Winter Clearout 2013 | Ashens

[@Lshannon90]

The person with the presents on the Spek box is Zwarte Piet (Black Peter). He is SinterKlaas's (Saint Nicholas a.k.a Santa) assistant. It's a Dutch Christmas tradition. So is the candy letter thing, which I never understood.

[@tibby8bit585]

+Lshannon90 it has its history in germany where they would make little bread runes for good luck for new borns, the candy letters are more traditionally very yummy chocolate (the chocolate they use for them is really nice) and given to the kids and are presented in order of age youngest first, the dutch sinterklaas is so much more fun than christmas lol

[@rs0wner301]

+Lshannon90 I think its funny saying Zwarte Piet because it's pronounced the same way as '[his] black dick' (Svarte Pitt), at least in this part of skåne :)

[@Che8t]

Yeah, I was going to say it looked like Dutch Santa and black Pete.

[@Oldskool4Life]

It has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas or is 5 December xmas nowadays?

[@Lshannon90]

Stephan ! True, technically it's St. Nicholas Day. My Dutch friends explained it to me by saying that St. Nicholas Day is like the "Dutch version" of Christmas. In my country they celebrate both holidays, St. Nicholas Day and Dec. 25 as Christmas. My friends seem to mix the two holidays together a little, but perhaps they only do that in my country.

[@gtkruntime5520]

his sudden realization of the racist marshmallow is the best thing i’ll see today

[@flowerfloc]

as a Dutch guy, yeah the whole black Pete thing is racist af and horrible that people still wanna keep it.

[@danstormer]

Even after 7 years Zorro's tiny hat still makes me laugh.

[@AlexanderAndreassen123]

The fact that there exists a factory dedicated to making toilet mats kind of boggles the mind.

[@andymadden8183]

I think you mean Mat-Toilets.

[@samholdsworth3957]

It's China....

[@RattPoison80]

"Factory"

[@bentramer682]

And a factory that makes blackface candies

[@radiocaster2k]

Its like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory except extremely dissapointing you also probably don't want to consume anything chocolate-colored there

[@TheHyddenMan]

Asshens... This video is gonna be in my head for the rest of my life...

[@Playcasters]

Don't ever change, you beautiful man.

[@BrookeK92]

I find Ashen's videos rather hard to watch to be honest, for some reason whenever I watch one I have trouble breathing, my eyes tear up, and I have uncontrollable fits that cause me to make a sound such as Hahaha. Very strange.

[@Olflix]

Good job, you laughed!

[@samholdsworth420]

I think you're sick you should probably go see a doctor 💊

Oh hey, I sent that spek letter. Didn't think you'd still get around to it considering the food special last week didn't have it. I do remember having attached a note explaining that all of the food articles were related to the Dutch/Belgian (possibly also French?) substitute, or even duplicate, of Christmas. Might wanna look that up yourself, I can't possibly do a proper explanation, especially seeing as the pictures on the box seemed to get quite confusing.

niek237 Weet ik, ik was alleen opzettelijk vaag omdat ik er niet van uit ga dat mensen die het niet kennen dat onmiddelijk begrijpen.

[@DeviliciousNails]

Hebben ze chocoladeletters en spekletters in België? o.o Ik ben een Belg en ik heb ze hier nog nooit in de winkel gezien.

DeviliciousNails De chocoladeletters vind je hier overal, de spekletter heb ik tot nu toe alleen maar bij de Jan Linders te koop gezien (die winkelketen bestaat geloof ik alleen maar in het zuiden van Nederland).

[@DeviliciousNails]

Oh, oké. Moet ik maar harder gaan zoeken want ik heb echt iets met chocoladeletters. ;s

[@TheLaptopLagger]

sinterklaas is geen nederlandse vervanging van kerst de kerstman is juist gebaseerd op sinterklaas (zou zeggen als je me niet geloofd gebruik dan wikipedia)

[@CreepyHandedMan]

I laughed way too hard at this. I wish you put horzan's hairdryer facing the other way though. Its hair was just perfect for this

[@Camisimluva]

Sad onion has become my favourite thing, ever

[@TheLastRaven6]

Ryden Urossie Naht to Three. Got it.

[@crab-time1]

It's become one of my favorite ways of confusing the fuck outta my friends.

[@vintagestuffguy1998]

The Mat Toilet instructions just had me crying with laughter. I love poor Chinese - English translations!

[@Gymboify]

Ashens is like a inanimate object psychic... He gives words to their silent screams.

[@blobbem]

Praise be Ashens. Our savior from eternal boredom.

[@SuperLuigisWorld]

the doll looked like some kind of rejected attack on titan character o_o

[@theflyingninja1]

The black guy with Saint Nick on the Spek Letter packaging is Zwarte Piet, Santa's sidekick in the Netherlands.

[@nanochase]

*OYS TOY* An Excellent Abomination

[@AlpakaWhacker]

i honestly thought at first that person on the "Spek Letter" was meant to be Pingu wearing a sombrero...

[@Envirotech]

did have a bit of a penguin going on... Hehe I loved the Keith Moon drum solo at the end!!! Bwahaha

[@BLY99]

No he's actually a slave owned by that white bishop called Black Pete, and he's forced to break into houses through the chimney to give good kids toys and to kidnap bad children.

[@Envirotech]

boloyung9 Ha! :D

[@SebbySenpai]

Stuart, I just realized I've been watching you for 8 years. Ever since you uploaded your first video on Putfile and got big on the B3TA newsletter. Good lord, my relationship with you lasted 4x longer than my last marriage. X_x

[@BWOdEaDm4u5z]

you should make your own decision seb, but I want the why, why did you stop

[@630ben630]

***** SHUT UP

[@TheSethGrey]

I agree, I think you should upload again, or let us know why you stopped, though obviously it's well within your rights to vanish into the night, keeping those lovely hands hidde--Wait you were married?

[@still_guns]

Looks like Spore was used for 'Freaky Creatures'

[@tncorgi92]

6:22 I thought he said "protect the wall" which brought to mind several public toilets I've unfortunately had to use.

[@krkNdvd]

Ah that classic "Tom-tom, two snares and splash-crash cymbal", all us drummers dream of a set-up like that!

[@TechyBen]

I see you kept a hammer to hand just in case it was needed in an emergency drum kit/Bratz doll rip off destruction.

[@qwaH]

10:28 "here you go kids, play with Cthulhu" great stuff

[@InKY09]

I bought that drumset (in a redesigned box) for my grandmother last year because she'd taught my brother and me how to play the recorder and keyboard when we were kids. She got a kick out of it, and we learned how to read drum sheet music and play basic drum patterns.

[@abirdbrain9109]

well i went to the freaky creatures website and it scared me as i wasnt expecting a weird monotone lady telling me "important security message"

[@hhog9303]

"A Chocolate Spek-letter" Actually, Spek is the Dutch word for Marshmallow (or Bacon, as a homonym). The chocolate variety is just plainly a Chocolate-letter.

[@technicolorpie2783]

I was so proud of myself that, thanks to Cracked articles, I knew the guy with Santa was 'Zwarte Piet' or 'Black Peter'. A rather controversial holiday helper from Dutch folklore.

[@bloodrunsclear]

Some interesting things about Abandon Interactive. They're responsible for several expansion packs for Dark Age of Camelot. Apparently they still exist, but nowadays exclusively make mobile games.

[@shrinjaymukherjee7297]

A FITTING PUNISHMENT!!!!

[@punch3322]

***** 'An excellent punishment'

[@shrinjaymukherjee7297]

Can't say the same for the game though.

[@punch3322]

***** Don't know,haven't played the games.

[@WorldNews92]

I got one of these drums for Christmas once. My uncle and his girlfriend were doing the Christmas dinner that year, and thought it a good idea that instead of getting everyone expensive presents, everyone would buy each other silly or jokey gifts from Poundland. My uncle and his girlfriend both have £75,000 a year salaries each.

[@EnglishTophat]

The website at the end says Asshens not Ashens, lol.

[@Shadowfied]

How about you try it?

[@All4Tanuki]

I thought 3:25 looked like a penguin in a tam o shanter

[@michalkolesa3718]

it's Zorro from the BDSM universe Omega 4.. god. do you know nothing about zorro??

[@bluestraveler2342]

the chain thing on zorro is based off a zorro figure in the 1990s called chain mail zorro

[@owenkonsmo1454]

I literally cried with laughter when you read the Mat-Toilet installation instructions.

[@MrClassicDoctorWho]

12:25 so disappointed you didn’t point the blow dryer towards himself. With that hair mould it would have been great 😆

[@spazzticafantazztica5555]

Nothing like Ashens and his tat to cheer me up!

[@DrWho-vc2go]

Ah! Ashen you bastard....my kid wants the blasted drum set!!!!

[@HammerOn9]

The Santa on the Candy is Sinterklaas. He is a Saint Nicolas figure from The Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, and Northern France. He also owns black elves called Black Pete.

[@McShaggswell]

Svarte Pete

[@MrCool-de4ke]

+Pepsimintsteak I was going to say that

[@cw6504]

zwarte piet in Dutch

[@TheMrKeksLp]

Thats fucked up

[@TheMrKeksLp]

seraphiccandy21 Oh. Admitedly "owning black elves" is fucked up though.

[@LuckyLegionN7]

If you turn the hairdryer round in the horses hand it looks like it's blowing it's own hair back lmao

[@Lee-cn7yp]

This is by far one of my favourite Ashens videos or in general ever, was Ashens drunk or really pissed off because his sarcasm has me in stitches every time i watch this! He always cheers me up.

[@Maxjk0]

4:15 DAMIT ASHENS I WAS DRINKING AND I NEARLY SNOTTED IT ALL OVER THE SCREEN!

[@MegaAniLinkFan]

please tell me someone made a remix out of his drum solo.

[@KenshinMizuhara]

Not sure if the hideous massive head doll with the epic music was a normal funny gag, or an Attack on Titan reference...

[@Chiri21]

I want to go back, please

[@22Metropolis22]

My university housemates got me a desktop drum set for my birthday. It was so hard to be grateful and have a smile on my face while they watched me play.

[@xRainbowFroggy]

+22Metropolis22 Oh god I cringed just reading that

[@yoshiytp9783]

+Molly Winchester i cringed too

[@Paul136]

i wish ashens would have turned the megaphone/hair dryer towards the horses face since it's luxurious mane appeared to be blowing in the wind

[@bobbydylanio]

The toilet seat is Ashens finest moment, literally hilarious.

[@oneupgamer5306]

As far as I'm aware that bishop looking Santa Claus character is Saint Nicholas, a holiday figure primarily from the dutch if I remember right. He, much like Santa, gives gifts to good girls and boys (although it's not all over the world I forget the region he visits) The black character with toys on the back of the box is a Black Pete, one of Saint Nicholas's workers who helps deliver the gifts.

[@Bernd-Lauert]

maybe I'm wrong but as a child my parents told me that the black dude doesn't help nikolaus to deliver the gifts, but punish the bad boys and girls by hitting them with a rod or putting them in the sack he carry (there are no presents inside). Btw his celebration is (at least in Germany) on the 6 dezember.

[@oneupgamer5306]

***** . .. These could also be true I didn't grow up with these legends I'm just saying what I've heard. Oh and K17L3R the story your thinking of is the German born story of Saint Nikolaus and Krampus Demon. At least that's how it sounds. Krampus does exactly what you describe.

[@Bernd-Lauert]

Oneupgamer well that would be nice since Krampus Demon sounds way more cool than knecht ruprecht...

[@lordcalcium4780]

@@Bernd-Lauert pretty sure you or them got Black Pete mixed up with Krampus

[@zedeighty]

"Chean water" Oh God, laughing so much it hurts.

[@toontownaddict1029]

When he read the instructions for the mat-toilet, I nearly died of laughter. "Remove the mat-toilet from the mat-toilet" XD

[@screenwatcher949]

Chean water, anyone?

[@airmaildolphin7013]

3:16 Mister Popo? "First Rule Popo's Christmas is not talking about Popo's Christmas!"

[@zombiehalo9588]

hahahaha

[@Scubadog_]

All I can think of is that horse thing drying someones hair with something leaf-blower-like as an epic war scene unwinds around him and Lost Horizon - Highlander plays in the background.

[@KanesTheName]

"As it's a new year, there's going to be a lot of changes to this channel" Nooo, I hate change! "Not really, it's going to be the same old cheap shit as ever" Hooray!!

[@B3tanTyronne]

The Spek Letter is from 'Sinterklaas', the Saint who comes to Holland from Spain upon his steamship at the end of November and his birthday is celebrated on December the 5th. His helpers are called `Zwarte Piet` or `Black Pete` and bring all the presents down the chimney. (I know this as my Girlfriend is Dutch and we have celebrated this since we got together)

[@liampiper9357]

1:45 Looks like James Sunderland from Silent Hill 2 wearing a mask

[@TheZaz969]

I nearly had a heart attack at 4:16, while looking down at my homework.

[@lunarballoonistxo]

+TheZaz969 I also do my homework while watching Ashens haha I'm glad I'm not the only one! XD

[@cyanidic3673]

+Des Northwood me too that and random top 10s

[@RaveRaptor7]

Oh jeeze, I remember playing the beta of Freeky Creatuers. They were really hopeful of it launching.

[@beyblademaster100]

yah iwas in the beta as well so fun

[@idou]

Oh wow, I actually imagined the living room to be behind that sofa, with the kitchen in the right corner lol, how wrong I was

[@PrincessTsunade12]

I jumped like a frightened cat when he pulled out that bratz doll thing and the music started playing, good god.

[@M.A10]

7 months left till you find Horzan again,

[@Ghost_Of_SAS]

Please somebody tell me what the song at 4:17 is!! D:

[@MysteriumArcanum]

I was literally about to ask the same thing. It's friggin epic whatever it is though

[@EddieHawkinsII]

Since you were curious Ashens, here's how the starter pack works, from the Freaky Creatures Wikipedia page: "The customer would buy a starter pack with two collectible creatures and a reusable one gigabyte USB flash drive. The USB flash drive contains a code to unlock the game. In the game the player will then be able to play as the creatures they bought."

[@ndm13]

You completely missed the point of the desktop drum set: the ability to add a rimshot to any joke at a moment's notice.

[@NielsBlok567]

But there's no snare drum. You can't rimshot without a snare.

[@BradenBest]

That engrish at 8:00 killed me

[@OdaSwifteye]

In a couple years he'll rediscover Horzan. Can't wait.

[@badnewsbruner]

Oh my god! Its a Bratz Bunny tap dancer!! JESUS CHRIST! THROW IT IN A FURNACE!

[@badnewsbruner]

Then travel millions of years into the future and find the remains in an open field. Reconstruct the remains into something that resembles Justin Bieber and repeat this entire process again.

[@dumptuckk]

I'm glad I'm not Ashens' local garbage collector...

[@mrJalisco70]

I love your account picture. the reaper from kid icarus.

[@dumptuckk]

mrJalisco70 And I love yours, fine sir.

[@ypoora1]

Glad you took that thing from us. -The Netherlands

[@KirbyMario12345_939]

' "Fun at home or in the office" - if you wanna get fucking fired!' Oh, Ashens. your comedy never fails to please and amuse us!

[@sheabrown]

freaky creatures definitely sounds like a hentai site

[@ThierryRocksTV]

+CQG Shea Not all Hentai has tentacles and monsters you know.

[@sheabrown]

Yes, but creatures getting freaky is typically classified as that. Or furry porn depending on who you ask.

[@ThierryRocksTV]

CQG Shea More like furry porn then.

[@ThierryRocksTV]

Epic Dave What the fuck did I do?

[@casualcommunist9057]

CQG Shea

[@jenner6710]

The way you read those insane translations 😂

[@saborwolf]

Make the blow dryer point at the horse's face so it can be a Fabio-Horse blow-drying his hair. I think that's the only proper way to enjoy that... thing

[@TwistedLogikk619]

3:20 Mr Popo!

[@TRASHoftheTITANS]

3:15 Duuh Ashens, it's CLEARLY Pingu being crushed by a steam roller xD

[@patrickmccutcheon8860]

Those drums are a lot better sounding than I expected honestly.

[@Dumbledoresarmy13]

Ass hens? Sounds like a terrible disease that causes your flatulence to sound like chicken noises.

[@LeStupidBlonde]

www.asshens.com

[@Vaerlayn]

The worst part is, I've watched the video multiple times, and I just now noticed that.

[@spacetrenton]

***** don't we all?

[@Rathial]

I want to watch this so bad but video won't load T_T

[@midlifecrisi]

Ashens: EVERYTHING IS A CHEMICAL.

[@andymadden8183]

Google+ is gone now...

[@KoolKman]

The ending reminded me of the scene in Harold Pinter's "The Birthday Party" where Stan plays the drum he was given by meg for his birthday, building up to an ugly crescendo with frustration!

[@brianartillery]

"Wilkins! Have you contacted the hostage negotiator? Time's running out for them in there!" (FRANTIC, AND DEAFENING PROG ROCK DRUM SOLO) "WILKINS!!!" "It's no good, Sir - since he was given that 'office drum kit', he thinks he's Bill Bruford, from the band Yes." "WILKINS! YOU'RE FIRED!" (The drumming continues, and ends with a rather sarcastic paradiddle.)

[@HunterRodrigez]

seeing just that little bit more of his wall gives me the impression that his place must look pretty depressing...

[@TheGreatMoonFrog]

***** I was thinking the same thing. Maybe this is just the room he keeps all his useless youtube shit in although I kind of get the feeling he hoards a lot of stuff.

[@Kevin-jb2pv]

***** it looks like the same drab wallpaper that I see in a lot of British apartments on youtube and TV. just cheap wallpaper that looks like it's either intentionally been made a color that's hard-to-stain or has just been stained by decades of smoking next to it.

[@HunterRodrigez]

Kevin Hall yeah... my point still stands...

[@chuffmunky]

***** half of Britain hasn't even been upgraded to colour yet.

[@alnoso]

***** OR MAYBE THAT'S THE CARPET!

[@-ZodiacPrince-]

Ashens, you might wanna look up the story of Sinterclaus. It explains the giant S food thing (I forgot what it's called)

[@RayneSaltair]

Saint Nick = Christmas in Holland = where the whole Santa Clause thing started from = he used to put prezzies in clogs.

[@SimonCallahan]

In addition, the black dude is "Zwair Piete" (I think I spelled that right), or "Black Peter". And, yes, he is incredibly racist.

[@ShadowFoxSoothsayer]

SimonCallahan Actually wasn't the reason originally that his face looked black because of soot in the chimneys or something like that

[@StevenReviews]

i like how he called it 2013 when it is CLEARLY 2014

[@morgan4224]

Thanks Ashens I really needed Horzan to complete my collection now my freaky creature army will be unstoppable

[@Samaras97]

Damn, i finally thought i was going to see Ashens bathroom...

[@shabbbsy]

Bloody Freaky Creatures! Trying to get young boys into My Little Pony! Eh, what are they thinking? Crazy!

[@SoanosBarcoded]

Hey, don't be a hater, Horzan is cute! ;)

[@darkokavinsky6812]

the irony is thick here. I love it

[@TheSweetestCurse]

ew. ew to all of you.

[@Ainastrasza]

Darko Kavinsky That's the point

[@EvilDoresh]

Brozan for life!

[@TheEnderman67]

The Freaky Creatures website is now an online Pharmacy.

[@itssuperjordan10]

Thanks for these regular uploads Ashens! Takes my mind off how pointless life, I need this :P

[@WhatIfLeoIsAPanda]

When he started reading the mat toilet instructions I was actually in hysterics.

[@CGNBacon]

On Ashens' Website: You can send me stuff! Ashens PO Box 3493 Norwich NR7 7PX U.K. Items cannot be returned, so don't send me your cat or anything.

[@RemixSpace]

What do the people that work in pound land thing when you walk up with all this shit

[@DeeManDrawsIsTheBest]

jayrush01 You're not really oozing knowledge and maturity here either...

[@RemixSpace]

MrSandwichBiznich ikr i got one word wrong and this guy cannot even spell mother right

[@DeeManDrawsIsTheBest]

yolo swagginz Nah, I think he's just speaking Gangstanese, it's basically English but almost nothing is spelled correctly and there are a lot more curse words used...

[@ServiusTheBear]

jayrush01 Why dont you just grow up yourself. Because with your name calling and pathetic gangster talk does not make you look cool or smart either!

[@cleanycloth]

yolo swagginz He knows how to spell swear words perfectly. I assume the language he grew up with was "Swearese" and then tried to learn English...

[@xS3XUALPANDAx]

sick drum solo

[@PaulBeard1990]

Whoever designed the Bog warmer for sure loved the words Matt toilet

[@aerialwhileblood5434]

Thanks for making me smile every day ☺ *****

[@TatsTopVideos]

Kenshin Mizuhara I agree XD

[@DangOlZane]

oh, hi tats, fancy seeing you here

[@THESHARINGANWARRIOR]

UNEXPECTED!

[@tavish2549]

Tats on a video about tat.... coincidence ?

[@mark8200]

i like your videos also :)

[@IIDeCkArDII1]

HaHaHaHaHaHa :D :D love it when the 'Hammer of Doom' comes into play, so funny :D :D ...watched the 'dancing' JaJaBinks video last night, it was so fkn funny! Keep makin' me laugh, Stuart :D

[@YuTheWorld]

cool figure!! I like the hero!

[@RevengeofGothzilla]

That bit at the end, it was just like seeing the Who live back in 1979, well the part where the destroyed their instruments at least.

[@clintkel1]

not laughed so munch in ages 12.32,, bloody brilliant