worth fighting for

Please be respectful in the comments section!
I will not be tolerating any hateful/derogatory speech 👹👹👹 barking noise
Music
Marie - Howard Harper-Barnes
Music by Monét Ngo - Ruby Sparks - thmatc.co/?l=C...
Flashinmusic - Matterofstyle
Pinegroove - Aquarium
Comeco do Fim - Clara Mendes
Uptown Jungle - Monica Kustfalt
Jazz PIano Bar - Doug Maxwell Media Right Productions
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[@eugeniext]

i hope things come to a peaceful resolution and if not we doobies support you, thanks for keeping it real !!!

[@khalilahd.]

Couldn’t have said it better 💛

[@Rocky-pe2gz]

Yess

[@davidscb3632]

I won’t

[@DaestrumManitz]

The authenticity of her struggle is quite gripping! It kind of leaves you torn. 🥲

[@connguy7331]

I don’t watch KZbin to become depressed….

[@dankim6864]

This piece of content delivers like a film. Subtle, honest, beautiful, and even poignant at times. Have been enjoying watching your approach to food as that’s a topic of interest for me as well, but this tells me a lot more about you because you seem to be certain as to how you want your story to end. Wish you best of luck with everyone you love.

[@blue-cc4ul]

@@Dr.SmegmaJones ?

[@CafeMaddy]

Tina I saw your story and ran here to verbally 밟아줘 some haters but instead was met with an endless scroll of your community sending you support and love. your creative work has a wonderful effect on this world and creates community. May the hate comments be zapped like mosquitos in one of those electrifiers 😌

[@purpleskies1709]

what was on the story?

[@okashiname8326]

god dammn all this suspense , whats the story? please tell

[@user-rw6be7yk7v]

@@okashiname8326 it was a screenshot of a bunch of comments complaining that she’s dating a white guy. The text she posted said something along the lines of “leave me alone stupid incels, this is why I don’t like sharing stuff on the internet”

[@okashiname8326]

@@user-rw6be7yk7v dammn lol why do they care so much who she's dating?

[@user-rw6be7yk7v]

@@okashiname8326 idk, people are dumb ig

[@pandarealwhite]

As a fellow Asian who was dropped off at the airport for studies when I was 9, having parents who didn't have high education but wanted the best for me. I know things can get really tough when values don't align and you do not want to disappoint. Hang in there Dooby, time will sort itself out!

[@saagarfromsaturn1598]

@@Dr.SmegmaJones what?

[@madisonbryan3111]

@@Dr.SmegmaJones it’s japanese. and tina is in the photo (and took it) so i don’t think it’s a subliminal message… she probably forgot to edit it out or didn’t catch it

[@pavithras1146]

@@madisonbryan3111 i dont see anything like that here

[@manifestme4696]

@@madisonbryan3111 weird. does it seem natural that it’s in the footage? Must be a subliminal thing

[@lucasmuller7806]

@@Dr.SmegmaJones i dont see anything there

[@cfo0621]

Being a father I understand wanting the best for your daughter. When my girl grows up I need to understand that I raised her to look for certain traits in a husband/boyfriend. I dont have to like her choices but I always have to be there for her no matter what happens. If you have good parents then trust, that although they will not be happy or 100% on board, they love you and they will be there for you Dooby.

[@therealkalinwhite]

Boyfriend/husband but also maybe girlfriend/wife?

[@therealkalinwhite]

@Morfran I’m actually not American nor ever lived there

[@jcruz2255]

Sucks that this family situation is bringing you down. Life is so short (and can be cut even shorter) and I'm glad you're prioritizing your happiness. And this is coming from a single dad who raised a 24-year-old daughter. We have our differences but never, NEVER to the point where I'd stop seeing her. At the end of the day, it's her life and her choices. All I can do is be there for her when she needs me. Hang in there. They'll come around soon.

[@billcaan4192]

Well done to you but every family is different and have different values how does u telling us how amazing you are makes a different to her..

[@jcruz2255]

@@billcaan4192 Lol I never said I was amazing. Just giving perspective as a parent that raised a daughter around her age and giving encouragement that her parents will hopefully come around soon. Not sure where my messaging went off the rails for your comment to question my intention but here we are.

[@purpleskies1709]

As much as I admire the transparency, I really can't see how posting about all of thus and sharing so many relationship details is healthy or indicative of anything normal. Just like how couples with the most troubles typically are the ones showing off on Instagram, it seems like you're incredibly insecure about all of this and there's more rotting beneath.

[@jcruz2255]

@@purpleskies1709 I'm just giving support and words of encouragement to someone who's having issues with their parents. Being a parent, I thought I'd share my experience with my own kid (which I already mentioned before, we've had varying differences in opinions when it comes to everything and anything). How you got that I'm "incredilby insecure" and "instagram" has more to do with you and your perception than my comment basically (and literally) telling Dooby to hang in there.

[@woopsiedaisies]

@@purpleskies1709 how do you manage to judge someone as insecure off of only one comment?

[@niknaks8]

"There is a fine line between control and guidance." I am Asian too and I feel you 🥺 I am 26 and I know that I am a responsible person and at the right age already but sometimes it's so hard whenever I try to explain my point of view to mom (especially about religious beliefs, my personal relationships, stereotypes, values, etc.) without having her guilt trip me with why I think that way and play the "back in my time" card 😭 It just sucks. Expected to take on adult responsibilities, yet still treated like a kid.

[@nickygrubs4877]

I feel you on that. My views and perception is way different from what they grew up to

[@clelia4660]

That last sentence is exactly what I’m living with my mom right now. It’s so frustrating.

[@ojaswitatoppo5306]

Bro, this guilt trip is the universal trick card that every Asian, South-Asian family has .. I am only two years younger than you but we still face the same stuff.

[@ojaswitatoppo5306]

Rules get changed as per their convenience.

[@halosemua2548]

@@ojaswitatoppo5306 and south east asian

[@2hearts1seoul]

Absolutely loved this vlog. Your openness and vulnerability is so refreshing, and it’s such an important conversation as well. So proud of you that you put your foot down and are making choices and living the life that is most fulfilling and suitable for YOU. You were dead on when you said ‘there is a fine line between guidance and control’. Your parents’ idea of ‘what is best for you’ does not necessarily equal your idea of what is best for you. Hopefully they will realize this soon and come around ❤️

[@felixmak1712]

Wait until you are a parent! 🤣 Naw you live your life kid! Smash through barriers and love. ❤️

[@ennigmaa]

Always want the comfort, safety and wealth from “different generation and different way of thinking” awww. And “he is so different “ what is that a good thing now? A chimpanzee is “different “ too. So? Just admit you are yet another Asian with white fetish and he likely has yellow fever. Don’t try so hard to sound deep.

[@atwntennisclub]

This hit home way too hard. I'm crying. There are millions of us all over the world going through almost exactly the same as you so thank you so much for telling your story on your platform. Maybe one Asian parent will see this and it might spark change in them that will help out a fellow dooby. Thanks again Tina, this took balls ✊

[@norpriest521]

@@Dr.SmegmaJones She's lesbian or some shit?

[@tccandler]

Classic -- The folly and romanticism of youth -vs- The experience and cynicism of age. True wisdom comes when you realize that what is right for you now, will likely not be right for you in the future... and you are okay with that and will cross that bridge when you learn the lessons you need to learn. You cannot be told a lesson.

[@hannah_li]

"there's a fine line between control and guidance" - felt this on so many levels btw, we're happy that you're happy :)

[@KMBHHS]

Same here

[@lucyrathbone9582]

" there's a fine line between controll and guidence" - spoke to me in so many ways. Thankyou as always Tina, and I'm so happy your happy, you deserve to do the best for you.

[@AlexCooper35]

Me and my partner are also from 2 different worlds. And she being the only child it was hard at first but thankfully both mine and her parents understood and support us. I really hope your family comes to reality and see that you're genuinely happy, fingers crossed for you my dude :)

[@khalilahd.]

Love this 💛

[@lisssmall4669]

Just want to send you a word of encouragement. I was once in a similar situation. My parents completely disapproved of my boyfriend, who was working construction & retail and didn't have a college degree. They couldn't see that he *did* have enormous respect for and belief in me. We were long distance, too, for the first 3.5 years of our relationship. It got so bad that I wasn't sure if my parents were going to come to the wedding. That was 20 years ago last month. We have an amazing marriage & life together and my parents eventually came around! It took many years of them observing my happiness and the way he treats me. Some people really are worth the fight. Much love and luck to you.

[@mariamaria2751]

Funny how parents think that he's not good enough for you...maybe your parents should have stopped to think maybe you are not good enough for him ...see how absurd and insulting that is. Image how that made him feel and image parents thinking they are better humans that another human over a fing degree. That story is disgusting all around .. bunch of ppl owe your husband a huge apology

[@bernsbruce2340]

As an Asian guy who literally went through the same thing with the person I loved(me in the place of your boyfriend in my scenario), this hits hard. I still wish to this day that my former partner fought for me even when her family was all discouraging her. They never really got the chance to know me well enough to make an educated decision. It's just one of those things that are incredibly difficult to let go.

[@paulwilliamgoyeneche6494]

I feel you man, the woman loved didn't fight for our relationship as well since it was long distance. Irks me to this day, though I'm happy it didn't work out since alot has come to light now.

[@patricialuize]

:

[@rayquaza056]

As a person with Asian background, I know exactly what you’re talking about. Going through the same exact thing. I understand the toll, the blame you feel for yourself, the guilt. You keep doing what makes you happy. You keep living for what you believe in. Become the best part of yourself you can. Your heart is true and only time will tell when things will align again.

[@Kooshvibes]

when your gut is telling you it's worth fighting for, things will work out eventually. sending my love and positivity (that we all know you already have lol) to both of you!

[@pygmychimp]

If you haven’t noticed from the comments but we’re all proud of you. My spouse’s father had the same problem with me but here we are 27 years later and still going strong.

[@bbmmbbmm7851]

AWESOME!!! 😁👍

[@Skyscrapers1]

Beautiful bro👍

[@kcet1948]

I have never seen you eaten so much. Must b love in the air.

[@Elle-eq4hy]

having seen a glimpse of the love you have for your mom and vice-versa, this breaks my heart for you

[@Theo-1984]

I feel for you. - I really do. My mother has been very controlling all my life. I am 38 now and I've followed mostly "what is good for me". This has left me unable to make important decisions in life. Our families may be right in many things they tell us, but we have to remind ourselves that this is OUR life and if we don't follow what we decide to do we loose control or may start blaming others for the things that do not go right in life. In life we're bound to disappoint our parents in many ways, mainly because they have expectations based on their (unsatisfying) life experience. In their life they have developed their own core values (i.e. security, stability) based on what they went through in life. We have had different life experiences and also thanks to the stable life our own parents have provided us with we have a different set of core values. If we do not satisfy our own values and needs our life will be deeply dissatisfying.

[@aerynertia6155]

This comment really struck a chord in me. I’m almost 29 but most (more like ALL) of the major decisions in my life was made for me by my parents, my dad especially. And now, I don’t know what I want for myself and is constantly second guessing everything. I don’t even have a proper goal or vision for myself. I keep thinking, “What will become of me when they’re gone?” Anyway, I just hope you’re doing good, internet stranger. May things fall into place for us :)

[@Theo-1984]

@@aerynertia6155 Hello internet stranger, I'm glad my message touched you. I hope you find the courage in yourself to change and not wait like me until the bitter end. At the end of 2018 my father lost conciousness during his holidays in Thailand. Soon after he received chemotherapy and ultimately died in 2020, one month before his granddaughter, my niece, was born. At that time I was working for him (not happy at all), but this situation also took away my safety net and forced me to change. At the end of 2019 after receiving a few weeks of coaching lessons I felt like I had finally found a way out of the labyrinth. I discovered that I have skills that others value and I overlooked and I had to reevaluate my "wasted time" working for my father. But then covid happend and it took another coaching session to realize that "job coaching" is what I want to do right now. I can help people in simular situations like me. So I took online classes to get some necessary qualifications and just started work last thursday. My life is a work in progress - like anyone's I imagine. Without having taken so long I would not have developed an understanding of what it means to be jobless and helpless. Some would say I've failed in life. The pay certainly is not very good in social jobs, but I am happy not to be part of the rat race. We will see what happens next.... yeah tomorrow's job qualification exam.. gotta go. All the best stranger!

[@ausong84]

While all our experiences are unique, this video resonates. It was a similar experience when I started dating with my own Korean parents who took some time and their own process to get onboard. Years later I’m married to a man that took the journey to get to and one might even say my parents like him more than me! It’ll work out- your parents’ love will prove truer than their initial disagreement. Stay true to who you are!

[@jyc313]

I’ve been on both sides. My ex’s family didn’t like me because I wasn’t Chinese and therefore assumed I wouldn’t be able to understand their culture. On another occasion, my parents were dismayed that I didn’t bring home a Korean gf thinking she wouldn’t understand our culture, language, mannerisms, etc. In any case, after years they’ve come around. Right now I’m engaged to a woman that isn’t Korean and they couldn’t be more happier and supportive. I think you brought up some great points. Parents simply want their children to have a good, secure, safe life - and much of that, to them, relies on finding a partner of similar background, culture, upbringing. In their minds, there is a higher risk of disappointment if one was to be partnered w/ someone from a different culture. While that isn’t exactly 100% wrong, our parents’ opinions in the end, are their’s alone. I think as long as we show our parents that we are confident in our life’s decisions and can forge ahead despite what life throws at the us, it’ll make them rest a bit easier. So even if let’s say things don’t work out between you two, show that it was a valuable experience to you, and that you took something away from it. Lastly, parents are also just humans.. with all the flaws that come along with it. I think you showed maturity by understanding where they are coming from. Also.. I’m sure you don’t need encouragement in this arena… but don’t listen to the haters on IG or KZbin. There are way too many young folks on social media being harmed by bullies, it’s just not worth getting worked up about. In the end, this life is your’s and your’s alone.. be selfish about it. We’re simply along for the ride on this platform you graciously opened yourself up on. Cheers, and thanks for all the great videos.

[@noobbotgaming2173]

I had a difficult time with my ancestry when I was younger. My grandparents never had a problem with who my parents and uncles and aunts dated/married. I have a mix of Asian aunts and uncles and white aunts and uncles and my extended family never had any trouble with anyone's lineage. But when I got older I saw a lot people of Asian descent didn't have parents/grandparents that accepted non-Asian romantic significant others. Almost out of a fear that they'll "pollute their identity and bloodline." I also, to this day experience, didn't have an easy time to ask many Asian girls out because I don't know any Chinese dialect. And their parents think I'm strange because I can't understand Cantonese or Mandarin or anything despite my ancestry. People should be proud of their heritage. But I don't understand why people equate two different people in a romantic relationship to corruption.

[@ilovejeffhardy3906]

Well said! 😭💖

[@amutolovers97]

Incredibly well said! Thank you for sharing. 😁

[@purpleskies1709]

As much as I admire the transparency, I really can't see how posting about all of thus and sharing so many relationship details is healthy or indicative of anything normal. Just like how couples with the most troubles typically are the ones showing off on Instagram, it seems like you're incredibly insecure about all of this and there's more rotting beneath.

[@imnotsure4864]

Honest question, i just want to learn, im a southeast asian. I feel like our cultures here (thailand, malaysia, singapore,indonesia) are all so mixed and similar. I dont get how marrying/dating a chinese when you're a korean means you'd struggle with their culture or vice versa? Isnt the chinese, taiwanese, korean, japanese culture very similar and mixed cause geographically is very nearby?

[@dhanvvvii]

Its funny the way you have portrayed is so soothing but being an Asian, and also faced the brutality of having controlling parents as never been this resonating. I wish more strength to you because at the end whoever has to make a choice of family vs love there's always this invisible guilt or a feeling that is unspoken off. All the best 👍

[@alex2812]

This vlog made me cry. It's awful that you're going through all this hardship with your family. But you look so happy and I'm glad that you choose your happiness about someones elses. We doobies wil support you no matter what!

[@marianne-p]

I am loving the heartfelt stories in your comment section! We have very similar situations, which is why I'm afraid to even mention my partner's background to my parents. In time, things will fall into place for everyone. I feel that your parents will see it too (speaking from someone who has had very difficult, hurtful convos with my mom). Stick with your happiness! Lots of love and support to you and ☂ man.

[@rigor_ii-i]

My therapist is back. I love a Doobydobap vlog. It’s relaxing and refreshing for the soul and mind

[@wkejnwelfvnwklnv]

100% agree

[@Doobydobap]

kiss mwah

[@ggleonel5173]

Love u my dooba 😍😘@@Doobydobap

[@hyunbinkwon575]

totally agree!!! i recently discovered her and subscribed right away i love her all the contents❤️❤️

[@khalilahd.]

No but seriously 💛

[@kaysstay6586]

두비! 사랑에 빠진 거 축하해요! 아직 한글 자막이 없어서 모든 말들을 100% 이해하지는 못했지만 소중한 사람을 만나게 된 거 넘넘 축하해요! 시간이 약이라고 말한 거처럼 언젠가 엄마아빠도 두비 행복한 모습에 분명히 행복해지실 거에요! 응원해요 ♥

[@eggytoasty_]

Me: the momento has come. Tina: shows everyone the scenes, like a movie. I'm gonna support Tina how matter what, I'm into food and she has inspire me since I've found her (almost 2yrs ago already hehe). I'm rooting for you Tina, Hfighting! AND YEES DOOBY DOO!

[@malaikasheikh1495]

As fellow belonging to a desi Asian household I can relate to the things you have to go thru with your parents it’s just hard but I hope things work out for you. You taking a step for yourself has inspired me a lot. Thank you for sharing your personal experience with us. Wish the best

[@japduyen9526]

I truly understand how you feel so connected with him. Before I met my current boyfriend, I didn’t expect to find someone who loves food more than me. My boyfriend and I compromised so well with each other because we both love a certain things in the meal. For example, I love dessert so I know all about good desserts spots, he loves appetizers and drinks so he knows all about those spots. So it turned out to be a whole 3 course meal whenever we went on a date night. I can see how happy you were w ☂ man and I hope your family will be able to put their pride aside and see how happy you are right now :)

[@tslureeeeee]

We love a Dooby vlog Whose with me 🙋‍♀️ edit: you got us Dooby dont be scared to come out to us about your problems we love you and care about you and your mental health.

[@Kit-Kat4L]

Me😊

[@bearsrk]

Not gonna lie I’m really thankful for this vlog, thank you for letting us be part of such as personal and vulnerable moment for you. I’m sorry for the mean people commenting. However, I understand the situation you’re going through is difficult to meet others expectations while trying looking for the best for you. Hope your family understands and things get better!

[@NathiRV]

I haven’t finished the video yet, just wanted to say that I was in your exact situation. I followed my gut and my husband and I have been together for 21 years. My parents learned to love him and understand why I loved him. It was very tough at the beginning for the same reasons you listed. Follow your gut, your instinct and things will be fine 🧡🧡

[@anahiimeza]

Just catching up in your vlog life here, and crazy how I just saw this in [almost] an exact one year period of time. And it makes me so happy that you’ve been following your heart (🧀 I know) and accomplishing the dreams you and Kevin saw that no one else did. Keep killing it xx

[@PeachSweetxo]

I am so Ducking happy for you! Period, it takes guts, balls and heart to pursue what others find odd or confusing. I am a creative writer and a black woman so in my own similar (though not the same) way I understand choosing what parents from especially POC communities do not first approve. My family said hell no, but God blessed them to come around and I pray that your family will come around to your new Love too ::)

[@p797ooja]

He’s so different but we complement each other in so many ways- 🙂☺️ that’s how I describe me and my boyfriend. I’m from India and he’s from Ukraine. So different from cultures and backgrounds.In the end, we make each other so happy where we even enjoy learning about each other’s cultures. Love Is always worth fighting for- isn’t that what life is all about. 🙂 you’ll get through this alright. I send you strength. The different backgrounds and experiences make us a stronger team as we face this world together and I’m sure you both feel the same. I’m so excited for you ♥️

[@gayathriganga1273]

Go girl

[@hughjnus4256]

Cringe racemixer, do better

[@pavithras1146]

Damnnn there are more indians who watch her than i thought!

[@BestSomebodyNA]

@@hughjnus4256 🎣

[@DebbieMariz]

What I admire most about you in this situation: you completely understand where your parents are coming from. It’s okay to disagree with them, we live in a different time and space. I hope they see how he’s been good to you. xx dooby

[@f9nineteen]

Aww this is so cute! As an Asian kid with similar family background, I always say that nothing could ever come between me and my parents. I have lived my entire life to please to them. So I understand the pain and difficulty you are going through right now. But you are right, some things are worth fighting for. We’re young and we deserve to be happy (and have our freedom too). Hopefully, they will come around 🥺💖 wishing you all the best!!!

[@keviniraheta4078]

Girl, I started following you 2 days ago. A blind person could see how special you are. The beauty of life is bringing all the different cultures together and embracing it. The trick to it is accepting what you can, and being okay with what you can’t. Takes a lot to be able to do that. I wish nothing but the best for you and your SO and I honestly hope your family will be happy with you going forward!

[@rthoath]

I resonate so well with the last few lines 🥹 thank you for sending warmth thru my way!! Very happy for you finding love ❤️

[@victoriabartolome8785]

I really know what you're going through, because I went through the same thing hahaha 😔. I come from a Filipino immigrant family who moved to Brazil and when they found out I was dating a guy who wasn't rich they freaked out. It was difficult at first, but over time they accepted him, especially after meeting him in person. Know that you are not alone and that everything will get better eventually! I wish you all the luck in the world and much happiness in your new relationship, you deserve it so much!

[@1llest8]

Fala pro cara ganha mais dinheiro.

[@OohpreddynailsAngie]

These last two vlogs have been like episodes of a well directed miniseries. Beautifully done!

[@kanaksingh3396]

I can only imagine the emotional turmoil that must have been through before taking this decision. But you know what, it will all work out at the end, like it has always been. Real doobies are proud of you for staying real and vulnerable here and being a fucking strong one. You go gurl!! ❤️

[@iriscv3261]

You look so happy it’s so nice to see. It’s super tough making those decisions especially when it involves your own family, it’s not easy to navigate in or out of, you’re handling it with such grace and maturity I truly respect your courage and heart. Your family will always be there, maybe not now but it’s okay, this time you’ve given yourself a chance for your choices and you are thriving. Love your content, can’t wait to see more in the doobydoobop future. ❤️

[@ambercko]

Tina, this is why I love your videos so much - not only the funny moments, the beautiful montages, but also your real and raw thoughts... your honesty makes your content one of the most relatable I've ever seen on the internet. I'm so happy to hear your good news and sending you tons of love and support 🤍

[@jjenori4500]

the fact that you called your parents ‘ my family ‘ rather than ‘ my parents ‘ is a really big deal for me, it simply shows that no matter how you struggle to understand each other you still think of them as your family. i will pray for you and your family, i am happy for you ms. tina !! your happiness, your comfort, that’s what all that matters.

[@chizleseashells968]

Being able to find your happiness after you've been in a dark place is really inspiring. I can feel your bliss dooby. Thanks for this one 💓

[@isabelle_S]

I feel like everything is coming full circle, thanks for the advice and honesty 😊

[@isabelle_S]

Also flash backs to the vlog where you said u didn’t want someone who cooked

[@Guapogiboy]

@@isabelle_S she contradicts herself a lot and she has admitted to this hehe... don't we all?

[@isabelle_S]

@@Guapogiboy ikr

[@fernandarochha]

You deserve nothing but happiness. It’s hard to have relationships where your family isn’t quite on the same track as you are. But your judgement and capability of love should be bigger than any other bitter times. We doobies support you ♥️

[@ericfaustine]

As a fellow only child, I ended up choosing my family. It was a 4 years struggle. I thought I could make my family understand, but at the end, it hurts more seeing my mom's disappointed face. Perhaps I can relate on how you contradicting yourself all the time. I really enjoy your vlog and so happy you can find your own way living life. Stay cool and eat a lot!

[@Lilyium]

Same here, ended a 3.5 year relationship for my parents and I don't regret it. It wasn't working out for us and my parents just saw that earlier and tried to warn me but I was blinded. I'm glad I'm out of that and now I still have my family who is here for me, they're not forever as nothing is, but the present makes me feel content.

[@lucid9637]

That’s so fucking toxic and tragic tho. Your family LITERALLY standing in your way making u miserable

[@franz3810]

toxic af

[@Feddydeffy]

Such a good message. Some people are worth fighting for you just need the experience to recognize what your priorities are. I have a master's degree and a higher education and my boyfriend of 4 years is a soldier, he hasnt been to college but he is one of the smartest and kindest people I've ever met, but being in a circle of people going to IV league schools and stuff, they all think I deserve ''better''. I am so glad youre giving this a shot because you'd rather try and fail than regret never trying, and it takes courage to do so. You go girl!

[@kiarracassie]

I am in a similar situation as yours, I'm afraid he'd get rejected by my family.

[@Feddydeffy]

@@kiarracassie I wish you the best girl, I hope you are wrong and your family will be open to it. It is a scary situation feels like both of your worlds might just crash but you gotta be optimistic and if one side puts pressure on u to choose a side that is toxic behavior, life is not black and white! Good luck w everything

[@PermanentHigh]

You need to tell these people that you don't need their opinions because I PROMISE you, the moment u have a problem with your boyfriend EVERYTHING they've been saying about him that's been piling up in your head is gonna come rushing in and you're gonna make a stupid decision based on it. Either you distance yourself from them and find other friends or you prepare for the inevitable

[@Feddydeffy]

@@PermanentHigh This is so true, and I already did stupid things, thankfully I could open my eyes and my boyfriend was loving and understanding enough to make this work, because it is worth fighting for

[@PermanentHigh]

@@Feddydeffy What stupid things did you do? You cheated I bet and he doesn't know

[@kellykang2684]

I relate to this on so many levels Doobs. I have dated both, someone who is vastly different but I’ve also never felt so accepted and loved and my other boyfriend was so called, as you’ve said, conventionally good enough for me to date. Graduated from Oxford, was going to a lawyer. I loved them both, if I dare say, the “to be lawyer” more. But I dug in deep into why I loved him and so much of that came from the feeling I felt from my parents’ approval. Due to my speculation that this was the right person that MY parents wanted me to end up with, I allowed behaviours that would make anyone deeply upset. Life lessons learnt and it’s okay if it doesn’t work out at the end or maybe it will. If your parents approve of him/her or not. If your friends like them or not. If their job is high paying or not. All these are challenges we have to work through as we pick our partner. If you are deeply, truly satisfied and fulfilled to be with this person and that is what you feel AT THAT MOMENT, that’s all you can ever do. Finding love and truth is a courageous and it sometimes is utterly painful but ultimately it will liberate you. Xoxo Dooby. Sorry to write a huge rant/paragraph. So much love!

[@ishikajaiswal4735]

[@janeosun]

wow this is so beautiful. thank you for sharing ❣️

[@table4281]

What I love about Tina is how unafraid she is to be so open and vulnerable to us doobies. Something I’ve noticed about her is how sentimental and profound her relationships are despite the changes and successes that happen in the other aspects of her life. I have noticed this about her in her friendships (such as those with her high school friends and with Audrey!) and now her partner, she always values what people have on the inside and stands by them. It warms my heart so much seeing someone like that. Despite the criticism she’s had in the past, Tina has never had bad intentions and is truly an amazing and warm person who always tries to grow and learn. Despite always growing, she never abandons those she loves. Your relationship with your family is so beautiful Tina, and it is able to withstand this, there will always be highs and lows. I hope things can be sorted out between you and your family soon Dooby ❤️

[@tsewang_tenzin]

I applaud you for being so transparent especially in front of a camera among thousands of people online. All the doobies support u and we have nothing but love for u :))

[@soaaap.mp4]

i resonate as a fellow asian who's feisty as hell with borderline controlling parents (whom im very close with too!) you deserve great happiness dooby! thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your story

[@satokoborromeo7502]

I can relate as an only child, who now is adapting to living independently for about 3 years, but people who truly loves us will be the one who shall understand that we, only childs, are the only person who they can trust to make our own lives good and happy as they hope it to be. Happy of your brave heart. Love and light, dooby 💗

[@huiae]

there's something so surreal about Dooby's vlog that calms anyone ❤️

[@giaanil7342]

why are people showing hate man the fact that she’s showing us the man she loves just shows how much she loves the community here WHY THE HATE MAN

[@eunnice67]

Jealousy presents itself in a million ways 🤷‍♀

[@bestfunnycompilations9892]

we don't support colonization

[@jimrogers2756]

He has a wedding ring on

[@slee2695]

His looks

[@oliviacatherine6880]

I am proud of you for going after what you want and following your heart. If you are happy with this man then that is all that matters. Its tough when family doesn't support your decisions but one day they will come around. I hope that whatever the rest of this year brings you and further on in the future that its nothing but joys and laughter. And that you create wonderful memories with the one you love

[@rhi7513]

Honestly it doesn’t seem like you’re understanding your parents perspective and your Q&A about privilege shows you don’t grasp the conflict is with class not generation. Your parents didn’t grow up with money and despite you saying they told you what to do and what schools to go to, you don’t see how much they were willing to sacrifice to make sure you never had to experience the hardships they had to go through (no good parent wants to send their kid off at 9 years old). It’s not right of them to judge that your partner doesn’t have a degree, but it feels less like you’re actually addressing their trauma/anxieties and moreso blaming it on culture and generational differences. You went to London to be with your ex and your family were the ones to help you pick up the pieces in the aftermath. You struggled to find a job and got lucky with becoming a content creator. It’s a high burn out job with a lot of creatives leaving after a few years or getting more reliant on other sources of income. But even then, you’ve never mentioned your parents judging that. In their heads, they’re doing their own calculus as to how stable your career is, how much you’ll need support, how much your partner will need support, and the longevity of this…your case isn’t great especially if you’ve based on “we haven’t known each other long, but we’re in love/we’re happy”. In your Q&A, you said you were so down you were blind to your own privileges and in my experience, it’s something your parents notice. And while recognizing this is a first step, that kind of thinking really demonstrates a lack of life experience. You’re probably not going to read this and your fans will shrug this off as me being negative or “not understanding how controlling Asian parents are” (ironically my parents are Asian and significantly more controlling). But I grew up similarly to you: growing up my parents had to struggle as their parents were refugees, but my dad made it big in the US. He gave me the life he wanted and was very strict about my career. We fought endlessly because I pursued my passions. He turned the tide when he saw how I was able to turn my passion into a stable career. It’s how I came to understand him, his anxieties, and his own past. Your parents also probably realize financial issues are one of the biggest drivers of divorce/relationship strife. The stress and trauma of growing up impoverished with their parents who had to experience war isn’t something you can just take lightly. It’s not like this is coming from nowhere and while I’ll never know the full extent of your conversation with them, you really don’t seem to take all of this into account by calling them “traditional”. Kids shouldn’t play therapist for their parents nor should they do whatever their parents want regardless of their own happiness, but adult children should understand reach a point of understanding and collaboration with them. (Obviously this isn’t universal as children who grow up with abusive parents have a different experience and I don’t blame any of them for going no contact)

[@kiwipops]

Honestly this is 100% true, and I'm glad you said it tbh

[@tinatp6381]

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

[@oruspicarous1112]

Fully agree. Parents are looking at the long-term game. She will be subsidising the relationship forever. Prospects for someone without a degree are becoming slimmer by the day, even in Western countries. In this video itself, she is seen driving an Audi which her BF can most likely not afford for a long time. She's been accustomed to this very high luxurious standard of living, which is not sustainable without a lot of money. In the newer vlog she even planned an ad-hoc trip to Europe. This will never be possible for her BF.

[@rhi7513]

@@oruspicarous1112 Yeah even if he makes it big as a celebrity chef…it’s still a super high risk industry with COVID and monkeypox now making it worse. Hours are rough and he’ll have few options to transition out of this work should it become a problem for them. And you’re right about lifestyle, she’s always had ultra rich friends (that I guess are wealthier than her because she’s always complaining about them). Cornell is by no means an affordable school, but it’s telling how even in college where there are at least a chunk of middle to low income students she managed to surround herself with rich people. She’s really going to struggle with letting go of some luxuries. What’s she actually really ready to give up?

[@pinktoebeans]

She’s too spoilt and self/centred to be able to see the big picture; her vlogs over the past 12 months have shown us that. She’s immature and will have to learn the hard way. She will burn this bridge with her parents but return the prodigal daughter because her family loves her so much and will always take her back. Watch this space.

[@leesharg]

Finally a KZbinr I can relate to. I see all these KZbinrs that have wonderful relationships with their families which I could never relate to, but I’ve never had that. My parents were never there for me and I never received any love or support from them, just criticism and reasons why I’m not enough. Thank you for being honest about your family and I hope you know you’re not the only one💜

[@brozors]

The difference is that she still benefits a lot from her parents’ income. Check out the international trips, fancy apartment, and even the expensive meal at the end of this video with her new boyfriend.

[@kunjuuu2]

*Mama dooby is just like any other asian parent :* *"I shall settle for nothing but the best for my child"* We do understand ❤️🙂 Hoping that they come long 🤞

[@seulgisbaguette1543]

And when they feel something against the partners of their children, they’re usually right about it. Time will tell. But still happy for Dooby.

[@kunjuuu2]

@@seulgisbaguette1543 chances are high..... But for growing up , you need to make mistakes in life Hoping that this is the right choice and hope it makes her really happy🫰

[@Youwh00]

"There is a fine line between control and guidance" - so true...Love you Dooby.

[@hellorayoflight6006]

Hey Tina,i just want to leave a comment saying your videos have been so comforting for me, i'am having my chemotherapy every week so I'm not really fit to go out or socialise much,i love your little jokes,your awkwardness and love seeing you cook, always looking forward for your videos ❤️

[@Dhilan100]

At the end of the day you are living your life and no one should tell you how to live it. Also the whole attraction towards someone who's from a different backgroud, has always been a touchy topic for asians but it's always great to see people like you standing your ground and hopefully it becomes the norm. Life is too short.

[@JanZamani]

I really hope you don't feel pressure to share every personal detail about your life on here. Mental health is really important and I can imagine how hard it can be sharing your life out there to millions. What I mean is, I hope you stay well and put your own wellbeing first!

[@tanishamohanty2668]

thank you so much for sharing this. I also feel that my parents can be over controlling and it's true there is a fine line between guidance and control and when it gets over controlling it gets really hard for us. i've experienced the exact same thing as you except i'm a lot younger and live under their roof. my parents haven't talk to me for over a month because of this and i'm so devastated. i too love my parents a lot and they too have sacrificed a lot for me..but at the same time it's hard to give up on the person you love 😞😞...it's nice to see another person experience the same difficulties as you. love you dooby♥️♥️♥️ it'll all be okay with time :)

[@aliceong2496]

You are still very young. Don't think too much. You really won't know who eventually walk down the aisle with you

[@dayeounmoon302]

Usually hate vlogs but decided to watch yours and I loved every second of it. Glad you are choosing your happiness and standing your ground. Hope I run into you while I’m in still here

[@itsfrancescamarie]

Felt a heaviness in my heart as your situation hits too close to home for me. As someone in a similar situation, growing up in a traditional Asian household I'm really struggling between the balance between keeping being on good terms with my parents as I continue to love and respect them for all they have given me, however it has taken a toll on my happiness and my relationship with my long term partner (and my parents still are grasping at the fact I'm even in a long term relationship). It is super tough however I hope in due time things will be okay for you in the long run, as I am happy to see you choosing you and your happiness at the moment! All the love and support to you !!

[@itsgoldenaj]

thank you for sharing this with us ;-; been struggling if i should commit to a ldr knowing my family would disapprove since they are more conservative. growing up in a Filipino household, family to me is always #1 but it's a hard decision between meeting their expectations or being with someone who makes me happy. your vlogs are always so relaxing and inspiring

[@srle.unkown]

i grew up in a VERY conservative (half asian) family. your situation is so relatable to me. when i first came out as lesbian my parents were so angry. i was sent to therapy, i couldnt go out of the house alone etc. i'm 26 and very happily engaged to the woman of my dreams. my parents are (albeit slowly) coming around to the fact that their only daughter is part of the lgbt community. when you're with your partner in this footage you are glowing, i can feel your happiness through the screen. i followed my heart and the person i love and it's the best decision i ever made. dooby, i know how hard it is to fight with family. but just remember that YOUR happiness is more important than anyone elses.

[@mrygrcsmsn5055]

I am not an avid fan but I have watched your "mini vlogs" many times and I am glad you have your own channel now. I felt sad but as an Asian I understand where you are coming from.. I love the cenematic intro and how you came up with your content ideas.. simple yet full of stories.. I find it more as an art..' same but different' ....you are cool..just follow your heart and be happy❤️💗❤️

[@chloeakka]

I only discovered your channel yesterday and I just want to say that your videos bring me so much comfort

[@bdespotovic93]

I simply fell in love with this video. You found a love at emptiest times, struggling to make it out due to disagreeable family yet you’re facing all of those obstacles and not giving up on love. That is amazing. When I started watching your videos, you were annoying for some reason, but there was something I liked about you and content you are making so I gave it a chance. Here I am, watching at least one video you made, a day. And it is beautiful and unique. Love from Serbia!

[@_.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-._]

You are not alone in this, i was in a relationship with a chinese for 5 years, it ended beacause of the stress and expectations of her family towards our relationship. As long as YOU are happy and make it work it shouldnt be a problem, and i know that it is hard especially if you are the only child, but remember that it is YOUR life at the end of the day.

[@my_alibi]

That takes a lot of strength, good for you!! Hopefully time heals but keep unapologetically chasing your happiness.

[@janetnievarez608]

Tina, I want to let you know I am proud of you! As someone who has gone through similar trials (Filipina-American with immigrant parents), I understand those challenges. I’ve been with someone for 7 years and my parents JUST recently accepted my life choices. This takes time, and your persistent to be authentic and true to what gives you joy, is what truly makes a life worth living. Your acknowledgement (and acceptance) of where your parents are coming from shows immense maturity from your end. Much love from the states

[@midobrido6447]

thank you so much for sharing your story, i could not relate more right in this moment. I am sending your a billion hugs, for every moment you did not get one from your family.

[@annie1112]

I'm moving to a new state by myself and I'll be in a different time zone, thousands of miles away but your videos give me comfort and relieve me of my anxiety as well. I wish you the best, always.

[@jadamorrison1135]

You look so at peace rn! And I love how you guys make the long distance work. Not many couples do and not many are willing to make it work. You give me hope that there are people in this world that worth fighting for. I hope someone can do this for me one day

[@tishy]

Tina, sending you so much healing and love. I’ve gone through the same thing when I was 21 (28 now). I’m now married with a kid to the man my family were against. But, my parents love him now. My parents felt hurt initially, but they had to work through it. They had to open their minds a bit, be more progressive. Xoxo wishing you the best

[@venesselle]

I really admire you so much. I am an Asian to, I know what it feels. As I was a kid I always don't trust and have so much doubts on myself, yeah because of my parents like they always makes me feel that I am worthless even if I try my best. I am still struggling to love my self more and I want to thank you because you inspire me to be who I am and start to believe myself. Love you dooby💗💗💗, You are the best. I hope that every hardships you encounter will makes you more stronger. Keep inspiring us❤️

[@winterbear3796]

Love the song Ruby Sparks. Thank you for introducing to this beautiful song. Cheering for you Dooby and your happiness. Every single word you say resonates with me and its okay to trust your guts some time. At the end your happiness matters. Keep being you.

[@chloexu3058]

Tina I’m beyond words to admire your courage to be so vulnerable to share this hard situation of your life to way. This video definitely hit home for you. I was literally in your situation 3 three years ago. Like you said “ time is only the remedy” it’s so true! Hang in there - this all shall pass. Love will be the ultimate answer!!! Sending so much love and support your way!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@bootifulchimmy3097]

I totally agreed with the parents are sometimes controlling bc thats literally my parents rn. Now that im adult i realized how sheltered and gatekeeped i am from the real world. :( Anw im genuinely happy for you and for fighting your happiness/love. ♡ thank you for sharing this to us...

[@_dearolive]

Tina, absolutely love how relatable you are 🥹💕 fell in love with your story telling and personality!! ❤️

[@keystring]

I am honestly happy for you that you find someone you really like :) hope things will work out for you!

[@EmmyBoons]

I totally understand how it feels when your parents give you ultimatums like that. A mindset that always help me is to remember that our parents can only love us as deeply as they have loved themselves. Sometimes it's hard for them to change their ideas about how life should look like, they've been believing it for 50+ years. It can be scary for them to change their perspectives because that might mean re-evaluating their self-worth and life's belief. I hope they will come around soon and you're both able to agree to disagree with love. Sending you so much love Tina!

[@travypattyy]

As a fellow member of an asian household I too, understand the fear of disappointing your family when your values don’t align. Eventually you’ll figure it out and hopefully I figure my issues out too but like you said time is the only remedy. Much love Tina! Hang in there ❤️

[@ramosjanoah6686]

OMG, I really feel you about the 'over-controlling parents'. I am from Southeast Asian country and I moved to Edinburgh all by myself, but after live almost 2 years in Edinburgh, my mom still vidcalls me every day, wondering when I will come home. She does it with passive-aggresive trick that ended-up makes me not feel good about myself, like abandoning my family, while I am actually just want to experienced everything in life more. Both parents also do passive-aggresive trick to make me have to marry a person from the same 'tribe', which limiting my options. Well, I am not totally disappointed with them, but I just want them to be have a life outside their children and not putting their expectation on their child.

[@yummyj3393]

I watched this video with my daughter who is going through the same thing as you. She & I both agreed with most of what you said, but sadly from opposite experiences. My thoughts must be similar to your parents (especially your mom's since I am a dentist too!) because I only want what is best for my daughter and that she will have an easier life with an educated man that will have more opportunities because of that education. My daughter left her home in California to go to uni in the UK and it has been extremely hard for us to let her live her life so far away, gain independence, and make mistakes. Every step of the way I just want to help her avoid all of the mistakes in her life that I know that she is taking. But, I know that without those mistakes she will never learn and never grow as a person. As you age, you realize that all of those experiences, good & bad, are what shape your life and that they will hopefully help you learn to accept the bad with the good and to accept the choices you have made. My mother was initially against me marrying my husband because he does not come from an educated Korean family and she felt that it was shameful that I was marrying beneath her standards and my parents' education level. I had a lot of conflict with my mother all of my life and I always felt like I could never live up to her expectations like my brother. My mother died last year & I do regret that I did not try harder to reconcile with her and try to see her side of things. As my daughter gets older, I realize that my mother's perspective came from a place of love & need to make sure that her child only has the best in life.

[@latehero]

I am a college dropout and a foreigner married to an amazing Korean woman. We have been married for four years and my wife’s family was always very warm and welcoming to me. We were lucky as this is not always the case in Korea. I come from an educated family, but from a different culture where parent’s traditionally have much less control over their children’s lives. Still I am sure it wasn’t always easy for my parents to let me live my life the way I did. However they supported me always no matter how crazy things I was doing. For this I am forever thankful. Eventually I also became much more successful than all my friends who continued their studies. However that didn’t bring any more happiness to our lives. What makes us happy now is the same thing that made us happy before: each other. There are many paths in life and there is a richness to choosing a path less walked. Be happy that your child is brave enough to take on a path with more uncertainty.

[@XGoldenPhoenixX]

@@latehero 💖

[@depduc3615]

Hello Yummy

[@Theo-1984]

The problem seems to be that your mother remained stubborn about her own views. At that point concern seems to conflict with her own pride. I believe parents should be forgiving enough to accept new circumstances and deal with problems as they come along. You can never live your life for your daughter and I respect how you can let her make her own "mistakes". I always prided myself for learning from my parents' mistakes, but one day in my late 30s I realized that I had given up living.

[@souji_ch]

Virtual hugs girl 🤗 Hope you’ll find peace with your family and everything 💜

[@kristinreynolds577]

I have always believed that you meet your person when you’re least expecting it!! That was also my experience with my husband. My family didn’t care for him either at times, but they did see how he treated me and they came around. Don’t force anything with your parents. Give them time to sort out their feelings. They’ll come around! Much love from America 💗💗💗

[@MelonPan2010]

I married "down" as my parents would say. I am more educated, the breadwinner and bought the home that we currently live in. I have been there. You and your parents will find a new equilibrium. It will take time, patience and you and your beloved to have the will to just prove them wrong. You can make it work with both parties... eventually. Take heart Tina. Your beloved staying by your side through this would only prove that he is a good egg for you. Your parents eventual acceptance of your beloved will be a sign of their trust in you. Your job as a daughter is to make them proud, not happy. They will have to choose happy for themselves. As the Chinese would say "add oil!"

[@vidrovzal2418]

I’m not Asian, but I can relate to this. I know that my parents wouldn’t respect my choice, so I’m still single because I don’t want to disappoint them. But is this the right decision ? Sending much love and support ❤️❤️

[@bommiii3]

I went through the same thing. My asian parents weren’t approving of my partner and made my life a living nightmare unless I broke up w him. Needless to say, I moved out and stopped talking to them for a couple of years. But as time goes on, the anger and hatred will fade. Your parents will eventually come to understand you. Remember to put ur needs first! You’re here to write your own story- don’t let anyone take that from you. I wish u all the best ♡

[@urmom-rf1vc]

I guess it’s the same with having the experience with African parents. Sometimes you can’t read their love language to you. But love comes from two ways. You have to talk to them, communicate with them to actually have a closer bond. And one day like you say they’ll come around.

[@sunnyl215]

As a Korean American who went through similar younger lifestyle as you, I totally understand the both you and your family. I was sent to US at age of 16 and went to high-school in America, all by myself. While my mom had a super high expectations out of me, and wanting the similar for the future husband, I married the worst of the men kind but the marriage only lasted 4 years. After 13 years of a struggling single mom, I started dating an American. My parents are in their 70s now and oh boy, talk about being traditional. Fortunately, by the time I started dating my current boyfriend of 10 years, the way my parents thinking changed a lot for better. When they just moved to American in 2006, they were like 'over my dead body' about moving in with a guy before marrying the person, but now they love my current boyfriend. My mom sees how good of a person he is and she sees how good he treats me. Your parents will come around!! Sorry to share my life story on here but I do feel your pain but understand your parents too! *HUGS* from the East Coast of US!!

[@winterbird471]

This made me cry. I can't imagin your pain, having your family expecting you to have a partner with higher education when that has nothing to do with the happiness he can bring you. I'm very lucky to have open-minded parents who accept my boyfriend even though he has not graduated college. They must see how happy I am thanks to him. We have had bad times and they were supportive, forgiving him and letting him improve so we could have a future.

[@mashantha]

Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable part of your life. It is tempting to show only the "highs" on social media. Love your work on KZbin; you have a real gift of storytelling! Thanks for bringing us along on your life journey. Lots of love - a recently converted Doobie :)