Why Do Narcissists & Psychopaths Seem to "Get" You So Well?

[@Mikey-fi8bb]

"trust yourself" may literally be the one singular most important piece advice anyone can ever give you. Speaking from experience, please please please, do your best to never forget this. best wishes to all of you along your journeys.

[@truemordecai2996]

Mickey Absolutely.

[@SaraFJones]

Mikey yes, trust that God and Jesus will take care of us.

[@tahwsisiht]

Truth

[@emilyapartmani8057]

This is because they don't engage into their life but instead into yours. They work on others but they don't work on them because they are empty shells. That is why they mirror your good sides and exploit your vulnerabilities. They are real and pure evil.

[@celestetheariesdorsey952]

Emily apartmani yes pure evil

[@StarBright_4007]

Wow this is so powerful!

[@heliaalves9062]

I couldn't have said it better myself. You have put it in words very accurately.

[@patriciareilly530]

"I figure out what people need and make them think I'm the one who's going to give it to them." That's what a narcissist I dated told me in a moment of candor.

[@InnerIntegration]

Sometimes they reveal themselves so blatantly!

[@beautydefined1601]

YIKES😲

[@patriciareilly530]

@@InnerIntegration So true. My ex was a rageaholic (usually over nothing) and he once told me that sham rage was an effective tool because most people are afraid of being screamed at.

[@somethinggood9267]

Woahhh

[@tahwsisiht]

I knew one who told me: people are rabbits. He also said some people love me others hate me. From retrospect: the naive ones who bought his stories and fake persona are the ones loved him. The ones he called rabbits. The ones who knew what he did to his own family are the ones who are probably learned from him: what a condescending, spineless narcissist can do to those who are depending on him as a father or a wife/partner. His a worthless father and a worthless human being. He had at least 6 children from different women. He took one with him when the boy was 18 months old (app.), using it as a bait (poor single dad) and an EBT card. Hardly working, he is literally supporting himself through one of his child, while he was not paying any money to support the rest of his kids. The people who can see the truth the ones hating him. The rest are delusional "rabbits".

[@JR-uo4ep]

I was a single mom who worked full time while raising my child with special needs. He very skillfully took advantage of my situation through excessive love-bombing. In 6 months he bought me 30 dozen roses. At first, I thought he might be bipolar because of his boundless energy. He would run to the store, mop the floor, bathe the kid, mow the yard, fix the car...I fell head first for all of it. He underestimated me, though. It's a sordid story, but I will not tolerate abuse, I don't care if he had millions of dollars. I bought bus tickets for me and my son and we got the hell out with our 2 suitcases. It's a wonderful feeling being 1000 miles away and knowing that he doesn't know where I live.

[@jenniekelly571]

Good for you, recognizing it & getting the hell out!!!!

[@SaraFJones]

Renae Chandler good for you! You are a great example for people who think it’s not possible. Your person and your space are invaluable! Way to take care of you Son as well! We need more good parents like you! Best wishes and blessings!

[@sunshinedayz7032]

So happy for you! Glad you escaped!

[@amiller9628]

Renae Chandler so happy you survived! I’m the same song, second verse so it’s always a relief for me to see other survivors got away, thanks!!!

[@gracieambrosio4967]

Who here has or had a narc sibling? It looks like everyone just talk about narcissists in romantic relationships.

[@pamelac.5600]

My narcissist is my mother. So, yes not all the information fits every situation. My mother's lies have resulted in my siblings attacking me, then not talking to me anymore.

[@notagain779]

I do!

[@nevaehb.4371]

@@pamelac.5600 Same here.

[@gracieambrosio4967]

It is a weird feeling, cause often we feel guilty to hate them. But we need to let the hate feeling flow and then find a way to let it go by going no contact.

[@allisonherlihy5546]

Two older sisters - narc Cluster B messes.

[@loverofbeautifulthings]

So glad you "went there" i.e., the dark force of the Universe. There is something that absolutely goes beyond just a personality disorder. Thank you for all the great advice re: future relationships!

[@HighSpeedNoDrag]

Yes dark force and you best be ready to be a little dark yourself in response. This lady is major league psychoanalysis which is fine. One must approach the threat in different modes and or contingencies which the presenter doesn't even touch upon. Do Not be the one chained to a musty basement wall if you know what I mean.

[@stephenn77]

Totally demonic! You see it in their eyes.

[@thelovely961]

a lot of survivors have reported this. definitely picked up a demonic force with some of them that I encountered. I experienced it when the mask came off.

[@WendyMisener]

This will sound weird, but I think Narcs are more exposed/vulnerable to detection in that space between wake and sleep. If you have ever had one mumble something very mean and cruel to you in that space, that’s their true face. I saw this in a flash of a moment many years ago, asked the Narc to clarify the comment the next day and he emphatically denied ever saying it. I chose to ignore it to my own eventual peril; emotional and financial. They are so diabolically clever, but occasionally their mask slips and then you feel the real soulless disembodiment full on. It’s bloody scary.

[@rachelsweets]

I agree

[@ianaustin5541]

Ya ya, denying, one of their specialties.

[@della3793]

I remember the ex talked in his sleep as if he was having sex or foreplay with another woman, it was so hurtful to me, or he would wake in the a.m. and tell me his sick & evil dreams that were meant to psychologicaly and emotionally hurt me. You may onto something here. I thought maybe they take their evil downloads while their sleeping?

[@newphaze4t370]

My husband has this tendency. I think I've been accepting this bad behavior because it was so prevalent in my family of origin. Mom would have a few drinks with dinner and then as bedtime approached the verbal abuse would start. My sister and I always made apologies for her because she was a single mom with a full time job. Consequently, I am fully prepared to tolerate the same "once a day only" verbal attacks from my otherwise charming husband.

[@VV6385]

Or they are so spontaneously stupid that they can easily convince us of their truth if we are under their effect. They think they are clever, but only so long until they are not exposed as what their true intentions really are.

[@pauladsilva9374]

My first relationship after being married for 33 years of my life..I did EVERYTHING wrong... allowed a narcissistic predator into my life and let him drag me through broken glass and leave me there for dead... I'm abuse free for over a year... healing and struggling at it...but I am doing marvelous 😊 Thank you Meredith for your videos.. they have helped in my healing. Happy New Year😍😍😍😍

[@mattiemayesavedbyjesus]

This was really helpful and explained that unknown piece...dark forces most definitely! Narcissists and sociopaths are psychic and intuitive however, they are definitely from the dark side! Don't let the charmer fool you, they'll siphon off every bit of energy from you! They show up in our lives to show us where we need to heal. It's our responsibility to heal deep wounds and to love ourselves unconditionally, fully realizing our own divinity, which is something they chose not to heal, hence the dark forces!

[@shaveerlove3781]

like Ross Rosenberg says observe.....when someone new is really into you and they ask all these questions... WOW...it's an eye opener....Amazing how strong you are when you are familiar with these creatures and have the tools to combat them...Now i can shut them down before they get to far but a year ago i was like doggy treats or Emotional vampire pray to these monsters...It sucks that i went my whole life thinking that everyone has some good in them but i know now that isn't true...I know that some people are rotten to the core and don't deserve to see your empathy......And like you said people have to earn your trust...A relationship is formed over months or even years and not 2 days or a few weeks....0 to a 100 is no Bueno

[@narcslayer4237]

Psychopaths and empaths are like oil and water. They don't mix.

[@celestetheariesdorsey952]

NarcSlayer 💯💯💯💯

[@joannaleasa]

Sooo true

[@keylove3189]

Your explanations are so spot on! I distinguish a narcissist as materialistics and/ or robotic clones, who are quite harmless to my energy and they eventually back off. Their techniques are annoying but not substantial in the long term. PSYCHOPATHS do 100% of what you explained and then some. Plus, they hate losing. When psychopaths love bomb, theywill never stop whether you walk away or have high standards or say no! They love games and challenges. If they stop openly love bombing, they are extremely vindictive, saboteurs, making sure other people don't have you. The problem is, unless people have been severely traumatized by a psychopath and learned about this psychological type, people around you will think the psychopath is charismatic and that victim or target is insane.

[@dddamaged7501]

Mirroring is manipulation. Without empathy in the road reading people for manipulation is a lot easier. Thank you for new insight thought.

[@MetalGear570]

Hello Meredith and excellent video! The real reason the narcissist knows how to get you well is that they already know your weak points and they know exactly how you will react. The only way you can avoid being a victim is #1 set boundaries ..#2 understand that they will never CHANGE no matter how many times you tried to work things out and #3 Dont EXPECT any expectations of good from them cause you will never see it. They will be nice for a short time then later you face the same pain from them : LIES,GASLIGHTING AND ABUSE. ITS a neverending cycle! It's better to get out of that relationship soon. Life is short and we all grow old. But grow old being HAPPY AND WITH GRACE!!! 🙏😊

[@puresoul1368]

Amen

[@MetalGear570]

@@puresoul1368 🙏😇💪😇

[@eleanoretchu6217]

I think one of the reasons it seems like they know you is because of similar patterns people exhibit. They’ve been around others that act like the victim, have similar speech patterns, etc etc. so when they talk to you it’s like they know when really they know someone like you. For example if you’re overweight and unhappy with yourself that comes with a complex. They’ll probe and probe until they figure out whether or not this is a weakness. Then because human beings have a shared collective consciousness and experience they’ll borrow from that. Narcs aren’t very smart if you pay attention to them. 1) keep in mind that they’re always watching you. Always. Once you know this then you can have the upper hand. But as always stay away from them. That’s the best medicine.

[@MetalGear570]

@@eleanoretchu6217 ... I agree with you 200%! Back in the day I didn't know what is narcissism in the first place until I met my fiance. I didn't know she was a narcissist until after 2 years into the relationship...yes ,2 years . That's how good she is. Once I educated myself about narcissism, I learn how much this affects me. Try to work things out but I learn the hard way its useless. It's a neverending battle and drama. Its been 3 weeks so far she tried to hover me but I'm determined NO CONTACT. Going NO CONTACT is the only way to protect yourself and conserve your sanity. A narcissist will never value a person EVER...they only value you as SUPPLY only.

[@turkantezcan1731]

Perfect timing, Meredith. Thank you for another eye-opening video! Just today I sat up a boundary with someone and they responded with aggression, even tried to manipulate me break that boundary. I got anxious, but I used the broken record method and protected my boundary. Thinking back, I realise that I did someting really worth celebrating, as you said. Meredith, I wish you a wonderful new year - 2019! Pure love and light from my heart to yours! 💕 Thanks for being you and for doing what you do!

[@annekenney6914]

I believe they don't know people better than anyone else. It's just that they use phrases like "I understand or I feel you" to love bomb you. If they say something about you that you don't think or feel, they backpedal and say, "No, that isn't what I meant." They never admit when they are wrong so you are misinterpreting non-verbal clues that seem like someone with confidence and knowledge, but it is really a person who can say and do anything without feeling accountable, who manipulates you into thinking you misunderstood them.

[@gracieambrosio4967]

Wow you just said what I think about narcissists having something of spiritually weird... I have watched another psychologist talking about it. I don't know what's your religion if you're watching this...but just find something to protect yourself spiritually

[@RJ-zr9ss]

I find it really hard to believe narcs can be cured of anything

[@librarybook5275]

Excellent title - I always watch your videos because there always so much good content in them and I love your self empowerment energy.

[@bunnykins4849]

A spiritual “ dark web”

[@InnerIntegration]

Yes!

[@claudiaborralho8887]

@@InnerIntegration It's very interesting that you mentioned the spiritual dark web. Never thought about it, but in fact there are some very strange facts I realised after watching this vídeo. I discovered about NPD few month ago during my relationship with my narc ex and even apply to a consultation with you via email which was very helpfull to me as all of your videos. Recently I came to realise my brother is an overt Narc, and the way he treats his wife and everyone around him is disgusting. I think I can spot all the traits on him. I come from a family of greatgrandfather, grandfather, uncles all atheists. I think my mom decided to be the rebel in this atheist family and is fully into the bible. It's always very hard to talok to her about anything without her talking about the bible. Maybe my brother wanted to play the rebel with my mom and only after looking at your vídeo it rang a bell on my head and I recall my brother talking to me about S. Ciprian's bible or something like that and that he and some friends were planning to make one ritual in a church. This happened when we were teenagers, we had a very close relationship and we were sharing lots of things with each other, but when I came to study in Lisbon we kind of lost contact because when I was visiting my family's house he was working a lot and spending most of his time with his very controling and abusive girlfriend of that time (during my studies), a bit after that he would move to Englad with his actual wife and now he's back again to Portugal to my parents house with his wife and kid, and now he's back I don't recognise my brother anymore. That sweet kid turned in a totally dehumanised person. I've been very depressed with this, we had huge verbal fights during my Christmas holidays there, most because I was calling out about his abusive behaviour towards his wife. I feel really bad about all this and only now I'm starting to connect the dots. Do you think kids playing with S. Ciprians book might have lead to something like this or they had it already?

[@uppercut147]

Hm, in my case tho, my ex-psychopath did NOT meet my financial needs (I have none, I was fine before I met him) but he was INCREDIBLY financially needy. Just ONE--yes ONE--month into dating, he asked me for $2,000. And like the bleeding heart do-gooder who also was easy to manipulate that I was, I gave it to him. And his need for money just snowballed from there. But it felt good to "help" someone even though the sane part of my brain was screaming WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STOP!!! THIS DUDE IS TRASH!!! HE'S A GROWN MAN HE CAN PAY HIS OWN BILLS!!!

[@singndanceon871]

Love this video! Such great advice! Best is “kill the fantasy of Prince Charming!” Excellent!!! This is the biggest tool the Narcissist has when they meet you day 1. They’re so charming, sweet, flirty & you feel like a princess! The minute you see this...RUN!!!

[@inge5627]

They also fake it sometimes

[@inge5627]

@Belletaina very true

[@HighSpeedNoDrag]

Fake it and next you know your confined to a 20 Foot container in the middle of no where for the rest of your life. Do Not EVER underestimate any Narcissist!!! I am done for the night advising you all how to stay alive and maintain your sanity. This is NOT Dr. Phil or Opraha people.

[@onlythetruth208]

The psychopath I was entangled with had several completely different physical looks and voices when he was high. He really did become other people who would talk about the host as a separate person. One of those personas really was demonic and very scary. I never saw this ex high until we had moved in together and I really did think this demonic persona was a different person. They don't call alcohol "spirits" for nothing. I truly believe that getting high opens doorways to portals we know nothing about. I am so grateful to have that psychopath and some others, out of my life for good.

[@peggygenoway]

That is one of the most amazing accounts I have read online. I experienced something similar...but I am a psychotherapist and knew how to pull off his mask. What was underneath was something I wouldn't like to see again...

[@onlythetruth208]

@@peggygenoway It really was terrifying especially because this guy began getting high everyday which meant this demonic persona was there almost every day too. This demonic persona was so covertly threatening and would tell me he would destroy anyone who tried to hurt the host or leave him. I got to be very familiar with that no one is home look in his eyes.

[@onlythetruth208]

@44JesusIsLord44 I have read about the Jezebel spirit and that exorcisim is the only way to rid these people of these spirits. In fact, this person got extremely angry with me several times and asked me if I had exorcised him. I had in fact tried to and now I wish I had continued those exorcisisms because this guy was obviously feeling a loss inside himself. Demon spirits are real, I have no doubt of that.

[@whiteassnow3184]

Could have DID too, disassociated identity disorder

[@Ozma337]

Thank you, Meredith! This video feels like it was meant specifically to address and validate the personal experience I’m having right now. Spot on what I needed to hear. Your videos have a beautiful way of doing that. You’re very tuned in. I’m lookin forward to seeing your growth in 2019!

[@InnerIntegration]

Synchronicity is my favorite language!

[@originalsongsbyadam2883]

Happy New Year, Meredith! You make a great point regarding meeting your own needs as a way to deter narcissistic or toxic people. One thing that hit me as you said that, was how great that also is in regards to having better chances of lasting satisfaction with a future partner who is healthy and non-toxic. If you can already meet your own needs, you have it all, self-esteem and empathy included, and can therefore treat someone correctly, flaws, faults and all, without having a subconscious expectation that any partner you meet in times ahead has an unspoken contract to fulfill. You can really value someone for merely who they are and the connection you both have, not what advantages they can offer, or how they can fill in the missing pieces. Great video and an awesome year ahead! #2:17

[@forjusticetruth943]

Really interesting and great topic... the psychic control and telepathy thing I remember vividly finding very odd in the beginning of our relationship... like he knew when I was around the corner and would text and remind me not to miss his street... I thought at first because I'm an empath that he might also be... until the mind control started, which i also remember thinking was very strange and I didnt understand what was happening to me. I remember I would wake up during the early stages of our relationship and he would say "I know more than you think" in this very creepy way and I literally had no clue what he was talking about. Its like he would stalk me even though we were together as if we weren't... it was very unsettling. And then like you said, sometimes id wonder how he knew certain things. Thanks so much for sharing xoxoxo 🙏❤

[@forjusticetruth943]

@Valentina Worldwide yup when he was discarding and giving the silent treatment he would stalk my buildings multiple times a day lol... so weird the length these people go to....

[@loverofbeautifulthings]

My ex said those same words..."I know more than you think." Creepy!!

[@mjay345]

My ex would say I know how you think

[@RJ-zr9ss]

This is a real thing. I've seen it in narcs where they know if your coming around the corner, etc.

[@Archonbuster]

Damaged people attract the dark forces

[@freespirit2194]

Yes exactly why we must heal and not stay bitter

[@corsicanlulu]

yes, its law of attraction, the law of the universe, and only when u truly love yourself u will attract good people and things in your life

[@nevaehb.4371]

Yep.

[@BindingTheYoke]

we are all damaged people.. your statement is incomplete

[@Archonbuster]

Rebecca Phillips I personally do not look at all people as damaged. But I grasp your point

[@J1304-z3s]

Sister Meredith..absolute class as always. Excellent wisdom and reality. May you be blessed and be in high spirits always

[@zoranab1711]

It's always fascinated me the way those commonalities disappear when the "i get you phase" sooner or later turns into a nightmare when they flip it all around and repeatedly feed you with their insisting on how different you two are. And you are! But in this case, it eats at you slowly when you begin to question who's changed (me) and why. and you even start to feel you had been deceptive or misrepresented yourself because how in the world did we have so much in common just last night or 5 mins ago?! It's hell. Get out the second you start feeling crazy and follow your intuition.

[@dianaboughner7977]

👍❤ Thank you Meredith. It has been two years post trauma and permanent separation but I still need these tips and talks for insight into what happened and what I need to know and remember to protect myself from these predators.

[@WWZenaDo]

This is a great video! Thank you so much for posting it. I especially liked your point @8:07. Having expectations (I've found) blinds me to the very nature of reality (to a lesser extent). It unfortunately causes me to see an illusion of who I think the person is (which may be a characteristic of a narcissist, too?), instead of reducing my comments, quelling my ego, and observing the other person to see who she or he really is.

[@etelkafarkas6037]

I didn't realize what happened to me until I found these videos... Thank you!

[@Bintang221]

Well, he told me he had sold his soul to the devil. I totally agree however about something else being there. Weird.

[@rebeccajimenez6109]

They mimick empathy

[@joanaescobar8329]

Yes he uses all my fault againts me....

[@CynthiaSchoenbauer]

I had a fantasy about my father that he was a lot of things that he definitely was not. And then I absorbed the difference as something wrong with me. That laid the groundwork for some difficult relationships later in life. Excellent breakdown on some of these basic principles, Meredith, of how we have to shore up our boundaries so as not to repeat the mistakes of the past and challenge ourselves to have actual nourishing relationships instead of relationships with narcs who tease and abuse us.

[@psecdocumentary]

In my experiences, it mainly has to do with lack of confidence, low to no self esteem and no boarders / boundaries which makes it difficult for the person to tell the difference between fantasy expectations and reality, and the narcissist plays on that lack of discernment. Context is also key and we live in a world were people think context does not matter, which also leads to manipulation. With that said, anyone reading my text should go slow and careful about the context of what I'm about to say: most narcissists do not know what they are doing. CLARIFICATION: by this I do not mean that they don't know they are doing something wrong. Of course they know it. If they are using a tactic against you, they know it. If they are hurting someone, they know it. What I mean is they do not understand what drives them. They do not know themselves anymore than their victims know themselves. They do not understand their own psychology. They make justifications to themselves for every bad thing they do. This is why to an extent, we're all narcissists and psychopaths. We make excuses to go into other countries and steal people's shit and kill children but then say its for the greater good and double down by saying "well they attacked us first so its okay for us to go in and kill their children". It is very important for most psychopaths / narcs to hide their own condition them from themselves and they do it with justification. The human race has a collective mental illness and the reason you see all of the religious, political and every other sort of division becoming exponentially more heated and intense -- is because a part of the mental illness requires we be in denial of the existence of that mental illness. The illness can not take us over like a demon if we are aware of it, like the vampire can not enter unless invited. Society has taught us that any evil done is acceptable as long as it is in the name of the greater good. Literally any evil. So we condemn others and say "how dare they commit those evils acts" while being completely in denial as we support our governments doing those same evil acts against others in the name of freedom and democracy. So this is what I mean by the narcissist / psychopath does not know what they are doing. Because we don't know what we are doing. It is why Jesus said "forgive them father, for they know not what they do". Unless someone was born in a cave and raised by wolves -- we all have an inner narcissist / psychopath. The question is: will we worship it as our God and put it in control of our lives as if we are demon possessed? Or will we decide instead to view it as a 3 year old screaming in the back of our minds, because we are refusing to let it co-opt us and control us? We all have a demon, or whatever you want to call it, inside of us. We all have that which can "take us over". We are all in this way, "demonically possessed" or whatever term anyone wants to use. The key is to decide who is in control? Are we in control? Or is the demon hitching a ride in control? The more we fear our own inner darkness, the more it can control us. So maybe the psychopath knows us so well, when we allow our inner psychopath to co-opt us and take us over. Kindred recognizes kindred. Like gravitates towards like. Our inner psycho recognizes and connects with the external psycho.

[@notagain779]

Yes, I believe you are correct that they are aware that they're not fair or right in their behavior, but really aren't in touch with why they are compelled to do it.

[@joshuah8401]

Well said.

[@psecdocumentary]

@@notagain779 indeed.

[@psecdocumentary]

@@joshuah8401 thanks.

[@rachelsweets]

👏👏👏👏

[@demigaines5644]

Thank You For Sharing After A 4 Year Relationship With A Narcissists The Worst Thing I Ever Did Was BeCome InVolved With A Overt Narcissists And Not Setting Boundaries.I BeGan Telling The Narcissists After Weeks Of Knowing Him Trusting Him I Told Him My Fears And Within Weeks He BeGan Using My Fears Against Me. He Knew That The Silent ~Treatment Scared Me So He Would Use This As Punishment When I Didn’t Follow His Demands...I Was Horribly Discarded In March.This Person Has Absolutely Nothing To Do With Me What Is So Hurtful Is Going No Contact I Struggle With This.

[@jenniekelly571]

Your life is going to become so much better!! Be glad he left, there is nothing worse than having someone say derogatory things to you every day, controlling you away from family and friends, controlling the money, etc. I'd rather be lonely being alone, then to be sick with some one else. Hang in there!! God Bless 💪🏽🌺😊

[@sarahjohnson8514]

I feel this video gives narcissists too much power/credit. Don’t forget all of them covertly stalk you. They stalk you, they listen in on your conversations, they install hardware on your phone etc etc.

[@sueyoung2839]

I just love it when you say we are not going to put up with anymore bullshixx. Thank you for sharing this lifesaving advice. Denial and cognitive dissonance are mountains to climb🥰

[@joanaescobar8329]

u bring so more pease with ur voice

[@QuartuvLarry]

Meredith smiles sunshine at midnight, and my fear scatters as the shadows

[@midnightbingers]

So, my ex-narc said when she was little, her family would hear footsteps upstairs in her room when nobody was up there... she remembers waking up in the middle of the night and seeing the top of a woman’s head at the foot of the bed and she thought it was her mother and when she sat up in bed, it was a shadow of a woman and she screamed. Her mother contacted a couple of paranormal investigators that came to the house and they claimed they could sense a presence when they walked in the house and when they entered her room, they didn’t want to return to it because it felt very heavy and cold, whatever was in there. Fast forward 18 years or so and I had multiple experiences of a spirit being around her. I woke up in the middle of the night on two separate occasions to find a spirit that “mirrored” her presence, in the room - the first, she was standing at her dresser facing the wall and when I asked her what she was doing up, it vanished and she was dead asleep next to me - the next time it happened, I woke up in the middle of the night and “she” was sitting on her side of the bed, close to the foot, just staring at me, and in that moment, it hit me that it wasn’t my ex and I turned to find once again that she was fast asleep next to me. On ANOTHER occasion, I took some work home and was sitting at the table while my ex was making food and I felt three distinct taps on my right shoulder, what felt like with a long finger nail, and I stopped what I was doing and just stared straight ahead because the only thing that was behind me was a wall about 6 inches away. I turned my head over my shoulder looking at the wall and my ex apparently noticed what was happening and she said my face went white and the hairs stood up on my arm. When she would go into fits of rage, it was like she was possessed and had this dead stare in her eyes like she wanted to murder me and there were absolutely no words that could be said to snap her out of it. Aside from that, it was actually MY intuition that led me to know things about her that there was no way I possibly could have. Narcs study you like a PhD thesis and then proceed to mirror you so it seems like they “get” you. It’s just an elaborate con.

[@carmenpruett8779]

This is exactly what I need to hear right now! This is totally the place I’m stuck in. How to trust yourself enough to walk away without feeling worried. Been single for 3 years now and I am finally feeling complete satisfied with myself and my life. I don’t feel the desire to date at all. Partly because I am really enjoying myself and my time with myself and the important things in my life like my children and I don’t want to take away from that by dating. But also there’s this fear of getting stuck in another narc situation and being disappointed. Really love your videos, you’re hitting everything right on for me!

[@tc2333]

Thank you Meredith for such intriguing information regarding the spiritual side of narcissists.

[@mariag5201]

Hi Meredith I am in the process of moving out from the Narc in my life and that's why Ive been reading your book The Journey these days. I literally can't be more grateful for it. The second threshold is the chapter that has opened brutally my eyes and I just wanted to say THANK YOU, I feel renovated and with a very different perspective about everything, we are blessed to have people like you in this world. ❤️

[@InnerIntegration]

I’m so glad my book is helping you!

[@notagain779]

Happy New Year, Meredith! This video really hit home. It's so true that narcissists want to get you as fast as possible into their net. In my case, it wasn't romantic, but she definitely could benefit greatly by being really cozy with me if I'd bought into the tricks. She wanted to pull me into her world really fast, by almost pushing down my throat, "shared" interests, which would necessitate ongoing regular contact. I could count several different tactics she employed all told by you on this video. She did it to others who could benefit her, also. It helped that we could compare notes....omg, it was harrowing to try to discourage her. Blank stares from me didn't even work. What helped me was to try to find out if I could pull HER into MY world. Ha! She had ZERO interest in getting to know me! That's when I suddenly dropped her. Now she's all shocked and confused! I know that years ago this person was involved in the Human Potential Movement. Do you know anything about this seemingly "good" Movement, which some people corrupted for their own devious plans? It's so creepy. Thank you for your eye-opening work!

[@mandolaa]

The collective unconscious of the dark forces. Wow, i totally agree👏

[@lesliesexton7555]

It took 5 years to realize it...that when it seems to good to be true, it usually is. I had thought that a person would have been my lifelong friend. We talked about everything and shared so much...and not so much on her part. She turned out to be a covert narcissist and I was sooo damaged. I walked away last year and I know that I am healing. I am loving myself again finally after years of rejecting and neglecting myself. Thank you for this video.

[@KimsLantern]

Another great video, thanks for that!!! By the way, I hope you’re happy and healthy, Meredith!!!!! I hope your 2018 was great and I hope your new year is going great so far as well!!! 👍🏼👍🏼⚡️⚡️

[@ianaustin5541]

Standards and boundaries, also selftrust - gotta tattoo that. *LoL* Holy cow! Meredith, you are .... "WoW". Thank you Thank you Thank you.

[@terisaccone4238]

Hi M: Have been watching you on and off for about 18 months as I heal from my covert Narc mom( who is now elderly and living alone far from the rest of my family of origin) . You’re simply brilliant. I live on another continent but that was not planned due to her ( my spouse is from here, so we raised our kids away from the USA ) I’m sure living in Europe has been a huge gift on an interpersonal level that I now fully appreciate in retrospect that I got away, accepted my mother’s NPD and miraculously I’m managing better via gray rocking . I was far too codependent as an empath to not let my family drag me down if I was close by. Thank you for being there consistently and with such compassion, wit & wisdom 💕

[@divinelyminded4315]

Just heard somebody say that narcissism isn't a mental disorder but a soul disorder in that rings true for some reason

[@evangarvey2821]

I know I've already commented, but this video is so great in so many ways!!! It was also really awesome you talked about NEEDS. I personally have began to take responsibility and fulfill my own needs which helps with establishing boundaries. The Narc doesn't "get" us so well. Thanks again, Meredith!

[@ObscurasCozyCult]

Hi Meredith, I just wanted to say I really appreciate all of the effort in informing people about narcissism, psychopathy and how to identify it in a relationship. I didn’t realize I was in on until I broke up with my ex on a split decision after one too many unusual occurrences in the “fidelity” aspect of the relationship. It was only 7 months but those months were the worst ever yet it was so covert that I couldn’t justify the way I was feeling to others. Needless to say I dealt with 3 years of his blackmail and his attempts to ruin my reputation, as well as homicide and suicide threats. I’m going through therapy now for it but your videos gave me the sense of of validity that I NEVER received from the people closest to me. Thank you so much! I’m so relieved to know it wasn’t entirely me.

[@FabalociousDee]

Narcissists and psychopaths know how to appeal to the vulnerabilities in the image you project. This trick can work even when you're a strong & authentic person who knows who they are. At a primal level, we are social creatures, and narcs/psychos can exploit our desire to be part of a collective, even when we know better. When you really listen to what they say, though, you realise they don't know you at all and that the only reason they get to you is that they mess with the image you try to project. Once you get past that, it becomes real easy to see past them.

[@ernestobusnelli5892]

Hello Meredith. How is it going and thank you for your vids. Hola y Feliz Año Nuevo. ;-)

[@stephenn77]

This is SO spot on!! I felt and saw the evil force IN MY HOME! I have never felt so creeped out. It’s like I had an out of body experience. So strange! I have never had such a weird experience like I had with the narc. It’s like they have a different voice when the mask comes off. They’re possessed! I had to sage my place after. It took a long time for the bad/negative energy to leave my home. Bad memories are still there.

[@carrierobinson8046]

Makes so much sense about them attracting the dark forces. It also explains why they get worse--we all have a choice whether to move toward the light or toward the dark and we either get better or worse as we move along that chosen path.

[@vivipsi]

Thank you very much Meredith. You are always clear and very precise in your talks!

[@Traceyi1000]

There's no there ...there. No empathy but I believe they have a whole lot of worries. Working on not blaming myself for falling for the BS when I didn't know any better. Taking care of my own needs. No night in shining armour.

[@elanabethfariss117]

We also need to remember that while these things do exist, no matter what you call them, dark forces, evil whatever that there is so much good also, though it may seem scarce at times. Love is real and we are not alone, help is available. One person I used to work with was playing me. Everyone loves this person, she is held in very high esteem as a teacher, mentor, etc. She would engage me in conversations and say things that sounded lovely and encouraging. When we planned to get together she stood me up. She pretended to want to befriend me, but the last thing she ever said to me when I said that we should still get together sometime was, "Let's not since we never did, and I'll see you at walmart." Lol, right? It was the best thing she could have done. She left the school and found another position and when I look back on our experiences, I can honestly say bad things happened because of my association with her. Thanks again, Meredith.

[@jessiccabatista6044]

I knew it before I married him. I suppressed my intuition. 5 years of hell on earth followed. I almost died. I'm here. I'm better.

[@SaraX2024]

I don't know... you don't have to be "demonic" to know people well. For instance, I knew my ex-narc pretty well, not just because I have a very good intuition but I was educated in narcissistic abuse before I met him. I could see through him and also knew what his vulnerabilities and insecurities were quite quickly, but I didn't exploit them. We as empaths can see through them and pick up a lot of signals if we remain attentive enough just as much as they can and do and there is certainly nothing "demonic" about me or any other empath out there. Also, I am INTJ, and we gather facts and information and analyze just as much as they do and base our knowledge on experience and what we have learned. It had always been easy for me to see through people and get the big picture of them and sometimes, they were either amazed or shocked when I gave advice and they felt I literally stripped them down to the bones of their being. But it's like you say, we want to be in a relationship with someone who gets us, and they don't - they fear being seen through and exposed eventually.

[@Rhiaanon]

If you want to see Stockholm Syndrome and a narcissist sexual predator watch Surviving R Kelly documentary on the Lifetime channel. For those of us that have been abused it will resonate deeply!

[@maxwellking3326]

On a personal note! You know Merridith, I am always pleased to see you come up on my KZbin, although I live on the opposite side of the world (Australia). What struck me is the fact that you are an attractive and accomplished individual who I would be delighted to know personally. So why the long history of Narc abuse + Narc bullshit? All of us have suffered it, and that is why I watch Narc videos for an hour per day. (at least). Our stories are all similar and consist of bullies who love to persecute innocuous - innocent people...., and what to do about them. On that score I was an accomplished pilot using my Narc father's airplanes until he made it a repeated litany of VERY near death experiences.... My 2nd wife called him out and refused to fly anymore and so he was grounded and the toys were sold. But, he would do lethallly dangerous things which were unbelievable. I miss flying, but not at that cost.! And so, my thoughts are not well organized as to what I want to say to you, and he dropped dead 18 years ago much to my relief. I was No Contact and only felt relief! My mother was an even worse Narc also No Contact)... Narc abuse is a vexatious puzzle and Narcs are very sick puppies who are genetically seriously mentally ill. It is a dangerous + hurtful puzzle which is gradually being solved. Many Thanks Max

[@debbiemoore2747]

I cannot thank you enough. You videos have helped me so much and am finally attracting healthy people to my life. You are beautiful and wise ❤

[@tnw1003]

Thanks Meredith! Have you seen the new Netflix series "YOU"? it's a really good (and chilling!) depiction of a psychopath, narrated from his point of view. Worth a watch!

[@InnerIntegration]

I just saw the first two eps last night! Holy shit!

[@markc8187]

Thank You for a really good video :) I have often fallen i the narc-trap. Lovebombing/mirror/gifts/big fake smile ect. Now that know more about narcissism I´m not that naiv. Now the narcs are running away from me. I don´t have a lot of people in my life now, but I feel peaceful and respected. Trust your self. You are born good enough to see who the toxic person is:)

[@anniemargareth7617]

How they connect: Commonality, mirroring, vulnerabilities, fills in the gaps, accepting, wanting. Protection: Standards, boundaries, willing to walk away.

[@lrowlands53]

I love how you’ve characterised this, though it is worth considering a narc is working in survival mode and isn’t troubled by diversions like empathy and compassion so can focus their intellect on reading the next likely supply. Yes, the narc tricked me into feeling validated, heard, valued. Her reveal was that she harped on about how much more ‘intelligent’ she is than me - the proof being her forensic memory for things about ‘me’. I found it laughable since she couldn’t put a sequence of logical thoughts together and I’m a retired uni lecturer. She also told me she was fed up with me going on about my needs and boundaries (I mentioned them once). Luckily this is just a dark fog receding into the last.

[@jenniekelly571]

Hurrah for yoyu!!!!!

[@user-ee5om8wy7u]

If I actually pay attention to my gut feelings, then I'll have to stay away from 99.9% of people that I ever see in my life, honestly. But I don't mind. I prefer to be alone than be together with fake friends/partners.

[@Lara_Larimar]

That's why its better not to trust anyone until you really get to know the person.

[@FrancesShear]

What a good idea. Mindfulness while dating instead of being preoccupied with expectations.Come to think of it i need to do a better job of the same in the rest of my life too. Narcissists are only pretending at first to get their mark whom they are grooming so that their mark will be more likely to believe them when they start using excuses for the discard stage when they are going on to their next mark with you being expected to then worship them during only booty calls. If you have never been hurt by someone practising narcissism before by the time you realize what is happening and that another human being could be like that by that time your self esteem and self worth has already been compromised until you get counselling from someone who has been trained to help people who have suffered from narcissistic abuse.

[@reikiwarrior8888]

Thank you so much your videos help me so much.... i feel vulnerable again...the narc sister called again out of the blue and left a voice message i heard a little bit as their numbers are blocked soon as i hear i get this inky explosion in my heart...i don't want to sink again, i have two small kids and I'm just like what do i do? all i can do is turn to God ...but thank you so much for being direct and honest about the truth. I really get so much help from you xxx

[@tzenipappa2721]

You will be fine dear, remember you are not alone. God bless you.

[@jessiccabatista6044]

You have helped me more than you know, Meredith. Thank you for you.

[@pam164]

Also we seem to have a chord we can't cut i have felt my ex narc close to me dreaming of him and i haven't seen or spoke to him in 18 months, Christmas eve just gone there was a blank message off him in my spam folder hes blocked! But i kind of knew i was going to get a message and i was right! Its creepy! 😨

[@erikavaleries]

I discovered recently that the extremely high empathy we develop as children of narcissists, as a type of Stockholm Syndrome, also occurs in Cluster B Personalities in a more manipulative way - they are absolutely "emotional psychics" as we are, but for dark purposes. At times before I had help to identify NPD in my family and relationships, my empathy could be considered "pathological" because I was helping someone at the expense of myself without realizing it. I was just conditioned this way and never taught to think another way until the consequences were horrific - which is unusual for just being empathic!! It is sad to think that Altruism and High Empathy also may be a result of child abuse and narcissistic abuse - but I even see now how much my empathy (healthy!) and compassion have increased by learning about NPD as an adult. It just makes sense. We took opposite coping mechanisms as children to cope with unreliable, abusive adults.

[@susiep.7372]

Fantastic video !!! I wished, I heard your advice earlier !! But at the end, I'm out of that nightmare !! I learned so much about myself !! That's the good thing I take out of it !! Thank you so much for your help !! Greetings from Germany 🤗😉

[@Rhiaanon]

Awesome video and so true! Also, have deal breakers and stand on them!. Soon as they do break one, permanently bounce out of his/her life!

[@stephenn77]

How does the narcissist seem to know where you’ll be at any given time?? So weird and SO creepy!

[@user-ee5om8wy7u]

When and if I meet the right person, I don't even want to feel like my life gets better with them. I want to feel that my life is equally wonderful without them as it is with them. So, parting with them will be, though somewhat sad/nostalgic yet never heartbreaking or tragic.

[@pamelac.5600]

Happy New Year Meredith!! Thank you for all the help you've given me. I'm so happy the days of feeling like I am going crazy, are all behind me. 💖

[@stephenwright1540]

That point on insecurity ... I understand that we all have insecurities, but when a narc, whether overt or covert, it’s as though your insecurities are heightened. It’s as if they know your buttons to a point where you ooze insecurity, even when youve never been like that before. This happened to me and everything came out like my fault.

[@echopathy]

cannibalistic spirits - see wetiko .. and thanks again

[@phoenixbg2096]

Wow, really great video. This is something everyone Should follow when they are meeting a new person

[@geraldinemckernan9129]

Happy new year Meredith from Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@holisticenergymedicineappr7898]

I have the answer! They have nothing to lose, nothing to attach, not thinking of tomorrow... Well that gives a great power over people and situations. Even to normal people. It gives relaxation to see things clear. Unluckily they use it for not so positive purposes. However, the cure should be not to have fear to lose my face, or my prestige or even my children... Not to fear is a great powerful weapon against dark forces... Happy and careless... And nevertheless understanding that when the enemy is unhappy... That s a good sign I am moving forward... Otherwise why would he be angry on the first place!

[@shaanz2.087]

Perfect explanation. Awesome. These demons are like parasites thriving on our insecurities & vulnerabilities

[@jenniekelly571]

I LOVE your videos. I have learned so much from your channel, I used to have self-esteem issues, even though it seemed I had no reason to feel that way & I attracted men like you're talking about. I've stayed away from men for over 6 years because I don't trust myself to see early red flags & because I don't want to be treated that way anymore. This video gave me insight and I greatly appreciate that. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge. God Bless 😊

[@PauloGaetathe_original]

Meredith, thank you so much for this and all the previous videos. I have learned so much from you and your true wisdom. You are bringing so much joy and light to so many people´s lives.

[@jessiccabatista6044]

Meredith is a godsend.

[@Eleniexp]

I couldn’t tell at all until six months after when we moved in together

[@risingeagle6332]

The person I married used two emotionally manipulative stories on me that was misleading and disarming. The first story opened the door and got me to lower my guard, and then the second story was the coup de grace. 30 years later, I found out the second story was phony. Blew me away. I was a young, naive and clueless. Great message by the way.

[@lannaintajak80]

"Kill that fantasy"...... The harsh truth😔

[@bonzaibb12]

Meeting your own needs is huge ... Even when it comes to sexual needs. Hormones are like being on drugs when you first meet someone. All rational decision making goes out the window. For the ladies don't shave down there, wear you're granny panties and take care of youre own needs until you are sure you really know someone.

[@Traceyi1000]

I agree with you. Groom yourself "down there" for you if you wish. Not for any other person. Totally agree.

[@JenniferBui]

Masturbating is the way 😉

[@stephb4ever]

It is partially because they "interview" you, most of it is them intuitively knowing because they are the opposite of empath. They have as much empathy as an empath, they just choose to exploit it whereas the empath chooses to help others with what they know. It's not voodoo, it's choices. It's a misnomer that they don't have empathy, they can feel what others feel, they just don't care. Empaths and Narcs are the flipside of the same coin, with similar backgrounds, parenting, they just choose different paths.

[@periwinkleplans9715]

Hi Meredith. Your videos are so helpful. Thank you so very much! Could you ever address issues in the future regarding feelings of loss and grief after going no contact with narcissistic and basically asshole family members? I know it’s better that I have no contact when these family members treat me like crap but need help with moving on and not ruminating about how they go on like nothing has even happened. Thanks!

[@InnerIntegration]

Good idea!

[@JenniferBui]

This is something I'm thinking about

[@user-xl8ku8pb2o]

Meredith you are amazing. Thank you. I appreciate you and your council so much. Big hugs to you!

[@HolyTrinity333]

To commenter below my narcs are son and @ mother ... And my pattern has been to unconsciously magnetized the same in romance... I’ve found the shift is in decades of deep deep difficulty. May your healing be yours.