What is Confidence? No one gets this (NLP Masterclass)

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This channel is about giving you the understanding, mindsets, tools, processes and techniques of mastering your life so you can take charge and live the life of your desires and values.
NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming has created an incredible foundation for me in my pursuit of mastering my life, which is why I teach it in my self improvement trainings and apply it when I do life coaching or help people with their businesses. NLP is a powerful model that will help you accelerate your results.
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Damon Cart
Coach and Teacher
Santa Cruz, CA
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[@ronjaenisch4613]

I feel confident that you are competent Damon.

[@DamonCart]

Thank you.

[@angelnieves-ch7kn]

21:41 You don’t need confidence, you just need determination 25:07 Be confident, that you have the competence to Learn 28:14 Focus on learning, I have been learning my whole life, As long as I am determined, confidence will come. Engage in action to move towards that. Stop comparing yourself to others.

[@nicolesavioz6601]

Thank you, great explanations, and helps me understand why certain NLP techniques don't last.

[@DamonCart]

Change doesn't last when there's internal resistance that has not been addressed and integrated.

[@weekuok97]

Damon, thanks for the explaination. What you're saying Real Confidence needs to build upon Real Competent. Am I right to say, while most of us think "lack of confidence" as the reason of making us unable to proceed, in fact what is really making us unable to proceed is actually "fear of embarrassment", "fear of making mistakes", "fear of judgement", "fear of......."?

[@DamonCart]

You are correct.

[@weekuok97]

@@DamonCart There’s seem to be no easy way to overcome these fears other than confronting them with a “just do it!” attitude?

[@DamonCart]

@@weekuok97 you could do it that way. It's better than doing nothing. But that's not what I recommend nor what I said. To do it the way you're saying you would probably have to use discipline and will power to push through your resistance to do it. I would recommend getting clear about what you want by doing what it is you want to try by eliciting your values. Then check if there's any resistance to doing it. Sometimes just having more clarity about what you want eliminates the resistance. If there is resistance, satisfy the positive intention of the resistance by integrating it into the outcome you want. Also, take on mindset of curiosity about what the outcome will be when you go for it rather than telling yourself that you "must" do it or that you "have" to. Don't look for the easy way. Look for the efficient way. Something is only difficult when you don't know how to do it. The only way to learn how to do something is to do it. Put your focus on your competence as a learner rather than focusing on having confidence for a competence you have not yet cultivated.

[@maxisvloggin]

Thanks so much!! Can you make a video about how you can apply nlp to increase iq?

[@DamonCart]

Any time you use your brain, especially for NLP techniques and processes, you are exercising your brain, which makes you more intelligent. IQ is not the only kind of intelligence we have. It just happens to be a very popular way to measure a certain kind of intelligence. One thing we know for sure is that people with a high IQ don't necessarily live more rewarding and fulfilling lives than people with a slightly above average IQ. To answer your question, I don't know of any NLP techniques that specifically increase IQ. All NLP techniques have the potential to increase your intelligence though.

[@michaelcombs5287]

I wonder how this relates to dating and attraction.

[@DamonCart]

Men come to me wanting confidence before ever approaching a woman. That's just not going to happen. The more you approach, the easier it gets. The more you will build the competence of being able to approach, the more confident you become. You also realize that even if they're not interested, it's not so bad. It might sting a little but it's not the awful tragedy that you've built up in your mind. That will add to your confidence. Even if you're visibly nervous when you approach, most women are impressed by the boldness regardless and appreciate it. The more you talk to women and the more you date, the more comfortable you will be at it. That's confidence. Is it attractive? Of course it is. The reason many women are attracted to older men is because they tend to be more settled and at ease with themselves.

[@ravindurajapaksha193]

this video english subtitles please

[@DamonCart]

They're there. Just click the button at the bottom of the screen.

[@keenpua]

I really like this video because it really reminds me of how Jeremy Miner describes confidence, with a self-concept twist. How would this tie into Ross Jeffries's concept of the 3 types of confidence? Performance confidence, rehearsal confidence, and acceptance confidence? I know that acceptance confidence isn't true confidence so we can take that one out. Ross Jeffries explaining his version of confidence: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qXTPdYZ7palkic0 Also, I would half disagree with you only because of what Chase Hughes teaches. He describes confidence as a state of composure. He teaches that there are two extremes that you can hit, which are "collapse", which is what you call self-consciousness, and composure, which would pretty much match "delusional" or "faking confidence". Having super open body language to appear more powerful, trying to speak louder than the people around you, and trying to "overcontrol" the frame would be examples of posturing. It's possible to do something I've never done before like approaching a girl, but not experience a state of collapse and stay in absolute composure. Maybe I would get that biological resistance from my reptilian brain to not approach, but I can have a very healthy "subconscious learning strategy" that brushes that resistance off and keeps me composed. Maybe the debate that comes out of this is, "Should you maintain composure when doing something you're not competent in." You can make the argument for both sides. You probably do want to be in composure when approaching a girl, because your self-consciousness may make her uncomfortable. However, it's better to have extreme self-consciousness and eventually collapse when you have no idea how to perform heart surgery on a patient. In my opinion, I think the answer is somewhere in the middle. By that, I mean that if someone adopted all the understandings and strategies of confidence up above (You, Ross, and Chase), then they would naturally be very confident, and not fake confidence.

[@DamonCart]

I'm not sure I understand what you're disagreeing with me on. Confidence is about how certain you are about something and how competent you are about something. This does not mean that we cannot attempt to do things we're not yet competent at. Waiting to have confidence before you try something is putting the cart before the horse. You have to fake confidence, which isn't going to help you. If I'm going to try something I've never done before, I can be confident that it's safe and that even if I fail, it won't kill or injure me, like approaching a woman. I can also be confident that I can learn how to get better at it so that I will become competent. Sure, you can maintain composure while doing things that you're not competent at, but I don't see what that has to do with confidence.

[@keenpua]

​@@DamonCart Okay, I understand what you're saying now because it was just a semantics issue. You define confidence as a state of certainty, and I was looking at it from a state of composure. Now I can see how those are two different things. I do have a hypothetical just to get a better understanding. If one dared a guy to approach a girl for the first time, and he approached with no hesitation and was in absolute composure, many would say "Wow, he's very confident." Is he really confident and competent in approaching women? Was it delusional confidence? Or was he in a state of composure? If he was in a state of composure, was it not confidence at all? My answer based on the semantics we set is that it depends on the place where it came from. If he had zero expectations on how the interaction would've ended up, that would be composure or "outcome independence". If he was absolutely certain that he was going to get the girl despite having no behavior observation or cold approach experience, that would be delusional confidence.

[@DamonCart]

@@keenpua we can be confident due to ignorance. We can walk into a dangerous situation and not know it's dangerous. As a result we strut around not thinking of the high odds that we can be harmed because we aren't aware of what's going on around us. Technically it's confidence, but it's a false sense of certainty about the situation. Confidence is also about competence. We become more confident about something as we become more competent at it. Trying to be confident before you're competent is faking it and will cause problems.