Useless Spells

[@MalevolentDivinity]

"I rolled a 72 for stealth." "You retroactively avoid all unwanted attention going back five years."

[@Schmeethe88]

She passes into the Stealth Plane. Similar to Etherealness, except without the ability to float or pass through objects. :)

[@Necrapocalypse]

Why'd she bring her pathfinder character to a 5e game?

[@xekon14]

Schmeethe88 So just the plane of being invisible

[@stm7810]

@@xekon14 no, you are fully undetectable by sound, touch, smell, all of it, you could steal the clothes of a person and hide a grenade in their butt without them noticing you.

[@dindapriska]

You also appear as a cameo in other universes

[@Gasfiend]

"I made you a better wizard. You don't have to rely on Fireball anymore." Strong words coming from someone in Fireball range.

[@Bob-aaaaa]

Crap guide to dnd wizarddddd

[@tentales10]

I see that you too are a fellow of culture.

[@SamuelDancingGallew]

Even stronger words from someone in counterspell range

[@lolbots686]

fireball? oh please that spell is nothing but bad. sides i have reflect. so for the assholes that are gonna try to fireball me know this. im gonna uno reverse your asses

[@MaximillianGreil]

@@SamuelDancingGallew You can only counterspell silly wizards. We mighty sorcerers are uncounterspellable!

[@vinvent9906]

"I rolled a 72 to stealth" (had me in fucking tears) "Everyone forgets they ever knew you“

[@musicalsystem927]

Who are you playing again?

[@BrookTheUndeadDM]

Assuming a level 20 rogue with expertise in Stealth and Pass without a trace on them, the staff would have to give a +25 to stealth if she rolls a natural 20

[@joshuazimmerman3718]

Spoilers for Spiderman: No Way Home

[@TimaeusEXE]

That'd be a sad Rogue backstory. While in stealth their original party forgot them and left them behind.

[@ninjasquirrels]

“Everyone forgets they ever knew you”…love it, totally going to use that next session!!!

[@SammyBear]

Or if an item is cursed, "I cast Remove Curse!" "Okay, you put down the item." "Great, now we can use it safely! I pick it up!" "Okay, you're cursed." "...what?"

[@TheDarkkilla12]

How a glitch works in DnD.

[@Darthquackius]

@@TheDarkkilla12 there is actually a glitch curse strat. You get a were-curse, either bear or wolf. Collect a vile or your own blood. Cast Remove Curse on yourself. You can at will drink the cursed blood and regain the curse, allowing you to turn into a werecreature at will. You can remove the curse when convenient and as long as you gather a vile of blood first you don't lose the choice of having the curse.

[@goose7618]

@@Darthquackius That's more an exploit/loophole than glitch

[@ladyjuno2456]

Remove curse breaks attunement, if an items picked up you're not instantly attuned (most of the time) thus its safe to pick up as long as you're not attuned to it

[@SammyBear]

@@ladyjuno2456 Yeah, playing it fully RAW like that is true, although the equivalent scenario there would be like "sweet now I can use it safely" *attunes*

[@ryanlaurie8733]

I like how he could pretend he was going to play a cleric just fine, but he almost got ill when he said warlock XD

[@wabschall]

All about them slots

[@darugger1130]

I mean how often do you have a short rest?

[@anansigrimm5273]

Cleric can become broken

[@bskec2177]

Clerics of the Light Domain get Fireball. ;-)

[@vampierlobster5660]

Warlock is better than wizard

[@dylandugan76]

Ah, the ol': "I cast Knock." "You mean Summon Enemies?"

[@renookami4651]

Yes, more exp for the party

[@WolfgangDoW]

Best knock spell is the bardic knock spell. You literally just knock on a door, it's epic. Like what adventure just knocks on a door in a dungeon? None, it's obviously part of the bad guy team with his hands too full, so they go to open the door for him. Surprise round!

[@nemo-zl1vm]

@@WolfgangDoW I miss old school Spoony

[@drigondii]

Use knock in the middle of a thunderstorm

[@benjammin5328]

That’s not UNtrue

[@altromonte15]

My favourite scene of Lord of the Rings is the one where the Balrog attacks, Gandalf raises his staff, then he stops and says "ah sorry guys there is too much of a draft here, guess we're all gon die."

[@ZakkuTakku]

"It was too blustery today, so my spell fails?!" What's even more ridiculous about that part of the skywrite spell is that in an altitude where clouds can form, there's always a strong wind anyway XD

[@kenziemathews926]

" But what if they're *cursed?* " " They're not..- " * SLAMS DESK * " THEN *WHY WOULD YOU TELL US THAT!?!?* " I connected to this on an emotional level..

[@codebracker]

The worst part is that Identify doesn't actually tell you if it's cursed

[@haku8135]

@@codebracker no it does. A curse needs to specify if it doesn't.

[@codebracker]

@@haku8135 From the DMG: Most methods of identifying items, including the identify spell, fail to reveal such a curse, although lore might hint at it.

[@haku8135]

@@codebracker "such a curse" A specific type of curse, not EVERY curse. Most curses can be sussed out with Identify. This spell and attunement are GENERALLY the only way to tell if an item is cursed. Look up an item like the armor of vulnerability. It literally says you need identify to learn the curse without attuning.

[@codebracker]

@@haku8135 well that both seem like specific cases

[@skrumbleton3745]

My favourite part of these skits is the cut-off wheezes

[@billstephens396]

When I wheeze, people think I have Covid...

[@jacksonbrandenburg3806]

Bill Stephens I gotta constantly remind people I got asthma, so kinda same.

[@magiv4205]

SAME

[@jacobroy5390]

Same, kinda reminds me of the interdimensional cable bits from Rick and Morty xD

[@SamuraiJACsr]

There was a cutoff woohoo kinda

[@Jediknight404]

DM: Stop casting fireball Also DM *continues to throw hordes of enemies that like to group together.*

[@codyraugh6599]

As a forever DM i love watching my groups hoarded foes getting fireballed...but experience multiple systems, and defeating power gamers and rules lawyers. We have learned that while terrain is the DM's best weapon against your party in general, formations and militarized tactics and formations can be all the more interesting puzzles for players to fight as fireballs just wash over magic canceling shields, or against a lesser caster who happens to know dispell in the backline.

[@NecromancyForKids]

Fireball has an unnecessarily large radius. It can generally wash out an entire dungeon room. So what do you mean "group together"?

[@Jediknight404]

@@NecromancyForKids We haven't been in a dungeon as of yet. We've been fighting outdoor battles up til this point.

[@Invisifly2]

@@NecromancyForKids There's also the fact that fireball does really good damage, especially when you first get it. Enough damage to be absolutely worth only hitting a single enemy.

[@RayPoreon]

I cast Shatter

[@tigerkeyroll]

For True Strike I lean into the "Your magic grants you a brief insight into the target’s defenses." and tell my players the monsters AC and Damage Resistances/Immunities.

[@legolew2336]

I will make note of this... That can actually make this spell useful and makes sense for what the spell does.

[@tybronx2446]

If I could JUST cast it on SOMEONE ELSE. It wouldn't be as useless. But no. I wouldn't even mind making it a 1st level spell to balance it out. That spell is so dumb....

[@bradleymallard6347]

I homebrewed true strike to be a bonus action lvl 1 so I could do a build where I could get advantage on my cantrip attacks

[@Bradley_Dragon]

@@tybronx2446 in 5e (what baldurs gate uses) it can be used on others and it is a level 1 cantrip. still kinda trash. i never seen it work.

[@ncamer]

⁠@@Bradley_Dragon that’s not how it works in 5e. BG3 is generally faithful to the 5e rule set but not 100% (which is fine, some things work better as video games vs tabletop)

[@Graknorke]

Wizard with a weird spell list is in my experience more terrifying because it means they're up to something.

[@haku8135]

DM-......Why'd you take continual flame? Wizard-............. Just cause.....

[@sethb3090]

@@haku8135 honestly I'm not sure how you'd break continual flame. It's just a light source. You can't burn things, set things on fire, or deal damage with it. For all intents and purposes it's the Light cantrip with unlimited duration.

[@haku8135]

@@sethb3090 depends on how big a flame the dm let's you make. #AllProfitNoWork

[@stevenseufert2520]

Don't worry. The players are never up to something.

[@sethb3090]

@@haku8135 it says right in the spell that the flame is torch sized

[@raguru1032]

Skywrite is great, used it to try and convince a cult army “Leave or die” we could hear laughter over yonder so I casted Meteor Swarm.

[@claude-alexandretrudeau1830]

Now that's how you play a wizard.

[@KumaoftheForest]

I used Skywrite to convince a cult that the god they worshipped was angry with them, made them kill each other in mass, then spent an hour looting the 50 plus bodies

[@kanucks9]

@@KumaoftheForest DM: Everybody knows about skywrite, now they know a wizard is trying to mess with them. ☹️

[@kanucks9]

@@KumaoftheForest that sounds like a proper fun campaign tbh. Get wrecked cult

[@Zombiewithabowtie]

Also, in the RAW, it sates that a strong wind can disperse the lettering of Skywrite *early*, not instantaneously - and since it's an hour long spell, so long as you're not standing in a hurricane when you cast it, the lettering should remain in place long enough to be visible.

[@KiboraVT]

"Just fireball" "Just fireball" "Just fireball" "JUST FIREBALL!" -Jocat, 2019

[@mr.Jupiter00]

JUST FIREBA- *sounds of burning flesh*

[@hometimemayhem928]

Ai Cast FIAHBAWL

[@funwithcoding2818]

Use fireball and only fireball

[@cheatcode436]

JONIKA HAS SPOKEN.

[@howdoilogin]

I got twenty or so different spells that say your Fireball spamming Wiztard is useless.

[@UnderdarkTrans]

Fun fact: True Strike in 3.5 was a situationally good spell that added a +20 bonus to your next attack, on top of ignoring concealment miss chance.

[@Darthquackius]

still is in Pathfinder. good support spell. cast it on yourself. cast it on an ally. chuck it into a ring of spell storing and give it to the fighter.

[@marc-antoineleber109]

I love to pair it with drow poison (or any other poison tbh)

[@andreiha1669]

Yeah, the original was the GOAT, you always had one even if you never used it, just for the moments you really needed it .

[@jackfredricks6223]

Use with certain spells like Enervation that are no saving throw but a ranged touch attack roll. With a +20 to hit on a touch attack, that's basically a 95% chance to succeed. 3.5 is still better than 5e.

[@hometimemayhem928]

I've given the ability to give it to someone else, so you can Give true strike to your rogue to give them sneak attack

[@Kurtlen]

“I cast Find Traps.” “There is no trap.” “I walk through the room!” “The weak floor falls out from underneath you. Make a DEX save.” “I cast Find Traps.” “There is a trap. It will poison you.” “Where is the trap?” “You don’t know. It could be anywhere within 100 feet of you.” “Well I probably shouldn’t open this chest then. I go into the next room and open the door!” “The chest was fine. The door in the next room actually had the trap. You take 100 points of poison damage and instantly die.”

[@codebracker]

Actually it can't detect traps that aren't in your line of sight, like behinds corner or under a carpet

[@jondw]

@@codebracker wait so if you can't see the trap it can't detect them? Then what is the point? Just put something in the way of the trap(which you generally don't want traps to be seen)and the spell is useless

[@kamencraftbrasil4367]

@@jondw I believe that if the object hiding the trap can be considered part of it, then the spell detect it

[@JOfJaZ]

Kamencraft Brasil yeah a pit under a rug can’t be detected but a drawer built to trigger a bomb if opened would be seen as a trap

[@KissedByFire16]

i'd totally just change that spell to just be Detect Traps. i don't know why anyone would waste slots on it

[@meris8486]

*Rogue rolls dice* "That's a 72 to stealth" So accurate

[@sarcirinsdaefarin3950]

Rolls nat 1 when attacking with the actual spell book Oh no.

[@jesterssketchbook]

maybe it was too blustery :D

[@austinmuse6029]

He didn't use True Strike last round

[@amon582]

Can you not stack it a bunch of times before a fight happens to just one one shot mobs the next time you fight? Never played whatever this game of fuck this guy in particular is

[@Invisifly2]

@@amon582 The effects of true strike last for only one round, and only on one attack. It grants advantage to your next attack (if it is done by the end of your next round) which lets you roll two times and pick the highest number. The reason this is useless is because you can just roll two attacks over those two turns instead of blowing one casting the spell, potentially landing double the hits and doing double the damage. If it could, say, be cast as a bonus action so you could use it on the same turn, you would almost *always* have advantage on most attacks because you'd just do that every turn. It's a cantrip so you can do it infinitely. Some ways of making it actually usable 1) Make it work on your next attack regardless of who it's against. As it works right now you only gain advantage on the next attack against one enemy. 2) Make it work on *every* attack you make next turn, giving it useful synergy with extra attacks without being crazy for a cantrip. 3) Make the duration longer so you can prepare the spell in advance, making it useful for initiating. 4) Make it so you can cast it on your allies, so it's a handy ranged situational buff, instead of absolute trash.

[@amon582]

Invisifly2 it really is trash

[@trinitydalfae8478]

I find it hilarious how 5E changed the knock spell to have the same effect as what was previously a cursed/joke item.

[@wadespencer3623]

Between that and Pass Without Trace, they were gonna get their necks stabbed by an angry rogue.

[@orihoola]

What item is that?

[@trinitydalfae8478]

@@orihoola Lockpicks of alarm. They can open any lock and also notify every nearby creature that the lock has been picked.

[@Darthquackius]

yeah like... it's okay in a dungeon that youve already cleared when you just want a guaranteed way to open a locked chest

[@Darthquackius]

anywhere else it's a get wrecked

[@misingleter3119]

“That’s 72 to sneak” Dm: totally used to this BS: “ok”

[@rocketiermaster7498]

This is why i made my Rogue Stealth and Perception-based. Level 5, and I have 19 passive perception (the only reason it's not higher is because we're doing Standard array)

[@WexMajor82]

@@rocketiermaster7498 Our rogue has 26 of passive perception. And I have seen hm disappear in front of me, with a 45 of stealth. Level 13.

[@amgoose3493]

"I roll 5,000 to charisma and seduce the terasque"

[@cydozer3932]

@@amgoose3493 i once played a bard that had +16 on persuasion and every roll of 9 and below was turned into a 10, basically giving him a minimum of 26 on persuasion at Lv. 6

[@mattsmith457]

@@WexMajor82 Pass without trace = +10, dex = +5, expertise = +10, raw roll = max of 20. 45 to stealth, unlikely, but it can happen. Your DM is dumb for making him hidden in front of you though.

[@MetalHev]

DM when wizard has a weird spell list: ":D" DM when bard has the same spell list: *intense sweating*

[@AngelusAnsell]

our bard is 100% pure rp, flavor, and chaos. one day he was absent and had to be played by our resident powergamer...and literally the first half of the session was an ambush by skulks in the middle of breakfast. Watching this man have a conniption fit every single turn was beautiful.

[@MetalHev]

@@AngelusAnsell all bards are powergamers, they're just playing a different game than everyone else

[@thenopeandneverking1722]

Facts

[@wadespencer3623]

@@AngelusAnsell Cast invisibility and pretend that you are also a skulk.

[@bryanmerel]

The difference is, the wizard will use it as is. The Bard SEDUCE the spell to make it a lot stronger!

[@seanellis5410]

"The staff of Barding." Dear Lord, I've never felt such hatred towards anything more in my life, and I'm a jazz musician.

[@emessar]

It would be funny if the Staff of Barding just created magical barding for a horse ... but could only be used by a bard.

[@Sip_Dhit]

Which instrument, because if you're a trumpet than I can tell you you're the lowest of the low

[@seanellis5410]

Sip Dhit I’m a guitarist, which is almost as bad lol

[@wavestrider2160]

"Staff of barding" Its just another word for didgeridoo isnt it...

[@darthluk7512]

@@emessar oh man i understood "staff of farting" and it was way funnier that way

[@PhyrexianGrace]

“I rolled a 72 for stealth” DM: you gain the ability to turn invisible in real life

[@philippegauvin-vallee9371]

I actually calculate the highest possible stealth check without magic item. Besides the character consideration, you need a casting of Pass Without Trace, a casting of Guidance and a d12 Bardic Inspiration die. The character needs 18 levels of Battle Master with the Ambush maneuver, expertise in Stealth, a Dexterity score of 20, and the Mark of Shadow Elf race. If you roll the highest number of all dice, here is the result: 20 (d20) + 5 (Dexterity) + 12 (Expertise) + 12 (Bardic Inspiration) + 12 (Ambush) + 10 (Pass Without Trace) + 4 (Mark of Shadow) + 4 (Guidance) for a total of 79. Even with magic items, no other check can lead to a higher total.

[@maciejcocieto4361]

Absolutely mad man.

[@justsomeperson5110]

8:02 "You don't have to rely on Fireball anymore. Please stop casting that spell." Okay. *Lightning Bolt!*

[@Arella17]

This honestly felt more and more like the DM was punishing the player for being a Wizard -_- which happens in so many games.

[@eliasofpi]

Me: Shatter My DMs: Dear god not again Me: if only Zelda could see me smasHiNg POtS nOW!

[@derpaderpy4931]

DISPEL MAGIC!

[@scarletrose2880]

"Here it's a staff of barding only bards can use it" "AAAAAHHHHHH"

[@carolannedewar5066]

Yeah that was funny

[@renatamaclean1163]

Of course, it wouldn't be hugely useful to a bard, since it just lets you enhance the armour of your mount

[@Flailmorpho]

I do something specific with true strike, I often add "[weapon] of true strike" to the game, which automatically casts true strike on any enemy you hit with it, so if you maintain concentration AND that enemy doesn't die before your next turn, you get a free true strike

[@davidwoek3041]

That's nice!

[@martindavids1294]

My homebrew is casting true strike as a bonus action

[@MediumDon]

Cool

[@luckylucas8596]

Martin Davids That’s what the Samurai subclass of Fighter’s main gimmick is. I actually like the idea of casting True Strike as a reaction so that you have a better chance to attack whoever attacked you on your next turn without swallowing a whole subclass’ gimmick. It’s not a big deal if you never have Fighters in the party anyway though.

[@alexanderlea7882]

*Rogue with Elven Accuracy has entered the chat*

[@MrPenguinFingers]

The casual “that’s uh a 72 to stealth” is my favourite part

[@lumonetic1124]

average expertise roll

[@Wolham]

"its a staff of barding, only bards can use it" "hnn-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH" I almost pissed myself at this bit :'D

[@vertonimal]

"That's uhhhh.... 72 to stealth" and that is the story of how I slipped between the worlds. Neither my god nor death itself could find me, and I was lost to the abyss.

[@92edoy]

This is not "getting out of the campaign" anymore. This is straight glitching through the floor and falling outside of the map.

[@4shi10]

they'll patch this bug in the next update, for now stop trying to clip through the fabric of reality

[@92edoy]

@@4shi10 ok. I cast "/unstuck"

[@Killrbladez]

@@92edoy That reminded me one of the first times I used roll20. Me: *moves my character around while waiting for DM to get back, accidentally moves him outside of the board* DM after he gets back: "Okay, as you guys look around-wait, where's your character?" Me: "He went into the void." DM: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HE'S NOT ON THE BOARD!" Me: *trying to find the small corner actually still clickable* "Yeah, he's in the void." DM: *Puts a new instance of my character* "Okay, you guys see up ahead-WHY ARE THERE TWO NOW?!" Me: *casually moving 1st instance over 2nd* "First, you'll have to understand half-a presses."

[@92edoy]

@@Killrbladez lol. To answer that, we need to talk about parallel universes. Edit: true quote

[@TheSpoonalot]

"Please stop casting Fireball." "I will stop casting Fireball when your encounters stop being clown cars/closets filled with KOBOLDS." "What if they were pixies instead?" "I wish replacing silence and knock with fireball was an option because that sounds like you're making the clown closets smaller, and distinctly loot-shaped."

[@TheSilverPhoenix100]

Till the pixies cast polymorph on themselves and suddenly they turn into dinosaurs

[@mrunknown138]

If all my encounters were kobolds i would have a amry of cute little dragon people

[@japo3867]

*next encounter: Literal clown car full of salamanders assassins* Big Bad: I am sooo hung over...what did I do last night?

[@Sip_Dhit]

@@japo3867 apparently a kobold orgy, is this what happens when the BBEG is a bard?

[@japo3867]

@@Sip_Dhit Pretty much XD BBEG: *surveys the results of the debauchery* This may be the most wholesome evening activity I've engaged in in years! I need to go kick a dozen puppies with my morning coffee to balance things out or I won't feel right about today.

[@nocrustashe]

"Knock can be useful while combining it with Silence" Silence: No spells with Verbal components can be cast within the radius. Knock: *has Verbal components* Edit: Thank you for all the comments. I am now educated in spell area and Metamagic.

[@anthonydavid3348]

I mean, it might not be a completely bad synergy. I’m not sure if this would play out perfectly, but if you have the space, you could cast beyond the thing you’re opening so it’s at the edge of the sphere-or at least you’re not *in* it. Not optimal, for sure, but not unusable.

[@reeceandben4876]

I came here for this

[@mjp152]

Silent Spell (metamagic feat). That was a thing in 3.5 and we still have them in Pathfinder - dont know if they are in 5e

[@trentonsale7007]

Obviously all you have to do is use minor illusion and create a lot of other knocking sounds so no one can find which one is the real spell

[@anthonydavid3348]

@@trentonsale7007 …this is the superior solution

[@damienpeters6004]

"A narrow corridor you say? I cast Find Traps!" "Yep. There are traps here." "Ah-hah! I move around the traps to-" "Oh you don't know where they are." "Come again?" "Per the spell, you know that there are traps here, but you can't pinpoint their location or any information about them." "It's called FIND Traps! How does that make sense? You know what? I'm going down the other hallway where I didn't sense traps." "You take 37 fire damage." "HOW" "Exploding Rune. Find Traps doesn't work on magical traps." *Anguished wailing*

[@shdowdrgonrider]

Pretty sure it does work on magical traps. As per the spell description, "A trap, for the purpose of this spell, includes anything that would inflict a sudden or unexpected effect you consider harmful or undesirable, which was specifically intended as such by its creator." And an example within said description is a glyph of warding which is a magical trap.

[@gotenksta]

@@shdowdrgonrider And it does give away some info, the general nature of the danger posed by a trap you sense.

[@Lurklen]

@@gotenksta Yeah, should say "and you know roughly what they'll do to you." Which means you know kind of where they must be, especially in a 5-ft wide corridor.

[@YayapLives]

@@shdowdrgonrider poorly maintained architecture on the other hand...

[@15thTimeLord]

@@shdowdrgonrider Does this include traps the DM has set for me? As mentioned in another comment, "weak floorboards".

[@PainfulJoy]

"I've made you a better wizard. You don't have to rely on fireball anymore! Please stop casting that spell." That's a brave request for someone in fireball range.

[@shinobidaniel_12]

How did you make the wizard worse by adding spells

[@solaridraconi6225]

@@shinobidaniel_12 By only adding useless spells, of course.

[@shinobidaniel_12]

@@solaridraconi6225 true

[@shmlorp7927]

Someone: *Adds fireball to Wizard’s list of useless spells* Wizard: So you have chosen...death

[@billstephens396]

Rogue : - steals the wizard's fire breath potion - - sees the Fireball liquor label on the potion bottle -

[@AzureKyle]

Death, by fireball

[@mr.polydamasesquire9080]

It's treason then. >:D

[@geoshark12]

That’s bold of someone within fireball cast range

[@gotenksta]

Level 1-4 Wizard: ... Level 5 Wizard: So you have chosen... Death.

[@SpyrosKoronis]

I love the deadpan/awestruck way Colton delivers the phrase "This is truly a cursed moment".

[@Xenibalt]

he streams on twitch now

[@michaelminugh5357]

Skywrite's actually useful, I once used it to gather the entire town, so rather than get taken prisoner quietly it incited a revolution. It was glorious.

[@drakesdrum1]

Yeah Skywrite's a good (if situational) spell as long as you don't have the DM just go 'nah fuck you too windy'

[@KumaoftheForest]

Used Skywrite to make a cult think their evil deity was mad at them

[@shhinysilver1720]

Lol

[@SkyNinja759]

Reminds me of the photo of drones in the sky making a Day of The Dead skull with a sombero, the caption said something like "why aren't we using this technology to trick uncontacted tribes into thinking their God(s) are mad at them?" You could use it to instill fear into a primitive group of enemies. Even if they can't read it, seeing the heavens "contact" them could shake them enough to pack up and leave.

[@Wiles731]

It was used often in early critical role to powerful affect. Similarly started revolutions, or signaled beginnings of sieges to armies.

[@JoeSyxpack]

"You enter the room and see five-" "FIREBALL!" "I didn't even finish describing what was in the room." "I don't care! FIREBALL!"

[@avaren7660]

You have successfully destroyed 5 chests and see melted precious metal on the floor, ruined by your fireball

[@primeemperor9196]

"Five balors walk out of the room, angrh that someone just blasted them with fire."

[@d3vitron779]

There are now 5 scorched, half disintegrated orphans on the ground. I hope you’re happy with yourself.

[@Lectrikfro]

@@d3vitron779 Mission accomplished.

[@mekkthemighty1962]

the room is a kitchen and on the table you see 5 bags of flour, your fireball strikes them dead on causing a dust explosion, roll a Constitution Save

[@JosiahTheSiah]

“That’s, uh, 72 to stealth.” The way Spencer delivered the line, just pure gold 😂😂😂

[@DragonlordN7]

Jacob’s panicked “AS PER THE SPELL’S DESCRIPTION?!” At 4:17 gets me every time.

[@bye1551]

Ngl I thought it would just be a 4 second video saying "all but fireball" lol.

[@tardersauce3578]

You clicked on an 8 minute video expecting it to be 4 seconds

[@homerman76]

@@tardersauce3578 23 second expected for G Fuel promotion, and the other 7 minutes and 56 seconds were expected to just be the wizard staring at us :P

[@jefflechef5753]

True polymorph exists.

[@kylestanley7843]

@@jefflechef5753 ahh, one of the most busted spells in the game lol

[@eugenides04]

@@tardersauce3578 If you're on mobile and you get push notifications, they don't have video length on them. You also don't get to see the length of a video if it's linked to you somewhere. (Discord, for example.)

[@TheLikenessOfNormal]

"Unfortunately, Asmodeus has true sight and can see it anywa-" "GODDAAAAAAAAMNIT!"

[@droman608]

This.

[@jacobsipes]

Jacob is so committed to the bit that he legit laughs without breaking character. Love it.

[@detectivekeeboy7029]

Some say that if you chant “poopy poopy stinky butt” in the mirror at 3am, a hooded figure named your parents will come and cast the spell adoption on you.

[@cainanlove8432]

Lol.

[@polygon2745]

"That's a 72 to stealth"

[@poufpoufpouf5028]

pretty sub-par for a rogue

[@malmasterson3890]

Nice

[@Virtualmess32]

Idk why that was so fucking funny to me

[@TheTrueLeafless]

Our Sorcerer casted every single day See Invisibility to see her permanently invisible ghost girlfriend from time to time. Helped with their relationship a lot....much to the displeasure of the remaining party.

[@funnelrust6613]

What did they have against ghost gf? She sounds lovely!

[@TheTrueLeafless]

@@funnelrust6613 They were very noisy at night...and day....both could barely keep their hands off each other.

[@kylepessell1350]

@@TheTrueLeafless That's sounds even more awkward than my paladin's relationship with his sentient sword. Especially after his fling with a demigod dryad.

[@melanthahoang831]

Still a better love story than twilight

[@TheTrueLeafless]

@@melanthahoang831 Don't you dare! On the path of their love story they also encountered a changeling barmaid, who both fell in love with as well. The Ghost Gf was a barmaid in life and got resurrected after the party found a hoard of 500000 gold pieces and returned it. The Sorceress multiclassed in Bard to follow the class path she had not yet taken, but always carried in her heart (for it is the bards creed to pick up barmaids). And soon all three of them get married to each other in one of the next sessions. In short: I will true polymorph you into a Flumph if you ever dare to campare Twilight to their romance, for I am wrathful (and noticed that polymorphing people into Flumphs is quite amusing as an alternative to killing them).

[@SaraSpalding]

But True Strike™ could be used in an encounter where you are too far away or otherwise unable to attack this turn, will be close enough on your next turn, and it is crucial that you land exactly one hit and somehow you have no other party members or spells or resources that could be used to accomplish the same or better either on this turn or the rounds of initiative between. One day true strike will have it's day and my spell book will be ready damn it

[@SaraSpalding]

and I will cast it and then miss anyway

[@frapseddatsht]

Previous iterations of true strike were a lot more useful. Due to some changes that overall I agree with in 5th edition, some spells got kind of bad. True strike used to give something nutty like +20 and ignores all cover on your next attack roll. If there was something like a poisoned arrowhead, or even just getting through some enemy's very tough armor it was alright. It was never something you'd always have prepared but having the option to plan around was nice.

[@beastwarsFTW]

It only had a range of 30ft, most damaging cantrips have a range of 60ft. Unless your fighting an ice devil I can't see it being used.

[@stm7810]

or if you're using a poisoned weapon or a spell and want to hit.

[@gotenksta]

Except you need to be close to use True Strike

[@spleeN_]

As a DM, I've used Truestrike for a low-level magic item before. It's called a Dagger of Truestrike, and it's basically a dagger with a living eyeball in a glass-sphere on the pommel. It doesn't deal any extra damage, but it does come with three charges of Truestrike that get replenished at a long-rest. It gets dropped by a cult member who was using it to sacrifice some townsfolk in a relatively-early story quest.

[@Shcroft2]

Why though? Wouldn't it still require an action to cast, and then what's the point of doing that instead of just attacking twice?

[@spleeN_]

@Samuel Ashcroft you can cast a charge of truestrike as a free action before attacking.

[@Shcroft2]

@@spleeN_ that makes more sense

[@Sorain1]

See, that's a PRACTICAL magic item! A cultist really can't afford to miss an attack that's part of a sacrifice after all. It might be decades before the stars are right to try again. Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be to screw that up!?

[@dragoniceful]

@@Sorain1 dammit Steven, now we have to wait another thousand years for the stars to be right again!

[@nef36]

Now that the wizard who only uses fireball has gone through his character arc, you now have to introduce the warlock who only uses Eldritch Blast. *And they have to be in the same party*

[@NoConsequenc3]

The difference is that the Warlock is doing what they're suppose to be doing

[@sadlerbw9]

Warlocks exist for two reasons: 1) burn through one or two legendary resistances on a boss (cool warlock spells never actually go off, they just eat up legendaries.) 2) cast Eldritch Blast. Its not our fault, it's all the designers gave us!

[@arsenelupin5424]

sadlerbw9 To be fair,if they dedicated three or more eldritch invocations on it, then you start getting the impression that they meant for you to use it as your main source of magic damage

[@nef36]

@@NoConsequenc3 The crux of their conflict.

[@sadlerbw9]

@@arsenelupin5424 Yep. Eldrich Blast is quite possibly the best damage dealing cantrip out there, and it is certainly MY main damage dealer. I was just joking how Wizards get a choice (you could theoretically take lightning bolt?), while Warlocks pretty much have to use EB as their go-to combat spell.

[@YayapLives]

A moment of silence for the rotting carcass of truestrike. *Meanwhile, in pathfinder* "I cast quickened truestrike and called shot the villains mouth with this potion in my sling."

[@ShiftyMcGoggles]

Wait. Callshot things into the people's mouth? *honking noises intensifies*

[@keymaster013]

Unfortunately you can't do this in pathfinder unless the DM agrees to ignore the Called Shot specific rule saying "true strike and other auto-hit effects turn a called shot into a normal attack bc fuck you, that's way too broken."

[@richmcgee434]

True Strike Level: Sor/Wiz 1 Components: V, F Casting Time: 1 standard action Range: Personal Target: You Duration: See text You gain temporary, intuitive insight into the immediate future during your next attack. Your next single attack roll (if it is made before the end of the next round) gains a +20 insight bonus. Additionally, you are not affected by the miss chance that applies to attackers trying to strike a concealed target. Focus A small wooden replica of an archery target. So, how come d20/3.0 got it right twenty years ago and 5th edition still hasn't fixed it despite knowing they screwed it up?

[@YayapLives]

@@keymaster013 more like, way too entertaining. Yeah we all were having a fun game so no one looked up called shot rules to check if they put in anti cheese. Glad we didnt. The unidentified potion turned out to be a homebrewed temporary dragon potion anyway so it did solve our large bandit camp problem... because the dragon problem was a lot scarier.

[@ShiftyMcGoggles]

@@YayapLives that sounds like the DM realised the anti-cheese too late, and decided to make things interesting.

[@DarkKingRosemar]

I could make True Strike useful with one change: Let you cast it on someone else. Bam! Support mage build

[@Zalied]

pretty much this. it would work if you were a multiclasser though and had 2 attacks in 1 turn. But wait what about just attacking twice? if you were in some situation where a missed attack could cause harm in some way. i know its getting oddly specific but.....yea.

[@TempestFirestorm]

@@Zalied If only there was some sort of action you could take that could give a multi-attacker advantage on their attack...

[@Zalied]

@@TempestFirestorm outside of multiclassing truestrike wouldnt be on a multi attacker and since thats part of the conversation i actually have no idea what your referencing

[@TempestFirestorm]

@@Zalied The assist action.

[@Zalied]

@@TempestFirestorm someone has to use the action though you cant assist your self which is what truestrike relatively does. yes you can get your familiar to do it but your familiar can be killed or busy at that moment for one reason or another while truestrike does it solo. so when talking about fixing truestrike you would want to come up with a way to make its a truely solo no exceptions spell.

[@ShadyDoorags]

"Skywrite can be used to send messages." Yeah, but the problem the wizard had was that it was slightly windy, so the spell failed.

[@ENCHANTMEN_]

The spell's description doesn't say that it fails if there's wind, it says that "a strong wind" can "end the spell early". Bear in mind the normal duration is 24 hours. So if there's strong wind, maybe it'll last for just an hour instead of 24. Worst case scenario, there's a storm, so it only lasts for 30 seconds. Either way, still usable.

[@louiesatterwhite3885]

​@@ENCHANTMEN_the really dumb thing is that at the altitude clouds form, there is always a strong wind.

[@ENCHANTMEN_]

@@louiesatterwhite3885 Clouds move pretty slowly when looked at from the ground. Unless it's a super windy day it could stick up there for awhile or drift across over many minutes.

[@GrokeytheHunter]

I feel like this could all be solved by using the sending spell

[@ashtongiertz8728]

2:17 huh, I was expecting the fail to be something like "unfortunately, the giants are illiterate."

[@idiocyincorporated7635]

That would be a fun way to force the encounter..

[@pjwhite6829]

"You don't have to rely on fireball anymore." Me, a necromancer who loves to blow shit up: I feel personally attacked.

[@akgwriting9481]

or a cleric of the light domain, thats me

[@DrapPep]

"I wish to know where the rouge is" HAD ME IN TEARS XD

[@sable7687]

rogue, not rouge

[@DrapPep]

@@sable7687 oh ok so its rogue, I thought it was rouge. But how about rgoue, can i do it like that?

[@blackmage1276]

@@DrapPep better than rouge

[@DrapPep]

@@blackmage1276 then i will spell it as rgoue for now on

[@riomio7852]

I feel called out

[@zimnylech527]

True Strike being useless hurts so much when you remember 3.5e True Strike. It was a 1st level spell that lasted until the end of your next turn and gave you a whopping +20 to the first attack roll you make... and it worked with spells.

[@kitsunekid16]

That's just insanity

[@zimnylech527]

@@kitsunekid16 It really... wasn't that powerful? You'd spend a whole round casting it, and then you HAD to spend the buff next turn or it expired. You'd usually get more mileage out of just attacking/casting two turns in a row. However, once you got to the level where you could hasten it or put it on an item... oh boy.

[@Resi1ience]

@@kitsunekid16 Presumably the idea is to either pair it with extra actions, or use it to guarantee a hit against an enemy with a high AC. Whereas with 5e true strike... I can't really think of a single situation where you'd rather have one slightly more likely hit instead of two normal hits.

[@stephensotor8104]

This is just the DM bullying a player.

[@darklusare7582]

I agree, that would be just bullying)) I mean, if they take the lesson maybe it will make them better, otherwise it's just sad

[@funnyvalentinedidnothingwrong]

To be fair, it's outright stated the wizard uses fireball as a crutch so....deserved.

[@Dream146]

@@funnyvalentinedidnothingwrong not their fault it's deliberately overpowered. Hell it's better damage than most high level evocations.

[@funnyvalentinedidnothingwrong]

@@Dream146 it's their fault for spamming it tho

[@SorowFame]

@@funnyvalentinedidnothingwrong if a spell works, use it. If the DM doesn’t like it then they should take measures to limit its effectiveness.

[@TheRealGuywithoutaMustache]

This is why you should let your wizard choose their own spells

[@koishily]

And then he chooses Fireball. The joke was Jacob's wizard cast nothing but Fireball

[@lnsflare1]

I got the exact opposite lesson from this.

[@hvymtal8566]

This wizard had it coming

[@XanKreigor]

@@koishily If it works, don't change it.

[@Trevbot789]

Yeah i wouldnt play a forced spell list unless its a one shot. If im a wizard and i got fireball, I'm using it when I want. Not my fault the dm cant improvise

[@rossthemoss6827]

The Morden sword spell..dear God It is bad, simply because why would anyone cast it when The BIg Old Hand exist

[@adamkaris]

How about Tenser's transformation lasting 10 minutes and giving you heavy armor proficiency. Even though it takes 10 minutes to equip heavy armor and you can't cast spells while wearing armor you aren't proficient in XD

[@rossthemoss6827]

adamkaris I mean the spell does have use for blade singer wizards..other then that yeah..it is pretty niche.

[@aaronwilliams8887]

@@adamkaris I love that interaction. Classic. The only possible workaround is putting the armour on for nine minutes and then casting the spell before it is "fully equipped" then you finish equipping it. But that is only if the DM has mercy and rules in your favour. Otherwise, I guess you need to multiclass for sorcerer extended spell.

[@MystFox1314]

Mordenkainen I think

[@rossthemoss6827]

GameNinjaD I know plate is 15 Str but I don’t know about chainmail or Scale mail

[@chilly456]

true strike is exclusively for when you're almost close enough to hit an enemy but cant actually hit him until next turn

[@SamuelWarren-os4ql]

Yeah but if your a spellcaster you likely have a ranged spell or cantrip

[@SamuelWarren-os4ql]

Yeah but if your a spellcaster you likely have a ranged spell or cantrip

[@seeker296]

Rogues...

[@Akakiryuushin]

​@seeker296 how can a rogue learn true strike?

[@doctor_dre]

​@@Akakiryuushin arcane trickster or magic initiate

[@fearofowl5973]

2:20 Jacob when the DM allows Mystics

[@devilsummoner2163]

3:42

[@leffan3107]

"You can use knock in a moment of stealth with the spell silence" Me: Oh cool! *sees that silence needs verbal casting is needed for knock* Me: COOL!... AWESOME!...

[@hugofontes5708]

you just need enough room not to silence yourself along with the target

[@atomicash2475]

Knock is also good for when you get loot lock in a container that has arcane lock casted on it

[@shadowbear123]

If you take 3 levels in sorcerer you can use metamagic for a subtle spell and not need to speak to cast it Not that I'd recommend taking sorcerer just to use silence and knock together, but you could find other uses for metamagic along with that But also, side note, if you normally wouldn't have access to knock - like if you were a cleric - you'd also be at the level to choose knock as well when you get metamagics

[@MonkeyJedi99]

I still think it is better to never copy the spell into your book, and use that money to hire a rogue.

[@sarahtorgerson9658]

Last time we used it, the bard covered the noise with a loud, minute long fart noise. It still 100% drew attention but he convinced them the rogue had a medical condition(we were breaking into a hospital) and they believed it.

[@mennograafmans1595]

I think skywrite is really underestimated, especially for a druid who can change it each day. Masscommunication changed the world as we know it over the last 100 years. In a large town, you basically can manipulate the entire population.

[@patrickbuckley7259]

People, don't listen to the magic words in the Sky, they are filled with lies! The Duke is not in fact a big stinky head!

[@ericfelipe4198]

Yeah, its the kind of thing that you say: "well It could be used like that!" But will never be actually used.

[@hmcloud8487]

Animal messenger Trumps it tho XD Not to mention sending

[@HyenaFox]

True in theory, but it's subject to the environment (it says explicitly that the words appear to be made out of clouds, and that wind can blow them away). Just based on hearing the spell, it sounds like it's a really cool way of writing a message, almost like a hugely visible flare that most people can see, but in reality it's probably more like having a plane write something in the air with a smoke trail or having a big banner printed on a blimp. Cool party trick, but takes too long and is basically useless when clouds, rain, wind, lights, or buildings block it. Plus, there are already far easier and far better ways of mass communication in D&D. Message is a cantrip that allows effectively an SMS voice memo to be sent to literally anyone within like 150 feet, (and they can reply), and I think few people realize how powerful Sending actually is. Sending lets you send a message of up to 25 words to any creature or person you are "familiar with" (your DM can define this differently, my interpretation is anything you've entered combat with, had any interaction with, or heard about from someone else). Sending can work across any distance and can cross planes, (the only exception is if you use it to send a message across planes, it has a 5% chance of not working, but you can always try it again). The thing that makes Sending so powerful though (as Jester demonstrated in the most recent Episode 100 of Critical Role) is that it says that any creature with an intelligence score of 1 or higher (so like anything that isn't an amoeba or a jellyfish, effectively) can innately understand the general idea of your message, even if they don't know the language you sent it in. Sending enables a response, and this also works in reverse, with you being able to understand the general idea even if they sent it in a language you don't know. It's effectively SMS messaging with the added feature of that thing where like certain messaging apps (like instagram) give you the option to auto translate it or how you can use google assistant/siri in messages if someone sends you something in a different language and it will grab it and say like "Oh, would you like me to translate that for you?"

[@Nr4747]

Skywrite also is a ritual, so I would definitely try to get it into my spellbook/ritual book on any ritual caster, just in case.

[@koolekatze8911]

Something about how Jacob shouts out "Goddammit" after the whole sleight of hand check had me in stitches and I don't know why

[@HaloFTW2408]

2:38. Whoa whoa whoa, I will not take this slander. See Invisibility is a great 2nd level spell. 1. It lasts an hour and isn't concentration. 2. It doesn't have a range. You can see an invisible creature as long as you have line of sight to them. 3. It also allows you to see into the ethereal plane. It is definitely situational, but it's a must have for my arcane casters.

[@dannyreyes3380]

Has the target already left your line of sight?

[@rainyeevee4047]

I agree, its super usefull spell in nearly any conditions. Not for DM but for players. Does GM sends at you invisible monsters? See invisibility. Does the big bad gut just cast Greater Invisibility and is beating the party up? See invisibility and tell them where he is so they can attack. Dungeon have Clairvoyance set in various places? See invisibility to avoid them. As long non-concentration spell its one of the best.

[@shinobidaniel_12]

@@rainyeevee4047 see invisibility doesn't work on greater invisibility

[@LtLukoziuz]

@@shinobidaniel_12 Why not? See Invisibility doesn't say anything about spell level it can affect or anything like that, it just lets you see invisible things.

[@rainyeevee4047]

@@shinobidaniel_12 Of course it works.

[@undermanned983]

I usually just give the party the item cards after they identify it.

[@uberspider1362]

I had a player purposefully take the loot and NOT identify three weapons, and go and try to attune to all of them, ending up getting cursed

[@tomm35]

The thing is that the rules allow anyone to learn the magical properties of an item without any special spells or whatever. Even a -3 Int barbarian can do it - all it takes is a short rest. You don't even need to attune to the item.

[@somthinorother320]

Yeah, the 4 INT Barbarian figures out how to use the object, but doesn't know the finer points of its enchantment. Namely, he doesn't know about whether or not it requires attunement, has charges, or how many charges it has left. Also, its a hell of a lot quicker even if you cast it as a ritual. There's also the less used facets of the spell where it tells the user if any spells are affecting an object or creature.

[@wolfybat3335]

My Wizard had identify, but took 4 sessions to track down a pearl of high enough value for the component... Party often hoarded loot, until the Bard got a longsword permanently stuck to his hand and they started to ask for identification first

[@AngelPhoenix919]

"Hundreds!?!? Hundreds of guards!!?!?" LMAO! I died then.

[@liamwelsh4665]

I love Spencer’s dedication to rogue.

[@laffinggas8068]

G-fuel: Hey Ja' Jacob, Pulling a dusty wizard costume from his closet: *Now this looks like a job for me*

[@gibusgodblaziken4379]

that wizard costume hasnt had the chance to get dusty

[@gotenksta]

So everybody just cast with me Cause we need a little necromancy

[@HalfTangible]

Knock isn't very useful for sneaking, but if the enemy already knows you're there and is coming for you, it can be useful for quick escapes.

[@oz_jones]

Not to be confused with the Bardic Knock

[@dharmictribulations]

Also you can use it to bust down big doors like a badass. Trying to storm a prison to free your incredibly justly imprisoned murderhobo comrades? Knock then kick the door in! Knock all their cell doors instead of finding the keys and fight your way out!

[@CrowbornChaos]

You use knock to unlock the door to help quickly escape those that are chasing. But now everyone in the next several rooms ahead of you now know your position and escape is now unlikely as the number of enemies seeking you just quintupled. Knock does not help, ever.

[@HalfTangible]

@@CrowbornChaos You're forgetting that if you're using Knock, you're using it on a locked door. Which means that the enemy is going to catch you if you don't use it. I'll take diminished chance over no chance, thanks.

[@dracocrusher]

Also would be useful for intentionally getting attention. If your Rogue is sneaking in from the back and you cast Knock on the front, then everyone would go to the front door and swarm that area, right? Seems like a good distraction to me. And because it's Knock, it's not even weird that you'd use it because they'd just assume the only thing going on is that you didn't think they were home and tried to break in.

[@Doomsdaymanx]

The identify part killed me a little bit inside. I feel so sorry for any wizard whose DM actually undermines their utility like that. If there's a wizard in my party a 100gp pearl quickly becomes their most sacred posession.

[@Mournfall_]

True Strike *does* affect spell attack rolls, so in theory could be combined with a high-level spell to ensure a hit and avoid using extra spell slots for it if you missed

[@tarblade1448]

The problem with this is that those spells are extremely limited. There are quite a few second and first level spells that it would work on, including the amazing spiritual weapon combo, but then there isn't another spell that isn't concentration that would work with it till the 7th level. Crown of starts, said 7th level spell is really funny with it since it only requires a bonus action after the initial casting. So you can just use true strike then send a star at someone every turn.

[@Reapor234]

​@@tarblade1448 Something to note, however, is that TS specifies "On your next turn" meaning it would need to be: - Cast Crown of Stars. Get 4 motes. - Next turn cast True Strike. - Use BA for mote, with Advantage. Cast True Strike again. - Repeat until out of motes. It's also worth mentioning that True Strike is concentration for some reason, so some spells can't combo with it (Flame Blade, Shadow Blade, some of the Smite Spells, etc.).

[@that-dude-jeffe3305]

"Please stop casting fireball" Wizard "I cast fireball"

[@sev1120]

"please stop casting fireball" Wizard: "Okay. I cast Lightning Bolt"

[@affluenzashot]

"I cast fireball!" NPC: "Sir, this is a Wendy's"

[@egg4444]

its the dumb jokes like this one that make me laugh

[@nerdbr0-758]

I feel like this is just a disguised rant

[@liamduffy733]

That’s what all of Jacobs videos are at this point haha. Except for the ones that aren’t disguised and are just straight up rants

[@belladameli6905]

Totally

[@SigurdBraathen]

You succeded the skill check of DC 5. =-]

[@TheKhaos1369]

I laughed way too hard at the crotchety wizard yelling "God damnit!"

[@matthewbibby8921]

“See I’ve done what I wanted to do, I made you a better wizard-“ COUNTERPOINT, the Wizard was finding uses for his spells the whole time, and you as the DM went out of your way to sabotage each attempt!

[@Marhathor]

"And it has to be with a weapon." Actually, no, it doesn't. In fact, you can use it to gain advantage on... (Not Power Words, not Meteor Swarm... Not Finger of Death, appearantly... Hm? Not Disintegrate... Immolation...) AH, FOUND IT!!! You can use it to cast Steel Wind Strike... WOW, there's not enough attack roll spells.

[@lute1069]

This is true, but its only the first attack roll of SWS :)

[@arjenlaan4103]

There's ranged touch spells too, of course. And for those, provided that there is time to prepare, truestrike can actually be moderately useful. Still very situational, of course, but that is why don't memorize it, but have it on scroll, somewhere ;-)

[@Marhathor]

Didn't even bother reading SWS's description after having to scroll from 9th all the way down to 5th level spells, trying to find one that requires an attack roll.

[@nuffin7411]

@@Marhathor Crown of Stars' motes of light require an attack roll. And having advantage on a projectile that deals 4d12 radiant damage can be very useful indeed. On lower levels also Chromatic Orb, Ice Knife, Ray of Sickness, Melf's Acid Arrow.

[@Marhathor]

9th level Witch Bolt, could've just said that.

[@pikamario99]

the little "oh no" when his mighty book attack was deflected...

[@lordsmorgasbord2646]

"I didn't ask how big the room was, I said cast fireball"

[@fatercoelho7476]

I actually use identify, it's a ritual spell, and as the artificer of the party with a +7 arcana everyone comes to me when they find something interesting :D the DM doesn't really tell much about the items we find either

[@alexanderpalmer2647]

Indeed...arcana in my mind is a general understanding of magic items/spells and how they work...not a 1 for 1 understanding of its effects.

[@harmonicarchipelgo9351]

It's also good in dungeons with weird magical traps and puzzles. 'magic-imbued object' and 'learn its properties and how to use them' are broad enough terms that you can Identify exactly how to solve the puzzle in some cases. You could even do something like touch a cultist's dagger and learn how it is used in a secret ritual.

[@Erick7Greenday]

"Here's a staff of barding, only bards can use it" "*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*"

[@zubetube7111]

I was reading true strike, by the look of it it says “any attack roll”, so I think that if you used it before casting a levelled spell, you’d use 2 actions but be less likely to waste your spell slot.

[@znuffyztruggles5744]

The only problem is that there are very few spells in the first place that use attack rolls, and if it needs concentration to work it's incompatible with true strike because it also uses concentration.

[@sethb3090]

Yeah, I actually looked it up. From spell levels 2-9, there are six melee attack spells (two that aren't concentration) and six ranged attack spells (three that aren't concentration) in the game, out of almost FIVE HUNDRED, and they're split across the different classes. So there are a grand total of five spells above first level IN THE GAME that work with True Strike. Wizards get four of them, clerics get one, sorcerers get two, and druids and bards don't get any.

[@znuffyztruggles5744]

@@sethb3090 yeah, so many people credit the lackluster amounts of attack roll spells, but the fact that true strike using fucking concentration, makes it a ridiculous spell that is only semi-useful in very specific situations. If I may, could you list the five spells that actually work with true strike my good man?

[@sethb3090]

@@znuffyztruggles5744 so there's Spiritual Weapon, Contagion (probably the best melee use for True Strike, though it doesn't deal damage), and Steel Wind Strike (hits up to 5 targets so not that great) for melee. For ranged, there's Acid Arrow, Scorching Ray (again, multi target), and Crown of Stars (the most efficient damage-for-spell-slot option, since you can bonus action fire a star with advantage then action True Strike for next turn). That combo is slow, but if you're hurting for slots (and you might be, because you took True Strike instead of, say, Ray of Frost) you get seven turns of ranged attack with advantage this way. Both Contagion and Crown of Stars work best here because they have a single fairly impactful thing they can do with one spell slot. I don't think anything else is worthwhile. Even then, it's severely gimped by having only 30 foot range, which means sniper strategies (you know, the only time you can profitably attack slowly and not worry about concentration) are out of the question.

[@lordyoofy5529]

As a sorcerer main who likes to melee with a staff and also spam quickened spells, I can actually use true strike (very rarely).

[@kvalvag5934]

"role for stealth* " oo not good" "What did you get?" "thats a 86 +64 to stealth"

[@angrynoodletwentyfive6463]

Alot of those spells made more sense in 3.5. In 5e they changed almost everything that used to give say a +2 bonus to "advantage" which rendered alot of spells and such pretty useless. Advantage can be better in Some situations but it does not increase your highest possible roll. Which makes it less useful in cases where their is a high likelihood of failure if you can only score if you roll a Nat 20 for example, a +2 bonus makes you 3 times as likely to hit whereas advantage only Makes you twice as likely to hit. So in 3.5e true strike adds a +20 bonus to your next attack at low levels that is a guaranteed hit unless you roll a 1.

[@spikem5950]

Similarly, armor-buffing effects were changed from adding AC to simply changing your minimum, with the only exceptions being Shield of Faith and Haste. While it makes sense on paper what it ends up resulting in is a considerable nerf to these effects except in specific circumstances. Natural armor used to be good for *anybody.* You could get +5 (which was too much admittedly) to your AC even if you were wearing heavy armor. Now it only ups your minimum to 13+Dex, meaning it's only good for someone who doesn't wear armor and isn't a monk or barbarian. The spell Mage Armor used to grant you +4 to your AC and had no limit on not wearing armor to get it. Meaning if you were a battlemage with light or medium armor you could still plop this on. In 5e it's only 13+Dex, which makes it useless if you have natural armor first off, 1 point weaker, and also useless if you want to wear any armor at all. Barkskin got the worst deal of them all. In 3.5e you were able to cast it on anyone to give them a +1 bonus to their AC for every caster level you possess. This means you can cast it on yourself, the paladin, the wizard, the rogue, and you'd all benefit from it, and the bonus increases as you level to keep it relevant and useful. It was a support spell through and through. Now it's not only a concentration spell, but it only makes your minimum 16. Not 16 plus other bonuses like Dex, shield, Shield of Faith or Haste, just 16, end of story. This means it's now no longer useful to cast on your party members besides the wizard/sorcerer, no longer useful to even cast on yourself in my experience. Leather +3 from Dex +2 for a Shield, you can have 16 AC at level 1 if you want a battle druid, or at level 4 with your first ASI which is only one level after you get the spell. So when is this spell useful? When you wildshape into something with less than 16 AC. That's it. That's all it'll ever be useful for. Until you get Stoneskin and never cast Barkskin again because the two compete for concentration. Barkskin's is more egregious to me because not only did they ruin its entire purpose, they gave its exact effect (minus the caster level increases) to a level one cleric spell -- while keeping Barkskin at level 2.

[@jefthereaper]

"knock can be useful when used combined with silence" yeah waste two spell slots vs lockpicking for the rogue.

[@JannikSohn]

Or just use enlarge/reduce on the Door or the lock🤣

[@coletrainhetrick]

This is under the assumption this is for stealth only. If you had someone use arcane lock or it has an extremely hard check in general knock guarantees success

[@michaelminugh5357]

Ritual cast Silence tho'

[@DoctorLazers]

Knock is useful if you don't care about stealty and just need to get the fuck through a door right now.

[@jefthereaper]

@@DoctorLazers Thats rarely going to happen. The DM is not going to lock a door unless its guarded, or a home with people living in it.

[@jefthereaper]

Dm: This is a ring of true strike, it allows you to use true strike as a bonus action. You need to let it "recharge" for 24 hours after use.

[@Zalied]

thats still a pretty good ring. basically a once per long rest bonus action to gain advantage.

[@BFedie518]

@@Zalied Find Familiar. 1st level spell that's a ritual. Get an Owl. It uses the help action and Flyby to avoid opportunity attacks. Now you get advantage once a turn until someone kills it. If it dies, you take ten minutes to resummon it after the battle.

[@Zalied]

not saying theirs not a better option just that the ring itself isnt terrible. gives you teh ability to have the familiar somewhere else for a moment or if its dead. outside of min maxing its fine to have a less than optimal build we arnt trying to prove every possible way to give advantage thats better than truestrike just a way that true strike isnt useless to cast 99% of the time. IMO the biggest problem with it is exactly as he stated it takes a turn to use it and attacking 2 turns in the row is loosely the same as attacking with advantage. and while yes you could use it when you cant attack for a turn anyways but in almost every encounter your rarely as a ranged class unable to attack in a way that using true strike is better than anything else you have.

[@Lastofthesigilites]

I give it to the rogue.

[@erichall090909]

@@BFedie518 so once as pretty much anything can kill it in one hit

[@km1dash6]

The guy at the beginning could have played an arcane cleric.

[@jwall1646]

My favorite cleric

[@patrickduffin7912]

I'm more of a fan of Dickery domain. It's just so fun to play.

[@gnev1215]

Well of course Kyle would say "that guy" instead of wizard, great job following the Kyle meme

[@mattevans4377]

Why stop there, why not just have a full party of clerics?

[@Blayze]

Or a Light Cleric.

[@stormthrush37]

Jacob and Colton work so well together, like PB&J or Peanut Butter and Chocolate 😂

[@nicholasjones8643]

I would never plan a campaign where the GM decides all of my spells

[@thibautisserant]

I could never DM AND decide the spells of the players. My cleric player has 60+ spells at level 7, I'm not touching that. (He makes it a nightmare to balance btw, but it's fair game.)

[@muizzy]

Relatively common to have premade characters for oneshots though :)

[@galev3955]

I think that was just part of the setup for the jokes

[@thegugster]

i enjoy the idea of playing a sorcerer and getting my spells from my dm. i inherently have this power why should i be able to control what i get? same applies for warlocks. just sounds like fun to me :) (also get to use some of those spells that dont get enough love)

[@CalculusPhysics]

@@thibautisserant may i ask how? a level 7 cleric should only be able to prepare 12 spells max. or do you just mean they have the option of choosing from 60+ spells, because that'd make more sense since they can't prepare all of them but can prepare any 12 of those every day

[@infamous635]

"What if they're cursed?" "Well, Identify doesn't tell you if an item is cursed anyway, so it doesn't matter."

[@deathwrow9652]

Actually....It does. It tells you all magical properties of an item. If an item is cursed, you also learn its curse, unless the item specifies that an identify spell refers to it as X or if it has a nystal magic aura on it to fake it.

[@infamous635]

@@deathwrow9652 DMG Page 138-139 "Some magic items bear curses that bedevil their users, sometimes long after a user has stopped using an item. A magic item's description specifies whether the item is cursed. Most methods of identifying items, including the identify spell, fail to reveal such a curse, although lore might hint at it. A curse should be a surprise to the item's user when the curse's effects are revealed."

[@rolfbuchner3991]

There's another use for identify, that people always seem to forget: "If you instead touch a creature throughout the casting, you learn what spells, if any, are currently affecting it." This can be extremely useful in some campaigns. Is this person under the effects of a charm spell? Is this person disguised? etc. Yes, you have to touch them for ten minutes, but if the person refuses to be identified then that in and of itself should tell you something. You can also use it on _yourself_ to see if someone has charmed you or if you are otherwise under the effects of any spells. All you have to do is... umm... touch yourself for ten minutes...

[@Shadow-zf3hv]

@@rolfbuchner3991 touch yourself for ten minutes? What is this sorcery?

[@McBlammy]

@@rolfbuchner3991 "All you have to do is... umm... touch yourself for ten minutes..." Damn I've been casting Identify for years and never realized it!

[@chimmichurri6940]

"Asmodeus has true sight so he sees thw text anyways." "GOOOD DAMMIT" 2 Years later EDIT: the true strike could work great on a rogue if played right. On a wizard, not so much unless they have the badassery of Gandalf

[@brinicle5727]

5:57 "AH, 500 REPEATS OF 'POOPY POOPY STINKY BUTT'!" I don't know if it's because I'm watching this at 1:04 AM, childish, or both, BUT THIS IS TOO FUNNY!

[@Desolatezilch]

To be fair for identify, that’s a problem with the dm giving away info that the characters shouldn’t be able to find

[@jakeand9020]

Yes, in my games magic items are simply not used until they are identified. It's not a rule it's just smart, making identify a must have for an adventuring party. I like having the cards for the items done up, that's a pretty cool idea, just hand them out after the items are identified, and what kind of DM specifically tells the players some randomly found magic items are not cursed?

[@Dream146]

it's a ritual anyway, they're pretty much all useful to have in your spellbook for when you need them.

[@Auesis]

By RAW, you can learn everything about a magic item over a short rest, so everyone can do it. Worse than that, Identify doesn't find curses either. Identify is still useless unless you need it literally right then at that very second for some reason.

[@haku8135]

@@Auesis taken directly from the description of armor of vulnerability "Curse. This armor is cursed, a fact that is revealed only when an identify spell is cast on the armor or you attune to it. Attuning to the armor curses you until you are targeted by the remove curse spell or similar magic; removing the armor fails to end the curse. While cursed, you have vulnerability to two of the three damage types associated with the armor (not the one to which it grants resistance)" Identify reveals curses, just might not work on CERTAIN curses.

[@BillytheCorgi]

@@Auesis Honestly, I say nuts to that. The only time I use that short rest rule is in Barovia, since there isn't really a nearby wizard that can identify. Otherwise, for most campaigns, if my PCs don't want to take identify, if they wanna figure out what it does they either gotta experiment with it, or they gotta find a wizard in a city or something they can pay to cast identify for them.

[@ThenameisMarsh]

"Knock can be useful in stealth when combined with Silence" I was curious and looked it up. At first I thought I had caught a mistake since Knock is a spell with verbal components, therefore making it impossible to cast Knock if Silence is in effect. However, when reading I noticed that Silence affects a 20 foot radius while Knock has a 60 foot range. Therefore they can be used in combination. Bravo.

[@AndrewTaylorNintyuk]

@densch123 Knock makes a noise from the lock being opened not the caster, so if you throw a bubble of silence over the lock and stand outside the silence bubble you can speak the Knock spell and the lock will open inside the silence

[@Malission]

Yeah, you need a two spells combination to unlock something... Glorious... Apparently you have too many spell slots since this seems useful to you. Spell slots are limited, so they have to be impactful. If they're just as good as non magical options, why in hell is it limited?!?

[@randomguy3708]

Couldn't you also cast knock (any by extension anything spell with verbal) if you used subtle spell as a sorcerer?

[@johns9652]

@@randomguy3708 Sure, you subtly and silently cast your spell that makes a loud noise. Shatter is same way, the spell creates a loud noise, not you.

[@deathwrow9652]

@@Malission Because Knock has no check. It simply unlocks. Magical traps are also disarmed technically, as they would prevent the opening of the "container" Also it gets crazy when RAI compared to RAW. Because technically, a tunnel being blocked by boulders can have knock casted on it and the boulders will fall away, technically. Also you can ritual cast silence, granted its 10 minutes, but also, wizards aren't suppose to be quick stealthy and theivery. So it kinda makes sense.

[@DangStank]

But misty step surrounds you with silver mist for a moment. So you’d know if that is what they cast.

[@joelletham6416]

I honestly love this character he's portraying. Makes me want to play as a scheming character who's every move is foiled in a wacky over the top fashion.

[@Blizzic]

Knock is loud specifically so that it doesn’t overshadow the rogue’s role in the party

[@epicawsomeguy208]

It's probably better meant to serve as a battery ram if anything.

[@hinamiravenroot7162]

Or you can use the noise as a distraction

[@Aplesedjr]

How many wizards are trying to overshadow the rogue though? And how many rogues are focused so heavily on lock picking that they are overshadowed completely by someone who can unlock any door instantly?

[@meris8486]

Rogue's are already overshadowed, I avoid taking Knock when they're in the party cause I don't wanna make them feel bad

[@GogiRegion]

I did the math on how loud a sound would have to be in order to be heard that distance (I assumed 20 dB at 300 feet, which is whisper volume, though making it decently louder like 30 dB doesn’t affect the volume at 300 feet by a lot), and it’s not as loud as it sounds. It’s only a little louder than the volume of a typical vacuum cleaner. So loud, but not ridiculous. People see 300 feet and assume it’s super loud, but that’s actually not that far to hear something.

[@Greywander87]

Actually, True Strike has an interesting interaction with the Eldritch Knight. EKs can cast a spell and then make one attack as a bonus action, so you can cast True Strike and then make one bonus action attack without advantage because True Strike doesn't take effect until your next turn, instead of just attacking four times and still having a bonus action left. Edit: For those that missed it, this comment is sarcasm. True Strike is just bad.

[@TheBayzent]

Technically correct. And being a cantrip you will never run off of it.

[@Jermbot15]

I'm not sure I understand the level of his Eldritch Knight. In this scenario could the Eldritch Knight have only attacked 4 times over the space of two turns, but by casting True Strike he instead attacked 3 times, once with advantage? OR are you saying the Eldritch Knight could have attacked 8 times over the space of two turns but by casting True Strike he instead attacked 5times, once with advantage? In either case it's still a waste as it's not worth it for an Eldritch Knight to waste an attack to get advantage.

[@andrewburleson4179]

It also has a very niche use where if you are out of movement range from your target and no ranged attacks at your disposal you'll still have advantage on that first attack. Still pretty useless since you should always have some ranged attack anyways.

[@XanKreigor]

Ray spells count as "weapons" for some bizzare reason so true strike works with them.

[@NachtroseSVK]

@@XanKreigor i still fail to see, where True strike states it has to be a weapon attack o.O

[@nickg5888]

Rogue: I roll for Stealth. 30. Wizard: I cast see invisibility to see the Rogue... me: fitting use of the spell.

[@jarekmarcinek1261]

The DM: Sorry, See Invisibility does not work here. The rogue is not invisible, he's hidden, so see invisibility doesn't affect his ability to hide from you.

[@nickg5888]

Me: *I turn to the Dm* Can you "See" the Rogue. *Dm looks at an empty chair*

[@jonathanowen9917]

DM: I made you a better wizard. You don’t have to rely on… Wizard: I cast fireball on you (cackling maniacally). ☄️🧙🏻‍♂️🤣😂