When You're On Trial For Being a SIMP

[@RyanLongcomedy]

THE FELLAS FELLAS TOUR: Plano (this weekend!) Toronto(next weekend!, Buffalo, Boston, Tampa ryanlongcomedy.com FOLLOW @_danny @BeinIanPod @theboyscast PLEASE BUY A SHIRT: ryanlongstore.com

[@ngonzales3781]

Ian Finance sketch when?

[@Sajuuk]

Excellent video bro it had me 😂ing all the way through

[@4dbullshitpatroll6]

White Knighting? Is that like Loyd Christmas' daydream scene in Dumb and Dumber or sticking up for her when she's being a total bitch

[@ngonzales3781]

@@4dbullshitpatroll6 tight knight

[@auntiesemite9295]

You are HILARIOUS dude! I wish I could see you live but I BOY CAUGHT the usa in 2001 when bush went into Iraq and I'm not flying to Toronto as long as turdeau is still running that place.

[@90DegreesAngle_]

This court scene was more realistic and better written then shehulks scenes

[@Aralaas]

That's not saying much.

[@davidpalmer7952]

Also She-Hulk never had B. Rad 😤

[@69sparker]

Malibus Most Wanted

[@tomcoop9750]

😂

[@Simply_chase]

Wouldn’t know… hahah

[@AmiiboDoctor]

"Habeas corpus simpus" is a vastly underrated joke

[@imthisguysotheraccount3260]

What does it mean

[@vietcongpornsurfers]

@@imthisguysotheraccount3260 it means he is in ligma

[@HWRogue]

New meaning to "body count."

[@IluvinortheIneffable]

Habeus corpus is a writ to have people who are unlawfully arrested released. This joke is that habeus corpus was just a latin legal phrase he knows and he appended simpus to the end.

[@HWRogue]

@@IluvinortheIneffable the literal translation is show me the body.

[@relevantusername3342]

"I'm Jewish." "Sustained!" 🤣🤣🤣

[@mikejohnson9118]

I felt that!

[@climbtheskyspine5748]

Yeah, because he's not Christian. Get it?

[@jameskfouri1896]

That was the funniest part 🤣

[@PurpleHazeVanNederlands]

OBJECTION!!! The Torah is the Old Testament which makes up half of the bible, therefore his so called "Jewishness" does not abstain him perjury

[@Ransetsu]

@@PurpleHazeVanNederlands OVER RULED!! The Jewish religion holds the Talmud in higher regard than the Torah.

[@BIGMIKE32ful]

If she's not texting you back, that means she's not interested. Don't simp my kings!

[@Gulgathydra]

Or she's just busy. But that is also a very good reason to stop texting her.

[@mikecsernyik7360]

@@Gulgathydra no girl is ever too busy for the man that she wants

[@Gulgathydra]

@@mikecsernyik7360 If you're into useless, vapid airheads, sure. If she's got something going on other than finding a boyfriend, well, life gets in the way sometimes. The women worth your time are worth waiting for (which is nothing more or less than a bit of your time). Not simping for... but waiting for. Also there is nothing more repugnant to the ladies worth your time than pestering them like a needy child. They want only the number of children they birth.

[@justhair17]

Idk man, its possible they dont even remember. Sometimes I get a message and I read it, but Im drunk af, so I wont reply and completely forget about it. If she doesnt reply once, its fine to text her again in a couple of days. However, if she doesnt reply again, just move on

[@shaycray7662]

Don’t tell me how to live my life! I’ll white knight you right in the dick!

[@daltonbrasier5491]

These men literally exist.

[@Lybarger12b]

It's crazy how reality works

[@TheGodNC]

Fr dudes sayin he loves her after knowing her for 3 weeks? Giving her money…

[@youlig1]

@@Lybarger12b Bro reality is kind of stupid and cruel

[@youlig1]

@@Lybarger12b People that are nice get mistreated, people that behave like assholes even get rewarded. it's crazy how naive people are about the cruelty of existence

[@aks2752]

Yes and they drunk soy

[@nicolefernandez7792]

"remember you're under oath pal" ....I died🤣😂🤣😂

[@swayarrow]

lmfaoooo

[@erikallen9141]

Incredible. Most comedians don't put out something this funny in their entire career and ryan and danny somehow manage to do it every week.

[@TheIncredibleStories]

Gotta give Ian Fidance some credit too, his performance here fuckin rules.

[@erikallen9141]

@@TheIncredibleStories facts, he's quickly becoming one of my favorite comedians.

[@jonbrickers8427]

Ryan vaping as a simp judge was definitely overlooked, that was comedy gold

[@paulfroelich1024]

I noticed and loved it.

[@dirtdiv3r]

How do you know it was overlooked? Did you take a poll or something?

[@carlpittenger]

​@@dirtdiv3rlack of comments about it perhaps? i for one did miss it on first viewing

[@Ebolacrash]

"Guilty of Felonious Simping " dear God that line left me in tears!

[@1337Se7eN7]

He needs a simpervention and rehabilitation, not jail time

[@nikaluss5946]

I hope this comment gets 10 billion likes😂😂😂👌

[@elusivemayfly7534]

😂😂😂

[@randomfullywonderful]

He didn't get jail time, the judge just cleared his phone of her contact info and removed his credit card from her page. 😆

[@se5080]

Nah lashings at the very least

[@theregnarute]

calling fat women fat is the least he could do to redeem himself.

[@eriseiato]

I have no problem if the court system was run this way. 😂

[@AnxiousStacker]

It practically is nowadays 🤣

[@KermdoubleO7]

"let the record state the defendant use to be the man!"

[@karlheber23]

"I'm jewish" "Sustained." 🤣

[@3rdwaveredpill144]

The judge is an absolute legend.

[@Medevil9908]

"Is she good at video games?" "Yes, I believe she's one of the best gamers alive." "You're under oath, pal!" That was so good.

[@sagirabdullahi6892]

Hit me up,I have something for you ☑️☑️

[@Mika-Fresh]

2:24 lol

[@interestingengineering291]

Soo good bro 😂

[@InfamousKicker]

Danny plays the perfect redditor

[@manydirt2600]

He's nowhere near fat enough, plus he can actually grow a beard and doesn't look like he stinks. I'm not sure he's a good fit.

[@tyvamakes5226]

@@manydirt2600 Have you seen bearded soyboys? they do exist.

[@jkeezy93]

Ryan blowing that vape cloud out of his teeth is my main mood when stuff goes wrong at work

[@guy8029]

“About 3 weeks or so” “I paid her rent a month ago” GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY

[@paulwary]

You need to do a full series - Law and Order: Simp Victims Unit. "In the criminal justice system, the crime of simping is considered especially heinous..."

[@houseofhas9355]

I would pay for this. I will email them and pay for the patron.

[@gyorgyor7765]

The dude playing the lawyer was just insanely good in this like what an incredible and fun performance.

[@treyharmon3241]

Ian Fidance

[@CertainEvent]

The charge should've been called "Simpery in the first degree"

[@ninjaartist1235]

I bet Ryan did this skit so he could wear the judges wig.

[@T.v.d.V]

The only reason indeed... the rest was invented around it. Ryan has the eye too....

[@maximeanselot3007]

Weak sentencing. Simping is not going to stop until there are examples made.

[@theregnarute]

should be sentenced to trying to start a male-only fight club for straight men. or get into the army with the intention to get to high ranks and do a coup against the matriarchy.

[@primadonna2819]

From one attorney to another, that discovery comment, that's how it's done! 👏

[@snakepond2716]

Bailing on the golf game was over the line, Danny. 😂

[@pandabear4565]

"You make me wanna shit" that made me laugh more than it shouldve

[@Charizard100000357]

Never be married to someone hasn’t said “I do”

[@concretecowboy1977]

Never be married to a creature capable of being more than one person

[@Alacard0malley]

We could just stop at never be married

[@Charizard100000357]

@@Alacard0malley if that is your philosophy, sure. But some people still want to be married

[@Alacard0malley]

@@Charizard100000357 it's not for me to say how best someone should ruin their life but I think Doug Stanhope has tons of good standing to ask why you'd invite the government into your relationship

[@danieldaniels7571]

Fuck all that. Just never be married. Marriage is the first stage of divorce.

[@dylan-5287]

This is amazing! Danny played that perfectly.

[@shikinanaya7162]

That was breathtaking. Case closed! Every SIMP needs to be done in.

[@takarahayashi4124]

simp court needs to be real lol

[@jesses27]

That fucking lawyer is platinum: we need more of him ..

[@RandomBogey]

3:54 “You make me want to shit!” made me choke. Fucking love Ian

[@cinemint]

"I'm Jewish. I only believe half the book, so I'm allowed to tell half-truths, right?"

[@memoryhero]

Bro, half the book nothing... Christians just chucked DLC on top of the base game.

[@loganpol1172]

You swore on the Lords book! Uhh I'm Jewish. Sustained. Lmao!!

[@houseofhas9355]

"How do you plea? I plead I love her, your honor" 😂

[@bex_3]

LOL judge in the background "u kept sending!?" 3:03

[@thiagots85]

I was just thinking "my man is subbing to a twitch streamer, not dating"... and then it comes that she is a twitch streamer and OF "model" xD I maybe saw the line coming and it still got me. You guys are hilarious.

[@purpleroadster7306]

Ian kills it whether it’s on gilly and keeves or one of Ryan’s sketch’s lmao

[@excellent_name]

his KT episodes are fire as well

[@purpleroadster7306]

@@excellent_name yeah that too, I’ve also gotten the chance to see him live and he killed opening for Shane that’s actually how I found out about Ian

[@RustCole01]

He is much funnier than I would have guessed. I've only recently started listening to some of his podcast appearances and they were really good. But his comedy acting is supreme. Especially since he leans into the "Divorced Jewish guy with IBS" - look. The man's got range.

[@ihateutube1143]

Grammar police, he was awesome!

[@trlns59]

The guy with glasses - MVP.

[@markrichards6171]

OMFG, that is a fucking powerful message. Every man needs to see this. Ryan, that was so fucking funny it was making me cringe.

[@andreacannizzo9641]

If you're not a lawyer like him do not bother following my ambulance

[@raah5583]

"Cross examine the SIMP"

[@FizzyP]

The prosecution "sustains" HAHAHA

[@DubbyMoodz]

Judge: You are hereby sentenced to 3 months of rehabilitation in the "Primis fratris, non moechas" clinic where you'll undergo an intense depussification procedure and have weekly scheduled bro check-ups to measure the progress in overcoming the S.I.M.P (Significantly Impaired with Mental Pussification) disease.

[@docclovve447]

2:16 "he still missed it"🤣🤣

[@timothypeters8211]

Ryan, I met a "Kate" in August. Being very inexperienced in the realm of dating, I gave her information she should have never had access to, & she was talking about "wanting to start a business" together. I got taken for a lot more than I had. Thanks for the video.

[@kalebbruwer]

I bet she's "not ready" to hold hands either

[@learrus]

This is the reality check we all need in these dark times. Thank you brothers. Also that moustache comb part was fucking hilarious. You guys are like the Looney Toons of the modern age; you maximize punchlines per minute masterfully

[@MeltonCrest]

The sentencing isn't harsh enough, he should be forced to watch all seasons of Sex and the City in one sitting without breaks.

[@jasonbrody8724]

See this is the problem with our justice system this is just gonna make him even more of a simp

[@miothan]

I dunno man, that sounds WAY to harsh for the crime he committed.

[@markmurex6559]

He needs to watch a manly show instead.

[@houseofhas9355]

Jokes on you. He already done that with his "girlfriend " and her new man. 😬 And he paid for it by buying the streaming service account.

[@Stephen-Harding]

Yeah, while listening to Lionel Ritchie's "Hello" on a loop

[@mastercabbage]

I love when Ian is in these sketches.

[@latt.qcd9221]

Cases like this are why the death penalty exists.

[@mattyftwcf3860]

Clear case of simping in the first degree

[@hitchslap8254]

zeroth degree.

[@rowanblithe71]

danny's ability to pull that innocent look is just pure gold

[@CoffeeFresh_]

The prosecutor is my favorite actor.

[@houseofhas9355]

Part 2 needs a defense. My client was tortured and denied the right to watch his girlfriend's webcam show. This is a violation of the 8 amendment.

[@jcmick8430]

You make me wanna shit!

[@CoffeeFresh_]

@@houseofhas9355 "I have a right to a speedy trial because my girlfriend wants some doordash"

[@houseofhas9355]

@@CoffeeFresh_ We all simp once. The key is rid thy self of ever simping again. That's why I attend an 8 step program called. Steps away from simping. A support program for reformed imps. Are you ready to take steps to meaningful change in your life. Ps And no matter what you have heard, our program is not a pathway to gayness. Lol it's not bro.

[@MrHerrRiedel]

Who's the prosecutor?

[@MeanBeanComedy]

Fidance is acting his socks off up there!

[@danielj3010]

This is one of your best, yet realistic plays.

[@bromtitus4297]

Judge Ryan vaping and Danny saying he swore on the Bible but he's jewish make this video the masterpiece it is.

[@snipinstrisand]

Ian Fidance is an American treasure

[@navnnavn1226]

"Do you mind adding those to evidence?" Lmao

[@InAVanByTheRivr]

4:54 that chuckle was so infectious lol.

[@sagirabdullahi6892]

Hit me up,I have something for you ☑️☑️

[@grinningchicken]

Tell the jury surely you've smashed🤣

[@wisdon]

"you mess with women you mess with us"

[@joelsalyer5544]

IAN lets go! fucking love you 3 together. Ian really plays well with you guys, you should make a follow up to the crypto mafia video the 3 of you made and it could be about FTX.

[@samaelament]

1:22 is where I started losing it. Fucking perfect.

[@Jvccampbell]

Danny’s humour really comes through when he plays the straight man.

[@royalwolf7603]

"You make me wanna shit!!!!" That's not fair, I swear I randomly thought of that insult last night. 😂

[@AdamKlownzinger]

This is one of the funniest things on KZbin, I’m surprised it hasnt been made before. 10/10

[@SenorJoeBiden]

This is precious. Thank you Ryan!!

[@jMichaelEdwards]

love that the judge is vaping; that's hilarious

[@jayedwards7768]

''I still have to pick Kate up.'' Ha!

[@Whydoyouneedtoknow776]

IT'S DISCOVERY MOTHER LOVER!!!!! Best delivery, had me Rollin!

[@houstonh3918]

Every guy needs a bro court like this.

[@captainaxlerod1297]

😂😂😂 “do you mind adding those to evidence “

[@rayraybowser235]

This is one his best sketches to date!! Dude playing the lawyer stole the show.

[@edwardburroughs1489]

love the vaping judge!

[@lukeskymaster]

"You swore on the lord's book" "I'm actually Jewish"

[@RurouniTenShins]

The charges should be amended to “Simpery”

[@brianm7880]

You can't handle the SIMP!!

[@Axeldiedtimeago]

Ian sure does love showing his knife comb at all possible time.

[@violarulez]

ryan's best acting to date, without a doubt.

[@GeofBS]

“You make me wanna shit” 😂

[@climbtheskyspine5748]

My new favourite sketch! Thank you!

[@boulevard14]

I like how they're making fun of both simps and people who call people simps 😂

[@Konnor1224]

This is how it should be. Shunned into oblivion

[@Pistonrager]

Found guilty of being a teir three sub.

[@samtraji1]

a defendant lawyer simping would be even better

[@Enders]

The most honorable high Justice Ryan Long proceeds over this court with dignity and dopeness.

[@winstonsmith1212]

I LOVE the simp content. It's hilarious lol ur Killin it simp

[@ThieleMobile]

Another great sketch for the boys. BOYS BOYS BOYS

[@afanaobeba7876]

Bros need to save other bros like this sometimes.

[@darthmew2081]

Simp Court needs to be a real show!!

[@Godsavethecrumpets]

"Lieberman" is hillarious

[@rwalker0130]

the lawyer is straight from a Grisham novel

[@chrisk1180]

Lotta boys need to be taken to simp court

[@benmuniz11]

Danny is such a good sport

[@pedrocorrea6870]

I'm usually against the death penalty.

[@lgfuad6804]

Always hilarious

[@ningnong1343]

LOL Judge smoking/vaping XD

[@music79075]

"I'm Jewish?" "SUSTAINED!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Alxrlx203]

Prosecutor plays his character unbelievable 😂