Why Men Play Games w/ Stephan Speaks - Girl Stop Playin Podcast Episode 13

Am I playing myself? Might be a question you've caught yourself asking. In this episode, Stephan Speaks answers it for you!
Welcome to the Girl Stop Playin Podcast where we encourage you to stop playing with your potential and start WERKing for what you want in life and in love! On Episode 13, we're getting into the mind of a man with Author and Certified Relationship Coach, Stephan Labossiere.
[2:16] This or that Game
[5:10] Relationship status ….
[5:22] Is there a common single women issue?
[7:34] What are “I need healing” red flags?
[11:27] How do you feel about the 90-day rule? In addition to sex and dating?
[14:31] How do we get to the root of fixing miscommunication between the man and woman?
[17:58] How do men see sex?
[19:11] Do men have sex with women they don’t like?
[ 20:56] What’s the difference [in men wanting sex with you vs a relationship]?
[24:00] What is your advice for women that are getting played?
[26:51] How do you be inquisitive without being annoying?
[30:28] Do you recommend therapy?
[31:59] What is your advice for dating potential?
[42:44] How do we be who we are while also being the woman
[ 46:31] What are some of the things to unlock feminine energy?
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Who I AM:
Koereyelle is a former 3rd grade teacher who turned her $32,000 salary into a million dollar digital brand. She's been featured by Forbes, Black Enterprise, NBC, Fox, and Essence as an International Speaker & Multi-Media Personality for her service to women around the world.
She's the Host of The Girl Stop Playin' Podcast where she encourages women to stop playing with their potential and start working for what they want in life and in love. Koe is passionate about helping women make the money + get the honey!
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[@RacilleAshley-sf7yv]

Communicating and getting things out, into the open, is a stress reliever your, insides, as well as your HEART WILL, Thank you! 🌸

[@ndogarakumbare9471]

As a guy, I feel like there is a lot to learn from Stephan. He tells it how it is and I know he can't compete with the red pill community, but I feel like he can teach men a lot when it comes to relationships. Big shout out!

[@jessicaapaloo8049]

Great interview. Stephan truly is spirit-led and although I been watching him for a while [as in years], he ALWAYS manages to bring me some enlightenment every time!

[@koereyelle]

Thank you for watching!

[@RacilleAshley-sf7yv]

GREAT! TALKING, to CLEAR the AIR."

[@CrystalPhoenix1979]

I think sometimes it’s easier for some women to look through rose colored glasses. We have been fed fairytales with white picketed fences since childhood. Recognizing that perspective & doing the healing work helps put those mindsets into focus. Doesn’t mean you can’t have an amazing love story just means we must more become realistic & logical in our outlook on dating & relationships. Believe him when he says he’s not ready. Move on. Don’t invest until you meet someone who is.

[@koereyelle]

So true! Thank you for watching:)

[@beefaye18]

I feel that about the "90day rule" anybody can fake for 3 months.... ✌

[@koereyelle]

Right!

[@aprildanielle2693]

💯🗣🗣🗣

[@anewbeginning77]

This is one of THE BEST interviews. Hands. Down.

[@koereyelle]

Wow! Great compliment. Thank you so much

[@lauriemayer6312]

If a man isn’t giving you what you want, you don’t need to give him what he wants. If he isn’t giving you a commitment, you don’t need to give him sex. Plus, If sex is merely a “pleasurable experience” for some men without being a connective experience, isn’t it true that they still need to heal? That feels like a very unhealed way of looking at sex!

[@petermulinzi1288]

is sex a pleasurable experience u take part in or something u offer??

[@NovemberBronze]

As a guy, sex starts off as just a pleasurable experience but it grows from there when we're with a woman we choose as the one we want to settle down with. Our nature is different to a woman's nature, men desire a lot of 😺, women desire a lot of 1 🍆 they have a "connection with or trust". We don't need to like you to smash and that's the reality of it, so to answer your question, men heal by leaning on strong men to show them the right example and help them focus on a direction to lead a woman...women don't have the right formula to help a man heal or course correct.... masculine men and father figures can do that.

[@TomikaKelly]

​​​​​@@petermulinzi1288 Tbh, it depends on the partner and the situation. For SOME women, it actually is a pleasurable experience that they take part in. If you ask any man they will ALL tell you that they're putting it down in the bedroom. But when you get many of those wives/girlfriends/side chicks alone, it's a different story. I've even been told by some women that after sex with their partner, they still have to take care of their own needs in the bathroom. A lot of men aren't as good in bed as they think/believe they are so, in a lot of relationships, it's something being offered to keep the relationship going.

[@young-gifted-black3520]

Starting to accept my faults, heal from my past trauma and trying to be a better individual in general where I can be a blessing and add value in my future friendships, relationships. I want this so bad , great interview.

[@koereyelle]

You will have it! Keep seeing and doing the work

[@KathleeninMexico]

Telllllll it Stephan! Re: masculine men. Phillip Folsom says that women will break rules for Alpha males but make them for Betas. Great show Koereyelle.

[@Ohkeh640]

Healed happy people don’t judge and condemn others. Agreed

[@koereyelle]

Thank you for watching!

[@priyankalal3096]

I think I've never been into any other podcost in my entire life, loved it. His perspective was new and deep to me.

[@jesusgenerationtakingover]

This here is too good. I am sitting over here at three something in the morning. I was like I’m gonna give it 10 minutes but now I’m finishing it he is speaking my language now I know I am crazy and am learning too. Girl stop playing.❤

[@Carter989]

Drop the mic!!!! Use the same energy that you have with a child to a man 🤯🤯🤯. I ❤ it!!!! Thank you!!!!

[@koereyelle]

Thank you for watching!

[@jt7526]

Great convo

[@moniquehall1920]

This was an excellent conversation! Thank you for this!

[@therealzenobia]

This is the best podcast episode I’ve ever seen! I loved his perspective and your questions were perfect. So glad I came across this pod💕

[@koereyelle]

Thank you for watching!

[@NavigatingSinglehood]

powerful message

[@koereyelle]

Thanks for watching ♥️

[@theheleons9158]

Guys do the over talking a lot too. I dated someone who always cuts me off midsentence. I tried dating him for three months, but everytime, I try to talk, he would jump in and talk about himself. Suffice to say, the relationship did not work. He keeps telling me I check most of his boxes, but did not realize I have boxes I'm checking too. LOL!

[@newtochrist6239]

The interview I never knew I needed. Thanks for this one!

[@koereyelle]

Glad it was helpful!

[@livlove8142]

I agree with him on the whole so called "dating down" thing. Well said. "Brain washed". Good point on connection. Like some people need to get over themselves

[@mslove2913]

Potential "sometimes" is an imaginary perception...... POWERFUL dialogue, from beginning to the end 🙏

[@hbcukids]

We appreciate your support!

[@queensugar8332]

This was my first time watching your show. I enjoyed the conversation and your guess was excellent

[@taishankm]

I ❤ his honesty. So refreshing 😂

[@queenjuliet4373]

I'm really blessed by this video

[@jesusgenerationtakingover]

This is my first time actually watching your show and yeah you doing a good job I like it I already subscribed

[@koereyelle]

Thanks so much for watching and subscribing!

[@jesusgenerationtakingover]

@@koereyelle you’re welcome 😇

[@Boheluvchannel]

Wow. Some of this was just super eye opening. Truly.

[@koereyelle]

Thank you for watching:)

[@jonathanreynolds3667]

Stephan speaks the truth. Good dude

[@cokolove3152]

This was a ouch for me…I’ve heard it from a man before and I felt so unworthy…hearing it while I’m working to become better and less masculine still makes me feel a way because life had gave me no choice but to be that way…Praying I can continue on this journey…thank you for this people like me need it …who have had no guidance ❤

[@iyanttahowellmd]

You asked Stephan some excellent questions! Stephan never disappoints!💙🌟

[@koereyelle]

Thank you so much!

[@qcobbin]

I’m just now listening to this and it’s making me wonder now if I should be praying to be ready to move to a new state. The men I’ve been around where I live can’t seem to figure out if they want a woman to initiate from time to time or if they want to only be the ones to initiate.

[@koereyelle]

Also pray that God allows you to align with your purpose and everything will fall into place. Including the man he has for you!

[@yourstrulyjennifer3426]

I am wondering why this is not having over 100k subscribers. Great conversation. I learnt so much. New subie... God bless you both 🥰

[@sharonkearney7635]

Awesome podcast, I learnt so much and especially new perspectives on somethings I thought were right attitudes to have in relationships.

[@koereyelle]

thank you for watching!!

[@jensteroneR]

Thanx for the pause

[@amohammed5]

Thank you for this refreshing interview.

[@koereyelle]

Thanks for watching!

[@timmyspov]

Wow, what a solid interview, she asked great questions and the interviewee flowed who is this lady?!?!?

[@koereyelle]

Thank you for watching!

[@shanteriadawson1916]

This was Really Good!

[@ellydestiny8105]

Really enjoyed this podcast!

[@koereyelle]

Thank you for watching!

[@TynishaTalks]

Stephan never misses!!! I had to check myself and said we only have rules for people we don’t like. That’s so true! You asked some dope questions. Still watching but love the energy so far.

[@koereyelle]

Thank you so much!

[@tracysworld8843]

This is excellent information and interview.✅🎯💯

[@koereyelle]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@genaculbreath6853]

Love @stephanspeaks!!! But this interview was next level...the dialogue was amazing with you both. 🙏🏾

[@koereyelle]

Thank you for watching!

[@euniqueg8292]

This was an amazing interview!

[@koereyelle]

Aww thank you for watching:)

[@everydaypeople4855]

That was some tough ass questions and this was just the beginning of the interview. Cupid or Love Train come on how can you choose. Classics. Then Fresh Prince or Martin, damn! She must be an attorney.

[@koereyelle]

Lol thanks for watching!

[@everydaypeople4855]

@@koereyelle welcome

[@felicialemons4356]

I’m always baffled by women using this language “potential” based on income. Life ebbs and flows for people. I’ve been in a relationship when I was on my low and that individual knew I had a vision and was about my hustle. I’m the same way, my only turn off is if I meet a man and he is not MOVING TOWARDS his vision. If it’s all talk, that a problem. Otherwise, I can get with a man who is on their Active journey. I’ve been there. I’ve not always BEEN, and someone supported me as I was on my way to BE.

[@Baileyville112]

Very good podcast, informative. Many people will benefit from this hour, if they accept what Stephan said.

[@nellysrapyan]

Great conversation 👌 great insights

[@hbcukids]

Thank you so much

[@koereyelle]

Thank you for watching!

[@damilareademosu61]

Thanks so much for watching! Be sure to subscribe to the channel for new episodes 💕

[@Kiley1981]

Fantastic! Loved the transparency. The interview flow was great! As a presently single woman, I will definitely use the information. For a future topic, I would love to learn about where, when, and how to meet quality single men. #Subscribed

[@koereyelle]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@beyoujj]

Great interview! 🥰

[@koereyelle]

Thank you!

[@seetasingh4642]

True had an argument with a good man he did not feel listened to.

[@koereyelle]

Thank you for sharing :)

[@BGZ2022]

Love it! Can you please do another one about feminine energie 💕

[@koereyelle]

Definitely!!

[@zenarodriguez23]

Me encanta escucharlo!!

[@amberts180]

57:40 I have almost never had a woman cut too deep and thrown private info back at me, but I have had men do this OFTEN!! I really think he should consider that’s an intimate partner thing and not a woman thing.

[@thelovechannel7236]

I don’t know why but hearing how men can just hookup with no interest in love , commitment , or even like or be attracted to the women is disturbing me. Women can definitely do the same on occasion , we have savage moments , even use it as a commodity , but for the most part we look for someone who will fulfill many obligations and have this fantasy in our minds that they adore us , only us and have been celibate and cleansed by the Holy Spirit before we make passionate soul binding love that will set the world on fire.

[@charlesd3970]

😂🤣....it's true. Sex is just a physical thing for pleasure and to boost our egos. But sex is deeper for us when it's a woman that we love. That's why men take cheating way harder than women.

[@FeelinErie]

⁠@@charlesd3970To follow up on that, so you mean that if a woman cheats sexually on her man, he takes that worse than an emotional affair?

[@TomikaKelly]

​@@charlesd3970 This is precisely why I always tell other women to not sleep with any man until you're in a committed relationship...

[@TomikaKelly]

It's disturbing to you because it's animalistic. You don't expect a human to behave like an animal. When an animal gets in heat their reaction is to have sex with any other random animal. It's humans that have the cognitive and emotional abilities to rationalize sex but, as described by many men from their own mouths, they're basically just humans in heat...🤷‍♀️

[@OfficialTottie]

This was SOOOO good! Thanks so much for this conversation. 💕

[@hbcukids]

Thanks for watching!

[@koereyelle]

Thank you for watching :)

[@eshycmwangi]

🎤Learn to Listen to God🎤💯

[@koereyelle]

That's the key!

[@shevernwellington940]

My goodness Stephan!! So much gems right here 🙏🏾💕

[@koereyelle]

:)

[@brandyhouse2269]

Hmmmm lol been feeling off & I told him something was off. Has for awhile it used to never feel false. I was so happy when we talked then it switched during a text it was way off

[@hybridangel3403]

we all do because we get told we are suppose to.

[@NovemberBronze]

As a guy, sex starts off as just a pleasurable experience but it grows from there when we're with a woman we choose as the one we want to settle down with. Our nature is different to a woman's nature, men desire a lot of 😺, women desire a lot of 1 🍆 they have a "connection with or trust". We don't need to like you to smash and that's the reality of it. Men heal by leaning on strong men to show them the right example and help them focus on a direction to lead a woman...women don't have the right formula to help a man heal or course correct.... masculine men and father figures can do that. 😉

[@eliagudes]

Wow!!!! 👏👏👏👏👏

[@hbcukids]

Thanks for tuning in!

[@koereyelle]

Thank you for watching!

[@Leochick-kj2cz]

Lady's when you shoot your shot, don't forget you have to be plant-based ... 😄😁😆😆

[@koereyelle]

🤣🤣🤣

[@shegossipz]

I’m literally in therapy lol right now LOL this is THERAPYYYYYYYYYYYY

[@koereyelle]

yesssss! Thank you for watching

[@annestaudacher972]

I think that they are both kind people who tell it how it is in a very constructive way. Thank you, both! However, I am still a bit disgusted with society (men and women) in general. It sometimes feels like physical attraction and wealth are considered to be way too important by way too many people. (Stephan is talking about sex on the first date and the man paying for dinner a lot. I am a woman, and I always offer to pay or at least share the bill. Doesn't emancipation include financial equality as well? It's nice if they offer if they really mean it, but nobody should have to buy anything with sex or money. I agree with him about the simple, inexpensive first date. And a guy who asks to go to his or my place on the first date - especially if it's in a completely wrong way, is already at high risk of me stopping everything right there.) What about having principles, values and a kind heart? Being best friends and a mutual support system? Doesn't society put way too much importance on being in a romantic relationship anyway? What if someone is not what mainstream people consider to be attractive, sexy and successful, but they still have high standards as everybody should? Ideally, I would like to have the perfect marriage. Right now I am happy with my boyfriend and it could be the real deal. But isn't it better to be happy alone than unhappy in a bad relationship? I like how Stephan says that he is single and seems happy with it. No one should force it or be desperate, right?

[@brandyhouse2269]

Fresh Prince

[@lauriemayer6312]

Ooh, I agree with so much but kinda disagree with you on that one point… The woman very much IS the prize that the man should want to win, simply because she is the feminine energy…and if he’s truly in his masculine energy, he wants to keep winning her every day🤍 Of course, she should reciprocate with her admiration and appreciation of him so he can definitely feel that she likes him. But it is his job to pursue, otherwise it’s too easy for her to feel unsafe and to be thrown into her masculine… Then the energy balance is just off. So if he’s choosing between two women, and he goes for the crazy one instead of the calm one, he might not have healed enough to feel secure enough in himself to choose the calm woman who cares for him. He may need to have the drama because it’s more obvious. But that’s not healthy. And let’s face it… If the two of you were meant to be together, it really doesn’t matter what other woman might be lurking… If he’s meant to be yours, he will be💕

[@soniagonzalez1462]

Nope. No couch from the corner 😂😂

[@terriunharris1955]

Steve Harvey said the same thing about the rule it is for the woman not the man. Women misinterpreted what was being said and now they're getting the same results. They thought it was game and a way to tame a man no it's to tame yourself. As said in this interview women feel used if they are expecting a relationship and end up with a one night stand. Steve Harvey was telling the woman not to be so anxious and get to know if this is a person you want to go further with or not. Basically put look before you leap ladies. Again women control sex men control relationships.

[@bettycarmella1127]

Yes lawd🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽❤️

[@terib5467]

Didn't really get into question poised, why men play games, but good conversation

[@koereyelle]

Thank you for watching!

[@jacquelinejackson5191]

Stephan to experience life from a different perspective by adopting the persona of a woman in disguise, engaging in the daily life of a black woman dating a black man. Following this experience, he can share his insights. By the way, I, as a woman with clear boundaries, including abstaining from pre-marital sex, emphasize that the stereotypical view of men as uncontrolled beings is overrated. The ongoing debate surrounding this issue seems endless. It's important to assert that many women seek meaningful relationships and marriage rather than solely pursuing transient experiences. The focus should be on building connections and establishing committed partnerships before considering intimacy.

[@livlove8142]

I def have a physical type as a woman. For sure

[@christinaanthony210]

Great interview but I noticed your site just says #blacklove etc what about other races?

[@liawhitney2202]

If others have the same issue we will be happy to welcome them. I think they're focusing on changing the stereotype around black love.

[@koereyelle]

We love promoting love in a community that is so deserving and receives it the least:) Thank you for watching!

[@Calligirl45]

So basically women are responsible for knowing and seeing all. Men just keep doing what you do. Smh

[@LadyLynn22]

Good Dialog 👏👏 However, That CHILD VS. YOUR DATING PERSON EXSAMPLE " NOT GD " .

[@Calligirl45]

"Smashing and marrying is two different things". Sooooo a man shouldnt practice being with the type of woman he wants to marry?

[@livlove8142]

That's rt....gotta be masculine

[@jens8223]

Hey Stephan 😉❤️

[@loridibernardo4926]

❤🙌🙌🙌🤘

[@paulavukicevic4235]

He is single? When did that happen, I all the time pictured him being happily married?!

[@munix9351]

Nope. Never. Ever. Just making money from women. That's what they all do.

[@nursegaines3519]

🤔true

[@yyc246]

Me too specially he always wears ring 🧐

[@natalieneverson1001]

So Stephan is single 😕

[@nazikiwe8259]

Why single people trying to be relationship coaches and give relationship advice?🤔

[@violetasw1880]

"Some of these woman are sa-vage" 😬 (jk)