What To Do When An Affair Ends Abruptly - 5 Ways To Stop Living In Agony

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Marriage Helper

Marriage Helper

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 45
@MarriageHelper
@MarriageHelper 2 жыл бұрын
Learn more about Limerence by downloading our Free E-book: your.marriagehelper.com/understanding-limerence-ebook-sign-up We hope it helps. 🖤
@betsyg3304
@betsyg3304 2 жыл бұрын
Like the wife that was abandoned for the lover. She knows how it feels. It should teach you the pain the wife and kids went through, they feel it for longer than the person's who inflicted it.
@BAMshazam
@BAMshazam Жыл бұрын
So you got the super unpleasant grieve from the break up. So you got to feel like you made your wife (and children) feel when you left her. What goes around comes around.
@Samanthawaltonwackford
@Samanthawaltonwackford Жыл бұрын
…then it’s safe to say that the decision to return to the spouse that was cheated on was a choice to “settle” for the person you didn’t want because the person you did want did not want you? I can’t see how that could be a genuine decision… and what if the lover didn’t terminate the affair?? I’m sure returning to that wife and kids wouldn’t have been an option; I’m sure that wife and kids would be even more devastated, hurt, and damaged. How does one forgive the thought of that and move forward with that cheating spouse trusting that the decision to return and reconcile is genuine? How can one trust that choosing that lover, or some other lover for that matter, above the wife and kids would not be a repeated choice in the event the situation presents itself again? 😒
@Samanthawaltonwackford
@Samanthawaltonwackford Жыл бұрын
Settling for a spouse you do not want to be with, or are no longer in love with out of your own fear of being alone seem like a pretty selfish thing to do.
@ivywildwss
@ivywildwss Жыл бұрын
Right?! I am thinking the same. Alice has an amazing heart and courage to forgive like that, but she had little kids to consider. It's all so sad.
@paulap9958
@paulap9958 Жыл бұрын
So it's all about THEM . they decided to be with someone else without breaking previus commitment just because THEY felt like it, they go away because THEY felt like it, they come back because THEY don't want to be alone now, 10 years from now, or ever. It's never about anyone else but THEMSELVES
@Ikarus_Riding
@Ikarus_Riding Жыл бұрын
There's no justice. Perhaps law should interfere
@ivywildwss
@ivywildwss Жыл бұрын
It always is, and the betrayed has to fix the hurt inside themselves and forgive to go forward. Unfair.
@Gotoworkkk
@Gotoworkkk 3 ай бұрын
@@ivywildwss not really actually… divorce is the only real option
@SM78..
@SM78.. 2 жыл бұрын
I honestly believe that to many people get married to early in life. People change there viewpoint in life. I am getting a divorce and at this point very tired of others trying to make me out to be a monster at times because at 43 I am not the 20yr old he married. And gladly so. I deserve to be happy and most importantly at peace with my life. As does everyone. Love is love. To guilt or shame someone into thinking otherwise is wrong.
@matchesmalone9266
@matchesmalone9266 2 жыл бұрын
You trying to convince us, or yourself?
@SM78..
@SM78.. 2 жыл бұрын
@@matchesmalone9266 being human honesty probably a little bit of both.
@alexislost4739
@alexislost4739 2 жыл бұрын
I agree if its not an affair or your cheating, your comment is very valid. You are entitled to be happy and communicate with your partner about this. But if you enter a relationship while being in one you need to reconsider what “happiness” is
@Chiaroscuroification
@Chiaroscuroification Жыл бұрын
Oh my friend prepare for actions and reactions. I hope its your decision and not someones else influence otherwise...you will regret it for ever.
@rrurban
@rrurban Жыл бұрын
You’re mad at your husband and he doesn’t hear, feel or see you and you can’t get through to him. Sorry.
@dianepolk9878
@dianepolk9878 2 жыл бұрын
Lack of accountability to God’s Word is what caused one to stray, disobey God and hurt ones own soul. It’s the love of God who restores one back to Himself, leading us to repentance and restoration. There are always life changing consequences to sin but thank You Jesus Christ for forgiveness.
@dianepolk9878
@dianepolk9878 2 жыл бұрын
Accountability to God’s Word is what caused one to stray, disobey God and hurt ones own soul. It’s the love of God who restores one back to Himself leading us to repentance and restoration. There are always life changing consequences to sin but thank You Jesus Christ for forgiveness.
@susannahpearethcan5ing
@susannahpearethcan5ing 4 ай бұрын
its the worst thing imaginable and i really hope he's doing okay.
@LordVoltRod2c
@LordVoltRod2c 2 жыл бұрын
Only thing I want to know is how to let that person know we never needed them and would never have wanted them had we known they would find someone better looking. And also, to let them know, thank you for the ecstasy and how you made so happy, you were my drug, the best one I ever had, but now I have moved on from you, my new lover is just too shroomey to miss what you had to offer. 🍄🌆. Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent with a note saying I love you... It's Always goodbye.
@oambitiousone7100
@oambitiousone7100 Жыл бұрын
I see all these videos about reviving a marriage that has died, and there’s endless optimism. But for some reason, when it comes to an affair, there doesn’t seem to be such optimism. Deciding to be with someone decades ago is considered redeemable. A relationship undertaken recently is not. Why is that?
@northshorelight35
@northshorelight35 Жыл бұрын
I really need help by talking to someone.
@fionac6671
@fionac6671 6 ай бұрын
“I always tell the truth”…😆 this man just explained he had an affair, so I can guarantee he did not tell his wife the truth. Cheaters lack empathy. This whole video he’s feeling bad for the cheater, but let’s face it, what he did to his wife was a million times worse.
@shepardsmith3235
@shepardsmith3235 2 жыл бұрын
I am not one of these sensualists. They operate on emotion and that will always let you down. But the damage they can do and do do is incalculable when they get into and continue an affair. They will literatlly destroy their marriage, their family and their spouse to be with the one they are consumed by. But it is too late. And I think because of their nature they will repeat this. So what is the moral of this story?? You have to think long and hard about the person you make a decision on marrying. You have to ask the tough questions because if you don't you and your children may be the ones to suffer when your spouse has the affair. It would be nice if you could ask them. Have you been divorced. How many times and who filed. Clearly if your potential spouse has been divorced twice and they filed twice then you are kidding yourself if you think this is going to work out. Even if they are not divorced if they have been involved in affairs with married AP's then dont expect much from your portential spouse. But dont count on the potentilal spouse to be honest with you if they have anything to hide. I guess the best advice is get a nice dull person who is a real solid citizen to marry. They are probably in it for the long run. The person the speaker is talking about are not and will give you grief .
@LisaCulton
@LisaCulton 2 жыл бұрын
You will become extraordinarily bored with the dull partner sooner rather than later.
@shepardsmith3235
@shepardsmith3235 2 жыл бұрын
@@LisaCulton You may be correct but what about the person who comes at you with guns blazing and wants to marry you on the first date. Is this going to work out??? Of course not. Boring people can be taught to be less boring but the party hard crowd cant go the other way. So I guess if you can find someone in the middle that seems fine. But thats not easy. Just my two ents.
@LisaCulton
@LisaCulton 2 жыл бұрын
@@shepardsmith3235 Believe me, if you go in thinking that you can teach or change someone, you're already in trouble.
@themusiccritic902
@themusiccritic902 2 жыл бұрын
grow up and move on ,hopefully you learned from this and will never do it again.
@LisaCulton
@LisaCulton 2 жыл бұрын
I think he's still in love with her. He talks about her all the time even though it was 30 years ago or whatever. She was the one that got away. LOL.
@k.s.ktheboogeyman2788
@k.s.ktheboogeyman2788 2 жыл бұрын
An affair is an affair its wrong period this is not good advice nor a good practice if u are having an affair there is no way that will b better than the mairrage ur having an affair with you can not build a good foundation on sand if your watching this video your going to have to realities to face ur affair will end n because of ur affair and the way u feel about it ur probably gonna loose ur marriage to
@k.s.ktheboogeyman2788
@k.s.ktheboogeyman2788 2 жыл бұрын
If ur living in agony kuz u lost ur affair think about the agony ur affair caused ur spouse Rediculous
@fairyliciousa275
@fairyliciousa275 2 жыл бұрын
@@k.s.ktheboogeyman2788 Exactly. The pain and agony the betrayed spouse goes through is worse yet they are the ones who become the back bone of rebuilding.
@4give7
@4give7 4 ай бұрын
So true. This was my situation. I was the one trying to rebuild. If the betrayed is the one putting in more or most of the effort to save the marriage, it's a huge red flag! He was never sincerely remorseful. He said he had ended his affair, but he hadn't. We're divorced now.
@hightechredneck_0566
@hightechredneck_0566 2 жыл бұрын
Excellent. Thank you!
@VanessaSimon26
@VanessaSimon26 Жыл бұрын
I need help
@lpsglitterpaws8536
@lpsglitterpaws8536 2 жыл бұрын
A word of advice…don’t get married! At 17 years of marriage I am living out Shawshank Redemption
@lpsglitterpaws8536
@lpsglitterpaws8536 2 жыл бұрын
Transactional
@RipenedKarma
@RipenedKarma 9 ай бұрын
I wish I could show this to my fiancée but she doesn’t know that I know. But this is exactly what she is going through right now. All I can do is let her have her time to get over him.
@oambitiousone7100
@oambitiousone7100 Жыл бұрын
Why don’t marriages cycle then? That’s a relationship, all of which end.
@Mariyahfatima
@Mariyahfatima Жыл бұрын
Hang on hes talking about his grieve after he left his wife and children for his cheating.. just show some empathy to your ex spouse? You’ll get over it faster.
@susannahpearethcan5ing
@susannahpearethcan5ing 4 ай бұрын
maybe the spouse should let him be happy though
@BeeKay-fu6mr
@BeeKay-fu6mr Жыл бұрын
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