny.
@underestimatedsmilin24294 жыл бұрын
Then maybe your not in sync.
@dcardigan132 жыл бұрын
I felt a little bad about the old man mumbling 8 feet behind his wife joke. But this is an interesting set
@TylerJeray4 жыл бұрын
The old man arm waggle was my favorite part 😄
@OmniGuy4 жыл бұрын
Compromise is the key to a happy marriage. My wife will admit she's right if I am willing to admit I'm wrong
@thomastom8884 жыл бұрын
Hahaha brilliant
@c50ge4 жыл бұрын
Jimmy Warburton been married 34 years. Moved into our current house, my wife wanted a 13 in tv in our bedroom(I wanted a 19 inch tv) we compromised and got a 13 inch tv. Life is great!
@supernerd70934 жыл бұрын
MGTOW learn it and live it!
@drewbranch77004 жыл бұрын
Jimmy Warburton more like negotiating rather than compromise because with compromise sooner or later there will be resentment.
@zakiazainab11704 жыл бұрын
Well said!
@wellingtonwhite25465 жыл бұрын
What relief clean humor. Love this guy.
@lcloete53325 жыл бұрын
Then also watch Barry Hilton
@achillesjesuitas26425 жыл бұрын
Dirty underware
@juliesunshine11464 жыл бұрын
Check out Brian Regan
@bighammer5874 жыл бұрын
Great routine Jeff! And proof that comedy doesn’t need to be vulgar or obscene to be hilarious 😆👍👍
@gretaanne64034 жыл бұрын
I love listening to this man’s jokes about his wife. Wish you and your wife more happiness, sir! :)
@caesarsantos5 жыл бұрын
Jokes are half-truths, which is why great jokes are timeless. God bless all the real men out there who find the humor in the hard work of being a good husband 👍🏼
@reallyrightpersonafycta40075 жыл бұрын
Caesar Santos No hitting and no cheating are the only real rules. Everything else is open to logical debate. Anyone, on either side, who goes back is a fool. Getting Physical on either account, even once = marriage death. I accidently hit you, or accidently f'd your friend etc. No tolerance, no 'counseling' . DONE Everything else is caveat for pussies who accept b.s. standards or try to rationalize insanity. People who love each other don't strike each other. And married folks can't date. DUH! Doesnt make you a man for not standing up to it, or for yourself. News flash, she doesn't respect you if you allow such. Early on I made sure my wife understood all this. Even HOW she chooses to speak to me. In rational terms or not at all. Worlds full of fools accepting b.s. every day.
@Rachmanfan4life5 жыл бұрын
You mean the pathetic losers who kiss their Wives asked daily just to get laid… God how sad
@TheTruthseeker595 жыл бұрын
well said man!
@sampsonorson5 жыл бұрын
When you say good husband, do you mean being stress constantly for doing nothing wrong, while you find humor and tell her it’s fine to do it?
@truthseeker43885 жыл бұрын
By good husband you mean a slave who lies to themselves.
@markmartineau16905 жыл бұрын
My first wifespeak I learned was Are you hungry, which meant, I'm hungry let's stop to eat lol. Of course I said no and kept driving
@Stefan-5 жыл бұрын
Yeah of course.
@moarroz5 жыл бұрын
You should have figured that out watching your parents 😂😂...Mine would make my dad pull 5 u-turns then say NOBODY IS EATING! FORGET IT I'M NOT HUNGRY NOW...That's why my brain is more Male...I refuse to turn out that way lol
@ilaser40645 жыл бұрын
@@moarroz yes the old classic demanding something and if it's not instantly met, the subsequent refusal to allow the demand to ever be met.
@andrewbowers_5 жыл бұрын
I Laser: That’s because women are adult children. The childish tantrums remain for life.
@moarroz5 жыл бұрын
@@ilaser4064 yes! Everyone suffered not just my dad. Just be ready for her kraft mac n cheese replacement 😂 some BS
@TheSubwaysurfer4 жыл бұрын
had an older man tell me son NEVER go for the Win go for the peace...
@phoqueewe72304 жыл бұрын
Older men like that have never dealt with these younger women. Peace would be 2 fingers up on the way out the door.
@vh63072 жыл бұрын
He's one of the Few Wisemen's Club!!☺️
@viktorreaper97484 жыл бұрын
"Your looking at the most powerful piece of cotton on planet earth" That got me. 😆
@jonathanbennett95375 жыл бұрын
Comedy without cursing is quite refreshing .... I curse like a sailor.
@garbinator095 жыл бұрын
I’m trying my best to tone it down... Its when I get together with old mate’s after the funeral is done. Mouth goes right back in time. Shocks me I once talked so frilling bad! Retired state corrections
@phyllisrasmussen47015 жыл бұрын
This is good situation comedy. Reminds me of some of are old comedians, Remember Red S? Bob Hope?
@gwenyverreking55655 жыл бұрын
You’d love Tim Hawkins then!!!
@AthenaGM5 жыл бұрын
I do too and in 3 languages. Is too much, trying to cut it😩.
@leemontgomery79145 жыл бұрын
Mr. Allen, I’ve not laughed that hard in years‼️😂 Thank you‼️‼️
@AmberAmbwee5 жыл бұрын
“I hope you sit in the water. I don’t care.” 😂😂😂💀💀💀
@holdtrue20214 жыл бұрын
😂😂dead😂😉
@agentham4 жыл бұрын
This dude should get an award. Spot on.
@godspark65584 жыл бұрын
The code changes every second......it's an old code, a new code and a code you don't even know yet. !
@adeelansari5 жыл бұрын
If Jeff Dunham's Walter was a real person...
@cameronmcpherson63645 жыл бұрын
Jeff Dunham is not even funny by accident.
@lucaswhite125 жыл бұрын
Ha! You haven't been paying attention, the difference is this guy is happy! :)
@adeelansari5 жыл бұрын
@@lucaswhite12 for sure 😊 completely agree
@bykjdus5 жыл бұрын
Now thats funny af
@maxziel5 жыл бұрын
Spot on observation.
@joleneangelicsingarrett58375 жыл бұрын
You know his wife has to hv a great sense of humor too... Even if she is up a wall frost bitten...lol Xoxo
@demitrisolvinski5 жыл бұрын
It's true, Tammy is a real hoot!
@joleneangelicsingarrett58375 жыл бұрын
@Demitri Solvinski i heard some of his other stand up about her... And it reminds me of stuff id to... Like drawing on back of his head... 😂😂😂 xoxo
@conorf80914 жыл бұрын
Xoxoxoxo is not words
@mayjvr6664 жыл бұрын
“Just practicing leavin’ for golf” 😂😂😂
@sandralyn58694 жыл бұрын
Oh my goodness I LOVE THIS GUY!! I'd never heard of him until just three days ago and I have been binge watching him non-stop since and I've laughed so much I may have thrown out my back LOL
@MsSavagechef5 жыл бұрын
It goes both ways. I can be dragging a bag of garbage out to the curb and he looks up from his paper and says, "Whatta ya doin'?" I say, "I'm taking the body of that burglar I killed out, it's starting to stink." He says, "Leave it, I'll get it when I'm finished reading." Five days later, the rats are nibbling his toes, and he's still on page two.
@PossumLady82625 жыл бұрын
😂
@janalogsdon5 жыл бұрын
So very true
@mwakampundu2395 жыл бұрын
😂😂
@johannax09105 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂😂
@Ericadbury5 жыл бұрын
Sooooo true
@denischabriddell9865 жыл бұрын
No matter how many times I've seen this it's still funny. 😂😂
@twoprayingbuddhas8924 жыл бұрын
"Do you wanna be right or do you wanna be happy?"
@pratvachan4 жыл бұрын
Kind Sir, please accept salute from this humble married man.
@TheKajunkat5 жыл бұрын
Ah wifespeak, the original enigma code. If the germans would have used this during WWII we would have never cracked it.
@rubenleal48215 жыл бұрын
Keep in mind that it took a gay man to figure out the enigma code.
@Fern6355 жыл бұрын
...and this is a comedy video, so let's not dwell on how we thanked him for his service.
@missoula22135 жыл бұрын
Since it's real life and time + tragedy = comedy: Alan Turing killed himself via a cyanide-laced apple two years after the British government forced his chemical castration. 60 years later, his government apologized and over-turned his conviction of gross-indecency.
@ralfi9555 жыл бұрын
Das ist Richtig
@kevinpaynter5 жыл бұрын
Well that escalated quickly.
@taqveem5 жыл бұрын
😂 Man I couldn't stop laughing, I had to pause the video and walk out. "... Columbo..." 😂😂😂
@jonfromstearns5 жыл бұрын
Taqveem Khalid I said that my wife once. Not a good thing to say.
@joysingers61935 жыл бұрын
Me too!😂
@jayaseto4 жыл бұрын
1:24 he nailed the old mans walk 😂😂
@MrBrown-wh7iy4 жыл бұрын
My lady called today and asked "where are you? " my reply " what do you want" ? She hung up on me!
@navneetkaushik24824 жыл бұрын
Let me guess , you ate dinner alone
@anthonyvirgillito5374 жыл бұрын
Navneet Kaushik on that couch aswell none the less
@Thundering_Banshee3 жыл бұрын
Wrong Answer.
@johannax09105 жыл бұрын
What a blessing to be able to hear funny comedy without cursing! I'll show this to my kids! 😂😂😂
@vicholtreman14055 жыл бұрын
"Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?" Sir, you have saved my marriage. You have no idea how often I now shut my mouth and repeat this over and over in my head like a mantra. Seriously.
@jshepard1524 жыл бұрын
Dr. Phil has been saying that for about fifteen years.
@heatherlikey2 жыл бұрын
Secret to happiness...😁
@vicholtreman14052 жыл бұрын
Update: I ended up getting a divorce.
@TheFockerizer Жыл бұрын
@@vicholtreman1405 me too and since my divorce i have been on 2 cruises so are you happy with your life now?
@vicholtreman1405 Жыл бұрын
@@TheFockerizer Haha, I got divorced not too long after I wrote that comment. Go figure. 😛
@jimgag24 жыл бұрын
I never cheated on my wife because I have one woman always pissed off at me. Why would I want another?
@Acdhcup2674 жыл бұрын
@Jhon Ester Cringe
@farhadmiah89684 жыл бұрын
You got that right... who needs or wants the headache
@clublulu3994 жыл бұрын
I don’t mind women being pissed off at me. Just play with my balls
@jaceyneubauer43593 жыл бұрын
Smart man lol
@danaputera71972 жыл бұрын
Sir, with all due respect If you want to be treated like a gentleman, be a gentleman...
@rizwandeo4 жыл бұрын
No matter what race and religion you are. Married couple have same story
@fashionkiller50524 жыл бұрын
Rizwan Rafique universal truth
@differentparadigm4 жыл бұрын
@Mr Man it's a joke, we shouldn't take the life lessons and advices from jokes too seriously.
@dennischang28034 жыл бұрын
@Rizwan Rafique so true..... unless wife says differently 😅😅
@ytcensorship81804 жыл бұрын
yeah ,divorce!😂
@Razi983 жыл бұрын
Off-topic but the kid in your profile is so adorable! God bless her.
@donaldsouthworth29725 жыл бұрын
I could listen to this dude all day. He's clean, he's funny, he speaks truth.
@The1PinkStar4 жыл бұрын
Jeff today is my parents anniversary. I can show them this video and I know they will laugh. I don't have to worry about curse words or graphic material. Thanks so much.
@lowspeak4 жыл бұрын
Did they laugh?
@jyranechjm57664 жыл бұрын
The mum probably did. But the dad is still miserable like he has been, keeping quiet about everything in the marriage for many years now.
@mikesnyder49804 жыл бұрын
Amen brother!!..I live to serve she who must be obeyed!!
@jacobsjournal35544 жыл бұрын
This man's jokes were cleaner then a Marine and Soldier's bed room lol XD
@joequillun77904 жыл бұрын
Yeah, but he was still pretty funny tho, don't-cha-think?
@jacobsjournal35544 жыл бұрын
@@joequillun7790 no no no for sure sir that's what I meant =-)
@jhitchcock55035 жыл бұрын
And being able to laugh about the difficult aspects their relationship is a big reason why this man has been successfully married for 30 years and counting.
@savannah62065 жыл бұрын
He's a good Christian and he loves his wife...I bet the wife is sitting out there somewhere laughing at his jokes. I saw this man for the first time on Gaither Homecoming some years ago.
@Kipx995 жыл бұрын
"Successfully"
@3monsters0145 жыл бұрын
Its parenting.. Me: Clean your room Child:goes grabs bicycle. Me: where do you think your going Child: Fine I will clean my room
@annadrazic97334 жыл бұрын
A lot of man are crying how horrible married life is,ask a man who lost his wife what he thinks?
@palamidagheo45204 жыл бұрын
@@annadrazic9733 15 years ago i did ask my grandpa.he said it is very difficult for him.then i teach him how the washing machine works how microwave and dishwasher works.guess what ? he is 91 now and want an electrical bike
@moiseetienne8865 жыл бұрын
Tryna win back all the arguments he's thrown away all these years 😂😂😂😁
@taj3564 жыл бұрын
When I need a good laugh, this guy is the help I need! Been married almost 10 years, and what a journey so far, but I wouldn't trade my hubby for nothin'!! No matter what, I just love him!! God didn't make a mistake when he brought him my way! Thank you Jeff Allen for keeping it real and funny!! You are an awesome comedian!!
@SunShine-sv8vx4 жыл бұрын
"Practicing how to leave for golf" 😂🤣😂 this was so good
@edmisterenterprisesllc46504 жыл бұрын
"Ima put these in the car baby, and Ima come back and mow our lawn" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@robertblake10323 жыл бұрын
Edmister Enterprises LLC o o p
@Razi983 жыл бұрын
I was out of air by this point 🤣🤣
@mark.lawrence3 жыл бұрын
still giggling at that one... what a line...
@rhonnienickens78005 жыл бұрын
Real dedication to the game, he practices leaving for golf, lol😂😂😂😂😂😂!😎
@johnree61065 жыл бұрын
Hey that's what I do, but for work
@davidvianello58815 жыл бұрын
I don't know if I should laugh, or I should cry. It's tough to be married!
@Joyful-Heart7775 жыл бұрын
David Vianello - yes, it sure builds character :) but it’s worth it. Also teaches us to be more easy going I think
@lolhaha89225 жыл бұрын
What kind of wife, are you guys married too?!!
@4Mikes4Mindset45 жыл бұрын
Just say no duh. It's a lesson.
@emaambition93784 жыл бұрын
Blein Selemon you must have a good wife I assumed?
@lolhaha89224 жыл бұрын
@@emaambition9378 Haha No, I have a husband. I just never heard him complain about me like that. I am sure, if he felt that way about me, he would have divorced me.
@mandm2754 жыл бұрын
Sometimes I have to ask "Am I happy Buttercup?" Oh, you better believe you're happy! 🤣🤣
@katsujinkin603 жыл бұрын
I didn't know old men were so funny! No wonder kids start laughing when I pass by!
@masterchu80445 жыл бұрын
Old school they dont make em like this anymorr
@r-35495 жыл бұрын
this guy has been married longer than ive been alive👏👏👏 and hes one of my favorite comedian
@DaddyBear30003 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣 my other half just came in the room. She thought I was crying, I was 🤣
@paulmetdebbie4474 жыл бұрын
If a man goes into the woods and speaks.and his wife doesn't here him, would he still be wrong?
@fashionkiller50524 жыл бұрын
Paul met Debbie yes
@jasonalangriffin4 жыл бұрын
Hear
@fashionkiller50524 жыл бұрын
MissMiia one time my husband dream cheated... I’m still not over it
@patriciawalton9864 жыл бұрын
Yes
@MrMadnessHero4 жыл бұрын
No
@geoffreykruse5635 жыл бұрын
Six men to carry a man to his grave and one good woman to put him there.
@MScorpioM5 жыл бұрын
Amen
@patriciahopey13845 жыл бұрын
Ouch.
@patriciahopey13845 жыл бұрын
@WildWonkyWizard if words could make wishes come true ..you'd have said differently. 3cheers from Canada
@firesign42975 жыл бұрын
😳😄😄😄👍👍
@Locomaid5 жыл бұрын
The earlier, the better 😂😂😂
@dennesey5 жыл бұрын
King of Dry Bar Comedy.
@JONNYBGood-nr7zs4 жыл бұрын
Did you know that a dishwasher can be stacked wrongly ...ever time !
@NightmareonWWW4 жыл бұрын
Thats so true, No matter how I try to copy her it's always wrong, I wash up by hand now, it's easier!
@karthick1004 жыл бұрын
Dave Daniels I wish I could do 10,000 likes
@palamidagheo45204 жыл бұрын
@@NightmareonWWW i tried that but i am using to much water
@Prakriti20414 жыл бұрын
as long as they are placed in a way all the dishes get clean, and they don't clank against eachother
@mz40oz4 жыл бұрын
Psshhh at least u load the dishwasher every now and then lol
@josepherhardt1644 жыл бұрын
The Hazardous Question: What are you thinking? Never, NEVER answer that with anything other than, "Nothing."
@bunkman645 жыл бұрын
INCREDBLE! AND HERE'S WHY.....This man just provided us with 5:06 of the funniest material I have heard in a LONG time and think about it...not ONE "F-BOMB" dropped, not ONE "S-BOMB" dropped and the Lord's name wasn't taken in vane one time. See people, it CAN BE DONE!
@tearfrost9845 жыл бұрын
Bunk Man dude is a Christian, that's why :)
@bunkman645 жыл бұрын
I know that. However, one smack on the thumb with a hammer will set that Christianity aside for a few moments trust me....I am one.
@Wattfgoogle4 жыл бұрын
Praise be! Praise be! Amen 🙏
@dennisarlan35645 жыл бұрын
Halarious...I'm picking up a cross between a Tim Allen and Walter the old man puppet from Jeff Dunham😎he nailed married life.. thanks for the laughs after work.keep it up.!!
@dennisduran85005 жыл бұрын
Walter, the old man.
@UberManTampa4 жыл бұрын
"I'm going bowling Columbo!" Lol
@maxchen72292 жыл бұрын
I laughed so much that my tears out of my eyes! I should watch this video 36 years ago when I married! 😂
@RichLadyThoughts4 жыл бұрын
"just practicing leaving for golf" LOLOL 😂
@belindaspechtenhauser66214 жыл бұрын
What a classic! Need to inform couple of guy friends of mine how to master the "pre Golf escape"!!!
@Skipper.175 жыл бұрын
Marriage is like a three ring circus. The engagement ring, the wedding ring then the suffer ring. The two greatest words in the English language...... Yes dear.
@blackdynamite71775 жыл бұрын
Or I'm Sorry!!!
@patriciahopey13845 жыл бұрын
Bitterness is never funny .
@patriciahopey13845 жыл бұрын
@WildWonkyWizard well there is Machinery to do that for you now
@ethandenton33935 жыл бұрын
Ugh. I hate all this. It sounds so pathetic. Could you please tell me that there's dignity in doing this? Im not married and don't have a girlfriend but it dirsbt really naje me want to when this is all i hear about. I don't plan to be constantly bossed around by my wife like everyone seems to be.. Is this really what everyone experiences? What am I missing?
@scottlang72715 жыл бұрын
Ethan, don't stress. The thing is, everyone's family "culture" (i.e. how we do things) differs, so when two people live together, the differences become apparent. Many (not all) men are not great with detail, or with being proactive. Many (not all) women express themselves in an indirect way, and wonder why their husbands don't pick up on subtle hints. As a result, most (all?) couples argue about how to do housework, whether it's how to cut vegetables the "correct" way, or hang clothes, or how often to vacuum, etc. There is immense dignity in this, and it lies in finding balance; to change from "we'll do it may" to finding "our way" of doing whatever. Some things are more important to one person than the other, some things really matter to both. In the first instance, a compromise helps, in the second, either a negotiated solution, or an agreement to disagree, can assist. But having said all that, on a day-to-day basis, it can be hard. Everyone goes through it, which is why it is such a great topic for humour. For a really good examination of this, Google "Mark Gungor", especially his show about men's brains and women's brains.
@travschula4 жыл бұрын
Jeff , thank you. Christian My wife and I have been married many years...and are still best friends that can knot seem to get enough of each other....we love to laugh and share....thank your sincere
@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr28234 жыл бұрын
Good! I was SO TIRED of hearing guys whine about how they hate being married and the other half whine how they never will. Meanwhile, you'll note, 90+% of people get married, and men...1st thing they do is get married AGAIN after a death. Immediately. She's not cold yet. Women are like, i dunno. I'm happy now...lol
@DixieDee11 ай бұрын
It's refreshing to see that clean humor still exists; and that there are men out there that aren't afraid to make light of real life stuff like this. Thank you, Sir.
@saxonsteve5 жыл бұрын
This guy is great! Frist time viewer of his material and best of all NO SWEARING!! Great job Jeff!!!!
@geographicoddity94445 жыл бұрын
Clean and funny as hey. Best I’ve seen in ages! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
@kookie4nookie4 жыл бұрын
I haven’t heard of this dude ever and he had me dying! Gonna binge watch all of his stuff now. 😂
@cafe82714 жыл бұрын
Do it while the getting is good, i have an eary feeling he wont be alive much longer.
@deborahjames82514 жыл бұрын
My first time seeing him I love it 😂😂😂😂😂😂
@AirFire185 жыл бұрын
This man is saving the new generation with his words of wisdom here! 😂😂
@billyost14795 жыл бұрын
I'm not sure I could go the whole round with this video. I had to pause it to catch my breath. During that time I had an epiphany... Hole cow... I didn't know he married the same woman I did!
@svpjef5 жыл бұрын
Bill Yost haha nice!
@cthulpiss5 жыл бұрын
Sooo.... it was your underwear ?
@mimilong38175 жыл бұрын
Bill Yost: Oh, hmmm...maybe those were your underwear on the floor.🤔
@davemuckeye5 жыл бұрын
Bill Yost ... our wives _ALL_ graduate from the same "Wives University"... some just come out with Higher Distinctions than others...
@scottburton25284 жыл бұрын
Pray for me: I have a Filipina wife so I have to deal with the code plus a language barrier! But Jeff Allen makes me laugh about it.
@mrsmacca1264 жыл бұрын
Scott Burton that’s what you get. Marry American.
@waynebryan94964 жыл бұрын
Yeah but shes probably drop dead gorgeous.
@zahrahusain59653 жыл бұрын
Wayne Bryan hardly any of them are gorgeous 😏
@steverogers71804 жыл бұрын
Mister Jeff Allen you are my new favorite comedian. You not only make me laugh, but you do it in a way that I see other people's points of view a little bit better
@MarcG74244 жыл бұрын
When I first started dating my wife I told her I'm not good at puzzles or riddles tell me what you want because if you make me guess I will get it wrong
@vondahe4 жыл бұрын
I’ve tried that, too. It doesn’t work. They only remember what benefits them later in an argument.
@MarcG74244 жыл бұрын
Well I've been divorced before and she knew I didn't mind being single so maybe she took me seriously besides we dated 2 years before we got married so I had a time to see if it took
@MarcG74244 жыл бұрын
Wife to Husband: Honey just tell me the truth. Husbands Brain: Don't you dare
@josepherhardt1644 жыл бұрын
And did you have this put on a branding iron and mark yourself with it? Because women don't remember ... things that they don't want to remember.
@adriennk94444 жыл бұрын
My husband told me to be direct and say what I want, otherwise he won't understand. I try.
@capnpete26724 жыл бұрын
One of my most favorite comics! He has relationships down cold. Spot on.
@maxstone97804 жыл бұрын
“Yes dear” and “ your so right” works for me after 30 years.
@dennischang28034 жыл бұрын
Max Stone yes... and make sure you dont ever add the word "always" between "so" and "right"..... i learnt that the hard way 😅😅😅🤣🤣🤪
@waynebryan94964 жыл бұрын
But u look 35?
@maxstone97804 жыл бұрын
Wayne Bryan 58
@waynebryan94964 жыл бұрын
Wait what? Wassup with your avatar? Is that you?
@maxstone97804 жыл бұрын
Wayne Bryan Ha Ha. I do the LensCrafters headshots.
@stevew190411 ай бұрын
Seriously, this kinda stuff should be mandatory viewing for young people about to marry. 100% accurate and could save untold heartache in the early years when they’re still figuring out communication. Brilliant clean comedy, a rare thing these days, well done!
@joysingers61935 жыл бұрын
Now this guy is the funniest I've seen in years! Sent this to my son and son-in-law!
@MathUHenry5 жыл бұрын
This is THE funniest video I have seen in a very long time!!!
@vanw15044 жыл бұрын
This is a universal concept! Clean, funny comedy! 👍🏾
@ankurthakur64244 жыл бұрын
This was absolutely brilliant. Love you.
@grumpysquid4 жыл бұрын
The book Love & Respect said all the truth couples should ever need to finally get peace: she requires love. He requires respect. Both are a must for it to work.
@grumpysquid4 жыл бұрын
Dale Hemme that’s why Only one definition matters: God’s. Human defining and redefining love is futile.
@elwoodblues96134 жыл бұрын
What I've seen if the couples are either Baby Boomers or Generation X, because both generations have been infected with Feminism: The men love their wives, and want to show them lots of love, but their wives show them only indifference & contempt and not respect. This is the case for both couples in church and out of church. Why do these women want their husbands to live in such an environment? They should stop playing games with these good men and file for divorce already. The good news is that I don't see this in the young couples who were raised by these dads who've had their lives beat out of them and these moms who say "I want it all now."
@shsavior25054 жыл бұрын
I sent this clip to my wife the argument is still ongoing for the third day! big mistake.
@jakethesnake27584 жыл бұрын
Rookie mistake
@honeykular92364 жыл бұрын
Sh Savior Omg😱😱🤣🤣🤣 u poor man Just wait.... it does not end after 3 days. It will keep coming back as a flashback 🤣🤣🤣
@ifoundmyavalon4 жыл бұрын
My husband sent it to me and I think it’s hilarious. Your wife needs to lighten up
@belindaspechtenhauser66214 жыл бұрын
Can't help but laugh. Bet you are also.
@AirFire184 жыл бұрын
Never send a video to send a message. You got what you dished 🤣. Send this to her when all is good 😂
@juliannakaberovsky45452 жыл бұрын
"You wanna be right? or you wanna be happy?" this one got me bad cause its true! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
@maremiy90073 жыл бұрын
“QUIT TALKING IN CODE AND TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!!!!” 🤣LMAO 😂
@dbsven70175 жыл бұрын
70 percent funny, 30 percent sad, and 100 percent true.
@moeshouse5755 жыл бұрын
when i got married my dad had one word of ad vice. always thank her for the meal made for you. you dont have to say it was good. but you DO have to thank her for fixing it for you.
@sarahs39885 жыл бұрын
That is good advice, and if it is good, tell her that too.
@Wolfmysticstudios4 жыл бұрын
Oh my gosh the couple you just described is basically my grandparents hahaha. I have seen that exact situation with them walking down the street in Florida no less
@hasdrubalsosamarquez54304 жыл бұрын
I love Dry Bar Comedy! ♥️
@Bennybeenhad99pts4 жыл бұрын
“Weighed down by a half century of apathy” lol😂😂🤣
@leelastoma58094 жыл бұрын
Sooooooo funny and not one curse word . AWESOME 👏👏👏👏
@kimistyshariff9722 жыл бұрын
"Where are you going?" "Just practicing leaving for golf" 😂😂😂
@cntrolman14 жыл бұрын
Was married 38+ years. Thank you for the humorous memories. This qas great!