Why Criticism Can Hurt so Much

[@janinearmstrong8797]

It takes a lot to learn how to protect your inner child that wasn't protected by adults in the past. But I'm hopeful.

[@Leo-mr1qz]

It certainly does. The lack of comforting support in the past is hard to overcome, indeed.

[@m2pozad]

Right on Oprah!

[@ashishshah6730]

Beautifully said.

[@JoyceMwangama]

Facts

[@LuliLulu]

**hugs** 😌

[@TEAforMIND]

Whatever we do, "good" or "bad", people will have something negative to say. “Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.” - Frank A. Clark

[@Leo-mr1qz]

80% don't care about your problems & 20% are happy you have them.

[@Leo-mr1qz]

@Frizzle Chops I agree with you 1000%!

[@BXLrules]

Thank you

[@arsplastiques]

I've never heard this quote before, thank you for sharing it.

[@Slave4urself]

@@Leo-mr1qz Les Brown.

[@justaroach5633]

"We already hate ourselves so much more than our worst enemies will" That is deep

[@parkchimmy_cherrycuties7474]

That's right. No matter our enemies, no matter our fights, no matter are. The pain can't be described in destructive ways can't really. Perhaps the pain is ascribing so many ways 1000 ways. Perhaps it can't be described in a way it feels... It's like.....

[@DemetriPanici]

*"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." - Marcus Aurelius*

[@OXSkuldream]

This is very true, although when constant criticism is all you're hearing it's a little more difficult lol

[@trinaq]

Precisely, we have the power to control our own destinies.

[@liul]

Well, that works for some people in some situations, but some events are too hard for our minds to deal with them. We're not omnipotent and we may need help to be strong.

[@BrandonSallinger]

“Realize this, and you will find strength.” Not a perfect life. Not inner peace or nirvana. Strength. Because that’s all you need sometimes.

[@samsaarahgjhg1458]

this is an economy very few are willing to engage in. hence the replies to your comment....

[@tubeyou89119]

One tip to avoid overreacting when receiving criticism: think carefully about the other person's intention and whether objectively the criticism is helpful to our improvement. It's not easy and takes maturity, but worth it. On the other hand, we should try to be sensitive when giving criticism, make our good intentions clear and focus on the behaviour not the person.....haha. .. I am reciting from parenting books I read.

[@AstroRoxy]

Good stuff, I like that thinking!

[@adrianortiz8751]

I love how this was worded! Providing perspective from inward and outward.

[@kaidanalenko5222]

Should comment that on youtubers who deleted ANY negative comments whether its valid or not 🤣 They painstakingly monitored 24/7 the comment section and sometimes disable the like and dislike button just to protect their fragile ego 🤣🤣 Why people today turns to be overly sensitive

[@rosaclick1995]

Some people criticise others for their own ego boost.

[@asspencil]

Seven months ago, yes, but, I don't think it's like that. I mean, it is, sometimes. But there are people who just feel like ruining other lives, for absolutely no reason. This world is chaos and everybody is messed up, so I assume that's why. But criticism hurts like hell, so in my case, it's pointless to try fighting it off when it'll keep coming. So I just gave up and accepted I'm a piece of shit, that is not really all that bad.

[@TheJimprez]

I spent 8 years living with my brother when I was a kid. It took me 30 years to get over the daily insults and being brought down incessantly. Words DO HURT! I haven't seen that psychopath in over 10 years and its the best gift I ever gave myself.

[@sleepylol2054]

Lol he’s ur brother…

[@Vecio.Nandes]

Hostility from older brothers is appointed as one factor which causes male homosexuality; besides the hostile atitude of a neglectful and emotionally unavailable father.

[@dtrf6612]

@@sleepylol2054 you dont own anything to anyone just because youre related. You choose youre family :)

[@vl2663]

If you had to endure shit like that from him and now you’re better off it sounds like you were being emotionally abused. And no, you shouldn’t just love and accept that “that’s just the way things are” because they’re your family. Abuse is abuse no matter who it comes from.

[@69LOLIN]

Congrats for that gift to yourself!💕

[@PPGandRRBfan]

This brought up a memory of the first job I worked at. The boss and half of the colleagues were toxic. I would get extra jobs to do, yelled at, even got money taken off my paycheck for mistakes I couldn't avoid since I was doing work for two or three people. I often cried in the bathroom just to get myself together and to continue working with a smile (which was mandatory). One day I couldn't hold it anymore and I broke down in front of my already frustrated boss. It made her even more angry. She yelled how pathetic and weak I was for crying. That escalated into my first ever panic attack. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack and she just walked out of the room. Few days later they fired me. It made me become scared of criticism as I convinced myself I wasn't a good enough employee. Few years later I found out on the TV news that their company was shut down as they were abusing people for years before and after I worked there. Criticism from a person in power can be dangerous for anyone's mental well-being when it's given continuously and disrespectfully. If anyone reading this is in a similar situation, I hope you find a way to leave. You health and your life is more important.

[@Itsnotanymore-ku7dz]

I’m very proud of you for surviving workplace narcissism like that

[@vl2663]

Jesus Christ. I was literally going to say that sounds like abuse before you mentioned it. So glad you got out of there.

[@thefunkyJ]

How awful. I'm sorry that you had to go through that

[@BabyWavv]

Did we work at the same place ? because this is scary familiar to what happened at my first job when i was 16-17. I was hired to be a fry cook but was for whatever reason put on the register where we were expected to put on a smile and come up with clever phrases to notify guess that the food was ready. I was very nervous (this is also around the time I discovered I had mental health imbalances) id cry in the bathroom for my entire breaks and would randomly go the the restroom just to breathe deeply because the social anxiety associated with the large crowds we'd bring in. one day i just had enough. a few days prior I didn't make my HS basketball team because one of the coaches didn't like me and I didn't know why but the others loved me and my drive to get better and how id support my teammates. so I went to work, we were closing and one of my managers was a cheerleader and girlfriend of a varsity player. She mocked how i kept missing the garbage can as i was cleaning my station and throwing things away "i see why you didn't make it you cant shoot to save your life... oooops" and walked away... So i finished cleaning and went to take the garbage out (which wasn't my job I did it anyway to get a quick smoke in(Weed then a Cig)) and as i was coming back in from the freezing Chicago December outside she "jokingly" threw a empty box at my head and said "missed a spot (laughed) that's how you get on target" or some shit like that and i lost it COMPLETE APE SHIT LOST IT. i threw it back at her snatched my name tag off balled up my shirt and threw it away screaming F this F you F LIFE etc... my Supervisors were in the back counting sales and heard the commotion and rushed out to see and calm me down but there wasn't a calm thought in my spirit lol i called my ride and before i left i remember grabbing the [LINE STARTS HERE] standing sign and launching it over the counter towards her ... a friend of mine who was in the same gang as her brothers and boyfriend and also worked there and was training me advised me to just leave now and that he'd explain everything to the boss and the guys if she said anything (saved my life really) so i left and started walking to the shopping strip that surrounded the place where i realized it was 11:30p and everything was just about closed so i stood in the cold for 30 mins waiting for my ride to find me .. moral of the lecture: If its toxic just leave its not worth the problems over reacting to gaslighting can bring

[@leattts6602]

You are loved. Never forget that.

[@AstroRoxy]

Criticism hurts when we ourselves are under confident, scared or worried that we might mess up and also when we try too hard but it is not received in the same way because of some misunderstandings. I have developed higher self respect, self confidence and self compassion so that I can navigate through life without being so worried all the time.

[@fallux1236]

Wauw! That is both amazing! I don't want to go detailed in my private life. But I got mentally really hurt multiple times, cause of little confidence and scared. I finally see now that I need to ease off on myself and to take the progress to respect myself and to have more confidence in the real world (socially and exploring), to expand my comfort zone, to have enthusiastically fun. However, saying this all I really don't know where to start with this. Which can lead to forgetting this goal and holding on to the same spot. I don't want to forget this time around. So what I'm asking is, what strategy and search words (words to use to search for the results among this subject) did you use? What made you feel more self-respected, confident and more compassionate?

[@nadiaelsa3850]

Can i ask how you do that? Cause i have trouble to do that.

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

I have also learned to take criticism as a learning opportunity rather than a personal attack. I remind myself that no one is perfect and that it's okay to make mistakes sometimes. I try to see criticism as a way to improve and grow rather than as a reflection of my worth as a person. By addressing my own insecurities and building my self-confidence, I am better equipped to handle criticism in a more constructive way. I am able to take feedback in stride and use it to my advantage, rather than letting it bring me down. Overall, developing self-respect, self-confidence, and self-compassion has helped me to navigate through life with more ease and resilience. I am better able to handle criticism and setbacks, and I am more confident in my abilities and worth as a person.

[@liberty-matrix]

“Some people find fault as if it were a buried treasure.” - Francis O'Walsh

[@a.z.9957]

Wow I love this!!

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

These people are secretly unhappy and depressed.

[@DemetriPanici]

*"Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point." - C.S Lewis*

[@adrianortiz8751]

I like that.

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

In moments of difficulty or challenge, it is courage that allows us to embody virtues such as kindness, honesty, and compassion. Without courage, our other virtues may remain dormant and untested. It is through acts of bravery and boldness that we are able to truly demonstrate our commitment to living a virtuous life.

[@trinaq]

As a self admitted perfectionist, I find it difficult to accept any kind of criticism, even constructive criticism. However, I'm trying to learn to take it in stride, and to see where they're coming from.

[@yehiaelyamani6943]

That's a magnificent transformation and a sign of maturity

[@Serkong]

That's not even what a perfectionist is

[@vl2663]

It’s difficult to accept criticism because of the shame that comes with it. It makes you feel like you’re not good enough which is a big fear many people have

[@nandhakishor103]

See a psychologist

[@wiandryadiwasistio2062]

do not deny what people say to you though. you have the choice _not_ to do what they say, but listen to them is a must, no matter what

[@ReynaSingh]

Criticism hurts most when one either has an inflated sense of self or when they have a low sense of self. We need balance

[@jent5573]

Maybe those with an inflated sense of themselves have actually a Low sense of themselves

[@user-dc1eg2ji8b]

@@jent5573This is probable. New findings suggest narcissists are driven by self-hate more than self-love; although, it is still debatable.

[@Alphacentauri819]

Inflated sense of self is often a creation to protect from the feelings of deep inadequacy and/or shame. False confidence. Often the person is so unconscious, they are completely unaware and can’t admit this. Inflated sense of self is light years from good, healthy self esteem. The other types of low sense of self usually have some awareness of it…although usually unaware of how much it affects every aspect of their lives.

[@vl2663]

@@Alphacentauri819 i was literally about to type what you just said. People who are cocky are usually not that confident. It’s just a defense mechanism.

[@gingergranttech]

Duh...ya think so ..

[@mdaaaa1211]

It's not criticism that hurt but how you are criticized. It's how you say it and their motivation behind it.

[@megametexe5129]

But Sometimes you may proceive reasonable criticism as unreasonable and assuming the motive behind it was malicious just because it hurts. So I can't say I agree with your statement 100%. You need to be able to pull yourself out of your feelings for just a moment to see the person's statement from what it really is and not what you think it is.

[@a.z.9957]

I think criticism is always bad. I think people should much more use feedback. :)

[@sasik520]

@@a.z.9957 so if someone (or me) makes a mistake because they didn't care, then they cannot be told they did wrong? Criticism is needed. Hurting other people is not. Assuming every criticism is hurting is a huge oversimplification.

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

it's important to be mindful of how we communicate our feedback to others

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

Bullies grow up in an environment where emotions and sensitivity is viewed as weakness, and they may have experienced neglect or abuse themselves. They may also have low self-esteem and use bullying as a way to feel powerful and in control. It is important to address and prevent bullying behavior early on to help support the emotional and mental well-being of individuals who may be at risk of becoming a bully. Providing support and resources for individuals who have experienced bullying, as well as promoting empathy and understanding in all individuals, can help create a more compassionate and inclusive environment for everyone.

[@casonkm9030]

"Remember you are insulted not by the person who strikes or abuses you, but by your opinion that these things are insulting." -Epictetus

[@Orange_Swirl]

This quote has terrible implications.

[@camey4844]

"when we are suffering, we should remember that we aren't exceptionally weak - we almost certainly had a far worse childhood than the average person".

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

This statement suggests that our current struggles can often be traced back to unresolved issues from childhood. It encourages us to have compassion and understanding for ourselves, recognizing that our past experiences may have played a significant role in shaping our present challenges. By acknowledging and processing these past traumas, we can work towards healing and moving forward with greater resilience and strength.

[@yourcalmplace]

Great topic! And i just want to let anyone who’s reading this, and going through a tough time know that it’s going to be okay. You’ll get through it! ✨

[@nestorperena8629]

cringe :P but thank you anyway.

[@nizasiamehenry]

It's because of a bad childhood and never being appreciated!

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

Overall, criticism can hurt so much because it taps into our deepest fears and insecurities, triggering feelings of worthlessness, failure, and rejection. It is important to develop resilience and self-compassion to cope with criticism in a healthy way and not let it undermine our self-worth.

[@ct6852]

With a narcissist it's like the most hurtful criticism comes when you're doing things right. That shit gets very old.

[@socalbarbie1040]

THIS! Can really make you a stagnant person

[@houssamk777]

This is true but we should all remind ourselves that we put more attention on criticism that we receive than the one we give, we have a list of people that we dislike but we forget that we are on somebody else's list.

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

It's important to remember that everyone has their own unique perspectives and opinions, and it's impossible to please everyone all the time. Instead of focusing on criticism or negativity, we should strive to be kind and empathetic towards others, and remember that we are all human and make mistakes. Let's try to spread positivity and understanding, and treat others the way we would like to be treated.

[@nomadrodriguez9900]

Thank YOU!!! Never in my life have i thought that a short video with some animations could resonate with me so profoundly, and describe what i struggle with everyday since childhood, i was the kid who's always found to be at fault and a prime target for criticism, rarely appreciated and mostly ridiculed by my own family, never understood why!! and always thought they hated me, i would gnaw at myself and just sulk and try to figure out what was so awful about me, growing up preferring to hang out with friends all day than be at home, and i now realize that leaving that kid (me) to struggle alone with all those wounds unattended by an empathetic grown up must be the cause of my hypersensitivity towards criticism!! to this day i struggle and sulk with no defence whatsoever if faced with criticism, i wish i could turn back time and stand up for that child who was me, tell him about all the wonderful traits he posseses and that he can enjoy his life so much more if he believes in himself cuz thats the only person who matters....powerful video 👏👏👏

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

I am so glad that the video resonated with you and helped you understand the root of your struggles. It can be incredibly healing to reflect on our past experiences and give ourselves the love and compassion that we may have been missing. Remember that it's never too late to start standing up for yourself and believing in your worth. You are valuable and deserving of love and respect. Keep pushing forward and working on building yourself up. You have the power to overcome your past and create a bright future for yourself. Thank you for sharing your story. You are not alone in your journey. Stay strong and keep believing in yourself. ❤

[@olive5890]

So true! Thanks for reassuring me that there is "nothing wrong with me" and helping me accept that my childhood has affected me and continues to do so to this day. Awareness is the first step in a long, lifelong journey of personal growth. I love parenting my inner child, she is awesome!

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

You're welcome! It's important to remember that we are all a work in progress and healing from past experiences takes time and effort. Embracing your inner child and showing her love and compassion is a powerful way to nurture and heal yourself. Keep going on your journey of personal growth and know that you are not alone. You are strong and capable of overcoming any challenges that come your way. Keep shining bright!

[@darrenbrown3952]

I'm 47 years old and still struggle with this. It can be debilitating

[@Flaviafco]

Studying english and learning to be a better person. Thank you ❣️

[@baedens-wills1043]

I just love how obvious they portray the answers to these negative thought patterns, it’s really nice to hear someone just say it because it’s hard to remember in the heat of the moment

[@arsplastiques]

Totally!! And when one struggles with seemingly relentless self doubt, one can't drive one's friends and loved ones crazy with the need for constant reassurance. It's a balm to be able to visit this channel and find strength and validation as a quick reminder of the mechanisms at play in one's mind.

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

The best way to fight bullies is to think posetive, to ignore and block them on social media, and to be brave and never stop doing what you love the most. The bullies bully others for a reason, because they are happy and strong, they want to take away others happiness and power. By not giving them the satisfaction of a reaction and continuing to focus on yourself and what makes you happy, you are taking away their power and control over you. Remember that you are strong and capable, and never let anyone else's negativity bring you down. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people who lift you up, and always remember that you are enough just as you are.

[@adrianortiz8751]

"We will never get past this moment of negative assessment; the hatred will never end(...)". This phrase perfectly describes how i had felt for the entirety of my childhood until two years ago, now that I have space to actually breathe and be. That hatred hasn't went away and now, that obstacle is the next challenge in my journey. Amazing video as always!👌😁

[@kokomanation]

This is really wrong.Criticism is sometimes used only to emotionally harm people.People who negatively criticize others work even if it is very good and widely acclaimed do it out of a sadistic tendency because they get pleasure out of harming creative people emotionally.Even if you love yourself your emotions can be harmed by such malevolent people like when you are physically abused without any reason.I think there is benevolent criticism also but there are major differences between the two .

[@lifeslessons9889]

I was bought up in a heavily critical family… both parents failed to say anything nice, positive or encouraging. My elder sister inherited this abusive belittling trait .. I’m not saying I was or am perfect …it’s a pattern I witnessed daily almost….but, I’ve made conscious moves to think before I offend or IF the criticism thought enters my head ..l block it and exchange it for a realisation that it bloody hurts !!! I’m still in practice..it’s amazing 🤩

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

It's great to hear that you are actively working on breaking the cycle of criticism in your family. It takes a lot of effort and self-awareness to make that change, so kudos to you for making that choice. Remember, it's never too late to start showing kindness and positivity to those around you. Keep practicing and keep striving to be better every day! You deserve to be surrounded by love and support.

[@cezh2009]

I was texted a passive aggressive message from my boss on my off day. I needed this. Thank you, SoL ❤️

[@octaviof.g.7316]

Sounds like your boss is unhappy.

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

I'm sorry to hear that you received a passive-aggressive message from your boss on your day off. It can be difficult to deal with negative communication from a superior, especially when you are not at work. Remember to take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being. If you need to address the situation, consider having a calm and assertive conversation with your boss when you are back at work. Take care. ❤

[@anubhav908]

This is a great video and honestly I couldn't be more thankful for it. It came to the right time. I was ridiculed for what I accomplished very recently. But the narration made me calm, the voice soothed me and I genuinely feel much much better. thank you for everything.

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

I'm so glad to hear that this video was able to bring you peace and comfort during a difficult time. It's important to remember that your accomplishments are worth celebrating, no matter what others may say. Keep shining bright and don't let anyone dim your light. Thank you for sharing your experience and I wish you continued strength and success on your journey.

[@arsplastiques]

The timing of this video is perfect. I've never run across a channel that so consistently reaches into my heart, touches the most sensitive parts, and makes me feel less broken & alone, and more whole through empathy and genuine understanding. ♥️

[@hassanz96]

One thing that helped me to cope with destructive criticism is to see it as a reflection of what is inside that person. In other words, he is showing you how miserable and in deep pain that person is. A person who is at peace with himself won't hurt anyone verbally or physically. As a person who has been bullied a lot in school, I can assure you guys that words can really mess you up. Let's spread peace even if our pasts were traumatizing.

[@payelmondal6400]

Take "word" just as "word". Simple sentence. With no feelings and emotions attached.

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

Additionally, implementing strong anti-bullying policies in schools and workplaces, as well as encouraging bystander intervention, can also help prevent and address bullying behavior. It is important for both individuals and institutions to take a stand against bullying and create a safe and inclusive environment for all. Overall, addressing the root causes of bullying in the western world requires a concerted effort to challenge toxic masculinity, violence, and power dynamics, and promote empathy, respect, and kindness. By working together to promote a culture of inclusivity and acceptance, we can create a world where bullying is no longer tolerated or accepted.

[@Minglesmoot]

As someone who recently just left their job because I felt like I was constantly criticised at work. I felt like I was constantly barraged to the point where I felt mentally and emotionally drained.

[@rosaclick1995]

I wonder why people do this at work places, it’s so toxic and doesn’t reflect teamwork spirit everyone proves they have.

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

It sounds like you made a difficult but ultimately necessary decision to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being. It's important to recognize when a job is negatively impacting your mental health and to take steps to remove yourself from that situation. Remember to give yourself grace and time to heal from the experiences you had at your previous job. It may also be helpful to seek support from a therapist or counselor to process your feelings and develop coping strategies moving forward. You deserve to work in an environment where you feel valued and appreciated.

[@kaleyjoplinRAWRR]

I feel Ike I’m going through with this at work but it’s not my colleagues. My boss and coworkers are actually pretty cool but I’ve been dealing with constant criticism and entitlement from my clients and it’s been getting to me. They speak to rudely and never seem to be satisfied with anything. I already deal with imposter syndrome but hearing them constantly shit on me just makes it worse. I would love to find a job where I don’t have to deal with the public lol.

[@ivfchic3316]

This actually made. Me crybat how accurate it is... It gets worse by the way when you become a parent!!

[@RafireRocksNRules]

Criticism can hurt that much that Alain de Botton (founder of this channel) wrote to Caleb Crain, a New York Times critic, these lines: “I will hate you till the day I die and wish you nothing but ill will in every career move you make. I will be watching with interest and schadenfreude (Getting joy through the suffering of someone else).” After the critic reviewed unfavorably one of his books. Source: BBC.

[@juliettailor1616]

Yeah the irony. To be fair to de Botton though, lots of professional critics get their kicks out of bringing others down (perhaps failed writers themselves) and a critique can make or break a book. John Gray's books ( author of the classic "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus) are continuously slammed by the "woke" agenda, so one never knows how objective critiques are. If I am not mistaken, de Botton later apologized.

[@NatySpaghetti]

Damm!

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

Additionally, it is crucial for parents, teachers, and caregivers to model positive behavior and communication skills, as children often learn how to interact with others through observation and imitation. Teaching children about empathy, kindness, and conflict resolution can help prevent bullying behavior from developing in the first place. Creating a safe and supportive environment, both at home and in schools, where individuals feel valued, heard, and respected is essential in addressing and preventing bullying. It is important to address any incidents of bullying promptly and effectively, and provide appropriate resources and support for both the victim and the aggressor. By promoting positive values and behaviors, fostering empathy and understanding, and addressing the root causes of bullying behavior, we can work towards creating a society where everyone feels accepted and respected. Together, we can create a more compassionate and inclusive community for all individuals.

[@tulikakaku1713]

Someone finally spoke my mind. I used to always feel that why can't I take criticism healthily. This video exactly gives the answers

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

I have come to learn that there will always be negativity and evil in the world, but it is up to us to choose how we respond to it. We have the power to overcome the darkness by shining our own light of kindness, compassion, and love. Through my experiences, I have grown stronger and more resilient, knowing that I have the ability to rise above the negativity and embrace the goodness that still exists in the world. I have learned to appreciate the small acts of kindness, the beauty in the world, and the goodness in humanity. So, I choose to focus on the positive, to be a force for good, and to spread kindness wherever I go. I have found peace and happiness in knowing that I am making a difference and that there is still hope for a brighter future. I believe that by being the change we wish to see in the world, we can inspire others to do the same and create a ripple effect of positivity and kindness that can transform the world for the better. And in doing so, we can prove that there is still good in this world.

[@toledoole]

The animation is incredibly beautiful. Congratulations to the artists!

[@BabyWavv]

Best advice i can give because i too struggle with this ALOT as well is to realize alotta ppl who criticize are just projecting on you . Practice learning how to passively listen. Listen for the parts of the criticism that have nothing to do with you or what they've started with...I've learned over time that's when you go into "Therapist mode" hit em with a "mhm, mhm, yep. rightttttt mhm ok". that alone will piss them off because its not breaking your spirit , be prepared for them to turn it up a notch ... that's when it confirms that its purely projection. once you get to the point of realization turn into a full blown mirror ! watch how it backfires on them and how you regain your confidence ! it takes a moment to master but when you do you develop a sense of love for yourself again knowing the difference between genuine opinions and projection. thank you for reading my TED Talk 💛🧘‍♂️

[@happinessapp]

Emotional management is the most powerful took to be free. Is not about eliminate negative emotions but use them in our advantage

[@Klover_pearl]

People need this. We need to let people learn about this common life lessons rather than learning calculus on schools. That is what I don't even understand why psychology is never taught on us.

[@fizzy1550]

You magically appear in my feed whenever I need you... ❤❤❤ Thank you so so much. I really needed this.

[@cesarromero1209]

I've recently been through a deep form of criticism, the most single impact of my life so far. Affected my job and my creative soul. This video being released around the same time as said criticism may be purely coincidental or my sub conscious fishing for some sort of sign from the universe. I want to love myself and defend my inner spirit the way my childhood never had the luxury during times of criticism. This gives me some hope. The following line is what blew my mind: "The key of present criticism has inserted itself into a lock of historic hatred and self loathing" Thanks S.O.L. for always blowing my mind and connecting the chaos to some grounded line of inner perspective.

[@HeatherAndHaze]

The insight your videos provide me helps me navigate some of the most devastating and confusing parts of my life. I can't thank you enough for making them. I don't know if you're taking requests, but if you are, I would love to see a video that touches on apologies made to avoid conflict as opposed to apologies made when you're genuinely sorry.

[@IKEMENOsakaman]

Constructive criticism with LOVE is not painful. But hateful criticism hurts like hell.

[@jant4741]

Hateful criticism should be dismissed because it is -the toxic person’s problem?

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

Feedback given with love, care, and respect can help someone grow and improve, while criticism delivered with hate, anger, or a lack of empathy can be damaging and demoralizing. It's important to remember to always approach feedback with kindness and consideration for the other person's feelings.

[@FantomwithanEff]

I am so hapy this channel exists

[@PenGelatinandDonutFan17]

This is something that everyone in the object show community should watch.

[@REALHARSH]

Following on from the suicide of my mum, best friend and a partners sister I have decided to set up a channel that will too be like this channel… try to help others by sharing thoughts, feelings and experiences. Keep up the good work and to anyone reading this… smile….

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

1. Remember that it's not about you: Understand that negative comments are often a reflection of the commenter's own insecurities, biases, or unhappiness. It says more about them than it does about you. 2. Practice self-care: Take care of yourself mentally and emotionally by engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Surround yourself with supportive and positive people who lift you up. 3. Focus on the positive: Remind yourself of all the positive feedback and compliments you've received in the past. Use these as reminders of your worth and capabilities. 4. Don't take it personally: Try to detach yourself emotionally from the negative comments. Remember that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but it doesn't define who you are as a person. 5. Learn from it: Use criticism as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement. Consider if there is any validity to the feedback and if there are aspects of yourself or your work that you can work on. 6. Practice gratitude: Cultivate a gratitude practice to shift your focus from negative comments to all the blessings and positive aspects of your life. 7. Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about how you're feeling. Sharing your thoughts and emotions can help you process and move past the hurt. 8. Remember your worth: Remind yourself of your strengths, accomplishments, and unique qualities that make you who you are. Don't let negative comments dim your light.

[@MikelGCinema]

I have meditated for a long time and am quite assertive, criticism doesn't bother at all. I will listen to it and reply if its unfounded, in most cases it is, so its a pleasure to tell them off with a white glove, polite and smiling.

[@Donna__8o3b]

Your guide to success: refund details and anticipated actions

[@drknow1997]

OMG I love myself! I know I do , but this really confirms it. When someone gives undesirable feedback I feel a “niggling” of some sort and then I think, hmm let me look into what they are saying. If it is true , I change somethings (depending on who is giving the feedback e.g my mom or spouse )if it was malicious criticism I forget about it . It doesn’t bother me at all. Gosh I have come a long way.

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

I made a conscious decision to not let these negative comments affect me and my self-esteem. I surrounded myself with supportive and positive people who uplifted me and reminded me of my worth. I focused on my passions and strengths, and let my accomplishments speak for themselves. I also learned to detach myself emotionally from these bullies and not take their words personally. I reminded myself that their hateful comments said more about them than they did about me. I found solace in the fact that I was not the only one facing online hate, and that many others have also dealt with similar situations. Ultimately, I found peace and strength in rising above the negativity and choosing to spread kindness and positivity instead. I made a conscious effort to not let the bullies get to me and to focus on my own journey and growth. It was not easy, but staying true to myself and surrounding myself with love and support helped me navigate through the online hate and come out stronger on the other side.

[@drbonesshow1]

It is easier to criticize than to critique. To critique requires both knowledge and intelligence. To verbally criticize, for example, requires little more than to open one’s mouth.

[@kimberknutson831]

Brilliant. Just brilliant. You people are changing the world for the better. Thank you. : )

[@ConstanterMotivation]

I learned there are two types of criticisms. 'Constructive', and Destructive. Learn from Constructive, and ignore Destructive. Constructive = You're not passing the ball enough to get your open teammates a chance to score. Destructive = You're a BALL HOG! and you're SELFISH!

[@PenGelatinandDonutFan17]

I absolutely agree!

[@kateburk2168]

I've read some of the comments cause this morning I was doing battle. Mentioned to younger sibling that most of life I've gotten up each morning from sheer orneriness. And today I discovered that even that has abandoned me. Pain is a more frequent companion & I don't like it. Drains the joy. In these current times, those that ought to be helping you in your 'golden' years seem determined to help crush your life out. So with such friends & support allies, who needs enemies?

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

I have also learned to surround myself with positive and supportive people who uplift me and make me feel good about myself. It's important to not let bullies get to you and remember that their words are a reflection of their own insecurities, not your worth as a person. Stand tall and know that you are strong and capable, and don't let anyone bring you down. Keep spreading positivity and love, and eventually the haters will fade away into the background. Stay true to yourself and keep shining bright.

[@naudos]

I first was also heavily pissed when some critizised me. But today as a programmer I show others what I have made and also explain why I did that and I’m actually expecting critique from the person I’m showing my stuff to. Because I wanna now where’s space for doing things better (in the future)

[@tonatiuhnino3711]

Criticism hurts because we always want people to support us and yet we end up with a bunch of yes people. When someone tells us the truth, we tend to get offended or hurt by it because we never had to cope with it before.

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

In my whole life i meet evil and negative people who hurt me, i used to think that the world was full of darkness and that there was no good left in humanity. But as I grew older and gained more life experience, I realized that there are still good and kind-hearted people in this world. I learned to focus on the positivity around me and to distance myself from toxic individuals who only bring negativity into my life. I surrounded myself with uplifting and supportive individuals who truly cared about me and my well-being. By doing so, I was able to find inner peace and happiness despite the trials and tribulations that life threw at me. I learned to not let the darkness of others dim my own light and to always strive to be a beacon of positivity and kindness in a sometimes cruel world. I now believe that there is still good in this world and that it is up to us to cultivate and spread that goodness wherever we go. It may not always be easy, but by focusing on the positive and being a light in the darkness, we can make a difference and create a better world for ourselves and those around us.

[@kaleyjoplinRAWRR]

Or sometimes it hurts because the criticism is unwarranted or directed at the wrong person. Being blamed or criticized for something that was out of your hands is the one that gets to me the most

[@shopmylifeaway5114]

This was just whatI needed today. Feeling blessed.

[@tucky3191]

It hurts when they are words we already believe about ourselves. If I call someone a blue monster and they know they aren’t, no amount of me calling them a blue monster would affect them. But if someone criticizes me in an area I already feel insecure in, it hurts a lot Eeeeee Why is this easy to know and hard to heal 2:45 🥺😩💔

[@TiggerNyeah]

I'm a little different. For me, it's how they criticize and how witnesses react. False criticisms are very destructive to my life whereas true criticisms only hurt if it's a strategic attack against how everyone views my character. False criticisms leave people wondering if it's true. Small minds will accept the lie against you as fact, you lost them. Average minds will take a middle ground but remain skeptical about you. If you deny "too many" False accusations, most people stop believing and trusting you. All of have a ripple affect than can destroy how almost anyone sees you. And now you go through life as the unknown hero who most people look down on and mistreat because of a few false accusations. People are really dumb and inconsiderate.

[@tucky3191]

@@TiggerNyeah I feel that. I feel like it just goes to show that those people were never our people though. It hurts.

[@tucky3191]

@@TiggerNyeah also if they are easily swayed (“small minds” that you referred to) from what I’ve seen usually means they are insecure themselves, and they see the world through that lens “I’m bad and you’re bad” or “I’m good and you’re bad”. Secure people may be wary and healthily skeptical for a time but won’t act out on it, and it usually doesn’t last long once they see it isn’t true. They form their own opinions and don’t take others lenses as true just because they were said, but question them if needed for a short time and then move forward. They won’t remain skeptical. I’m learning so much about security vs insecurity and how much insecurity can hurt ourselves and relationships. I still have a lot of healing to do on my own insecurity, but I’m sorry to hear how others’ has impacted you.

[@mrmoviemanic1]

I think it’s good to recognise criticism which usually constitutes of a fair judgement and not overly angry ranting. People who defend criticism I often think do t fully understand or abuse its negative aspects. Knowing this helps call out but also keeps you positive.

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

1. Develop thick skin: Remember that not everyone will like or agree with you, and that's okay. It's important to understand that negative comments say more about the person making them than they do about you. 2. Focus on the positive: Instead of dwelling on the negative comments, shift your focus to the positive feedback you receive. Remind yourself of your strengths and achievements to boost your self-confidence. 3. Practice self-care: Take care of yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically. Surround yourself with supportive and positive people who lift you up and remind you of your worth. 4. Don't take it personally: Try to detach yourself from the negativity and recognize that everyone has their own issues and insecurities that may lead them to criticize others. 5. Respond with kindness: Instead of reacting with anger or defensiveness, respond gracefully and with kindness. This can disarm the negativity and may even lead to a more constructive conversation. 6. Learn and grow: Use negative feedback as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement. Reflect on the criticism and see if there are any valid points that you can learn from and apply in the future. 7. Seek professional help: If negative comments are severely impacting your mental health and self-esteem, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate these feelings in a healthy way.

[@robertfields1964]

This is in line with the statement that we tend to be our own worst enemies.

[@dj.deb.usa.1503]

THANK YOU 💞

[@nestorperena8629]

there are people (lots of people) that like to constantly "educate" their friends, colleagues, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, sure there are good intentions behind (maybe, we are all selfish and have our own agendas anyway) but that practice can turn annoying fast, because the person communicating something just would stop communicate. nobody likes to be lectured ALL THE TIME about every little thing. that kind of practice is criticism in disguise and can mutate into something worse imho. we can't control people's opinions sure, our main critics were our parents besides ourselves so accept that reality (you don't have to like it) but when some social or professional relations turn ugly, prevent or manage them by taking a conversation about the issue.

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

I get alot of hate comments online by jerks and it hurts me but i learned to ignore them and focus on the positive feedback instead. It was times when i asked the bully why they said the hurtful words but they just ignored me. I realized that these people were just looking for attention and trying to bring me down to make themselves look strong. In reality they were just insecure and unhappy with themselves. Bullying is big problem in west world. Begin mean is seen as cool in media. But I refuse to let their negativity affect me. I choose to rise above it and focus on spreading positivity and kindness. It may be tough at times, but I remind myself that their words are not a reflection of who I am as a person. I am strong, confident, and worthy of love and respect. I also make sure to surround myself with supportive friends and family who lift me up and encourage me to be the best version of myself. It's important to have a strong support system to lean on during tough times. I also try to educate others on the impact of cyberbullying and the importance of spreading kindness online. It's important for all of us to be mindful of our words and actions and the impact they can have on others. In the end, I have learned to not let the haters get to me. I will continue to spread positivity and kindness in the face of negativity, and I hope that others will join me in this mission. Together, we can make the online world a better and more positive place for everyone.

[@angelarusso2553]

Thank you for everything you do 🙏🏻💖

[@motorheadbanger7720]

If you overcome it and become master of your mind, you will be greater. The more difficult the better it's..... believe on

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

Bullying exist in west world because we have toxic masculinity and glamorize violence. Just look at the media we consume, where aggression and dominance are often portrayed as desirable traits. Additionally, our society tends to value strength and power, leading to a culture that can enable and even promote bullying behavior. Furthermore, many individuals in positions of power, such as politicians and celebrities, may also engage in or condone bullying behavior, further perpetuating the cycle. This can create a sense of impunity for those who bully others, as they may believe they will face few consequences for their actions. In order to address bullying in the western world, we must challenge and change these harmful norms and behaviors. This includes promoting healthy and respectful relationships, teaching empathy and compassion, and holding individuals accountable for their actions. By creating a culture that values kindness and understanding, we can work towards a society free of bullying and violence.

[@motorheadbanger7720]

@@PoisonelleMisty4311 totally agree!

[@comic7435]

Criticism can be a great way to improve ourselves, but bad criticism is another story. Build confidence, that's the best way to go through this shit. You need to work hard for it. Confidence isn't something freely given. You got to earn it. Find your way to gain some. Money, sport, woman, intellect are good ways to gain some. Never try to gain some throughout alcohol or drugs, these won't work on the long term. Short term confidence ain't worth shit.

[@babe101103]

Being disrespectful is dangerous. Be careful on how you react to criticism out there or how you criticize others.

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

Bullying exist in west world because we have toxic masculinity and glamorize violence. The 80s yuppie culture¨ and 90s "tough guy" image promoted aggression and dominance as desirable traits, leading to a culture where bullying and harassment were often normalized. Additionally, the media often depicts bullying behavior as entertaining or justifiable, further perpetuating the problem. These attitudes can contribute to a cycle of violence and intimidation, making it difficult to address and prevent bullying in Western societies. Overall, addressing the root causes of bullying in Western societies requires a cultural shift towards valuing empathy, respect, and kindness over aggression and dominance. It also requires creating systems and policies that prioritize the safety and well-being of all individuals, regardless of their perceived status or power. By challenging toxic masculinity, dismantling hierarchies, and promoting empathy and understanding, we can work towards creating a society where bullying is not tolerated or normalized.

[@Kibouo]

It can also depend on the type of criticism and whether it hits an aspect to which we are sensitive or associate with our self identity strongly. If somebody insults my looks, I don’t particularly care much because I have little emotional investment in my appearance, but to another, it may be devastating. However, if somebody points out that I’ve made careless errors on a project that I truly wanted to do well on, it can trigger responses similar to those described in the video.

[@blankearth5840]

“It never ceases to amaze me. We all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinions than our own.” -Marcus Aurelius

[@aadyarajavasanth2851]

I am always critcised by my family... So, I stay away from people..

[@MetalCooking666]

My ex was definitely like this. It made her so determined not to admit to having done something wrong and/or apologise. Even when she was the one who started the argument by criticising me and all I did was defend myself. It was a maladaptive coping strategy because she was so afraid of admitting she was wrong that she would never fix legitimate problems with how she treated people.

[@quynhanh1557]

It crosses my mind that one of my classmates dropped out of school because she was criticized for her wrongdoing. I regret not protecting her. If I had helped her through that difficult time, she wouldn't have dropped out of school and would lead a happy life now. In this post, I want to send her a sincere apology. I am sorry so much, hope all the best for you, my loved classmate.

[@moccisimo]

Criticism hurts more when you your own worst critic and already was in your head for days thinking about your mistake and ppl act like you’re a monster and they’re same ppl who never seem to care when they fuck up themselves 😶

[@Toriratratratrat]

Fr fr, even if they "have good intentions" it feels like they're attacking me or something, and ppl say to not be sensitive and just move on but it's hard to do.

[@Infiniteeverything8]

I don’t remember having a bad childhood. I guess I’ve always had pretty big mood swings from since I was tiny and found it hard to fit in anywhere. Maybe because of that crazy unstable behaviour, people where more critical. I don’t know but I do get so upset by criticism and react badly to it and I do have a deeply negative self voice . Thanks for the video

[@Sku11zDude]

My teacher told me that i need to do more. It hurt because i put in so many hours of hardwork. It hurts because i care about him. It was a small problem too but ever since i was a child i wanted to stay away from even the smallest bit of this feeling, but I'm starting to feel there's no choice other than to somehow toughen up.

[@Sku11zDude]

I know it's not a big problem but it felt like it was backed up by the hundred other times I faced similar situations and the amount of time I put into of work I truly cared about.

[@0xymor3]

I've seen a lot of criticisms about the feminine voice over and didn't said I loved to hear it, perfect video to do so !

[@ionside8959]

I always get it for my youtube videos but honestly, I make videos for mostly my personal enjoyment and the joy of keeping memories however to be fair, by putting these videos in the public eye, i subject them to criticism. I have since improved my craft. I thoroughly enjoyed this video 😍

[@PoisonelleMisty4311]

1. Remember that criticism is not a reflection of your worth as a person. People's opinions are subjective and do not define who you are. 2. Take a step back and try to see the criticism objectively. Is there any truth to it? Can you learn from it and use it to improve yourself? 3. Focus on your strengths and the things that make you unique. Remind yourself of your value and the positive qualities you possess. 4. Surround yourself with supportive and positive people who uplift you and remind you of your worth. 5. Practice self-care and self-compassion. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially during times of criticism. 6. Remember that you cannot please everyone, and it's okay to have different opinions. Focus on being true to yourself and staying authentic. 7. Take a break from social media or any other sources of negativity if you find them to be triggering. Protect your mental health and well-being. 8. Seek professional help or counseling if you are struggling to cope with criticism and negative comments. It's okay to ask for help and support.

[@petercdowney]

Criticism makes me want to go to sleep and not wake up.

[@riggs20]

I agree with this to a point, but a bad childhood is not the only reason someone may endure self loathing. I myself fight with it. I have had bouts of depression since I was five years old. However, I had a pretty great childhood. I’m sure it wasn’t perfect, but I had two parents and a sibling who loved me. Still, I have dealt with mental illness and being overly critical of myself for as long as I can remember. And that’s just my story. What about others who can’t really blame their childhood for the brokenness they feel inside?

[@lilysticha7564]

This is so me!!! I hate criticism and I'm awful at taking it gracefully, every time one of my parents gets even the least bit angry or upset with me, I cry for hours on end, and end up hating myself and feeling like an awful person, yet they loved and cared for me my whole life, never insulted me or abused or manipulated me, never hit me or physically hurt me, never negelected me, were always there for me. Yet I still can't take criticism like a normal child. My parents are my best friends, which I guess is why their criticism hurts the most, I want to make them proud of me😢

[@rightbrained4771]

@@lilysticha7564same here, thats why sometimes i think im the one who should not be exist...

[@deeyfan3009]

Can’t even remember WTF I have been doing in my childhood or how it was.

[@hannamakela6989]

So elegantly articulated, so true in substance! :)

[@casonkm9030]

"The sucess of an insult depends on the sensitivity and the indignation of the victim." -Seneca

[@superhumansight]

This isn't the video they wanted, but it's the video they NEEDED.

[@Chase_baker_1996]

You cannot now believe that you will ever feel better, but this is not true, your sure to feel better again, and knowing this truly believing it will make you less miserable than you are now. - Abraham Lincoln

[@shinigami956]

I hate when in therapy they tell me things that I already know, to shack my feet so I would take action and I don't work for me, it makes me worse and worse, I have tried to make an effort to such it up, so i would get better but it didnt work, its because I'm to sensitive and planing on telling this to the new therapist hope he or she doesn't get mad.

[@snehansh6]

I'll be rooting for you. 🤛✨ Keep me updated 🌺

[@smarteam5920]

A therapist shouldn’t get mad at their client stating their needs, if they do, run! I think therapists appreciate feedback from their clients on how best to help them, and you have to be open too, they are there to help.

[@verdar3662]

Criticism literally got a company shut down. I don’t think I can tolerate criticism anymore

[@abigailmesa__]

mmmm the way i started crying when she started talking about the experiences of criticism for ‘the more vulnerable ones’…hit TOO close to home

[@shre9]

This channel is a blessing! Thank you

[@jpbart1390]

They say "You are your own worst critic." My parents & relatives are mine.

[@somethingyousaid5059]

Always take someone's criticism with a grain of salt. Could be it's unjustified. And never let someone else cause you to second guess yourself. Let it be because you caused it.

[@_rohit_thakur]

Now people will criticize me for being second!!

[@michelnormandin8068]

There are so many people with adult bodies managed by a 9 yo. Criticism makes me more confident.

[@thechancellor-]

To the *incredible person* that's seeing this, I wish you all the best in life❤ don't ever blame yourself, accept things and go forward. Your smile is precious and the keys to a happy life is in your hands. Stay Positive.

[@ailinpolicano7464]

as a model, I had experienced hard physical criticism lately. Before I was so confident, now I hide a lot. I’m trying to comeback to be the person I was tho

[@raiza5854]

I love this channel!

[@pat_jones36]

Seeing criticism from people about something that’s my favorite or that I enjoy the most bothers me so much, I just can’t handle it. All it does is it infuriates me to my very core lol.

[@Thebreakdownshow1]

Criticism hurts bad is so good. Depending on if it’s constructive.

[@private1525]

“U can’t help someone unless someone helped u” -Prob noone

[@hazelgod9970]

We have masses of people who are communicating their hate for the world into criticisms of other people Most criticisms don’t even have to do with who they are directed at, the critics simply need a target

[@tacticalpasta6691]

“But the worst enemy you can meet will always be yourself; you lie in wait for yourself in caverns and forests. Lonely one, you are going the way to yourself! And your way goes past yourself, and past your seven devils! You will be a heretic to yourself and witch and soothsayer and fool and doubter and unholy one and villain. You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame: how could you become new, if you had not first become ashes?” ― Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

[@TTTT-oc4eb]

If your worst critic is your own malignant narcissistic mother, you're in for a life of misery.