What Happens When Parents Dont Take Care of Their Kids? | Part One | Origin

This in-depth series follows the entire adoption process from the parents who are desperately fighting to keep their children to the couples eagerly waiting to become adoptive parents and bring a child into their home.
The process begins with the most difficult decision of all: the decision to remove a child from its birth family. This episode follows the social workers whose job it is to take children away from their parents and recommend whether they should ever return; and parents who are desperately fighting to keep their children.
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[@Andizu1]

Matthew thinking they're taking kids away because other people can have them when they're unable to get kids is just a whole new level of stupidity and lack of accountability.

[@beverlyanne5192]

Its his excuse rather than looking at himself

[@gargwinvinesnake6961]

Because everyone is lining up to adopt children born from drug abusers, alcoholics, unknown medical history, and who knows how many other issues.

[@jademoon7938]

The level of delusion and detachment from reality are absolutely astounding and he is very clearly of below average intelligence. It’s not just that he refuses to take accountability, it seems like he can’t process how consequences work or identify what he said or did as the reason for why things happen. He’s scary and dangerous. There’s a vacancy in those eyes and he’s so quick to anger and lashing out. He’s SO abus1ve to his partner, who is also very clearly of below average intelligence as well, and he’s willing to openly berate her and blame her for absolutely everything in front of child and family services. I’m genuinely floored this entire video like he’s a monster I wish one of them would get their tubes tied or go on birth control or do literally anything to keep children away from them.

[@nothanksplease]

that has happened but that clearly isnt the case here. i can tell...

[@AbraMacabreXx]

​No it really doesnt work like that, i promise you. You can tell....? Lol ok matthew​@@nothanksplease

[@bekka20]

Why aren't they trying to get matthew away from emily?? She's clearly in danger, not just the baby.

[@abigailloar956]

Sadly, she is an adult. She makes a choice every day to stay. Intimidated or not, she has to ask for help

[@christinemoore6911]

Agree he is ruining her life

[@melissamartin4183]

Because she is an adult

[@neohermitess420]

She's 18 :/

[@FlockingAroundKC]

I learned this the hard way! As a woman you are just as guilty for the exposure to the abuse if you don’t get away. I luckily learned before it was too late to just get away but some aren’t so lucky. The kids come first, no time spent in a relationship is worth being able to come home to your baby! No one is more important than the kids!

[@KeiraMarieASMR]

Matthew is the reason that Emily doesn't have her daughter and you can tell. She acts just like my mum when we were in a dv situation. She needs to leave him or she'll never get her baby

[@ulaula7274]

They both have mental disabilities, due to FAS.

[@Ellieana33]

I agree

[@lc4life369]

Havent watched the video yet but I'm pretty sure by what you commented that Emily is actually the reason she doesnt have her child. Because Emily won't leave him and do whatever she needs to do to keep him away from her daughter. Wich she could get help with in most places. If shes the one who wants custody of her child she is the one responsible for keeping her safe. I do feel for people in those situations. My mom was one of them for a while. But I still think she is the reason she doesnt have her child.

[@sheribrougham4863]

Totally agree. She needs to spend three months doing a dv course until she sees the coercive control. He's the issue. The police need to arrest him for coercive control so she has time to get strong enough to get rid of him for good. The courts should remove his parental rights so he has no right to have contact with them.

[@KeiraMarieASMR]

@@lc4life369 she’s not the reason. DV victims are so controlled it can take 7-15 times for them to fully leave. He’s controlling her. She can’t leave. He’s got her in this thought system that she has to stay with him

[@bigb853]

Poor, poor Emily, run dear, run. Focus on your daughter and getting sober,

[@debbiemohekey1509]

This is the second time this has been uploaded. Emily left and baby was adopted. Emily said to me in comments she did the best she could for her baby at the time. She was focusing on improving her life. Hope she is doing well.

[@eunicestone6532]

Emily probably did the best thing for that daughter. Drugs, alcohol and children do not mix.

[@bigb853]

@@debbiemohekey1509 Your'e right, it dawned on me later. Yes, I hope her and baby are well.

[@ophiecat]

Men like Matthew will never change. They do not see their behaviour as wrong.

[@EIizabethGrace]

Absolutely. If he is - as he instinctively seems to me - a less sophisticated (ie less manipulative, far more stupidly obviously abusive in public) version of my mother, this pattern of behavior isn’t amenable to change. People like this are like nasty, big toddlers, fully focused on themselves, barely able to see others as full humans rather than things at their disposal, and barely (if at all) able to self-regulate, but with the freedoms and rights of a legal adult, and a lifetime of experience in rescripting reality, eschewing responsibility, and blaming everyone but themselves for the consequences of their own actions. They’re as close as it gets to being psychologically unable to be anything other than an asshole, and they’re _not_ parent material. Nor do they care to be, beyond appearances and winning custody battles that allow them to maintain control over their kids and to spite whoever is or they perceive to be the opposition.

[@andreaschulz459]

I guess Matthew got alkohol exposition during pregnancy of his mother. So he cannot act the right way.Tragedy! He cannot take care for his baby!

[@wolfe8421]

Emily broke my heart. For her to know in her heart, adoption is best for the emotional stability and development of her child - God bless her. That Is a good mother. I hope her life has become better and that piece of works out the picture. What a sad situation.

[@anonymous_123anonymous]

WHY ISN’T ANYONE CONCERNED WITH GETTING EMILY AWAY FROM HIM???? The baby isn’t the only one in danger here!!

[@ophiecat]

Women like Emily cannot be made to leave. They usually stay in these abusive relationships.

[@truzle6133]

Because she is a grown adult and the baby is a freaking baby

[@JessicaRodriguez-zy5gz]

Different country. Different rules.

[@anonymous_123anonymous]

@@truzle6133 she is a *person* being *abused* at minimum verbally, but most likely physically too behind closed doors after seeing his behavior. And usually people in her situation need help getting out of those situations. Maybe think twice before you make your next comment.

[@anonymous_123anonymous]

@@ophiecat I am unfortunately aware. It’s just frustrating. 😭

[@linda9115]

I wouldn't leave Mathew with a stuffed toy let alone a baby

[@Milopeperomeo123]

how could she be with someones like that, he's horrible

[@dianestevens2659]

​​@@Milopeperomeo123he is quite a dangerous person, no insight, violent and aggressive.

[@bigb853]

@@Milopeperomeo123 Most likely from trauma herself with little to no family support.

[@amandahood7861]

Same here

[@christinemoore6911]

He’s so aggressive volatile and uncontrollable. That baby would not be safe with him. He’d been l9sung his temperin five minutes

[@sylviekins]

Matthew can’t even behave himself for 10 minutes in a meeting without swearing and being physically and verbally aggressive. He needs to be controlled. His behaviour is atrocious! I wonder if he would be different with men, he is just as bad.

[@pce12345]

Think he's brain damaged? / Fetal alcohol disorder or something like that?

[@gloriabaumstimler2729]

This is a person who may or may not have been abused, buim sure he was never told no

[@donisecyre6746]

she is 18, why couldn't they take mother with child into "care"? Teach her how to parent rather than psychologically and emotionally break the mother/child bond.

[@jadewilson9018]

This comment should be higher. As a person who went through this, and am also now deeply educated in behavioural science and family law... this policy needs to change... Emily is a victim. The mother and child are symbiotically victimised in a dv dynamic and removal of a baby from a mother is further traumatising both victims , the dv perpetuate actually benefits again from. the child being removed from the mother due to the damage is causes her and rei forcement from an authority about her diminished value as a human. It's wrong. Policy must change

[@666esije]

Because Emily is 18 so in some countries and this one, she’s an adult so they can’t do anything unfortunately :(

[@javanjunkindahouse6625]

Agreed. I’m a foster caregiver in Canada and I have seen that happen here. Mom and baby are both in a care home for at least a year while mom has supported parenting and time to find a home etc I don’t know the situations, if it’s dv or not, I don’t ask questions,but either way it seems far better for both mom and baby and attachment

[@pso4686]

She’s la legal adult so she can’t be in care

[@cassandrakemara8755]

Even if she was older they should do this will all frist time moms

[@theloneone7587]

I am a social worker in the US. His behavior although common should never be tolerated. Emily should have as part of her treatment plan and path towards parenting, a DV support group. Matthew is a child, throwing a tantrum. He should not be allowed to visit his child after the outburst. He does this in public, imagine what he does in private.

[@ronswansonsdog2833]

Agreed, he’s a 40 year old child.

[@trextor23]

The couple so chilled when they've had their new born taken away. I'd be crying my eyes out and doing everything to keep my kids.

[@kaykanut8778]

You can't judge someone's grief. They were already involved with the department, so I'm sure they saw it coming as well.

[@jadewilson9018]

I think Emily has li Ed with this removal as a fear for the duration of the 6 mi ths I vestigation ..

[@TrueEnergizerBunnies]

The lost 4 sons previously so I'm sure they are used to it somewhat at this point. They even said in the show "we just want to get it over with"

[@melissachatwin9673]

maybe they're past that. You take something that means so much to a person and hold their child against them, make a person jump through often impossible hoops, cancel visits for no reason, be forever saying goodbye they end up numb and exhausted and frightened to express anything as it usually gets held against them and accused of being crazy or irrational.

[@Loosybaboosy]

He can't see what a bully he is. He's so focussed on how he feels and his story. He has no idea the impact he has on others. He's too immature and set in his ways to ever change. RUN EMILY!

[@R0291-l1l]

Um....how OLD is Matthew? He looks way too old to be with that girl. And given how wild he has been with the case workers, I'd be scared for her life

[@loriepark404]

Matthew is 40 yo and Emily is just 18yo.

[@louisegardenia7674]

It’s not right but the age of consent is 16. I would think she’s looking for a father figure due to her childhood. I had a relationship with a 45 year old at 16, I was seeking someone to care about me. I hope she got the support she needed to leave and meet her full potential.

[@francinejones2524]

He looks like a 60 year old chronic alcoholic.

[@lucyadventure6297]

The fact that England's age of consent is 16 years old is disgusting. Poor Emily would have probably never been in this situation. She's obviously in danger being near him, let alone her child.

[@only1bladetitan]

I was just wondering this myself, he looks SUPER old compared to Emily. their age difference and the way Matthew treats her explains everything. I have a feeling Matthew knew her before she was legal, and exactly how to make her do whatever he wanted.

[@MomOfSeven123]

No question that Emily was abused growing up.

[@CotyWilliams-j2k]

Excuse you child psychologist but some women grow up in a nom abusive home and still end up in abusive relationships you know nothing 😂

[@lucyleo5727]

@@CotyWilliams-j2kWhy is that funny?

[@mooshi7861]

​@@CotyWilliams-j2ksure, but the likelihood of someone who grew up around these sorts of environments are way more likely than someone who didn't to involve themselves in them in their adult life, not to mention the show literally said due to Emily's upbringing, insinuating she went through some stuff

[@mooshi7861]

​@@CotyWilliams-j2kapparently you know nothing 😂😂😂

[@julieannemichelle]

The arrogance of some of these fathers disgusts me. I would never choose my partner over my child.

[@francinejones2524]

Exactly. My fiance has children and I don’t. I would never have asked him to leave his children to move to be near me, so I moved to be with him and the kids.

[@richradtylr4]

Yeah, i think your right...seems narcissistic.

[@osheaeimear83]

Ray is right. Demanding getting specific help that vulnerable people cant access is cruel. Emily needs access to care and so does Nicola.

[@ellenfoster9764]

OMG. To see Emily sitting next to her man, beaten, slumped over, looking down. She desperately needs to get away from him

[@EuniceStone-s9j]

She doesn't want to be away from him.

[@neohermitess420]

Matthew's absolute refusal to accept accountability for his actions and CONSTANTLY blaming others and inability to recognize/choose socially acceptable behavior is GROSS and DANGEROUS.

[@heatherwolmarans8287]

He reminds me of someone I know who had Foetal Alcohol Syndrome, no impulse control, irritable and prone to lashing out, emotional development of a 10 year old, it's so sad.

[@angeldip5797]

Narcissistic

[@BeatleWolfgangAR]

Just another of thousands of irrecuperable cases. And the Nicola woman. This won't change or improve.

[@mymail1938]

​@@angeldip5797 Absolutely. I was married for ten years to a narciccist. Same behavior under pressure.

[@MatildeReadett]

Sounds like a narcissistic man unfortunately for everyone involved.

[@ppeans]

My goodness that independent reviewer was simply wonderful. She is SO right that a child will be deeply affected by the small words and actions the bio mom went through, even if they are not reunited.

[@RoxyTrevellas]

I found all the professionals involved in the different cases sounded quite intelligent, considerate and thoughtful.

[@dannibee3648]

Wow For Emily to be that selfless to not contest the decision for the best interest of her baby speaks volumes to the love she has for that baby. She just unfortunately can’t provide a safe environment for her. I’m shocked someone her age would make that decision when there are parents older than her who drag out a case for years despite how horrible that is for a child, knowing they aren’t fit. A parent, like Emily, putting the best interest of the child first is so refreshing to see in the child services world. I hope she’s doing well today and the baby girl is happy and thriving.

[@melissachatwin9673]

yes, isn't it great that between the system and the father she's been beaten down to just give up. She knows even if she leaves, he'll harass her and she'll have to continue to prove herself to workers, she be controlled not only by the system but also her ex/partner. Do you know what this even does to a child? That the system is rife with abuse itself. Why are we not offering protection to mothers and babies and the security they deserve rather than the powers that be letting these abusers walk free as if they are untouchable.

[@cookiemonster40]

If only she had the same love for herself. I was her, once.

[@jessovenden]

It’s rather a pity that both Emily and her baby can’t be fostered together, maybe for a few years… I know that is a bit strange to say but having been in a situation not completely different from this, it’s what I secretly wished for.

[@SavageMinnow]

I wish someone had been there to foster you, and all the other young mums who need help. Some need it more than others, but I wish it was available for those who could use it.

[@jessovenden]

@@SavageMinnow Thank you, you are very kind.

[@fosholyfe6115]

YES! I just wanted to be fostered with my baby 😢

[@jessovenden]

@@fosholyfe6115 You understand me. My heart goes out to you ❤️‍🩹

[@jessovenden]

Hearing others went through similar experiences, and possibly wished they had been fostered together with their child, is making me cry a little. My heart goes out to you. Often I have felt that I’m alone in that scarring experience, obviously we all had unique experiences but I feel we are not alone after all. We understand.

[@danny13927]

It's so good to see people cover a topic that is usually taboo in our culture. Thanks!

[@UniqueCuriousMakeupArtist]

17:06 He’s delusional, disturbed, controlling, abusive, degrading, and out of control. No child or person is safe in any environment he is a part of. The mother needs counseling to realize that his behavior is controlling and abusive. If she wants to keep her child, he needs to be out of the picture. He’s a ticking time bomb that continuously shows that he is not able to control his behavior. Over a cereal bowl…. That’s replaceable.

[@scdu]

He also seems like he's way older than his teenage girlfriend, just a scumbag all around.

[@claireconolly8355]

Sadly with someone like him, unless he's locked away, as soon as Emily leaves him, her risk of being assaulted or murdered is very high. Very dangerous

[@UniqueCuriousMakeupArtist]

@@claireconolly8355 It can be 🥺

[@tonyhoffman3309]

Why is there zero help for men who are abusive like this?

[@UniqueCuriousMakeupArtist]

@@tonyhoffman3309 There is therapy out there. Most feel that they don’t need it, feel too proud, or are in denial.

[@avaearles5609]

As someone who was a very young mom the situation with Emily breaks my heart because she is such a good mom and I really hope she gets away from him

[@michelletodd4893]

She's not. She decided to lay with that dummy and have a child. Don't know if they are married but the police are constantly called out. This didn't happen prior to child being born.

[@DizzKola3]

I wish Emily could have someone, besides a social worker, to be a parent to HER to help her break free from Matthew, I think she has the potential to be a good mom. If he cant even keep it together in front of the very people who make the decisions about whether they have their child or not, then he surely can’t keep it together at home.

[@jadelynn1703]

I don't know how old this video is,but I hope Emily ran from Matthew and never looked back. He sees no problem with anything he does, thinks every one else is the problem.... probably this isn't the first woman he was (at least) mentally abusing, and probably has other children out there he isn't allowed to see.

[@jo-jo8845]

100 %

[@TrueEnergizerBunnies]

I feel horrible for Emily. She seems like she'd be a just fine mom and even the social workers agree that she'd be a good mom, but its her abusive boyfriend that is ruining everything. No doubt he's abusive toward Emily all the time. She needs to get away from him. I wish someone would help her with that so she could be free and get her baby girl back. Leaving domestic violence, especially at such a young age and with no resources, can be really hard. Emily needs help.

[@EIizabethGrace]

The thing is, help and encouragement aren’t always enough. She most likely has been given or offered a lot of info, counseling, and and support, and been pointed to plenty of associations that are there to help women in her exact situation and provide resources. That’s not usually all there is to it. Plenty of people stay in abusive relationship even if they know they could leave. Even when they have their own support system. Even women who have their autonomy (money, career/job prospects) and don’t face the threat of serious violence. Even men who are believed and know they don’t risk legal retribution or to lose their children. Plenty also go back after leaving. Multiple times. There’s so much more psychology behind leaving than just being told you can or should. The resources are there, and in a case like this there’s no way she hasn’t been given a full briefing on what her options are. It’s more complicated than that.

[@sunandanarayanan7016]

Where is Emily’s family ?

[@kylieclark6313]

I think they need to remove this guy all together it's clear that he's controlling of her and she is intimidated by bim

[@sylviekins]

He tries to control everybody and is verbally abusive and physically aggressive.

[@melissachatwin9673]

@@sylviekins yep and they call the police and what happens? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. They should be ensuring that charges are filed, and he is put before the courts.

[@PandoraBear357]

​@melissachatwin9673 if she refuses to press charges and covers for him, the police can't do anything. If she won't leave him, no one can do anything.

[@thecraftynaturalmama9736]

Matthew is an abuser. He doesn't need to have his kids back, but Emily definitely would have a shot if she would leave him. She needs to flee. He's probably hitting her

[@staceygrant7217]

I can't imagine staying with a man at the cost of my child. These poor girls are just so broken and weak. Makes me wonder what life was like for them growing up.

[@emilywiebel3238]

Emily is a child herself, why aren’t they stepping up to help her. Her relationship is probably normal to her bc of how she was raised. She needs helps herself. Her and her baby need a home together where people can teacher her what love is and how she should be treated. This is like the children here in the US who age out of the foster care system with no family and end up in some of the worst situations bc they have no one. They end up with an abusive man who controls them and they don’t know any different. It’s heart breaking.

[@melissachatwin9673]

They won't step up because they're afraid of him themselves, they have no life experience to know how to act appropriately nor do they care. If they cared they'd have not only called police but pressed charges too and not, simply driven Emily home to an enraged man

[@tiendaphillips8738]

The mom that didnt show to say goodbye to her baby broke my heart. That poor little boy. And emily needs to get far away from mathew. She needs a family herself it seems.

[@melissachatwin9673]

how many times do you think they already had to say goodbye. For all you know it could have been the straw that broke the camels back

[@tiendaphillips8738]

@melissachatwin9673 but that was the last time she could say goodbye. Idc I'm a mom and if I knew I'd never see one of my kids again and that was my last time ever to see them and hug them and kiss them id kill to be there.

[@TheCarlScharnberg]

I feel so sorry for Emily and her daughter. Emily is a battered woman stuck in an abusive relationship. She needs saving also.

[@melissachatwin9673]

yes, but that never seems to happen in these cases, child's ripped out of home or hospital (which is also against the best interest of the child in those early days) and mum is left to manage her abuser and virtually evict him and keep him from the home (just calling the police for help is just one more reason in cps eyes to hold that child) so she ends up virtually alone and trying to rebuild her life, hide and get her child back while also fighting in court to prevent visitation because often the abuser then gets contact and visits with the child

[@colleenobrien8212]

What a load of crap. My Mom didn’t work, and couldn’t drive a car and yet she packed up seven kids and left my Dad. She remained separated from him for over 6 months until she was sure he had quit drinking. She reunited with him and he never abused her again. He had a couple of slips with drinking but when I turned 10 he stopped drinking and was sober for the rest of his life. 27 years. This all happened back when there was no help for people in this situation. Not the church and not the state. And often not the extended family. But my little 5 ft tall Mom was fierce in the protection of her children and my Dad loved his family enough not to give up trying to change.

[@TheCarlScharnberg]

@@colleenobrien8212 Go educate yourself, Colleen. It would do you some good.

[@colleenobrien8212]

@@TheCarlScharnberg why don’t you educate yourself? Oh I see, you’re smarter than everybody. Kiss off. There is no education better than experience.

[@colleenobrien8212]

@@TheCarlScharnberg why don’t you try educating yourself? Oh, that’s right, you’re already smarter than everyone else. Experience is the best educator, which I already laid most of mine out there. Smug people like you are assholes.

[@Theycallmecanns]

I ran from my drug addict baby daddy 1 month ago. Best decision I ever made for baby and I ❤ I hope she gets the help she needs, that poor baby needs her mother😢

[@oc2538]

12:55 Calling her names infront of the social services isn't going to help you ever get your baby back. Matthew is a petulant child. He's used swearing and screaming as a way of being in control. Intimidating the staff like he's entitled to the baby when he's the reason they lost the baby. And all over a bowl? Make it make sense.

[@JillianMatchett]

This is one of the more depressing things I have ever watched.

[@ChristinaMayoAR]

42:56 that's a sick smile. He's relieved... Not sad.

[@jennjeffs4893]

Matthew needs to shut his mouth & open his ears. He refuses to listen. Thinks he's done nothing wrong. I understand he's angry, but acting like a ignorant ass isn't going to get his child back!!!!! RUN EMILY!!

[@alovette5755]

And constantly saying everyone else is scum

[@EIizabethGrace]

Ya, dude…bad news. This guy sounds like a way dumber, way less sophisticated, way more conspicuously abusive (in public) version of my mother. If that’s true, you could physically tape his mouth shut, keep his ears opened with forceps, write “not scum” on everyone’s forehead, and he’d still go on exactly like this, completely undeterred. This kind of person doesn’t _want_ to see - let alone acknowledge - their responsibility or where they went wrong. To avoid that is perhaps their outmost priority.

[@catherinethemba]

He's too stupid

[@createwithkas]

"It's the rest of somebody's life, really… It's not a parking ticket" THIS. SO grateful for these social workers who are paid little and work tirelessly to make a difference!

[@melissachatwin9673]

paid so little and work tirelessly🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@neohermitess420]

God bless Emily, "What"s IQ got to do with it?" Also Emily "I don't understand why he does this." MISS MAAM 😭😭😭

[@frozenpeas]

God those social workers have patience beyond belief. If Matthew walked in to a meeting like that, I'd say "well youve just proved you can't look after a child, case closed, meeting dismissed" and then to Emily "do you realise you'd have your child if you left that, but it's your choice"

[@natasjacooks]

A 40 year old drunk, messed up the life of a 18 yr young girl and their baby... The baby is adopted now and hopefully she will have a good life and Emily as well

[@SinFinkleflor]

the age gap between Emily and Matthew is fucken scary.

[@roflpill]

I wonder whether they've taken that gap into consideration when they took the daughter away. Seems like the only responsible thing to do

[@pinkpugginz]

He was clearly SA her before she was an adult too.

[@A.J.8.8.8]

Saying goodbye to your child for the last time... I can not even imagine the pain 😞 absolutely excruciating to watch. I hope these babies are thriving and the mothers have found healing.

[@KimberlyAgar]

I been there and done that many many years ago and just follow the rules and do what you are told, don't argue just do your job and proof you can do it!! Don't give up and stay focus for your child and don't blow it!!!

[@DaniellaPlus3]

10000% correct you are !!!! I was very young when I had my first son 15 and I had come very close to losing my baby for poor choices !! I did everything they wanted and showed them I could be a good mama !! ❤if you want that baby if you love that baby you will do what it takes to!! Much love from Canada

[@sylviekins]

@@DaniellaPlus3bless you, it sounds like there were hard times, so glad things turned around 🙏

[@uncensoredangel7741]

40 with an 18 yr old yeah 😅

[@tiawarren5403]

Disgusting

[@Red_1976]

She’s got no self esteem and obviously is reliant on him thinking he is the only option.

[@br_kacha2852]

my mother beat me and starved me, i called police, they called social workers, they literally went ''okay she has a room, a bed, clothes and fridge has food'' and left me there, in the end i was raped and had to endure being choked the lights out by mothers husband(stepdad) and nothing was done, she denied it happening, he denied and i was made into lying kid who was ''spoiled and clearly had it too good in life'' when i asked my mother why she didnt do anything she blammed my aunts relationship status as why allowed him to do it infront of her. I broke down and my finace saw it and he knew that i might punch my mother for saying thats the reason, but i just got into her face and said ''dont you dare blame ppl who werent there'' and walked up to my aunt and asked for her to driive me away from that house. My family didnt know that i wasnt lying since they were told that im lying for attention and they believed them till i kept on saying it more and more and when ran away, now they all believe me and dont want them anywhere near anyone. I wwas left at a rapist who beat me household where i was starved and literally abused by only having a room and fridge with food which i wasnt allowed to touch, my only meal was school lunch. im so happy to see these kids getting taken away right away

[@vanessalewis1023]

My mother sold me when i was 14 to a 30 year old man. Mothers can be the most evil creatures that ever breathed.

[@tiawarren5403]

Yep! There's a reason !

[@trextor23]

Sorry you had to go through that

[@attitudeproblem6462]

So sorry that happened to you. Hope you're healing.❤❤❤

[@janakozelska8760]

Hope you are in a better place and healing. Whisking you all the very best!

[@veerahmbles]

Bro's more concerned about his daughter's bowl being smashed than he is his own daughter.

[@fleurosea]

There’s obviously something wrong with him, but at a certain point people are past being helped and others need to be protected from them.

[@user-xs3lc4ky4h]

And the 18 year old in an abusive situation with a what looks like a piece of garbage in his 30s, yes the kid needs to be removed for rn but the mother is barely an adult herself! Dear Lord that poor girl! She needs help too!

[@AnayhiasMimi]

😢😢😢 i cant imagine such love Emily showed to make sure her daughter had a good life😢😢😢😢😢

[@katherinekuefler-kappel2328]

I've known a few mothers who have had their children removed because of their partners. I understand wanting to stand by your man, but when it comes to your child, you need to always put them before a relationship. If you aren't with that person, you take away the reason for your child to be removed. Do what you need to do to keep your child in your care. You will both be better for it.

[@melissachatwin9673]

maybe some mothers know that when the abuser gets visits there will be no one to protect the child and know what could happen if they leave. There has been people who have left violent partners, and the ex-won't leave them alone, make up false allegations or just take steps to completely destroy their lives and cps still treats the abused woman like a criminal and takes the child even though everything is out of her control and she's left the abuser

[@katherinekuefler-kappel2328]

@@melissachatwin9673 I get what you're saying, but I don't think these women are giving their children up to protect them. I think they are in denial and are choosing to stick by their man rather than choosing their children.

[@sapphirology]

Matthew is UNHINGED. 16:45

[@redqueen7761]

From one social worker to another, thank you!

[@Trogdor1365]

Why are they keeping Emily away from her baby? She's not abusive. She IS abused. They need to put a restraining order on him and keep him away from Emily and her baby.

[@tiawarren5403]

She lost 4 boys b4 this her 5th kid, there is a good reason they took the kids

[@Trogdor1365]

@@tiawarren5403 i think you've mixed up the mom. Emily is the 18 year old. She hasn't had any other kids.

[@angmoulton8528]

Sadly this seems to happen a lot even in the US I almost lost my daughter when she was 2 because we had no where to go but our apartment we were sharing with her dad he was using I did everything to maintain her safety luckily the day dcyf came his parents let her and I come stay I immediately left just an hour after them coming 😢 one of the hardest times of my life she's 8 now and wants more than anything for her dad to grow up and live for what's best for her. Breaks my heart my dad never stopped using and he died of cancer at 51 I never got to fully really know him. So watching my daughter struggle with this is unbearable for both of us ❤

[@twinning1944]

I used to work in child care (as a lawyer for parents in these situations). The issue is that Emily is exposing her daughter to DV and abuse. The view of the courts is that if mum can’t step away and protect herself and baby then social services step in.

[@marissabuoncora1608]

@@twinning1944 what can a parent do to get out of that situation if they feel like they’re being trapped/mentally messed with? Genuinely asking, not in a rude way.

[@kailynpeace8249]

As a former foster child and dv survivor I choose my child. I wish my mother would have chosen us. You can be the change

[@Trogdor1365]

The UK is much stricter and on top of things than the US. Our government has sold out families to billion dollar corporations instead of running public welfare themselves. These private "contractors" prioritize their earning (which is a forgone conclusion as they are private BUSINESSES) and child abuse is ignored. The government representatives who decide to contract out public welfare jobs are really siphoning billions in taxpayer money to their wealthy donors, who then turn around and donate millions to their campaigns. Same thing with privately run prisons, privately run healthcare, etc. Capitalism.

[@melissachatwin9673]

CPS worldwide are an absolute disgrace and do a disservice to children and their families

[@crusathekoala]

Im a mom. I was in an abusive relationship with my childs DNA donor. I ran with my child when she was a couples old. Had to wait until he was inebriated enough until i could pack up and leave. My child is my life. My ex is now a revolving door in prison. I would'nt change my past. But im raising my child to be brave and not to take anything from a partner never. I will always have my childs back. This poor girl (emily) needed help she was stuck in a cycle and thought that Mathew was love when he definitely wasnt. I hope she got away

[@DaniellaPlus3]

They should put a protective intervention order in place against Mathew and the baby’s mother that is what worked for me it kept my baby with me but kept me away from the problem and allowed me to care for my baby however for a while I did have to live in a young mom home but still got to keep my baby ❤❤❤and I love my kiddos soooo much I would do anything for them ! There is no MAN or person in this whole world that I would choose over my babies not EVER !

[@angmoulton8528]

That's amazing that it was available!!! So happy for you. I would hope there would be more opportunities for young moms especially stuck in a bad situation with a bad person ❤

[@lanegirl7826]

I think the problem here is that Emily isn’t choosing her baby over her abuser. I too, believe my kids come first no matter what, but when all you’ve known is abuse growing up, it’s hard to believe that things can be different, or that you can do things on your own.

[@DaniellaPlus3]

@@lanegirl7826 yes very true however all I did was grow up with abuse from my mother to every partner I’ve had and once again that’s all I’ve ever seen or known my whole life but I chose my kids and I chose not to repeat history ❤️❤️

[@cheh1311]

@@lanegirl7826 Exactly, aslong as she is not choosing to stay away from him nobody can help her. It's very sad, I hope Emily and the baby are ok now.

[@melissachatwin9673]

@@cheh1311 and yet even when the victim does, she's punished for that too

[@arianal1840]

Nichola is high out of her mind. She showed up late and is homeless. I need people to start looking in the mirror. It pisses me off that people claim the government comes after their kids and its them making bad decisions.

[@MelissaPfeiffer-t4p]

The reason Matthew and Emily don’t have their baby in their custody is solely due to Matthew. Emily needs to get out of that relationship

[@Maleeha16378]

Emily is unable to stand up for herself let alone for a child. She is very vulnerable and unable to even know what’s best for herself so she can’t even possible be the strong mother that can protect a child. She needs an awakening and I hope this provides her that. Sometimes victims of DV are also very hard to understand and helping them is near impossible.

[@trextor23]

My heart when she missed saying goodbye to him

[@OFFICIALBORBIE]

My heart is with that baby, but also with Emily. You can see it, in his face, he’s a horrible controlling person. I feel for her, I hope she can find a way to give herself the love she needs so she can be with her baby.

[@AbraMacabreXx]

How anyone would think matthew should b around another person, let alone a baby, is beyond me.

[@janakozelska8760]

These people should not have children. Living in social housing most likely on benefits, blaming everybody else, no sense of responsibility, no accountability for their actions and behavior, not even talking about taking care of someone 24/7. They cannot take care of themselves. So many cases of abused kids - these adults were most likely growing up in abusive households themselves. It’s never ending circle. Very sad.

[@CotyWilliams-j2k]

Social housing and needing assistance is none of your business and shouldn't be used in your little "point" poverty isn't the issue abuse is

[@melissachatwin9673]

and the foster system is rife with abuse you realise? and you have no idea how being placed in the foster system sets a child behind, with a higher percentage of being criminalised, disadvantaged and unable to build relationships that are meaningful. Then there's the trauma and how that affects the brain at such a young age

[@lydienardon729]

It is so different in France : we do all we can to keep parents and children together by helping the parents. Sometimes children can be removed for a short period and send to a children facility or a foster family. The final goal is to keep the social links between the family and the children the siblings. We all need a family to thrive. The best is to help the family to grow together ! Of course psychiatric and housing is help all states should be able to offer to vulnerable parents to help them become better parents and citizen !

[@vanessalewis1023]

Yes! Exactly.

[@pce12345]

France more civilized

[@autism_momma_LosAngeles]

We do that too in the US. Of course its an imperfect process but ultimate the first choice is the birth parents and its rare they dont give the parents a chance first.

[@jenpatrick5633]

​@@autism_momma_LosAngeles But the U.S. does not have strong safety nets or good accessible mental health care to facilitate that.

[@autism_momma_LosAngeles]

@@jenpatrick5633 yup. i agree

[@naomimoran5564]

Wouldn't matter how much i loved my partner if i had to choose between them or my child i would choose my child every time

[@melissachatwin9673]

so easy to say when you're not in the situation of being abused

[@naomimoran5564]

@melissachatwin9673 I have been and I have been in thr situation where child protection said it's him or your kids I chose my kids

[@melissachatwin9673]

@@naomimoran5564 and that's you, not everyone's experience.

[@EIizabethGrace]

@@melissachatwin9673 Tbh, no one said it was anyone else’s experience? Clearly, plenty of people have a different one. I also struggle to come up with anything that could lead me to prioritize some abusive pos over any child, let alone my own for whom I’m solely responsible. I don’t think saying that inherently denies anyone else’s experience.

[@jeannerountree952]

I hope that Emily left Matthew!

[@rebekahwestwood]

Mathew looks like a danger to society 😳 his behaviour and attitude is gross

[@mmay6621]

Poor Emily. Run girl. Run as fast as you can and don’t look back. I wish you well.

[@cucur8TAC]

100 000 kids placed per year!! There must be a problem somewhere…

[@sylviekins]

Yep.

[@pce12345]

Pattern of parental dysfunction. Not enough social support

[@janakozelska8760]

Yes the whole social system in Uk - how many people live in social housing, not working ably taking benefits - no responsibility, nor accountability, blaming others. On the other hand how many children are abused and eventually killed in these type of households?

[@AprilFriday-de6vm]

In the US, it’s 95% drugs/alcohol, abuse, or selfishness. Sadly this dude is the poster child for all of them. No emotional control, no responsibility, just pure bullying. He acts like a junior high student who has to be sent to reform school.

[@hwas_star]

bruh whats matthews problem he needs to be in jail fr

[@neohermitess420]

Ill bet he came from a family with an angry/alcoholic father who did bad at school and was mean to the mom. A man with a chip om his shoulder who resented any system he didnt succeed in, yet insisted he was superior. Entitled dads create entitled sons.

[@lenaannis8787]

What a difficult job these ladies have!!!

[@jadewilson9018]

This is horrifying. The policy should be immediately offering a mum in a dv situation support to get out with her children. Policy needs to change. She's a victim foremostly. There is a book called "Batterer as parent" which examines this issue and should be used as a bible by social services and family law policy makers case managers etc

[@motleymama6587]

Why are these parents having more children so soon after losing older ones? They should get their acts together and practice birth control for awhile. There are a lot of parents in the US that shouldn’t have custody of their children.

[@janoraj4667]

If they were able to make such sane decisions they would nit be where they are

[@pinkpugginz]

I think they need to offer free vasectomies worldwide if a man has multiple children by different women he should just get automatically neutered 😂

[@melissachatwin9673]

it's called grief

[@kaarstad2012]

I believe that they should have helped Emily get away from her abusive boyfriend and get a job and be self sufficient and gave her back her daughter. I don't believe these social workers try hard enough to truly help, it's like they are friends and see these other families as better so their just taking babies they know they can and doing nothing to help the ones who can either eventuality take care of their children or never really got the chance to try......I feel so bad for Emily bc she deserved to be a mom and have her daughter back......

[@Ebrie0903]

Emily needs to want it for herself. They can easily give the baby back, and then what? She goes right back to Matthew and he harms both of them. Emily needs to stand up for herself, the social workers are probably ready to help, but she probably is in fear. She needs be fed up over his actions. Her anger needs to outweigh her fear.

[@brendasnow8255]

At least in the U.S., social workers don’t take away children without a court order. To get a judge to order it, they have to present the case that it’s in the best interest of the children. If it’s an emergency, they still need an emergency order. It’s true that some people have child after child removed from their care.

[@ulaula7274]

What? She is addicted to drugs, alcohol etc and because of this, she lost 5 children. Social workers are not saviours.

[@cheh1311]

@@ulaula7274 That is the other mom, Emily is the 18 year old.

[@Elliebelle87]

Children removed from the mother at the hospital is almost exclusively as a result of the child testing positive for drugs. She also has never had a job, won't leave her abuser and I would imagine probably has a history of being abused herself by her demeanor and behavior. Loving your child and wanting to be a good parent is not the same as trying. And I think she knows that about herself and about the life path she is on. In a perfect world she will use this situation to do better for herself while her child is safe and the cycle of abuse can be stopped. It's absolutely sad, but I feel like she did what she thought was best, which is what a true mom does. Just my opinion

[@oc2538]

20:07 it's so sad but if you are a drug addict it is understandable why you won't get your baby. She doesn't deserve the baby if she's clearly still on drugs.

[@jaclynm7122]

I will never comprehend choosing a partner over a child.

[@melissachatwin9673]

and you could never comprehend living in this sort of situation. So what do you do when you leave, and the abuser gets custody or visitation of the child? Who protects them then? You prepared to lose your life to leave? Then who has the child got? It's so much more complicated than saying she "chose" the partner over the child.

[@trextor23]

If after loosing your 4 children you still decide to be lazy and blame everyone else except yourself than tou don't deserve to care for a little child.

[@KimberlyAgar]

He is not good fit for the child cus he has bad temper and don't allow him near the child and he seems to be crazy and mentally

[@ameliafatface7995]

These poor little babies - they didn’t choose to be born into this 😢

[@BeatleWolfgangAR]

No one ever chose.

[@ClareCoppleman]

Things happen for a reason​@@BeatleWolfgangAR

[@Anna81Louise]

New babies need care 24/7. A parent on drugs or heavily using alcohol can not provide this care. New babies test the patience of a saint. They can not be in the care of angry and violent people. As sad as it is watching these parents lose their children, the children must come first.

[@vanessalewis1023]

"Hopefully" we'll get her back?! That is your child, blood of your blood, flesh of your flesh, your heart, your whole wide world in a tiny little being.

[@magscat3161]

My heart breaks for Emily. I choked up when she said "it's not about me, it's about what's best for her". I hope she has gotten shed of that disgusting man baby, Mathew. I hope she can find peace and safety. ❤ Sending you love and well wishes Emily.

[@MissNikkiDawson]

We need updates on these people.

[@HalfCrazy73]

Any woman chosing a man over their child has proven to be an unfit mother.

[@joyousbloom731]

Goes both ways. Anyone choosing a partner over their children are unfit parents.

[@melissachatwin9673]

who said she chose him over the child?

[@PandoraBear357]

​@@melissachatwin9673 her still being with him shows she chose him over her daughter.

[@DaniellaPlus3]

Trust me now that I’m older and have grown the frick up I now understand okay they don’t want that child baby around abuse and screaming all time they don’t want that baby to be around Matthew or anyone who acts that way around a baby it’s scary for the child it’s not fair seeing their mama be abused or however !!! If MATHEW WOULD JUST SHUT THE HELL UP she would probably get that baby back 😢😢

[@jcymngo]

A) he can't control his emotions B) he isn't so stupid as to know how he should act he doesn't want Emily's attention away from him Pure sabotage. Immature and narcissistic man baby

[@feliciaw4710]

Heartbreaking. Matthew's partner should have left him and brought her baby home to family. I couldn't imagine not having my babies. I hope these individuals as well as the many others going through this situation find themselves with their beautiful children. ❤

[@minirett]

I doubt Emily has any supportive family, which is probably why she finds herself in such a sad situation. She probably stays with this horrible, abusive man because she feels she has no other choice - nowhere else to go & nobody to support her 😢

[@feliciaw4710]

@@minirett That's what I feared 😪

[@melissajohnson3308]

Why wouldn't Emily leave Matthew? I'm sure if she left him she could have her child. It frustrated me that they didn't offer her more support to get away from him!

[@zoep.2891]

It's not fair? The state has to protect children from incapable parents.

[@spencerallegra]

If I could like this comment 100 times I would.

[@michellehayter2131]

Holy costanza Matthew is dangerous af. He should NEVER be allowed to be alone with any children. Emily... LEAVE HIM.

[@hansendesigns]

If you’re a parent and you’re so familiar with the system to call it an “EPO” you’ve got bigger problems.

[@livilivinglife]

I was in foster care from 6 to 18. I will always take care of my babies

[@janiceevans6980]

Mathew can't control himself in front of authorities sober. Imagine him with alcohol at home. He's hopeless. Emily still has a chance if she can get the hell away from him

[@crazymusicchick]

Wow in the uk adoption is rather quick in Australia we foster alot longer. My Nana and pop fostered a boy in the uk when my dad was little before they moved to Australia, my dad found him on Facebook and saw him when he went over to the uk

[@marniejane88]

Wait, thats her partner!!? He looks old enough to be her father..

[@pinkpugginz]

Shes barely 18 hes 40+

[@person4451]

Wow they are real quick on adopting over there huh?

[@EIizabethGrace]

Chances are this is the last stage of a _really_ long journey. Idk of a single government that doesn’t spend ages near-obsessively prioritizing family unity and reconciliation even in situations where it’s clearly not in the child’s best interest. Things like this generally take a long time and only happen if state officials confirm the situation is severe and the parents are wholly, consistently, and gravely uncooperative.

[@sunnyday4055]

@@EIizabethGrace Bull crap. It’s legal child trafficking and you know it

[@catherinethemba]

Babies need to bond really early with whoever will bring them up else they will never bond with anyone.

[@PandoraBear357]

They didn't contest it.

[@casandrakelsey6702]

That poor 18 year old girl had an angry man control her to the point her baby is taken....bro cringe hope she left him

[@barbaraleonard8379]

I wish here in the USA there was this much thought in a child's life. To many times it is just the child is better in their own family . Then you see on the news where that family killed the child or each other .

[@LouiseMarie901]

My heart breaks for Emily 💔