When Is It Safe to Open Up to Someone? (Matthew Hussey & Stephen Hussey)

Join Matt and Steve for a chat on vulnerability, when to reveal yourself in a relationship, and what counts as over-sharing...
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[@jessdohm]

"Our stories aren't meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves before we share: "Who has earned the right to hear my story?"" Brené Brown

[@watcherobserver7959]

Exactly! The right,AND the trust.

[@unfortunatelyiamsane]

love her!

[@hughtanner208]

troof.....

[@kneeyo00]

...and what if the mountain didn't let us climb because it thought we hadn't earned it?..🌿 ...that mountain would probably be in the shape of a dick .

[@kneeyo00]

...or a very tall nipple.

[@lauriciasedits]

Your emotional intelligence is legit therapeutic to witness. The vulnerability and real nature of this video was really encouraging, thank you both!

[@Wildchile]

it’s beautiful

[@RS-yy9tu]

Z PP

[@RS-yy9tu]

0

[@Gloria37913]

Couldn’t agree more!

[@nicoleonfeels]

I think there’s so much strength in being vulnerable because it’s so hard to do.

[@Wrath501]

To me its not strength but bein fake...becuz sumone is pretendin an tryin to hide who they really are...but I understand too y ppl dnt cum off too soon

[@elizabetholiver777]

That was such a welcome discussion on vulnerability! As a chronic over-sharer myself, it is always important to remember when to keep your mouth shut, no matter who you are talking to! 😂

[@DH-dl3ll]

Sometimes I'm literally telling myself in my head to shut up but my mouth keeps opening 😩😂

[@ihama99]

@@DH-dl3ll Me too 😄

[@DH-dl3ll]

@@ihama99 heehee 👁️🕳️👁️

[@karofoxx7476]

SAME😂😂😂😂

[@blessings9889]

Same!🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@kellyl11082]

It’s not your job to make people like you. It is your job to make people like who they are when they’re with you. :-)

[@katcuzzi]

I love this!

[@kellyl11082]

@@katcuzzi ❤️

[@canthinkaboutone]

Mmmm different story if that was Hannibal Lecter saying that...

[@ceciliaramoscastillo2809]

In love with my best friend from a year now... I dont think he likes me like that... Sooo I am Thinking about "break UP" the friendship because is really painful not to be with him in the way I want... But I dont know if I should talk to him about why Im going away... Or just not talk to him anymore... Plsss Help me... Any suggestion is welcome... 😢😢😢

[@Jessica.Souths]

No I don't agree, that's just another job. What other people think of you is none of your business. Just be yourself

[@yorkshirelassdiaries4841]

It’s all about balance, being able to have a laugh together, being able to be serious, being supportive, being vulnerable, give and take

[@Trina18]

What he says about being vulnerable is the only way of finding out if you actually fit together as a couple of so true. I find that in dating it's all about being the real you and not playing pretend. Awesome video.

[@h.s264]

Healthy vulnerability at the right time can lead to Emotional connection which has a great impact on whether or not we're compatible and it all comes from good communication skills

[@tailgunner2]

Wrong comment! Sorry!

[@jadegreen1554]

The GREAT COMMUNICATION skills is the most important part difficult 😥

[@sher101]

I find the question “are you ok?” quite interesting. My whole life people only wanted the “inside” of the cookie when it came to me, not the whole entire cookie. The inside of the cookie was my most positive self which in turn made them feel great. That’s not all of who I am though, I’m the WHOLE cookie! Crusty outer pieces and all! The question “are you ok?” usually was used with an intention of wanting me to show them the “good” part of myself so they could feel better about themselves. The good news is, I love all of who I am...the WHOLE DAMN COOKIE!

[@kristinadams9120]

Matt this was a deeply authentic reflection. Thank you. I really appreciate you speaking to how incredibly healthy and normal it is to be OK and not ok ...and have a range of emotions.

[@raniayehia6100]

this is so raw and a really coversation, thanks guys for reminding me that we are all always going through the same cycle of fear as well ..

[@heididelatierra-yoga]

Ditto! I totally enjoyed this truth-bomb of realness!! :D

[@alexare6431]

A really conversation

[@bethnorris1361]

People who try to come convey that Matt's "off" are projecting their own "off-ness" 😅 Matt's SO generous to share with us!

[@rosemarydewar1707]

“Be yourself, and try.” Perfection

[@lilrodz]

Let’s help each other get through these difficult times. Stop the judgement, gaslighting, pointing fingers and interrogation of others.

[@stacyjaye6350]

When I was in eighth grade and going to one of my first parties, my mom told me, it's your job to help make the party fun. Pick out the person that's alone, and go talk to them. Thanks, Mom.

[@kamnoushkhos8833]

Beautiful advise! You should be so easy to be around 🌾

[@ellamentalart]

Matthew, you're human. It's ok to be multi faceted 💖 we all can be happy and sad, deep and other emotions at the same time.

[@trishataylor2488]

I totally agree with you because I fated someone who was always showing up in 3 pc suits And being an entertainer like he was the cat's meow .And what he was really doing was covering up the fact that he was a gambling addict And was completely crushed As an individual And he made sure Not to let anybody know that. Because he was always pretending I always felt He was hiding things And I couldn't stand it

[@pavliiii]

Hello Matthew, I want to thank you for what you are doing. I am 36 years old and after a very hard break up. I found your videos after that and it is opening my eyes! I needed to hear those things and advice all my life. It is a life changing process to listen to the information you are giving! My self esteem is growing like a mountain and I finally know what Ive been doing wrong, which is undervaluing my needs in relationships and being actually desperate to fulfill the other ones needs. This is over! Thank you for showing how guys can me mean and selfish. I thought I was the only one who was wrong. Thank you very much!!!

[@naomipowers203]

That was one of the most attractive qualities in a man that I have recently starting talking to. He felt safe enough to be vulnerable with me. I like the fact that he felt he could be real with me.

[@nichole8609]

I would love to hear Stephens' thoughts more, More Stephen please!😊

[@lin1621]

Matthew it was courageous of you to portray your vulnerability to all of us watching.

[@wendymcaleer5983]

Great job! I had been struggling to "be myself", "be authentic", "be genuine", "be vulnerable" "be out there" etc. etc. because I thought I was ...but may not have been showning up with the right attitude. I appreciate the context around buzz advice. Thank you.

[@audreyoreilly4055]

Steven's set up is so London, Matthew's is so LA! Great podcast btw.

[@PinkSweets87]

💗💗💗💗 More People should hear this. I’m Grateful I have the opportunity to hear this. Thank You.

[@cyrenebader598]

I so relate to your disposition in this video. I live in Beirut Lebanon, I am so proud of myself for just being able to get by and hold on to any semblance of sanity and inner balance. I have survived cancer, a revolution, an economic collapse, a pandemic, the third largest bombing recorded between 2019 and the present. So yeah, I am proudly just getting by, and still managing to see the wonder and beauty of the complexity of life, humans, and emotions.🙏💚

[@valfle]

I am sorry that you had to go through this. I can‘t even imagine how this life might impact you and your sanity. I can tell you are very strong ✨💪🏻 🌈

[@cyrenebader598]

💜💜💜

[@jennanimri]

Matthew this is one of my favorite conventions you’ve ever done. So real & honest. Thank you.

[@Amantducafe]

"Honesty" is pretty much the most important thing. Even if during a date someone says something great or grim, the honesty behind it is what matters.

[@katcuzzi]

I love the place this video ended up in. Thanks for keeping it real! I think we’re all feeling all of the emotions these days... I know I am.

[@shadowandsoul4331]

I love this podcast. One of the best ones yet that I have seen with Matthew Hussey. I love how he articulates with humor and a level of intimacy his authenticity. So human and lovely all that he says here.

[@brianachristensen3852]

Exactly. We are so obsessed with happiness. It's gross. Thank you for bringing that up.

[@melanieelizabeth01]

As a tormented Romantic who teeters between unconditional love and existential crisis, THANK YOU for your honesty. Not enough people can handle complexity. And especially critical thinking. 💕

[@heidihgreen]

I so appreciate that you're acknowledging the complexities and dualities of reality! That's life!!!

[@emily1486]

I really needed to hear this 🙏🏼 I’ve been struggling with my existential fears a lot and it’s so comforting to hear other people talk about it so openly. Thank you for being 3-dimensional Matt ❤️

[@Bkprw]

The last little bit of saying that they enjoy each other’s company was really sweet. It’s so refreshing to hear 👂🏼

[@aasabergem8981]

I LOVE this video! The message about how we see life and people cannot be said often enough and I love your passion about it. Seems so real and heartfelt. Thank you Matthew Hussey.

[@karend4155]

This is awesome. Matthew is showing both authenticity and vulnerability. Great questions put to Matthew by Steve. By being vulnerable you will find if the person is truly attracted to you. But do it at the appropriate time and space. Amen

[@Netanyabee]

I absolutely love your recognition of being ok and not ok at the same time. Thank you for being so real and acknowledging what it’s like to live life as a deep human being with existential feelings about life in both the beauty and fear. Also, choosing to live abroad knowing that it’s a totally different reality than choosing to live near your family. All the while being a successful and driven professional. You’re lovely.

[@mariebrookes9186]

I love what you said about vulnerability. For me it's important and endearing when someone shows vulnerability. Obviously there is a time and a place but it does need to be shared. The last few people I dated couldn't show that side of themselves which was a real shame. It was the reason the relationships ended. I wish more people could talk like you do Matthew. ♥️

[@plamitodorova5952]

I am so happy that I was a part of this amazing podcast chatting on Instagram 😄Love it guys! That was really amazing, vulnerable, sincere podcast! You two are amazing doing these podcasts together!😃🥰💖

[@CHICKDIGSBASEBALL]

I cried at the end of this. So warming Matt to say to your Brother. Very touching. You said something about you as a coach not being able to show emotion. My personal opinion is that you guys need to show your range of emotions because it what makes you human. Sooooo important in my opinion for me to be able to connect and follow you. Thanks!

[@tempestadiamore1]

I 'm just liking this guy a lot...he is so genuine and one of a kind. Period!

[@dochkei8535]

IMHO, Stephen protects your bright smile for his entire life. He looks like he is really listening to you and not ruining your popularity in front of us. If I were in Stephen's shoes, I would be pissed off.

[@pangschroeder9322]

Thank you for being raw, vulnerable and authentic! My recent friend is the kind of person who you described, as "this is who I am and if you don't like me, that's your problem"

[@BB25_25]

Matt is becoming such a philosopher, I love it. Love how you "keep it real" and see through and call out the shallow bullshit in the world esp that on social media. Thank you

[@lynnescrafton4703]

There's so much frustration in the inability for many to live in the grey. Love it. Its true.

[@Desert_Sirens]

Guys, this video almost made me cry - it spoke to the depth of my soul. Just getting out of a marriage that had very little emotional vulnerability and lots of 'toxic positivity'. Some people don't seem to have the tools to truly be emotionally available and vulnerable. A whole lot of strength and emotional intelligence is necessary to show the right amount of vulnerability at the right time. But I think it can be SO sexy and intimate to do so. ... You guys opening up like this and not being afraid to show the depth of your soul is very encouraging - thanks for this! I watched this at the perfect moment in time.

[@rosek5687]

Love your explanation of emotions, vulnerability and the context and timing of expressing these in this video. Totally relate with 'I'm ok and not ok'. Great video.

[@andreeamorgociu2541]

"worrying about the future, that makes me realize that I am too far in the future" - that helped me, I will try to start thinking about it that way when this worry exceeds the reasonable/healthy level, thank you! This video was valuable for me, wish you well!

[@jenniferpollock7677]

Matthew Hussey you are completely ON POINT!👏You have a great head on your shoulders and I love that you have such an intelligent understanding that it's normal to have an array of emotions existing at one time, that makes us complex beings. I believe it takes only an emotionally healthy person to both know "how" and "be" vulnerable. It shows that you're humble and living in reality and are able to look at yourself and others around you with a deeper level of understanding and awareness than those who are "not vulnerable" because they're in my opinion, too afraid to look at themselves and admit life does come with a myriad of "feelings" and "experiences" for each one of us. Those people sadly are not truly in touch with reality.

[@teeve1500]

Have watched you for a while. That was the first time I have been deeply touched. Thank you.❤

[@cherrybansal1575]

I love the way u smile Mathew hussey. It just spreads so much positivity and liveliness

[@monkeymind3917]

Matthew- you’re so refreshing! I love listening to you and learning from you. Thank you for being you ♥️

[@prisca8601]

On the surface I tend to appear the exact opposite of who I am underneath (I am a guarded and shy person and have always struggled with vulnerability).I tend to take more time to open up to someone . I recently realized that even my career choice was largely influenced by my guarded personality. This is now my favourite video I have ever watched from you. Not only did you share advice ,you even revealed your vulnerable side!!

[@paris8780]

I am so glad he is SO HONEST!! Needed this

[@edithjacob5115]

It is also very sweet to have someone checking on you making sure you are fine. To me it didn't seem she was judging it, but truly caring.

[@m.38mxmx39]

I don't know about everyone else, but, I'm growing and loving the realness and rawness of all. This is one of my fav. Videos/podcast. Thank you for sharing.

[@KellyRVillanueva]

I LOVE you. Your work, your genunine-ness, and the fact that beyond teaching women how to text the best way, you can also make space in your videos to give us the REAL TALK we need. Matthew, you look AMAZING! Because you look REAL. If anyone is questioning your emotional health, it's because you show us a range of emotions and that person clearly has not seen all your videos. I applaud you for taking on this question on AIR and talking some sense into the generation that thinks we must always be 110% smiley on-air and in photos on social media to be doing well. BIG HUGS from PERU! Please make more of these podcasts! ⋕RealTalkwMatt

[@jocelyn2662]

Thank you so much for this! I am currently writing an essay on how our search for happiness is making us miserable. I think it is important to understand that life will offer us difficult times, and we will not always feel our best and that is ok. We are not failing if we are not our best in every moment. As Matthew pointed out so eloquently, we generally hold a mix of emotions at any given time, both this and that can be true. We are all okay folks!

[@jbom18]

I think vulnerability has more to do with trust. It's very hard for me to be vulnerable because I do not trust someone to know what truly hurts me. I would be in fear of them using it against me to cause me pain in the future. It may not have anything to do with that person- I may not be able to be vulnerable like that with anyone.

[@anacarolinamoreira1233]

And this is why I love watching you so much Matthew. You are not afraid to show that you are a freaking human being and reminds us that it’s okay to be one. That we don’t need to be little robots. I love how this went from dating advice to just being a freaking person with feelings questioning wtf are we doing and behaving like... this type of content feeds my soul 💗

[@michellegao9694]

Love the authenticity and vulnerability in you, Mathew

[@takeawalkwithme2742]

So good Matthew. You're getting more and more authentic and real by every video. Love the depth!

[@lilbitoeveryting]

I really appreciate the concept of schrodinger's emotional state and the fact that people seem to want simple responses to the complexity we all face. Great content overall, thank you both for the discourse!

[@adrianagranda9554]

Hugs from Ecuador! Thank you both for your generosity in this topic.

[@PilotAdventurer]

This really resonated with me. Vulnerability has always been my biggest obstacle. Also like Matthew’s views on “are you okay.”

[@krislynch8680]

I have had the opportunity to see you in many of your different venues from these videos, courses I've bought and interviews, I thoroughly enjoy who you show up as, always. You're always real, always out to genuinely help, whether its basic points or mindset shifts, THANK YOU, for all you share and all the work you put in, it shows.

[@Beccanator007]

I’m with you on that- well said. I’m both “okay and not okay, at the same time”. And as a very positive-attitude person, it’s frustrating when others expect us to ALWAYS be happy go-lucky and beaming positivity- who can hold that vibe ALL THE TIME? Thank you Matthew for letting me know that you too, are a human. Complex, beautiful, and authentic- human. I see you. 🙏

[@ElisabethSangberg]

I never comment on videos. But for the last month I have been binging Matthew's channel. One of the things I appreciate about him is his sincere genuineness, and capability to be so brutally honest and vulnerable. It's real life relatable. I admire people who are able to offer so much of themselves, even to the point of exhaustion at times. Thank You for sharing so much of yourself Matt (and Steve!) I am grateful for the wise words and insight from both of you fine gentlemen. Be well!

[@crystalwestman1460]

Really appreciate you expressing your true self and being real about being human - we need more of this - we need more emotional understanding and learn to respect the complexity of being a person.

[@meganfears618]

Stephen is a very good listener. I could learn a lot from both of these men.

[@amandapirot1022]

Authenticity is your super power. Thank you for naming life's complexities.

[@klarasuh4204]

Loved the part about the complexity of the question "are you OK?". I hate when ppl ask that, I never know what to say

[@user-my2eo9lo1y]

Matthew you have done and still are doing a great job! Keep being YOU! YOU are wonderful!

[@amandas.6500]

So glad you talked about this, & the aggressive vulnerability types. Not everything you think of NEEDS to be said. 💯%. They are not the most charming, interesting person in the room. Less is more. I agree!

[@vemilia4]

You are great you two. This is so real! Thanks for talking publicly like this ❤️

[@FeatheredMoonReadings]

I absolutely ❤️ Matthew Hussey. I find that the topics addressed are what I see in men, most definitely.

[@Florence_-dw7ws]

Thank you for you both. Such a wise and honest conversation.

[@kristyfae]

I absolutely love this video and the vulnerability you share, and how you explain it! Thank you Matthew and Stephen!

[@jemmacruse6235]

I have watched your videos and on and off for a couple of years, but this - incredible. I have never comment on youtube (well, rarely) but this is powerful. This is what I say to people! It’s ok to have a range of feelings, we don’t need to suddenly try and make them better. People get uncomfortable with another living in a fluid space,, ‘Toxic positivity’ is so damaging to others, it shuts them down!

[@elsacorourke9634]

Amazing timing I needed this ❤️

[@Young_Techiez]

Yep there is a big difference between vulnerability and oversharing

[@jenniferyork2391]

You are SO RIGHT ON MATHEW!!!

[@meditation4632]

I enjoy this longer format , where do we find more like these?

[@JenniferColemanMusic]

Matthew - your rant really resonated with me. Especially the part about living in another country. I'm happiest with my family back home too.

[@lindamast3351]

I really appreciate you for being so real , I feel you

[@5thdimensionliving727]

Thanks for another brilliant podcast - very real, raw and authentic 🙏🙏

[@MariaRodriguez-tj5fz]

Thank you Matthew, I really enjoyed this conversation and you guys are funny. Love your videos together!

[@rachaelsills9010]

You don't have to share the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to you. That's between you, your therapist and god. But you can discuss just day-to-day difficulties because literally everyone goes through life with things not going as planned and with Murphy's Law acting up. You can just share something like, "this stressful thing happened at work and I had to spend my lunch hour fixing it or stay late or whatever," and see how your love interest reacts. You don't always need big moments. The little moments tell you what you need to know, too.

[@user-dv1nr9bd3z]

Brisk walk and a gratitude journal...I really laughed a lot!That is so true. Thanks,Matt!

[@saravelasquez9343]

I just love you Matt! thank you so much! I respect you so much for opening your heart to all of us the way you do every time but this was very very special

[@gaiafristachi4541]

I love this man. Period.

[@ralukafit5064]

You guys are so wise and find myself learninga lot about people and relationships. I'm glad I discovered your channel.

[@samanthasvideography5404]

Love This!!!! ...the topic as well as Matthew in conversation with his brother ...

[@mayanozar9989]

Wow , I loved your answer about if you are ok ! That’s really resonated with me.

[@ceciliango3384]

You don't seem off Matt. You're just passionate about what you do. Great talk❤

[@elinvsyaa]

The dark existential part sitting right next to the one that thinks life is the most magical thing ever- is the most relatable thing I've heard in a long time. Thank you guys for keeping things real.

[@dimpleraj3356]

Every video of yours is just a profound insight and a fresh perspective of looking at human emotions. Thank you.

[@danielbartholomew-poyser4195]

I am so here for this Matthew. Damn.

[@miluviannaatriz]

OMG! I absolutely needed that. Thank you! Not on my best right now and sociap media makes me feel awful most of the times. But I am happy. Thank you guys!

[@godsplan7726]

Matthew Hussey..you make this world a better place just by being in it.. Matthew Hussey..i respect your good intentions..i adore your good character..i like your good thoughts..I love your emotional intelligence..and I love your kindness.. Matthew Hussey..you are my favourite person in the world..

[@mtnhausgurl]

Hi Matthew thank you for continuing developing us towards the relationship with a man. Stay safe and God bless! 💕🎉👍