You can't afford this: billionaire lifestyle

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EDITED BY:
Mike Romans

[@Travel_with_Gigi]

"anyway I'm a broker now 💅" genuinely caught me off guard I wasn't ready

[@TAZEROXFORD]

@Repent and believe in Jesus Christ Jesus was a broker

[@Natsuki_Kat]

​@@TAZEROXFORD the goat dick danger spitting facts again

[@______4790]

broker than u were

[@raphael8951]

​@@TAZEROXFORD❤jz,😢,f5n a2

[@nxi8792]

Noel, you don't have to show us a pent house. Most of us cannot afford a regular house let alone a place with a view of NYC.

[@F4URGranted]

No literally show a 2 bedroom single family home and it's already out of my paycheck to paycheck price range

[@tonisharday8777]

This like dude look at your new house and shut up being fake woke

[@Itsdiamxndtho]

I currently live here and I’m struggling to pay for my one bedroom 😭

[@breakingmichigan]

he could've shown a 2,000 sqft house in Detroit and flexed on most of us lol

[@KingOfGaymes]

He could show an apartment and I still can’t afford it 😀

[@taviss2775]

Y'know? The French invented a machine that turned out to be suuuuper effective at dealing with that kinda person. I think it needs to make a resurgence!

[@jakelang2442]

Let them eat cake !

[@kel3170]

Yes, give them a one of a kind, hands on experience! It'll make heads roll!

[@kittymowmow12]

Lemonade stands are truly wonderful for that sort of thing

[@albinosh4dow]

Envy has corrupted your mind to the point of inhumanity.

[@silviarav_]

@@robertkeller1253 rusty cage???????

[@actionjackson3522]

I want an apocalyptic movie with a scene exactly like what Noel described: People chopping down billionaires' skyscrapers.

[@dylanhutchins2198]

thats just france at the moment

[@BM-zm1jl]

I guess Osama was based

[@FiFiFilth]

I agree.

[@Blazee2897]

You literally described the plot of Land of the dead (2005). Sorry for spoilers.

[@flamingsalamander4974]

I want that in real life man fuck the movies

[@tedddybear]

The even sadder thing is you can almost guarantee no one will ever live in that apartment. It’s just an investment property, likely to be bought by someone who doesn’t even live in the US.

[@venicec3310]

Such a crazy waste of resources

[@xxTheLocketxx]

New Yorker here- This mentality destroys neighborhoods in this city- temporarily shipping in rich people from elsewhere and making it too expensive for the generations that started that neighborhood to leave…it’s so sad.

[@therockbottom5256]

5:00 “those guys with the airplanes hit the wrong building” 😭😭😭💀 Let’s take a moment to appreciate that absolute banger

[@jaime5649]

LMFAO

[@jackiegarland1222]

Noel the type of guy to drop a video today

[@Whoblewboobear]

So true 😬

[@conjoinedcheese6509]

fr

[@coldsun29]

On bro

[@user-wv5gv3dw5u]

On god no cal fr fr 😩😩

[@carterknight3173]

The gull of some people

[@jakoblarsen2061]

I'm so glad that Noel is a non rich normal person like us!

[@ellynsoup4724]

Lol

[@Kev7035]

Noel crying abt a pent house like this since it's the only apart he can't afford

[@Dinanysos]

The big joke is even if he's a millionaire he's still closer to us in income than these top 0.1%. At least he sees himself accurately, that he's not one of these super rich talked about in three Videos, even with his millions. Better than influencers pretending they're above us because they have a 7 figure bank account and looking down on normal wage earners, as if someone in a penthouse in NYC wouldn't look down on them in the exact same way.

[@ThijsGrins]

@@Dinanysos COOKING

[@marcoverratti6269]

U watching this video gave him money. He makes money making content that u watch. What’s he supposed to do? Find a way to not get paid? Regardless, there’s doctor and having a good job at a top company rich, and he’s really only just around that. Maybe a little more but not much. The point is the ppl covered in this video only have that money off of exploitation. You can’t despise ppl like him or doctors/engineers/any other job of the sort for being rich when it’s achieved through hard work, as well as helping society in some way. If you want to be rich like that, depending on ur intelligence, get yourself a degree and work hard. College is expensive but there are many other routes i.e. community college and then transferring to a state school. If u want to make similar money that he is making, depending on ur situation, u can. Many have barriers that restrict this from being possible, but many don’t. If you live in the suburbs with ur parents, u r not one of those ppl that have unsurpassable barriers. But regardless, the point remains that to live in a building like that, you more than likely have to exploit the human race. That’s what he was getting at

[@loreleimonn3220]

“This penthouse is just $250,000,000” Guys, just buy less lattes, and you’ll totally be able to afford stuff. Rich people are just smarter and less frivolous than you, duh. I mean, just save $10 a day, and you’ll have that much money in [checks notes] roughly 68,500 years

[@cibobestgirl]

I know this may sound weird, but I love how people are finally making fun of this mindset. Like yeah, dude, if us "brokies" just stopped being so "frivolous", we'd toootalllly be able to afford a penthouse within our lifetime! Not like it would take us hundreds of thousands of years of not going out to eat and not buying coffee to reach that goal!

[@loreleimonn3220]

@@cibobestgirl yeah, exactly. It’s also kind of a disgusting thing even if it was true. Like “oh yeah, you see all these rich people traveling the world on their nice yachts at the prime of their lives? Well if you just do absolutely nothing enjoyable and live a miserable life for the next thirty years, then you can maybe have that lifestyle too by the time you reach retirement age.” Like they make it so you’re supposed to feel guilty for indulging yourself a little bit in order to make your oppressive circumstances bearable. I’m glad people are waking up to the bullshit

[@whyusothirstybro]

Here’s another idea, we can also start grifting the shit out of dumb people. Just last week I sold a badly printed Trump shirt with his “signature” to some die hard supporter and he forked over 100 bucks with no hesitation at all.

[@queenro42]

Thanks man, definitely gonna try this tonight! Can't wait to reach my goals!! 🌠😄🌠💰💰💰

[@deadzone6357]

Growth is exponential though

[@TheBangooman]

What has to be great about living in a place like that is having a power outage in the city, and having to spend 3 full days climbing stairs. What a luxury that's gonna be.

[@DRakeTRofKBam]

theyre gonna make the butlers cary them up

[@Timman57]

Pretty sure a building like that has huge diesel generators the size of tug boat engines in the basement to power the elevators and emergency lights AT THE LEAST lol

[@babybecz]

Lmfao. Brilliant.

[@Kev7035]

​@Nathan Swift sheeeesh, let this guy have his little fantasy

[@mcrawfish]

funny thing is almost no one actually lives in places like that- billionaires buy them as investments, just so they can trade it off later down the line

[@lovesuffocated]

Noel always posts when I'm about to have lunch- it's perfect

[@LivinMyJeffLife]

"I'm Rich" - TMG 😂

[@jewellc.389]

Me watching this during my lunch break

[@hotcheetosgirl08]

Until he starts talking about something gross

[@bigboylardax]

You have lunch only once every week?

[@TenApplesforTime]

oh i feel so communal knowing we all watch him during lunch

[@botanicalitus4194]

I think guillotines are really cool contraptions, maybe they should make a come back one day idk

[@Rei_geDo]

Rusty Cage's honest reaction:

[@botanicalitus4194]

@@Rei_geDo wtf is a rusty cage

[@Rei_geDo]

@@botanicalitus4194 google

[@JulioAmazio]

Noel more like No L, guy keeps winning

[@lia.lia.lia.]

banger comment 10/10

[@psychoticbreaks167justletm4]

Damn, that should be his rap alias lol

[@nico2times]

Underrated comment

[@ezreth]

if he sees this he's stealing it for a bar

[@afnan1069]

literally never understood why places have more bathrooms then bedrooms?? like i get if it was equal but like why so many 😭😭

[@actionjackson3522]

To be so wealthy that your guests can drop a deuce anywhere, and you never smell it.

[@KatSpicert]

When you're that wealthy, you'll can have a bathroom for different types of shits you take and what attitude you're in prior. Like, the diarrhea room might be the closest access bathroom on the first floor, but if you're also feeling confidentvand brave, the 5th bathroom on the second floor might be your preference for that day.

[@wartanabadanooh7157]

For guests?

[@sweet_cheeks110]

Lol, I completely understand. But usually the extra bathrooms are half bathrooms for non live-in guests. Even if its a smaller house, you may not want to inconvenience the guests or people you have living with you for someone who might be a stranger to them, using their bathroom 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[@MrsCurioCheerio]

Now I don't have any jokes lined up, but if you want to know the real reason it's 1 bath per bedroom + additional bathrooms for any other designated areas or leisure rooms. So if you get the runs while in your giant mansion's home theater room or full-size outdoor tennis court, you don' have to walk far to get to a bathroom... and plus there's guests and all that

[@JoshAstronomer]

LMAO OMG THAT PLANE JOKE WAS 10/10

[@obiwan5315]

nah it was 9/11 tbh

[@katy_pull]

Bruh lmao

[@Maya-Hayden]

My sister is giving birth right now, the first thing that baby will hear is Noel’s commentary and nothing gives me more Joy ❤ and you know what name I’ll be suggesting

[@mallowmallow2070]

Teach them young that they'll never be ultra-rich

[@actionjackson3522]

Suggest Noel as the name and when the kid grows up, say "You were named for my Doctor."

[@seraphime33]

what in the parasocial

[@von...]

Jebidiah?

[@MaddyIntravia]

Let us know the name she chooses 😍❤️❤️

[@TheRavetetsei15]

Seems like Noel always posts when I feel like there’s nothing to watch

[@jinx17]

My brain can't really comprehend the physics behind these toothpick skyscrapers. Looks like a strong storm could blow it over. And that height makes my sphincter clench

[@doctoursatan]

that is exactly my question. the winds in ny during the winter would take this puppy out in no time

[@ocarinadude762]

@@doctoursatan modern engineering is a wonder, especially sky scrapers. For wind, one of the most simple reasons (but not even close to the entire reason) that they don’t get blown over is because they bend in the wind. Just like trees, skyscrapers are designed to bend with the wind instead of completely resist it in order to mitigate some of the force they experience.

[@meepcow6848]

@@ocarinadude762 Can people inside the skyscraper feel it bending? Cause if so, that sounds terrifying.

[@ocarinadude762]

@Meep Cow I'd assume not, it doesn't bend nearly as much as you'd think

[@nagisa9147]

​@Meep Cow sometimes you can. Even in some taller apartment buildings, you will experience a very very very subtle "swaying" in strong winds.

[@spookcorp_]

It's so weird noel and Cody do basically the same content even tho noel made a fuckin movie. Like I get higher quality content isn't awarded as much algorithmically but it's definitely appreciated.

[@lucassalinger]

What movie?

[@spookcorp_]

@@lucassalinger Suki, it's pretty good, I think he worked on it for like 4 years ago or something but it's more like a short film ig

[@palmetto.]

Also to answer the question Noel asked about why things like this exist at 6:30 : price tags like $250mn serve as a way for extremely wealthy people to park huge amounts of money in relatively low risk assets such as real estate that over time generally increase in value. Putting $250mn in a bank account(s) is a lot harder than buying a luxury real estate property… among other reasons. People very rarely live in these investment purchases.

[@actionjackson3522]

The broker saying "I'm a broker now," was meant more for his parents than for us, the proletariat.

[@quinnyes577]

I did not expect Noel to make a "eat the rich" joke.

[@lia.lia.lia.]

still cannot believe i had the pleasure of seeing this fool live on stage, get you a tour ticket if you can fr

[@therealai777]

I would if his ass would tour Canada for once! 😤🙄

[@rentaltoast2201]

Noel please make this a series just you shitting on rich people and bringing about class consciousness through these 10 minute awesome videos love you so much keep doing you

[@annaaboualfa383]

Yes please 🙏

[@sgtappo2625]

You want to see rich people shit on because they live better lives than you and that makes you angry. So you need to cope by having a guy on the internet over exaggerate about class disparity so you can make yourself feel better about not having any money

[@justabunneh6490]

No thanks. It's bitter and toxic.

[@rentaltoast2201]

@@justabunneh6490 lmfao okay justa don’t worry it’s not going to happen

[@HoloScope]

@@justabunneh6490 It's the truth

[@justicec.8918]

This video radicalized me, thanks Noel!

[@slrflre]

i love that noel laughs at his own jokes like they didn't just come out of his own mouth

[@natebaxley8464]

noel got me liking the video before the ads are even over

[@aimeechau9584]

Most unexpected crossover ep today. Thought I clicked the wrong video when I started hearing Sam from Wendover's voice

[@ftyropek]

same

[@WickedDarkAndHeartless]

You were impeccable in Portland! I loved meeting you. Thank you! 🖤🖤🖤 If you haven’t already gotten your tickets and you can, GO SEE THIS MAN.

[@Vincisomething]

My friend and I went there, too! Loved it

[@TheeJadaLove]

As someone who lives in Augusta ga , yes they do come every year . Yes they are freaking insufferable 🙄 they’re buying vacation homes down here and our rent has risen by 500-1000$ because of it 😐

[@gan5920]

Great show last night Noel, I got locked out of the lot I parked in and had to sleep in a hotel over a karaoke bar where a group of drunk men were screaming their hearts out to Mr. Brightside, 10/10 would do it again.

[@invictusmma.]

“Those guys with the plane hit the wrong building”

[@hannahdakota63]

I actually feel so much better after watching that, just the overall disdain for the ultra wealthy “lifestyle” felt kind of relieving like oh it’s not just me 🙂

[@nicxlaus]

Hey Noel, I’ve been having a rough day, and this video put me in an even worse mood 🙏🏼

[@nate9361]

It is so refreshing to hear from a popular KZbinr exactly WHY rich people are so evil- it is because of the profit motive. They are just that selfish, caring little about emotions and ramifications and people they put out to get there. They are the most evil of evil and they spin around going to pointless events, giving nothing to the world and just taking and emitting 100x as much emissions and waste and just being tasty, tasty dinner for the rest of us ❤

[@Dave-gk6si]

Rich or poor they share the same fate.

[@mapowey]

crazy how blind you are to noel literally becoming one of those people. just listen to him, his whole shtick is hating on rich people, and im sorry, but that doesn’t sit right with me when he’s living pretty close to the same lifestyle. you can tell he’s lost touch if you pay attention

[@pratiya2132]

@@mapowey i mean he’s still being honest regardless. and the money seemingly hasn’t changed him much

[@user-vm6mw5xw7o]

@@mapowey and here, observers, we have a commenter flinging it’s own shit and doesn’t understand how much a billion is:

[@sgtappo2625]

You want to see rich people shit on because they live better lives than you and that makes you angry. So you need to cope by having a guy on the internet over exaggerate about class disparity so you can make yourself feel better about not having any money. News flash. Just because you’re rich doesn’t make you evil lmao.

[@joshable14]

Love how noel ends his promo of the Live tour with throwing his shit at us, cause seeing him 2 days ago in Seattle at the Moore theater talking about "man there's shit everywhere on the streets of seattle" 😂 Peace and love noel!

[@destroyerofworlds938]

My siblings and I once visited my dad’s super wealthy friend when I was a kid. He had several ATVs and a huge plot of land, so he encouraged all of us to go out and ride them. After a few hours of driving we came back and he casually remarked, “No injuries today? Wow, that’s the first time!” Apparently the ATV activity was a regular way he entertained the children of his guests and terrible accidents occurred every time, but he didn’t bother to mention it to our parents. Noel hit it on the head when he did the “look at it” bit - The wealthy hoard these objects to flaunt their wealth over the have-nots. With a platform like KZbin, they’ve merely developed a way to profit off our attention.

[@Hoopergames]

5:00 fucked up joke but 100% true 😂😂

[@dukedouglas1431]

Hey Noel, I was one of the boyfriends that got dragged to the Vancouver Comedy show. I went into it with no expectations but I left dying of laughter. Thanks for providing a great night!

[@feetwoodmac2648]

I've been inside one of those billion dollar NYC penthouses once and it's legitimately SO scary. Like I'm not afraid of heights but when the wind blows you can literally feel the building billowing over a bit. I get that billionaires want to be as high up off the ground away from the common folk as possible but they put too much stock in the structural integrity of these things lmao

[@karotto594]

Noels hairline is really straight for someone with such short hair

[@yougotgamesonyourphone6947]

This is such a random comment 😂😂😂😂😂

[@jobranchflower6101]

Noel immediately after ending the video: ‘I didn’t come here to play nah I came with a plane’

[@YungBrough118]

Noel acquiring class consciousness:

[@edashla]

2:20 lmaoo 2 minutes in and Noel already dropping funnies but facts 😂😂😂

[@austinnsuff6576]

I was ganna take a nap but I guess I'll watch this instead

[@TrustUsBro]

6:27 😂Noel’s not wrong - the rich getting richer by showing rich things

[@thefilmschlock]

I like that Noel puts a little clip at the beginning of the video so I know if the video will be funny or not. That way when I see the clip later in the video, I can laugh again!

[@SimplyTris]

Noel this video is top tier. Your comedy and jokes continue to get better dawg

[@finnianramsey4634]

"Those guys with the plane hit the wrong building" -Noel

[@ayla8345]

The best thing that can happen to you in life is being born into a well connected, powerful old money family.

[@alejandrobarron1962]

Went to see Noel in Denver! One of the best shows I’ve ever been to , Thanks Noel!

[@RyanSerhant]

"Anyway Im a Broker now" - Me 💀 hahahah

[@adrianvvlogs]

hahahahaha

[@yo-tm8rs]

me: i want kendall roy mom: we have kendall roy at home kendall roy:

[@trevbot6767]

I’ve been watching since 2015 and just saw your show in Boise. Thanks for coming man it was fun af

[@xxcrissyxx819]

i'm so happy i got to see you on tour today you were incredible please come back soon Boise loved you!!❤️❤️❤️

[@c.mcn4]

i can’t believe noel just said the word friendo unironically

[@HugoReeds]

Crazy decision to have the first segment in a video titled “you can’t afford this” be a promo for your tour man

[@simons6110]

noel being on straight fire with those anti billionaire jokes. gotta love it

[@piscesmoon6333]

not knowing if the "ahhhhhh" was edited in after noel says "that plane hit the wrong building" makes it even funnier oml

[@NemoThePhish]

i wasnt feeling the first two thumbnails but ill watch now that youve changed it again, thanks noel

[@SouthernGntlmn]

Did anyone else notice the telescope pointing towards the ground instead of the sky?? Lol up there just literally looking down on the poor people below.

[@skylerh7942]

I agree with all the point made in this video had a great laugh, but seeing Cody's video where he meets Ryan Serhant made it seem like he was actually a pretty chill dude

[@michaelhess5981]

Whole bunch of the wealthiest people in here being like “yeah but you’re not talking about me though” yes he is

[@megadeltsmarcy]

those videos just make me anxious because theres so much space you will never use and way too many places for someone to hide in

[@bowlez369]

This was unanticipatedly educational for a noel video. I don't trust the news only independent sources like tiny meat gang.

[@cashchristi]

noel had no chill with his jokes today LMFAOOO

[@songofstorms7]

SO excited to see you in Sacramento on Wednesday!!! Welcome to SacTown🍅

[@jarek_middleton]

Holy shit I recognize the background in that intro haha. Thank you so much for your show in Seattle. Was laughing and crying from laughing the entire show. You’re even funnier in person. Ty for making my first comedy a show a one to remember ❤

[@kimt7803]

Was at the Seattle show and you did great!! ❤️❤️❤️

[@zack7993]

Noel, I don't even watch your videos. You're the funny man making noise in my ear while I perform some unrelated activity, like driving.

[@freshshrub]

thank you noel for always posting when I'm going on my lunch break 💪

[@ethanwright8448]

thank you for posting right as i went to go smoke and shit👏🏽

[@gabielildoggie3869]

Noel hits different live ong bro, denver show was crazy 🗿🪱☘🏵🎵🗿🦍

[@johnny_b_dude]

This is one of the videos I ever watched

[@outdoorsandstuff1516]

Noel your show on April 2nd in Toronto was hilarious

[@three7446]

Ngl I view Noël as one of these rich elite who probably doesn’t associate with his viewers either

[@lando1224]

Just got back from your show in Boise, crazy to see ya in person bro. Was a sick show 😤🤙🏻

[@privatejet98]

5:02 Twin Tower jokes on a Noel video about some asshole in NYC? I'm here for it!!! 😂😂😂

[@music4wildlife]

FIRST, COMMERCIALS DEPRESS ME FOR BEING BROKE, NOW YOUR CONTENT REMINDS ME THAT I'M BROKE. TRULY WHOLESOME AND CHALLENGING CONTENT!

[@ethanmflint4824]

Never thought i'd see the day Noel reacts to a Wendover Video

[@Thelizabethjane1028]

Just saw him in Portland it was great

[@oscarvaldez4270]

Lmfao love the one liners you make, can’t wait for your stand up

[@LighteningfireBlood]

Thanks for the reminder!😊

[@JoshuaHenelyThornhill]

Time to "eat the rich" with our favorite internet personality : Noelius Millerian

[@KlaximumSkroeft]

1:37 you know the vid gon be fire when there's immediately a 20-year old CEO in an ugly suit.

[@rokcomesaround]

Funny that the broker is the same guy that Cody made a real estate video with lol

[@drakeday4770]

Your Seattle show was amazing!

[@snayams]

"racing better on the tv" absolutely right

[@sirvescovo9375]

I love being angrily politely attacked by tour ads at the beginning of my videos, only reason I come here fr

[@cor8579]

The best part about this video is Noel acting like he isn't filthy rich himself.

[@asmaesassi519]

I was like "they're going to MONACO GP NOEL!! SEEING IT FROM A BALCONY ISN'T LIKE TV"

[@Jack-lr3dn]

rich people don't got to bowling allies because they have a full one in their basement

[@thoughtsofthunder]

Noel the type of guy to change his video thumbnail over and over cuz he’s indecisive 😂

[@ayelethashachar3651]

I've heard that the pent house's pipes dont work in the higher up levels of that building. Apperently, he building sways in the wind and the pipes can't handle the bend of it.

[@bobobee9206]

A life hack I've found to live like a rich person without being one is dog sitting. Rich people love to travel and also own designer dog breeds they want nothing to do with most of the time. You get to pretend to be rich AND pet some cool dogs.

[@meepcow6848]

Or house sitting. I like the ones where you just live there for a little bit taking care of the pets.

[@bobobee9206]

@Meep Cow I prefer sitting for dog lovers. They don't care what I do as long as their dogs are happy

[@NoYeahNah]

That building sits mostly empty, as do all of the apartments on 'Billionaires Row'. Half of them are owned by Russian oligarchs and Sheikhs via shell companies. It's considered an investment, they just want it as part of their real estate portfolio. It's almost looked down upon for someone to actually live in one.

[@joybird144]

Why did i have a feeling he was going to change the original thumbnail lmaoo

[@jessicataylorrozema2283]

life is just one round of a high-stakes tycoon game

[@smolnao]

please do a video on love is blind you'd love that show

[@thelakester6942]

That speech at the end was some cold ass shit