Why a Therapist Won't See You Anymore

I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
#katimorton #therapist #therapy
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[@Eggplanet96]

omg I about had a heart attack thinking you were gonna stop seeing us haha

[@ahsfangirl8711]

P. T you’re not the only one! I was literally about to cry 😢

[@CyberSolverYT]

Oh my goodness, I was freaking out too!

[@lesaya3380]

Same dude!

[@chloeabell854]

P. T me too lol

[@tomwells7124]

I thought that too.

[@user-np3sl2hc6j]

Aww, baby's first clickbait! Im so proud I cant even be mad.

[@Pearl127]

T I had the exact same thought!

[@metuniverse8947]

hahah right

[@Katimorton]

Thanks!! xoxo

[@xostrawberry21]

Thought the same thing lol

[@user-np3sl2hc6j]

Kati Morton OH MY GOODNESS I CANT BELIEVE YOU LIKE AND REPLIED I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU SO MUCH! YOU MADE MY ENTIRE LIFE😭❤️

[@daniel-darling]

My therapist kept seeing me even though I couldn't pay her because of insurance. I was is a really bad place and she is the only reason i made it through. ♥️

[@thelegendkillersshittyduff1335]

That's wonderful

[@Christian-ir2mb]

You know you have abandonment problems when the title of a video scares you to death. Jokes aside, I knew about some of these, didn't think progress and couples could make a difference.

[@Katimorton]

Sorry to scare you. But I am glad you found the info helpful :) xoxo

[@Christian-ir2mb]

Kati Morton don't worry ^^

[@roxariano4953]

I never clicked so fast... I was scared when i saw the title.

[@Kafabi]

I thought Kate was leaving. It made me sad. I haven't watched her videos for a while. But still it made me sad.

[@sarahblack2850]

Right? My heart was pounding through lots of this.

[@munjiful]

Oh my fucking lord Kati that title, I freaked out I thought you were ending your channel!! My heart dropped !

[@pojemnik1]

munjiful omfg me too! I got so scared

[@ahsfangirl8711]

I was about to cry! Lol

[@Katimorton]

hahah!! I would never leave!!! xoxo

[@dunjapetrovic8598]

Kati Morton thanks 😊🙋💞💞💞

[@annikacuevas3908]

munjiful same

[@Mikey-ym6ok]

Me: I have abandonment issues and- Therapist: sir, I can't see you anymore.

[@adoblo735]

Makes me feel like i don't wanna fight anymore

[@claramercier7924]

😢

[@Malin0908]

That’s The worst. Just The tought made me start crying. I know i would be devestated it that was The case before i was ready and had healed that part of me that Get so emotionally crushed by The tought of ending things. I think it harms people if that happens before they have worked trough that fear.

[@ZrhioZ]

@@Malin0908 same here, I feel like it's awful to end things, but mostly when it comes to stop seeing people that make you feel good. I also can't think about it without crying.

[@silverbroom02]

A lot of people with attachment issues just got real antsy at this title/thumbnail!

[@Katimorton]

I know!! Totally didn't mean to upset anyone! haha! xoxo

[@saraplazinic2487]

Haha yeah I totally thought Kati is quiting KZbin xD

[@silverbroom02]

Kati Morton Maybe changing the title or thumbnail to be clearer? Intent vs impact and all that. A lot of viewers here are extremely, painfully sensitive and already dealing with a lot. I’m glad it wasn’t on purpose though!

[@bubblysmile]

I actually started crying...but I'm glad she isn't leaving KZbin!

[@Spencergrey512]

Lol, totally. My first thought was “ oh my god ( insert therapists name) is leaving me...why!!?!!!”

[@rosiesteph93]

It was so difficult when my therapist let me go. She said that she feels she has done all she can and she encourages me to seek a new kind of therapy. I moved from regular talk therapy to DBT therapy. I got a more accurate diagnosis and treatment that I needed. It hurt like a break up.. however, I now understand why she let me go.

[@milfsfilms]

i panicked for a moment kati o my lord

[@Katimorton]

Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you. xoxo Just couldn't figure out what to call it.

[@caheddr]

😂🤣. I didn’t panic, but, it made me curious. The two therapists who ended with me was 1) one felt they weren’t qualified to deal with the particular trauma, and, 2) one was changing his client focus and we had made tremendous progress together. Oddly enough, the making progress was the one that felt the strangest, yet, now, feels wonderful.

[@ponzfantasmical5715]

I had a therapist "dump me" as a teenager. It was very harmful to me because she just abruptly said "I don't think I can help you!" in a frustrated fit and that was it. She didn't have a proper conversation with me about it and encourage me to find a better fit. Because of the lack of explanation, I'm not 100% sure what her reasons were, but I'd guess lack of progress and maybe non-compliance (from her perspective only). She was the pushy type of therapist, and would even trigger panic attacks in session while trying to pressure me to do flooding by myself. I would explain to her so many times that that was too much, and her "homework" was superficial and made me feel worse. After a few months, I found a new therapist that is AMAZING!! If she suggests a solution to an issue I'm having, but it's absolutely not right for me, or I'm not ready to tackle it quite yet, I can tell her, and she says "ok." She doesn't get irritated or tell me to "just do it" like my old therapist. She's kind, patient, optimistic and flexible with her thinking. But anyhow, the reason why I'm telling my little story is to convey how important it is to clearly and kindly explain why you're stopping the treatment. If you end things in an unpleasant or emotional way, it leaves a terrible impact on the patient. I really hope most therapists are better than my old one.

[@fseesauras]

dude, a lot of therapists are abusive

[@baja1988_Texas]

Several years ago someone wrote in to Ann Landers inquiring about the chances of finding a competent therapist. She answered that it was about the same as finding a competent plumber or electrician, 50/50. Incompetent therapists need to be hounded from the profession. Please document your experience on yelp dot com, and don't be afraid to name names.

[@justanothermortal1373]

She should be discharged from service if that's the case. If she works for a clinic or hospital, let them know of he rharmful behaviour

[@tanyagioia829]

As an adult it is no less painful. Being discharged by a letter without explanation is really hurtful and dare I say cruel.

[@ponzfantasmical5715]

@@tanyagioia829 I agree that it's callous and cruel at any age, but I hope you've since been able to find a great therapist yourself. And for anyone else wondering about my OC from 4 years ago, I still have the same wonderful therapist. If you have a therapist that doesn't fit, try someone else. It's worth it to try to find the right therapist for you!

[@TheLittlealice16]

My old therapist had to end therapy with me but didnt explain properly the reasons behind her doing so... it broke my heart and for a long time meant I was both unwilling and unable to trust another therapist. Thank you for this video Kati, as always incredibly helpful and really... just reassuring I guess. xx

[@ReeReeDogProductions]

This is what I worry about. My friend had the same this happen to her. This seems like a shitty way to go about ending treatment :(

[@ta3970]

Seriously a alarming amount of these people without a doubt have one set of rules for you and your accountability and a whole other set for themselves.

[@therabbithat]

There's another reason she didn't mention in this video but did mention in another, which is that if the client has an issue that you yourself have and haven't worked through yet, you usually can't treat them. I imagine this can even be an problem if you just recently worked through your issue, because you might naturally feel like your solution MUST naturally be the same as the clients. All this being said, if my therapist ever discontinues work with me I will just assume he/she has fallen madly in love with me and needs to break off contact for the good of both of us.

[@gill426]

@@therabbithat I love your perspective. 😄 I was just crying about this whole thing so much and felt an intense despair but now that I read your comment I feel much lighter again. Haha, thank you! ;)

[@four-x-trading5606]

That’s horrible as a professional she should have took this manner in a different direction

[@guitarchick469]

I got dumped by my therapist today. Out of the blue. No warning. I hit rockbottom and I guess I became too much for them. Triggering abandonment and Core wounds. I am too much for them and so they leave. Really inappropriate to do to someone who’s in a crisis.

[@madalinamit4694]

Hey, how did you manage it back then? Going trough the same at the moment

[@logsamurai3187]

​@madalinamit4694 I've been through the same thing a couple of years ago, at the time I never planned going to therapy ever again. I wait several months and decided to try it again. I still struggle thinking about it sometimes but my new therapist and I talk about my old one still.

[@totalcontrol4205]

Another is that the therapist is not dealing with their feelings towards you...counter-transference. They may develop feelings of anger or fear or romantic love for the patient which gets in the way of treatment. It becomes unprofessional and unethical to continue and usually they will refer you to another therapist and will not tell you the reasons or fib about it.

[@dianabrown2258]

Totally agree, if you dont get a straight answer why your therapist is dropping you, it's a problem with THEM that they dont want anyone to know about

[@reachingcoldmountainbeforeyou]

This just happened to me. I'm a female Veteran, I was seeing this 70+ yr old female therapist. She does NOT like the way I think. So she said she can't help me anymore and terminated the appt 20 min early. Shes always compared me to her male relative Veterans. "Oh THEY are doing well, why aren't you.".

[@nineangels7572]

As a respectful, appreciative patient it's so frustrating to have to start all over again. Especially if you pay, have basics anxiety (pandemic issues, grief, depression) and don't see a valid reason for being dismissed. It crushes us.

[@bryson9235]

My therapist didn't end therapy but I was medically discharged from the military and she did research to find me a new one which was great!!!! Awesomeness all up in this video!!!! Love ya kati❤️

[@Katimorton]

YAY! I am so glad she helped you find another one :) That's what we are supposed to do!! xxoxo

[@vippaolo5498]

Bryson same exact situation but she found one that was just so tough so i went to another and she was nice so i liked her

[@ZaynBrando]

GUYS THUMBS THIS UP SO KATI KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE HER!!

[@Katimorton]

Awe :) xoxo

[@krystalwyatt6859]

My therapist and dietician gave me a letter one day and said they were not seeing me anymore due to reasons 2 and 3. They knew I could not afford higher levels of care. It was so sudden, it sent me reeling way back into the eating disorder and I got so much worse. I’ve never felt so hurt and alone in my life. Don’t they have to give you a couple more sessions to terminate? From my perspective, this rule is not ethical at all. I went from seeing both my therapist and dietician each week to no support at all, which was harmful to me.

[@sophiapelletti1348]

Thiss!!!!!!!!

[@dawngreenwood6034]

When I get depressed I don't want to go anywhere so I miss my appointments. I stopped taking my medication because it's not working. I never follow through on anything. It's been a life long habit. I wish I knew how to change my behavior and attitude. When I get discouraged I shut down and it frustrates people including my therapist and Dr.

[@pepper70788]

Donnettia Mayer been there. I had friends come with me/drive me and talked to my therapist about this tendency of mine. I also did phone therapy that I didn't have to leave my house.

[@1Eilatan]

Tell this to your counsellor! It's surprising how understanding they can be when you tell them this! If it's too hard to say aloud, then screencap it and print it off and show them! It's amazing how many concessions they will make when they know this is the reason you are skipping or why you've stopped taking your medication. Change starts here with this comment and letting them know this truth.

[@dawngreenwood6034]

1Eilatan I do tell them but they don't think I'm serious about wanting help. I do want help. They took 2 of my kids because of my bipolar and borderline personality disorder. I just feel like I just don't care anymore because no one cares about what I'm going through. I just want to give up sometimes but I have to keep going for my daughter. I don't want to lose her too.

[@Katimorton]

Maybe when you are feeling a bit better you could open up to them about that.. and let them know that that's what you do. When you aren't in it.. you may be able to figure out why that's your response and work to better fight against it. xoxo

[@phillipmorales8213]

This actually just happened to me last week. My therapist that I've been seeing for almost a year decided that I would be better off seeing another therapist because we weren't making any progress anymore. I admit that it hurt me a lot to hear that and made me feel like I failed in someway. However I want to believe that this is what is best for me so I'm going to try to see where this leads.

[@1Eilatan]

Good on you! Sometimes people don't mesh with their counsellors and it's hard and makes things stall. You need to find someone right for you. Kati has some videos about why therapy sessions may stall, you should give them a look.

[@theshinythings123]

I had the same experience. Therapy didn't help at all. Medication is what really helped me get a lot better.

[@jrg305]

I've been seeing my therapist for 7 years. One on one and group. He isn't ever going to break up with me and I flat out tell him it is about the money but he says he slides his pay scale for me and could get other patients. He is a modern analytic. This woman seems textbook CBT/DBT, which seems academic to me. I express anger toward him regularly. It seems like this woman has thin skin and can't tolerate hatred of her by a patient. I have authority issues and especially with women so I'd just own her in a session. No offense lady, you seem nice, but I don't think we would be a good fit except for me to experience transference toward you with my issues, which could be helpful for me but stressful for you.

[@Shy__wolf]

My heart fell at the title of this video. Trying to get back in to see a counsellor or therapist again after even 2 years break is hard for someone with bpd. I've been rejected twice from a popular place which is worldwide because they say they can't help and with someone who has borderline personality disorder really knocks me down further and makes me feel more useless than I already did. The stigma for people with bpd needs to change. I'm now studying psychology and counselling at university level. I'm hoping to learn and teach others. Xox

[@thereseoconnor8897]

Rainbow Butterfly I have BPD. I had an amazing year and a few months with a mental health nurse. I relapsed bad in March and it was really an eye opener to see how much she cared. She never gave up on me. We had a conversation about treatment resistance; we with BPD aren't stubborn. We're scared and the fear of abandonment gets in the way of our progess. I have been discharged from my nurse, not because I'm noncomliant, but because I'm well on my way in recovery. I will always have BPD and now I have a lot of skills to help me cope. Best of luck to you.

[@Shy__wolf]

Therese O'Connor yeah. The counsellor I was trying to see again as she's known me for years cares about me bit unfortuantly her boss refuses to let me see her. I haven't done anything for them to do this. Im doing better and I'm dealing with having bpd better than I was over a year ago.

[@kathaa-b6972]

The most important thing is that the therapist clearly communicates the reason(s) for ending therapy. I had a therapist who 'surprised' me with not wanting to make new appointments and just vaguely recommended to consider inpatient treatment, handed me some leaflets and said goodbye ;). Not really helpful.

[@caitlinquinn79]

Panicked because I thought this meant Kati was leaving!

[@amandashea5214]

Caitlin Quinn SAME

[@regina9756]

I thought that too.. But I am glad that I was wrong :)

[@ahsfangirl8711]

I did as well!

[@youkai888]

same

[@deeniemcqueen]

Why?

[@angko-pe]

I have never felt as rejected and alone as when my therapist said she would have to refer me to someone else. It was heartbreaking, but we talked it through and realised what was going on and we're trying to move forward now.

[@juliejealousy]

A change in health insurance can be a reason too! That's what happened to me :(

[@Katimorton]

Oh yeah!! I didn't even think of that. Ugh.. insurance is so freaking annoying!! :( thanks for sharing!!

[@sandravovin]

Yup, it is annoying. The best therapist from here has no contract with my insurance group, so either I pay for it with my own money (quite expensive) or find another one but the problem is, they're not so good and they're often not even therapists, just psychologists who can give me an appointment once in three months and not every week. Although I don't need therapy, I still insist on seeing a therapist because they have more experience and more education on how to work with the actual patients.Psychology itself is too general and theoretical here.

[@DrumWild]

That is actually one of the most SHAMEFUL aspects of American health care. I had a change in insurance, after losing my job and going on Obamacare. No therapist wanted to help me. They all complained about how "nobody is going to tell them how much or little money they can make." So I had to wait another year, get on Medi-Cal, and then I was able to get a therapist. The minute I get a job and make too much money to be on Medi-Cal, is the same minute that I will be dumped by my therapist, and I will fall through the cracks. For other reasons, I'm ditching my therapist, so this will not be a concern. But I think it's horrible how much medical insurance, greed, and outrageous system requirements get in the way of people getting better. It does nothing but harm society more.

[@Roadent1241]

First time my therapy stopped, I turned 18 and had been waiting for 2 years since I signed up at 15. This time my 8 sessions are over, and I started in Jan so it should have ended well before now but this therapist wasn't very reliable. May or may not go and sign up again and wait another 7+ months to get another round.

[@jewgatsby3387]

my very first therapist refused to see me after only two sessions because I didn't want to get on medication. The reason I was so against it is because she had only met me once before saying "Hey, you need meds" and it all felt too fast. Needless to say, that kinda made me not want to go back to therapy.

[@DrumWild]

Good call. Meds can be a valuable tool, but at the same time I think there are WAY too many pill pushers out there who want to write a script and make an extra bucks. If only there were some kind of ethics in medicine.

[@dianabrown2258]

I had a psychiatrist who accidentally revealed in court that she was indeed prescribing everybody more meds than they needed because she felt pressured by her pharma rep...this therapist dropping you was a blessing in disguise

[@bulletproofdiamondwinstar9470]

My therapist diagosed me with manic depression and prescribed meds for me after one session. I think they sorta help. I was just not consistent enough, skipping meds here and there to save some money.

[@alaah4183]

Some people have severe illness that they need meds before starting the therapy (sometimes temporary) in order to make the therapy easy for the patient to take and to progress better.

[@lorrainecortes7296]

EmptyGin good for believing in yourself of what you need, I had to take a antidepressant and I had 3 different Physciatrists whom neglected to wean me off the medication and now I suffer from high blood pressure from the medication.

[@zoeparasiliti4382]

I just got fired by my psych. I felt so rejected and confused. I am currently relapsing with Anorexia and my spiral is going very fast. So this is very comforting. Thank you for sharing.

[@therabbithat]

"not doing homework" Awww! That puts a lot of pressure on someone, I assume if they are working 40+ hours or if they have severe depression or anxiety they get more leniency with this?

[@SweetBrownGirl]

I don't have homework, but it would be nice to have it though.

[@MissssSofie]

I was just wondering about this earlier today! It's like you read my mind!

[@Katimorton]

Yay! I hope it was helpful :) xoxo

[@CarlybutreallyBATMANBraverman]

I read the video title and knew exactly what you meant but thought it was funny. **thumbs up**

[@sizzyification]

Now, apart from abandonment problems ( which I know ALL too well) I just would like to say that therapists can be difficult and all too efficient themselves, ....in fact, even well-meaning, ready-to-oblige patients can be shocked sometimes, what degree of compliance therapists apparently expect.

[@philipjfrys]

Your videos are so helpful! It makes me feel less anxious about my first every therapy appointment after a decade long break!

[@68PieceDrumKit]

I have subscribed to you because you are so down to earth. You can see your honesty. The people that do get to see you are quite lucky. You make a difference. 🕊

[@MarianneBarrientez]

So relieved this is not a "Quitting KZbin" video. YOU SCARED ME KATI!

[@Katimorton]

I would never. I plan on doing KZbin until I am old and grey.. xoxo haha!

[@hannahl4748]

loved this video☺️thanks Kati. thank you for everything you do for our community, we really do appreciate it x

[@hazelsunderstood6784]

I really appreciate this list. I am always worried that I will let myself and my therapist down by not doing the homework. Now I have more of a reason to try hard to get better. I do not want to lose a good therapist or fall back into bad things. I really want to get better. It's really hard to try sometimes. This list will help motivate me to keep working hard. Thank you

[@ChasyHalliwell]

My heart just about dropped when I saw the title of this video!!! But so glad you made a video about this, I'm currently afraid of IOP kicking me out because I just can't bring myself to open up. You videos are always so helpful!!!!!

[@Katimorton]

Yay! I am so glad it was helpful :) Sorry to scare you with the title. xoxo

[@nataliemccormick6947]

You’re literally my favorite KZbinr. I want to be a therapist someday, and you are my biggest inspiration. I hope someday I can be as awesome of a therapist as you, Kati. 💛

[@kotathatsme]

Some other reasons: if countertransference affects the treatment negatively; and if there is a dual relationship.

[@beccak3813]

That title scared me. My heart jumped for a minute there. I literally dropped what I was doing when I looked at my phone haha. Now I have to watch the video over again because after I figured out there was nothing to worry about, I couldn't focus on what you were saying because my mind kept going to what the world would be like if you actually did ever stop this. Oh Kati...

[@borupasaribu]

Put off watching this because I thought it's really gonna be the end and I didn't think I could handle it, yesterday being a bad day. Feel a bit better today so went on to watch this. So glad it wasn't a real farewell, phew. I never comment before but, Kati, your videos on depression and suicide prevention had been a great help for me this past year, having to deal with these issues on my own, without access to therapy or any support group. Please know I am truly grateful for everything that you have done through this channel.

[@chelseas6991]

I was sooo upset when my therapy finished I personally didn't feel like I was ready.. Turned out I needed higher care I have psychosis

[@chelseas6991]

I'm now on quetriapine makes me feel sooo exhausted when I first have them (at night) the next day I'm like a completely different person lol their amazing

[@funeralslay]

This was so helpful! Thank you☺️

[@Katimorton]

Yay! I am so glad :) xoxo

[@marjoleinvaningen7686]

The only experience I have with a therapist that stopped seeing me was when she left. She told it in my last session with her. Still kind of mad about that...

[@AscendedMasculine]

Well done Kati. I've had to terminate with a couple of clients over the years. It sucks, but unfortunately it's part of the process.

[@DrumWild]

He's actually a SCAM ARTIST who goes into how to go from $100k of debt to being a millionaire in just one year. He's basically a Narcissist scam artist, just like the other Narcs in my past who have ripped me off. He will never be ashamed of himself, even as he pretends to be a peer with Kati.

[@madds3129]

um my heart dropped when i saw the title 😂😭😭 i love your content it helps me so much! please continue what you’re doing ❣️

[@jparsons1974]

You didn't mention the idea that client has gotten better and does not need you any more!

[@josephscully4548]

I went to a therapist because I was being abused and neglected by my narcissistic mother. The therapist didn't believe me at all when I said my mother was narcissistic. She didn't seem to have any real experience with people on that spectrum. It ended when the therapist told me I was abusive and therefore couldn't see me anymore. I then started seeing another therapist and am hoping to go again soon.

[@magnolia31611]

I'm really glad you did this video, my husband and are planning on going to marriage counseling in the new year, and I am also planning on doing individual therapy, and didn't think about the fact that I wouldn't be able to see the same therapist for both. I'll keep that in mind as we move forward, so we can figure out our best course of action.

[@maddisonanne8919]

THE TITLE OMG! I thought you were leaving KZbin Kati!!! I am glad it was NOT that video!!! This was a truly a great video Kati! So much good info!! Thank you!!!

[@polachelliot91]

I'm glad I'm not the only subscriber that thought Ms. Kati was leaving KZbin! :-) I was watching another channel I'm subscribed to but when the title of this video scrolled across my notification marquee I immediately stopped what I was doing, muted my TV, quieted my boyfriend, closed the currently playing video and opened this one. Definitely glad she isn't going anywhere!!! Aside from that: All 6 reasons for client discharge Kati listed seem to be broadly utilized as acceptable stipulations in a provider-patient terms of service agreement across the board not only in the mental health specialty but in every other facet of medicine, too, with the only exception being emergency departments (at least in the United States where anyone can go to the emergency department of any hospital in any location with confidence in knowing they will receive the best, most expedient care that specific emergency department is capable of provosing regardless of their emergency, ability to pay, citizenship status, background, mental health even if they're being detained by the police and are being evaluated for possible 51/50 involuntary hospitalization for dangerous behavior or for any other federally protected reason including, but not limited to; age, race, ethnicity, gender, sex, sexual orientation, religion and an endless list of other reasons).

[@emmablackwell37]

Kati I just want to say thank you for everything you do and for being you. Thank you for making videos and being simply amazing. Your videos help me more than you probably know. When I'm having a bad day your videos always help me so thank you. Lots of love❤❤❤❤

[@jackk5989]

Love the video, but I also like the Patreon shoutout at the end. The little click noise is oddly satisfying and the animation is very slick.

[@Katimorton]

Oh yay!! Thanks!! Sean worked on that.. I will let him know :) I thought it was pretty cool too!! haha!!

[@GetPsyched]

Interesting video Kati, and very important to have this discussion. We often look into why clients stop therapy but why a therapists stops therapy is interesting. I think ethics are a huge thing here, something I think a therapist knows that the most has been gotten from therapy and so it has to stop. Thanks so much for this!

[@Roadent1241]

I can say the only reason my one real time of therapy stopped is because I turned 18, and I had waited for 2 years after signing up at 15 for it in the first place. This time if Therapy stops on Monday it'll be because my 8 sessions are up, if I decide to wait another 7+ months for another round of sessions I'm gonna get a different therapist, this one was just all over the place. (Mainly not turning up for appointments and not phoning the clinic until my appointment time when I had already been there half an hour because it's a long drive to the place, everything's in the sticks here.)

[@TuckerTheReader]

I was honest, did my homework and took my meds. But my therapist suggested I go to the hospital but we couldn't because we were snowed in. She freaked out and thought I was refusing to go to the hospital. She refused to see me anymore. It broke my heart

[@johnaskings527]

I would classify all of these as boundaries. In a therapy setting, boundaries are necessary in order for a safe and open space to exist. I have been in therapy for 15+ years. When I moved cross country, I went to the phycologist and psychiatrist (they were in the same clinic) recommended by my insurance. The therapist was warm, patient, looked thru the work I had been doing, and created a plan for us. Basically, it was a healthy system. The psychiatrist, however, made significant changes to my medication. He switched me from Seroquel to lithium. I was then prescribed both Xanax and Xanax xr apart the same time. He added an antidepressant. Then he added lamictal to balance the antidepressant. Then he added Risperdal. When my moods started swinging more, he added Depakote and increased my lithium. I ended up hospitalized for lithium poisoning and was triggered into a full manic episode with psychosis. The lithium poisoning wrecked my balance, which still hasn't completely recovered, and I have tinnitus. The manic episode pasted nearly two weeks. It was literally hell. When I got home from the hospital, I was served a letter from the psychiatrist and therapist saying I am not welcomed there anymore. I was then served a restraining warning from communicating or approaching them. I was barely able to walk, was in physical therapy, emotionally exhausted, and at a completely loss of what to do. Luckily, the physical therapist knew of a psychologist group with an excellent reputation, the only draw back was that their M.D.'s and therapists usually had lengthy wait times. I gave them a call and after they heard my predicament, got me in quickly. Needless to say, he took me off of nearly everything, rerouted to Seroquel, Lamictal, and a low dose of Xanax only for anxiety/panic attacks. He got me with a primary care doctor who began treating me blood pressure and blood sugar. The previous psychiatrist continually said that those were all in my head. My new therapist has been fantastic. I guess I am saying this because for all the good apples or there, sometimes you find a poisoned one. I didn't listen to my inner voice that he was not respecting boundaries. He didn't like when I questioned him. He didn't like when I told him about side effects. I paid the price. I still have flashbacks, but I can deal with them. I just wish I had walked away when those boundaries were first ignored.

[@Genericgamergimli]

thank you for this. I'm about to start therapy for the first time after getting referred by a doctor and this is really useful. so thanks!!

[@Just-Darcy]

Can you make a video about reinforcement in therapy? My therapist is always talking about it. Like how me going to a residential level of care is reinforcing because I enjoy the support and safety. And how seeing me more often when I am doing poorly is reinforcing too.

[@TheGhostGirlBubgenne]

Well, I'm glad you aren't stopping, I only just subscribed.

[@jgnmtz]

I’ve had both good and bad therapists. Some are basically “ how does that mak you feel” ..but the good ones dig a bit, ask where you want to go and how you see that improving

[@Potato-uh9gv]

Thanks so much for making this video. My therapist has referred me out for DBT and I've been feeling really bummed and hurt about it. But I've realized it's because she cares enough about me to want me to get the right treatment, not because I've failed her or because she doesn't like me. I guess it'd be like seeing a dermatologist about your skin cancer - they're not equipped to deal with that and they're gonna have to send you to an oncologist, someone who specializes in cancer. It's not that you're untreatable or they don't like you, it's just that they aren't equipped to help you with that kind of problem.

[@Karen-vl7vf]

Thanks this eases a lot of worries for me. I'm glad you'll still see us though :)

[@dstuart2918]

I like what you said in another video--a therapist is really only there to be an empathetic listener. They will not solve your problems, etc. even really make any reccomendations beyond basic feedback. Two that did were massively off base. I wish you guys would track progress more and keep us on track with our stated goals. Hardly any therapist I've had over 30 years off and on on different cities EVER wrote a treatment plan. Two Ivy League psychologists in there too.

[@ivankastle8092]

I know many people have said this already. I had a mini-heart attack when I saw the title. Your videos have greatly helped me improve as a person and I would have been really sad if that was the case. Really informative video! To be honest, I did wonder at some point about these reasons. Love your work, Kati. Keep it up!

[@justsomeawesomeperson6396]

Well, I’m wondering if there are good reasons to stop therapy yourself. I quit therapy about 9 months ago now, and i made things better on my own. When i was getting therapy, it was forced on me, and I’ve always hated it. I think i therapy could still help me, but with my past experiences i just feel like it won’t do any good for me. Anyway, before i go off rambling about everything, what are reasons to stop therapy yourself?

[@cellogirl11rw55]

Just Some Random Person I broke it off with my last therapist because I wasn't getting what I needed out of my sessions, and I found someone who was able to help me more.

[@justsomeawesomeperson6396]

cellogirl11RW I’m glad you found a better one.

[@viperchic78]

I stopped seeing my last therapist because he insisted on continuing work on an issue I was having no problems with and he wouldn't help with the issues I was really struggling with. He didn't care to take care of real problems. I've "fired" a few others as well. It basically came down to the fact that I didn't feel they were able to help me any further. There should be open communication from both sides and you should feel your issues are being addressed and you're being helped.

[@NEATERTICK]

Just Some Random Person Amen

[@DTWJLife]

viperchic78 This happened to me too, but I just rolled with it in a plaquating way in order to finally get to the actual root of my problem which was mentioned up front.

[@alicranney1056]

kati, i seriously love you so much. your videos have helped me so much. i just want to give you a hug lol

[@shannonobrien2572]

Thank you Kati. Your videos always have important information. 🌸

[@craiglycke6170]

I like your channel a lot. You ask and answer tough questions. Thanks for putting out good content on a format dominated by junk.

[@starchaic6446]

Great video (you spooked everyone with that title Kati) as usual!! Also, I think I would be really cool if you could do a video on something like finding your romantic/sexual identity and how that relates to finding a healthy relationship! Or something along the lines of how to be confident in your new identity etc. etc.

[@pfinhulk6726]

I remember when I was in Therapie in grade 6 or so, because my parents felt like I needed help with organisation and because I had some problems with social situations. After some time, I actually lied about all the organization things that they have gotten better... Maybe I felt forced to do these things and just didn't wanted to do them... But the therapist didn't care, or just didn't say anything about that again, even after talking with my parents. We were just focusing better on social things, where I myself wanted to get better, and there it really helped me, because I wanted a change.

[@cynthiawilson6981]

Think you for being YOU Katie

[@mariellasabrina8261]

perfect time for this kind of video since I actually came to that point with my therapist the other week. She wants me to go back to inpatient treatment.. I don't want to.. so I basically have no treatment at all now.. and my ED is getting worse again from day to day.. but she also said I may have to hit rock bottom to realize how sick I really am.

[@skylarrush9636]

Freaked out at the title. Thought you were leaving YT and were going to stop making vids. Thank gosh you aren’t. Love your vids and this was a super informative video.

[@heretic124]

I for one thought this will be a video about burning bridges with toxic people around.

[@blairdean9545]

Hey Kati! Do you think you could make a video that talks about PTSD related to accidents? It seems like the vast majority of PTSD patients have experienced abuse or were in the military; however, I developed it after an ATV accident. -Thanks a bunch!

[@TheBinski]

Good question? I had a float accident (not driving) and only my horse barely made it out. All humans fine but never experienced anything like that. Also lost a close friend in a motorbike accident. These are not even the traumas I'm in therapy for but they've certainly stuck around. GOOD QUESTION! xoxoxoxox I'm so sorry. :( I hope you have someone professional and GOOD to talk to. xoxoxoxox

[@Katimorton]

I am so sorry that that happened to you :( But I totally can make a video about it.. the only thing to keep in mind is that no matter what actually happened to us, we have the same trauma response. Meaning that whether it was war or an accident, our brain responds the same. In other words, to our brain, a trauma is a trauma. xoxo

[@blairdean9545]

Thank you so much, Kati!! I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!! You’re the best!

[@TheBinski]

Ay. This is what my psychologist says and what the books say. We have smart and very adaptable brains. Thanks you two. 😀

[@NatureHeadSupreme]

1 week my therapist told me she was there for me, shes a safe space and not going anywhere. The next week she told me she couldnt help me & had referals......because she helped more than hurt, I didnt pursue reporting her. That s* is dangerous. I should still report her...

[@paigewarren2024]

I thought you were gonna stop posting after I saw the title of this weekend. my heart dropped and I got so scared.

[@CLOVER71932]

that's a relief. when i saw the title i thought you were leaving youtube

[@shannonw.6276]

P.T. - Oh my Goodness! I thought the same thing! I even put off watching the video until I had taken my meds/vit.'s & had quiet time to watch it! WOW - would that be a classic ex. of "catastrophizing" and "dramatizing"? 2 (of many) skills I'm practicing, at the suggestion of my great psychiatrist. We love you Dr. Kati! (In a healthy boundary way). I guess there's no uncreepy way to say that after this video, but I believe y'all understand. Anyway, I have so many therapy stories. And questions. But hell, this ain't Sister Shannon's blogging hour and I've dman near written a novella as it is. God Bless all y'all. Never stop fighting your illness.

[@ayladelphine3794]

I thought you were going to stop KZbin and I was about to cry. Still a great video.

[@JoesVinylShow1980]

I guess my last therapist was scared of me. I told him I had bad anger issues and was a misanthropist. He seemed nervous and squirmed a lot. I never yelled at him. I cussed, but not at him. I never physically threatened him. I don't think he should be working with veterans. I wasn't the kind that suddenly had a flashback and went psycho because of PTSD. He got really nervous when I just talked about my last experience on the rifle range. The range was not in a combat zone.

[@Owly-iu5vr]

Hey kati are you able to talk about situational depression and if you witness abuse/ domestic abuse? Thankyou for other videos😊💛

[@abrahamcavazos1984]

This information was very good to know. Thank you Kati

[@viktoriajungst9982]

Thank you. Your video made my day. You are the best ❤️

[@mayravargas1614]

It's crazy I watched this when it came out 4 days ago, and my therapist just dropped the I won't be apart of this agency anymore, and I won't be seeing you anymore. I didn't know how to feel. I guess I was kinda shocked. Is it normal to feel super sad like you're almost losing a friend? He was a great therapist, and its gonna suck having to start over with someone new. 😔

[@MayonnaiseJane]

I'm skeptical about #6. I never got anywhere in therapy with any individual I ever had until the family therapist I was seeing with my mother started seeing us individually far more often than together (and eventually only individually.) She was able to actually help me work through the crap that everyone else said was just a distorted perception on my part.

[@ZaynBrando]

YO - I LOVE YOU

[@VLoveTarot]

Stopping by to say hello. I found you in the youtube magazine. Happy holidays!!

[@alexandriatomlin951]

I find that when I’m not in therapy or actively receiving treatment, I want to get better. But the moment I receive help (therapy, residential, inpatient, php) I freak out and do everything I can to go against what my team are helping me with. I don’t know what to do...because right now I want to overcome my eating disorder 100% but I know as soon as I schedule anything for therapy and arrive at my first session, my mindset will completely change. My last therapist kept trying to convince me I needed a higher level of care for my eating disorder and after a couple appointments of her saying this and me not listening, she said that during my next session with her if I haven’t chosen to look into the idea of a higher level of care...that she would be forced to talk with my mom about it to ensure I’m getting the care I need. So I freaked out and cancelled all appointments I made with her and never went back. I told my mom that my therapist thought I was doing much better and didn’t need therapy as often anymore. WHY AM I SO RESISTANT TO TREATMENT?! I feel like I deserve treatment or am “sick enough” to receive help UNTIL I actually get the help. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ it’s frustrating and it’s ruining my chances for treatment in the future. **The inpatient facility I always go to has gotten so frustrated with this that and the doctor I always get assigned that he said I can’t come back until it’s been a year. And if I try he won’t accept me. He’s probated me before because of pulling out my ng tube and when I left it in refusing to let them put anything through it (even water).** I feel like this is my life now, I’ll always be stuck in the cycle of my eating disorder.

[@aischaaa9811]

Thank you for sharing your Videos with us, it really helps

[@Jc22ny]

Another great informative video! I do wonder though if some therapist use these reasons as a cop-out. They simply dont like you and use one of these reasons to get out of treating you.

[@gogumarshmallow]

i didnt know #6. im looking for individual therapy and couple therapy in the future. thank you for the heads up. I appreciate your videos and efforts. thank you :)

[@jypsridic]

The fear of 'lack of progress' is what scares me the most about therapy. I know that a lot of pain lies along that path, even thinking about it hurts, but I also believe that what's broken in me is unfixable, at least without a chemical lobotomy. There are a few logistical issues too, but in the end the rewards don't seem worth the risk.

[@EloiseEighteen]

This is pretty perfect timing for me. I've just been dropped my my ASD team after 3 years. I guess it falls under the 'out of the scope of practice'...except they never referred me when they had the opportunities so now I'm under a crisis team (I'm not in crisis) until my local mental health team can find me a care coordinator (I'm in the UK, I have to be under a doctor somewhere due to meds and this is the only team avaliable.) Overall I feel ok about it, I might find something that helps me more (I've just been diagnosed with CPTSD) but I'm feeling let down by the way it has been done (no goodbye appointment, no closure etc.). I've requested my notes so I can understand the decision more fully (given I have ASD understanding things in depth is my main way of coping with things) however the service manager has gone from being caring and actually offering excessive input to shutting down all communication. I'm thinking of it a bit like a grieving process, since I won't get to say goodbye, I will never see my psychologist again and I spent 3 years being open with her.

[@AnubisFinchANUBIS]

Please could you make a video about arithmomania? A lot of people don't know about it and I would love for more people to be educated on it! Love you & your videos - thanks a lot xx

[@rust44]

charlifinch Yes and aboulomania.

[@aliceg2890]

Thank you so much for this video!! It’s has helped me so much and has eased my anxiety about it!! 💜💜💜 quick question how do I better manage after effects of flashbacks? 💜💜💜

[@singinwithceline]

I’m disabled and sadly it snows here a ton. That makes it hard to get out of the house, so normally my therapist and I just play it by ear. Sometimes I’ll take a break until the snow melts.

[@DasiaBlue]

The title made me so anxious omg

[@hollylou-dk5wl]

Love your videos! Im going through some shit atm, as is everyone and u really help, don't quite know how or why 😂 but you do👊💞

[@DTWJLife]

I had a therapist see myself and another family member seperately, but because she was unable to differeniate the sessions and dynamics therein, she ended up lashing out at my family member when we were both in the waiting room. We were both completely disgusted with her severe reaction and just ended up leaving before the both of us could have a session together; which is what we were working toward. Now I see why it's best that doesn't happen. I think by now professionals who care enough to see the fine details (like you had described in this video), should probably avoid this issue. I could end up blowing up into something quite awful instead of healing both parties. Thank you for your insights. I also subscribed.

[@DTWJLife]

*It could end up blowing up...

[@Kairian1994]

I had a therapist who worked with my county. And they only give you a year of therapy until you have to find a new therapist even if you are doing terrible. It’s thru the county so they make the “rules”. After you see them and they let you go. you can come back after 6 months of no treatment. And they claim that it is because of the high volume of people trying to seek therapy. This is why my therapist stopped seeing me. Not because of her or myself. But the county. Basically government. The next therapist is 15 miles away and isn’t covered by insurance. So this is my struggle.