Yes Asexuals Have Sex

[@riverchampeimont]

Thanks for helping people understand us aces. Also it's important for us aces to be reminded that we should not feel guilty if we want to still have some sexual interactions even though people would expect us to have 0 sex at all.

[@madelinevlogs5898]

Thanks for posting this! I’m allosexual and I’m dating an asexual person. She likes the physical pleasure and emotional connection of sex. But she usually prefers to meet those needs through cuddling, so sex isn’t a major part of our relationship.

[@ik1437]

She isn’t asexual lmao. Or, the label means nothing.

[@darksmiley5081]

As a demisexual myself, I personally enjoy the emotional connection from sex. Yes, it's a physical need for me too, but it's a way for me and my (hypothetical) partner to love each other in a different way, as I'd put it.

[@missnaomi613]

This was really interesting. One of my kids is ace, as are a few of my friends. I feel like the more I learn, the less likely I am to accidentally say something stupidly inconsiderate, so thanks for the informative content!

[@lalaloopsy8877]

The fact that you're here learning about it is already incredibly supportive!! It's ok to make mistakes because obviously you care a lot and mean well ❤

[@SnowLily06]

You're a great parent

[@slywlf]

I am so glad the young asexuals today have informative and rational option to learn from, such as your channel! I am fast approaching my 70th birthday, and only discovered the Ace spectrum 5 years ago...though I have been living with it without knowing it all my life. It's hard not to feel frustration and regret looking back , at how different my life might have been if only I had known why I felt different. I sure as h*** wouldn't have spent 30 years married just because "that's what women do"! On the other hand, all those years and difficulties made me what I am today, so since there's nothing to be done for it I am simply, belatedly, embracing my newly minted labels and getting on with my life. Keep up the good work, because We Are Legion, and nobody should have to go through what I did simply because of lack of information!😁

[@meredithsalt8397]

I'm 48 and been single this whole time. Had just recently been informed that I might be Ace. Used to believe something was wrong with me. 😢

[@meredithsalt8397]

6:46 I gave into peer pressure of sexual activity. I didn't "get it".

[@that_tikosh]

One of the best arguments against people saying sexual orientations are about who you have sex with imo: So you had no orientation until you had sex for the first time?

[@AlessandraHudson]

If the best argument is an obvious strawman, I can't imagine what other "arguments" you got lol

[@Andreas-gh6is]

I think one of the confusing issues is that "sexual attraction" is entirely different from arousal, libido, or even a desire of stimulation (and satisfaction). If you have learned (or fantasized) that sex will bring you pleasure, you will seek sex, which looks, from the outside like sexual attraction. But asexuals tend to not have this natural urge, and the difference is for example the importance attached to interpersonal sex and things like mental imaging... I have to "work" at picturing sex with someone. Allosexuals often can't stop thinking about that when they see someone they are attracted to.

[@naokaaaa]

I definitely identify as aro but now I'm thinking if I'm actually aroace cause the level of my sexual attraction fluctuates so much and I'm not really sure what controls this variation, I may be demi as well

[@donteatthedaisies]

Good video. That 40% statistic is interesting. Tacking on to the curiosity thing, there's probably a fair number of asexual people who have sex in an effort to figure out if they are, in fact, asexual.

[@evarinagarmguardian113]

As an ace-spec (also aro-spec, but not the point here), I watch certain adult content and I never really care who's involved so long as they perform a certain action. Glad to know I'm not as rare as I initially thought!

[@RichardGaudry-uz2bt]

Commenting in part for the algorithm. Also to say thanks for posting, and to say several of these reasons resonate. Not so much societal pressure, though I see how that could happen. When my "peers" try that with me, I have to stop myself from talking to them like they are children. I also wonder why they make such a big deal out of bit fiddling, but whatever.Yes it can feel good. It's not the greatest thing to ever be experienced, but it ain't all bad, either. Still, why oh why is just about everybody so obsessed? So long as it is adult and consensual, IDC who's doing what with whom.

[@Doomsword0]

Points 2 and 3 are kinda the main reasons for me. I've only done it a couple time and each time it was curiosity of wanting to find out if I would enjoy it/after the first time if I'd enjoy it more than the previous time. as well as simply I do masterbate for my own enjoyment and sometimes I decide, it might feel good to try this with another person kinda thing. Also when you started point 3, boy that's a big mood, even as someone who has done it, I'm still like "what's the big deal about it" like I said on occasion I'd like to try it but then it's like, okay that was that anyway

[@garak_on_b5679]

😂acutally i was curious about sex and might try it out of curiosity! it's kinda like, there's this restraunt with full stars on yelp, but looks like ordinary banal food to me and i'm just curious why people love it so much.

[@_mels_hellscape_]

As someone on the ace spectrum and still h0r-kn33 sometimes, thanks for this vid

[@courtneyisaseagull]

Thank you for posting this video! It was really informative. ❤

[@justicetruth5188]

For some Ace people having sex is like going out to brunch

[@LenaLovesgoodStories]

I have only very recently started to wonder whether I'm on the spectrum because of exactly this reason: I have sex and find it enjoyable. I think for me, an outsider, it's mainly the word "asexual". Im my ears, it doesn't sound like the wide spectrum it apparently is but as only the end of this spectrum: no sex(ual attraction). I find that idea of being on the spectrum (demisexual, maybe?) very liberating. I have been together with my partner for 9 years now and we have a daughter and she had to happen somehow. 😅 But its just not a big deal for both of us. We both want sex far less often than what's probably average. We are both fine with that, but you hear so often that something is wrong with your relationship or yourself if you only want sex every three months or something that I sometimes put pressure on both of us. Maybe, if we weren't so stressed out or worked less or if the baby slept in her own room or I would shave my legs or work out more or SOMETHING. Me must do something wrong, surely? There must be something wrong or malfunctioning in our relationship, surely? But ... Uhm... No? Maybe we're just both on the spectrum and I can actually stop worrying and ask the both of us without precast expectations: is there something you would like more of in our daily life and if yes, what is it? I think if he would play with my hair more that would make me really happy and I'd rather have more of that than more sex. 😊 But it feels really hard to "admit" that. People are strange. In any case, thank you for your videos. They help me reconsider my feelings in a positive way. 😊

[@abracadaver169]

I've had these same thought jumbled up and muddied in my mind, and you have organized them and put them in to words so clearly! I've not had any questions about this (because I'm out to only 11 people, mostly fellow queers, who accept me without question), but when I do get these questions I can hopefully explain this to people as clearly as you have.

[@Sricketts14381]

Hi there, I'm Stephen and I have asperger's syndrome. A few years ago, I learned about autochorissexuals, and I wondered if I fell under that category, being someone who is uninterested in actually having sex with a person, but can be turned on by cartoon characters, people in adult movies, reading adult fiction, and I even fantasise it through my own characters. The problem was finding other autochorissexuals to confirm if I am one or not. What lead me to finding this video was buying an asexual badge at a Pride event, and some random person called out to me while I was just looking at swimsuits displayed at a lingerie shop window, imagining some of my characters wearing them. What that person said got to me and made me doubt myself, and I think this video helped me realise he was just some jerk, and the badge was drawing attention from the wrong type of people. Anyway, if I really am Autochorissexual or not, please let me know your thoughts.

[@MrPolik890]

This video has helped me understand asexuality better. Thanks!

[@Iamveryboredrn]

Facts

[@TranzFloofyBean]

I think I’m like Demi and gray ace if that’s a thing ;w;

[@SnowLily06]

The only reason I'd ever have sex is if my partner wanted to. Im pretty neutral and uninterested in sex so idc but if my partner wanted to have sex then its not like im sex repulsed or anything so why not make them happy

[@arwynna.4715]

Another reason for some ace-spec people is actually experiencing sexual attraction to the person, since demisexual and graysexual people do experience small amounts of sexual attraction it is possible for them to have a partner who they are sexually attracted to! Definitely not the most common reason since many asexual people don't feel any sexual attraction, and for those who do it's often infrequent enough that it just never happens with someone they're actually having sex with, but it's possible

[@HollDoll16]

I discovered that I'm aegosexual less than a week ago. My reason for losing my virginity (to my now husband) was that we already explored handsy stuff together, and sex was the "next logical step". I wanted to see what all the fuss is about. Now that the novelty has worn off, I fantasize about some lingering curiosities, but masturbation satisfies my needs for the most part. However, I still enjoy having sex with my husband when our moods align.

[@Sarawinky]

thank you for the video, i don't have desidere pf sex with someone but with myself

[@DANNYTHEFROG123]

It went from normal to nothing. I noticed it in my 30s. I guess i had enough.

[@Janbed4827]

Can you explain to me what the difference is between being sexually attracted to someone and having sex with someone because it feels good?

[@HotDogTimeMachine385]

Serotonin goes brr

[@saoirse2963]

It's amazing for me the generation who cry "don't put me in boxes!" put themselves in thousands of different boxes. It's also amazing to me how you people other yourselves. You say we "cis" people (read: people who simply don't identify as anything, just exist) other you, but you really othering yourselves. You act like you are just so different from us, you require a special treatment. When in actuality, at least most of the times, what you describe is extremely common, and pretty much every person or every other person is exactly like that. I mean, oh, so you are saying that what you are okay with in bed and what you aren't changes from time to time and there are things you are not okay doing at all? Wow, that's totally a sexuality and not something every person on this planet feels! "Demisexual", lol. If your partner is asexual or demisexual you should ask what they are comfortable with in sex? You don't say. This is totally not something everyone should do with their sexual partner, no, you are special, thanks for educating us on this. So called ~allosexual~ people have no bounderies, likes and dislikes in bed I guess, this is just for you people with special sexuality. Give me a break, will you? You are just an ordinary woman. It's okay to be an ordinary woman, I promise.

[@NeutralPanda]

If demisexuality was the norm we wouldn't have things like love at for sight, asking out strangers or hook-up culture. The whole point the label exists is because it's not universal.

[@DasOrangensaft.]

While you're right: People put themselves in boxes and don't want to be put in boxes by others - it is just the _wrong_, unfitting boxes they don't want to be put into. Asexuality/demisexuality/allosexuality refer to sexual _attraction_, not to what one prefers in bed or how one should communicate. So yes, what you are describing goes for everybody taking part in sexual interactions. :) Asexuality just means: Little to no sexual attraction. Demisexuality just means: Sexual attraction just after a (deeper) emotional connection has been built. Nothing to do with sexual _actions_. Also: Lynn is non-binary.

[@Ferretic]

0:15 I am very disappointed that the list shown excludes aegosexuality. We're just as valid as the rest of the aces, dangit!

[@hotdogsarepropaganda]

as demi myself I was talking with another ace friend and told her I can honestly say cleaning my ears with a q-tip after a hot shower has objectively been better than the handful of times Ive engaged in sex. that doesnt mean I dont like connection and been having some struggles the last weekend with my partner that im NOT a house plant because im asexual