Body Language EXPERT Says These HABITS Will Help You Spot If Someone Is Telling the Truth or LYING

Hey guys, Lisa here! If you didn’t already know, I am super frikin excited to share that I’m writing a book! To be the FIRST to get sneak peeks about my book and other exclusive content go to: lisabilyeu.com/ and be sure to sign up for my newsletter.
It’s so easy to get caught up trying to catch other people in lies. In your love life, working relationships, and even with family and friends, thoughts of, ‘what if this person is lying’ crosses your mind more than you’d like to admit. But, have you ever considered whether or not your own verbal and nonverbal cues were sending the wrong message and causing people to think maybe you’re the one not being honest? Vanessa Van Edwards is joining us to break down how to better identify if you are being lied to, and ways you can ensure you’re not sending the wrong signals. Lack of confidence, anxiety and shame are just a few of the ‘honest’ behaviors Vanessa warns could manifest almost identical to the cues used for dishonesty. Here is what you need to know to not just spot a lie, but to be a better communicator and create better relationships in your life built around honesty and transparency.
Preorder Vanessa Van Edwards’ new book, Cues: amzn.to/3leaa1j
SHOW NOTES:
Science of Lying | Vanessa shares why mornings are better for honesty
Assume the Truth | Up your ability to detect lies by assuming the truth
Congruence | Vanessa breaks down looking for misaligned verbal and nonverbal cues
Mixed Messages | Why anxiety and lack of confidence has same cues as lying does
Step 1 Lie Detection | Establish a baseline of person when they tell truth
Step 2 Lie Detection | Establish their nervous baseline to know their nervous tells
Step 3 Lie Detection | Spot red-flags and micro-expressions incongruent with baseline
Ignoring Instinct | Vanessa shares importance of not ignoring instinct if you see truth
Step 4 Lie Detection | Look for red-flag clusters, use the rule of 3 before moving to step 5
Step 5 Lie Detection | Circle back, ask questions, and give opportunity to to overcome the lie
Share The Cues | Why learning cues together improves relationships and conversations
Intentional Liars | Vanessa explains how to spot them and remove those toxic people
Modes of Communication | Why people are more likely to lie over phone than text
Kinds of Lies | When people are self-deceptive, ill-intentioned versus well-intentioned
Truth Rules | Vanessa shares how to establish truth rules for people in your life
Shame Cues | How to spot shames cues and respond for better relationships
Modes of Lying | Listening for audio cues and how to communicate truthfully in email
QUOTES:
“The more you seek the good and people the more you focus on the truth, the better you are at spotting lies.”
“The basis of lie detection is that liars have so many things they’re trying to keep straight that they forget where they leak out their truth. And so that means they're saying one thing, but their body, or their voice tone shows another.”
“baselining is looking at how someone acts, sounds and speaks when they're telling the truth.”
“ I trust the body because it's hard to be incongruent, it takes more energy.”
“When you know what cues to spot, it gives you your confidence back, I think it's a secret backdoor into confidence.”
“Give our partners and our friends and our people as much communication advantages we have.”
“So if you've made it to set number three, with people over and over again, you're constantly in set three, you're constantly seeing red flags, you've confirmed, you've seen clusters, what's going on, you've done research, those people should not be in your life.”
“It's against our nature to put any kind of lie in writing because we think to ourselves, I could get caught.”
“It's really important to distinguish between ill will lies, like lies that don't mean well, and lies that people don't know themselves well enough.”
“I would rather live in hard truth than ignorant bliss. I would rather hear the truth than think that everything's okay and it's not.”
“Being sterile and emotionless and not using personal pronouns and not using emotional words actually makes you sound dishonest.”
Follow Vanessa Van Edwards:
Website: www.scienceofpeople.com/
KZbin: / vanessavanedwardsyt
Twitter: / vvanedwards
Instagram: / vvanedwards
Facebook: / vvanedwards

[@LisaBilyeu]

How can you tell when someone is lying?

[@theearlybird365]

I'm about to find out 😉

[@Stormy_Dawn]

Ive noticed nervous talking & "diarrhea of the mouth" is common for a lot of people...they are trying to over explain or convince you of the "truth". The fast speech is a dead giveaway with normally calm people.

[@miranda2421r]

Looking at their eyes, how they change during a conversation and if they match the mouth. Well, not the eyes. Mostly the muscles around it. And secondly the shoulders, how they are held. I think that's what I usually see (though I'm not always aware of seeing it myself).

[@debbieferreira9669]

Ive been naive for many years and have "chosen" to not see the red flags. Then when it happened again, (I got hurt again) I realized that I have intentionally been lied to. Feeling manipulated and betrayed. But still I want to see good, understand why. But still haven't received any answers.

[@SalvadorOlague]

Yess!!

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Was so honored to be on! I love you Lisa and thanks everyone for watching

[@jasenkavukelic5047]

Thank you for sharing your knowledge with all of us!

[@lisabilyeu8103]

LOOOOOVE YOOOOU so much homie!! And you KNOW this!!!! ❤️🥰

[@ani1451]

Thank you for being on! One of my favorite WOI episodes❤️🥰

[@Sonia-zq9ek]

It’s always a pleasure to hear you talk, Vanessa! And to see you!😍 I always learn a lot with you!

[@tariqahmed7244]

I must say it's your personal effort tht has paved . I personally loved the clip , it's really informative . 👍👍👏👏 Keep it up . I would love to see more clips of u for better understanding

[@ani1451]

She’s a recovering awkward person????? She radiates nothing but confidence and charisma! That means there’s still hope for my social anxiety!!😅

[@ScienceOfPeople]

You are so so kind. And there is hope! I promise!

[@socialmails5421]

Because she is good at lying now from all the bad liars she has met

[@adrianflo6481]

She says that because its marketable, fun and quirky. She didnt use the word anxiety. She draws parallels to drug addicts which both undermines the struggle off addiction but also makes it sound like awkwardness is a huge problem when its not. Just be a genuin person. it really isnt harder than that. If at work, work hard and people will respect you and accept your personality. If not they are children.

[@apilotnamedsiren4808]

It's a forever adventure!

[@suemaz9846]

IMO she found her passion and is using her strengths which is why she’s so charismatic. It’s her sweet spot so there’s hope for all of us!

[@perriannmayfield-lb1dx]

This is brilliant! I am autistic and am often seen as dishonest and now I know that my lack of self awareness and natural incongruity are likely the things preventing people from seeing me as sincere! But how does someone like me fix this when I literally cannot process things quickly enough to do the right moves on demand? Also, wouldn't THAT in itself feel very dishonest?

[@ScienceOfPeople]

It's fantastic that you're gaining insights into how you're perceived and wanting to enhance your sincerity! It's not about speed but authenticity. Slow processing doesn't equate to dishonesty. It's about congruency in your actions and words, even if they come at your own pace.

[@tiffanym1108]

I somewhat agree with telling your partner on how to read cues, but telling someone who's toxic, narcissistic, or pathological liars, they will use those cues against you.

[@ryan3442]

Those are the people you ought to have already removed from your life. Your partner should be a person you could trust with your life, money, health, children, career, whatever. If you don't deem them worthy and faithful...cut them out 100%.

[@tiffanym1108]

@@ryan3442 true. But a covert narc is harder to spot

[@teresajsherrick5099]

Raised by an extremely abusive narcissist imposed conditioning that resulted in a self-imposed avoidance of personal pronouns... wondering if people assume "I" am lying? ...or would this fall under personal baseline?

[@tiffanym1108]

@@teresajsherrick5099 that would be considered your baseline but to people who don't understand, it would seem you are lying

[@evonne315]

They use everything against you.

[@jokey9876]

“I would rather live in hard truth than ignorant bliss” I completely agree! ❤️

[@FablesDen]

I love how this is less about lie detection but more about honest communication and communication strategies! 💖💖 So informative and inspiring and uplifting. Thank you for this interview!

[@cassandrahillegass4745]

Yes, I could not agree more!

[@Dr.JudeAEMasonMD]

Exactly! For us conflict averse folks and people pleasers this is gold. We need to learn to be HONEST. It’s actually not kind not hide our truth from others. We need to give others a chance to do it communicate with us kindly, just ask for what we need. I need you to…xyz. Give others a chance to meet the need.

[@beau-ti-ful5192]

That is true. Lack of confidence and anxiety can be mistaken as a liar.

[@jackrippper3389]

i've just watched 54 minutes and it only feels like 5 min LOL. Amazing content, thank you!

[@kowtherabdelrahman9851]

Same

[@mirelladlima5278]

So true we ignore the red flags because we did not detect them. We failed to spot the incongruencies because we did not know the signs.🙏

[@Fluvienne]

That’s not why we miss the red flags. We miss them because of what we want to believe. We tend to discard as irrelevant the things that threaten our cocoon. Besides, hindsight is 20/20 and that clarity is lacking when we allow ourselves to be misted.

[@m.zahran638]

Isn't she so beautiful and cute, she has a great smile give a huge amount of positive energy. I like it so much 😍

[@redsloane879]

That's what you got from this? Her LOOKS?!🙄

[@shelby3755]

@@redsloane879 aw come on, they were just commenting on her vibes 🙄 nothin wrong with that

[@elizabethfree5294]

My nose itches when I feel really vulnerable/exposed. Not usually lying. Being on the spectrum, lying is emotionally excruciating. It's much easier just to tell the truth.. and not do things I need to run from later.

[@amohiapaul7530]

Not usually lying or not lying 🤷

[@monicavoltolina8497]

Wooow…I am Italian and the higher tone at the end of the sentences, which for us is super normal and signals curiosity and sends off openness, is SO mistaken abroad, I only realized it now. Biggest English lesson of my life 😂

[@Colors5873]

It won’t be a problem, because it’s your baseline.

[@jasenkavukelic5047]

Lisa has this amazing quality, she is such a good listener! So important!

[@lisabilyeu8103]

Ahhh thanks so much 🥰

[@reflux043]

The easiest way to spot lying is when they smirk, especially if you ask them if they cheated. Another is jumbling their words, they're tripping up because they have so many lies to keep on top of. Eye contact can sometimes be a sign, but anxiety or nervousness can cause you to look away. Clutching their phone and being protective of it is a sign of hiding something.

[@peacelove7437]

I’ve done that and I wasn’t cheating just over the question because he was cheating. Yup yup

[@tianiemitchell5692]

What you described about reading someone's body language is what card players have been doing for years and that is looking for a tell

[@jeremynicoletti9060]

This makes me realize how difficult it can be to be open and honest. I'm very honest, but not always very open. Now I'm beginning to see some reasons why that's a bad strategy.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

So glad this episode got you reflecting ❤

[@aytankhanbayli1039]

The lack of confidence can be mistaken as lie. This is how i feel when I talk to people. Because my social anxiety makes me look like a liar, and I knew it. I was just wondering, and she confirmed.

[@SigMaQuint]

I had this classmate, very talented musically, picked up steps and choreography instantly.. She always scratched her nose when presenting homework. She could have made it in public, but she is very private. I think this nose scratching was a sign that she really felt uncomfortable in front of class.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Yes, it's possible it was a self-soothing gesture!

[@mirelladlima5278]

I am a recovering awkward person. Downright sincere !! 🙏

[@elenadarling4697]

Vanessa Van Edwards has been an amazing role model. 7 years later you can tell she keeps perfecting her craft. Beautiful soul.

[@mirelladlima5278]

Also by showing up authentically, you encourage the other person to also communicate and show up in a similar way.🤗🙏💗

[@curlymixednezz]

Exactly!! It makes it feel good

[@Fluvienne]

People are still “showing up”?

[@brianaulsbury7663]

You definitely know when someone really knows their stuff, because they can explain it very simply and to anyone. Fantastic content. Impressive!

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you for watching! Glad you enjoyed ❤

[@mirelladlima5278]

yes among close friends one really needs to hear the truth even when it's bitter and hard to swallow. 🤗🙏

[@Jacquie11]

My husband says It's Not My favorite when I ask him how dinner was LOLOL. I know it's his polite way to say he doesn't like it but he has gratitude that I made dinner. lol

[@audgepodge381]

It's hard for me to look at people in the eyes and reply to questions, I can't think of a proper answers. I'm a very anxious person by nature so this is very interesting that you said that whilst writing this! hahaha great video!

[@drsheethal1906]

Me too

[@ggggia]

@@drsheethal1906 that is my biggest issue in communication. Even if I am slightly nervous, I absolutely cannot make eye contact. I have trouble keeping eye contact and takes a huge effort to keep it but it's even worse when I am nervous.

[@fglegg4699]

I'm the same, I look away as I'm visualising my answer.

[@Fluvienne]

Locked-in eye contact for more than a couple seconds is freakin creepy and confrontational. I don’t know why people associate it with honesty. What’s more, the most crafty liars, psychopaths and narcissists have perfected it. They will look right into your soul and embed their lies. 😅

[@dawn6232]

I don’t know if I agree that if I look for the good and assume the best, is accurate. I did that for 22 years in a marriage with a passive aggressive covert narcissist and my entire life with my personality disordered parents. Projecting empathy and a Pollyanna outlook was my Achilles heel.

[@jestersi]

Because lies are not the norm you get good at spotting how they tell truth, then you see a shift. Being on the spectrum when listening/talking i have to look away to cut visual stimulation sometimes, but that can be misunderstood as disinterest or lieing. Thats why you take a baseline of people asking questions you know the answer to, name, bday, moms name, what color is this. Then ask questions you know they will likely lie about

[@olivialouise3148]

That makes sense about assuming the worse in people because that’s what cops do and they think everyone is lying but in fact most people they interview are telling the truth.

[@13Hazy]

Now I’m ready to go grill someone with some questions

[@LeLeB37]

This confirms a lot of what I already do. I cut people off who I know have lied to me. I don't have time for this mess. You always feel confused and frustrated with them and distrustful. No time for that!

[@carolinemonique4832]

When I know I'm not telling the truth about something I'm always afraid people can see my face getting red because it feels hot across the bridge of my nose

[@flaviafinnegan1553]

😂 my friends call me the 'truth wizard ' 😍 and yes ! I am super positive and optimistic which my friends think is an oxymoron considering l can pick liars about 90% of the time ...however you have explained it perfectly !! 💓 Thank you 😂😍

[@shadeekamendez1743]

*WE KNOW THE TRUTH* *WE FEEL THE TRUTH*

[@ambermiravalle5153]

I'll be listening to this over and over again. Thanks for giving us the tools! 😃

[@PoliticalWonderland]

“I’d rather live in hard truth, than ignorant bliss”

[@theonejaynewallace296]

One thing though. I was taught by my parents to always be professional and not 'yourself' because people like that. You know these old people of those years wan everything so professional and 'perfect'. BUT I have found what you said about the email stuff, to be true. I like to write emails where Im just myself. Expressing myself. I have written emails where I sound so professional and its just not myself. I have not gotten any responses from clients. Because I was so professional, and it even felt like to me, that I was hidding something. But its not something that Im lieing about. I was just scared to be myself because I was taught different. Im breaking that cycle though, what I was taught. I feel like the new generation will be different. We can truly be ourselves without judgement.

[@vanessap2814]

Vanessa has complete package of beauty, knowledge, and great communicator. I was captivated of her smartness through this interview. My question is, when we caught lie, people tend to isolate or discard us from normal or positive being. Lying is the source of hiding the truth protecting ourselves from sabotaging and controlling. This is an option and should not define of who we are.

[@ellasscraps7734]

Expect nothing, and the unexpected naturally happens either good or bad.

[@leahswenson7776]

This was wonderful! Watching again!

[@SigMaQuint]

Another point is that this is a lot better way of approaching true and false than conjuring up conspiracy theories.

[@Gemagianni22]

When she was talking about saying something and your body doing something different, it reminded me of all the Kardashians and the way they speak. 😝

[@animallover4101]

Liars are sooooooo exhausting 😩

[@poeticinspirations]

AMAZING!! I so loved this episode!!

[@relaxwithme__]

So many gems in this! Thank you Vanessa 🙏🏻

[@randyarnold9395]

I took one of Vanessa's courses on Udemy and it help me with family members I was suspicious of being habitual liars. (They were). I watched this video as somewhat of a refresher. Vanessa is a really good teacher as well as giving cautions of not jumping to conclusions.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

So glad I could help!! Grateful for your support ❤

[@c.j.m.mariaa]

I always smile when I am stressed/ scared/ nervous or in pain. I have complex ptss. Allot of people think I am dishonest when I smile when I tell them something painfull or something about my past but that isnt at all the case.

[@gargipaul1325]

This is MIND-BLOWING!

[@curlymixednezz]

You guys have such great energy together!! Love the topic 💕

[@scamp9360]

I love this! You both are such inspirations

[@saimakapia1924]

I'm so lucky to have come across this video. Thank u Lisa.

[@mirelladlima5278]

Vanessa Van Edwards you have an amazing personality and exude such positive energy and enthusiasm. Tks for such valuable content.🤗🙏

[@zanastrange1878]

Lisa, you are so awesome. Thanks for getting Vanessa. As always, you are soooo good at your job!

[@victoriamigliavacca5950]

I love Vanessas's energy and excitment!!

[@sanyday9370]

I love Vanessa, great that she's back !

[@lizzienntate]

The way someone speaks with their body language.

[@cynthiahoz3948]

Thank you for presenting such a fabulous guest. Trusting your intuition surrounding untruthful people is always the best route. Trust your gut! It controls the entire human body! Would love to see more content like this. So profound.

[@mbibi5784]

Thankyou sooo sooo much for your channel Lisa. The content is very valuable. I find your notes useful to read after the video.

[@user-mf7ll4nm4n]

There are so many shisters out there and I a.m so sick of it.Shame on you who lie and deceive.Best you stay home and think about what you are doing.If you can not be kind your ego will catch up with you Think about it folks.

[@jamiepatton9334]

One of your best guests Lisa!!! Thanks!

[@katgonzalez8277]

Fantastic guest; very interesting points!

[@Jupiterninja]

Wow!! Love it !! I needed it !!

[@TipLovingPrincess]

Thanks for always helping us come in alignment with our true selves

[@ligiasommers]

Amazing !!!! Super helpful and interesting 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🙏🏻💖🌹

[@zovi123]

Cool discussion, Liza as always.

[@heathergonzalez6890]

I just finished the interview-congrats to both of you on your new books! I’m looking forward to reading them!

[@aysanyousefi3680]

Life changing and powerful i’m gonna visit this video couple of times Thanks lisa thanks vanessa it was amazing♥️🥰

[@delmi864]

Thus was fun! Thank you much, loved the energy. ☺

[@wthlv4876]

I M IN LOVE TOOT !!! I NEED TO GET HER BOOK !!!

[@lkhagvadulamlkhagvajav1179]

Thank you very much for doing video for us. It’s helpful to know !

[@eaf888]

that nervous tell was awesome!

[@wildestdreams_b]

This channel is gold. You help so many people Lisa. Never forget that🌸

[@carlamiranda5736]

I have watched one of vanessa’s vlog 5 years ago talking about the same topic and I am really amazed I saw her on this interview for another discussion! This is soooo interesting and really mind blowing that after watching this video I would run after looking for people to check for cues! Haha love it!

[@giastav]

Vanessa on Lisa’s show....I just had to watch!! Outstanding episode

[@Dr.JudeAEMasonMD]

This is GOLD! Truly quality top notch content. Thank you ladies, keep it up.

[@PeterEMarx]

You're a very special lady, Lisa. You deserve all the success in the world after what you've been through - and especially with the impact you're having with this channel. Us guys also relate. Thanks for who you are. :-) x Huge high five from South Africa.

[@elisha4628]

I loved this episode, I could listen to this stuff for ages, the body is so clever and the way people try and control it's actions it's intrigues me everytime! Congrats on your books both! :)

[@Liz-iu6st]

The most entertaining episode ever. Learning with humour at the same time with lots of examples. 👍🏼

[@agnescsatary9028]

this one was especially useful. Vanessa's energy is just sparking through. I instantly feel more confident with my work negotiations

[@samme1024]

"Follow up and get it in writing!" I love It. Plus so many more gems from this. THANK YOU! 💛💛

[@allmamarria]

Lisa ! I’ve been watching you for so long and just realized I wasn’t subscribed. 🤦🏽‍♀️ I absolutely love Vanessa. I appreciate the direction of the dialogue a little different from the other podcasts that she has recently been interviewed by. You both made that point clear but seamless. Thank you. Made me feel I was getting more information then I did from the other interviews I saw first.

[@angelabrown8458]

What an extraordinary video! Learnt so much, will have to watch it again. 😃

[@apilotnamedsiren4808]

What a gift to be able to see a glimpse into your mind Vanessa! Selecting each of Lisa's movements while mentally archiving social data. You said honesty is a muscle. I believe so is your understanding for these innate principles of human interaction, and it's a buff muscle!

[@jannamartens8066]

Look for good in people absolutely it actually makes a lot of sense . I do this everyday

[@heathergonzalez6890]

Yay Vanessa Van Edwards! Her book Captivate is a gem as it is filled with unique research and practicality just like in this interview. Lisa, as always, great interview!

[@wthlv4876]

YOU PUT ON GREAT SHOWS, DONT STOP KEEP IT MOVING - YOU ARE HELPING ME / A LOT MORE PPL IN THIS WORLD !!! THANK YOU 🙏🙏🙏

[@josephisaacs4172]

Sometimes when I'm doing something that I'm not confident in such as learning to play guitar it seems to elicite other people to be rude or unfriendly.

[@ldburroughs]

This was fascinating!

[@YasminWinehouse]

Watching this channel for me is like taking a pill full of vitamins...nutrition for my mind ❤

[@Aiyan777]

She is brilliant! So glad I stumbled upon this video! Recently reconnected with an ex and off the bet; he lies about sleeping with someone unprotected. To be fair, I felt his tone over the phone that he was withholding something, I was just too happy to hear from him than to hear the FULL truth. Either way, I'd rather hurting an ex partner or lover with the truth than to withholding certain info just to get what I want.

[@crearoosje]

I really love this!

[@shanshaniese]

I enjoy this! Thank you!!!

[@BrittWorldChanger]

OMG this was so much fun and so informative!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩 Also @lisa I loved the levity at 38:31 when you said “She just lied!!!” Feels like you were really invested and learning. I love it 😍

[@gypsywolf2061]

I just love how passionate this woman is about her research and work! I find it so fascinating. I’m loving this channel so much.

[@ec7362]

Yes !! the part about sometimes mistaking lying with being anxious. I laugh or smile a lot when I’m nervous, scared, hurt.... and so many people have mistaken that for lying or being rude or not caring 😭 worst thing

[@karolinawyrzykowska3574]

Thank you again. Amazing 😍

[@minhyukismxskey7286]

Thank you, very eye opening and useful

[@sweetnessSosibo]

Sooo mid-watching this video, I sent it (shared link) to my friends on WhatsApp cause it's just that amazing!!!

[@jeahluna2385]

Mine was he was trying to cry but can’t, to convince me. So a clear indication is it’s really not aligned to what the emotion should show. I’ve concluded I was w a psychopath

[@thereallinnz9407]

Taking about finding Lisa's nervous tells, I lost it! I threw up my hands with them because that's amaziiing!!! Lol can't wait to ask that question to find people's nervous tells myself 😝😎👌