Widowhood journey and Regrets over 70!

Thank you for visiting my channel.
Here is my link to the book I mentioned in this video. I hope it blesses you and others. 💕
www.amazon.com/Widow-Thoughtf...
I’m Connie, mother of 2 beautiful girls, Grandmother of 8, widowed after 57 years. We were childhood sweethearts (see my videos got my painful journey of being a new widow and my healing process. I hope my videos can help anyone in some small way that is going through the same journey.). I am 78 years young and I live in my little Shabby Chic, French Victorian home near Disneyland and the beach and the mountains! I love to share about my grandkids, travel, decorating, fashion, makeup, health, lifestyle over 70 and all kinds of random things for over 70 women. I lovr making Nee friends, so, please leave a comment. Let’s get to know each other, I also have a passion to help others have a more healthy, youthful, happy life with my business: www.GetHealthyWithConnie.com and www.GlowWithConnie.com. I’m on FaceBook every day! Come find me. My personal FaceBook page is / connienorleen and I’m on Instagram at: @connienorleen

[@marilynb8136]

Hello. My retired navy husband died 8 months ago, October 9 of 2023. My daughter asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I wanted a floor length, cozy soft and warm bathrobe. We'll she got me a beautiful robe and I call it my comfort robe. It's like a huge hug wrapped around me. We all need to be comforted and loved.

[@latkins8012]

2-1/2 years since my husband of 50 years died. I’m better in the last few months but the pain, sadness and loneliness is overwhelming. This is first time living alone. My daughter has told me she feels like she has another child. This hurt so bad…I haven’t tried to burden her. My grandchildren get upset when I talk & see my tears. So now I’m sitting here feeling like now what? All other family out of town. My best friend of 40 years wasn’t there for me either. I’ve been to groups but now nothing….I’ve been given lost of advice but not much understanding. They criticize me for not being happy and not wanting to meet new people. What they don’t understand is that I had my person and at 72 don’t want to start over.I loved your video it’s so real just sad we are the only ones who understand. I actually was exploring how to do my own you tube to tell the real feelings of a widow and saw your video. Thank you and love to u🥰

[@patriciaroberts1050]

I am here for you...lets hug and hold hands....my heart is broken 60 years of marriage...now he is gone ...

[@patashton773]

I cant seem to move forward Im trying to just get through each day. Thankyou for being there it looks like alot of us are looking for help god bless you Connie

[@connienorleen]

Hi Pat, I’m sorry I did not see your message. How are you doing?💕

[@pamcornelius9122]

The exact same thing happened with my good friend. I was surprised and saddened to see her true colors. She doesn’t even realize how she failed me.

[@connienorleen]

I’m sorry to hear that. I know it hurts. I think sometimes they just don’t know what to do but it would better if they would just say that instead of disappearing. 🤷‍♀️

[@bebethreads]

Love you, Connie. I lost my husband of 52 years in 2020. You will never know how comforting you have been to me. You perfectly describe what I've been through and continue to go through. Please don't ever stop what you're doing. You are a blessing.

[@connienorleen]

Oh thank you so much for your encouraging words my friend. I know it is still a journey for you too. We are doing this together! ♥

[@connienorleen]

I’m not sure nut I think you asked for that poem I read. Here is the link to it. donnaashworth.com/2021/09/16/you-dont-just-lose-someone-once/

[@connienorleen]

I am just running across your comment again. I want to let you know that I have recently created a Facebook widows group and I would like to invite you to it. We have a great bunch of ladies in the group. If you would like to join us please find me on Facebook and friend me. Then send me a private message and let me know you want to join. We would love to have you. 💕

[@lizlewis9477]

This has been my biggest surprise as a widow of 9 months. Most close friends were absent. But God sent people who didn’t have to, to love on me and support me.

[@connienorleen]

Totally agree! 💕

[@valeriaruzgys8348]

@@connienorleen that is so true

[@nikkipage9132]

I don't have even one friend left since he died. And it doesn't matter. My kids have been my rocks. I have amazing sons and two daughters who all love me. I lost nearly everything we worked 30 years for. But God has taken care of me in miraculous ways. ❤

[@connienorleen]

I’m so glad your family has been there for you! 💕 I really don’t have the friendships like I used to either. It is good to have a girlfriend to talk with and laugh with. Our kids can’t relate to everything. 🥰

[@barbaraboudreau7870]

Hi Connie I just lost my husband 3 weeks ago im going through hell listening to you has helped me im so glad I found this video

[@beckyhighfield1781]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Truly I am. I loss the love of my life 63 days ago💔

[@barbaraboudreau7870]

@@beckyhighfield1781 hi Becky sorry for your loss sweetie I know what your going through all I can say take it one day at a time . I find it helps to talk to my Husband all the time I still say goodnight and good morning to him every day keep watching the videos they really help I Still have my breakdowns and probably always will this is the hardest thing I have gone through I hope u have family and friends to help you through this hand in their they say it gets easier in time I just can't see it yet big hugs for you ❤️

[@wcgl5595]

I am on the same widow journey and for me it’s still unbelievable. It will be 5 years on December 15 since Dwight died. October 21 is a day of sadness as he agreed to go to the ER and our lives forever changed. The suggestions you recommend are very good and right on. You are so sweet. Dwight’s death has changed me forever as he took so much of me with him. I wish all widows a peaceful day. ❤️ GREAT POEM!!

[@connienorleen]

This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I so agree that they take a piece of us with them. Thank you for watching and for commenting and for affirming me. ♥

[@reginarenoude1098]

For me. It is my strong faith and comfort I k ow God is always with me in every aspect of my life. That is number 1. After that, I live a very simple life ..debt free. I worked very hard all my working years, now I find joy in the simplest things. I am in the beautiful Arkansas Ozarks. I have backyard chicks that furnish my eggs, I bake my own bread, cook meals from scratch, cut the cable when my husband passed and I DO NOT listen to the news...I love taking walks, talking to my grandkids and kids. This may sound very boring to many...but I live a peaceful, quiet life. A small group of acquaintances that visit.

[@marilynpeppers1356]

@@reginarenoude1098 …💖

[@beverlyhitt6929]

@@connienorleen ,

[@mightymouse2098]

Yes I had the same experience, my best friend abandoned me 2 weeks after my husband died. I thought nothing of it except she didn't call again or visit. After a month I texted her and asked her why she abandoned me she said she wanted to give me space. Imagine my best friend in my worst time of grief and sorrow wanted to give me space.

[@sallyrose4711]

I can relate to everything you said, even to talking to grandchildren. The poem sums up for me every thing I’ve been going through the last 18 months since my husband of 53 years passed . What I have found to help me is writing a diary come journal to him, telling him how I feel maybe not on a daily biases but every few days and tell him what I have been doing. As you said we each go through this differently but I find this helps me a lot. Kind wishes to all widows we are strong because we have to be

[@shirleygardiner3264]

Thank you for all the awesome thoughts. I didn’t find the support group at the hospice very helpful, but I did love their lending library on grief. I read about 15 books about other people’s grief journeys and I picked up lots of ideas from them. Even after 5 years I have been listening to You Tube videos or Ted Talks on grief. You don’t know what feelings you’ll have until it happens to you. Thanks for sharing your heart.

[@GeminieCricket]

love the pup ❤

[@theresadoyle4394]

I had similar experience. Married 41 yrs. Lost him 9 yrs ago.certain situations popped up.felt overwhelmed. Went thru hurtful criticism by some. Thought I would die of broken heart.for about 3 yrs .it seemed when i tried to move forward in trusting . My acquaintances that I got close to either moved away or passed away.i do enjoy your talks. It seems they just pop up at right time. God bless you for sharing today.!😮

[@user-rx4gi2mh7h]

So true ❤😢.

[@ritayutubeful2]

Everything you state in this video has been my experience. Thank you so much for sharing!

[@starstuff5958]

wow this so so spot on. I was/am so disappointed and hurt at the 'friends' I thought I had when my husband died unexpectedly. I am still sad but I did learn something from this experience. There are a few steller friends that have stuck with me through this. So difficult for anyone to understand about this kind of grief if they haven't experienced it for themselves. The saddest for me is that no one lets me talk about my deceased husband and all I want is to talk about him. So I isolate.

[@connienorleen]

Yes it is a shock when we lose friends after our spouse passes. I agree the one thing we want to do is talk about them. I think it makes people uncomfortable. It’s been 5 years for me and I still talk about him. Not like I did in the beginning but I do talk. Have you been to a grief share group yet? We get to talk there if we want or we can just listen. I recommend you look for a grief share group in the churches and go to one that is just for losing a spouse. 💕

[@7777ddddssss]

"Living When a Loved One Has Died" is a wonderful book that captures all the emotions and path ahead, so beautifully and accurately.

[@connienorleen]

Thank you. Sounds good. I’ll recommend it. 👍🏻

[@dianewilliams5271]

Thanks for sharing this video. It was an encouragement to me. I lost my husband of almost 46 years in 2020. It still does not seem real that this could have happened. Life seems so short, but I'm glad that the Lord is helping me each day. Like you said this grief comes in waves. I'm so glad that it doesn't linger all the time. I try to stay busy with projects. I think this makes me feel of worth when I can stay busy doing something. I don't think anyone understands this until they experience it. I know I didn't.

[@connienorleen]

Hi Diane, I’m so glad my video encouraged you. 💕 I love doing these videos. I wanted to let you know I have recently created a Facebook widows group page and I would love to invite you to join us. We have a great group of ladies in there. You will love them. If you want to join us just find me on Facebook and send me a friend request and then send me a private message letting me know you want to join us. 😄💕

[@joannm5682]

My husband passed 3 months before our 50th anniversary which was yesterday. It was such a hard day, but I am so blessed to have a wonderful family. The day passed with tears and smiles, looking at our wedding photos. My grandchildren are young ( 6 year olds) but yes they feel it too. TY for this.. Peace to you and yours.

[@connienorleen]

I am so sorry for your loss! ♥ Happy Anniversary because you had a wonderful family experience yesterday with your family with pictures and memories. Six year old grandkids are so precious. Get out and do some fun things with them. Take them some fun places, dinners out, ice cream, walks in the park, feeding the birds. It will bless you and them. And talk about your husband so they can remember their grandfather. I am so glad you have such a supportive family. It means a lot. ♥ Blessings to you my friend.

[@joannm5682]

@@connienorleen TY so much and blessings to you as well..

[@beckyhighfield1781]

I'm so sorry for your loss💔. I lost the love of my life 63 days ago. He died 34 days before our 50th wedding anniversary. I know exactly how you feel.💔 May God bless you and keep you!

[@joannm5682]

I feel your pain...May God guide you...prayer and mediation really helps...

[@barnabasschuler9025]

I don't have any friends anymore and I'm not doing so great. I am never alone, because God promised me he is there when I was in deep 💦 water. My faith is holding me up. Some day I will look for some new friends I spent 12 years watching my husband go on his journey into sickness and regaining his health then slipping backwards. I got breast cancer in 2018 and he took me to every treatment for almost 2 years. I feel so adrift.

[@JudyCurtis818]

My husband passed away Jan 5/23. We were married 30 yrs last May. I also had breast cancer in 2018 and like you he took me to all my appointments. This is a new journey we are on, but I so miss him.

[@BUBBLESPOGO]

I'm so sorry dear. I know how hard it is.

[@mariallableu8388]

Wow, you stripped away all the boundaries we as humans put up when hurting. So raw and honest. Thank you! I have a dear friend that I really need to do a better job of being there for her. I never knew what to do. Anyway, may you continue to feel surrounded with laughter and love. God bless you

[@connienorleen]

Thank you. 💕

[@sandygamble182]

Thank you ..,,you are the real thing you never know how I look forward to hear you share…… lost my husband 2020 53 yrs

[@connienorleen]

Oh thank you so much. These are challenging times to get through for sure. I’m going to do a new video today or tomorrow on how long does the grieving last. Make sure you are subscribed and that you click the bell so you will get notified when I put up a new video. And I would love to invite you to join me on FaceBook. Just look for Connie Norleen. I am the only one on there with that name. 😄. If you friend request me please also send me a private message. Sometimes the friend requests get lost. 💕

[@mangisty1007]

That poem is so right on with how I am feeling. I have never experienced this before, it is heartbreaking, it is like I wake up from a dream and realize I am in a nightmare.

[@connienorleen]

Yes I totally get it. It’s like we still expect them to come through the front door or be there when we wake up in the morning. 💕🥰💕. I do have a widows Facebook group that I started last year. If you would like to be added to it, just find me and friend me on Facebook, then private message me that you want to be in the widows group and I will be glad to add you. There is support in numbers. 💕

[@trulee663]

I am sorry for your loss Connie. You are giving a great gift to those who have lost a husband after a lifetime. Thank you!

[@shelaghcozens4725]

I follow you, its as if I'm writing your story my self,every thing u say is what I'm going through,we were in love for 62 years for it to be taken away in a breath ,just like your love. They all say I'm there for you, but they r not,

[@connienorleen]

Oh wow! I’m glad you had 62 years. And you are right, you think they will be there and their not!! 🤷‍♀️. I joined a grief share 12 week group. That helped. I had a book that a friend shared with me and then I started joining new things. 💕

[@kirangautam4744]

lots of love dear.

[@connienorleen]

Thank you my friend.

[@cindynok]

Thank you for a wonderful video. The widow journey is really hard. Hugs, Cindy

[@connienorleen]

Thank you so much Cindy. Yes it certainly is hard and I love the friends I continue to meet here. It is a journey and it is good to go through it together. ♥

[@tammymullins1151]

You are so helpful. Thank you.

[@conniehaley772]

I just love listening to you, you are so real and make me feel so good. It is good to hear that you are going through the same thing I am, very comforting. Thank you.

[@connienorleen]

Thank you Connie. 💕 You are so kind. Have you subscribed to my channel so you don’t miss my new videos?

[@carolynmcintyre110]

Thank you for sharing for being a light for me 🌹

[@connienorleen]

Hi Carolyn, Thanks for watching and commenting. I am so glad that my experiences are a blessing to you. Can you share some of the ways you are being blessed from some of the things I share? It might help others.

[@TwinKarma1]

YES, YES everything you talked about I could relate to. I too thought my best friend would help me thru my husband's death and she just disappeared. I woman I knew from high school was the one who stepped up and called me every day, she saved me. I too feel some resentment toward my friend who I was always there for, it will never be the same. Waiting for my husband to walk in the door at 5 every night was so painful. Sitting down to dinner alone every night, trying to sleep alone, and spending the holidays alone, it has been so painful. I wish I had family for support. I did join a group and they did help in the beginning , but Covid came along and it was disbanded.

[@connienorleen]

Yes totally agree. I’m 3 1/2 years into my loss. It still hurts but not as bad. My friend and I just had lunch and celebrated our birthdays together but you are right it’s just the same. I do value our 18 year relationship so we see each other once in awhile now but it’s not the same.

[@TwinKarma1]

@@connienorleen Believe it or not, your videos have helped me a lot. You made me realize that what I was going thru and how I felt was normal. I don't feel so alone knowing that others are on this journey Thank You

[@connienorleen]

Thank you. 💕

[@marilyngoossens4839]

Hi Connie, what a wonderful poem. Thank you for this wonderful video.. it’s what I really needed,I lost my husband Keith three years ago this month and miss him more everyday and I know that will never end everything you said meant so much,and sadly I lost my brother who was my rock since Keith died last Friday. Your video has really helped Thank you.look forward to watching more your like a special friend around. Love you to. Xx❤️🇬🇧💐

[@connienorleen]

Hi Marilyn, thank you so much for watching and your thoughtful words. I am so sorry you lost, Keith, your other rock too. Praying for you to get through this my friend. I have been meeting with my sister in law that I spoke of in this video. My husband was her brother so we talk about both of our losses and it helps so if you can reach out and have lunch or dinner in a week or two with your sister in law (if she is around), it is very good therapy. And thank you for encouraging me to continue. ♥

[@anag4851]

Thank u for sharing. I also ordered the book. I can't wait to read it.❣

[@connienorleen]

Hi Ana, I'm glad you ordered the book. I found it very help0ful. How long has it been since your husband passed?

[@anag4851]

@@connienorleen a month ago, 9/7/21.😭

[@connienorleen]

@@anag4851 Oh my, I'm glad you ordered the book. We need help when we are a new widow. A friend of mine said, "I don't know how to act or what to do, I've never been a widow before." Great wisdom in that statement. That is why we need to reach out for help and support. ♥

[@leafox-england3414]

Hello sweet friend,so good to se you back on YT…missed you! I do understand what you’re saying totally and it hurts but we can’t dwell on the past or we can’t move forward with our lives.My friend you look awesome and sounds like these are words you needed to say and we needed to hear! I totally understand the pain and grief…I lost my first husband (9) years ago.Been a lot going on in my life lately and still haven’t started my YT channel yet.

[@connienorleen]

Hi Lea, It's good to hear from you here too. And thanks, I'm enjoying being back on YT. Lots of thoughts running through my mind! Still want to be more technical on my YT stuff but I'm glad to be back. You will love it when you get started. Just jump in and don't look for perfection! It's more fun to just jump in! LOL ♥

[@shelaghcozens4725]

If they are looking down on us. They would be amazed to know how much we loved and missed them,I was clearing stuff away and found the the last 2 ,birthday card and Xmas card. The beautiful words he had written to me ,I'm so grateful to have them, I will put them up every year xS

[@connienorleen]

That is a good thought. Yes I’m sure they would. 💕

[@rubymadrid6942]

Hi Connie, just found your video I lost my husband this year 2022 of March. And I find comfort listening too you. I GO UP AND DOWN MOSTLY CRYING LOTS. WAVES MANY!! GOD BLESS YOU.

[@connienorleen]

Hi Ruby, thanks so much watching and sharing. I’m sorry for your loss. 💕🥰💕. If you have not don’t so yet you might go back to my first and second videos when I became a widow. Titled part one and Part two. And then ho forward from there.

[@connienorleen]

My reply part two. Sorry. That was go forward. Sorry for the typo. I do have recommendations in my videos too. I hope you will subscribe and click the bell to be notified. 💕

[@sharonstewart8000]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it. I will begin speaking with someone bout death in schools home different ages, old or young. Thank you. We all hurt at different times in life.

[@connienorleen]

Wow. That sounds like an awesome idea. Good luck.

[@daisy7141]

I am "Blessed" by God! After my husband died, I mourned for two years and didn't know how to get out of it. Then I thought of all the bad things he did to me. I coulda hada V8! I feel silly for staying with him for 41 years. That is real life.

[@connienorleen]

Wow. Sounds like it was a big aha moment!

[@shotpusher]

I wish my husband & I would have been kinder to each other but I would give anything in this world to have him back! Faults and all.😢😭

[@daisy7141]

​@@shotpusher My unconditional love went too far. I accepted things I should not have. He latched on to a widow for 10 years until he died, saying we need to take care of widows. I fell for it. He used the Bible as his excuse. What happened to loyalty to your own wife? He hardly ever worked in those 41 years. I was the bread winner. He pushed me around and called me names. I divorced him for that. We were married twice with a couple years between of not being married. I could go on and on, but I won't. I feel freee now. I have a dog with no desire to take care of a man again. Every situation is different.

[@lindavernon8051]

“I coulda had a V8!” Hahaha! Oh how refreshing and honest you are!

[@kdyooper28]

Understand

[@arlenewitt248]

That actually can happen in a lot of situations. For instance when I had my first child, I lost 2 friends…one who miscarried a child at the same time and one who had an abortion at the same time. I also lost two other friends when I came down with cancer that had metastasized. I only had about a 10% chance of survival. (This was 30 years ago.) These two friends had just gone through the loss of very close family members from cancer at around the same time. My experience is that those persons, who care about you and who can deal with the suffering will be there for you, but those who cannot deal with the pain will back off. I don’t see this is as a vicious or uncaring act on their part. I see it more as an act of self protection that is necessary for them to take. Looking at it in this way makes forgiveness much easier, although no less painful on your part. Important thing to remember, as you said earlier, is that everyone reacts differently to life’s stressors. I am so sorry for your loss. I can think of nothing more horrible than the loss of a spouse or child. I am glad you did have someone in the form of your next-door neighbor to be there for you and help you through your journey of healing.

[@connienorleen]

Hi Arlene, Yes I agree with you. I am sorry for your experiences. And yes my friend and I are still friends.

[@reginarenoude1098]

Yes, this also happened to me.

[@connienorleen]

I mentioned so many things in this video, which happened to you?💕

[@reginarenoude1098]

The friends I had did so much for throughout the years were totally absent from my life when I went thru my illness and shortly after my husband's death. They still are. I even attended a church , and played piano at the church, made meals for their dinners on Wednesdays and then the you know what happened and the church had limited services. I never heard from anyone. At all. But I did move on, and I am happy with my life. I keep busy .

[@connienorleen]

@@reginarenoude1098 I am so happy that happened to you. I know it is difficult to understand. And I applaud you for moving forward. Can you share some things that you have done to move forward and be in control of your life?

[@janeashton2027]

Hi, my name is Jane, and I lost my husband in June 2021, alot of my husband's friend said they were going to be there for me and also my husband family too, but no, they don't even call me, so l have some really good friends that stick close to me, and my kids stay in touch with me, and also my grandsons 4, hugsssss

[@connienorleen]

Hi Jane, thanks for sharing 💕

[@shotpusher]

I found that book at the used book store after my Joey died on 5/17/22. Isn’t that crazy? The same book.

[@connienorleen]

Wow. That is crazy. I hope it was helpful to you.

[@shotpusher]

@@connienorleen Some of it was. Some of it didn’t apply to my situation and the dating, not so keen on that.

[@cheryljune1603]

I’m so numb

[@trulee663]

I wish I could a copy of that poem you read, how could I find it?

[@connienorleen]

I'm sorry I don't remember where I got the poem. Thanks so much for watching.

[@cheryljune1603]

Your name did not come up on facebook

[@connienorleen]

I’ll look for yours.

[@connienorleen]

Is it Charyl June black? And are you sure you typed it right? Connie Norleen.