What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Part 6 of our Mental Health and Complex Trauma series.
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[@missheather4487]

My kids had two names for me Mama Bear....Psycho mum !!!! After 5 years therapy with a sexual psychologist..15 years of AA..a lot of hard work with a lot of love including a relationship with a power greater than me...its almost all mama Bear today ,one day at a time ..a miracle for me tg...never give up please Blessings to all 💜

[@ScoutGrey]

Peace be with you Mama Bear

[@robertafierro5592]

Long live Mama Bear!

[@ocpd23]

5:31 BPD deeper shame than CPTSD - feel empty - highly self critical about previous mistakes, will beat themselves up - abusive relationships feel deserved - try to prove they are better than everyone else to compensate - unstable self: self image will shift from positive to low, hobbies/interests shift day to day 8:40 Emotional World - quick, drastic mood swings (anxiety, fear, anger/irritibility, depression) - anger gets triggered, difficult to control, causes acting out verbally/physically - self hatred because of previous acting out - total loss of normal empathy/conscience when triggered - self becomes center of universe - stress causes freeze response when overwhelmed, shut down, cannot handle responsibilities - obsessing about bad things they have done in the past - fear of change, uncertainty, failure, loss of control because it will result in abandonment. So change itself becomes trigger. - once triggered, can lose all hope causing very negative state of hopelessness 13:55 Behavior - impulsive and self destructive: sex, spending, addiction, reckless driving - what punishes me without destroying me, if it does, who cares - can self harm including suicide: low self esteem = dont deserve good life, instead deserve to be punished - other side of this is strict control environment/other people so they don't abandon them 16:39 Unstable relationships - love equals intensity, need for intensity causes conflict, sabotage - jealousy of others because of threat of abandonment - no trust because fear abandonment - test them by push/pull emotionally to test abandonment - idealization with need to have them close - cautious with new people and interpret bad things to stay distant - no trust if someone is kind 25:23 Bonus round: Other triggers - disrespect - rejection (possibly projected rejection) - unfairness - not heard - being judged - failure: not doing something perfectly - abandonment

[@visualapologetics4891]

Awesone! Thanks!

[@aml8760]

Thank you 🙏

[@Crazydoglady.]

My God he's BRILLIANT.

[@AllIn1Studio]

He is absolutely brilliant!! What a blessing to us all. The work, the research, the thoroughness, the dedication. Exceptional human being. Humble and generous.

[@yourenough3]

This man explains this in such a way that makes it so easy to understand. Ive watched numerous videos and read numerous books ( not all on borderline. Lots on cluster b personalities disorders . ) and he give such great examples of behaviors that really helps make this easier to understand.

[@teresabatel5051]

The best teaching on Borderline PD I have ever heard.

[@martingd777]

Ever watched Dr Daniel Fox here on YT? One of THE best, most empathetic and informed on BPD. And he has a very fun tick of his own. 100% solid man.

[@trudystain6870]

out of all the videos i watch on these topics tim fletcher is the best speaker. recently diagnosed BPD and the part where it nees to be accepted that im more wounded than others has changed my world the last week! i wish i could figure out what career path to take now. I cant commit or stay with anything it seems. that is probably the part where i truly asses and begin to learn about myself honestly maybe...id love it if you could cover that topic of how to go about getting a stable self. i get so mad at myself for flip flopping constantly. its become an area of apathy and depression.

[@Joel-uv5tg]

He has left out engulfment anxiety. Borderlines push people when things are going well (self sabotage). So destructive and self destructive behaviours can happen in response to fear of abandonment or because they feel they've merged with their loved ones.

[@teemadarif8243]

Exactly

[@teemadarif8243]

Once it's triggered they become iced over . From empathy to numb from being triggered. They don't even know you at that movement or for how ever long it takes to thaw out.

[@mohacs1000]

As someone who has BPD I found this very interesting and informative. Thanks for posting the video.

[@joycethompson7179]

Thank you for this information. It describes my life. I started searching for answers for why I’m so angry, reactive, and why all of my relationships (family and friends) have fallen apart. I found information about BPD. At 64 years old, I’m certain I’m BPD. Tim’s description of BPD is excellent information.

[@AllIn1Studio]

Join the club, I’m 68 and have had my entire life’s difficulties explained by Tim by now having clarity of why I behaved the incomprehensible ways that I did. A great human being and blessing to us all

[@angelamossucco2190]

The tone changes The eyes change The words are cruel It is a hellish behavior

[@Joel-uv5tg]

Yes, this is releasing the inner psychopath

[@AA-iy4gm]

stop spreading hateful lies, it only says a lot about you, they have emotional dysregulation, they are not psychopaths, you obviously dont even know the definition of a psychopath or someone that actually is a literal psychopath. That is so insensitive and mean to take your personal anger or ignorance out on people with a mental condition that isn't as extreme as you try to make it out to be.

[@martingd777]

I tried to point this out to my person(s). The glazed eyes, change in tone, the complete 180 of character… this it what makes us want to unalive ourselves.

[@lynns8057]

OMG, I can relate. And, yes - empathy is very strong. BPD people are extremely sensitive, as well. Fantastic talk. Thank you.....you have given me hope.❤

[@Spirituallove2000AD]

I AM BOARDERLINE ! I'm recovered but it's a total commitment everyday and I will never get into a relationship again but I have 3 teenage kids and it's been savage I've taken 140 Tylenol and I'm still here believe me it's an everyday commitment to the DBT skills thank God for Marsha Linehan

[@mariacliment2767]

Sorry to ask, why wouldnt you get into another relationship again??

[@ScoutGrey]

Peace be with you. Thank you for sharing your story

[@pebetsemaepa5454]

Sorry to bother, also trying to make sense of why you don't want to get into a relationship?

[@Spirituallove2000AD]

@@pebetsemaepa5454 Boarderline is fear of abandonment

[@Spirituallove2000AD]

@@pebetsemaepa5454 read the next comment comments underneath for more info

[@shelleyblondeau2205]

Content: A+! Sound: ...eh...C- for echo. Any chance of a sound upgrade? :)

[@anonymousprivate6814]

Really good explanation of BPD. I got diagnosed 30 years ago and am also autistic. I am learning of the similarities and differences between BPD and Autism.

[@marjol3in]

Me too. And adhd

[@Kristen10-22]

I turn anger inward not all bpd people rage outward

[@martingd777]

Quiet BPD. I have quiet, have raged exactly 4x over betrayal, infidelity or severe injustice when the most highly disregulated and some alcohol (amygdala GONE)

[@Stargirltj]

:'( I had to cry with your explainations.. Because it's really said very well how I feeling and going through things with my bpd.

[@lawrencedavis5459]

I had severe childhood trauma and developed bdp in my 20s. I used trauma release exercises towork on my stuff. It works. Please look into TRE.

[@ashleighthomas3176]

🤯 Never laughed and nodded in agreement more about my mental illnesses than I have during this particular topic

[@mariacasabona4847]

The person that reveal to me about my abandonment issues was the Holy Spirit. He said: "your dad abandoned you". When I asked Him why I was so angry He said that I had "deep roots of abandonment". I been on a healing journey since I got save with His help. I can identify with the borderline and even with some of the narcissistic descriptions you have given. I am grateful to God for the healing He has done in my life and the way He has done it and for the people He has used for my healing. I personally don't like labels and I ask you to consider not to use labels. I was label all kinds of of things as a child by my family. Labels to me mean no hope and I want to believe that if you really wan't to change that there is hope!

[@mknels1299]

It's devoid of meaning if u look at it differently, it's just a word, detach and love yourself,ignore others labels, it's their stuff not yours

[@HollyMacNaughton]

If there are voices talking to you, that's not Borderline Personality Disorder.

[@HollyMacNaughton]

I can tell you have never actually been diagnosed by a doctor, you are watching this video and self diagnosing and that doesn't mean you have borderline. You're also hearing voices. You need to see a real doctor and get an actual diagnosis for the voices you are hearing, you don't have Borderline.

[@HollyMacNaughton]

You have to put the effort in to reform your thoughts and beliefs yourself through cognitive therapy and relentless effort, God will.not magically make your problems go away when the only effort you put in is watching youtube and leaving comments to get attention with your fake self diagnosis. Stop it. Get some help. You clearly have something severely wrong with you mentally, but it isn't Borderline.

[@claire4735]

Thank you. Best description ever. God Bless you sir.

[@Happy-Me.]

Excellent video. It's like he's narrating the 2 rollercoaster years of drama and chaos I had with my BPD ex! Sadly the healing is long and drawn out and can only be successful if you are willing to accept you have a problem which for BPD sufferers is difficult because of trust issues and a victim mentality! Very much on point. I wish I had found this information sooner!

[@mknels1299]

Illness,not bad people getting good, but well

[@martingd777]

Ive watched probably 300hrs of Tim’s lectures on CPTSD, which I have, and have spent 6 months researching the living daylights out of BPD, which I have. I also have PISD. The laughing in this particular lecture is gut wrenching. Tim always has a quip here and there to break the ice but considering that BPD has the highest attempt and success rate of suicide might stifle those laughs. I actually felt hurt and yet empathetic to the crowd. 2023 and some of this year has been some of the hardest and darkest of my life, I have never considered suicide more in my 46yrs of non stop trauma, abuse, abandonment, injustices and betrayal. Just a thought. It is the most excruciating and complex personality disorder there is. Being heartbroken and stabbed in the back repeatedly. Doing the Jekyl and Hyde and regretting with every cell in your body the things you could never have fathomed to say to someone.. or scream. Or write. And then lose the best things, places and people you once and probably still thanked god for with every breath. ✨😔♥️

[@AiGenerationMagic]

Great talk, thank you.

[@nitindadar7933]

Thank you Mr. Fletcher 💚

[@CMoore8539]

Excellent Teaching.♥️

[@yourenough3]

Great talk.

[@suekelsey1329]

Thank you

[@kaygenio2129]

It sounds like "Borderline" has at it's border a little of all the personality disorders. I feel that way when I listen to Tim's explanation of the different disorders. BUT.....I am grateful for these explanations because if you don't know, you can't correct it---or attempt to correct it. Thank you, Tim.

[@gloriatucker9796]

My husband after 12 years of a wonderful marriage over a fight has served me with divorce papers, acting so cruel, nothing like himself. Can he wake up from this state before we burn our retirement on legal fees?

[@ts3858]

Audio is bad....reverberates 🙏

[@bethocdunwitty6641]

I disagree and think you do a disservice to Borderlines by stating that this is a problem with only INTIMATE relationships. I've been diagnosed with Borderline accurately and it affects people I want to make friends with as well as bosses and co-workers. I wanted to use this video to educate others but because you stated that limitation, I won't be able to now. Stop generalizing inaccurately please. All borderlines are NOT alike. There are 4 different types. There is the Disouraged type, the Impulsive type, the Petulant type, and the self-destructive type. Please clarify for your audience.

[@user-bn2st5kx8h]

Oh thank you..I was wondering bcoz I never blow up but shift to apathy discouragement and some self punishment

[@HollyMacNaughton]

I have borderline, probably way harder than you, and you are wrong and stupid. How's that?

[@agirlisnoone5953]

You realize KZbin docs are not your treating physicians? If something resonates with you that your concerned about, you talk to your professional, you don't diagnose yourself. Also, he talks about apathy plenty.

[@gloriatucker9796]

My heart breaks for my husband. He was triggered and went to a dark place.

[@user-bn2st5kx8h]

When i get trigered i go full blown apathy .first its freeze and cant take decisions then progresses to imobility and eventually used to be looking at the ceiling ..i never blow up

[@joeostrosky8137]

Very good subject very poor recording

[@sethfoster7603]

Would probably be a good talk but just sounds like hes shouting his words and makes it difficult to listen to

[@stephere5345]

Wow. I learned today that I’m borderline 😕

[@simplypositiveme]

This this this this thissssss!

[@russgrimes5531]

Damn, yesterday I learned I appear to be a covert narcissist. Today I’m learning I’m probably also borderline 😂😭

[@yzzy1966]

First i thought i am a covert narcissist. Later it came put, no i have BPD. 😅 BPD have intense manipulation skills, also can seem like narcissism because of the self consumed acting. One of the key opponent is why are you acting out of control. If its from the fear pf abandonment, you probably BPD. If you fear your self image, and that you need someone to support your who adore you, but you not feel intense fear of losing that person in a way, you cant kiss, touch their again, you probably have narcissism. Also bpd usually have suicidal or self harming acting outs, if not, at least suicidal thoughts are pretty common. Its not that common in narcissism, but can occur. Living with narcissism can be hell of a ride, so yeah i can belive and know people who killed themself, and I was pretty sure they had overt narcissism. Also its rare that a narcissist thinks that there is a problem with them. But, there can be cases where bpd and especially covert narcissist traits and equipments can mix. Bro thats a deadly one, my mother had that, jez, she was complete delusional about herself, also she could act like a devil. I have no doubts she had ctpsd as well, she has a brutal childhood and life, and shes personality disorder was an extreme reactions to her extreme struggles. So sad. I think she never realized she had some kind of problem. ☹️

[@martingd777]

Cluster B. Everyone has Narcissistic tendencies… but the smallest percentile of the population actually has NPD. BPD can come across as Narcissistic bc of the manipulative tendencies and the neediness which is extreme, and then the reassurance we require to regulate when we sense abandonment or shadiness… as a multiple experiencer of infidelity this is my weakest point that triggers me badly.

[@michelepatrick]

And your Qualifications ARE????

[@AiCash-mc8fb]

Can the crowd get settled already?? Sounds more like a daycare in there than a mental health seminar.

[@leahflower9924]

Ugh I hear the kid more now it's like taking your kid to see Schindler's List or some serious movie

[@kingdomthings9887]

Saying that most addicts have BPD is inaccurate, and wrong. But, there is some good info in this video, if you weed out the false assumptions.

[@ocpd23]

He also says the same thing about CPTSD, so it appears to be a selling technique for him, a way to reach his audience. It is true, however, that a lot of addicts come from a traumatic childhood. Just not all of them have BPD.

[@yzzy1966]

For me Bessel Van Der Kolk work is enough to think that CTPSD can run out into BPD. He says if you cant understand trauma, dont try to treat a BPD. he says 80%ish of the BPD have CTPSD. I think Tim wasnt that wrong, but yeah not that accurate. Still i think addiction, bpd, and ctpsd are in hand in hand a lot of time. But i saw alcoholist with npd. Boy thats a hard one. 😅

[@HollyMacNaughton]

PLEASE FIX THE AUDIO PLEASE!!!

[@AiCash-mc8fb]

Last thing I wanted to hear during a mental health session to help me is a whiny toddler.... If you don't have child care dont attend events like this and ruin it for everyone else!

[@leahflower9924]

At least he's not doing an acoustic set lol I can't stand when people make a lot of noise during acoustic music

[@martingd777]

The laughter hurt.. the extremity of BPD is not a joke to us or the loved and cherished ones we lash at and then lose. 1 out of 7 of us is successful in leaving the earth early…

[@kadieking5717]

Child making noise is very distracting

[@johnpaterson7774]

Audio too poor for this old guy 😢

[@ambiencelectronica]

ADHD and autism won’t allow ears to hear this shouting from a bathroom sound with a broken mic and horrific audio 😂

[@Kristen10-22]

U grow up in constant terror literally

[@BLUZ133]

I usually love these videos, but this is inaccurate, alienating, and demonizing. Why state that you have an issue with the stigma surrounding BPD and then reinforce and embellish it by conveying that these worst possible behaviors are standard ones for people with BPD?