Vacation/Beach Haul from Killstar! | Toxic Tears

Hey guys! Today we have a fun vacation themed haul from Killstar! Use the code xtoxictears for 10% off until March 31st 2019!
www.killstar.com
I'm disappointed in myself that I let my insecurities beat me on this, but this video was still a LOT out of my comfort zone and really pushed my limits when it came to my own body confidence, it was hard to upload! I hope I can improve how I feel more this year and get better at stuff like this!
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All hauls and unboxings are generally sent to me by the company in exchange for review, unless stated otherwise. This exchange does not effect my views or opinions, I'll always tell you what I really think! Hauls and unboxings are not paid for unless explicitly stated, paid videos will be marked with "AD".
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[@zombabe0_o]

She was going on and on about how bad that swimsuit looked on her..... and then the picture looked dropdead gorgeous! 🖤

[@DepthWitch]

OMFG RIGHT?!

[@Kiri_-so3ei]

She looks gorgeous I don't know why she's so insecure. So beautiful 😍😍

[@ayabrodie]

Exactly

[@PeanutButterZombie00]

She really did. I hope one day she'll be able to see herself the way we do! I know how hard that can be, even when so many other people tell you how great you look.

[@aelwynwitch9460]

Her body is absolutely perfect. Because its her body, but OML, it's great for ANYONE'S body. And her skin and the black fishnet? Stunning! I think that swimsuit looked better than the one with more coverage.

[@ravenstone1781]

"The week of womb wrath" XD I'm gonna refer to my period as that from now on.

[@elizabethpink]

For some reason, when she called it wombwrath I immediately thought of Alice In Wonderland. lol

[@emilymcdonald1456]

I loved the crap out of that one too!!!

[@jordanshrinks]

Firstly, I LOVE the green eyeshadow. It looks so beautiful with your complexion. Secondly, I know how you feel about the body confidence stuff, but try to remember we are all our own worst critics because GIRL, that bathing suit looks amazing on you. Makes me wish I got it too. I am always afraid of one-pieces because I have a long torso so I got the two-piece one. But you ROCKKKK that suit, girl. 🔥

[@ToxicTears]

I actually love the two piece version too but I was like AHHH TOO MUCH TUMMY haha! Thank you so much, I adore you 🖤

[@kimkong1413]

🖤

[@Chimpyloveherself]

No need to apologize. I like what you did with the swimsuit. Post whatever you feel comfortable in and love.

[@azriphale9967]

Oh sweet heart! My heart breaks for you hearing you apologize. You look lovely in those suits. I'm glad you were able to find a solution so you were more comfy, but you shouldn't fret. You're gorgeous. You always have been. Since before your health issue and weight gain, and now.

[@abilou21]

I don't know what I loved more "womb wrath" or "let a girl be chonky in peace" 😂🖤

[@sasylein]

No need to apologize, you don't owe us anything! Some people film hauls entirely without the try on part and that's fine too. I think it looks good on you 🖤 Edit: when you said spooky household item, i thought of a spider spaghetti picking-up thing😂

[@FoxVox]

I have the skeleton hands too, love serving up spooky dinners!

[@sasylein]

@TheNecrohazard I didnt know that existed. That's amazing, I need 10😂

[@SkyBorba]

wants things to be spooky that don't need to be? me for sure, literally i have a cutting board that look like dripping blood

[@ravenstone1781]

Kaya I am so proud of you for how far you have come, because you have come a long way even if it's not as far as you thought. You've made progress and that's a wonderful thing. Be proud of yourself, because you are AWESOME!

[@Chimama2010]

You're absolutely GORGEOUS! I love the suits!! 😘

[@MikoSubaru]

"let a girl be chonky in piece" X'D never have i related to a sentence more in my life lol. love you Kaya!

[@fruitandveggies24]

I love that you’re a little Irish ghost! Thanks for showing us this stuff, I like to see clothes live on a moving body whenever possible. 🖤🦇

[@gothempress]

Also, Kaya I'm super proud of you for working on your body issues. I know no matter how many times someone else says you look great, it won't mean a thing if you don't believe it yourself. I am glad you're becoming more comfortable in your skin and look forward to seeing you grow more and more in this area! Love you!!!!!

[@margaretnicholls896]

You look wonderful...👍 the bathers look wonderful on you.🤗

[@TheDarkfireMoon]

Ok thank you internet for eating my comment. Argh! So if this shows up twice sorry. But I had to pop in and say I understand body confidence is a super personal thing and I get what we see may not be what you see and feel but GIRL! GURRRL!!! You look smashing in those swimsuits. Even the still shots are bangtastic and I love the way they look on you. You are amazing and look amazing! Thank you for showing the size of the towels in real time, as well. It's hard to judge on the site and I wasn't sure if they would be large enough for my ideas since I own NOTHING from Killstar. So thanks for that. I think they might work for what I had in mind. ALSO, I too am a sucker like AF to the max for gothy/spooky/witchy house crap. I just spent 2 hrs this morning trying to find a spooky house plant watering can. Yup 2 freaking hours lol. I settled on a black cat watering can....@squeee. I also bought two vintage styled plant misters but I could not find one in my preferred spooky style so I hand painted them this weekend with alcohol inks and am about to varnish the artwork again @squee. Now if I could get the man toy to make me a coffin bookcase, soapbox mold and hang these tapestries I'd be happy for the moment...heheh it's not like we didn't buy him a huge wood shop or anything to make me all sorts of spooktastic house crap hehe. Anyhow, I hope you had a glorious holiday and I am so glad you posted this despite the BS going on. I really think the only way to smash the hate train is just derail it with love and then ignore the rest. You said your peace/piece on it and are moving on and that is the best thing imo. And now that I am done writing you a novel I am going to go play with my oh-so-unspooky houseplants teeehee. Have a great spooky night and post again soon!

[@Midnightpigeon666]

A super cute lace cover up is all ways appreciated! You look incredible 🖤 this big hat is everything! You will be the best dressed at all the summer pool parties! Xxx

[@WinnieNienna]

I've been watching your videos for about a year now and it's been a joy to see you grow

[@melissagaylor4692]

With all that is going on here in my life, the slow down at work, recent snow storms, and the massive flood (half of the state is frozen, the other half is under water), your videos make me very happy. You take my mind off my troubles, if even just for a little while. Thank you!!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[@VampLaloo]

Oh the hat, total Lydia Deetz vibes! Love it! I have these sunglasses too, so cute :) the swimsuits try on are great, so good to see what garments look like! Xxx

[@indiatoth1891]

I am very proud of you for how far you've come with your body confidence. You may not be as far along as you had thought/hoped but you have still made a lot of positive progress and that's amazing. I am very proud and happy for you. I've also been working on my body confidence and have improved a lot myself. It can be hard and it takes time but, keep up the good work and remember that we love you. Also all of the swimwear and stuff looks super cute and you look great in the swimsuits.

[@nocturtle13]

Kaya I’m so happy to know that you’ve grown confidence, and although you’re not where you want to be yet you’re not where u were before. I’m going through the same struggle rn too and honestly you looked like my body goal that I have right now

[@AmberSatchwell]

You look incredible! Well done for being so brave, love yourself because we love you 🖤

[@thetruej7872]

Love the swimsuit. Especially the hat. Very retro looking. I like it 😇

[@Laura_Crawfield_Valo]

You look amazing in those suits ♡ please never stop doing killstar hauls! Those are my favourite videos to watch!

[@alyssasquirrel4769]

I love that you are still working on having higher body confidence! It's a process, and that's okay. Looking gorgeous. We love you Kaya!

[@roo288]

Omg your puffy pigtail ends!!!!! So cute! That swimsuit is cute too 💗

[@jennakwiatkowski6730]

You look stunning! Body issues is something that I can highly relate to and I'm proud of you for taking those steps. Personally I think it looks amazing on you.

[@shadowofmemory]

you look amazing in the mock-ini. don’t worry about disappointing us hun your mental health is more important than showing yourself off to us. love you

[@deborahlilly7520]

I love these videos! You look great! Don’t apologize about the swimsuit! You deserve to be comfortable with what you’re sharing.

[@goddesofwolves]

The swimsuits were very lovey! I didn’t know I needed new towels till I saw yours. You’re the best!

[@HalBoeck]

you are absolutely gorgeous. do not apologize. you do not ever have to share anything if you don't feel comfortable. I am proud of you for putting in the pictures at all. I hope your vaca is wonderful!

[@tanyaboudreau9711]

Gurl, I wanted to let you know you killed the game in that mesh swimsuit, you looked like a queen. The sun hat is so good, I want it.

[@storykeeper3464]

I love seeing your hauls (especially your KillStar ones) cuz it gives me an idea of how items look irl. I also just love your videos in general. I hope you and Jake had a wonderful vacation even with the shitty weather!

[@jayanderson7072]

The swimsuits look amazing on you and I'm so proud of you for still wearing them :) 🖤🖤🖤

[@Annj97]

Your body looks fine and I feel everyone has something about themselves that they are bit self conscious or uncomfortable with, ALSO...There is nothing wrong with a little bit of modesty! I hope you had a great vaca :)

[@truewickedkittenASMR]

Honey, as a 250 pound girl wearing goth clothes. 1. I appreciate your honesty and your progress with your body confidence. 2. You look drop dead gorgeous. 🧙🏼‍♀️🖤

[@uglydoll6361]

Plus size darkling here as well I dress very normie atm as I dont eant to call too much attention to myself may I follow you on IG for style inso?

[@ForestOokami]

Holy dang, those bathing suits were beautiful! And paired with the hat? You looked absolutely stunning! Also, your journey with body confidence is all your own, apologies never needed! Every step, no matter how small it may seem, is important.

[@dvalkerie3411]

YOU LOOKED STUNNING in the fishnet both ways you wore it! I liked the idea of the extra bottoms... Keep up the good work, I know you have been working hard on this!!! Its a win that you work it in public ...

[@mollyridley1531]

You looked stunning!! And you have come so far with your confidence so don't apologise, do what feels comfortable for you, it's your channel after all

[@ChapterProse]

I understand about body confidence issues, so I just want to thank and congratulate you on wearing and showing us the mesh costume. I think you look great in it and wish you well on your body confidence journey.

[@kassandradavis3314]

I love the beach-cut-away- that is usually how my beach visits go!

[@jemdemonbelle2097]

Can I just say that when I saw your pics on Twitter of the mesh suit, i thought that was the suit. The extra bottoms make it look so much nicer than the actual suit itself, which made me wanna buy it. Now seeing that it's not that way I'm not 100% sure. I'm super tiny but I don't feel that much confidence in showing off my body like that. So like, all the props to you for feeling confident enough to wear it. You look good Hun. Rock that mesh suit!

[@megalopolis2015]

You looked amazing in everything you tried. Loved the cat towel, too. "Womb wrath". LOL Glad you had some cool clips of your trip. I hope it got warmer. Geez.

[@BlackIDove]

I've never gone anywhere, too poor. So I'm glad I get to live vicariously through you & others lucky enough to be able to travel. Safe travels! ❤❤❤

[@dawnmorton9017]

Oh my god, that fishnet swimsuit is INCREDIBLE and you look INCREDIBLE in it! You’re really looking shapely but slim there.

[@beautifulmadness3054]

Okay so that swimsuit... you look amazing like I can't even lie your body looks so good and youve come so far. So proud of you and how good you look in a non creepy way from me I hope

[@darkmoonchii4]

[@frostfang1]

Omg you look amazing, and I didnt even expect you to show it once you said you weren't happy with how it looked on camera. I cant believe how far you have come with feeling comfortable and happy with your body! You dont have to push that growth for the camera/for us. Only push it as far as you want to go for yourself. Man as edgey as I like clothes, even at my ideal body weight a swimsuit like the monokini would be a lot for me, on it's own. If I did buy it, it would be primarily for layering.

[@BeansOfStarlight]

body confidence comes in waves (get it eeeeeee) I'm just really happy you're putting this out there, as someone who's also super self conscious about her chonk.

[@natalieparker9710]

I really appreciate your honesty in regards to your body image progress. It's not easy.

[@zuo009]

Super cute!!! I feel ya on the body confident thing. My body isn’t bad but it’s not where I want it. You aren’t alone!

[@vampy5000]

Everything looks lovely on you and I like how you layered up the swimsuits too!

[@Chowderchef]

I went onto Killstar today to finally see a dress I've been eyeing is on clearance now I'm actually so hyped to finally buy something from them after just admiring for so long :')

[@sharonbaker3007]

You’re such a strong woman, Kaya! I hope you and Jake had a great time in Barcelona!💙💙💙

[@saraalice5244]

WOOOOW omg you look amazing! i absolutely love the mesh swim suit, i definitely understand being apprehensive about it though. i’m plus sized (much bigger than you) and i don’t think i would have had the confidence to wear it. props to you girl! you would have astounded me if i saw you on the beach!

[@ChellyBadger]

Post whatever you feel comfortable with! I will say though that you looked amazing! But truly, you don't owe us anything and as someone who has insecurities herself, I understand that compliments are great, but it isn't about how others see you, rather how you see yourself. Stay proud of your inner-growth with that, it takes time for insecurities to lessen more and more and every change forward, big or small, is impressive and wonderful! I know I'm still getting there myself lol! Also, great video as usual! 💜

[@cynthobeauty]

I bought the kimono shall, the hat, and the float all from your reviews I loveeeee when you do Killstar hauls they're my favorite and I love your content. Also you looked STUNNING in that bathing suit! 💖

[@ariamanitin]

were you able to use the xtoxictears discount code to buy those? It's not working for me

[@nicolejulke644]

The suits looked lovely! Also love the greenish eyeshadow!

[@madamehogan8553]

Our bodies are OURS, to share or not as we please.. absolutely no explanation ever needed. It is nice that you are so real about it, as all women have feelings like this! You look beautiful as always...

[@its-frickin-bats]

I am absolutely the same way when it comes to spooky versions of like every day stuff. It's why I have such a problem around Halloween when they have "Halloween homeware." I'm like "Uh I think you mean all year round homeware."

[@MacaldaReye]

I have that hat! Still trying to figure out how to wear it over my dreads

[@geekymoth2405]

Just one weekend long festival this summer, work work work the rest of it. Loved the haul!

[@txstargazerjilly6605]

I'm planning a beach vacation myself! In August my husband and I are spending a week in Corpus Christi, TX. The highlight of the trip? Corpus has a Harry Potter themed coffee shop that I will definitely be frequenting! Love to you, my favorite HuffleGoth!

[@BeverleyButterfly]

You have a great body and the mesh swimsuit looked stunning on you! I love those sunglasses too I used your code to order some for myself so thank you for that xx

[@misslizbarajas]

You look great!! I was looking to buy the same. Swim suit and was concerned how that mesh would look on me. You've convinced me to get it. Thanks

[@DepthWitch]

I'm excited to be going on a family vacation this coming summer. We'll be going to Mexico and I'm pumped because it'll be the first time I've ever left the States. I need to go shopping for some good beach goth stuff myself because all I have is one bathing suit and a pair of flip flops(sandals) that cut up my feet lol! On a related note to the video. Those suits looked so cute on you!!! And even if you're not as confident as you'd like to be it's so nice to see you in a place where you can go out and get new bathing suits. Love ya Kaya!

[@sierra8386]

tbh I personally would prefer the second suit with solid bottoms underneath, because that thing is way too revealing for something I'd be comfortable with on my body. It looks amazing on you!! And as for trips I'm not doing much this year but hopefully next year my friend and I are going to Europe for a few weeks!!

[@Shellinagogo]

Tell killstar they need the fishnet suit with the style of bottom you wore, it looked Soooo good. Also I can tell you have come so far and I am super proud of you as another tall chick with body image issues. You are hella cute and enjoy your baby steps 🦄💜

[@bunnyringeisen2579]

Over my spring break from university I got to go spend several days helping with a greenhouse and it was the best time.

[@vibing_with_tina]

No need to apologize, we completely understand. You do what you’re comfortable with. Having said that, you looked amazing in the suites! I know this isn’t saying much but I personally think you have a great body shape. You rocked everything

[@willphully]

I understand your anxiety, but you are a gorgeous girl, you don't do anything you're not comfortable with. But you are a bombshell and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of love, you guys have a great time.

[@anniicarus5703]

I ordered that hat too!!!!!! I've been looking for something like that, too, for the longest time. Also because of Coven. Your videos make me so happy

[@imaginationlord]

I'm so glad you're body confidence has improved! Please don't ever apologise for how your body looks, I think you look great, and also don't apologise for not being confident enough to show it, it's your choice to show things, and we don't need the try on portion! Also I completely relate to the need for everything to be aesthetic!

[@Sealprincess]

you have come such a long way in your body confidence and im so happy for you!

[@cyndirella23]

Sounds like a Spooky Storm! Well done on how far you've come, Huge steps, to be able to show off swimsuits. Hopefully we'll get some weather hot enough to make you feel like wearing them 😀 You look great in them, you're curvy in the right places. Awesome Beach Haul, the lace over top is gorgeous too (I'd need it 2ft longer tho lol). Sorry Spain was stormy and glad it had sooooo much more to offer than a beach when you visited Barcelona

[@lilhorrorbby]

The 2nd swimsuit still looked cute as heck with the additional bottoms underneath. So so cute.

[@KreeZafi]

God, I looove having everything spooky themed!! Why get a normal blue rectangle cutting board if there is a cool bone shaped cutting board??? Or a beautifully ornate black lacquer toilet roll holder??? Cooking/baking utensils with little bats on top of the handles??? YESSS

[@nekobat1962]

I hope you had a great time! They look good! I'm glad you're feeling better about your appearance. You're right you've come a long way! You'll be ready when you're ready.

[@kelseymeyer5087]

Your interjection in the middle of the video broke my heart. You’re literally so beautiful and you look amazing. I know that it’s more of a personal thing than caring about what other people think. But if this means anything you look absolutely amazing and you’re so beautiful and strong. Just keep all of that in mind ❤️

[@wyntresorrow403]

Love the sunglasses. When my sunglasses leave the mark and someone mentions it i say what mark and look away in a sassy , i know but i dont care kind of way. Or i ask what they reconmend to preventcit. Depending on my mood. Great video! Bathing suit looks great on you girl. Work it!

[@KuramasFoxyGirl]

My goodness girl! You rocked that monokini, you looked amazing in it! I understand your insecurities about your body, but as an onlooker, you looked like a vision of goth beauty. Though I always find you absolutely lovely.

[@mimicatbats]

I'm glad you still do hauls and try ons. It's helpful to see items in motion with a review. And it's okay to get excited about stuff for your home. Also, right on board with you about AHS Coven. There are some great parts of it but the plot was a little wacky on that one. Still good, just not as strong as others.

[@kimberlyWestfall1]

I planted my sunflower seeds today! I use the Russian Mammoth variety and they are huge. 🌻 Can't wait to plant more 🌼🌾🌿🌸🍅🍓🍉

[@missmaxibear]

Currently in Malaga! Have those sunglasses and I missed all these items as I left the day they released... so annoyed as I wanted the kaftan... hope you're having a great time!

[@leahashtyn3813]

Concerning the coffin float, you could probably patch the hole by melting the plastic a little bit, or by using some kind of thing, waterproof tape.

[@BatBones]

I need a new cozzy! I snapped the halter part on mine and that cosmic one is gorgeous! I also need that ouija towel!😍

[@christinel1213]

That bathing suit looks amazing on you ❤️ I so wish I looked like you. I love all the styles you wear, they always look so great.

[@sjgdfz]

Girl, i don't know if anyone told you in the comments, but your hair looks BOMB in this video 😍😍😍 super healthy and shiny 💖

[@melissaoshman2884]

I was expecting the bathing suit to be okay, but to see where you had a problem with it, but it’s not there, you look amazing!!! I hope you’re going to get to the point where you can see yourself the way you really are, absolutely gorgeous.

[@allisonplace1247]

I had to pause your video at 10 minutes just to say this to you. I know no matter how many times people tell you that you look fine in certain clothes, it’s hard for you to believe it. But you really do look amazing in that mesh monokini! I hope one day you get 100% of your confidence back because you were rocking it.

[@asheleventy7]

Welcome back babe! Love seeing new content, especially a haul

[@TheTasuneImputator]

I'm going to Atlanta in July to see my parents, they're currently planning the entire week as we speak, but there was talk of getting a boat, so I'm pretty excited either way.

[@ChokolateFace]

GIRL!!! Your body looks KILLER in that teeny tiny swim suit!!! You always look beautiful in everything. Love you and your hauls! :)

[@DustOnHerGrave]

We both have the same kind of body type so I really appreciate the try ons and you look SO amAZING. You always do. An you shouldn't have to apologize, post what you want and what you're comfortable with. We love you either way🖤🕷

[@sarahnorwood2418]

I just came across your channel, but I love your aesthetic! I love the spooky vibes.

[@Annamendo25]

Was just watching your Instagram story, and saw you uploaded. I clicked so fast!! Lol hope you’re still enjoying your night over there girl

[@kimberlytuckermoss7187]

I always love watching your haul videos!! Hope you keep on posting these!! Have fun and enjoy yourselves in Barcelona!! Be careful and stay safe!! And ain't nothing wrong with being a little chunky!! Girl, my husband tells me I'm pleasantly plump! Lol! Glad I'm not like a stick, I'm happy as hell with my curves!!! 🖤☠️🖤☠️🖤☠️💯💯🔥🔥🔥

[@agingethically]

Never feel obligated to do anything which makes you feel uncomfortable! You didn’t have to show the suits, but you look absolutely beautiful! Just remember when you’re feeling self conscious, future you will think you look so cute, fit, and young in these videos! Enjoy every moment of the youthful years while you can!!! Safe trip!!! ✌️❤️

[@Bulgaro]

GIRL WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??!!! That swimming suit looked gorgeous on you!!!

[@RaveBabyFuu]

girl, you will always see more flaws than anyone else will. don't be so hard on yourself. i dont see any fat popping out of that swim suit. you rocked it! the only accessory you were missing was some fire-y confidence! ♥