WBI Webinar: Being Iced Out, 1 hr

Dr. Gary Namie covers some of the ways coworkers ostracize peers, a guide to how this can happen in certain situations regardless of who is involved, the adverse impact shunning and isolation have on people, and ways to break through the stigmatizing behavior. 1 hour. Recorded 7/7/12.

[@mthecat9250]

Even though it is a very painful experience I would rather be the scapegoat than the bully or slave for the bully.

[@melaniexoxo]

I especially appreciate that your videos dont blame the victim, as some others seem to

[@accountcompromised2166]

I am currently being mobbed at work. The other day I overheard a discussion regarding me where someone asked the manager if they were going to fire me the manager then replied "No, Im going to get her to quit." Today when I contacted my manager regarding next weeks schedule she told me that Im not on the schedule next week because there is a lowered budget for the shifts. Thank You for creating this very informative video because I feel like oftentimes the best and brightest employees tend to subtly be eased out of the workplace.

[@hereisayana8207]

You should report what you heard her say in writing

[@CarolSmith_authoress_]

Sending love and light to you

[@saviolla73]

youre right about the best and brightest tend to be eased out because the narcissist always has to win with their flying monkey crew. They get everyone to do their bidding and nobody is ever wise enough or brave enough to notice the narcissist for what they truly are and even if they do they feel really scared to confront or get in altercations because they probably know the outcome of those actions. The bully does hold hugely disproportionate power to what they ever bring to the table at work, and this needs to be studied very deeply because one persons confidence and superiority and delusions about their own grandiosity is now completely shifting 100s if not 1000s of other people's lives out of control.

[@carolmahoney2109]

Your videos saved my life, and I thank you for giving me back my life. I was bullied so bad, my hair was falling out, teeth were cracking and falling out, crippled over in pain, couldn't sleep, had nightmares about the job, was always sick to my stomach, and started bleeding internally. The only way to stop it was to get out. I went from a dehumanizing, toxic, lose-lose situation were I was called names and told I was the most useless person on the planet, to employer's fighting over how much more to pay me to get me to come work for them. If you are being bullied, GET OUT RIGHT NOW - IT ONLY GETS WORSE AND TRUST ME, IT IS KILLING YOU. And that's never worth it.

[@traveller8867]

Carol, so sorry that you experienced this and glad that you were able to get out I agree, how ironic it is that "all of a sudden" you're in demand. Those people are demons and were obviously jealous of you.

[@tompanetta2762]

My research on the topic called it a downward spiral. I could relate to an extent many years ago. But now I fully understand! It is never ending to all you stated and continually engulfs the target.

[@honeybadger8713]

I'm in this situation at work. I'm currently on workers comp. it's soul destroying.

[@silvanakingsland2305]

I have been in that situation

[@ganymeade5151]

A neighbor of mine was forced to go on Disability because her managers and coworkers said she did not focus quickly enough and seemed distracted at times. They told HR that she was weird and had serious mental problems. One of her managers said he wanted to shoot her. Rather than try to help her, they destroyed her career.

[@Christ_Is_Life10-10]

My only support is my savior Jesus Christ. I’m on the spectrum as an adult “high functioning “ and adhd. I’ve always been socially awkward and totally ostracized since my first job. People like me have no place in a profession so they think. God has other plans for me.

[@MeganMingler]

I deserve a lawyer who is educated on bullying. What my boss is doing to me is evil. Deceitful. Sneaky. Intimidating.

[@treatmenice1564]

holy shit this guy is spot on!

[@broGabiza]

Great video! I am I this situation and it not funny. I work in health care and who would guess that the carers are the worst bullies

[@marshamcdonald1475]

Nursing profession is notorious for its bully reputation, short staffing In southern hospitals too. Managers have no education Or degree in management. All of this together is a formula for disaster. Poor patient care. Such a shame, Also no drug testing is done During hiring process. A

[@pennykent5687]

Tell me about it. We in Minnesota have one of the largest Semali population in the country (tons of welfare benefits for them). They flood the caregiving jobs and treat the elderly with such horrendous disrespect.... It's heartbreaking to see, and management turns a blind eye or See's it and does nothing to them!!! Health Care is a very scary place to be a patient these days.

[@amber4778]

I totally agree. As a nurse it is hard to believe that a fellow nurse who is supposed to be caring and compassionate can bully other nurses . I do not understand how so many are bullied but yet she has upper management wrapped around her finger. I am currently looking for another job and I am out on medical leave but feel so bad for the others who are stuck and left behind having to deal with the verbal and psychological abuse. I still cannot comprehend why this woman does this. Is it power? Are they so insecure they uave to bully? I dont understand how someone can hurt people so badly but yet have the nurse title, which implies compassion and care.

[@ganymeade5151]

social workers are among the worst also; social services are full of bullies who say they hate poor people and low-lifes they help

[@bobbynicole10]

True that! I work for an education charity... awful bullying.

[@cminor3016]

Best weapon is to become indispensable, isolate yourself, be amacable. If you go through this sh** verbally attack the company from without with the help of others. This embarasses and exposes the company. Sometimes you have to be an a**** yourself, and ballance this with your faith. Don't fall into the get along go along b****🤣

[@evelynmills495]

OMG I am shocked to the core to find how 'SPOT ON' this piece is I have almost lost the ability to move at this moment 🙏. Dr Gary you are the David Attenborough to "world bullying"

[@Bar_Bar27]

Fight back if and when you can and have the strength. Do your best to fight for yourselves, at least it will keep you some self dignity. Stand for the truth and good fight against lies and the bad. Try to not back down easily.. we are way stronger its just that they are coming with more people against one and no one will stand by you so its you for yourself. If you put a lot of your time, strength and integrity into this job, please don't back down easily, but don't do it alone and do it smart, be as much as calculative as you can be and use the right people that on your side. Hire them if you'll have to. Give some fight and aim to win. You can give up later on but give some fight please make them think twice of doing it to the next person after you.

[@sammypete6828]

Bullying is rewarded and it saves companies money by getting rid of people who maybe getting paid more than they're worth(according to the company). This is the truth. Why do you think they get rid of people right before their pensions or retirements etc.

[@pennykent5687]

I can believe it, no doubt!

[@accountcompromised2166]

This apparently has become a common practice. I have even heard stories where a new hire was due for their med insurance and the company fired her so they wouldn't have to provide her coverage.

[@Gill12283]

That's what happened to me 😠

[@accountcompromised2166]

@@Gill12283 Everything will work out to your advantage. When unfair situations arise, I believe that the universe is steering us in a more positive direction. My greatest adversity turned out to be my biggest blessing. I have witnessed companies "let go" of employees that were pregnant right before their insurance coverage was due to begin.

[@Gill12283]

@@accountcompromised2166 Thanks for your reply. It was four years ago now and it's been a long haul but I am now retired and don't feel quite so overwhelmed 😃

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

Thank you.

[@jesusdiedforyou777onlyway]

Why don't we have more rights?. it's like Jr high school at my huge corporation (we are worth millions and millions of $ on the NYSE) they seem to hire narcissistic people in so called leadership roles, which I don't call them leaders. I have sever migraines/ vertigo they are trying EVERYTHING to get me out, I've been there 30 plus..even disability or SSI disability is impossible. Now they want my medical records because I asked for "Reasonable accommodations" to work from home, like other employees get to do when they are out sick. I hope someone buys our company that's more reasonable.

[@gayleneflower398]

one worker was just out of college, one worker was an intern and me with years of experience, including management. They threw me to the wolf, brown nosers. I had no chance with getting uniformity with the group. I quit

[@YoYo-gt5iq]

I am so happy the story at 36:00 led to the college paying a price. That's some sick shit. I heard of a manager at the veterans hospital in Northport, NY who was relegated to a basement room in the library (not as nice is it sounds) where she had no Internet. This was not very long ago. She since escaped and was promoted.

[@traveller8867]

I remember this story.

[@jasonoliver7717]

Crucial work.

[@Nobious2]

Strokes are caused by crap at work. 10:00 Wow. I've seen this in my family.

[@pennykent5687]

Wow, really??? So scary!!!

[@ganymeade5151]

so are deaths from heart attacks; very sad; and the perps are never accountable

[@allkindsamusicchick]

Yes, absolutely! My ex's wife, a 'devout' and active Catholic, and someone in a managerial position, actually caused someone underneath her, to be taken out on a stretcher with a heart attack. I never would have believed it, given what and how I perceived her to be. An employee at their place of business, who I had only met twice, pulled me aside as I was entering the local grocery store to reveal this information. I initially refused to believe her, because 'that' was not how I knew my ex-husband's wife to be, so I figured a disgruntled employee? Time went on, and my ex-husband's wife developed breast cancer, or so it was relayed. Me, being who I am, was devastated for her. She was such a nice girl, IMO. She asked that I bring my son to her bedside, after the double mastectomy, or so it was relayed. As we circled around her bedside for support, she told us that she had 'taken away' computer usage for all employees at their collective place of employment and that if they needed to look something up, they would need to go through her, and she would then look it up for them, all adult, and veteran employees, mind you. I watched as she laid in that bed, to see how much she 'relished' revealing that transpiring of command. THAT struck me as Odd....very, very odd! She was on a reprieve from her death-bed, only to 'Relish' in that command!!??!! From 'that' incident on, I kept a closer watch on her. I have been sorely disappointed. She absolutely has abusive tendencies. So what do we do? I have other more personal instances, but I will spare you, as they are not related to the workplace. I think that Dr. Namie's presentations hit the nail on the head, time, and time again. Unfortunately, I have my very own personal experiences to draw from. Bullying and 'group' bullying has run rampant in certain workplaces. and there are no guarantees if you have the strength to move forward. Decent paying jobs are not necessarily plentiful. As a side note....I actually left 'another' abusive workplace' to find myself where I am today! The first two lines in Baba O' Riley, by The Who, succinctly state, "Out here in the fields, I fight for my meals!" Ain't it the truth! Ain't it the truth!

[@YoYo-gt5iq]

I find it fascinating that New Yorkers are thought to be callous when there is a volunteer civilian Force called the guardian angels that walks the streets at the most dangerous hours in the most dangerous places. They formed in the 1980s.

[@hereisayana8207]

Nyers are the easiest to work with because they're not into pettiness on the job... if they don't like you, they can work around you and still be professional

[@berlinrelic]

Best thing to do is get the hell out of there.

[@KarmasAbutch]

I’m tired of these throwaway hit n run solutions... like were all just staying at our shitty jobs like a big victimy sitting ducks, when we could “just leave’.

[@ganymeade5151]

If you can. However, if you must pay for mortgage, rent, car, and food it is not so easy.

[@NostalgiaVibes420]

Easily said, but not everyone can just leave. There should be laws in place to protect people from workplace bullying. It really screws with a person livelihood. It happened to me. And I'm experiencing it again.

[@majdkattan5738]

Thank you for this. I appreciate it.

[@kathleens7131]

Really great information. Wish I had this information when it was happening to me. Moved on and now in a much better place.

[@prima6170]

Wonderfully insightful. Absolutely facinating.

[@YoYo-gt5iq]

Please go back and look up the Kitty Genovese Story. The cops were called and some people shouted at the man to stop and he ran away. There was also a documentary made that came out a few years ago regarding her brother who fought in Vietnam because he didn't want to live in a world where people wouldn't go and help others.

[@traveller8867]

That was horrible. I saw that documentary too.

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

What are the people who do this exclusion thinking? Are they not embarrassed to be a bully or do they rationalise it? Is 48 hours enough time to read and digest this study? It can be bought for 48 hours for 7 dollars.

[@hereisayana8207]

Seems like they hate people that are nice, kind and too friendly

[@EiziEizz]

They are ClusterB disordered subhuman psychos

[@NostalgiaVibes420]

This really saddened me knowing all of this is caused by human behavior. They are what we call “evildoers”

[@sl4983]

Hi Mr. Namie, your website is down!

[@Lucky2beme]

@savage--you are correct!

[@pennykent5687]

Psychological harm and the tearing down of a lifetime building of who you are inside and your character.... I would believe this would be the most damaging. That's what I believe the Psychopath, x military, Director of Nurses tried to do to me at my dad's nursing home. RIP dad 12.21.18. This gay...woman really wanted to destroy me.... because I witnessed what was going on there, and I was REPORTING ON THEM CONSTANTLY with every new thing I saw. The DON DID NOT LIKE THAT!!! SO she came after me with everything she had. I must have been a real threat that she needed to put her military experience into practice once again. The day I saw her eyes go black and that hauty smurk come across her face.... That really freaked me out!!!! I had NEVER saw ANYTHING LIKE THAT BEFORE!!! -EVER!!! All I could think of was "Wow!!! What was THAT?!!!!" Scared the... out of me!!!!" -I just couldn't accept it. I thought, "She's really sick!!!!"

[@KarmasAbutch]

Robin Lindberg WTF does “gay” have to do with that?

[@pennykent5687]

@@KarmasAbutch are you ok?

[@ganymeade5151]

She is demonic.

[@ganymeade5151]

@@KarmasAbutch Your bias is showing. Gays can also be bullies.

[@uonlymatterificare]

Can I have a copy of ostracism please?

[@saviolla73]

It is truly horrendous how many precious years of productivity and life we lose , along with health , family relationships , and our sense of confidence, just by having one insecure bully be our boss. We develop chronic diseases, lose many more future years of life , and in the present we need to cope and re-establish completely from scratch just because someone thought they were the alpha male and owner of everything and everyone when in reality they were just a stupid employee who could project themselves out like an alpha to everyone and nobody had the guts to stand up and question their behaviour

[@WBI]

Beautifully put. May I post this on the WBI website? You're anonymous.

[@silvanakingsland2305]

Labor boards have extremely weak laws. Nothing is done

[@traveller8867]

Exactly. In fact, the victim has to sign an NDA and the perps get promoted.

[@savage_skirt5386]

that argument that people who lack empathy were raised in an environment where they were not nurtured is flawed. many people with personality disorders, grew up in a perfectly healthy famility environment.

[@EiziEizz]

Exactly, this BS is usually peddeled by libtard blank slatists.

[@nadinemwiseneza8667]

🤷‍♀️

[@catchingpearls4679]

This video is 10 years old?? This movement has not been effective at all! In fact bullying now has been given a nice acceptable name 'quiet firing'. They rally up and orchestrate elaborate passive aggressive hostile environments openly directed at the employee they decide they don't like and they show no mercy until that person walks out the door!