WITHDRAWAL from toxic relationships is real.

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Candace van Dell

Candace van Dell

Күн бұрын

#highlysensitivepeople #empaths #relationships
WITHDRAWL from toxic relationships is real.
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Пікірлер: 112
@SomeRetroGuy
@SomeRetroGuy 2 жыл бұрын
It's awful. This withdrawal feeling. I go from okay to absolutely not okay, full of anxiety, depression, physically hurting and feeling sick. It's very difficult to not speak to her. Even my therapist said it's an addiction in recovering from. It's been less than a week and I want it to end already. I'm trying to stay active, work, still go to the gym, watch videos, talk to friends and family, meditation, practice breathing correctly. Pretty much anything to ride out these sudden massive waves of hurt.
@maceyr.6583
@maceyr.6583 Жыл бұрын
Omygosh same! How are you now? For me it's only been 3 days. :"(
@marcellusrobinson1465
@marcellusrobinson1465 Жыл бұрын
I truly know just how you feel. Stay strong brotha don’t let this addiction Ruin your life. It did mine :(
@JustAshleyDanielle
@JustAshleyDanielle Жыл бұрын
I made it through day 1. Understanding that this hurt isn’t from love but rather withdrawals like a drug helps. There’s no way I love the way this boy treated me.
@DiSanto84
@DiSanto84 Жыл бұрын
how are you oday? Im living the same right now
@carlhouseofoliver345
@carlhouseofoliver345 3 ай бұрын
Yeah it's day 1 for me today Oct 2024. I know how much the pain destroyed me last wk when I knew I had to make the decision to leave. I just pray I'm stronger already to try and handle the hell withdrawals that are coming my way!!
@Monique3577777
@Monique3577777 3 жыл бұрын
It definitely feels like a drug, I use to wonder why I kept going back to the toxic relationship and realized I wanted to feel certain things from that person and wanted him to change. This is good advice thank you!
@marcellusrobinson1465
@marcellusrobinson1465 Жыл бұрын
I feel the same way. I would constantly go back to that person because i was addicted to the validation I received from them. It was so frustrating because I knew I shouldn’t have been with them and yet I couldn’t seem to stay away smh
@_Nicole589
@_Nicole589 3 жыл бұрын
Such perfect timing. Very important for me to understand it isn't love, it's withdrawl - this makes a huge difference! I don't hear that often enough when people talk about healing from narc abuse. I'm finally seeing it truly is addiction and requires the same approach of sorts as substance addiction. Your suggestions were helpful too. Going to rewatch this as many times as it takes. Thank you!!
@ungraded_treasures4057
@ungraded_treasures4057 3 жыл бұрын
Same
@marcellusrobinson1465
@marcellusrobinson1465 Жыл бұрын
This almost brought a tear to my eye because finally not only have I found a video that explains how I feel and what I went through But I’ve found others who can truly relate. Thank you so much
@rickaster
@rickaster 3 жыл бұрын
I went through a period of not sleeping well but it wasn’t because pulling myself out of the situation was a mistake.
@AnAussieinNorway
@AnAussieinNorway Жыл бұрын
Doesn’t sound like it
@marcellusrobinson1465
@marcellusrobinson1465 Жыл бұрын
That’s good because it’s easy to think it was a mistake because of that . I used to
@gailrobey4316
@gailrobey4316 11 ай бұрын
I just found your channel. Love this video. I have an old, old relationship that I'm still obsessing on. I think there may still be withdrawal I need to deal with. Self love and trauma work is the solution I think. Thank you ❤
@CandacevanDell
@CandacevanDell 11 ай бұрын
Boom! Relief is possible ❤️
@lightimagay00
@lightimagay00 2 жыл бұрын
thank you so much. this has calmed me down during a withdrawal crisis. it really does make u feel like crazy, the fact it involves physical pain even is absurd. i was hyperventilating, feeling my stomach empty and my knees collapsing, wondering if this was a sign of "true love". I feel calmer now knowing that this step is necessary for me to fully heal
@marcellusrobinson1465
@marcellusrobinson1465 Жыл бұрын
That’s the same thing I would think. If it feels this bad it must be love smh
@fringbabyross4718
@fringbabyross4718 2 жыл бұрын
Man I am so glad I found this video today. I was in love with a fearful avoidant woman push pull relationship. It’s nearly been two months since we’ve spoke. She was a literal drug to me and now I’m grieving. The withdrawal from her is terrible and an anxious attachment and abandonment issue makes it worse. This shit is very real !
@ShaunofdaL4D
@ShaunofdaL4D Жыл бұрын
Currently on week one of the exact same scenario...
@ShadaeBalancesKnightAstro
@ShadaeBalancesKnightAstro 10 ай бұрын
@@JenSummaYou’re cruel for this!!!
@Nina_Kowsari
@Nina_Kowsari Жыл бұрын
Sending to a friend. It really does get worse the more you go back whether its partnership, friendship.. When you recognize things have gotten toxic or even suspect it has, take a break and re-evaluate.
@Stellarchild
@Stellarchild 9 ай бұрын
Wow. Watching this video ans then reading the comment section is so helpfull. I was feeling crazy for having all these emotions and also for gaving thought he was THE ONE. I feel weirdly validated thanks everyone. Im on week one. Feel like absolute crap. Very triggering. High anxiety, low motivation, nausea, thinking about him.
@amytan2019
@amytan2019 3 жыл бұрын
You literally saved me just now...I am going through this just as I see this!!!
@codiejade5273
@codiejade5273 3 жыл бұрын
Same here. . Confusing but still thanking God
@amytan2019
@amytan2019 3 жыл бұрын
@@codiejade5273 Just knowing that there's someone else as well,makes me feel better cause now I can tell myself, for sure I am not the only one going through this. Thus the pinch of embarrassment that comes with feeling like this has subsided. Thanks for sharing your experience. 💙
@adamfuz
@adamfuz 3 жыл бұрын
Me too, I'm going through exactly the same. Sending you both much love at this difficult time but we'll get there.🙏❤️💫💪
@nafeesa14
@nafeesa14 3 жыл бұрын
Mee tooo and just got caught back in the cycle though caught it faster doesn't help...have to redetox
@codiejade5273
@codiejade5273 3 жыл бұрын
Definitely not alone. Lets keep feeling and healing fam
@erikab1501
@erikab1501 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you very much for this video, Cadace! How about if the person is your own mother. OMG I have been in a gerbil weel with this woman. Would be nice if I don't ever have to deal with her, but it is my mother. I am going no contact and I go in visit overseas for 6 weeks and comeback like a loony person and my husband has to pick up the pieces. Takes me forever to recuperate. I cannot do this again, she is so F sick and selfish when it comes to me, but to people that are not the closest, she laughs, smiles and treats them nicely. I was shocked few months ago when I visited that she was even having a great time and with me she always complains about pretty much everything, never have any money and feels tired. I do not understand this woman at all, and looking back NO WONDER WHY I LEFT HOME, nothing has change.
@ericajosephine1714
@ericajosephine1714 3 жыл бұрын
nodding the whole way through, AMEN, i've been through this and i'm really THRIVING at the moment. My life has got sooooo much better since I finally quit my narcisstic relationship. Took me over a year to leave. But I did it.
@carlhouseofoliver345
@carlhouseofoliver345 3 ай бұрын
Yeah its worse than quitting alcohol addiction!! I was blessed w a download after Kinesiology session that i was addicted to the Dopamine hit i would chase and get from my toxic partner. I too was the toxic partner in so many ways!!! I ignored all the red flags because i needed to feel connected and when i wasnt connected i was in withdrawal and it is the most painful experience ive ever experienced!!! I only just walked away from my 5yr relationship yesterday and i knew before i ended it, it was about to become a hell ride. I just pray im a strong enough man to get through this 🙏
@LesleySASMR
@LesleySASMR Жыл бұрын
I wonder if that’s what I’m experiencing? I left my toxic partner of 5 years over a year ago. I was feeling amazing because I was focusing on myself. But anytime I tried dating, I started feeling this insane fear, depression, confusion, panic. I was dating this guy who tried to help me through it for a few months but I pushed him away because I didn’t know what was happening to me. I felt crazy! But I really am experiencing the not-getting-out-of-bed type of depression. Does it happen after such a long time? I think maybe because I didn’t give myself permission to process the breakup and now I finally have.
@evonne315
@evonne315 3 жыл бұрын
Its been about a year for me of recovering so far. Finally feeling normalish. Its best to aknowledge the relationship is harmful and the best thing you can do is break it off, learn from it, and become a better person yourself. Let the rest go.
@marcellusrobinson1465
@marcellusrobinson1465 Жыл бұрын
I kept trying to end it. I just couldn’t get away in time. Smh
@GTNSHORTS
@GTNSHORTS Жыл бұрын
Finally someone gets it!!! THANK YOU ☺️
@notdefining
@notdefining 3 жыл бұрын
Wow I literally cannot tell you how much this has helped me. Thank you so so much you are amazing.
@psolver8147
@psolver8147 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks I needed this. Got people trying to creep in my life I’ve got no interest chilling with.
@1joannemarie
@1joannemarie 3 жыл бұрын
I went through this withdrawal around 8 months ago when I realized I was in a codependent narc. abusive relationship with a family member. It was very painful to break things off- body, mind, and soul! I did a lot of inner work in the months following, and am now in a better place. We did rekindle the connection, but I am at this point more guarded with what I share, and keep stronger boundaries. Overall it helped my spiritual growth.
@Julesyoutoo
@Julesyoutoo 4 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this, Candace. Last Sunday, I finally walked away from a 5-year narcissistic relationship. Just like you say, I was ok for a day or two, and now (day five) I feel worse than death. Because it is a death - a death of being addicted to a self-centred person who only ever gave me crumbs of love and care. Your words comfort me during this horrid period of cold turkey.
@theblackphoenix447
@theblackphoenix447 Жыл бұрын
I stumbled upon this video today & WOW. I was married to a toxic person for 16 years together for 20 with 3 kids. I finally filed for divorce. I’ve been trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. This explains it!
@bradleytik8885
@bradleytik8885 6 ай бұрын
This video needs to be saved through all of man kind. Wow. Thank you
@definitelymaybe_cath
@definitelymaybe_cath 3 жыл бұрын
I can totally relate to the "Opinion Detox" T_T Sometimes I just want to shut down all the noises outside me so I can hear my own opinion without the biases of others.
@marcellusrobinson1465
@marcellusrobinson1465 Жыл бұрын
Exactly when I talked to certain family about this. They would judge me and look at me like I’m a selfish person for constantly leaving and coming back to my ex. I wasn’t a bad person. Just a addict
@prairie_rose
@prairie_rose 3 жыл бұрын
Exactly what I need to see today Candace! I had a lapse and went back to a trauma bond relationship. I am in withdrawal again because he left again so thank you! Have to learn to fill the void on my own.
@helloeveryone9643
@helloeveryone9643 3 жыл бұрын
your videos make me feel that I shouldnt need anyone to a point where now i cannot talk or connect with anyone about anything cause its all mundane stuff and I can only connect on deep level
@chloelovett6722
@chloelovett6722 3 жыл бұрын
Wow all of this was just what I needed to hear. Never heard it explained this way. Thank you ❤️
@mariaziarnik6909
@mariaziarnik6909 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this powerful message that I needed to hear this to validate the toxic relationship I tore away from 4 years ago. It was a few toxic family members that were overly critical and judgmental.
@TheWallaceReboot
@TheWallaceReboot 3 жыл бұрын
Watched twice, took notes and shared. In flow tonight and grateful to be guided to this...exactly what I needed to hear!
@melgreen5927
@melgreen5927 3 жыл бұрын
Spot on. I did all.these things. I love listening to you Candace. I find my peace
@gloriareyna2248
@gloriareyna2248 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for your work. I am currently going through withdrawals and it sucks. I've been reading about addiction and trauma and what you say is true. Dr. Gabor Mate is exceptional in talking about trauma and yet I feel that having a channel like yours is beneficial because I didn't know I could be addicted to my partner and the toxicity of a relationship. Thank you again. 🙏
@nafeesa14
@nafeesa14 3 жыл бұрын
Wow how timely holy moly. This is soooo helpful and thank you 😊 🙏 I get so mad at myself
@whatjonisees
@whatjonisees Жыл бұрын
Thank you Candace, new subscriber. Appreciate you keepin’ it real and acknowledging that we need to release the trauma. 🙌🏻✨💖
@Eva.Chrissa
@Eva.Chrissa Жыл бұрын
My biological family is worse toxic than my ex with whom I’ve been involved for about 8y (him coming and leaving) and I leave in a country with little to no emotional support cause I’m not the type of person to connect with anyone. So the process of leaving for me and no contact it’s almost comparable with hell
@baxiaaa
@baxiaaa Жыл бұрын
Omg yes, that’s so true. I’m in this right now. Thank you!
@justinroberts779
@justinroberts779 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Candace....I needed to hear this today!
@Sol_Larrea
@Sol_Larrea 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you Candy! your videos helps me a lot! I'm HSP . Hugs from Argentina!
@m0rnin6star
@m0rnin6star 2 жыл бұрын
Ty that makes so much sense.
@jocko1532
@jocko1532 Жыл бұрын
Eight minutes of pure brilliance. This well-spoken, beautiful woman knows what she's talking about. Through your knowledge and wisdom, you are helping so many people get through some of the hardest times of their lives 🩷🙏🏼.
@drewmcgrath2450
@drewmcgrath2450 3 жыл бұрын
This reminded me of your EFT vid. Ill have to go back and give that another watch. Gong through this topic with family right now. Thanks Candace
@jeremiahanderson7203
@jeremiahanderson7203 2 жыл бұрын
After listening and searching for ways to improve self love and maintaining true value and independence in myself and to my inner child, I’m struggling with this and I can’t really get past this question: How do you deal with the guilt of knowing you weren’t healthy and healed enough to be in a relationship, caused some turmoil, (in addition to the other persons unhealed traumas) and the relationship ended in a toxic way? I gave an ultimatum for a boundary that I needed and asked him if he could meet it. I think my emotional volume was up way too loud, because I was learning how to regulate the volume of emotions and how to communicate the boundary being crossed in a loving way. How should I approach this conversation with myself in a forgiving way?
@marcellusrobinson1465
@marcellusrobinson1465 Жыл бұрын
I still struggle to forgive myself for the part I played in. For being a unhealthy person
@Qwerty_7575
@Qwerty_7575 11 ай бұрын
Just stumbled upod this vid randomly. I needed this. Thank you!!
@momione11
@momione11 2 жыл бұрын
True, this happened once more in life. But it also became an awakening that is not enough. But had pain in the body that was tough and a sadness. Which consisted of old truaman that came up. But this also became the way to myself.
@marcellusrobinson1465
@marcellusrobinson1465 Жыл бұрын
I really appreciate this video because it is the one video I’ve found on KZbin that fully explains what I was dealing with with my ex. Other vids came close. But this one is spot on Now I know I’m not crazy. Thank you Candace
@jacksaintjack2844
@jacksaintjack2844 11 ай бұрын
I have never loved anyone as I did her. Never had anyone express the amount of love and affection she did. It was almost overwhelming. She raised one red flag after another over time, until the last one revealed that I was being manipulated the entire time. Knowing this has made it so easy to write her a goodbye letter and not feel any pain inside. Cheat on me. Lie to me. Manipulate me. Ignore me. Any of these will kill all of the love I once had inside and replace it with anger and resentment which will prevent me from suffering at all. Good riddance.
@hakeemduran3741
@hakeemduran3741 Жыл бұрын
THIS IS A HELP 👍🏽 thanks 😊💯
@ravanjanae
@ravanjanae 2 жыл бұрын
for some reason I find it easier to withdraw yourself day by day until it ends naturally vs just getting up and leave
@ginnythiele3347
@ginnythiele3347 Жыл бұрын
I needed this right now
@denisewhite4755
@denisewhite4755 3 жыл бұрын
Literally what I needed to hear this very moment ❤️
@kathamritachakraborty2012
@kathamritachakraborty2012 2 жыл бұрын
I really can't thank you enough for this! Thankyou so so much.
@pixey1235
@pixey1235 3 жыл бұрын
This is amazingly true! ❤️
@hughiedavies6069
@hughiedavies6069 2 жыл бұрын
I needed this. Thank you
@jeremyking3986
@jeremyking3986 2 жыл бұрын
I’m going through this now😔
@cassidyrsieder
@cassidyrsieder 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much omg , I just left my house last year and the holidays are always the worst .. my dad was very narcissistic and my mom was very manipulative and guilt tripped me SO much
@Mansions.
@Mansions. 2 жыл бұрын
So spot on. Feel like death then depression. Work is off.
@rachelharvey207
@rachelharvey207 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this content. So valuable.
@VanguardOfLight
@VanguardOfLight 3 жыл бұрын
So helpful. Thank you.
@angelawerner9551
@angelawerner9551 Жыл бұрын
How do you know if it's love? Cause isn't it true that you will feel depressed after love? .. Gah... it's all so hard...but thank you for all of these insights!!
@ARTISTS1977
@ARTISTS1977 Жыл бұрын
One of the best
@KamyePrice
@KamyePrice 15 күн бұрын
Yes 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
@ceeceedior21
@ceeceedior21 2 жыл бұрын
Yes it does hurt
@Singlemom-life-style
@Singlemom-life-style Жыл бұрын
How do u go no contact when u have to co parent with young kids
@CandacevanDell
@CandacevanDell Жыл бұрын
Minimal and very surface level. Try to have a third party communicate for you
@marcellusrobinson1465
@marcellusrobinson1465 Жыл бұрын
I’m in this boat. It’s hard especially when your ex wants you back desperately
@agent_exodus
@agent_exodus 3 жыл бұрын
That. It. Is....
@carladandy2433
@carladandy2433 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks
@emilymurphy3644
@emilymurphy3644 Жыл бұрын
Thank yooou
@Dreamlillie_95
@Dreamlillie_95 Жыл бұрын
Is it normal for your mind to go blank? I broke up with my boyfriend... ex boyfriend a few days ago... and my mind is empty. I can't really think of anything. I don't really want to do anything... I can't focus... I'm barely eating and... and I'm soo tired
@sparklingblood09
@sparklingblood09 5 ай бұрын
On and off for 4 years and ended now, feeling the same. It never changes. 4 years of my youth. Gone.
@YGabi333
@YGabi333 3 жыл бұрын
What if you dont have any friends and no contact with any family members?
@steve4524
@steve4524 3 жыл бұрын
I’m in the same boat, good luck
@LovkynaPeral
@LovkynaPeral 3 жыл бұрын
Maybe it is sharing is caring between You - Love and Steve - one of possibility too. Stay strong you both, after all raining will come again the sun 💚
@breezyboost
@breezyboost 3 жыл бұрын
Start working on yourself...self growth mentally physically emotionally...people will come because you start to radiate positive energy. You'll become a magnet.
@YGabi333
@YGabi333 3 жыл бұрын
@@breezyboost I have been doing that for years, and its like since then I "lost" a lot of people and family cuz I start standing for myself. Even though I dont want to go back(I wont) it would be nice to have some people to talk to!
@breezyboost
@breezyboost 3 жыл бұрын
@@YGabi333have you worked with a therapist? Sometimes you have to release everything before you build new relationships.
@momione11
@momione11 4 ай бұрын
Its real.
@bobbydeenjr
@bobbydeenjr 11 ай бұрын
Drinking a lot..haha. Nope, not me
@allylight8656
@allylight8656 3 жыл бұрын
U t absolutely beautiful I wish u cud do a vid on ur beauty favourites- I luv, luv how u do ur makeup xx
@Racket_junkyard
@Racket_junkyard 3 жыл бұрын
Would you be my supernatural Byeill( Nhqeshphatpoh-phrenosomnia )not Byeill Supernatural( Nhqeshphatpoh-in Pleed)? Lol
@CL-we6hg
@CL-we6hg 3 жыл бұрын
But does this mean I have to door slam my daughter ? She is a covert narcissist ??
@brirob00
@brirob00 3 жыл бұрын
Speak to me. I am getting better.
@lancelawrence7825
@lancelawrence7825 3 жыл бұрын
Off topic but a Inn -Famous kin just put her 1st book into the Multiverses. See Lady Megan Rose. Eye chipped inn 2,cents, sil Vous plait/play?)
@bodymindsoul60
@bodymindsoul60 3 жыл бұрын
L❤️VE
@marcellusrobinson1465
@marcellusrobinson1465 Жыл бұрын
Why couldn’t I find this video a year ago smh
@emilyroseellis
@emilyroseellis 3 жыл бұрын
@DanteGuerrero-ed6rs
@DanteGuerrero-ed6rs Жыл бұрын
I can’t sleep
@marcellusrobinson1465
@marcellusrobinson1465 Жыл бұрын
I know just what you’re going through
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