You Are The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With

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The Art of Improvement

The Art of Improvement

Күн бұрын

Who do you spend the most time with? Who are the people you most admire? Are those two groups of people the same?
Why not?
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Book mentioned:
The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
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Further information:
The Difference: Living Well vs. Living Great: / the-difference-living-...
Figuring Out What It Means To Win The Game Of Life: / figuring-out-how-to-wi...
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This was initially published as an article on Medium.com by Maarten van Doorn: / you-are-the-average-of...
Author: Maarten van Doorn | maartenvandoorn...
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Пікірлер: 103
@TheArtofImprovement
@TheArtofImprovement 6 жыл бұрын
"First Who, Then What: Get the right people on the bus, then figure out where to go." - Jim C. Collins --- Book mentioned: The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy BUY THE BOOK ON AMAZON: geni.us/XS6O --- Further information: The Difference: Living Well vs. Living Great: medium.com/the-polymath-project/the-difference-living-well-vs-living-great-4b0ebfa7662d Figuring Out What It Means To Win The Game Of Life: medium.com/the-polymath-project/figuring-out-how-to-win-the-game-of-life-1f98fea9fa7c
@michaelsanni9931
@michaelsanni9931 6 жыл бұрын
Nice video. Pls what is the name of the soundtrack at the end of this video. I like the music
@havefaithinGod715
@havefaithinGod715 5 жыл бұрын
I had haters and envious people around me who secretly sabotaged me..I had developed low self esteem as a result...people we surround us with play a huge part in our lives...they can build us up or completely change the course of our destiny...
@olliew2932
@olliew2932 4 жыл бұрын
i feel u dude
@shreeyamd
@shreeyamd 6 жыл бұрын
Although this is quite a widely circulated rule, most people still make it to be a very trivial one, it seems. Yes, we can easily see how the people we spend our time with have an effect in shaping our lives, but changing your close knit circle is VERY difficult, for a variety of reasons. So, if you have a mentality that hungers for success and is at odds with the closest 5 people around you, it does not mean you are doomed. Instead, use this rule to your advantage. For example, read and listen to audiobooks and podcasts all the time. Instead of chatting about useless things, listening to music all the time, binge watching TV series, replace all of them with audiobooks and podcasts. Such that the 5 people you spend the most time with listening to and thinking about become the giants of history.
@Moribus_Artibus
@Moribus_Artibus 4 жыл бұрын
Shreeyam Dahal wonderfully articulated
@PeteS_1994
@PeteS_1994 4 жыл бұрын
We also influence those around us. And weirdly I think we can choose our friends but only to an extent. I'm quite socially awkward but my best friends weren't chosen we just clicked. So I think if we don't choose who we like, to find the best people for ourself we ought to surround ourselves in the places we would likely find others who are there to push and support us. I also think our friends influence us more than we think. For example, if they all smoke or do drugs but we don't, we wouldn't exactly move to drugs but would probably have a less serious view about drugs. Which can be good and bad, as we would be open minded to an extent. If our friends looked down on education a lot, we can still study, but from experience, it would make us take studying a bit less serious than if they did as we would have a thought on the back of our minds on if they are somehow right to not take education seriously. And if we truly disagree with them but don't word it, would we be able to be friends or to be really authentic with them?
@faustodiegomaidana3598
@faustodiegomaidana3598 3 жыл бұрын
Well put
@zodiacfml
@zodiacfml 6 жыл бұрын
Spending my time with this channel. I have no real person/mentor to look up to for success.
@BEYONDComfort
@BEYONDComfort 6 жыл бұрын
good choice.
@Kejsh22
@Kejsh22 6 жыл бұрын
I'm in the same boat. We need to look harder.
@bigfishartwire4696
@bigfishartwire4696 6 жыл бұрын
Same
@Lysana7
@Lysana7 6 жыл бұрын
try Marie Forleo, Tony Robbins, Mel Robbins, Lavendaire, mucchelleb, Casey Neistat, Peter McKinnon, Matt D´Avella, other "real" people... they´re on youtube as well, but "real people" if you know what I mean... at least it´s easier to think of them as role models, because you see their faces, etc :)
@unleashingpotential-psycho9433
@unleashingpotential-psycho9433 6 жыл бұрын
That is absolutely true that the people around us greatly influence us. This is why it's extremely important that we choose friends who are positive and bring us joy in life as opposed to Debbie Downer who bring us down with them.
@Kittygirl-Shift-Kit
@Kittygirl-Shift-Kit 3 жыл бұрын
Well someone might be a Debbie downer because they aren't mentally okay or they are depressed, then you just need to support them
@aastha3381
@aastha3381 3 жыл бұрын
What should I do?? Should I leave my house or what ?🥺🤣
@fancyf33t295
@fancyf33t295 6 жыл бұрын
Too true. It can be very isolating to move forward through life while shedding dead weight but it is so important to be in control of your peer group.
@ravenburneskushner1825
@ravenburneskushner1825 6 жыл бұрын
I've spent way too much time with folks who have latched onto me, or people who I have to be around out of obligation, and not enough time with people I actually admire. I'm making that change!
@Ab_someone
@Ab_someone 5 жыл бұрын
I'm a loner, who lives with my family mother, elder brother and a father who lives in our village. I have a miserable life for 34 years now.
@wrk130
@wrk130 Жыл бұрын
did it get better?
@DharmajBhardwaj
@DharmajBhardwaj 6 ай бұрын
Hi
@TheLifeFormulaa
@TheLifeFormulaa 6 жыл бұрын
Great advice! Emotions are infectious. If you spend all your time around negative people, you will always feel down and not accomplish much.
@uniquestar5527
@uniquestar5527 2 жыл бұрын
That's why i don't like people who gossip negatively, always complaining, blaming, feeling victimized, negative outlook... It's so exausting to be around with them.
@GeekyMino
@GeekyMino 6 жыл бұрын
This is so true! We must consciously filter the people we let into our life. Never settle for less than you deserve and always try to be surrounded with people that are ahead of you because that will make you improve.
@brian2866
@brian2866 Жыл бұрын
If they all shared the same philosophy, then they wouldn't want to spend time with you. See what I'm saying?
@jamestravis21
@jamestravis21 6 жыл бұрын
Surround your speed with people you admire, the people who already are what you want to become. These people have already experienced the things you’re going to experience on your journey and can help you avoid the mistakes they made. The real question becomes: where to find those people, any thoughts?
@jamestravis21
@jamestravis21 6 жыл бұрын
Surround your speed!? 🤦🏾‍♂️ *yourself
@ravenburneskushner1825
@ravenburneskushner1825 6 жыл бұрын
James Travis I have found them at meet-up groups and networking groups.
@nzw149
@nzw149 6 жыл бұрын
Timeless lessons,so worth to learn in young age.
@arielvagus1618
@arielvagus1618 6 жыл бұрын
You're right. Your networks are your net worth. So, choose the right people to network with.
@moritzschroder
@moritzschroder 6 жыл бұрын
this channel will hit 100k subscribers so freaking fast! i am excited that i'm not the only one who values self improvement and spreads the knowledge 😉
@kartarbhogal
@kartarbhogal 4 жыл бұрын
What if the people you spend the most amount of time with are also the people you don't want to spend time with? For instance same household members.
@Octopus_MTEF_MinEco_BU
@Octopus_MTEF_MinEco_BU Жыл бұрын
This is the truest thing on KZbin. Prior to me starting my agribusiness, I spent time with community friends and my family members. The moment I started it, my interactions with farmers, entrepreneurs, corporate executives increased. This changed my mindset, from a complacent people's man to an ambitious businessman.
@b.mauriceomg446
@b.mauriceomg446 6 жыл бұрын
Wow! I knew this already, but I didn't know that the influence was that powerful.
@nicolasmartin7661
@nicolasmartin7661 6 жыл бұрын
Now I know that I have to get divorced hahaha
@fromthe4621
@fromthe4621 6 жыл бұрын
Martin Nicolas Selave if ya spouse is real negative or weighing you down its time for a divorce.
@thecastle09
@thecastle09 6 жыл бұрын
Martin Nicolas Selave fact. Do it. I did.👍🏼
@Ttvmushygushy
@Ttvmushygushy 6 жыл бұрын
lol is this what married life is like?
@melaniefazio823
@melaniefazio823 6 жыл бұрын
Haa haa better sharpen the axd
@thetruthbetweenthelines8521
@thetruthbetweenthelines8521 6 жыл бұрын
There should be more videos about this subject and more people speaking about this thing in their keynotes. Apparently is an easy subject, common sense pretty much. Reality is very different. It might be not super difficult to find the right people, but it's super hard to eliminate the ones who became poisonous for your existence. Especially if they are family. And it's always someone from your family as well :)
@ravenburneskushner1825
@ravenburneskushner1825 6 жыл бұрын
Good point!
@ShreeNation
@ShreeNation 6 жыл бұрын
Back again with the stellar quality content RIGHT before I sleep :)
@HvE123456789
@HvE123456789 6 жыл бұрын
Isn't it better to say that i am the average of my own environment? Since that i can see people on the internet and become like-minded like them?
@Ryanrhodes1
@Ryanrhodes1 5 жыл бұрын
Watzegik Datzegik true . Your influences make you who you are . The things you like to watch . The things you like to do the choices you make . The people you keep the closest to , etc.
@t3n3r34
@t3n3r34 6 жыл бұрын
I hangout with myself and I admire no one, I'm fucked
@KatrinaAglipay
@KatrinaAglipay 6 жыл бұрын
How can I get those 5 people in my life?
@megatendencias3501
@megatendencias3501 3 жыл бұрын
It's more easy than you think. 1. Keep watching motivational videos like this one. Look for Tony Robbins, Evan Carmichael, Dan Sullivan and so many more. 2. Make a list of who you would like to mingle with because you admire something of them. Get closer by telling them just this. Call them, write to them. 3. Do another list of people who are toxic who make you feel worst- and distant yourself from them, lessen your interactions and bonds with them. Make yourself be respected. 4. Increase your self-esteem by designing your new you. I will recommend Benjamin Hardy's book "Personality isn't permanent" to build yourself a new Pinay. 5.Always have in mind if there is a Will there is a Way!
@titoncio
@titoncio 4 жыл бұрын
I usually dont like these inspirational videos, but of course this is a great must watch. Thanks!
@lasmgoogleaccount9728
@lasmgoogleaccount9728 5 жыл бұрын
It feels like a math equation now... Product of your family, factored by theirs and their environment. Sum of your friends, along with theirs. Difference of your trials and challenges. Quotient of your realizations. Your efforts and the decisions you've made equate to your exponent. ... but the difference is, the values constantly change for each one. Also, the equation does not end until you die.
@etrogneux
@etrogneux 2 жыл бұрын
The Art of Improvement is one of these 5, definitely 🤩
@istp1967
@istp1967 4 жыл бұрын
"Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are" -- Twain.
@raymondezell7817
@raymondezell7817 4 жыл бұрын
So important man
@lisanicholls2706
@lisanicholls2706 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your uplifting Channel. 😊 Yes, the right or wrong people can make or break you when times are hard... I have learnt this the hard way. yes, we all have influence .... Birds of a feather flock together. Yes, time for changes...... I am creating positive changes..... Utube Mentors Channels. +Co workers,Bosses. Mentors and Role Models.
@nyeinchanmaung4187
@nyeinchanmaung4187 Жыл бұрын
Very good message for me. Thanks for your video.😀
@ChrisSaraceno
@ChrisSaraceno Жыл бұрын
This is #TheoryOf5 thinking love it. Awesome Book
@Rover08
@Rover08 4 жыл бұрын
4:21 Surround yourself with people you admire
@Maitch3000
@Maitch3000 4 жыл бұрын
Well, often the people you spend most time with is co-workers. You hardly choose them.
@galinstan5603
@galinstan5603 Ай бұрын
Yes, you are correct. However, you make choices in life which determine what kind of work you do.
@mikeg1433
@mikeg1433 11 ай бұрын
When I find 5 people that want to hang out with me on a regular basis, I’ll keep this in mind. Probably not going to be a worry in this life 😜
@Daniel-fz6iz
@Daniel-fz6iz 6 жыл бұрын
Napoleon Hill this group of people surrounding and influencing you the "Master Mind" team. Very convincing!
@garethsmart6480
@garethsmart6480 6 жыл бұрын
Love it, thank you
@victory9015
@victory9015 4 жыл бұрын
I'm in self improvement process. My friend only wants to play Video games, if i talk to him about taking risks or doing anything else just for grow as a person, he turns conversation back to video games. Its so exhausting.
@paulasofia8
@paulasofia8 2 жыл бұрын
I love this video!! Thank you!🙏🏻❤️
@IrelandVonVicious
@IrelandVonVicious 6 жыл бұрын
Four kids and a wife.
@Kittygirl-Shift-Kit
@Kittygirl-Shift-Kit 3 жыл бұрын
awww that's really wholesome! I bet your kids and wife are beautiful inside and out!!!
@muresandani
@muresandani 5 жыл бұрын
Why not? Because friendships are way more complicated than you make them sound. I could meet someone who is just the way I want to be and not get along with them at all. Or have no interest in spending time with them. Or they with me. You don't consciously choose friends.
@yaboy1175
@yaboy1175 4 жыл бұрын
be the bubble that lifts the other ones up, the support raindrop on the car window
@TRMcCoy
@TRMcCoy 6 жыл бұрын
Bravo! Such great content. Thanks team!
@dcsapporo
@dcsapporo 3 жыл бұрын
I admire you and your content.
@niklas9848
@niklas9848 Жыл бұрын
So i thought its about the 5 closests friends, but this is wrong. Its about the people generaly. I realize know, that even your parents and other familymembers are included. This is a very big change. Thanks
@Rover08
@Rover08 3 жыл бұрын
2:40 Associate with people that hold you to a higher standard 4:26 Surround yourself with people you admire
@daniels4209
@daniels4209 6 жыл бұрын
like will be given.
@Cruzzzzz1988
@Cruzzzzz1988 6 жыл бұрын
Now can you make a video on how to cut friends?
@ravenburneskushner1825
@ravenburneskushner1825 6 жыл бұрын
In my opinion I think it's less about "cutting" friends and more about choosing your daily 24 hours wisely. The more we spend time doing positive things and putting ourselves around great people, the less time we will have for hanging out with negative people, or wasting time. For example, oftentimes I have to pass on family gatherings because I've started attending workshops. They accept this as an excuse and I don't have to worry about "cutting" anyone.
@insanedumpling123
@insanedumpling123 6 жыл бұрын
I love my friends :)
@migida77
@migida77 3 жыл бұрын
who are the 5 people that he drew in this? It looks like MLK, Einstein, Churchill and Armstrong.. but who is the woman with the light?
@lisanicholls2706
@lisanicholls2706 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you 😊
@sanchos10
@sanchos10 6 жыл бұрын
great video
@daveyt4802
@daveyt4802 2 жыл бұрын
It's been very few people lately.
@joebeta1837
@joebeta1837 2 жыл бұрын
So, who am I the average of if I don't hang out with anyone outside of work? At work, I talk to people but I don't hang out with them there either. They talk too much, there into drama, and they make fun of people alot. I don't like any of that. I live in my own home and have my own garage gym. I don't go to restaurants or anywhere except bike ride down the city trails and grocery shopping. So, who am I the average of?
@galinstan5603
@galinstan5603 Ай бұрын
You may be the average of people in your past, i.e., family, class mates, past friends, past coworkers. However, your current environment could erode who you are. Resistance may be futile. Maybe, it is time for change.
@bilalkhares9337
@bilalkhares9337 5 жыл бұрын
The fact that a lot if financial success is related to who someone spends time with is because rich people usually have rich friends and already have the best opportunities and easier lives because they're rich.
@danielclarke8053
@danielclarke8053 4 жыл бұрын
But it could also be a poor person who becomes rich, then acquires rich friends.
@alivingexample554
@alivingexample554 2 жыл бұрын
But the Issue for me Is I do not look up to or Admire anyone. I learn from others EXACTLY what NOT to do. There is ONE person I admire - This is Jesus b/c he understands from experience what it is like to have an abusive family; especially a biological mother.
@lali6979
@lali6979 3 жыл бұрын
oh so this is why im emotionally manipulative thnx parents
@elizabethspawn600
@elizabethspawn600 4 жыл бұрын
I have no friends therefore the average of 0 is 0 thus I am nothing.
@joebeta1837
@joebeta1837 2 жыл бұрын
Me, too. When I'm off of work, I don't hang out with anyone. Nobody comes to my house and vice versa. I don't hang out with coworkers. As a shift supervisor, I don't talk to many coworkers because, although they're nice, they are snitches, backstabbers, and they're into drama. I have a gym in my garage. So, I don't go out at all. So, who am I the average of?
@fangdrag
@fangdrag 5 жыл бұрын
Does it include people that are only physically around you or this can include people who are not physically around you but you keep in touch via social media?
@PierretteMalaika
@PierretteMalaika 4 жыл бұрын
fangdrag social media too
@galinstan5603
@galinstan5603 Ай бұрын
Also, does it include public figures you follow? By follow, I mean listen to their lectures, presentations and analysis of various things.
@SinnohX
@SinnohX 5 жыл бұрын
Oh God, no!
@Funwinxpixee
@Funwinxpixee 6 жыл бұрын
people I admire? none but myself
@BEYONDComfort
@BEYONDComfort 6 жыл бұрын
Why?
@asia22
@asia22 6 жыл бұрын
@errolm8313
@errolm8313 4 жыл бұрын
What is your à loner?
@juanzavala9023
@juanzavala9023 3 жыл бұрын
from my experience, this is total bullshit.
@abhmmh8892
@abhmmh8892 Жыл бұрын
As the only person I hang out with I am literally the best guy around
@Pickle_Pee
@Pickle_Pee 6 жыл бұрын
This is exactly right. I'm surrounded by bad role models and people who have gave up on life.
@BEYONDComfort
@BEYONDComfort 6 жыл бұрын
Books = we get the brightest role models.
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