My Divorce Story: Chriselle Lim’s Lonely Marriage and Self-Discovery Journey

[@sarahex5846]

Something i see in Gary and Valerias relationship that i think makes it successful (from an outside POV) is that they communicate ALL expectations. All of them. There are no set ups for failure, if Valeria needs something from Gary she tells him. Additionally they have similar definitions for what respect is and are so respectful towards eachother. It's inspiring

[@woolypuffin392]

It was for me. I can't look at old pictures of myself now and not pity myself. I was miserable all the time, now I can be a sunshine most days.

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

keep on glowing ✨❤️

[@Klynker]

Started my separation on November 11th. I needed to hear this as a 32 year old woman who is starting from scratch after 10 years! Thanks ladies 🤗

[@MS_2423]

You will be okay, I admire you for having the strength in starting it.

[@smyying]

Side note, I’ve been following Valeria on and off. From this interview, it is magical to see her evolution over time.

[@plethoraria]

Just found this, and I'm so impressed with how articulate Valeria is, especially with conveying emotions. The spoken word can be such a gift and strength. Also, Valeria's wisdom and maturity is inspiring. Keep shining and leading the path for others! 🌟

[@meru.telman]

As a semi-recent divorcee I loved this so much. So many things that Chriselle said resonated with me. I was also completely alone in my marriage and in motherhood. I was a married single mom basically. Granted my ex turned out to be pretty much a narcissist (and I am not describing just a regular egoist). But this was so helpful in ways I didn’t even realize I needed to hear

I watched for the first time this podcast and I was hooked until the end of the episode. I’m married and it was so refreshing to hear two women talking so smoothly about the perspective of marriage and divorce today. Thank you so much for sharing this ❤

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

🙏🏻❤️ so glad you enjoyed it!!

[@jaquii77]

Absolutely beautiful podcast. I love how open and authentic Chriselle is ❤

[@katyashvirikasova1819]

I love this ! I just went through separation and I can relate so much . So happy I choose myself. I am insanely happy now .

[@ainatler]

I'm a big fan of Chriselle, I follow her since the beginning. Now i respect her even more! Big hugs from Mexico!

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

sending love!

[@mariesanchez]

You and Gary are a team! What a great example of a couple that is together and helping each other! Love how you share your points!!!!

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

Thank you 🙏🏻❤️

[@curiouslyunruffled]

This talk thankfully made me realize how I was living in the future in my head, no wonder I was feeling sad in the present. I totally got reminded to live in the moment which is something I stand by. Thank you for this insightful episode, loved it from start to finish. Keep going! ✨

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

So glad this episode helped! Thanks for watching ❤️

[@s.nicole9739]

This podcast brought me to tears. I felt all the same feelings when I went through my divorce 4 years ago. I hope you find your partner to grow with you. I found mine and I don’t even remember the girl I was back then now that I have my true partner in life

[@lalanguyen7242]

I was so excited to see two women I follow the longest time together! Love the podcast you guys are the best

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

Aw, thank you so much ❤🥹

[@Kemzozo]

Great podcast - i love the way they were both asking questions and both being thoughtful with their answers.

[@entirely_ok]

I found this podcast very beautiful!The insights and the wisdom shared in a calm conversation that makes us feel like being part of a lunch catch up date with them makes it relatable and actually allows to think of so many more perspectives. Loved the acknowledgment of we are thinking ahead but actively stepping one step back and focusing on the present moment. And the emphasis on feminine energy and allowing fun (especially after mentioning to have surpassed the ‚man hating phase‘ of the divorce)

[@jaysartori9032]

That is so true and such great advice about divorce, like you feel it way before you even think of putting pen to paper. It's like a storm coming way before you see it but you know something bad is coming off on the horizon.

[@mayagonzaleza]

Just started watching, I looove Chriselle. Can’t wait to hear her story.

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

she's truly inspiring ❤ hope you enjoy this conversation!

[@cristinitaandco]

I would like to hear the other side as well. Because she makes it sound like he is the only reason they failed and we really don’t know. It’s good she is happy now but divorce is so different for her each and this makes it sound like her divorce is like a good example. I admire her success and her courage but talking about this in such a positive note all the time never mentioning she was happy at some point I mean she had two beautiful girls makes me want to be really careful with what these “deep” conversations really are, just a talk between two people that like any of us are trying to figure it out every day

[@nantha07]

all her interview always play out that she was not happy and had to choose herself.

[@josephinesmith3131]

@@nantha07 praying mantis comes to mind 😮

[@balahatun]

I completely agree with you. as someone who followed her from day one with Michelle Phan, I think, as she said here herself, she had an unexpected rise to fame and success as a youtuber, and since it meant something more fun, powerful and better to her than being a wife, mom and a careerwoman, she followed that option. I doubt that she truly loved her husband, actually she hints it here by saying that she was just following the marrying crowd and doing what everybody was doing with the fear of being left with worse options (as they say in some cultures avoiding being 'bad apples at the bottom of the basket' as if there is such a thing🙄) I would have felt terrible hearing that if I was her ex. He was a significantly handsome guy with a great cv so maybe she did not even stop and love him for who he is in a soulful way.

[@katie8325]

@@balahatunthere is so much misogyny in your comment, so she should have stayed in a happy marriage because her ex is handsome and had a good cv?! Are you well?

[@nikolavojnovic6552]

​@@katie8325 There is no such thing as misogyny.

[@Usersq303]

Omg valeria! The amount of people you are helping, guiding through life and motivating is incredible! Thank you so much for this podcast! You are such a role model and an archetype of how women should be. So much love❤ i absolutely adored this episode with chriselle. Keep up the great work🎉

[@frenchie2700]

Exactly one month ago today, I left the man whom I thought was the love of my life. I had been with him for 15 years, on and off. I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer 3 years ago, and found out 6 weeks ago, he had been cheating on me as I was going through treatment. It is a death. I left and have not spoken or communicated with him at all. I deleted all the pictures, and feel like my old self was a lie with him. I know I have more important issues in my life (cancer) but this has broken my heart more than cancer.

[@Gurlhmong]

Wow this is incredibly sad. I’m so sorry and I wish you the best. In such a difficult time, you should have love and support. I hope you have a friend or family. 😢

[@frenchie2700]

@@Gurlhmong Thank you. I have amazing friends and family.

[@ralisimon4848]

very sad indeed but they always do that when we are at our lowest. I almost died with the birth of our third baby just to find out last night that he had been cheating. We have three small kids but i choose myself, I need to show my kids that it aint ok to put it up with that. its hard and I have no idea where to start from but deep down I know choosing myself is the right way forward.

[@frenchiepoo9846]

@@ralisimon4848 I am so sorry. Yes, choose yourself! It will be hard but you will feel liberated. Your children will understand. Good luck and stay strong!

[@spbg_4]

You are so strong! I wish you so much joy, love and happiness! Once you beat cancer, anything and everything will be possible! New love, new beginnings!❤

[@carolinabrown8336]

Valeria was young but luckily Gary was mature and likely overly ready for marriage. My husband and I were BOTH 20 years old when we married and the first 3 years were terribly, terribly hard and I consider it a miracle we made it through that period. I am in awe of my grandma who was married at 16 but I guess that's how things were done back then.

[@josephinesmith3131]

I agree, first few years of marriage are the hardest. I also have a grandma that got married at 17y old, my grandfather was 32. Through out their marriage my grandmother was not always happy but she always said she could not walk away from her husband. She cared that my mom would have her father and that her grandchildren would have their grandfather. I really admire my grandmother and her choices. Because of my grandma’s example my mom have had successful marriage and so do I, among our families we have no divorce. Because all women in my family mature and level headed we attract very strong, hard working, responsible spouses that end up treating all of us like queens.

[@balahatun]

this was weird to watch; I find valeria to be very genuine, organic and someone who has nonmaterialistic values - knowing chriselle way longer than her, I find chriselle to be very opposite of that, she always came across selfish and metarialistic to me, after her hiatus she looks even more that way, some of her new boyfriend reels are a bit cringey even, although she was always a woman with a good taste. one more point, I think she simply is not a motherly woman. It has been quite obvious to me. I wish she was honest about that because there are a lot of women having kids and they are not motherly people. that is a hidden pain no one ever talks about. sharing her experience of that would have been way more helpful, although I recognize that showing courage to admit that takes a special level of self-love and truthfulness. at least she could have just skipped this sharing her 'divorce wisdom'.

[@sweetnovember21]

Agree 💯💯💯💯

[@jaffy3551]

I agree too, with every point you’ve pointed out. Chriselle does come across to me as very a self centred & materialistic person. But yet again, none of us truly know her and what she has gone & is going through. I just hope she is happy & feels content now like she portrays online.

[@lexlife3660]

I am 100% with you, you speak my heart 😊

[@1bluegreen2]

Sound like you're possibly her bitter ex. That or a red-pill dude who can't get it even when you pay for it.. so you resent people

[@ashishasharma7919]

This!

[@courtyerey8919]

Currently going through a separation, this is just what I needed today…❤️

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

Glad this could help!

[@xxx7864]

she didn't have money when she married her husband and she wanted a prenup for what? for her "future business"? Prenups are for pre-marrital assets which she had none. I'm not sure if her "little side hustle" would go anywhere had it not been her ex's financial support in the beginning. What am I missing here?

[@ckim4956]

You can have a prenup when you start with nothing visualizing if and when situations. This will prevent a messy divorce when you have accumulated wealth and more cordial to draw up a prenup when starting with nothing

[@Asia.8]

Thank you Valeria ❤ Being in a marriage or divorce doesn't really matter, except our wellbeing and the kids one🌹 There is so much on our plate from both reality anyway, ultimately being healthy, honourable with our intention and happiness are the fundamental pyramid. I wish the best of luck to both of You ❤ I love you

[@balahatun]

the point Valeria makes about boys having way less examples on healthy masculinity is extremely important, I always say women's issues are also men's issues, we should not treat the subject by focusing on and fixing one gender's issues. women's issues are men's issues.

[@kimgirl702]

The takeaway here, for me, was when Valeria commented that Gary represents something she was lacking, her whole life. That resonated so deeply, because our husbands need for us to NEED them, in order to feel fulfilled on a very primal level. However, as discussed in this podcast, women don't need me anymore, on a survival or social level. However, a man CAN truly meet a need a woman has, that the world, friends and money cannot ever fulfill. ❤

[@maneeshamoua]

I really really needed this today. Thank you Valeria and Chriselle!

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

Glad this one came at the right time for you ❤️

[@LARISAINLOSANGELES]

You are doing such a beautiful work with the podcasts Valeria 😍

[@queenanhle1258]

Very nice points that both wise women make!

[@alezandradavila2581]

Yes emotional support is so big men think It’s just financial It’s emotional too !

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@IsabellaBazzara]

Loved this so much! :) Thank you

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@bettyglick2679]

Vulnerable and insightful conversation 🙏🏻

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

thank you ❤️

[@albeyna]

This episode was good and interesting but the many ads really disrupts the flow and listening experience

[@orangejmoothies]

miscommunication is often caused by unmet expectations that weren't communicated or both ppl aware of in the first place. communication is hard.

[@hristinastoimenovska5048]

Best podcast episode ❤ Love them both ❤

[@mamacist1539]

such intelligent conversations. love this. thank you for sharing your life experiences and thoughts.

[@eluby]

I was really looking forward to this ❤

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

Hope you enjoy it!!

[@AsiaRamadan-jf1xs]

She married Allen because it provided her security and as she said, her side hustle exploded. She became of fame and recognition when she was in the older side so she wanted more and travelling everywhere. Seems family and a husband was not in the right time for her. When she talks about a prenup she is implying Allen took her money. And its important to note he was always with the girls while she went travelling so in this case I feel he deserved it. When he said: “you have changed” and its true we can see that, her goals changed, her priorities changed and he didnt marry thinking in her been all of this. Its understandable the divorce but she shouldnt mention this is negative, he has the right to tell her she changed to became more materialistic.

[@lua604]

Love this episode

[@amandaconradd]

I loooved this episode

[@hazeylulu]

Makes me sad seeing how people feel pressured to get married a certain age. I'm now 34 and finally found a partner who i want to grow old with because I love him. Took me this long to be in a serious relationship but no regrets. No kids and I don't lead guys on. I'm noticing alot of people divorce after having a newborn. Like majority of people really date for the wrong reasons.

[@larrywatson3479]

Hello Valeria, This is such a beautiful conversation and such a great podcast Love you so much Valeria! Love, Janice and Larry Watson Pittsburgh PaA

[@dorkloading]

Can’t wait!! ❤

[@kozlowskaagnieszka4853]

Beautiful and clever guest❤

[@queenanhle1258]

Love this content! Women supporting women.

[@kevinroyceho]

i'm glad she learned from this divorce cause forcing your children to be in your content... ooof. the boundaries of those around you matter too! they most definitely should have a say in whether or not they wanna be posted online.

[@fitgirlzc631]

I realised I physically had a partner, but not emotionally very early on in the marriage. 👍🏻

[@TheMissBunny22]

Loved this episode! ❤

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

Glad to hear it ❤

[@queenluigi]

Gorgeous interview. Thank you.

[@annasiegler4932]

Loved this video but I think it should be clarified that getting married young is not unwise in itself. In many situations, it is a very wise thing to do if the two people want to have children and not be old parents or they want to start building a shared vision together - starting earlier in that case is a better idea but only IF those two young people know who they are and what they want out of their lives and are willing to put in the work as partners. So I would say it’s not a good thing to discourage young marriage but it is a good thing to discourage people from marrying when they have not yet grown to a place of knowing themselves deeply and what they want for their lives. The distinction is very important and I say this as a 21 year old who has wanted very seriously to be married for a decade and has spent the last ten years preparing myself for what I want. Getting to know myself deeply was a huge part of that preparation, so it is very invalidating when people say to me that young marriage is unwise across the board. It very much depends on the growth levels of the individuals.

[@ann4762]

i love this ! thank you ladies ❤

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

❤️ Thanks for watching!

[@KristaDanciulescu101]

Great guests!! Great job! I'm impressed...

[@ValeriaLipovetsky]

Thank you 🙏🏻

[@star2like261]

Great convo. ❤

[@linab.9780]

I don’t find the IG account of valeria anymore.. why?

[@richiemochi]

Positive masculinity role models there are several growing up like- Family matters, Full house, Home Improvement, Boy meets world. More masculine action role models- Superman, IronMan, Spider man, Batman, etc. Men and women can not be equals if they are couples in the 21st century. Its hard for men to treat women like a princess and at the same time having to carry many household chores and maintaining a job at the same time. Men now are not like the men our parents and grandparents time. These days it really takes a partnership in order for relationships to succeed.

[@lianalooksbyli8947]

I’m confused so if you didn’t have a partner emotionally why did you get married in the first place? You would think that this is a quality that you would want to assure yourself of prior to making such a commitment I’m genuinely asking this not to be hurtful, but because I really don’t understand the situation.

[@lyn2669]

For me, before getting married, he was always there for me emotionally. Prolly the sweetest, most generous and supportive partner. Willing to learn and are helpful in domestic work. But things completely changed after getting married. He is a narcissist - always gas light, very disrespectful, demoralising, entitled and irresponsible as a married man. People always say I’m sure there are things that you love about him before getting married - for me, he completely overturn after marriage. No one believes it cause he seem decent to outsider but no one truly knows what happens behind closed doors. People say, woman quit much earlier than they usually do. Woman are more forgiving, giving and patience but man usually takes it all for granted. I echoed Chriselle “no one go into marriage thinking they will separate / divorce”

[@Esoterica99]

Ugh are we still talking about her divorce? Is SHE really STILL talking about it?? We have enough books, content and shared wisdom about this topic everywhere already!

[@yvette4933]

It’s way too much, she need to stop

[@Esoterica99]

@@yvette4933 Yes it is too much. For someone who thinks she "liberated" herself from an unwanted life, she sure is still trapped in the paradigm of that marriage as THE DIVORCEE. Does she really want to be identified through her divorce? She may as well have decided to get final use out of that marriage by blasting her divorce stories as her main come-back PR campaign!! We got the message, okay, you got a divorce, now you're living your best manic life with your new boo and a great sex life, yes, so stop shoving your post-divorce wisdom down everyone's throat and main page! We're all so over it, Chriselle!

[@gwgwgw1234]

which book?

[@Gurlhmong]

No I needed this! More in depth! Maybe you didn’t need it but people going. Through divorce NEEDED this!

[@mrswitbooi]

Whether you're in a good or bad place in your relationship, I think it's important to hear other women's experiences so that you can navigate your own trials knowing you're not alone, or be the person to show someone else going through trials that they are not alone. Loneliness is the hardest emotion to move through. My heart breaks for Chriselle and anyone going through a rough time. Her story is helping so many women feel seen and heard and ultimately feel less lonely.

[@i123456987654]

That’s a good way to explain a prenup…it’s like a seatbelt

[@RayMak]

😢

[@Ithinksobaby]

55:16 you've realized that you don't want to open your household to everybody! Than you should change your channel description "... and gives you an all-access pass into the Lipovetsky household".... ❤

[@AsiaRamadan-jf1xs]

Rediscovering “my softness, my femeninity” = finding someone with more money than can surprise her with travels and expensive flowers, expensive gifts and Allen couldnt fullfill. Its not wrong, its a choice but she should tell it honestly and straight.

[@kathy6679]

Home vlogs please!

[@kfa6830]

Valerie, I think Kobe Bryant was a good role model for boys.

[@anhthynguyen9253]

Gosh Why Chriselle is still going with the divorce contents? It’s totally ditching her past image and say “ oh my old motherly businesswoman figure is a scam and shout out to the world I was not at fault, it was situational and look at me I’m happy.

[@rebeccachard5854]

30 years old having first child 😊is a good age , not too young. Right ?

[@christopherlewis2194]

Her husband was right she did change she got money and fame and now she thinks she can do better she's selfish

[@user-gz3gg9zz1h]

Chris Elle is really confident. She praised herself being beautiful, strong etc… I don’t know her inside but she’s not an eye candy for sure

[@syarh]

She put a big facade on her ig about everything. Showing her followers she has the best life in everything. I unfollowed Chriselle long before the divorce. All her ig posts are all pretentious and ultra consumerism. It’s like i watch a constant ads about everything. She needs to check on herself too if she got big headed, self centred and grew her egos to the extend that nobody is good enough for her and she was also the big problem. Im at shock i came across this video (suggested on my KZbin timeline) that she is divorced cos all she shows before was unrealistic perfection

[@marufgazi9025]

23:11 ❤❤ .. 29/03 fri :)))

[@salqubeq5203]

Why did you get married if you had commitment issues & were going to divorce? Why? Obviously your decision making is flawed & your mind had brought you to misery instead of happiness? Whatever your intelligence was telling you was also obviously completely wrong & now you must pay the price for your own decision making blunders! Remember the only person responsible for whatever experience you are having is YOU! It is an opportunity to reflect on your shortcomings & improve yourself & that may take some time... maybe a lifetime! You cannot blame others or the external world. Your life is the result of your own choices & doing! Good luck & bon voyage!

[@elism8862]

Can’t take serious couple of this girl and garry. Ok she had daddy issues and survival mode, she would fall to any old dude who “protects her”. But what garry had common with 20 yo? Def not her “mind”, probably body and “easy to manipulate” option

[@FoundSheep-AN]

Her husband proved with time he is investing in her and in their kids and he seems very supportive

[@josephinesmith3131]

They have a lot in common, their faith ( both Jewish, came from the same culture, where a man is a mucho man and girl is a princess) they have good marriage despite age difference. American culture would never get it, it comes within.

[@pearlfeather9326]

​@josephinesmith3131 Shes jewish??

[@SaturdaysT]

So fake and superficial 🥵

[@RobustArid379]

Society in marriage changed. I hate the new modern woman

[@bernadettesavage4786]

I don't think there is any woman that can be a good mum and bring home ALL the bread as well.

[@josephinesmith3131]

Sad to hear these stories. Marriage is a commitment, especially if kids are involved. I don’t respect women who gave up on their marriages. Divorce is always a choice not something out of your control.

[@trudetrudy]

I respect your opinions but I want to know what you think: So the commitment of each partner is to the marriage and not love or happiness for yourself? What happens if people grow out of love and lose respect for each other…Should they continue to stay together? What is the alternative for those who lose respect for one another and have tried their best to no avail.. If the marriage contract is binding forever, there would be no divorce process. It would be forbidden. Would you still lose your respect to the men who vowed to take care of a woman, but yet either emotionally or even worse physically abuse or control their spouse? I mean there is a range of what could happen to irrevocably break a marriage and a person down. To say you lose respect for women who divorce is quite an insensitive thing to say when you’re not in their position..😢

[@josephinesmith3131]

I understand your point. There are circumstances in marriage that are legitimate for divorce ( ex infidelity or physical substance abuse that leads to bodily abuse) . I agree in these circumstances women’s safety comes first, over any commitment. However I do think commitment to marriage trumps your personal happiness, which is very fleeting and poorly understood by any one. I have been married for over 20 years and understand ups and downs of marriage. It is really up to women to have successful marriage. I always treated my marriage as a job. Like in any job there is professionalism and standards ( ex be healthy, be groomed, use manners, communicate, constantly improve yourself physically, mentally, spiritually, don’t be late and don’t take long vacations , you may be replaced 😂).

[@trudetrudy]

I appreciate your answer. I see your point about the “job” example. But it really would help if the partner also does the same which in super rare.. for me personally I had a lot of suicidal thoughts because I felt I was trapped. Not trapped in the marriage but trapped in a link to my partner due to having a child. It’s tough, I honestly think if I’m unhappy I would not be able to raise a happy child. There’s no pretending for me. If I’m not happy I may as well be dead. That being said, if there are terrible situations women should have the choice to leave. We all have our own journey to go through

[@josephinesmith3131]

Being sad and have suicidal thoughts are not unique to anyone. We all have these moments that is why you always have to wait one more day…❤ When it comes to partners I would advise to lower your expectations or have no expectations at all. That is why you should date them but save intimacy for your husband. You have to be picky to select a right one. There is always time in marriage that one spouse does not do their duties what ever by choice or other unforeseen circumstances. My parents for example were married for over 40 years. In last 10 years my mom got severely sick. My dad could have walked away with minimal judgment ( everyone would have understood) but he did not walk away. He honored his commitment. I think because God helped him. If you find faith and put your trust in God, you will have ability to overcome many things and be happy in the same time. I wish you well.

[@meru.telman]

@@josephinesmith3131i am very sorry but respectfully i can’t agree on the part that the success in marriage comes down to women. And that saving intimacy helps anyone choose a better partner. Because I did that. Only had one relationship, got married after five years and was married for 4 years. Had a child, worked on the marriage all on my own, tried therapy for myself thinking that maybe if I fix myself to the oblivion my partner would finally pick up the slack. Because we did discuss everything before the marriage. And seemed like we agreed on everything. For then to see how everything changed once I was financially dependent on maternity leave and all the masks fell off. I was emotionally abused and then threatened physically. No one could have seen that coming. Because on paper he seemed perfect. On the outside we looked like a power couple. Until I stopped participating in the illusion and divorced that narcissistic and infantile person he showed himself to be. So no, it shouldn’t come down to only women working on the marriage. Two people agree and take vows. Both of them should be responsible on working on them.

[@christopherlewis2194]

I know her ex-husband wish he didn't give her no kids

[@christopherlewis2194]

Feminist mobo jumbo