worse than i could imagine.

[@danielcreamer9669]

'Not to be hyperbolic, but there is an evil soul to this movie.' I want that on a t-shirt

[@sarajoyelle]

nadia looks so concerned as jake is losing his mind

[@dbagette]

canonically accurate Woman Carrying Man

[@Morcos-v9s]

@@dbagette Woman carrying Sanity

[@CortexGrimuloid]

The trailers looked like a fake movie from Tropic Thunder or something

[@nms7872]

95% of The Rock's filmography is Tugg Speedman. Where's his SIMPLE JACK?

[@benkersten1705]

My first thought was that this movie looked like the fake movie from Scrooged. The concept of this movie was a joke in the 80’s

[@obsidiancrow450]

tropic thunder really dragged bad movies. always thought jack and jill was one of these too

[@szinyk]

@@benkersten1705 that's exactly what i thought! The Night The Reindeer Died 💀 (actually that'd probably be more entertaining)

[@JeshuaHicksAuthor]

I hadn't through if it this way but it's SO TRUE!

[@iSamwise]

Nadia being very demure, very mindful. Jake questioning why we even invented motion picture cameras if it all led to this.

[@BedBugReviews]

Jake and Nadia’s offspring will have the most refined tastes the world has ever seen

[@SyrilianGaming]

This movie cost more money than either of the Dune movies. That's insane.

[@goldenageofdinosaurs7192]

Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous😞

[@MistaZULE]

wow that is damning. There's some money laundering going on with these types of films for real.

[@budgetcommander4849]

@@MistaZULEDesign by boardroom is genuinely just that fucking awful. No foul play here, just horrible decisions.

[@MistaZULE]

@@budgetcommander4849 possibly, but then the executive producer cut must be half the budget of the film because there's no way that budget went into that polar bear cgi.

[@nyahnyahson523]

​​@@budgetcommander4849 actually no. It absolutely is that. The Rock got paid 50 mil for this movie, and his production company also made the movie. (As far as I'm aware) It basically is actually money laundering.

[@bretthake7713]

I thought this was the sequel to Red Notice and I'm not joking

[@perriwinkleiii5361]

Fr though

[@andrerenault]

Wait it’s not?

[@sanguillotine]

Everyone did. Everyone thought that.

[@akpsyche1299]

To be fair, Dwayne Johnson does play the same character.

[@alexanderandrews1263]

This film will change of the hierarchy of the Christmas movie universe

[@alexanderandrews1263]

Watching the clip of Dwayne Johnson talking about this movie going to IMAX after seeing Oppenheimer is probably the only funny thing to surround this... event

[@ArthurKnight1899]

Yaa this was produced by Amazon and Santa is a buff bald tech guy who runs a corporation delivering boxes to people supported by govt agencies? Hmmmmm.....🤔

[@inkasaraswati7625]

Okay that makes sooooo much sense

[@merck__]

The bar for these movies is "would my time be better spent sitting in a dark room doing nothing for 90 minutes."

[@camelopardalis84]

Just like you can say about a bad newspaper that "trees had to die for this", you can say about a film of literally no merit that "this helped cause climate change".

[@kellymoses8566]

No, it is "would I rather be doing math"

[@budgetcommander4849]

Actually, the bar is lower. Sitting in a black room is second screen enough. It works.

[@Yelloweyedrobo]

It’s like Arthur Christmas but they think Arthur’s brother is right

[@keepingitkianatural]

Omg

[@perriwinkleiii5361]

🤯

[@perriwinkleiii5361]

Coming to Netflix next year: Steve Christmas

[@sandstormxx]

The thing is 'Santa is a corporation' has been done before. It's basically the plot of 'Arthur Christmas' and that's about the old ways vs the new, mega corp ways of Santa. It's silly and very sweet.

[@ernie39]

I enjoyed Arthur Christmas!! had better animation too :-)

[@OnlyTheMostHoodOfGabes]

Great movie!

[@LordVader1094]

Polar Express had it to a degree as well, though much more toned down I think

[@samkeiser9776]

@@LordVader1094a heavy part of this movie doing corporate Santa is the way Santa is characterized in this film, he’s basically grindset Santa.

[@MeepBeep-b7h]

The movie Arthur Christmas is kinda the same Santa’s a corporate thing and there’s a bunch of tech and focused on the practicality but it is self aware and is about how that destroys Christmas and Arthur the main character is the one who has the magic and what not. It’s basically what you were asking for and is really sweet.

[@itsmokka44]

Was literally thinking about that movie during the review

[@TheMrBigJeff]

Yes! Jake, Nadia; if you’ve not seen Arthur Christmas: that should be this years Christmas film that you guys watch for Christmas and is new - it’s fantastic.

[@typing4mylife]

My favorite Christmas film of the 2000s.

[@Dr_Mortis_SCP]

I mean The Santa Clause also focuses on Santa as a CEO, except that trilogy (I’ve not watched the series and I don’t plan to) is actually funny

[@MeepBeep-b7h]

@ you’re right I wasn’t thinking of that as much just because that ones not as tech bro and mostly just magic stuff

[@adonysus]

I love Nadia being very "well, it wasn't THAT bad" meanwhile Jake is losing his fucking mind over how awful the film was. Perfect dynamic for movie reviews, everyone else, take notes

[@MichaelClark20]

I love how this video starts with Jake immediately baring a thousand yard stare. Out of everything, this is the one that broke him

[@capsjukebox]

I don’t think anyone can say they ‘Saw’ this film. They were exposed to it. Like the elephants foot at Chernobyl.

[@lukijez]

Ofc they didn't. 'Saw' is a very different film and has nothing to do with christmas or the rock

[@samwatson-tayler2805]

Name one tech CEO who spends his Christmas Eve giving out toys to kids for free

[@Guardsmen4]

easy zero

[@hosvet_animation]

Gabe Newell would actually be perfect for that.

[@perriwinkleiii5361]

0:49 this is your public service announcement to go watch Arthur Christmas if you want the things he's listing

[@space_1073]

There has never been a more non-movie. This doesn’t exist I refuse to believe it. That poster and title are ai generated.

[@Knuspabrot]

We have all been secretly captured by aliens who locked us into a simulation to harvest power from our disappointment.

[@tedarcher9120]

Damsel

[@claritycrystal8742]

Atlas

[@Knuspabrot]

So it's a subtle techbro-fascist propaganda christmas action comedy starring a roided out narcissist and cheap CGI. Just delightful. Just what the world needed in these trying times.

[@sleep5778]

Jake is actually in the emotional state early youtube movie critics pretended to be.

[@opheliarosewood7847]

Did you guys see it in IMAX? You really can't fully understand the movie if you don't see it in IMAX. I cried seventeen times and converted religions by the second act.

[@FruitMonger360]

The trailers made it look like one of those factory films that they spit out to make some money, and not an actual story people wanted to tell. This review seems to just confirm that.

[@fpedrosa2076]

Random list of Xmas movies better than this disaster: - Hogfather: the movie where death has to pretend to be santa. - Krampus: genuine Christmas horror movie. - Die Hard: I know calling it a Christmas movie is tired at this point. Still more heartfelt than this movie though. Less torture too. - Tokyo Godfathers: protagonists are three homeless people in Japan. If I had to really recommend a single one, it would be this.

[@MistaZULE]

I'd like to add the Holdovers. Not necessarily a Christmas movie (more of a coming of age drama/comedy) but it's set at Christmas and Christmas is a big part of the film. Beautiful and genuinely touching movie.

[@RoshanMLiyakath]

Thanks for the recommendation, I really look forward to watching Tokyo Godfathers the premise seems very interesting!

[@areafire1]

Adding in "Klaus", the animated movie on Netflix. It's a beautiful 2d animated movie with a lot of heart

[@fpedrosa2076]

@@areafire1 Klaus is so good. The story is neat and different from the usual Xmas animation fare, but the visuals take it to the next level! Good rec!

[@KOTEBANAROT]

​@@RoshanMLiyakathtokyo godfathers is so peak, you wont regret it

[@PanAndScanBuddy]

No offense to JK Simmons, full offense to the script writer and producers - Santa being a jolly fat guy to play off The Rock being a stern, no-nonsense, ripped guy is a comedy no-brainer. He's gonna be kidnapped for most of the movie, have the early stuff just be goofball heartwarming Santa talking about how he loves to make children happy and stuff, and Decimatus Vanguard or whatever the Rock is called is out going "We know there's someone out there who can ruin Christmas, and I have to protect it."

[@Alucard-A-La-Carte]

"What if Santa was Homelander? You know, THE GOOD GUY!" -the director/Dwayne Johnson, apparently

[@michaelcurcio3887]

You almost convinced me to go hate watch it until the bit about torture. I hate how torture is portrayed as effective and necessary in media. Torture doesn't work because t doesn't provide good intelligence. Oh ya, and its also morally repugnant. But you wouldn't know that from our media landscape

[@ExtremeMadnessX]

It was a hug from talking polar bear.

[@michaelcurcio3887]

@@ExtremeMadnessX For sure, and next thing you know polar bear hugs or whatever kinky thing the kids are calling it will be defended by Antonin Scalia like he did with Jack Bauer's waterboarding and fingercrackin'. Thanks Rock

[@flyingsnail_art9170]

Same, it makes me so uncomfortable how torture is portrayed in action movies. It’s part of what’s turned me off of them tbh

[@jknifgijdfui]

Womp womp

[@williampan29]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/j4HMfWZjeL6tjc0

[@nickdenardi]

Jake, your thoughts on this were incredible to behold. I'm sorry, and thank you.

[@anne-zh2kd]

Tbh, the third reviewer was not contributing at all. Just lying there in amniotic fluid.

[@pattheplanter]

Film not worth being born for.

[@rubensjunior8586]

Damn, this movie depressed Jake for real

[@michaelfarrellsmith]

Jeff Bezos is Santa, yikes. Next year everyone will receive notices that gift-receiving is now an opt-in subscription-only service, but, as previous users, you can get 10% off. I agree that this movie looks like it has an evil soul.

[@RH1812]

I admire you for even bothering to watch it at all. I saw the trailer and its quality was obvious.

[@jasonmacendale8378]

I feel like if they actually cared and didn't want to make the most corporate Christmas movie ever, it would be somewhat similar to Central Intelligence if you combined it with Elf: Dwayne Johnson being a whimsical elf who is freaking out because nothing bad had ever happened to Santa before and is just a massive dork who is comedically strong, and he has to team up with the cynical, often annoyed supernatural agent who insist that this is serious but Johnson's character is a big old optimist that treats the missions like games.

[@sanguillotine]

I misunderstood your comment and thought you were just describing movie, but now that I know that isn’t what the movie is, I have to wonder what exactly Johnson’s characterization is like in this movie if not strong goofball. I haven’t seen it.

[@arnoldfreeman2885]

I’ve never seen Man get actually angry

[@heisen-bones]

Man carrying resentment

[@fightthepowerman]

Bro.... This guys hair, beard and glasses ccombo.... Perfect for a shop keeper in the old west. Seriously imagine him in a bowler with a white shirt and black waistcoat....

[@keepingitkianatural]

And yea... he's heard some things, maybe a quest or two, but it'll cost ya.

[@flyingsnail_art9170]

Oh forgot to say films I watched in cinema recently that I really enjoyed were Wild Robot and Transformers One! Animated movies are really stealing my heart this year

[@murciadoxial8056]

jake is onto something, cause that movie felt like straight up corporate capital P Propaganda

[@AndNoMilk]

"No whimsy." 😂 Oh god, this is already so fricken funny.

[@BeeBeeBeeBeeiox]

Seeing Jake powering down on the armchair before the outro should be used in the ads for this movie.

[@QueenDodogondo]

9:19 missed a perfect opportunity to say 39 1/2 foot pole

[@perriwinkleiii5361]

Half a foot from greatness

[@koira1]

jake looks so defeated

[@TLBainter]

I knew from the trailer alone that this film was going to be so abysmal that its very existence would be a stain on humanity.

[@zacharyduval8265]

Santa and his team being treated like a military operation that feels soulless? Oh Arthur Christmas and Prep + Landing called, they would like to talk with Red One.

[@pojo7712]

To cheer Jake up you guys should do a review of Look Back on prime video. :)

[@caiusactinunwise1412]

"Cheer up" 😂good one, but in all seriousness YES it's amazing and I know these two would love it.

[@christopherlundgren1700]

"It's safe to say you don't recommend it?" 😆

[@anne1596]

Nadia looks great hope the pregnancy is going well!

[@WhytheBookWins]

I love how Jake loses no time just ripping into this 😆

[@drsuchomimus]

This movie gave me new-found appreciation for “Jingle all the way”, at least that movie had something vaguely relatable and human about it

[@dannymirjanovic8453]

I think Arnold is kinda a comedic genius too. The rock doesn't have the charisma of Arnold and he takes himself way too seriously.

[@CalvinLee606]

Jingle all the way knew what it was and played into it.

[@FrshChees91]

Jake had to wait a day to get all that out.

[@pssurvivor]

so santa is elon musk the way elon musk wants to see himself?

[@Projectsunduck]

Awhile back, while watching that yt doc about the Disney channel bumper music, there was a portion that has always stuck with me. One of the brand managers for Disney channel is speaking about her time there. A year before Finding Nemo had a trailer release, they had already started placing fish/ocean/aquarium themed bumpers on the channel. This was to get kids watching, into the upcoming film. Then movie comes out, then toys are advertised, a nice little ecosystem, that starts with the ideas being sparked early on. TV and Movie execs have understood this for decades. I agree, the shift to say “corporate is family and corporate is myth” in larger media, in hand with how ads are also trusted as truth, and no pushback on social media ( ads in your life 80% of your wake time) .. I do think it’s a big deal to point out.

[@breakinglegsandbreakinghea3167]

Only The Dwayne "The Rock" The Johnson could star in a movie about Santa Clause and still demand being the centre of attention.

[@flyingsnail_art9170]

Honestly I was thinking of watching this because I was hoping it would be a fun bad movie to put on in the background and laugh at but this discussion makes me feel like I shouldn’t bother haha. There’s a tv channel where I live that plays only Christmas romcoms all day everyday and I have so much fun having them on in the background lol, I’ll probably stick to those instead haha

[@Dynamick65]

It's like if you gave AI a prompt to make a Christmas Hollywood romp

[@David_Last_Name]

"This movie wasnt all that good" "THIS MOVIES SOUL IS EVIL." Lmao

[@RideorDinosaur]

What if Santa wasn't an immortal spirit of selfless generosity but a heartless cog in the military industrial complex instead? 🤔

[@mckenzie.latham91]

The thing is, this could have worked if it had more heart and actually wanted to be a Christmas movie Violent Night with David harbour has violence, swearing and fight scenes but it also has the Christmas spirit and David Harbour actually comes off as the perfect blend of saint and avenger and the whole time they kept the Christmas spirit which seeps into the film and characters etc.

[@arocknrolldream]

When Jake said Krampus is "related to Christmas" I jokingly said to myself, "by blood or adopted?" so imagine my reaction when, TEN SECONDS LATER, Nadia said he's Santa's adoptive brother

[@jamesfinn7916]

can't wait till 20 years from now when hbomberguy uploads a 15 hour video essay about how red one officially marks the start of the 2nd cold war

[@Mel-me9sw]

This is my first video of yours. I love it.

[@jessepinkman5702]

I haven’t watched a video from either of you in a while so this was my first time noticing, congrats on the baby! I hope they feel so loved

[@benji777tm]

Oh my god I didn't know there was a woman carrying the man who carries the thing. By transitive property she carries the thing.🤔 Thank god nothing has to carry her cuz then we'd be in a mathematical conundrum.

[@mgiebus1869]

I'm sorry you sat through that but I'm thankful for the humor

[@camelopardalis84]

Nadia, the "magicing away feces" thing involved wizards taking a dump wherever they happened to be when they had to take a dump and then magicing it away. It's not like they magiced feces out of their bodies, which would be a whole different thing, in my opinion.

[@ExtremeMadnessX]

Magic enema.

[@MistaZULE]

but where's the shit pile? What do they do with it? Just let it build and build and build? and after a few decades that place will be a biohazard on the scale of Chernobyl. It's honestly a terrifying thought if you think about it for more than a minute

[@KOTEBANAROT]

​@@MistaZULE1) shit is a fertilizer, not biohazard 2) theres no shit pile because they dont teleport it, they erase it from existence

[@MistaZULE]

@@KOTEBANAROT enough human feces in one location definitely becomes a biohazard with what humans eat. Fertilizers are made from herbivore feces with a diet exclusively of grasses. We eat meat, and modern diets are so full of chemicals to use human feces as fertilizer would toxify your soil. There's a spell to remove things from existence? Then why didn't Voldemort use that spell instead of avada kedavra? Seems way easier to be an assassin if you can just magic the body away rather than leave it to be found by the Aurors. The more I hear Harry Potter defense, the more the world makes no sense.

[@MistaZULE]

@@KOTEBANAROT So there's a spell that can magic something out of existence? Then why have Avada Kedavra at all? Just magic the person out of existence and there's no body to have to clean up. Harry Potter universe makes no sense. And yes, human feces is a biohazard. Fertilizer is made from herbivores' feces, not omnivores (which humans are).

[@cbpd89]

I saw a preview for this movie and my soul left my body. How am I to convince my kids that we can't go see it?

[@TheFurboFin]

First time ever seeing one of your videos (thanks algorithm), and I love this review! You two are entertaining & bring a well-rounded view to it. It feels just like my wife & I talking about a movie leaving the theater! Gonna have to subscribe and stay tuned for more 😁

[@nugoo7687]

I've only seen the trailer for Red One, but my biggest takeaway is that in this Christmas movie featuring other winter-themed mythological figures, they have a main character named Jack, and he isn't Jack Frost.

[@EzaleaGraves]

This movie was fun. Dwayne Johnson thrives in disaster movies, and that's really all this was. Did I leave the theater with my world shattered, questioning my own sense of right and wrong? No. Did I leave the theater with a new memory of my family all laughing at a ridiculous movie together? Yes.

[@ShirDeutch]

There's also an animated show called Santa Inc. in which the North Pole is run like a corporation, so this take isn't even an original thought.

[@AntagonistVideo]

I watched this in IMAX, coincidentally in the same seat as Christopher Nolan sits. And to me? Red One? On THAT screen? Game changer.

[@Abcdefg-tf7cu]

Eyes Wide Shut is a more emotionally uplifting movie than this

[@saulramirez7959]

"a level 8 badlister?"

[@cynicalstubs360]

This is the type of movie boomers see and point to when they say "there's nothing good being made anymore."

[@MrBaskins2010]

no shock, the rock is always adjacent to slop

[@SchulzEricT]

I mean, The Rundown was great. And I thought he was funny (or at least funny-adjacent) in Be Cool... and Southland Tales is NOT good but it's fucking weird and interesting and people were making *choices* Other than that though? Yeah.

[@chaseleedaleno6823]

that's an awfully hot coffee pot

[@samkeiser9776]

When Gryla was talking about getting everyone on the naughty list and Dwayne Johnson was like “that would include Jaywalkers.” I was sitting there like “so Santa is a cop in this movie why does breaking an arbitrary law make you naughty.”

[@LucasIsAfraid]

Red One is the bare minimum of what can be called a movie

[@SchulzEricT]

DJ shows up 8 hours late to work and then pees in bottles and leaves them around set. Real professional dude, I think I'll support him even though this movie sounds terrible.

[@ashleybanks-wm4cg]

Awww yu guys sre adorable and play off each other well i love the energy here definitely can't wait to see more movie reviews from yu guys subscribed!

[@phantomkitten73]

Maybe this movie would be *something* if Violent Night didn't already do the mystical Christmas action movie much better, and Arthur Christmas didn't already do the corporate parody of Christmas infinitely better.

[@gmg9010]

Here I was thinking that Man Carrying Things was some guy who wasn’t married and spent time in the basement. But no he’s married and looks like a kid on the way.

[@Lemonidas_of_Sourta]

Honestly, I thought it was a sequel to Red Notice and its how about how Rock and Gal were now on first priority list on capture and how they plan to escape their pursuers.

[@kyoyameganebereznoff]

I will always stand by my argument that Chris Evans is much more fun to watch when he plays a villain.

[@tedarcher9120]

This movie is not supposed to be watched. It's just christmas background content to pay attention every 15 minutes

[@ThisisJerome.]

You know they only called this movie “red one” in hopes that’s if it did well they could do a “red two” and even “red three”

[@valerius88]

1:29 "There's BARELY any jokes." That had to be accidental, but I love it.

[@JanYaps]

Monty python's spanish inquisition sketch has more magical christmas whimsy in its interrogation scene than this christmas movie

[@ivoandre8345]

Hey! Are yall gonna review Arcane season 1 now that Arcane season 2 is coming out? Would be awesome!

[@elliot2331]

it's funny that some of potentially good concepts from this movie (that it ignores and squanders), the magic vs. technology thing for Christmas and turning Christmas into a business, are actually themes in and part of the plot of a much better movie: Arthur Christmas.

[@mafiacat88]

I hated this movie so much. And part of it is how shitty it is, but a lot of that is tied to the cost. This apparently cost a quarter *billion* dollars. That's fucked up. You could have such a great movie for that, but no, we got this garbage instead. Like, how did this cost more than Dune. Also you can have stupid or violent christmas movies that are a lot of fun. Last year (or the year before) there was "violent night" which was basically "What if santa was john wick, starring hopper from stranger things". And it was fun. It was stupid, and the budget wasn't as big. But it hit the christmas vibes while *also* being an action movie based around santa with a gun. EDIT: of course you mention violent night literally ten seconds after I post this. One day I'll learn to watch a video all the way through before posting.

[@Samuel-xs2yv]

It's honestly hilarious that it's been weeks since this movie's release and the budget for the film is still not known but estimations keep going up by 10s of millions 😂

[@KSignalEingang]

I'm not particularly plugged into the media landscape these days but I think it's telling that the first I heard of this movie was my YT feed suddenly filling up with people calling it garbage.

[@musicaleuphoria8699]

Everytime the trailer come on in theaters was a good opportunity for a last minute piss break.

[@DinoMomPlays]

I like to rate movies on a scale from -5 to 5, and this movie sounds like the embodiment of a 0, which is basically the worst thing a movie could do.

[@MistaZULE]

so -5 is "so bad it's good territory"? Or is a -5 like a barely held together train wreck of a film that you would see produced by a studio that went bankrupt to faulty loans years ago?

[@DinoMomPlays]

@@MistaZULE -5 is fantastically terrible film that I recommend to all my friends so they too can witness the dumpster fire train wreck, a 0 is a movie that might have managed to complete a story from beginning to end but that I will ultimately forget and was a waste of my time.

[@MistaZULE]

@@DinoMomPlays I like that rating system. I may have to borrow this idea because I have such a hard time describing to my friends "oh my god, this movie is terrible, it's awesome" vs "Oh my god, this movie is terrible, never watch it".

[@brandonhall4547]

The rock used to just play the same character. Now he makes the same movie also. Either the same story beats, same jokes, same “moments” , it’s lifeless cut and paste that used to work and now it doesn’t

[@idahobigfootyoutubechannel]

I got a Red One Ad on this video within a few seconds of the video playing lol

[@myphone4590]

"Which we saw yesterday, through no fault of our own..."

[@Esitaro3670]

Litsen, i'm gonna say it: The idea of an action christmas movie sounds really fun! I mean, Violent Night shows that but it's clear Red One isn't the case...also, may i simply ask one little thing: WHY DOES RED ONE COST 250 MILLION DOLLARS!?!?

[@taifahmed1151]

Jake really sounds angry lmao, this movie really looks like the most hollywood engineered film that's trying to appeal to everyone .

[@dannymirjanovic8453]

Crazy that you can carry a grown man and a baby at the same time.